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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:29,130 Okay, folks, you might want to put on some sunscreen. 2 00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:31,380 Up this high, the trees start to thin out. 3 00:00:31,380 --> 00:00:33,210 Oh, this might be a good place for a picture. 4 00:00:33,210 --> 00:00:34,330 Oh, let me go behind that rock. 5 00:00:34,330 --> 00:00:35,520 I'll change into my next look. 6 00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:36,600 Another one? 7 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:38,970 He has to. His Instagram follower demands it. 8 00:00:38,970 --> 00:00:41,130 Eagle! Oh, wait, false alarm. 9 00:00:41,130 --> 00:00:42,570 It's just a plastic bag in a tree. 10 00:00:42,570 --> 00:00:44,450 Eagle! Nope. Sorry. 11 00:00:44,900 --> 00:00:45,600 Bag fell. 12 00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:48,340 Every winter, 13 00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:50,410 I take a bird-watching trip with my buddies... 14 00:00:50,410 --> 00:00:52,540 specifically to see a bald eagle. 15 00:00:52,540 --> 00:00:54,280 So far, no luck. 16 00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:57,730 This year, my buddies bailed... back spasm, cracked hip. 17 00:00:57,780 --> 00:01:00,290 And I'm the idiot for installing a shower chair. 18 00:01:00,570 --> 00:01:02,080 I was all set to go solo, 19 00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:04,810 when those three tagalongs invited themselves. 20 00:01:04,810 --> 00:01:06,320 They invaded my territory 21 00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:08,780 like a bunch of bay-breasted warblers. 22 00:01:09,170 --> 00:01:11,140 Darned if I didn't feel like a bay-breasted warbler 23 00:01:11,140 --> 00:01:14,250 horning in on Jay's trip, but Gloria made us go. 24 00:01:14,250 --> 00:01:15,810 She was worried about my dad 25 00:01:15,810 --> 00:01:17,560 being out in the woods alone at his age, 26 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:20,210 so she... she gently nudged us to join him. 27 00:01:20,290 --> 00:01:22,480 Gloria, if my dad doesn't want us t... 28 00:01:23,330 --> 00:01:25,160 Hey, Dad, uh, whatcha doin' this weekend? 29 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:27,540 - Ah, little nature trip. - Oh! Sounds like fun. 30 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:28,720 Actually, I was looking for a little 31 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:29,610 - alone time... - Hey! 32 00:01:29,610 --> 00:01:32,340 Am I the only one with bald eagles on the brain? 33 00:01:33,890 --> 00:01:35,360 You know what? I think in about 10 minutes, 34 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:36,180 the light's gonna be perfect 35 00:01:36,180 --> 00:01:37,810 for my "Afternoon Adventurer" look. 36 00:01:37,980 --> 00:01:40,210 Okay, uh, before we head deeper into the woods, 37 00:01:40,210 --> 00:01:41,400 I should warn you folks that there's been 38 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,660 several bear sightings in the area. 39 00:01:43,660 --> 00:01:44,690 So if you happen to have any food 40 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:45,810 - with you... - Got it! 41 00:01:48,610 --> 00:01:50,480 I was going to say you can store it 42 00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:52,180 in this bear box... here. 43 00:01:52,180 --> 00:01:53,500 Oh. Um, okay. 44 00:01:53,500 --> 00:01:55,130 Well, then, talk amongst yourselves. 45 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:55,980 It... could take me a while 46 00:01:55,980 --> 00:01:58,180 to find where my manly heave sent that heavy... 47 00:01:58,210 --> 00:02:00,120 Ah! Here it is. Someone must've heaved it back. 48 00:02:00,180 --> 00:02:01,260 Thank you! 49 00:02:01,340 --> 00:02:02,280 50 00:02:06,570 --> 00:02:07,720 Hello! 51 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:09,970 Oh, hey, Gloria. Thanks for coming. 52 00:02:09,970 --> 00:02:11,400 It's gonna be such a fun girls' night... 53 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:13,690 drinking wine, planning the nursery. 54 00:02:13,690 --> 00:02:15,160 Okay, I was going to surprise you, 55 00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:17,100 but I can't wait anymore. 56 00:02:17,860 --> 00:02:21,520 It's a handmade mobile of great women in history! 57 00:02:21,570 --> 00:02:22,980 Eleanor Roosevelt, 58 00:02:22,980 --> 00:02:24,090 Rosa Parks! 59 00:02:24,090 --> 00:02:25,210 Ohh! 60 00:02:25,210 --> 00:02:26,140 I just hope it goes with the theme 61 00:02:26,140 --> 00:02:27,680 that Dylan wants for the room. 62 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:29,170 Are any of these women important in the fields 63 00:02:29,170 --> 00:02:30,850 of fire trucks or unicorns? 64 00:02:31,580 --> 00:02:32,090 Oh! 65 00:02:32,090 --> 00:02:34,000 How perfect is this? 66 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:35,770 They delivered the crib, 67 00:02:35,770 --> 00:02:38,660 and I know just the crew of handy honeys 68 00:02:38,660 --> 00:02:39,580 to help me put it together. 69 00:02:39,580 --> 00:02:42,090 Uh, not now, Mom. I've had the worst day. 70 00:02:42,090 --> 00:02:43,840 Me, too. Quick, start crying. 