All language subtitles for Superstore.S04E06.WEBRip.x264-ION10

.

- Shh. Glenn, the baby
just went to sleep.

- Oh, yeah. Every day's
an adventure, huh?

Hey, did you know that newborn
girls can have a mini

That was a surprise.

- Glenn, this really is
not a good time.

I just got back from
the hospital three hours ago;

I'm exhausted.
- Yeah, uh, yeah, sure. Okay.

Uh, well, we'll just
catch up at work.

- Okay, I'll see you
in six weeks.

- Yeah, sure. Or...

today.

- So, apparently, a person
doesn't qualify for leave

if they work here under a year.

- I know.
I've been there 15 years.

- Yes, but when you were
suspended for... you know...

Um, your clock was
started over.

kidding me?

- Look, I'm sorry.
I tried to fight it.

But if you don't come in,

they are not gonna let me
keep your job open.

- Okay.

Well, then...

I guess I'll see you soon.

- Thanks. And...

try to hurry, 'cause
technically

your shift started an hour ago.

You were supposed to bring in
doughnuts.

A lot of people
were really angry.

Okay, bye-bye.

♪

- I can't believe you have to
be here

two days after
having a baby.

It's indicative of the disdain
this culture has

for working mothers.

- Look, I don't even have
the energy to be mad.

I'm just exhausted and sore
and hormonal,

and I'm wearing pajamas,

and I'm just a mess.

- No, you're not a mess.
You're

Honestly, you're--
you're really beautiful.

You look beautiful right now.

You've got like a--
like a post-pregnancy glow.

- Aww, that's so sweet.

Do you wanna make out?

- No.

Rain check, though.

- Sandra! Christ.
It took you long enough.

I've been dialing for an hour.

- Are you still
in the hospital?

- Yeah, sucks.

I'm hooked up to a catheter.

After a C-section, they don't
let you pee on your own.

But number twos?
I'm in the driver's seat.

Anyway, ugh, I'm bored.
What's going on?

- Remember the shopping cart
that's missing a wheel?

Well, bad news,
it is now missing--

- Hey, shh, shh, shut up.
Shut up, shut up.

I think that guy behind you
is shoplifting.

- Yeah.

You're gonna need to get
a better look.

Follow him.

- Okay.

- Oh, I didn't realize
that you--

- Yeah.
- Right.

Here we go.

Oh, I think I lost him.

- Oh, yeah. She just has a lot
of questions about "Westworld."

- Everybody's a robot.

- Excuse me, I'm looking for...

Glenn Sturgis.

- Mm-hmm.

- I have an interview

for seasonal work.

My name's Kimmer with a K.

- Ah. Is, uh--

did you lose your shoes, or...

- I don't believe in shoes.

both: Oh.

- Shoes aren't something
you believe in.

They exist.
That's a fact.

- Uh, straight back,
left at grocery.

- Namaste.

Left... okay, wait,
left where...

- You want to bet
he hires her?

- She's not wearing shoes.

Of course he's
gonna hire her.

- That's such a good idea
to just watch him from work.

You're gonna save so much
on babysitters.

No.
Adam's there.

I'm not just gonna leave
Parker at home alone all day.

He's not a hamster.

- Parker.
You named your baby Parker?

- Yeah-huh.

- Huh. Like officially.

- I take it
you're not fans?

- No.

I love it.
- Yeah.

- It's so cute.
- It's so distinct.

I bet you there's
a story there.

Yeah. There's a story there.

Like, some relative who died
right before he was born?

- Nope, I went to
a baby-naming website

and saw the name Parker.

- Even better story.
- Mm, okay, yeah.

That makes sense then.

- Parker.

[Warrant's "Cherry Pie"
playing]

- ♪ Sweet cherry pie
oh yeah ♪

- Do not bring a pretzel salad
to Thanksgiving dinner.

Please, Elias.

- Hey, Glenn.
Uh, so, uh...

real quick, you hired
that woman Kimmer?

- Oh, yeah, she's great.

I know she's still learning,

but she is gonna be
Employee of the Month

in no time.

- Just out of curiosity,

do you plan on hiring
anybody else?

- Uh, well, there's one more
position to fill,

and I'm doing interviews
all day.

- Oh. Well, you know,
'cause we were thinking

that if you were too busy
with the baby

and stuff you had to do
in the store,

maybe we could
do the interviews.

- Well, no, I mean,
we wouldn't actually be alone.

'Cause you would be there
in the...

- You taught us.
- The wisdom that you impart.

