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1
00:02:09,712 --> 00:02:14,299
Tell me, how did a nice girl like you
get into a racket like this?
2
00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:17,678
Actually, I was studying
at the Paris Conservatoire.
3
00:02:17,762 --> 00:02:22,224
I was going to be a concert pianist.
Chopin and Debussy, like that.
4
00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:27,229
Then, the night of my first recital,
the piano cover fell on my hand.
5
00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:30,941
Three broken fingers and a broken dream.
6
00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:34,778
After that,
I didn't care what happened to me
7
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:37,781
as long as I could feed myself
and my little dog.
8
00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:43,704
Thank you.
9
00:03:27,999 --> 00:03:30,584
Do you mind if I ask you
a personal question?
10
00:03:30,793 --> 00:03:34,838
You mean, why does a girl like me
have to do this for a living?
11
00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:38,008
Actually, I'm Belgian.
12
00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:41,011
My parents were missionaries
in the Congo.
13
00:03:42,138 --> 00:03:46,016
- I don't want to talk about that.
- I understand.
14
00:03:47,101 --> 00:03:50,854
So now there's just me and my sister.
She's in the hospital.
15
00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:53,065
She needs three transfusions a day.
16
00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:56,193
Do you know how much
a pint of blood costs these days?
17
00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,238
Thank you.
18
00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:50,330
Sorry, pooch. What's his name?
19
00:04:50,748 --> 00:04:52,708
Her name. Coquette.
20
00:04:52,750 --> 00:04:54,418
And what's yours?
21
00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:57,254
Irma. They call me Irma la Douce.
22
00:04:57,588 --> 00:05:00,340
That means Irma the sweet.
I don't know why.
23
00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:03,260
I know why!
24
00:05:03,928 --> 00:05:07,139
- How much is that in dollars?
- $5.
25
00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:09,683
Actually, I don't even know my real name.
26
00:05:09,767 --> 00:05:12,185
I was brought up
in an orphanage near Cherbourg.
27
00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:13,937
It was destroyed on D-day.
28
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:16,189
I've been sending money every week
to help rebuild it.
29
00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:18,734
I've already paid for a whole wing.
30
00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:23,905
That's all I have on me, ma'am.
31
00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:26,908
Actually,
it was bombed by the 8th Air Force.
32
00:05:26,951 --> 00:05:29,119
Not that I blame you Americans.
33
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:33,790
But if you could see those poor orphans
sleeping on the floor, the rain coming in.
34
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:36,418
There are no beds yet, and no roof.
35
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:43,717
Do y'all take traveler's checks?
36
00:06:20,254 --> 00:06:23,673
This, then, is the story of Irma la Douce.
37
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:28,345
A story of passion,
bloodshed, desire, and death.
38
00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:32,516
Everything, in fact,
that makes life worth living.
39
00:06:35,144 --> 00:06:38,688
The place is Paris. The time is 5:00 a.m.
40
00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:47,447
You may have read in travel folders
that Paris is a city that never sleeps.
41
00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:49,324
Don't you believe it.
42
00:06:52,453 --> 00:06:55,205
At this time of the day,
there is nothing doing
43
00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:58,291
unless you're working
for the department of sanitation.
44
00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:06,174
If you want a nightcap at Maxim's,
it's too late.
45
00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:08,260
It's been closed for hours.
46
00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:15,225
If you want to jump off the Eiffel Tower,
it's too early.
47
00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:17,436
It won't be open for hours.
48
00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:24,443
So, if you're looking for a little action,
forget the high-rent district.
49
00:07:24,569 --> 00:07:27,237
You'd better come to our neighborhood.
50
00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:32,117
This is Les Halles,
the wholesale food market.
51
00:07:32,368 --> 00:07:35,495
We call it "the stomach of Paris."
52
00:07:41,752 --> 00:07:44,796
You can keep your Champs-Elysées
and your palace in Versailles.
53
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:46,590
This is the place for me.
54
00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:50,635
Brawling, vulgar, smelly, but alive.
55
00:07:56,225 --> 00:07:59,895
Beef from Charolais. Pork from Perigord.
56
00:08:00,062 --> 00:08:03,648
Lamb from Brittany. Veal from Normandy.
57
00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:10,822
Brains and kidneys and tripe.
58
00:08:11,782 --> 00:08:15,452
Pigs' feet and calves' heads
waiting for sauce vinaigrette.
59
00:08:19,123 --> 00:08:22,959
Salmon from the Loire.
Sole from the Channel.
60
00:08:23,252 --> 00:08:25,128
Lobsters from Corsica.
61
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:29,674
Oysters from Dieppe.
Sardines from Lorient.
62
00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:34,804
Asparagus from Argenteuil.
Oranges from Valencia.
63
00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:38,892
Melons from Cavaillon.
Cabbage from Aubervilliers.
64
00:08:39,852 --> 00:08:42,938
But man does not live by cabbage alone.
65
00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:46,983
And if that's what
you're in the market for
66
00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:50,153
just step around the corner
into the rue Casanova.
67
00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:53,698
This is where the girls are,
or as we say, the poules.
68
00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:56,493
You have your choice of Kiki the Cossack,
69
00:08:56,577 --> 00:09:00,497
Amazon Annie, Lolita,
Suzette Wong, Mimi the MauMau,
70
00:09:00,998 --> 00:09:03,500
and then, of course, there's Irma la Douce.
71
00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:07,337
She was born right here in Les Halles
in a truck behind the fish market.
72
00:09:07,421 --> 00:09:11,967
Like all the other poules, she takes her
coffee break in a bistro across the street.
73
00:09:13,135 --> 00:09:16,513
This is the owner.
He is known as "Moustache."
74
00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:18,306
According to the police records
75
00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:21,893
he is a Romanian chicken thief
named Constantinescu.
76
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:25,105
When he bought this place,
it was already called "Chez Moustache."
77
00:09:25,189 --> 00:09:29,401
Naturally, it was cheaper to grow
a moustache than to buy a new sign.
78
00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:34,531
Sometimes at dawn, the rich slummers
drop in for a bowl of onion soup,
79
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:39,452
but mostly the clientele
consists of the poules and their mecs.
80
00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:44,291
You know what a mec is.
How do you say it in English?
81
00:09:44,458 --> 00:09:46,543
A protector? A consort?
82
00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:48,378
A business manager.
83
00:09:48,462 --> 00:09:51,172
Well, stick around. You'll get the idea.
84
00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:01,516
How are we doing?
85
00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:02,809
Not bad.
86
00:10:04,395 --> 00:10:08,064
Mostly tips.
I had some real pigeons tonight.
87
00:10:08,232 --> 00:10:10,150
Sometimes I wish you were twins.
88
00:10:10,359 --> 00:10:11,568
Thanks.
89
00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:13,111
What's that?
90
00:10:13,237 --> 00:10:15,071
What's what? Oh, that.
91
00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:18,450
The last one had no more money,
so he gave me a traveler's check.
92
00:10:18,534 --> 00:10:22,120
- Is that nice, Irma, holding out on me?
- It's only $10.
93
00:10:22,246 --> 00:10:24,414
And you weren't going to tell me about it?
94
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:27,709
I was going to put it down as a deposit
on a hair dryer.
95
00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:30,670
A hair dryer? We're partners, Irma!
96
00:10:30,921 --> 00:10:33,131
- You wouldn't want to cheat me.
- Let go.
97
00:10:33,215 --> 00:10:37,218
- There's such a thing as ethics, you know.
- You're hurting me, you big ox!
98
00:10:37,261 --> 00:10:41,139
If you don't like the way I treat you,
why don't you get yourself another guy?
99
00:10:41,223 --> 00:10:45,268
- I will, one of these days.
- Why wait? Why don't you leave me now?
100
00:10:45,936 --> 00:10:47,437
I'd take her anytime.
101
00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:49,814
You would?
102
00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:54,110
- It was just a joke, Hippolyte.
- A joke?
103
00:10:54,737 --> 00:10:56,946
So how come nobody's laughing?
104
00:11:08,834 --> 00:11:10,377
Go back to work.
105
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:12,545
Ox!
106
00:11:19,053 --> 00:11:22,097
And so it was one big
happy family around here.
107
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:25,141
The mecs, the poules, and the flics,
108
00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:27,769
or as you would say, the cops.
109
00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:47,872
Your statesmen and politicians
keep talking about peaceful coexistence,
110
00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:50,917
but here in our milieu,
we really practice it.
111
00:11:51,585 --> 00:11:54,671
The attitude of the police
is "live and let live"
112
00:11:55,589 --> 00:11:58,717
and some of them make
a pretty good living at it.
113
00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:06,099
Every other Friday
the flics would raid the rue Casanova.
114
00:12:06,183 --> 00:12:09,519
Just for the record, a few poules
would be hauled to the station.
115
00:12:09,645 --> 00:12:11,020
They'd pay a small fine
116
00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:14,441
and 24 hours later,
they'd be back on the street.
117
00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:19,028
It was a nice, friendly,
civilized arrangement.
118
00:12:19,196 --> 00:12:22,657
Everybody looked the other way.
Everybody kept his mouth shut.
119
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:24,159
Nobody got hurt
120
00:12:24,785 --> 00:12:27,036
except maybe an occasional fly.
121
00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:31,207
And then one day, disaster.
122
00:12:31,542 --> 00:12:34,335
An honest policeman came on the beat.
123
00:14:17,648 --> 00:14:19,816
Coquette. Come here, Coquette.
124
00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:21,985
You naughty girl!
125
00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:24,362
Pardon me, mademoiselle.
Do you have a license?
126
00:14:24,446 --> 00:14:25,947
A license? No.
127
00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:28,324
That's a violation of Ordinance Number 56.
128
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:31,786
- Usually they let us get away with it.
- Not me.
129
00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:34,998
And, according to the law,
you're supposed to keep it on a leash.
130
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:36,666
On a leash?
131
00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:41,296
Of course. I'll remember that.
132
00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:43,590
Just a moment.
133
00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:48,511
What are all you girls doing around here
at this hour of the morning?
134
00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:51,514
I don't know about them.
I'm just walking my dog.
135
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:54,517
- I see.
- I have to take her out all the time.
136
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:57,145
- She has kidney stones.
- It's a shame.
137
00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:01,941
Look, if you don't mind my saying so...
138
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,947
I'm sorry.
139
00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:12,869
You know, I've never seen a girl
in green stockings before.
140
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,330
It matches the ribbon and my underwear.
141
00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:16,915
Green underwear?
142
00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:20,543
Say, are you new around here?
143
00:15:20,628 --> 00:15:23,338
- It's my first day.
- I thought so.
144
00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:25,256
I've been on the force for six months.
145
00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:29,135
I was stationed at the Bois de Boulogne
by the lake where the children play.
146
00:15:29,219 --> 00:15:32,388
- That's how I got this medal.
- What, for keeping kids off the grass?
147
00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:35,558
No. I saved a boy from drowning,
mouth-to-mouth respiration.
148
00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:38,227
So they thought I was ready
for bigger things and transferred me here.
149
00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:43,107
- You're going to like it here.
- I'm not so sure.
150
00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:49,572
You know, if I were you,
I'd exercise that dog somewhere else.
151
00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:50,740
Why?
152
00:15:50,824 --> 00:15:55,578
Those girls over there,
something tells me they're streetwalkers.
153
00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:59,958
- No!
- Yes! I can spot them six blocks away.
154
00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:05,254
Hey, Irma, I just got off work,
so I thought if you're not busy...
155
00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:06,631
I beg your pardon!
156
00:16:06,715 --> 00:16:10,593
- Irma it's me, André, wholesale artichokes.
- I don't need any.
157
00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:13,888
What's the matter?
Want me to go to Kiki the Cossack?
158
00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:16,099
- Is this man annoying you?
- No. It's all right.
159
00:16:16,183 --> 00:16:18,142
Not now. Come back later.
160
00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:21,020
Later? I've only got a half-hour.
161
00:16:21,939 --> 00:16:25,024
Look, Officer,
there's a truck double-parked there.
162
00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:27,902
- Why don't you do your duty?
- Maybe I will.
163
00:16:28,028 --> 00:16:30,989
- He takes his work seriously.
- I try.
164
00:16:32,157 --> 00:16:35,535
- See you again sometime.
- I wouldn't be surprised.
165
00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:13,740
- What will it be, Officer? Cognac?
- No. I never drink when I'm on duty.
166
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:15,950
Matter of fact,
I never drink when I'm off duty.
167
00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:18,828
Give me just a little glass of Vichy water.
168
00:17:24,334 --> 00:17:26,461
Looking for something, Officer?
169
00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:30,840
What do you know about that hotel?
170
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:34,635
- Casanova slept there in 1763.
- I'm not talking about 1763.
171
00:17:34,678 --> 00:17:36,929
Since I've been here,
four couples walked in there.
172
00:17:37,014 --> 00:17:38,890
Monday is always a slow night.
173
00:17:40,851 --> 00:17:44,979
Just between us, would you have even
a vague idea what they're doing in there?
174
00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:47,899
I have a very definite idea.
They're making love.
175
00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:51,527
- That's illegal!
- Shows you the kind of world we live in.
176
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:54,030
Love is illegal, but not hate.
177
00:17:54,114 --> 00:17:56,616
That you can do anywhere,
anytime, to anybody.