71 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:45,770 We need to derail her enthusiasm before she's... 72 00:02:46,260 --> 00:02:47,530 Unh! Too late. 73 00:02:47,530 --> 00:02:48,440 She's dancing. 74 00:02:48,810 --> 00:02:51,250 Way to rock it, girlfriend! 75 00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:54,100 I cannot deny it anymore. 76 00:02:54,250 --> 00:02:56,370 I am turning into a white woman. 77 00:02:58,890 --> 00:03:00,690 Is there a problem, girlfriends? 78 00:03:00,940 --> 00:03:02,800 Spin class was canceled! 79 00:03:02,890 --> 00:03:03,540 No! 80 00:03:03,660 --> 00:03:05,240 What are we gonna do with our day? 81 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:05,980 "When In Doubt... 82 00:03:06,890 --> 00:03:07,560 Brunch." 83 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:09,410 Where's the nearest place that serves kale 84 00:03:09,410 --> 00:03:11,240 and also has a pun in its name? 85 00:03:11,340 --> 00:03:13,490 There's an Underground Kale-Road down the street! 86 00:03:13,490 --> 00:03:14,690 - Let's go! - Thank God. 87 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:17,460 I've gotten soft lately. 88 00:03:17,580 --> 00:03:19,490 I think I've lost my Colombian edge. 89 00:03:19,490 --> 00:03:21,890 I think we'll all feel better if we accomplish something. 90 00:03:21,890 --> 00:03:23,530 Yes. Unlike Jay. 91 00:03:23,530 --> 00:03:26,480 He's been going on these hunting trips for 20 years, 92 00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:30,250 and not once has he brought home a bald eagle! 93 00:03:34,460 --> 00:03:35,160 Oh, God. 94 00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:36,920 Hendrix couldn't read music, 95 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:38,300 Shaq couldn't make free throws, 96 00:03:38,300 --> 00:03:41,140 and I have a little trouble visualizing space and scale. 97 00:03:41,260 --> 00:03:43,520 So, I think this closet design gives us everything we need 98 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:45,040 in a tight, residential space. 99 00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:46,570 Yeah. Very clever. 100 00:03:46,610 --> 00:03:47,460 Take a walk-through. 101 00:03:47,460 --> 00:03:48,810 Does the flow make sense? 102 00:03:49,460 --> 00:03:50,280 Well, um... 103 00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:52,160 I would get out of the shower 104 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:55,060 and... throw my clothes in the hamper here, 105 00:03:55,170 --> 00:03:57,140 pick out an outfit, and then get dressed right here. 106 00:03:57,180 --> 00:03:58,960 You just threw your clothes in the fireplace 107 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:01,020 and got dressed in front of the picture window. 108 00:04:01,020 --> 00:04:03,710 Well, you have your morning routine, Mia. 109 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:05,180 I have mine. 110 00:04:06,700 --> 00:04:08,480 All right, let's get this over with. 111 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:09,850 Mom, where do we start? 112 00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:10,830 Um... 113 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:14,480 Maybe Mommy just needs some cougar juice! 114 00:04:15,230 --> 00:04:16,440 What's wrong with me? 115 00:04:18,330 --> 00:04:19,600 Watch your step, folks. 116 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:20,990 Some of the terrain gets a little tricky 117 00:04:20,990 --> 00:04:21,960 on this part of the hike. 118 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:23,400 Oh. Good. I thought I'd changed 119 00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:25,740 into my "Remote Trailhead" look too soon. So... 120 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:27,740 You okay, Dad? Want to stop and take a break? 121 00:04:27,740 --> 00:04:30,300 No, no. I just want to stop and maybe see an eagle. 122 00:04:30,300 --> 00:04:31,370 Everybody look. 123 00:04:34,570 --> 00:04:36,250 You've been doing this for 20 years and never seen one, huh? 124 00:04:36,250 --> 00:04:38,700 - Correct. Shh. - Oh. 125 00:04:40,570 --> 00:04:41,360 Yeah. 126 00:04:42,380 --> 00:04:43,390 - Mother Nature can be a real... - Phil, 127 00:04:43,390 --> 00:04:44,910 stop talking! 128 00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:46,380 You're scaring the eagles! 129 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:50,670 N- Oh, my God! 130 00:04:51,340 --> 00:04:53,920 Since we're talking again, uh, we should start heading back. 131 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:55,050 It'll be dark soon. 132 00:04:55,050 --> 00:04:57,020 Or, if you'd like, there's a cabin just up this trail. 133 00:04:57,020 --> 00:04:58,190 It's pretty run-down, but, uh, 134 00:04:58,190 --> 00:04:59,280 you're welcome to spend the night. 135 00:04:59,280 --> 00:05:00,860 - I'll do it. - Oh. 136 00:05:00,860 --> 00:05:02,380 Uh! Are... Are we sure that's a good idea? 137 00:05:02,380 --> 00:05:04,410 Um... wasn't there... wasn't there mention of bears? 138 00:05:04,410 --> 00:05:06,380 No, you go home. I'll stay by myself. 139 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:07,100 Uh, huh. 140 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:08,890 We... We can't let him stay by himself. 141 00:05:08,890 --> 00:05:10,250 We told Gloria we'd keep him safe. 142 00:05:10,250 --> 00:05:12,090 Yeah, if he's staying, we're staying. 