You know, it's like
footprints in the sand.

- Oh, yeah.

- I was carrying you
the whole time.

- That's what I'm
talking about.

- Just like Jesus.
- There you go.

- Okay, yes. You can do it.

- Awesome.
- You won't be disappointed.

- Great.
- I can't believe how

you guys have grown up.

- Aww.
- My boys.

- Oh, okay.

- My big boys.
- Little weird.

- I'm gonna call you
my big boys from now on.

- Oh, don't do that.
- I love my big, big boys.

- Okay, there it is.

Ugh.

.

- Look, we don't have
to impress them.

You don't have to
wear a tie.

- I never get a chance
to wear a tie,

so I'm gonna go for it
when I get it.

- Yikes.
- Hey, Ames.

Y

- Yeah, I'm not trying
to flatter you or anything,

but you look like
the homeless lady

who sleeps next to
the loading dock.

- I've never been so tired.

I was doing go-backs,

and I couldn't remember
where the Toy aisle was.

And then I found it,
and I unloaded my cart

but then realized that firewood

doesn't belong
in the Toy aisle.

And then I think I took
someone else's cart,

because I don't think
we think we sell this bag

with a wallet and keys
and someone's mail in it.

- Amy, you're, uh...

you...

kidding me?

- She's lactating.

- Yeah, I know
how breasts work.

- Ugh. Parker.

She's just setting
that kid up for failure.

- Totally.

Sophomore year, there was
a girl in my class

named Wanda that was getting
cyber-bullied.

The guidance counselor
was just like, "Uh, yeah,

your name's Wanda."

But she's the mom.

- So, if you saw a woman
beating her child,

would you say, "She's the mom"
and walk away?

Or would you do something
about it?

- I mean, I would probably
do nothing,

but I would want
to do something.

- There is an innocent child
whose name is Parker.

Are you just gonna
walk away?

- Not this time.

- Wow, Penny, you have
a lot of references.

- 50. I basically ask
anyone I meet.

Hey, can I have
a reference?

I'm just kidding.

The thing you have
to understand about me is,

I have a great
sense of humor.

- Seems it.

- You do have a lot
of retail experience.

- Oh, no. Everything
on that resume is a lie.

I'm kidding.

You two should've
seen your faces.

- You don't really have
an off switch, do you, Penny?

- I don't!

But I did work at a PDQ Mart
for two years

I'm not afraid of hard work.

Kind of a work horse.

- We'll let you know.

- Oh, could you actually

let me know today?

I have another job offer.

"An offer I can't refuse."

I also do impressions.

- We're gonna pass.

- Yeah, big-time pass.

- Just a medium-sized pass.

- Hey Glenn,
can I pump in here?

The bathroom is disgusting.

- Oh, you wanna pump your--

you want to pump them in here?

- Yeah, if that's okay.

- Yeah, of course it's okay.

Why wouldn't it be okay?

I'm not a monster.

- Great.

- I'll, uh, just get out
of here

and make room for you.

And you can take off your
shirt and your bra

and get down to it.

- That's how it works, yup.

- Oh, I'll just
clear some room for you.

- No, that's not necessary.

I'm just gonna sit and--
- No, no, it's--

it's my pleasure.

- Okay.

It's just kind of
a pressing situation.

- Yeah, no, I got it.

- It's full, and--
- I get it, I get it.

Just...

- Okay, here I go.

Okay.

Oh, wait, hey!

Why don't you use
the lactation room?

This is a utility closet.

- No, no. It's more
of a multipurpose room.

I mean, come on, you put some
flowers in here

and some candles,
and it'll be great.

- Thanks.
- Yeah.

- Heather,
your grandmother's cameo

is not a part of our
dress code.

Elias, get your fingers
out of your mouth

and wash your hands.

Soap and water,
not just a rinse!

Oh, man, I don't think
this is working.

- Yeah, I'm glad you said that.

I haven't been able to pee
or take lunch--

- Here's what we're
gonna do.

I need you to get 12
machine-grade rebars

and some barrel bolts.

Now, Henry has a welding torch
in his locker.

He'll deny that it's there,
but it's there.

- Okay.
- Get the 8-inch rebars,

not the 12-inch.
Do you understand me?

- I understand.
- I don't think you do.

- So which chair
should I sit in?

- Oh, whichever.

♪

- So, um, tell us what
your greatest strength is.

- My greatest strength,
I guess,

would be strength.

Physical strength.

Okay, and what would your
greatest weakness be?

- I guess...

bullets?

- Bullets.
Good.