178
00:17:56,825 --> 00:17:58,701
But if you want
a little warmth and tenderness
179
00:17:58,786 --> 00:18:01,287
a shoulder to cry on,
a smile to cuddle up with
180
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:04,707
you have to hide in dark corners
like a criminal!
181
00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:06,584
I wouldn't call that love.
182
00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:09,504
Spoken like a petit bourgeois.
183
00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:12,423
It's flagrant vice! It must be stamped out!
184
00:18:12,841 --> 00:18:15,468
My dear boy,
your thinking is not only fuzzy,
185
00:18:15,552 --> 00:18:19,555
it's economically unsound,
and I know what I'm talking about.
186
00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:22,266
I used to be professor of Economics
at the Sorbonne.
187
00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:25,061
- A professor?
- For six years, but that's another story.
188
00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:28,898
So you should agree that decent citizens
have a right to be protected from this!
189
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,775
Let's take a decent citizen,
190
00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:34,195
married for 20 years,
works hard all day selling baby carriages.
191
00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:37,156
In the evening, he wants a little fun.
A little companionship.
192
00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:39,909
So he comes to rue Casanova.
He meets a girl.
193
00:18:39,993 --> 00:18:42,912
She gives him some companionship.
He gives her some money.
194
00:18:43,038 --> 00:18:44,539
The girl gives the money to her boyfriend
195
00:18:44,581 --> 00:18:48,000
who spends it on drinks,
on cufflinks, at the racetrack.
196
00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:53,005
Sometimes,
he even pays a little money to a policeman.
197
00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:55,967
- Bribe a policeman?
- That's the beauty of it!
198
00:18:56,051 --> 00:18:59,720
The policeman takes the money and buys
a baby carriage from the decent citizen.
199
00:18:59,763 --> 00:19:04,433
Thusly, money is kept in circulation.
Everybody's prosperous and happy.
200
00:19:04,518 --> 00:19:06,602
- I don't believe it!
- It's elementary.
201
00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:09,730
I don't believe
there are policemen who take money.
202
00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:12,150
Not all policemen take money.
203
00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:16,445
Some of the higher-ups have a more
intimate arrangement with the girls.
204
00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:19,824
There's one policeman around here
who isn't corrupt!
205
00:19:29,918 --> 00:19:32,461
Would you know the number
of the police station?
206
00:19:33,463 --> 00:19:35,423
Central 5288.
207
00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:38,092
But I wouldn't be
so impetuous if I were you.
208
00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:39,635
Have your Vichy.
209
00:19:49,771 --> 00:19:51,689
Desk Sergeant, this is Officer Patou.
210
00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:54,901
I want a police van sent immediately
to the Hotel Casanova.
211
00:19:54,985 --> 00:19:57,653
Violation of Section 34
of the Criminal Code.
212
00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:00,489
Not "Littering the Sidewalks."
That's Section 43.
213
00:20:00,574 --> 00:20:02,408
This is "Lewd and Immoral Conduct."
214
00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:04,535
There goes another couple!
I'm gonna raid the place.
215
00:20:10,459 --> 00:20:12,460
You're asking for trouble, my young friend.
216
00:20:12,502 --> 00:20:16,672
To be overly honest in a dishonest world
is like plucking a chicken against the wind.
217
00:20:16,757 --> 00:20:19,842
You'll only wind up with
a mouthful of feathers.
218
00:20:20,385 --> 00:20:23,304
Don't worry, old man.
I know what I'm doing.
219
00:20:43,533 --> 00:20:45,368
Do you have a fire alarm here?
220
00:20:45,786 --> 00:20:47,620
Yes!
221
00:20:47,704 --> 00:20:51,749
It's right over there.
Yes, Officer. It's in perfect working order.
222
00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:57,755
Where is the fire?
223
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,467
Right here.
224
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,721
That's hot! God, that's...
225
00:21:07,474 --> 00:21:09,141
No, doggy, don't.
226
00:21:09,893 --> 00:21:11,686
You're under arrest.
227
00:21:17,693 --> 00:21:22,071
All right, everybody! The party's over!
228
00:21:22,197 --> 00:21:24,156
Girls on this side. Men over here.
229
00:21:24,241 --> 00:21:26,409
- What is this?
- A raid!
230
00:21:26,451 --> 00:21:29,078
On a Monday?
It's supposed to be every other Friday.
231
00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:31,747
- Can I go back up and get my stockings?
- No. Come on.
232
00:21:31,873 --> 00:21:34,041
You ought to pay me half.
It wasn't my fault!
233
00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:37,712
I don't know what she's talking about.
I'm a salesman. I was unpacking samples.
234
00:21:37,754 --> 00:21:39,088
Come on.
235
00:21:39,923 --> 00:21:41,007
Over.
236
00:21:43,385 --> 00:21:46,971
You ought to be ashamed of yourself,
scaring a poor little dog like that.
237
00:21:47,055 --> 00:21:51,225
They ought to take the dog away from you.
You're not a fit mother.
238
00:21:51,768 --> 00:21:52,810
Quiet! Quiet!
239
00:21:54,021 --> 00:21:56,314
I'll let you men go.
We'll need you later as witnesses.
240
00:21:56,398 --> 00:21:59,108
- Name?
- Jack Casanova.
241
00:22:00,193 --> 00:22:02,570
- What's yours?
- André Casanova.
242
00:22:03,238 --> 00:22:07,033
- I suppose you're Pierre Casanova.
- No. I'm General Lafayette.
243
00:22:07,617 --> 00:22:08,868
Retired.
244
00:22:08,952 --> 00:22:10,786
All right, let's start all over again.
245
00:22:10,829 --> 00:22:13,164
- And what's your name?
- I'm Officer Nestor...
246
00:22:13,248 --> 00:22:15,750
Just a moment.
Who's doing the investigating here?
247
00:22:15,792 --> 00:22:18,544
This is an outrage.
I'll see that you lose your job.
248
00:22:18,628 --> 00:22:20,796
- Shut up.
- Do you know who you're talking to?
249
00:22:20,881 --> 00:22:22,965
Trying to bribe an officer?
250
00:22:31,433 --> 00:22:32,808
Back! Everybody back!
251
00:22:33,101 --> 00:22:35,978
Okay, ladies, let's go. Come on!
252
00:22:36,897 --> 00:22:38,439
- In we go.
- Not so rough!
253
00:22:38,482 --> 00:22:39,982
Come on. Up. Up!
254
00:22:40,025 --> 00:22:41,734
- Watch that baton!
- Come on. Up!
255
00:22:41,818 --> 00:22:44,487
- Don't handle the merchandise!
- In you get.
256
00:22:44,571 --> 00:22:45,738
Take it easy!
257
00:22:45,822 --> 00:22:48,616
Come on. Let's go. Let's go. Come on.
258
00:22:48,950 --> 00:22:50,368
Here we go. Let's go.
259
00:22:50,452 --> 00:22:52,286
Here we go. Just a minute.
260
00:22:52,454 --> 00:22:56,123
- No smoking in a police van.
- Just who do you think you are, De Gaulle?
261
00:22:56,166 --> 00:22:57,666
Inside. Come on.
262
00:22:58,001 --> 00:23:01,337
What do they expect us to do now?
Collect unemployment insurance?
263
00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:03,255
It's that new flic.
264
00:23:03,465 --> 00:23:07,760
One of these days, I'm going to catch him
out of uniform and then...
265
00:23:08,387 --> 00:23:09,970
Up, up, up. Let's go.
266
00:23:12,808 --> 00:23:15,226
- Who does this belong to?
- Not me.
267
00:23:46,466 --> 00:23:48,759
Officer, would you zip my dress up?
268
00:23:50,929 --> 00:23:53,139
Will you hold this, please?
269
00:24:04,568 --> 00:24:05,568
Hey!
270
00:24:24,254 --> 00:24:27,590
Say, Officer, do you really have to
take us to the station?
271
00:24:27,674 --> 00:24:30,801
The last time we were arrested,
we drove right on to Deauville.
272
00:24:30,886 --> 00:24:33,429
What a weekend.
Eighteen girls and three policemen.
273
00:24:33,472 --> 00:24:36,098
And they weren't nearly as cute as you are.
274
00:24:40,312 --> 00:24:43,647
- Wouldn't you like to have a harem?
- We'll make you feel like a king.
275
00:24:43,732 --> 00:24:44,815
King Farouk.
276
00:24:46,818 --> 00:24:48,694
Look! He's blushing!
277
00:24:49,946 --> 00:24:51,447
I guess he's too young.
278
00:24:51,490 --> 00:24:54,283
Maybe if we put a moustache on him,
he'd look older!
279
00:24:56,495 --> 00:24:58,287
All right. All right!
280
00:24:58,705 --> 00:25:01,957
One false move out of any one of you,
I'm gonna let you have it!
281
00:25:04,211 --> 00:25:06,795
That's enough, girls! Leave him alone!
282
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:09,173
- He can take care of himself.
- No, he can't.
283
00:25:09,257 --> 00:25:12,468
You know what he was doing before?
Policing a children's playground.
284
00:25:13,512 --> 00:25:16,347
"Now, now, kids, stay out of the bushes."
285
00:25:16,473 --> 00:25:18,307
"Don't take candy from strangers."
286
00:25:18,391 --> 00:25:20,392
"And no playing doctor."
287
00:25:21,561 --> 00:25:25,397
"Little birdie, pretty little birdie
288
00:25:25,482 --> 00:25:28,651
"Little birdie, fly away with me
289
00:25:28,944 --> 00:25:30,945
"We will build a little nest
290
00:25:31,029 --> 00:25:32,696
"We will build a little nest
291
00:25:32,781 --> 00:25:34,782
- "Get the best
- "Get the best
292
00:25:34,824 --> 00:25:36,617
- "In my nest
- "In my nest
293
00:25:36,701 --> 00:25:38,536
"Little blue jay..."
294
00:26:00,141 --> 00:26:01,475
Come on, get down.
295
00:26:07,774 --> 00:26:09,233
Stop it!
296
00:26:10,235 --> 00:26:11,652
Everybody!
297
00:26:13,697 --> 00:26:14,697
Come on.
298
00:26:18,535 --> 00:26:19,660
Here, you dropped this.
299
00:26:19,703 --> 00:26:22,454
Thanks. You seem to be
the only nice one in the bunch.
300
00:26:22,581 --> 00:26:25,541
- They were just pulling your leg.
- And it almost came off.
301
00:26:25,625 --> 00:26:30,087
- Sorry I have to put you in jail.
- I don't mind. I can use a little rest.
302
00:26:42,267 --> 00:26:46,270
Officer Nestor Patou checking in
16 females suspected of lewd vagrancy.
303
00:26:47,147 --> 00:26:50,816
- And one poodle.
- How many? 16?
304
00:26:50,900 --> 00:26:53,944
Yes, Sergeant. Monday's always slow,
but I'll do better next time.
305
00:26:54,029 --> 00:26:56,071
- You will?
- Definitely.
306
00:27:00,785 --> 00:27:01,952
Hello.
307
00:27:08,627 --> 00:27:12,671
About the little one, don't worry,
we'll feed her around here.
308
00:27:12,756 --> 00:27:15,507
Thank you, but not the horse meat
you give the police dogs.
309
00:27:15,592 --> 00:27:18,636
- She's got kidney stones, remember.
- Patou.
310
00:27:19,679 --> 00:27:21,388
The inspector wants to see you.
311
00:27:21,473 --> 00:27:23,098
The inspector, did you hear that?
312
00:27:23,183 --> 00:27:26,602
- The inspector wants to see me.
- Maybe they'll give you another medal.
313
00:27:26,686 --> 00:27:29,229
Do you think so? Not on my first day.
314
00:27:29,272 --> 00:27:30,564
In there!
315
00:27:36,029 --> 00:27:37,279
Come in!
316
00:27:43,953 --> 00:27:46,914
Officer Patou reporting.
You sent for me, sir.
317
00:27:46,956 --> 00:27:49,291
- So you're the new man in our outfit.
- Yes, sir.
318
00:27:49,334 --> 00:27:51,210
I've been wondering what you looked like.
319
00:27:51,461 --> 00:27:53,420
- You've seen me before.
- I have?
320
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:55,923
Don't you remember,
at the Hotel Casanova?
321
00:27:55,965 --> 00:27:58,133
What was I doing at the Hotel Casanova?
322
00:27:58,385 --> 00:28:00,969
- I don't know, but I was raiding the place.
- You were?
323
00:28:01,012 --> 00:28:04,556
- Who authorized the raid?
- I was using my own judgment, sir.
324
00:28:04,641 --> 00:28:07,226
It was obvious. A violation of Section 34.
325
00:28:07,310 --> 00:28:10,312
I'm sure we can get a conviction
with you as a witness.
326
00:28:10,355 --> 00:28:12,815
And look at your uniform! It's disgraceful!
327
00:28:12,857 --> 00:28:16,902
There were 16 of them in the van,
and they were resisting arrest, sir.
328
00:28:16,986 --> 00:28:18,612
And I was resisting, too.
329
00:28:18,655 --> 00:28:21,949
I didn't lose my head, just my gun,
but I got it back.
330
00:28:22,117 --> 00:28:24,326
Take off your cap
when talking to your superior!
331
00:28:24,411 --> 00:28:25,411
Yes, sir.
332
00:28:48,518 --> 00:28:49,893
Cheri.