143 00:05:12,090 --> 00:05:14,360 Yeah. Yeah. What... What's the worst that could happen? 144 00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:16,170 I mean, in the movies, when city folk stay overnight 145 00:05:16,170 --> 00:05:18,940 in abandoned cabins, things usually pan out okay. 146 00:05:18,940 --> 00:05:20,970 Anyway, I'm gonna run ahead, see if they have any postcards 147 00:05:20,970 --> 00:05:23,230 up at this poorly guarded mental institution. 148 00:05:25,870 --> 00:05:27,050 Damn it, I'm starving. 149 00:05:27,050 --> 00:05:28,990 Nothing in here but an old bottle of whiskey. 150 00:05:28,990 --> 00:05:30,940 Well, just try not to think about how hungry you are 151 00:05:30,940 --> 00:05:32,800 or that Mitchell left the food in the bear box. 152 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,320 We all left the food in the... 153 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:35,790 Did you change again? 154 00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:37,440 Yeah, I just threw a few things together 155 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:39,720 to create a "Rustic Cabin" look. 156 00:05:39,850 --> 00:05:41,690 Well, at least the bears won't be a concern. 157 00:05:41,690 --> 00:05:42,920 Take it from a Realtor. 158 00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:45,050 This Smith & Wiley lock is the gold standard. 159 00:05:52,990 --> 00:05:55,560 All right, I think we are now ready to put together 160 00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:58,970 our beautiful, L-shaped crib. 161 00:05:59,420 --> 00:06:01,600 I-I... This can't be right. One's way bigger. 162 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:04,110 And what, my babies are supposed to come and go as they please, 163 00:06:04,110 --> 00:06:05,310 like they're in a halfway house? 164 00:06:05,310 --> 00:06:08,800 Um, so, a minor misreading of the diagram. 165 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:09,850 I think we're just gonna need to swap 166 00:06:09,850 --> 00:06:11,710 a short side for a long side. 167 00:06:11,710 --> 00:06:13,480 And in the meantime, we bent that bracket. 168 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:15,400 Alex, would you mind running down to the hardware store? 169 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:16,440 No way. 170 00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:18,440 I don't trust myself to drive anymore. 171 00:06:18,590 --> 00:06:20,330 I signed up to be the student liaison 172 00:06:20,330 --> 00:06:21,950 for a visiting scholar on campus... 173 00:06:21,950 --> 00:06:23,600 Sir Kenneth Penrose. 174 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:25,640 Yes, that Sir Kenneth Penrose. 175 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:28,030 Rock star of the microbiology world. 176 00:06:28,030 --> 00:06:29,420 I know you must hear this a lot, 177 00:06:29,420 --> 00:06:31,070 but you're the reason I took up snooker. 178 00:06:31,070 --> 00:06:32,200 Do you still play? 179 00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:34,140 I've had to lay down my cue lately. 180 00:06:34,140 --> 00:06:36,620 I've been working for months on an Ebola vaccine. 181 00:06:36,620 --> 00:06:38,110 Just moments ago, I had a breakthrough. 182 00:06:38,110 --> 00:06:40,110 I can't wait to get to the lab and jot... 183 00:06:40,110 --> 00:06:41,760 - Hey! - Aah! 184 00:06:42,330 --> 00:06:44,120 Whoa! That was my chemistry advisor. 185 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:46,520 I would not want to be known as the girl who... 186 00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:48,480 Sir Kenneth? 187 00:06:49,790 --> 00:06:51,150 W-Where am I? 188 00:06:51,630 --> 00:06:52,890 You don't know the shame. 189 00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:54,240 Now they won't let me drive around 190 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:56,940 anyone smarter than a sociology professor. 191 00:06:56,990 --> 00:06:59,400 You know what else hit the ground today? Me. 192 00:06:59,550 --> 00:07:02,080 While I was bending over to pickup a doughnut off the floor! 193 00:07:02,220 --> 00:07:04,250 It was covered in dust balls, but I didn't care, 194 00:07:04,250 --> 00:07:05,790 'cause I'm a disgusting pig monster. 195 00:07:05,790 --> 00:07:07,100 Oh, honey, please. 196 00:07:07,100 --> 00:07:07,790 You're as... 197 00:07:08,140 --> 00:07:09,500 as beautiful as ever. 198 00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:10,840 Tell that to MugScan. 199 00:07:11,550 --> 00:07:14,640 MugScan is a face-recognition program we use at work. 200 00:07:15,050 --> 00:07:16,510 It was really mean to me. 201 00:07:18,510 --> 00:07:19,740 Good morning, Wayne. 202 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:20,600 Wayne? 203 00:07:20,730 --> 00:07:22,600 I'm not Wayne, you jerk! 204 00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:24,520 Gosh! 205 00:07:33,530 --> 00:07:34,540 You all right, Haley? 206 00:07:34,970 --> 00:07:37,070 I'm fine, Wayne. 207 00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:39,260 One of my shoes flew off in the fall, 208 00:07:39,450 --> 00:07:41,980 and I couldn't put it back on because my feet were so swollen. 209 00:07:41,980 --> 00:07:44,430 You know who makes a great shoe? New Balance. 