Okay, so why don't you tell us
a little bit about yourself?

- Well, Jonah. Garret.

what I hear you asking me is,

you want me to tell you
about myself.

Would you say that's correct?

- Yes, that's what I said.

- I'm just gonna sit
in this one.

- That's fine.

- Unless it's the wrong chair.

- Are you sure you don't want
to go to the bathroom?

- I said I'm fine.
I'm fine.

Just go ahead.
Just go ahead. Here.

- Okay.

So...

♪

- That's an interesting tattoo.

♪

- I like to play tennis.

- Sure, who doesn't
like to play tennis?

job interview.

Did you look at yourself in the
mirror before you came here?

- Pick the chair next to
the grizzly,

it says courage.

Pick the chair near the aisle,
says you want to run away.

- Just pick a damn chair.

♪

Boom!

- Sorry,
that's the wrong chair.

- So close.

- Oh, um, I'm in here.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

But this is where
I come to pray.

- Um, okay, well, could you

maybe come back later?

- Actually, Allah
is pretty strict on time.

- Okay, I'm sorry. Proceed.

Keep going.

- Allahu Akbar.

♪

- God, these people
are all terrible.

- Maybe Glenn really was
getting the cream of the crop.

Well,
that's a real paradigm shift.

- You know, it might be
rose-colored glasses, but

I kinda like that Penny girl.

- She was great.
And funny.

We should've hired her.

- 'Cause you told me not to.

- No, I didn't.
- Yeah, you did.

You said it, like,
with your eyes.

You gave me that look,
like no way.

- My eyes don't say stuff.

I don't have
expressive eyes.

- Well, great, then,
you know.

We let the single best
candidate we have

take another job.

- All right, what about
sex offender guy?

I mean, do we know
what he did?

I mean, maybe it wasn't
even that bad.

Maybe he just, like,
peed in the park or something.

- Oh, I--I looked it up.
It...

It wasn't that.

.

- As you know,
we love the name Parker.

- Ugh, love it so much.

And we found out a few fun,
interesting facts

that we thought you
might want to know.

Did you know that the name
Parker literally translates

to "park keeper,"

so in other words,
a homeless person.

- Sleep on the streets.

- I don't know that anybody's
making that connection.

- Not to your face
they won't.

- The name Parker also
brings to mind

the snobby, rich, evil
character in an '80s movie.

- Hey, nerds.
I'm Parker.

And I'm gonna throw you guys
in a Dumpster.

Yeah.
- But Mateo, what about

Parker Posey?

- Look, Penny, we want you.

You're the only person
we want.

- Well, that sounds great,
but I already told

the plasma donation center
I would start Monday.

- Oh, no.

- You don't want to do that.
Those guys are dicks.

- They're never gonna value you
the way we do.

- Mm-hmm.
- When you're here,

you're family.

- Aww.
- Well, that is--

that is Olive Garden,
but we are a family.

- Come on, Penny.

We know you want to say yes.

- ♪ Oh, I'm workin',
workin' workin' workin ♪

♪ Workin'

♪ Yes, I'm dancin',
dancin' dancin' dancin' ♪

♪ Dannncing

- So, this is who you guys
hired, huh?

That's an interesting choice.

- Oh! Hey, guys.

- Uh-oh, she spotted us.

- Oh, no.

With coupons,
you save $12.

Sorry. Hormonal.

I had a baby
two days ago.

The chip-reader's broken.

It's broken.

The flames are
burning my eyes!

- Well then, don't look at the flame.

- I feel like the sparks are
coming in through the holes.

Ow! Ow, ow.

Ow. Ow. Ow.

- Excuse me.

Coming through.

- Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga

chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga

choo-choo!

Go-back express coming through!

- I find her extremely
annoying,

but that is what
a train sounds like.

- Oddly realistic.

- Excuse me, ah, are you guys
still doing interviews

for seasonal help?

- Unfortunately,
the last spot has been filled.

- Ah! Sucks.

Got caught up in a flame war
with some guy on "Fortnite."

Totally lost track of time.

- I know what that's like.

- Well, here's my resume.

Ignore the useless
philosophy degree.

I guess you can
keep it on file

or throw it away as soon
as I walk out of here.

I'll never know.

- Uh, hey, there--
there's nothing on here

I should know about, like
a swastika tattoo

or something, right?

- No.
- Good.

That's perfect.
- Yeah, you're cool, dude.

- Thanks, guys.
I, um...

feel like your bar
is a little bit low,

but uh, feels really
nice to hear.