333
00:28:50,186 --> 00:28:52,896
You ought to get out of those wet clothes.
334
00:28:52,981 --> 00:28:54,398
I'll help you.
335
00:28:55,859 --> 00:28:57,443
Look who's here.
336
00:28:58,027 --> 00:29:00,863
"Little birdie, pretty little birdie
337
00:29:01,156 --> 00:29:04,032
"Little birdie, fly away with me"
338
00:29:10,331 --> 00:29:12,207
A glass of Vichy, right?
339
00:29:12,375 --> 00:29:17,171
Cognac, please, to get the taste of feathers
out of my mouth.
340
00:29:17,213 --> 00:29:21,091
"Little birdie pretty little birdie
341
00:29:21,259 --> 00:29:24,720
"Little birdie, fly away with me"
342
00:29:24,888 --> 00:29:26,722
You off duty?
343
00:29:26,890 --> 00:29:28,056
Permanently.
344
00:29:28,850 --> 00:29:32,603
- I've been bounced from the police force.
- You don't say.
345
00:29:32,687 --> 00:29:35,814
They had the goods on me:
insubordination, accepting bribes
346
00:29:35,899 --> 00:29:39,276
and a button missing from my uniform,
so they took away my medal!
347
00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:41,069
Threw me out of the barracks.
348
00:29:41,613 --> 00:29:44,198
Reminds me of when I was
drummed out of the army.
349
00:29:44,324 --> 00:29:47,826
Marrakesh.
I was a colonel in the Foreign Legion.
350
00:29:48,870 --> 00:29:51,747
Was that before or after
you were a professor of Economics?
351
00:29:51,790 --> 00:29:56,251
No. In between, I was a croupier
in Monte Carlo, but that's another story.
352
00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:58,253
One more.
353
00:29:58,963 --> 00:30:00,798
So what's your next move?
354
00:30:01,341 --> 00:30:04,510
I've been looking for a job.
I applied to all the bureaux.
355
00:30:04,594 --> 00:30:07,221
Customs inspection,
post office, sanitation department.
356
00:30:07,263 --> 00:30:08,931
Once you've been
dishonorably discharged
357
00:30:09,015 --> 00:30:11,016
they won't even let you clean the sewers.
358
00:30:12,143 --> 00:30:15,604
I hate to see a young man like you
take a defeatist attitude.
359
00:30:15,688 --> 00:30:17,898
The world is full of opportunities.
360
00:30:18,274 --> 00:30:19,900
Just look around.
361
00:30:21,110 --> 00:30:23,153
There's One-Armed Jojo.
362
00:30:23,404 --> 00:30:25,030
Used to be a safecracker,
363
00:30:25,114 --> 00:30:28,283
until he put a little too much
nitroglycerin in the vault.
364
00:30:28,743 --> 00:30:31,161
And that's Casablanca Charlie.
365
00:30:31,579 --> 00:30:34,081
Five years ago,
he walked in with holes in his shoes
366
00:30:34,123 --> 00:30:36,166
and a pocketful of dirty postcards.
367
00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:38,877
Or take Hippolyte the Ox.
368
00:30:38,962 --> 00:30:41,463
Used to be a purse-snatcher
around the market.
369
00:30:41,923 --> 00:30:43,799
They all started at the bottom
370
00:30:44,092 --> 00:30:47,970
but they had perseverance
and drive and vision.
371
00:30:48,638 --> 00:30:50,305
Now they've got it made.
372
00:30:50,557 --> 00:30:52,140
They're retired.
373
00:30:52,308 --> 00:30:53,976
They let their girls work for them.
374
00:30:55,311 --> 00:30:57,980
I'm afraid I wasn't cut out
for a life of crime.
375
00:30:58,022 --> 00:31:00,524
There you go, selling yourself short.
376
00:31:00,942 --> 00:31:04,903
Maybe I could snatch a purse
or crack a small safe
377
00:31:04,988 --> 00:31:08,490
but to sit around in a striped suit
while some girl in the street...
378
00:31:08,616 --> 00:31:12,160
- Never!
- You're being petit bourgeois again.
379
00:31:12,745 --> 00:31:14,872
Life is total war, my friend.
380
00:31:15,123 --> 00:31:18,125
Nobody has the right
to be a conscientious objector.
381
00:31:24,424 --> 00:31:26,884
- Cigarettes.
- Pack of Gitanes, coming up.
382
00:31:26,968 --> 00:31:29,136
- Hello.
- Hello.
383
00:31:29,721 --> 00:31:31,221
Nasty night, isn't it?
384
00:31:31,514 --> 00:31:35,601
It never fails. Wouldn't you know,
just this afternoon I gave her a permanent.
385
00:31:35,727 --> 00:31:40,522
- Put them on my bill.
- Can I buy you a cheap drink?
386
00:31:41,649 --> 00:31:42,858
Why not?
387
00:31:43,776 --> 00:31:46,653
- Can you afford a peppermint tea?
- Certainly.
388
00:31:46,696 --> 00:31:48,864
One peppermint tea, coming up.
389
00:31:50,033 --> 00:31:51,742
Here we are again.
390
00:31:52,076 --> 00:31:54,494
Again? Have we been together before?
391
00:31:54,913 --> 00:31:57,581
I guess you don't recognize me
out of uniform.
392
00:31:58,917 --> 00:32:01,793
Uniform? Oh, about a month ago.
393
00:32:01,878 --> 00:32:05,589
You're that sailor with
Brigitte Bardot tattooed on your chest?
394
00:32:05,673 --> 00:32:08,884
No. It was just this morning.
I arrested you.
395
00:32:09,594 --> 00:32:11,553
Of course.
396
00:32:11,888 --> 00:32:14,389
I'm sorry. I never remember a face.
397
00:32:16,559 --> 00:32:18,560
How long did they keep you
in the police station?
398
00:32:18,603 --> 00:32:22,272
- About an hour.
- I was out much faster than that.
399
00:32:24,442 --> 00:32:26,234
- Sugar?
- Thanks.
400
00:32:26,277 --> 00:32:28,820
Say, that hotel.
Tell me, what are the rates?
401
00:32:28,905 --> 00:32:31,365
- Why?
- I'm looking for a room.
402
00:32:31,407 --> 00:32:33,992
They charge by the hour.
Nobody can afford to live there.
403
00:32:34,077 --> 00:32:36,411
Besides,
they don't take anybody with luggage.
404
00:32:38,581 --> 00:32:40,040
Irma!
405
00:32:49,676 --> 00:32:51,176
Let's have it.
406
00:32:54,097 --> 00:32:55,514
Is that all?
407
00:32:55,598 --> 00:32:57,766
It's the weather.
Nothing's happening out there.
408
00:32:57,809 --> 00:33:01,436
- Get out and make it happen.
- You mind if I dry off first?
409
00:33:01,479 --> 00:33:04,272
On your way.
I haven't won a hand all evening.
410
00:33:17,286 --> 00:33:19,246
When I walked a beat on a night like this
411
00:33:19,288 --> 00:33:21,790
I'd wear two pairs of wool socks.
You should try it.
412
00:33:21,874 --> 00:33:24,584
- How about long underwear?
- By all means.
413
00:33:24,627 --> 00:33:28,797
Also, I used to put an old newspaper
inside my coat to keep my chest warm.
414
00:33:28,923 --> 00:33:32,092
Look, mister,
I'm in a very competitive business.
415
00:33:32,135 --> 00:33:36,972
You have one advantage. At least you
get indoors and off your feet occasionally.
416
00:33:37,056 --> 00:33:39,808
- I'm sorry.
- Forget it.
417
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:43,687
You really ought to cut down on it.
I mean, one after another!
418
00:33:43,771 --> 00:33:47,733
- Mind your own business.
- You want to smoke yourself to death...
419
00:33:48,818 --> 00:33:51,069
I've met guys asking me
to do a lot of crazy things
420
00:33:51,154 --> 00:33:52,612
but not to give up smoking.
421
00:33:52,655 --> 00:33:56,074
I don't mean to get personal,
it's just that I like you.
422
00:33:56,159 --> 00:33:58,952
When I was living in Dijon,
there was a girl that I loved...
423
00:33:58,995 --> 00:34:00,078
And I remind you of her.
424
00:34:00,163 --> 00:34:02,372
Actually, you don't look anything like her.
425
00:34:02,498 --> 00:34:05,167
But she was a heavy smoker,
60 cigarettes a day.
426
00:34:05,251 --> 00:34:07,836
Coughing all the time.
427
00:34:10,256 --> 00:34:12,632
What are you hanging around for?
I said out!
428
00:34:12,675 --> 00:34:13,884
Please, you're interrupting.
429
00:34:13,968 --> 00:34:16,511
All right, all right. We were just talking.
430
00:34:16,596 --> 00:34:17,637
About smoking.
431
00:34:17,680 --> 00:34:19,765
Talk on your own time,
not during working hours.
432
00:34:19,849 --> 00:34:23,018
I would strongly advise you
to let go of the lady.
433
00:34:23,853 --> 00:34:26,188
- It's you.
- I'll give you exactly five seconds.
434
00:34:26,272 --> 00:34:32,194
One, two, three, four, five.
435
00:34:32,695 --> 00:34:34,196
That's better.
436
00:34:50,463 --> 00:34:51,713
Outside.
437
00:34:53,091 --> 00:34:56,635
And don't come back with any excuses.
I need 100 francs.
438
00:35:06,729 --> 00:35:09,523
Watch it. This is a new hat.
439
00:35:09,732 --> 00:35:11,233
Had enough?
440
00:35:43,683 --> 00:35:45,433
Now I'm mad.
441
00:35:46,727 --> 00:35:51,565
Now I am really mad,
and when I get mad, I'm like a tiger!
442
00:35:51,899 --> 00:35:54,276
Do you hear that, boys? He's a tiger.
443
00:36:19,969 --> 00:36:21,678
Girls! A fight!
444
00:37:55,856 --> 00:37:57,190
All right.
445
00:37:57,733 --> 00:37:59,109
Who's next?
446
00:38:25,177 --> 00:38:26,386
Cognac.
447
00:38:33,144 --> 00:38:36,896
- Care for another peppermint tea?
- No, thank you.
448
00:38:38,566 --> 00:38:40,567
Put everything on my bill.
449
00:38:41,861 --> 00:38:43,278
Shall we go?
450
00:38:43,779 --> 00:38:45,405
We might as well.
451
00:38:46,365 --> 00:38:48,533
I'm getting bored with this place.
452
00:39:24,195 --> 00:39:25,570
Where are we going?
453
00:39:25,654 --> 00:39:28,990
- To my apartment.
- I thought you lived in the hotel.
454
00:39:29,408 --> 00:39:31,159
That's my business address.
455
00:39:33,579 --> 00:39:35,413
Come on. You're getting wet.
456
00:39:44,173 --> 00:39:46,549
Don't expect too much
when we get up there.
457
00:39:46,634 --> 00:39:48,009
Not at all.
458
00:39:48,594 --> 00:39:51,805
- I have no rugs, no icebox.
- As long as you have an empty couch.
459
00:39:51,889 --> 00:39:53,181
No couch.
460
00:40:01,023 --> 00:40:02,941
I also have to get curtains.
461
00:40:03,317 --> 00:40:07,779
You see, they're working across the street
repairing the roof, and I sleep in the nude.
462
00:40:07,863 --> 00:40:12,575
It's about time they started fixing up...
You mean you don't wear anything?
463
00:40:12,827 --> 00:40:14,869
Nothing but a sleeping mask.
464
00:40:17,665 --> 00:40:22,001
That's all right, then, because the workmen
wouldn't recognize you anyway.
465
00:40:24,547 --> 00:40:26,840
You know what I've got?
An electric blanket.
466
00:40:26,882 --> 00:40:27,924
You do?
467
00:40:28,008 --> 00:40:31,219
It was a present from somebody
with the American Embassy.
468
00:40:31,637 --> 00:40:35,140
That must be nice,
an electric blanket on a night like this.
469
00:40:35,224 --> 00:40:36,808
Only it doesn't work.
470
00:40:37,059 --> 00:40:39,185
They've got a different kind
of electricity there.
471
00:40:39,228 --> 00:40:41,980
- AC or DC or something.
- That's too bad.
472
00:40:42,231 --> 00:40:44,441
Don't worry. You won't be cold.
473
00:40:51,574 --> 00:40:53,074
I'm not worried.
474
00:40:59,832 --> 00:41:02,834
It's very attractive. It has atmosphere.
475
00:41:03,043 --> 00:41:06,171
It used to be a studio.
A painter once lived here.
476
00:41:06,255 --> 00:41:10,258
Poor guy, he was starving.
Tried everything, even cut his ear off.
477
00:41:10,468 --> 00:41:14,095
- Van Gogh?
- No. I think his name was Schwartz.
478
00:41:14,805 --> 00:41:17,390
Would you believe it? I'm an artist myself.
479
00:41:17,516 --> 00:41:18,975
I believe it.
480
00:41:19,393 --> 00:41:20,852
See this bed?
481
00:41:21,270 --> 00:41:22,312
Yes.
482
00:41:23,772 --> 00:41:24,856
I painted it.
483
00:41:29,153 --> 00:41:30,653
Very good job.
484
00:41:30,779 --> 00:41:34,407
It looked just awful
when I found it at the flea market.