210 00:07:44,430 --> 00:07:47,680 I wear them when I power-walk to Neil Diamond. 211 00:07:48,060 --> 00:07:50,320 Hey, Mom, is this divider a little too high? 212 00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:52,120 No. No, it's supposed to be that way. 213 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:54,650 That way, if one twin wants to visit the other, 214 00:07:54,650 --> 00:07:57,680 he can just go, "Ah, doot, doot, doot. Hi!" 215 00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:58,960 - Aaaah! - Hey! 216 00:08:01,100 --> 00:08:02,520 Couple thoughts. 217 00:08:03,100 --> 00:08:04,570 - Pair of 7s. - Ace high. 218 00:08:04,570 --> 00:08:07,100 Mitchell, that's the third time you've wandered over there. 219 00:08:07,100 --> 00:08:07,950 What are you doing? 220 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:09,980 - Nothing. - He's got something in his mouth. 221 00:08:09,980 --> 00:08:11,500 - Get him! - No. No, I don't. - Come here! 222 00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:13,150 I hope the jerky was as delicious as the irony. 223 00:08:13,150 --> 00:08:14,860 - Give it! - No, stop it! Stop it... 224 00:08:14,940 --> 00:08:16,760 No! 225 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:19,560 Great. We're sending beef smoke signals 226 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:20,890 to a forest full of bears. 227 00:08:20,890 --> 00:08:22,750 I'm sorry! I should've shared! 228 00:08:22,750 --> 00:08:24,880 Meanwhile, there is a sack full of hiking snacks 229 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:26,060 just up the road! 230 00:08:26,060 --> 00:08:26,970 Brie, prosciutto, 231 00:08:26,970 --> 00:08:29,310 not to mention a wonderful maple-walnut butter 232 00:08:29,310 --> 00:08:31,440 that Gloria recommended on her Pinterest board. 233 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:32,590 That's it. I'm going out there. 234 00:08:32,590 --> 00:08:33,600 Jay, wait! 235 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,030 If you see a bear, remember... 236 00:08:36,030 --> 00:08:37,630 blind it with the flash on your phone, 237 00:08:37,630 --> 00:08:39,560 then lie on your back in a submissive pose. 238 00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:41,800 I'm not doing that. If I come face-to-face with a bear, 239 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:42,940 he better run! 240 00:08:47,770 --> 00:08:49,500 It's darker out there... 241 00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:51,070 Aaaaaaaah! 242 00:08:52,680 --> 00:08:54,200 Are you sure it was the best idea 243 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:54,940 to attach these 244 00:08:54,940 --> 00:08:56,460 before moving them upstairs? 245 00:08:56,460 --> 00:08:57,870 Yeah, I eyeballed the space. 246 00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:59,770 - It really should fit easily. - Ow! 247 00:09:00,350 --> 00:09:03,000 Except Alex apparently has steered us into a jam. 248 00:09:03,770 --> 00:09:06,190 Oh, that must be the pizza guy. Coming, Carl! 249 00:09:06,190 --> 00:09:07,930 You know the pizza guy's name? 250 00:09:07,930 --> 00:09:09,000 No! 251 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:12,990 - Hi. - Hey, Haley. 252 00:09:13,130 --> 00:09:15,230 Surprised to get an order from you before midnight. 253 00:09:15,230 --> 00:09:17,640 By the way, how'd you like that custom shrimp and potato pizza? 254 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:20,910 I don't even know what you're talking about. 255 00:09:20,910 --> 00:09:21,930 Loved it. Love you. 256 00:09:21,930 --> 00:09:23,760 Gonna go get my wallet! 257 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:27,920 Mom? 258 00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:28,720 Okay. 259 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:31,040 Alex, run downstairs and get a screwdriver. 260 00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:33,610 This whole thing will fit easily once we take the cribs apart. 261 00:09:33,610 --> 00:09:34,410 We don't even know 262 00:09:34,410 --> 00:09:36,480 if this thing is gonna fit through the bedroom door. 263 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:37,820 Of course it will. 264 00:09:37,820 --> 00:09:40,650 But if it makes you happy, I will measure again. 265 00:09:40,910 --> 00:09:41,840 Hmm. 266 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:43,470 Hmm? 267 00:09:46,270 --> 00:09:47,160 See? 268 00:09:50,540 --> 00:09:52,030 You always record over my programs... 269 00:09:52,030 --> 00:09:53,040 Whoa! 270 00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:54,970 Gah! Aah! 271 00:09:54,970 --> 00:09:56,540 - Oh! - Ow! 272 00:09:59,210 --> 00:10:00,880 Okay, no, how about this? 273 00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:03,880 We all band together to form one big man 274 00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:04,650 to go get the food. 275 00:10:04,650 --> 00:10:05,580 - No! - Okay, - How's that supposed to work? 276 00:10:05,580 --> 00:10:07,740 Back to back, um, and... and then link arms. 277 00:10:07,740 --> 00:10:09,820 - Okay. - Turn around, give me your arm. 278 00:10:09,820 --> 00:10:11,370 See, look? Like this, all right? 