If you need anyone,
just give me a call.

- Beep. Beep. Beep.

Go back. Pick up.

Any go-backs
for robot truck?

- No.

- Beep. Beep. Beep.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

- I hate her.
- She's the worst.

- I hate to complain, but that
machine is so noisy.

I'll feel like I'm praying on
the wings of an airplane.

- Well, there's no volume
button, so...

- It's just that when I
make my--

- This is the sound it makes,
Sayid!

- Okay. Okay.

But I already turned down
the other job.

You said we were a family.

- Yeah, we did,
and we are,

but families split up.
Happens all the time.

And sometimes dads
burn down their homes

'cause they can't handle
the pressure.

I mean, that's...

that's sad.

- Wow.
- There you go.

- I...

- Just--
- Just--

Just--
- Don't do this, Penny.

- No, I don't know what
that cry means, Adam.

No, do not put him
on the phone.

Parker, put your father
on the ph--

You don't know
what that means.

Mommy loves you.
I'll see you soon. Bye.

Yeah.

- No, Glenn. I'm not okay.

I am dealing with
a lot today.

- I know, you are, and I felt
terrible about it,

so I got you a pick-me-up.

It's a collection
of bath bombs.

- Sorry, you think that
a bath bomb

is the answer
to all of my problems?

- It's not a real bomb, and--

- Just kill yourself!

- Kill yourself!

- Amy--
- No, you don't get to talk

right now!

I am so tired!

I have slept 90 minutes
in three days.

The lining of my uterus
is coming out in clumps.

I have hemorrhoids so big

that my doctor looked at my
and said "Whoa!"

Have you ever had a doctor

look at your
and say that?

No.

- I am wearing frozen diapers

so that my
doesn't fall out.

Okay?!
- I know, I was just--

- Why haven't you
killed yourself?!

- Okay, well, um...

I am gonna do some
paperwork in my car.

- Okay.

- Yeah.

Delete that.

Delete that!

.

- I probably shouldn't have
told Glenn to kill himself.

- Probably not.

- It's not like I thought this
was gonna be easy.

I just didn't think it was
gonna be this hard.

I'm on day two and I have
nothing left to give.

Aren't you gonna tell me
some inspiring story

about how you made it through
Shakespeare camp

without a dialect coach
or something?

- We were a scrappy,
rag-tag group

but in the end,
we really tamed that shrew.

- There it is/

- Honestly, I don't really
have any advice.

I've never done anything
remotely as hard

as what you're doing.

I'm sorry if that doesn't
make you feel any better.

- Weirdly
it kind of does.

- Hey, Amy, it's
about that time.

- Mm. He's not wrong.

He prays, I pump.
It's a thing.

- It's not a thing.
Whose thing is that?

- Now, if you're looking
for a lighter tea,

you might want to go
the oolong route.

Yup, there--
yup, no, you're on it.

You're on it.
You're on it.

But of course, if you're
looking for something

a little bit more intense,

may I suggest
the Earl Grey?

Nope, upper shelf. Top shelf.
Yup, there it is. Yeah.

Now, actually, you're gonna
want to

get one of the ones
from the back.

The back tea is always
fresher.

That's a little tip for you.

We re-stocked the back.

Now, give that a smell.

You're gonna smell
the bergamot

that's just risen to the top
of the box.

I mean, that is delicious.

- Hey, Glenn.

I just want to apologize.

I'm sorry. I should not have
unloaded on you like that.

That wasn't fair.

- I can't believe that I
ever thought a bath bomb

would solve all
your problems.

- I mean, a bath bomb.

I was so far off.
- Yeah.

You were.
- So I got you a puppy.

Wh-how--

Glenn, I--

- Aww.
- Can't--

I know.
There are no words.

- Thank you.

You're welcome.

- That's exactly
what I need.

- I know.

Bye, whatever your name's
gonna be.

- Oh, look at that.

Putting the products
back on the shelf

without punching
or kicking them.

You're way ahead
of the other seasonals.

- Thank you, thank you.
My parents will be so proud.

- You guys mind if I
take five? Just gotta pee.

- Oh, yeah, go for it.
- See you soon, man.

- Thanks.

- I like him.
- I really like him.

It just goes to show

you put in the work,
you kiss a bunch of frogs,

eventually you're gonna
find your prince.

Lonnie is our prince.

I was
gonna go needle in a haystack,

but I'm in such a good mood,

I'll go along
with your metaphor.

Lonnie's urinating
on the floor.

- Yeah, that is
what's happening.

All right.