485
00:41:47,046 --> 00:41:48,838
Can I borrow a newspaper?
486
00:41:49,131 --> 00:41:50,590
You want to read?
487
00:41:50,966 --> 00:41:52,342
No, of course not.
488
00:41:53,010 --> 00:41:54,969
Can I take your stockings off?
489
00:41:57,681 --> 00:41:59,265
Sure. Go ahead.
490
00:42:36,679 --> 00:42:38,513
You really are shy, aren't you?
491
00:42:39,181 --> 00:42:40,682
Me? Shy?
492
00:42:41,892 --> 00:42:46,646
Not particularly.
It's just the kind of world we live in.
493
00:42:46,689 --> 00:42:50,858
What I mean is, if you hate somebody,
you can do that anytime, anyplace.
494
00:42:50,943 --> 00:42:55,738
But if you like somebody,
you've got to hide in dark corners.
495
00:42:58,367 --> 00:43:02,579
You know, I'm sort of glad
about that girl in Dijon with the cough.
496
00:43:02,705 --> 00:43:03,705
You are?
497
00:43:03,872 --> 00:43:08,751
Because, frankly, in the police van,
I thought that you'd never in your life...
498
00:43:09,378 --> 00:43:11,879
She wasn't the only girl.
499
00:43:11,922 --> 00:43:14,048
I've had more than one girl.
500
00:43:15,050 --> 00:43:16,342
How many?
501
00:43:16,885 --> 00:43:18,177
Altogether?
502
00:43:18,554 --> 00:43:19,762
Let me see...
503
00:43:21,015 --> 00:43:22,181
Three?
504
00:43:22,349 --> 00:43:24,017
Not as many as that.
505
00:43:45,414 --> 00:43:46,539
What's your name?
506
00:43:49,209 --> 00:43:51,586
Nestor. Nestor Patou.
507
00:43:52,004 --> 00:43:54,380
Don't take all night, Nestor Patou.
508
00:43:56,467 --> 00:43:57,717
I won't.
509
00:45:26,682 --> 00:45:29,016
Didn't you say you had a sleeping mask?
510
00:45:30,477 --> 00:45:32,186
You're really something.
511
00:46:12,311 --> 00:46:14,270
What's going on? What are you doing?
512
00:46:45,385 --> 00:46:46,427
Irma!
513
00:46:49,181 --> 00:46:50,181
Irma!
514
00:46:55,604 --> 00:46:56,604
Irma!
515
00:47:05,697 --> 00:47:07,073
Irma!
516
00:47:15,791 --> 00:47:17,041
Irma!
517
00:47:17,793 --> 00:47:18,960
Irma.
518
00:47:21,255 --> 00:47:23,005
Where are you, Irma?
519
00:47:23,549 --> 00:47:26,551
Where are you, Irma?
520
00:47:44,361 --> 00:47:46,487
What are you doing way over there?
521
00:47:48,949 --> 00:47:50,992
It's 4:00 in the afternoon.
522
00:47:51,577 --> 00:47:52,827
Come back.
523
00:47:53,161 --> 00:47:54,245
What's gotten into you?
524
00:47:54,329 --> 00:47:56,747
I don't know.
I guess I've become an addict.
525
00:47:56,999 --> 00:47:58,124
Irma!
526
00:48:06,091 --> 00:48:08,968
- What do you want?
- I want to talk to you.
527
00:48:09,678 --> 00:48:11,345
You go to hell!
528
00:48:11,847 --> 00:48:13,764
I'm coming up to get my clothes.
529
00:48:14,308 --> 00:48:15,808
Just a minute.
530
00:48:17,227 --> 00:48:19,353
Who is it? That big ox again?
531
00:48:31,909 --> 00:48:34,243
Look, if you two have something
personal to discuss...
532
00:48:34,328 --> 00:48:36,287
Just stay right where you are.
533
00:48:39,541 --> 00:48:40,708
Catch.
534
00:48:45,547 --> 00:48:49,926
What about my suits and my silk shirts
and my jewelry?
535
00:48:50,302 --> 00:48:53,721
This is what you came with,
and this is what you're leaving with.
536
00:48:53,805 --> 00:48:55,306
Why, you little...
537
00:48:55,390 --> 00:48:57,767
You're lucky I don't
take back that gold tooth.
538
00:49:00,187 --> 00:49:02,688
I'm going to come up there
and break your arm!
539
00:49:03,607 --> 00:49:05,024
You are?
540
00:49:06,818 --> 00:49:07,985
Tiger.
541
00:49:09,404 --> 00:49:11,113
Come on out, Tiger.
542
00:49:30,509 --> 00:49:33,427
You want my friend here
to beat you up again?
543
00:49:39,142 --> 00:49:41,143
You'll be hearing from me.
544
00:49:45,774 --> 00:49:47,608
And stay away!
545
00:49:54,324 --> 00:49:57,660
- You could beat him up again, right?
- Naturally.
546
00:49:57,828 --> 00:50:01,831
It's just that I don't like to pick on anybody
who isn't my size.
547
00:50:10,966 --> 00:50:14,135
How'd you get mixed up
with a character like that anyway?
548
00:50:14,177 --> 00:50:16,137
You should have seen the one I had before.
549
00:50:16,179 --> 00:50:19,015
He was not only mean,
he used to run around with other women
550
00:50:19,099 --> 00:50:20,433
and on my money.
551
00:50:24,479 --> 00:50:26,439
Why do you have to have anybody at all?
552
00:50:27,482 --> 00:50:31,110
Everybody needs somebody,
like Coquette needs me.
553
00:50:31,570 --> 00:50:33,487
Who wants to be a stray dog?
554
00:50:33,780 --> 00:50:36,490
You've got to belong to someone,
even if he kicks you once in a while.
555
00:50:38,744 --> 00:50:40,494
Don't you have any family?
556
00:50:40,537 --> 00:50:44,081
No. My mother was
a very successful woman.
557
00:50:44,166 --> 00:50:47,001
She used to have the same spot
outside the hotel that I do.
558
00:50:47,085 --> 00:50:50,337
Then one day, she met a guy,
fell in love with him and quit.
559
00:50:52,340 --> 00:50:53,632
That's very romantic.
560
00:50:53,675 --> 00:50:55,342
Romantic? It's stupid.
561
00:50:56,011 --> 00:50:57,845
Gave up her career. For what?
562
00:50:58,013 --> 00:50:59,430
Some slob from the market.
563
00:50:59,514 --> 00:51:02,391
Dragged around those heavy sides of beef
till he dropped dead.
564
00:51:02,476 --> 00:51:04,852
Then it was too late
for Mama to make a comeback.
565
00:51:04,895 --> 00:51:07,855
She wound up
as a cashier in the fish market.
566
00:51:09,107 --> 00:51:12,193
Only smart thing she ever did
was not marry my father.
567
00:51:12,861 --> 00:51:14,570
You mean, you're not,
568
00:51:15,489 --> 00:51:16,697
legitimate?
569
00:51:16,865 --> 00:51:18,115
That's right.
570
00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:22,286
You'd think, with a background like that,
I'd have turned out no good.
571
00:51:23,080 --> 00:51:26,373
I know you're doing very well,
but a girl like you...
572
00:51:26,458 --> 00:51:28,084
There's other kinds of jobs.
573
00:51:28,335 --> 00:51:30,836
This isn't just a job! It's a profession.
574
00:51:31,046 --> 00:51:32,213
Of course.
575
00:51:32,672 --> 00:51:36,133
Somebody has to do these things,
but in your case...
576
00:51:36,218 --> 00:51:39,136
- Now that I know you better...
- I get that all the time.
577
00:51:39,221 --> 00:51:42,389
A man I met the other night
thought I was too good for this.
578
00:51:42,474 --> 00:51:46,352
You know what he does for a living?
He's a mortician! Now, I ask you.
579
00:51:47,104 --> 00:51:50,898
- Ask me what?
- Why is it nine out of ten try to reform me?
580
00:51:51,441 --> 00:51:53,692
You're not one of those, are you?
581
00:51:53,819 --> 00:51:56,237
Who, me? No.
582
00:51:56,571 --> 00:51:58,322
I used to be one of those...
583
00:51:59,324 --> 00:52:02,034
...petit bourgeois, but that was yesterday.
584
00:52:02,077 --> 00:52:03,744
I know better now.
585
00:52:12,254 --> 00:52:14,171
I don't think she cares for me.
586
00:52:15,799 --> 00:52:17,716
You two better make friends
if you're to live here.
587
00:52:17,759 --> 00:52:19,969
We'd better... Live here?
588
00:52:20,345 --> 00:52:22,263
Why? Don't you like the idea?
589
00:52:22,347 --> 00:52:26,392
Sure, I like the idea.
It's just that I had no idea.
590
00:52:26,935 --> 00:52:31,438
- Is this all you've got?
- Just my old uniform and my toilet kit.
591
00:52:33,608 --> 00:52:36,152
Try one of those suits in the closet.
592
00:52:36,570 --> 00:52:37,778
Go ahead.
593
00:52:46,621 --> 00:52:49,415
Let's see how you look
in the brown one with the pinstripes.
594
00:52:49,624 --> 00:52:51,333
He hardly ever wore it.
595
00:52:51,585 --> 00:52:53,627
Said it was too conservative.
596
00:53:03,847 --> 00:53:07,975
- I'm afraid the sleeves may be a little...
- Don't worry about that.
597
00:53:08,018 --> 00:53:10,769
There's a brown derby that goes with it.
598
00:53:22,991 --> 00:53:26,702
- What are the glasses for?
- The races.
599
00:53:27,370 --> 00:53:29,121
They look very powerful.
600
00:53:30,665 --> 00:53:31,665
Whoops.
601
00:53:31,750 --> 00:53:34,126
- What's the matter?
- Wrong end.
602
00:53:35,086 --> 00:53:38,422
- You want me to turn around?
- No. I mean the glasses.
603
00:53:41,218 --> 00:53:43,636
I'll bet nobody ever
saw you like this before.
604
00:53:44,346 --> 00:53:47,431
- You'd lose.
- Through field glasses?
605
00:53:48,058 --> 00:53:49,350
No bet.
606
00:53:51,186 --> 00:53:54,939
When I first met you, I thought
you were pretty. I was totally wrong.
607
00:53:55,023 --> 00:53:56,190
You're beautiful.
608
00:53:57,359 --> 00:53:59,109
You're out of your mind or out of focus.
609
00:53:59,277 --> 00:54:01,737
Without makeup,
you look about 14 years old.
610
00:54:02,989 --> 00:54:06,367
I wore makeup when I was 14
so I could pass for 17.
611
00:54:06,409 --> 00:54:09,203
- Then by the time I was 17...
- Never mind.
612
00:54:11,665 --> 00:54:13,707
I don't want to hear about it.
613
00:54:17,045 --> 00:54:18,545
This coat looks ridiculous.
614
00:54:18,630 --> 00:54:21,966
Have it fixed.
Just take it in to Maurice the tailor.
615
00:54:24,261 --> 00:54:27,888
- All right, but I won't wear the hat.
- But you have to.
616
00:54:27,973 --> 00:54:31,058
It all goes together,
the suit, the hat the glasses.
617
00:54:31,101 --> 00:54:32,893
For when you go to the racetrack.
618
00:54:33,270 --> 00:54:35,312
The racetrack?
Who's got time for the racetrack?
619
00:54:35,397 --> 00:54:39,316
- I've got to get myself a job.
- What do you mean, a job?
620
00:54:39,567 --> 00:54:41,986
I'm sure I can find something
around the market.
621
00:54:42,070 --> 00:54:44,780
Unloading trucks, cleaning the stalls...
622
00:54:46,408 --> 00:54:47,950
What's the matter?
623
00:54:54,874 --> 00:54:56,625
Did I say something wrong?
624
00:54:58,628 --> 00:55:00,587
You're trying to make me feel cheap.
625
00:55:00,797 --> 00:55:01,964
Cheap?
626
00:55:02,590 --> 00:55:05,301
How would it look if I let you go to work?
627
00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:09,138
Do you want the other girls
to think I can't support my man?
628
00:55:09,306 --> 00:55:10,306
Irma.
629
00:55:10,390 --> 00:55:13,225
I want you to be better dressed
than anybody else.
630
00:55:13,268 --> 00:55:15,436
I want you to have more money
in your pockets.
631
00:55:15,770 --> 00:55:17,271
I want to be proud of you.
632
00:55:17,314 --> 00:55:20,649
But, Irma, you don't understand.
I never felt like this about anybody.
633
00:55:20,734 --> 00:55:23,110
That's why I'll work twice as hard for you
634
00:55:23,153 --> 00:55:25,612
as I ever did for any of the others.
635
00:55:41,379 --> 00:55:42,713
Your turn.
636
00:55:44,299 --> 00:55:45,674
Tiger.
637
00:55:58,021 --> 00:56:01,648
I don't feel like playing anymore.
Get somebody else.
638
00:56:07,572 --> 00:56:09,156
Give me a drink.
639
00:56:09,240 --> 00:56:11,116
Cognac, Pernod, Calvados?
640
00:56:11,284 --> 00:56:13,327
Yeah, and in that order.
641
00:56:13,995 --> 00:56:16,413
Why don't you shut that damn jukebox off?
642
00:56:16,581 --> 00:56:19,583
Problem? You're sitting pretty
with a gold mine working for you.