279 00:10:11,370 --> 00:10:13,660 - Do we look big and scary? - Well, I think so. 280 00:10:13,660 --> 00:10:15,560 Let's move towards the door. 281 00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:18,890 Okay. 282 00:10:19,550 --> 00:10:21,050 Nice and easy. 283 00:10:21,680 --> 00:10:25,900 We're just one big man out for a walk in the woods. 284 00:10:26,430 --> 00:10:27,480 Scatter! 285 00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:28,280 Aah! 286 00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:34,030 Wait! Where's Mitchell? 287 00:10:34,030 --> 00:10:34,920 He didn't make it! 288 00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:36,200 One of you two need to go get him! 289 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,270 I'm better staying here as a bear decoy. 290 00:10:38,270 --> 00:10:39,400 I give off a natural musk. 291 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:41,980 Birds land on me all the time. Squirrels eat out of my hand. 292 00:10:42,410 --> 00:10:43,340 Wait! 293 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,040 How do we know it's not the bear? 294 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:46,240 It's me! 295 00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:48,520 You just left me! 296 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:49,960 Oh, you weren't out there that long. 297 00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:50,960 You didn't get the food?! 298 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:52,730 I almost was food! 299 00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:54,970 Okay, I-I wish I never even came on this stupid trip! 300 00:10:54,970 --> 00:10:55,980 Well, who forced you? 301 00:10:55,980 --> 00:10:57,080 Gloria! 302 00:11:02,570 --> 00:11:03,980 It's my delivery ankle. 303 00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:05,470 It's really bad, dudes. 304 00:11:05,660 --> 00:11:08,360 It was already weak from your paintball injury, Carl. 305 00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:09,920 I told you to get it checked out, 306 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:11,500 but you and doctors. 307 00:11:12,590 --> 00:11:14,170 Okay, fine, I know him a little. 308 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:16,090 When it rains, it pours, huh? 309 00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:18,110 - Margaret-Anne left me this morning. - Aw! 310 00:11:18,110 --> 00:11:20,170 Then my dad called me "Craig" on the phone again. 311 00:11:20,170 --> 00:11:21,680 That's the name of his new son. 312 00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:24,280 Oh, God. Carl, can we at least drive you home? 313 00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:25,180 Not now. 314 00:11:25,180 --> 00:11:28,250 I have 10 pizzas going to my enemies, the Sigmas. 315 00:11:28,250 --> 00:11:30,350 Those rich kids get their kicks taking advantage 316 00:11:30,350 --> 00:11:31,870 of our "30 Minutes or it's Free" policy... 317 00:11:31,870 --> 00:11:33,840 use every trick in the book to slow me down. 318 00:11:33,900 --> 00:11:35,980 Well, not tonight, Chad and Chip. 319 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:37,280 Not to... Aaaah! 320 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:38,830 The bone's got to be sticking out, right? 321 00:11:38,830 --> 00:11:41,020 No, it's not even swollen. 322 00:11:41,470 --> 00:11:43,080 Look, Carl, we've all had rough days. 323 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:45,080 Why don't you let us finish this delivery for you? 324 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:46,960 Okay, but we've only got, like, 10 minutes. 325 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:48,320 Let's go, then! Come here. 326 00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:49,340 - Okay. - Come on! 327 00:11:49,340 --> 00:11:51,630 It'll feel good to get something right today. 328 00:11:51,630 --> 00:11:54,280 Plus, I wouldn't mind sticking it to some preppy, white jerks. 329 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:57,680 Hey! That life comes with its own problems! 330 00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:03,550 Don't be mad, Dad. 331 00:12:03,550 --> 00:12:04,880 Gloria was just worried about you. 332 00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:06,320 I don't want to talk about it. 333 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:08,190 Let's just have a drink and be quiet. 334 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:13,230 Lot of colors in that fire, huh? 335 00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:15,390 Red, green... 336 00:12:15,390 --> 00:12:17,180 - yellow, blue... - Geez. Okay. 337 00:12:17,180 --> 00:12:19,740 What is this yammering with you?! Seriously! 338 00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:20,990 I don't know. 339 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:25,450 I guess I just don't like being alone with my own thoughts. 