643
00:56:19,667 --> 00:56:21,210
Shut yourself off, too.
644
00:56:21,336 --> 00:56:24,546
I'm looking for Irma, with
the green stockings and the bow-wow...
645
00:56:24,672 --> 00:56:26,090
She's not here. Go away.
646
00:56:26,174 --> 00:56:28,509
I've been away. Tangiers, Naples, Cairo.
647
00:56:28,551 --> 00:56:31,720
I've met up with a lot of dames,
but there's nothing like that Irma.
648
00:56:32,847 --> 00:56:34,056
Get out of here.
649
00:56:34,682 --> 00:56:36,767
- What is this?
- I know about you.
650
00:56:36,851 --> 00:56:39,478
You're the one with Brigitte Bardot
tattooed on your chest!
651
00:56:41,523 --> 00:56:43,357
You crazy?
652
00:56:48,905 --> 00:56:53,033
- She must know two sailors.
- That's a hell of a way to treat a customer.
653
00:56:53,076 --> 00:56:55,244
I can't take it.
I'm so jealous, I'm losing my mind.
654
00:56:55,370 --> 00:56:58,080
You must be.
A mec falling in love with his poule.
655
00:56:58,206 --> 00:56:59,331
You're like an impresario.
656
00:56:59,374 --> 00:57:02,918
You're handling Pavlova.
And you want her to dance just for you?
657
00:57:03,044 --> 00:57:07,214
It's a God-given talent.
It was meant to be shared with the public.
658
00:57:08,758 --> 00:57:09,925
Again.
659
00:57:14,305 --> 00:57:17,975
- There's the bow-wow!
- Come on, sailor! Keep rowing!
660
00:57:26,234 --> 00:57:29,445
What a night!
Everybody seems to have the same idea.
661
00:57:29,529 --> 00:57:32,906
Always happens when there's a full moon.
I haven't had time to breathe.
662
00:57:32,949 --> 00:57:35,117
- How's my baby?
- Fine.
663
00:57:35,201 --> 00:57:37,911
No, he isn't.
As a matter of fact, he's very grouchy.
664
00:57:38,163 --> 00:57:41,039
We can fix that.
I have a little present for you.
665
00:57:41,249 --> 00:57:42,499
What is it?
666
00:57:42,584 --> 00:57:44,126
A stickpin. You put it in your tie.
667
00:57:44,210 --> 00:57:45,878
- I don't need it.
- Yes, you do.
668
00:57:45,920 --> 00:57:49,006
Mimi got Casablanca Charlie one.
This one has real sapphires.
669
00:57:49,090 --> 00:57:50,340
Come on, let's go, Irma.
670
00:57:50,425 --> 00:57:52,009
- Go where?
- Home.
671
00:57:52,093 --> 00:57:54,261
It's only 1:00 a.m. A package of Gitanes.
672
00:57:54,429 --> 00:57:57,723
- You know I never quit before 5:00.
- Take the night off.
673
00:57:57,807 --> 00:58:01,268
Just walk off the job, just like that?
Disappoint all my regulars?
674
00:58:01,311 --> 00:58:03,187
To hell with them!
675
00:58:03,688 --> 00:58:05,898
Why don't we go away somewhere
for a week?
676
00:58:06,274 --> 00:58:08,567
A week? What are we going to live on?
677
00:58:08,610 --> 00:58:10,861
If I stay away that long, I'll lose my spot.
678
00:58:11,404 --> 00:58:14,823
- She's got the best spot on the street.
- We never have time together.
679
00:58:15,033 --> 00:58:17,868
You're out there all night.
You sleep all day.
680
00:58:17,952 --> 00:58:19,953
If only Monsieur Camembert
were still around.
681
00:58:19,996 --> 00:58:21,955
You remember Monsieur Camembert,
don't you?
682
00:58:22,040 --> 00:58:23,665
Do I? Big spender.
683
00:58:23,750 --> 00:58:25,792
Who is Monsieur Camembert?
684
00:58:26,836 --> 00:58:30,797
That's what we called him.
He was a cheese wholesaler at the market.
685
00:58:30,882 --> 00:58:32,341
He used to see me twice a week.
686
00:58:32,425 --> 00:58:36,678
Always gave me 500 francs,
so I didn't have to see anybody else.
687
00:58:36,804 --> 00:58:38,805
I had lots of time then.
688
00:58:38,890 --> 00:58:42,476
I went to cooking school,
I knitted sweaters, played solitaire.
689
00:58:42,519 --> 00:58:44,394
He was such a nice man.
690
00:58:44,812 --> 00:58:46,522
What happened to him?
691
00:58:47,273 --> 00:58:49,525
His wife died,
so he stopped coming around.
692
00:58:49,609 --> 00:58:51,944
It was a great loss to all of us.
693
00:58:52,987 --> 00:58:56,156
Girls! Here comes
another busload of tourists!
694
00:59:02,455 --> 00:59:03,580
Irma...
695
00:59:04,541 --> 00:59:05,874
Stay here.
696
00:59:07,585 --> 00:59:09,044
You're sweet.
697
00:59:09,462 --> 00:59:10,671
Kiss me.
698
00:59:15,176 --> 00:59:17,302
I've been thinking. Maybe you're right.
699
00:59:17,595 --> 00:59:20,264
- I'm going to give it up.
- You are?
700
00:59:20,848 --> 00:59:25,018
I promise you, this is absolutely the last
pack I'll ever smoke.
701
00:59:27,522 --> 00:59:29,606
All right, all right. We're going.
702
00:59:29,691 --> 00:59:31,191
See you later.
703
00:59:34,279 --> 00:59:37,406
Must be German tourists.
Short leather pants.
704
00:59:37,490 --> 00:59:38,699
Shut up!
705
00:59:38,950 --> 00:59:40,576
Tourists! Sailors! Wholesalers!
706
00:59:40,660 --> 00:59:41,952
I'd like to kill them all!
707
00:59:42,036 --> 00:59:44,246
Listen to him. Jack the Ripper.
708
00:59:44,664 --> 00:59:46,039
What am I going to do?
709
00:59:46,249 --> 00:59:48,375
Suppose there was just one man
710
00:59:48,918 --> 00:59:51,044
a rich customer who gave her 500 francs.
711
00:59:51,087 --> 00:59:52,504
Would that make you any happier?
712
00:59:52,547 --> 00:59:55,882
No! Maybe it would
make me less miserable.
713
00:59:55,967 --> 00:59:59,011
How about Monsieur Barnathan,
the goose-liver king?
714
00:59:59,053 --> 01:00:02,389
That nasty old man with the gout?
She wouldn't like it.
715
01:00:02,473 --> 01:00:06,643
Monsieur Lionelli? Owns six restaurants.
Comes every morning to do the marketing.
716
01:00:06,728 --> 01:00:09,813
- I don't know him.
- A tall, dark young man, very good looking.
717
01:00:09,897 --> 01:00:11,565
I wouldn't like it.
718
01:00:14,736 --> 01:00:18,113
What about one of those Englishmen
who drop in here?
719
01:00:19,574 --> 01:00:22,576
You know,
Rolls-Royce, Oxford, Coldstream Guards?
720
01:00:22,744 --> 01:00:25,412
- They're harmless enough.
- You don't understand.
721
01:00:25,455 --> 01:00:28,915
I don't want anybody to make love to her
except me.
722
01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:30,917
Sentimental slob.
723
01:00:36,674 --> 01:00:38,675
I say there, old chap, l'addition.
724
01:00:38,885 --> 01:00:41,595
Two onion soups, a bottle of wine.
15 francs.
725
01:00:41,638 --> 01:00:43,513
Capital onion soup! Capital!
726
01:00:43,598 --> 01:00:46,224
Pity we don't have rubber pockets.
727
01:00:46,267 --> 01:00:48,602
We could smuggle some back to London.
728
01:00:55,276 --> 01:00:56,693
An Englishman?
729
01:00:58,279 --> 01:01:00,489
Maybe that wouldn't be such a bad idea.
730
01:01:00,782 --> 01:01:03,617
- It's worth a try. I say there...
- No, no.
731
01:01:04,410 --> 01:01:06,953
Listen, Moustache,
would you lend me 500 francs?
732
01:01:07,038 --> 01:01:09,289
- What for?
- The perfect solution!
733
01:01:09,332 --> 01:01:11,667
You'll give me the money,
I'll give it to Irma
734
01:01:11,751 --> 01:01:14,419
she'll give it to me,
and I'll give it back to you!
735
01:01:14,462 --> 01:01:15,587
It's very simple, really.
736
01:01:15,630 --> 01:01:17,839
- What are you talking about?
- Don't you see?
737
01:01:17,924 --> 01:01:20,926
Irma's going to have a rich lover,
and it will be me!
738
01:01:22,053 --> 01:01:24,596
- You're mad!
- Yes, I'm mad!
739
01:01:24,972 --> 01:01:28,975
I'm desperate. This is the only way out,
and you're going to help me, you hear?
740
01:01:34,565 --> 01:01:36,483
All right. Let's hear it again.
741
01:01:36,693 --> 01:01:40,320
'The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain.'
742
01:01:40,446 --> 01:01:42,280
No, no. Through the nose.
743
01:01:42,323 --> 01:01:45,283
- The rain in Spain...
- And show me some teeth!
744
01:01:45,326 --> 01:01:48,829
The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain.
745
01:01:48,955 --> 01:01:51,665
- By George, you haven't got it.
- I haven't?
746
01:01:51,708 --> 01:01:54,167
To a lord, you wouldn't be a lord,
but maybe to Irma.
747
01:01:54,210 --> 01:01:57,087
Don't worry. I've seen every
English movie in town. I'm ready.
748
01:01:57,171 --> 01:02:00,757
- Hold still, your Lordship.
- Tell me again, where is my castle?
749
01:02:00,842 --> 01:02:04,803
- In Worcestershire?
- No. That's the sauce. In Yorkshire.
750
01:02:04,846 --> 01:02:06,096
I thought that was a pudding.
751
01:02:06,180 --> 01:02:08,724
I've done all I can. Now, let's see...
752
01:02:09,100 --> 01:02:10,267
Homburg, umbrella.
753
01:02:10,351 --> 01:02:13,520
- Where's my 500 francs?
- You mean, my 500 francs.
754
01:02:14,147 --> 01:02:15,647
Thank you, old chip.
755
01:02:15,690 --> 01:02:18,066
Not old chip! Old chap!
756
01:02:18,484 --> 01:02:20,652
And not that way. On the lift!
757
01:02:20,695 --> 01:02:22,988
- On the what?
- The elevator!
758
01:02:24,031 --> 01:02:27,117
Now then, shall we have a go at it?
759
01:02:27,869 --> 01:02:31,872
This may be the biggest setback
for the British since Dunkirk.
760
01:02:32,039 --> 01:02:35,208
I know. I was there.
Last man to be evacuated
761
01:02:35,710 --> 01:02:37,544
but that's another story.
762
01:03:34,769 --> 01:03:37,437
Hello, uncle. Looking for a little fun?
763
01:03:37,480 --> 01:03:40,106
- Quite.
- Am I your type?
764
01:03:40,274 --> 01:03:42,943
Not quite. Cheerio, old chap.
765
01:03:43,402 --> 01:03:44,986
Got the time, mister?
766
01:03:45,363 --> 01:03:47,113
Indeed, but not the inclination.
767
01:03:49,784 --> 01:03:53,245
- Good show!
- Anything I can do for you?
768
01:03:53,287 --> 01:03:55,997
No, thank you. Just browsing.
769
01:04:03,714 --> 01:04:07,509
I say there.
Would you call that a miniature or a toy?
770
01:04:07,718 --> 01:04:10,470
That's not a toy! That's a real live dog.
771
01:04:10,638 --> 01:04:13,056
- I have a dog myself.
- A poodle?
772
01:04:13,140 --> 01:04:17,352
No. A Hound of the Baskervilles.
Magnificent beast.
773
01:04:18,229 --> 01:04:20,230
But then again, so are you.
774
01:04:21,148 --> 01:04:23,191
- You must be British.
- Terribly so.
775
01:04:23,276 --> 01:04:26,486
Rolls-Royce, you know, oxfords,
cold cream guards.
776
01:04:26,696 --> 01:04:29,489
Tell me, are you booked?
777
01:04:29,574 --> 01:04:30,657
No.
778
01:04:30,700 --> 01:04:33,285
In that case, shall we...
I mean, would you...
779
01:04:33,327 --> 01:04:36,663
- That is, could we...
- Why not?
780
01:05:01,188 --> 01:05:05,233
- What did you say your name was?
- Irma. They call me Irma la Douce.
781
01:05:05,776 --> 01:05:09,946
If you don't mind, Miss la Douce,
I'd rather not introduce myself.
782
01:05:10,239 --> 01:05:11,239
I don't mind.
783
01:05:11,324 --> 01:05:15,702
In my situation, a man must be discreet.
You may call me, Lord X.
784
01:05:16,078 --> 01:05:17,537
Lord X. Sure.
785
01:05:18,039 --> 01:05:21,291
No, my dear. That shan't be necessary.
786
01:05:21,584 --> 01:05:23,043
What's the matter?
787
01:05:23,753 --> 01:05:27,172
All I really want is a bit of companionship.
788
01:05:27,214 --> 01:05:31,176
A shoulder to cry on,
a smile to lean against.
789
01:05:35,556 --> 01:05:38,600
Say, what does that X stand for?
x-centric?
790
01:05:40,478 --> 01:05:42,562
Let me ask you something, my dear.
791
01:05:43,189 --> 01:05:45,398
Do you find me repulsive?
792
01:05:45,983 --> 01:05:47,442
No. Not at all.
793
01:05:47,568 --> 01:05:49,903
You're rather nice looking,
for a lord your age.
794
01:05:49,987 --> 01:05:53,281
Thank you.
You see, my wife, Lady X, she does.
795
01:05:53,407 --> 01:05:54,407
Does what?
796
01:05:54,492 --> 01:05:59,287
Finds me repulsive, ignores me completely.
Spends her time cultivating the garden
797
01:05:59,372 --> 01:06:00,956
and what's worse
798
01:06:01,290 --> 01:06:02,999
cultivating the gardener.
799
01:06:04,001 --> 01:06:06,753
- The gardener?
- Yes, the other day, I was watching them
800
01:06:07,421 --> 01:06:09,255
from the turret of the castle.
801
01:06:09,423 --> 01:06:12,092
They were in the flowerbed together
802
01:06:12,718 --> 01:06:15,261
and he was pruning her begonias!
803
01:06:16,430 --> 01:06:17,722
They should be ashamed.
804
01:06:17,765 --> 01:06:21,935
It was such a jolly marriage,
those first few years.
805
01:06:22,228 --> 01:06:26,773
We'd sit in front of the fire
and play double solitaire
806
01:06:26,899 --> 01:06:28,566
and Chinese checkers.
807
01:06:28,734 --> 01:06:30,735
Solitaire? I play solitaire.
808
01:06:31,028 --> 01:06:33,947
Capital! Could we? That is, would you?
809
01:06:33,990 --> 01:06:35,699
I mean, shall we?
810
01:06:37,827 --> 01:06:41,538
- I don't care as long as you pay me.
- Don't worry about the money.
811
01:06:41,622 --> 01:06:43,498
You take the red. I'll take the blue.
812
01:06:44,125 --> 01:06:46,209
I once knew a gentleman,
used to bring me up here.
813
01:06:46,293 --> 01:06:50,630
All he'd do is scatter marbles on the floor
and make me pick them up with my toes.
814
01:06:50,965 --> 01:06:52,007
How odd.
815
01:06:53,968 --> 01:06:56,302
- I never played double solitaire before.
- Simple.
816
01:06:56,387 --> 01:06:58,430
All we do is play off on each other's aces.
817
01:07:06,480 --> 01:07:09,149
The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain,
you know?
818
01:07:09,483 --> 01:07:12,277
- No, I didn't know.
- It's a fact. Yeah.
819
01:07:12,486 --> 01:07:14,821
That's where I met my wife, in Spain.
820
01:07:15,906 --> 01:07:17,824
In the rain. In the plain?
821
01:07:17,908 --> 01:07:19,993
I was stationed in Gibraltar.
822
01:07:21,746 --> 01:07:23,663
Your wife, Lady X, is she beautiful?
823
01:07:23,748 --> 01:07:27,876
Very. And very passionate.
So I can't really blame her.
824
01:07:28,210 --> 01:07:32,422
You see,
I came back from the war a shattered man.
825
01:07:32,923 --> 01:07:36,676
- I was wondering about your eye.
- A bit of detached retina.
826
01:07:36,844 --> 01:07:38,094
Happened at Navarone.
827
01:07:38,179 --> 01:07:41,056
Those beastly guns,
popping off all the time.
828
01:07:41,182 --> 01:07:44,559
Have a silver plate in this elbow.
Sink the Bismarck, that was.
829
01:07:45,144 --> 01:07:49,606
- I'm sorry.
- One eye, one elbow, it's not tragic.
830
01:07:51,192 --> 01:07:53,401
What is tragic, however...
831
01:07:54,236 --> 01:07:56,196
I'd rather not talk about it.
832
01:07:57,031 --> 01:07:58,073
If you'd rather not.
833
01:07:58,157 --> 01:08:01,534
I was in a Japanese prison camp
on the river Kwai.
834
01:08:02,203 --> 01:08:04,662
There was a rather nasty explosion.
835
01:08:06,123 --> 01:08:09,876
Whole ruddy bridge fell down on me!
836
01:08:12,630 --> 01:08:16,216
When they dug me up,
I was only half a man
837
01:08:17,510 --> 01:08:19,135
a hollow shell.
838
01:08:21,764 --> 01:08:23,139
You've been through a lot, haven't you?
839
01:08:24,141 --> 01:08:28,561
Mad Dogs and Englishmen,
with Lawrence in Arabia
840
01:08:28,604 --> 01:08:31,773
with Sherpa Tenzing up the Himalayas.
841
01:08:32,399 --> 01:08:35,735
And then there was
The Charge of the Light Brigade.
842
01:08:35,820 --> 01:08:38,863
India, you know? Gunga Din...
843
01:08:38,906 --> 01:08:40,698
Bengal Lancers! Ta-ta!
844
01:08:41,575 --> 01:08:43,785
Yes, served under Commander Whitehead.
845
01:08:44,161 --> 01:08:47,372
And then there was the RAF and the BBC.
846
01:08:48,415 --> 01:08:50,083
Dunkirk!
847
01:08:50,459 --> 01:08:52,502
But that's another story.
848
01:09:10,646 --> 01:09:12,355
Have you seen Irma around?
849
01:09:13,816 --> 01:09:16,109
She's been up there since midnight.
850
01:09:16,152 --> 01:09:18,319
- That's six hours!
- You should see this guy.
851
01:09:18,404 --> 01:09:20,113
He's an old goat with a beard.
852
01:09:20,281 --> 01:09:22,824
I didn't even think
he'd make it up the stairs.
853
01:09:28,414 --> 01:09:31,624
- By George. I've done it again.
- One more.
854
01:09:32,001 --> 01:09:33,418
I'm afraid not.
855
01:09:37,464 --> 01:09:41,384
I'd better dash to the airport
if I'm not to miss my plane.
856
01:09:41,635 --> 01:09:45,138
- You know, it was rather fun for a change.
- Thank you.
857
01:09:45,472 --> 01:09:47,140
There you are, my dear.
858
01:09:50,269 --> 01:09:51,811
You're very generous.
859
01:09:51,854 --> 01:09:53,980
Not really. Just filthy rich.
860
01:09:56,984 --> 01:09:59,068
How often do you come to Paris?
861
01:09:59,320 --> 01:10:01,154
Twice a week. Why?
862
01:10:02,198 --> 01:10:04,616
I was thinking, maybe we could do it again.
863
01:10:04,658 --> 01:10:07,702
Smashing! I was about to suggest
some kind of arrangement.
864
01:10:07,786 --> 01:10:10,205
I'd like that. And so would Nestor.
865
01:10:10,331 --> 01:10:11,831
Yes. Who?
866
01:10:12,041 --> 01:10:13,583
The man I live with.
867
01:10:14,335 --> 01:10:17,503
And he doesn't mind
that you come up here with strangers
868
01:10:18,923 --> 01:10:20,715
and pick up their marbles?
869
01:10:21,425 --> 01:10:23,176
Why? Business is business.
870
01:10:23,260 --> 01:10:24,844
Sensible attitude.
871
01:10:24,929 --> 01:10:27,347
The only thing he does object to
is my smoking.
872
01:10:27,431 --> 01:10:30,516
I'm trying to quit. But it isn't easy.
873
01:10:31,477 --> 01:10:33,645
Then you must really love him.
874
01:10:37,775 --> 01:10:40,610
- Shall we go?
- Just a second.
875
01:10:40,694 --> 01:10:42,445
Where's my other shoe?
876
01:10:42,529 --> 01:10:43,863
My other shoe.
877
01:10:45,241 --> 01:10:48,409
I'm sorry, I really must catch my plane
878
01:10:49,036 --> 01:10:52,330
or Lady X and that wretched gardener
will be running amok.
879
01:10:52,373 --> 01:10:56,042
- See you Thursday. Same time and place?
- I'll be waiting.
880
01:10:59,171 --> 01:11:00,171
Cheery-bye.
881
01:11:05,386 --> 01:11:06,886
This is our lucky night!
882
01:11:07,054 --> 01:11:08,930
Wait till I tell Nestor.
883
01:11:10,140 --> 01:11:12,892
All right, what did you do with my shoe?
884
01:11:23,070 --> 01:11:26,072
Would you give this
to the young lady in Room 9?
885
01:11:26,156 --> 01:11:28,449
Somehow it wound up in my pocket.
886
01:11:30,744 --> 01:11:32,036
Old goat!
887
01:12:34,391 --> 01:12:35,767
How did it go?
888
01:12:35,976 --> 01:12:37,143
You'd have been proud.
889
01:12:37,227 --> 01:12:39,395
What a performance.
Like Sir Laurence Oliver.
890
01:12:39,521 --> 01:12:42,815
Laurence Olivier! Now watch your ascot.
891
01:12:42,983 --> 01:12:44,150
My what?
892
01:12:45,903 --> 01:12:47,236
Nestor!
893
01:12:48,113 --> 01:12:49,405
Nestor!
894
01:12:49,490 --> 01:12:50,490
Nestor!
895
01:12:50,532 --> 01:12:52,784
It happened! We hit the jackpot!
896
01:12:53,994 --> 01:12:55,036
What? What jackpot?
897
01:12:55,120 --> 01:12:56,412
I found him!
898
01:12:56,997 --> 01:12:59,374
And he's got a castle,
comes here twice a week.
899
01:12:59,458 --> 01:13:00,666
Who? Calm down.
900
01:13:00,709 --> 01:13:03,920
He's English, he's a lord,
and I'll see him again on Thursday.
901
01:13:04,004 --> 01:13:06,339
And he's filthy rich.
You know how much he gave me?
902
01:13:06,382 --> 01:13:07,507
How would I know?
903
01:13:07,674 --> 01:13:09,634
Come on. Make a guess.
904
01:13:10,010 --> 01:13:11,511
500 francs!
905
01:13:13,180 --> 01:13:15,807
- Here.
- How about that!
906
01:13:17,559 --> 01:13:19,727
500 francs! What did you have to do for it?
907
01:13:19,812 --> 01:13:21,604
- Nothing!
- Come on!
908
01:13:21,688 --> 01:13:24,023
- He taught me a new game.
- What kind?
909
01:13:24,108 --> 01:13:26,234
- He beat me nine times.
- That's more like it.
910
01:13:26,402 --> 01:13:28,694
He used to play with his wife,
but she won't anymore.
911
01:13:28,737 --> 01:13:30,613
She's got something with the gardener.
912
01:13:32,074 --> 01:13:35,201
It's 500 francs, all right. Later.
913
01:13:38,038 --> 01:13:39,038
Tiger!
914
01:13:39,456 --> 01:13:40,706
Can we see you for a minute?
915
01:13:40,791 --> 01:13:43,042
Certainly! What's on your mind, boys?
916
01:13:43,085 --> 01:13:45,169
Congratulations! You made it!
917
01:13:46,046 --> 01:13:47,547
I didn't really do anything.
918
01:13:47,589 --> 01:13:49,048
We've been talking it over
919
01:13:49,091 --> 01:13:52,885
and since you're numero uno
around here, we've elected you president.
920
01:13:52,928 --> 01:13:54,220
President? Of what?
921
01:13:54,304 --> 01:13:57,306
- Local 27 of the MPPA.
- MPP...
922
01:13:57,391 --> 01:14:00,685
Mecs of Paris Protective Association.
923
01:14:00,727 --> 01:14:03,229
- Me?
- It was unanimous.
924
01:14:03,647 --> 01:14:05,314
That's a great honor.
925
01:14:05,399 --> 01:14:07,233
I'm sure you could find someone more...
926
01:14:07,276 --> 01:14:10,486
We accept! I'm so proud of you.
927
01:14:11,238 --> 01:14:13,197
Champagne for everybody!
928
01:14:22,124 --> 01:14:23,749
Free champagne!
929
01:14:42,686 --> 01:14:44,353
Vive Nestor!
930
01:14:44,438 --> 01:14:47,815
Vive! Vive! Vive!
931
01:15:01,121 --> 01:15:02,622
I'm so happy!
932
01:15:03,165 --> 01:15:05,208
From now on, it's just the three of us.
933
01:15:05,292 --> 01:15:07,585
- You and me and the lord.
- Yeah.
934
01:15:10,631 --> 01:15:12,882
Let's see. 500 francs each time.
935
01:15:13,133 --> 01:15:17,136
That's 1,000 francs a week.
With 52 weeks in a year, that makes...
936
01:15:17,596 --> 01:15:19,472
Darling, can I have 100 francs?
937
01:15:19,640 --> 01:15:20,848
Sure!
938
01:15:21,975 --> 01:15:23,017
It's for a hair dryer.
939
01:15:23,101 --> 01:15:25,895
Here's another 100.
Get some curtains, too.
940
01:15:26,271 --> 01:15:27,730
Why are you so good to me?
941
01:15:27,981 --> 01:15:31,776
I just believe in fair dealings
between labor and management.
942
01:15:45,290 --> 01:15:47,083
Come on, Nestor, le twist.