340 00:12:26,700 --> 00:12:28,720 Maybe it's because I have a couple of grandkids on the way, 341 00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:30,680 but now, if... if things get too quiet, 342 00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:33,020 my mind goes to a dark place fast. 343 00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:35,180 I start to worry about the people that I love 344 00:12:35,180 --> 00:12:37,260 and all the bad things that could happen to them. 345 00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:41,150 I suppose talking... pushes those thoughts out 346 00:12:41,150 --> 00:12:43,130 and helps me feel okay. 347 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:44,110 I get it. 348 00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:46,000 We can all spiral. 349 00:12:46,190 --> 00:12:47,790 But you can't talk your way out of it. 350 00:12:47,790 --> 00:12:49,760 You got to think your way out of it. 351 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:52,280 You know, find a happy place. 352 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:53,420 Try this. 353 00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:56,030 30 seconds, no talking. Go. 354 00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:14,200 - Buddy, where are you? - I'm back. Yep. 355 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:16,360 You know, I think we can learn a lot from this guy, 356 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:17,450 because it's not the... 357 00:13:17,450 --> 00:13:20,140 the bears out there that we're afraid of. 358 00:13:20,140 --> 00:13:21,760 It's the bears in our lives... 359 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,870 the fear that keeps us up at night. 360 00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:25,340 And I think that's an interesting topic 361 00:13:25,340 --> 00:13:28,010 we can return to once I change into 362 00:13:28,010 --> 00:13:29,200 my "Fireside Chat" look. 363 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,670 Another wardrobe change? 364 00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:32,750 You're like a sultan's bride on her wedding day. 365 00:13:32,750 --> 00:13:34,170 Go ahead... make fun of me. 366 00:13:34,510 --> 00:13:35,690 I like my outfits. 367 00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:37,240 Why so many? 368 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:38,620 Yeah, I guess when I was a kid, 369 00:13:38,620 --> 00:13:40,400 I realized I wasn't ever gonna fit in, 370 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,380 so I decided to stand out. 371 00:13:42,650 --> 00:13:44,200 I embraced my flamboyance 372 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:46,520 to let the world know their insults won't hurt me. 373 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:49,630 Want to make a joke about me? Go ahead, 'cause I'm in on it. 374 00:13:50,490 --> 00:13:52,200 That's really beautiful, Cam. 375 00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:54,010 And you're not alone. 376 00:13:54,010 --> 00:13:57,360 Growing up, we were all insecure nerds in our own way. 377 00:13:59,580 --> 00:14:00,720 I was cool. 378 00:14:03,550 --> 00:14:05,070 What? I thought we were sharing. 379 00:14:05,790 --> 00:14:08,590 That's very brave, Cam. That's good stuff. 380 00:14:12,330 --> 00:14:14,160 Are you crazy?! I shouldn't be the one driving! 381 00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:16,160 There is no time to argue! Just go! Come on! 382 00:14:18,590 --> 00:14:20,440 Thanks so much for making me part of your group. 383 00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:22,940 It's not every day you make four new best friends. 384 00:14:24,540 --> 00:14:26,060 Why are they going so slow?! 385 00:14:26,060 --> 00:14:27,310 I can't get past them! 386 00:14:27,310 --> 00:14:29,000 This is one of Sigma's tactics. 387 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:30,190 They track my location on the app 388 00:14:30,190 --> 00:14:31,740 and send pledges to try to slow me down. 389 00:14:31,740 --> 00:14:33,390 Ugh! What am I gonna do?! 390 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:34,520 I'll handle this. 391 00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:36,480 Carl, I'm taking your paintball guns! 392 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:38,730 Move! Or I move you! 393 00:14:43,820 --> 00:14:45,610 I do still have my edge! 394 00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:46,540 Yes! 395 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,230 Will you join my paintball team? 396 00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:51,520 What is that?! 397 00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:53,340 Field of Minions. Classic Sigmas. 398 00:14:53,340 --> 00:14:55,720 Don't get distracted by the cuteness. We only have five minutes. 399 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:57,070 Just go around them. 400 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:03,420 Oh, my God, I did it! 401 00:15:03,420 --> 00:15:04,910 And you're all still in the car! 402 00:15:04,910 --> 00:15:06,670 Okay, now, we can't give them any reason to say 403 00:15:06,670 --> 00:15:07,630 that we didn't fill the order perfectly, 404 00:15:07,630 --> 00:15:09,320 so check the pizzas, make sure they didn't shift. 405 00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:11,420 Oh, Haley, I'm sure you're worrying about nothing... 406 00:15:11,420 --> 00:15:14,110 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! 407 00:15:17,260 --> 00:15:19,100 Carl, do you have a pizza slicer? 408 00:15:19,100 --> 00:15:21,340 Only the commemorative one I got for 10 years of service. 