943
01:15:47,584 --> 01:15:51,337
Hands off, Lolita!
He doesn't twist with anybody but me.
944
01:15:51,380 --> 01:15:53,464
Get her! Mrs. President!
945
01:15:54,633 --> 01:15:56,217
Let's dance.
946
01:17:20,844 --> 01:17:23,929
- Want to pay for the champagne now?
- I didn't order it.
947
01:17:23,972 --> 01:17:27,850
President pays when he's inaugurated.
It's a custom. 270 francs, please.
948
01:17:28,101 --> 01:17:29,268
- 270...
- Nine bottles.
949
01:17:29,311 --> 01:17:31,145
Eight for the gang, one for her.
950
01:17:31,938 --> 01:17:33,230
She had a whole bottle?
951
01:17:33,273 --> 01:17:36,192
How do you think she got
those kidney stones?
952
01:17:38,236 --> 01:17:40,321
That went fast.
953
01:17:40,405 --> 01:17:42,114
Now what about my 500?
954
01:17:43,241 --> 01:17:45,785
You know,
this isn't working out the way we figured.
955
01:17:45,869 --> 01:17:48,954
The way you figured.
I told you it was economically unsound.
956
01:17:49,289 --> 01:17:51,582
You'll just have to
advance Lord X another 500
957
01:17:51,625 --> 01:17:55,670
- when he comes back next Thursday.
- No. Not me.
958
01:17:55,962 --> 01:17:57,463
How am I going to pay Irma?
959
01:17:57,547 --> 01:17:59,507
You'll just have to mortgage your castle.
960
01:17:59,675 --> 01:18:02,093
Or pick some pockets or rob a bank.
961
01:18:02,260 --> 01:18:05,388
I once knocked over a bank in Bordeaux.
It was my father's bank.
962
01:18:05,472 --> 01:18:07,306
- But that's...
- Shut up!
963
01:18:08,975 --> 01:18:11,977
Bit of a sticky wicket,
isn't it, your Lordship?
964
01:18:40,173 --> 01:18:41,465
Dis donc!
965
01:19:02,070 --> 01:19:03,320
Irma?
966
01:19:13,039 --> 01:19:14,039
Irma?
967
01:20:03,423 --> 01:20:04,548
Come on.
968
01:24:46,748 --> 01:24:49,917
- Good morning, darling.
- Good morning.
969
01:24:50,001 --> 01:24:51,960
- Did I wake you?
- No.
970
01:24:55,090 --> 01:24:57,216
It looks like a beautiful day!
971
01:24:59,135 --> 01:25:02,679
I feel so spoiled and so lazy.
972
01:25:03,223 --> 01:25:06,391
Do you realize I don't have a thing to do
until Thursday?
973
01:25:06,434 --> 01:25:09,394
- What's Thursday?
- When Lord X comes again.
974
01:25:09,979 --> 01:25:11,396
You know what let's do?
975
01:25:11,439 --> 01:25:14,399
Let's rent a tandem bicycle,
and ride out to the country.
976
01:25:14,442 --> 01:25:17,694
- Trees and grass and fresh air.
- Not today.
977
01:25:17,737 --> 01:25:20,447
Or we could go to the Bois
and you can row us around the lake.
978
01:25:20,532 --> 01:25:24,034
- Maybe next week.
- Then we don't really have to do anything.
979
01:25:24,077 --> 01:25:27,079
- We could stay in bed all day.
- I'd like that.
980
01:25:31,459 --> 01:25:34,878
- You want your breakfast now or later?
- Much later.
981
01:25:41,427 --> 01:25:43,303
I've got a surprise for you.
982
01:25:44,681 --> 01:25:47,266
- Close your eyes.
- Thank you.
983
01:25:51,354 --> 01:25:55,190
When I was at the department store
buying the curtains, I saw this.
984
01:25:55,275 --> 01:25:57,276
And you know how I feel about green.
985
01:25:57,318 --> 01:25:59,444
So I tried it on. There was a riot.
986
01:25:59,612 --> 01:26:04,032
Three of the salesmen got trampled.
So naturally, I just had to have it.
987
01:26:04,284 --> 01:26:08,495
Now, don't open your eyes yet.
I want you to see it against the light.
988
01:26:11,124 --> 01:26:13,667
All right. You can look now.
989
01:26:15,837 --> 01:26:17,421
Nestor?
990
01:26:21,301 --> 01:26:22,593
Nestor!
991
01:26:27,932 --> 01:26:29,057
Nestor!
992
01:26:29,100 --> 01:26:32,019
Not today. Maybe next week?
993
01:26:36,024 --> 01:26:37,399
All right.
994
01:26:38,276 --> 01:26:40,819
If that's the way you feel about it.
995
01:27:54,394 --> 01:27:57,771
- My dear girl!
- I was afraid you wouldn't show up.
996
01:27:57,855 --> 01:28:01,024
Almost didn't. Ran into a bit of
dirty weather over the Channel.
997
01:28:01,067 --> 01:28:03,902
Unusually foggy for July.
998
01:28:10,576 --> 01:28:13,578
- What is it, my dear?
- You've changed somehow.
999
01:28:13,663 --> 01:28:15,956
Have I? How?
1000
01:28:16,958 --> 01:28:20,544
That patch.
Shouldn't it be on the other eye?
1001
01:28:22,755 --> 01:28:23,922
Indeed!
1002
01:28:23,965 --> 01:28:26,091
No wonder it was so foggy!
1003
01:28:29,387 --> 01:28:31,888
I've been practicing. I'll be better tonight.
1004
01:28:31,931 --> 01:28:34,433
Let's get at it then, shall we?
1005
01:28:38,271 --> 01:28:40,147
Old goat!
1006
01:28:53,828 --> 01:28:55,704
How are things at home?
1007
01:28:55,830 --> 01:28:59,207
- I mean, how's Lady x?
- Her usual self.
1008
01:28:59,792 --> 01:29:01,251
How's the gardener?
1009
01:29:01,669 --> 01:29:02,753
It finally happened.
1010
01:29:02,795 --> 01:29:05,172
- Caught them at it in the greenhouse.
- No.
1011
01:29:05,256 --> 01:29:07,507
I threw them out,
pulled up the drawbridge
1012
01:29:07,592 --> 01:29:09,259
and started divorce proceedings.
1013
01:29:09,761 --> 01:29:10,886
That's too bad.
1014
01:29:10,970 --> 01:29:14,473
Catastrophe!
Best damn gardener I ever had.
1015
01:29:16,100 --> 01:29:18,268
Must be lonely for you now at the castle.
1016
01:29:18,311 --> 01:29:20,312
Very. Especially at night.
1017
01:29:20,480 --> 01:29:24,775
Just me and the family ghosts
spooking around those 96 rooms.
1018
01:29:25,568 --> 01:29:28,653
- How many?
- Not to mention the 400 acres
1019
01:29:28,738 --> 01:29:33,617
and the croquet field,
the trout hatchery and all the horses.
1020
01:29:33,826 --> 01:29:36,703
I breed trotters and pacers.
Separate stables, you know.
1021
01:29:38,748 --> 01:29:41,833
I imagine there must be lots of trees
and grass and a brook?
1022
01:29:41,918 --> 01:29:46,046
And swans and peacocks and unicorns.
1023
01:29:47,131 --> 01:29:51,134
It sounds like a great place for Coquette.
I'd like to get her out of the city.
1024
01:29:52,637 --> 01:29:54,846
- She drinks, you know.
- Really?
1025
01:29:55,431 --> 01:29:58,016
I keep finding empty bottles under the bed.
1026
01:30:00,019 --> 01:30:03,271
Love to invite you to the castle,
both of you
1027
01:30:03,314 --> 01:30:07,651
but I'm sure you wouldn't
dream of leaving your young man.
1028
01:30:09,779 --> 01:30:11,029
No, I guess not.
1029
01:30:11,948 --> 01:30:13,865
Although sometimes, I wonder.
1030
01:30:14,033 --> 01:30:16,576
About what? Is something troubling you?
1031
01:30:16,953 --> 01:30:20,414
Suddenly, he seems so different.
I mean, so indifferent.
1032
01:30:20,498 --> 01:30:23,125
He's always tired,
not interested in me at all.
1033
01:30:24,377 --> 01:30:26,461
I'm sure there must be some explanation.
1034
01:30:27,380 --> 01:30:29,131
I think he has another girl.
1035
01:30:29,674 --> 01:30:33,552
That's ridiculous!
Why would anybody with a girl like you...
1036
01:30:33,636 --> 01:30:36,638
Somebody ought to give that young man
a good talking to.
1037
01:30:36,889 --> 01:30:39,516
- Would you like to meet him?
- Meet him?
1038
01:30:40,017 --> 01:30:42,352
He's waiting in the bistro across the street.
1039
01:30:42,395 --> 01:30:47,065
- I really ought to be getting to the airport.
- It'll only take a minute.
1040
01:30:47,108 --> 01:30:50,527
- Come on, we'll buy you a drink.
- Thank you, but, no thank you.
1041
01:30:50,570 --> 01:30:52,863
I mean, while I'm getting my divorce
1042
01:30:52,905 --> 01:30:55,615
we really shouldn't
be seen with each other.
1043
01:30:55,700 --> 01:30:57,826
Yes, you must be careful.
1044
01:30:58,202 --> 01:31:00,579
Maybe we shouldn't
leave the hotel together.
1045
01:31:00,663 --> 01:31:02,414
Capital suggestion!
1046
01:31:03,124 --> 01:31:05,459
Shall we rendezvous again next Monday?
1047
01:31:05,710 --> 01:31:07,586
Of course.
1048
01:31:08,671 --> 01:31:11,006
I don't feel right about this.
1049
01:31:13,050 --> 01:31:15,719
It's taking money under false pretenses.
1050
01:31:16,095 --> 01:31:19,806
- After all, I don't do anything for you.
- Balderdash!
1051
01:31:19,891 --> 01:31:24,352
If it weren't for our arrangement,
I should go straight through the ceiling.
1052
01:31:24,479 --> 01:31:27,230
Of course, it must be very boring for you.
1053
01:31:27,273 --> 01:31:29,316
Not at all. I enjoy it.
1054
01:31:31,235 --> 01:31:33,445
You've made me a very happy man.
1055
01:31:34,739 --> 01:31:36,573
Half-man, I should say.
1056
01:31:38,868 --> 01:31:40,619
Ta-ta!
1057
01:31:42,747 --> 01:31:44,122
Toodle-oo.
1058
01:31:44,790 --> 01:31:45,999
And tallyho.
1059
01:31:54,509 --> 01:31:57,052
Up! Get up, you lush!
1060
01:31:58,804 --> 01:32:01,264
Look at those circles under your eyes.
1061
01:32:01,516 --> 01:32:05,227
Carry on like this,
and we'll have to have your face lifted.
1062
01:32:15,446 --> 01:32:18,406
Say, you're the Englishman
that's seeing Irma.
1063
01:32:18,449 --> 01:32:21,785
- I don't believe we've been introduced.
- I'm Hippolyte the Ox.
1064
01:32:21,953 --> 01:32:23,912
What is on your mind, Mr. Ox?
1065
01:32:24,455 --> 01:32:28,959
I thought if you're interested in something
new, something more unusual...
1066
01:32:29,460 --> 01:32:30,669
Twins, you know.
1067
01:32:30,836 --> 01:32:34,756
What? Play three-handed solitaire?
No, thanks.
1068
01:33:01,325 --> 01:33:02,867
Order!
1069
01:33:03,536 --> 01:33:05,954
Come on, everybody. It's getting late!
1070
01:33:06,497 --> 01:33:08,790
- Let's take a vote.
- All right.
1071
01:33:09,208 --> 01:33:10,500
The motion on the floor
1072
01:33:10,585 --> 01:33:13,336
is that every girl contributes
a day's earnings a week
1073
01:33:13,379 --> 01:33:15,088
toward our pension fund.
1074
01:33:15,172 --> 01:33:16,673
All those in favor...
1075
01:33:16,716 --> 01:33:17,841
- Aye!
- Aye!
1076
01:33:17,883 --> 01:33:19,843
Aye!
1077
01:33:20,761 --> 01:33:22,470
Carried unanimously!
1078
01:33:22,805 --> 01:33:26,057
Okay, girls. Let's have it.
1079
01:33:33,733 --> 01:33:36,901
- I'm back, Nestor.
- That was a rough meeting.
1080
01:33:37,069 --> 01:33:38,111
Here you are.
1081
01:33:38,362 --> 01:33:39,362
Thank you.
1082
01:33:40,323 --> 01:33:41,489
Thank you.
1083
01:33:42,325 --> 01:33:44,618
- What's that for?
- You just voted for it.
1084
01:33:44,702 --> 01:33:46,328
It's for the pension fund.
1085
01:33:47,496 --> 01:33:50,665
Just part of my program.
Now that I'm President
1086
01:33:50,708 --> 01:33:53,126
I'm going to get this organization
moving ahead.
1087
01:33:57,131 --> 01:34:01,551
- How did it go with his Lordship?
- Fine. I'm beginning to like him a lot.
1088
01:34:01,719 --> 01:34:05,096
It's a good thing the bridge fell on him.
I might be jealous. Cognac.
1089
01:34:05,264 --> 01:34:07,057
Pernod for me. Nothing for her.