409 00:15:21,340 --> 00:15:23,130 Give it to me. I have a vision. 410 00:15:23,500 --> 00:15:25,790 Shaq and Hendrix never got past their blind spots. 411 00:15:25,980 --> 00:15:27,790 Maybe they didn't want it enough. 412 00:15:27,790 --> 00:15:30,030 Turning 9 pizzas into 10 was a simple matter 413 00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:31,980 of removing one slice from each pie, 414 00:15:31,980 --> 00:15:33,880 then trimming off a V-shaped portion of pizza 415 00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:35,120 from each of the remaining slices, 416 00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:37,480 turning them from 36-degree angles to 40-degree angles, 417 00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:38,780 then putting together the 40-degree angles 418 00:15:38,780 --> 00:15:40,570 into nine slightly smaller pies. 419 00:15:40,570 --> 00:15:42,880 After that, one had only to repurpose 420 00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:44,700 the nine previously removed slices 421 00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:45,950 into a 10th pie. 422 00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:48,990 And... 10! 423 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:49,960 It worked! 424 00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:50,880 It really did. 425 00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:52,270 I do have a visual brain. 426 00:15:52,270 --> 00:15:53,290 That was your thing? 427 00:15:53,290 --> 00:15:55,770 I do not miss having white-people problems. 428 00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:58,380 We're here! I did it! 429 00:15:58,380 --> 00:16:00,600 We only have a minute to get the pizzas inside. Let's go! 430 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:03,000 Oh, wait, wait, wait! Uh, the frat has a video doorbell. 431 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:05,100 If they see it's a delivery, they try to run out the clock. 432 00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:06,650 I'll handle this. 433 00:16:08,380 --> 00:16:09,790 Stay on that side. 434 00:16:11,820 --> 00:16:12,330 Yeah? 435 00:16:12,700 --> 00:16:14,330 Hi. Um... 436 00:16:14,330 --> 00:16:17,210 I go to U of A, and I'm super drunk. 437 00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:20,190 Is there a place where I can sober up for the night? 438 00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:25,040 At least my looks can still get me into a frat house. 439 00:16:25,130 --> 00:16:26,570 Okay, guys, go, go! 440 00:16:26,830 --> 00:16:28,940 10 pizzas on time. 441 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:30,170 Pay up! 442 00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:31,530 You guys with Carl? 443 00:16:31,530 --> 00:16:33,200 We are Carl. 444 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:37,660 Come on, hurry up! A bet's a bet! 445 00:16:37,660 --> 00:16:40,360 I told you I could stand on one leg longer than you! 446 00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:42,280 You're the only one whose balance gets better 447 00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:43,760 after drinking a jug of whiskey. 448 00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:46,280 All right. My follower is gonna love this! 449 00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:47,690 Everybody say "Cheese!" 450 00:16:47,690 --> 00:16:48,600 - Cheese. - Yes. 451 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:50,280 Okay, now, that is how you build a brand. 452 00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:52,600 Well, I guess we should kill the rest of this whiskey. 453 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:54,220 But then we'll have nothing to serve the murderers 454 00:16:54,220 --> 00:16:56,780 - when they arrive. - You know, you joke, 455 00:16:56,780 --> 00:16:59,640 but you have a certain paranoia about you. 456 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:00,760 What... What's behind that? 457 00:17:00,830 --> 00:17:02,800 I've never told anyone this, but, uh, 458 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:05,130 a fortune teller once predicted 459 00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:07,760 that I would not live to see my 46th winter. 460 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:10,460 Was that that kook that used to live next door to us? 461 00:17:10,460 --> 00:17:11,640 She's nuts. 462 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:12,720 She told your mother she was gonna 463 00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:13,950 win a Tony one day. 464 00:17:14,090 --> 00:17:16,300 But she was right about a lot of other things. 465 00:17:16,300 --> 00:17:18,170 She said that I'd become a lawyer. 466 00:17:18,170 --> 00:17:20,410 Anyway, I-I guess my "bear" 467 00:17:20,410 --> 00:17:22,110 is the fear of dying young. 468 00:17:22,490 --> 00:17:24,060 Uh, I mean, if that fortune teller's right, 469 00:17:24,060 --> 00:17:25,900 I only have three more years to live. 470 00:17:26,830 --> 00:17:28,060 Well, y-you know what? The way I see it, 471 00:17:28,060 --> 00:17:29,930 this little curse is actually a gift... 472 00:17:30,220 --> 00:17:32,650 a reason to live life to the fullest. 473 00:17:32,650 --> 00:17:34,190 And have no regrets. 474 00:17:34,190 --> 00:17:35,720 Okay, so we're all just accepting 475 00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:37,610 this 46-year thing as true? 476 00:17:37,610 --> 00:17:39,400 We've made our peace with it. 477 00:17:39,660 --> 00:17:40,430 And so should you. 478 00:17:40,430 --> 00:17:43,370 Why not just live your limited days 479 00:17:43,370 --> 00:17:45,320 with leaving nothing unsaid? 480 00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:47,360 Tell the people who matter the most how you feel. 481 00:17:47,450 --> 00:17:48,940 True. What about Phil? 482 00:17:48,940 --> 00:17:52,040 He did text me with a "Love ya" this morning. 483 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:53,290 Close enough. 484 00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:54,250 And your dad? 485 00:17:54,250 --> 00:17:55,950 - Which is fine for the both of us. 486 00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:57,160 Okay, well, it sounds like 487 00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,160 you might be uncomfortable with that word, too. 488 00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:01,070 No! I don't have a problem with it. I use it all the time. 489 00:18:01,070 --> 00:18:02,990 I'm always saying I love things. I... 490 00:18:02,990 --> 00:18:05,360 I love the feel of toasty socks out of the microwave. 491 00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:07,980 I love the far-off sound of a train whistle. 492 00:18:08,110 --> 00:18:09,280 You know, "Ooh!" 493 00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:11,260 What adventure have they gotten off to?" 494 00:18:11,260 --> 00:18:13,320 I l... I love watching a baby stretch. 495 00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:15,690 Those are all good things in your life, Jay, but... 496 00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:17,690 what's your "bear"? 497 00:18:17,690 --> 00:18:18,720 I don't have one. 498 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:20,720 Oh, come on! We all told you ours. 499 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:22,140 Now, when you get to my age, 500 00:18:22,140 --> 00:18:24,360 there are less things that you're afraid of. 501 00:18:25,210 --> 00:18:26,360 Except maybe... 502 00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:28,430 being a burden to your family. 503 00:18:28,970 --> 00:18:30,090 Which is starting already, 504 00:18:30,220 --> 00:18:32,840 because Gloria forced you guys to babysit me, 505 00:18:33,050 --> 00:18:35,880 which is why I wanted to spend the night here 506 00:18:36,060 --> 00:18:40,090 so I could prove I'm not some... frail old man. 507 00:18:40,860 --> 00:18:42,190 But, if I'm being honest, 508 00:18:42,190 --> 00:18:44,570 that hike gets tougher for me every year. 509 00:18:45,740 --> 00:18:48,780 And I was relieved that I didn't have to do it alone. 510 00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:50,220 Oh, Dad. 511 00:18:50,220 --> 00:18:51,640 You could never be a burden. 512 00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:54,090 Yeah, you're the one who's always taking care of all of us. 513 00:18:54,090 --> 00:18:56,670 We'd love the chance to return the favor. 514 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:00,350 All right. It's getting late. 515 00:19:00,350 --> 00:19:02,190 This mountain pimp outfit's making me sweat. 516 00:19:02,190 --> 00:19:03,420 Let's... Let's get some rest. 517 00:19:03,420 --> 00:19:04,060 - Good night. - Good night. 518 00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:05,150 I'll take the sofa. 519 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:06,670 Sure you're gonna be okay out here? 520 00:19:06,670 --> 00:19:08,490 - Yeah, I'll be fine. - Okay. 521 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:11,320 Do... Do you want me to grab you 522 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:12,700 - an extra blanket or something? - No, no. 523 00:19:12,700 --> 00:19:14,280 I'll get something if I need it. 524 00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:15,660 Okay. Well... 525 00:19:17,420 --> 00:19:19,320 Good night. 526 00:19:23,770 --> 00:19:24,590 I know. 527 00:19:42,510 --> 00:19:44,110 All right, Dad. We're ready to go. 528 00:19:44,110 --> 00:19:44,990 Yeah, Jay. 529 00:19:44,990 --> 00:19:47,230 I'm sorry you didn't see a bald eagle this time around. 530 00:19:47,230 --> 00:19:48,760 Y-Yeah. It's too bad. 531 00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:51,400 I guess we'll all have to come back here again next year. 532 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:52,360 Yeah. 533 00:19:52,590 --> 00:19:54,200 I don't know about you guys, but I slept great. 534 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:57,160 That cot was so soft. I'm not always a sound sleeper. 535 00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:58,430 Been meaning to try that melatonin. 536 00:19:58,430 --> 00:19:59,950 I hear it's a real game-changer. 537 00:19:59,950 --> 00:20:01,560 And you can get it anywhere nowadays. 538 00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:02,910 Has it always been over-the-counter? 539 00:20:02,910 --> 00:20:05,310 Kind of a funny phrase, isn't it... "over-the-counter"? 39297

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