1090
01:34:07,767 --> 01:34:08,892
He's getting a divorce.
1091
01:34:08,934 --> 01:34:11,019
Maybe now he can come
see me more often.
1092
01:34:11,270 --> 01:34:13,229
More often? I doubt it.
1093
01:34:13,272 --> 01:34:16,733
- Where would he get the money?
- He's got this big estate.
1094
01:34:17,151 --> 01:34:20,028
You know what the taxes are
on a big estate in England?
1095
01:34:20,112 --> 01:34:23,073
Some of those lords
have to scrounge around for a living.
1096
01:34:30,039 --> 01:34:34,042
If he saw me three times a week,
that's 1,500 francs.
1097
01:34:34,502 --> 01:34:36,127
I could buy you a car!
1098
01:34:37,296 --> 01:34:38,797
One of those sports models.
1099
01:34:38,881 --> 01:34:42,342
Kiki thinks she's such a hotshot
because she got her guy a motor scooter.
1100
01:34:43,636 --> 01:34:47,430
Wait till they see you
driving around with the top down.
1101
01:34:47,640 --> 01:34:49,808
And I'm gonna get you a
little cap to go with it.
1102
01:34:49,892 --> 01:34:51,309
What are you doing?
1103
01:34:53,104 --> 01:34:57,190
- He's trying to get the lipstick off.
- Lipstick? Where did that come from?
1104
01:34:57,316 --> 01:34:59,776
- That's a good question.
- It must have been you.
1105
01:34:59,819 --> 01:35:01,736
- That's it.
- Me?
1106
01:35:01,779 --> 01:35:03,988
I was in the hotel with his Lordship.
1107
01:35:04,156 --> 01:35:05,448
That's not it.
1108
01:35:06,617 --> 01:35:09,994
Yes. It was at the board meeting.
We were taking a vote
1109
01:35:10,079 --> 01:35:12,288
and one of the girls was doing
a little lobbying.
1110
01:35:12,748 --> 01:35:14,040
That must be it.
1111
01:35:14,500 --> 01:35:18,253
Just which girl was doing a little lobbying?
1112
01:35:21,340 --> 01:35:23,341
Come on, Tiger. How about it?
1113
01:35:27,847 --> 01:35:29,597
You dropped something.
1114
01:35:30,224 --> 01:35:31,391
Where?
1115
01:35:32,476 --> 01:35:33,810
There!
1116
01:35:42,194 --> 01:35:44,154
Now, please, look, girls...
1117
01:35:44,530 --> 01:35:46,030
This is...
1118
01:35:54,832 --> 01:35:56,875
Now, I'm the president here.
1119
01:36:02,673 --> 01:36:05,842
That's enough.
Let's shake hands and make up.
1120
01:36:12,391 --> 01:36:13,975
Now, girls!
1121
01:36:25,404 --> 01:36:27,363
No. You wouldn't. You...
1122
01:37:58,914 --> 01:38:00,164
Good morning, Tiger.
1123
01:38:00,249 --> 01:38:02,417
How about some breakfast?
Fresh croissants.
1124
01:38:02,501 --> 01:38:05,628
- No, I better get back before she wakes up.
- You look terrible.
1125
01:38:05,671 --> 01:38:09,674
- You must've lost 10 pounds.
- 15. I weighed myself on the meat scale.
1126
01:38:09,758 --> 01:38:11,634
What do you expect? Night after night
1127
01:38:11,719 --> 01:38:13,720
loading, unloading,
in and out the window
1128
01:38:13,804 --> 01:38:17,515
on with the beard, off with the beard.
You're going to fall apart, kid.
1129
01:38:17,600 --> 01:38:19,934
I don't care
so long as I keep her off the streets.
1130
01:38:20,019 --> 01:38:22,770
It's a hard way to earn an easy living.
1131
01:38:47,379 --> 01:38:48,713
Nestor?
1132
01:39:44,645 --> 01:39:48,731
You know, Irma,
I'm a little bit disappointed in you.
1133
01:39:49,733 --> 01:39:53,236
You promised me
you wouldn't smoke anymore.
1134
01:39:56,782 --> 01:39:59,158
Aren't you going to say anything?
1135
01:40:01,745 --> 01:40:05,248
I suppose you're wondering where I was.
1136
01:40:05,582 --> 01:40:07,500
I know where you were.
1137
01:40:07,751 --> 01:40:10,503
- You do?
- You were out with the boys.
1138
01:40:10,713 --> 01:40:12,463
Yeah. That's right.
1139
01:40:12,673 --> 01:40:14,132
Don't lie to me!
1140
01:40:14,216 --> 01:40:17,552
- Where was I?
- You were out with Lolita.
1141
01:40:18,929 --> 01:40:21,097
That's right. That's just...
1142
01:40:21,181 --> 01:40:23,016
Let me go to bed. I'm very tired.
1143
01:40:23,100 --> 01:40:26,561
- You've been with her every night.
- No, I haven't.
1144
01:40:26,937 --> 01:40:29,063
No, not every night.
1145
01:40:29,106 --> 01:40:32,775
Sometimes I was with Amazon Annie
1146
01:40:32,901 --> 01:40:35,486
and sometimes, with Mimi the MauMau
1147
01:40:35,946 --> 01:40:38,156
and sometimes, with the twins.
1148
01:40:40,159 --> 01:40:42,535
They all want me to handle them.
1149
01:40:42,786 --> 01:40:45,329
So I've decided to branch out, you know?
1150
01:40:45,414 --> 01:40:48,708
Business is business, and don't you forget
1151
01:40:49,293 --> 01:40:52,503
around here, I'm numero uno!
1152
01:40:53,922 --> 01:40:55,798
You make me sick!
1153
01:40:58,302 --> 01:41:00,636
What are you going to do about it?
1154
01:41:06,852 --> 01:41:10,229
This is what you came with. Now get out!
1155
01:41:12,900 --> 01:41:14,650
You're not throwing me out.
1156
01:41:15,402 --> 01:41:18,112
- Because you're crazy about me!
- Let go!
1157
01:41:18,155 --> 01:41:19,989
Going to buy me a new car, remember?
1158
01:41:20,032 --> 01:41:21,991
- And a sports cap.
- Let go!
1159
01:41:22,034 --> 01:41:26,454
And when you buy me the sports cap,
I want it with a little strap in the back.
1160
01:41:27,623 --> 01:41:29,373
That's what you'll get from me!
1161
01:41:29,458 --> 01:41:32,794
Let those other girls work for you
and see how well you do!
1162
01:41:32,836 --> 01:41:36,672
You think you're numero uno.
I'm numero uno.
1163
01:41:36,757 --> 01:41:40,218
Go outside on the street
and ask the first man you see.
1164
01:41:40,302 --> 01:41:42,512
Ask anybody!
1165
01:41:56,610 --> 01:41:58,277
I'm sorry. It's...
1166
01:42:18,382 --> 01:42:21,968
Well, here we are in the seventh inning,
two outs, Maury Wills on first.
1167
01:42:22,052 --> 01:42:24,428
Ballgame coming to you direct
from Los Angeles
1168
01:42:24,513 --> 01:42:29,392
over the American Forces Network.
Marichal on the rubber, into a stretch.
1169
01:42:29,434 --> 01:42:31,185
Here's the pitch, and there he goes!
1170
01:42:31,228 --> 01:42:34,188
The throw down to second base
is not in time!
1171
01:42:34,565 --> 01:42:36,440
He's stolen another one!
1172
01:42:58,338 --> 01:42:59,505
Hello.
1173
01:42:59,756 --> 01:43:02,508
Here you are.
I was afraid you mightn't show.
1174
01:43:02,593 --> 01:43:05,720
I lost track of time.
I've been walking the streets all day.
1175
01:43:06,096 --> 01:43:07,221
Thinking.
1176
01:43:07,973 --> 01:43:10,141
There's something
I'd like to discuss with you.
1177
01:43:10,225 --> 01:43:12,643
- By all means.
- Not here.
1178
01:43:13,770 --> 01:43:15,855
I don't want Nestor to know.
1179
01:43:16,148 --> 01:43:20,193
Let's not take any chances.
Shall we go up to your office?
1180
01:43:35,292 --> 01:43:38,794
Now then, my dear,
what is it that's so important?
1181
01:43:40,005 --> 01:43:42,048
Did you mean
what you said the other night?
1182
01:43:42,132 --> 01:43:44,217
Indeed. What did I say?
1183
01:43:44,301 --> 01:43:46,802
About taking me to England with you.
1184
01:43:48,472 --> 01:43:50,598
Of course I meant it, if I said it.
1185
01:43:50,641 --> 01:43:54,435
And if you say so, I must have said it,
and meant it.
1186
01:43:54,478 --> 01:43:56,395
- I'm ready.
- But you can't go!
1187
01:43:56,480 --> 01:43:58,648
What about Nestor or
whatever his name is?
1188
01:43:58,857 --> 01:44:01,817
Nestor, Hippolyte, Marcel...
It doesn't matter.
1189
01:44:01,860 --> 01:44:04,070
Sooner or later,
they all give you a bad time.
1190
01:44:04,154 --> 01:44:05,321
The brutes.
1191
01:44:05,697 --> 01:44:09,283
- If you want me to go with you...
- It's a bit of a sticky wicket.
1192
01:44:10,827 --> 01:44:13,663
If it's awkward,
I don't want to embarrass you.
1193
01:44:13,705 --> 01:44:16,707
Not at all, my dear. I'd be delighted.
1194
01:44:16,792 --> 01:44:18,501
It's just...
1195
01:44:19,503 --> 01:44:22,505
There's this ghastly
servant problem right now
1196
01:44:22,589 --> 01:44:25,424
and the castle's overrun with plumbers.
1197
01:44:25,509 --> 01:44:27,176
Moat is leaking.
1198
01:44:27,761 --> 01:44:32,223
Besides, I'm a shattered man.
I'd be of no use to you.
1199
01:44:34,559 --> 01:44:35,851
Are you sure?
1200
01:44:36,853 --> 01:44:39,855
Matter of fact,
I'm on my way to Zurich now.
1201
01:44:39,940 --> 01:44:42,149
I wasn't planning to go back to England.
1202
01:44:42,192 --> 01:44:45,528
Going to consult a Swiss doctor,
a specialist.
1203
01:44:46,405 --> 01:44:49,949
That's a waste of time.
They can't help you.
1204
01:44:50,033 --> 01:44:53,202
I once knew a specialist.
Used to send some of his patients to me.
1205
01:44:53,245 --> 01:44:55,371
- To you?
- The tough cases.
1206
01:44:55,497 --> 01:44:58,833
Poor guys. Thought they'd run out of gas,
but they were just stalled.
1207
01:44:58,875 --> 01:45:01,919
- All they needed was a little push.
- A push?
1208
01:45:02,045 --> 01:45:05,131
I mean mentally,
to stimulate their imagination.
1209
01:45:06,258 --> 01:45:09,218
- It's all up here, you know.
- I wish it were.
1210
01:45:09,261 --> 01:45:12,555
I had one patient given up as hopeless
until I started telling him
1211
01:45:12,597 --> 01:45:14,223
about the South Seas.
1212
01:45:14,308 --> 01:45:17,518
The South Seas. What a curious gambit.
1213
01:45:17,728 --> 01:45:19,061
It worked.
1214
01:45:22,733 --> 01:45:24,817
- Lie down.
- I beg your pardon?
1215
01:45:24,901 --> 01:45:26,569
Stretch out. Relax.
1216
01:45:29,072 --> 01:45:32,074
Close your eyes. I mean, your eye.
1217
01:45:34,911 --> 01:45:37,580
- No tricks now.
- I promise.
1218
01:45:41,918 --> 01:45:43,544
You're in Tahiti.
1219
01:45:43,837 --> 01:45:45,671
- All right?
- Tahiti.
1220
01:45:45,756 --> 01:45:48,507
Yes! I've been there with Captain Bligh.
1221
01:45:48,592 --> 01:45:52,011
- Mutiny on the Bounty!
- Down, Lord.
1222
01:45:54,222 --> 01:45:55,806
Now concentrate.
1223
01:46:04,983 --> 01:46:07,651
Palm trees swaying in the breeze.
1224
01:46:08,987 --> 01:46:10,988
The smell of ripe papayas.
1225
01:46:11,406 --> 01:46:13,866
A blue lagoon, white sand.
1226
01:46:14,451 --> 01:46:16,452
Golden-skinned girls.
1227
01:46:17,621 --> 01:46:19,288
Have you got that?
1228
01:46:19,748 --> 01:46:24,043
Blue lagoon, white sand, golden skin...
1229
01:46:25,128 --> 01:46:27,171
They're beautiful, aren't they?
1230
01:46:27,255 --> 01:46:28,881
Are they ever!
1231
01:46:28,965 --> 01:46:30,716
How many do you see?
1232
01:46:32,552 --> 01:46:35,137
Fourteen, to be exact.
1233
01:46:35,180 --> 01:46:37,390
They're wearing grass skirts
and coconut shells.
1234
01:46:37,474 --> 01:46:39,350
- No, they're not.
- They're not?
1235
01:46:39,768 --> 01:46:43,979
They're wearing sarongs
and hibiscus blossoms in their hair.
1236
01:46:46,942 --> 01:46:49,235
Yes. By George, you're right.
1237
01:46:49,945 --> 01:46:54,698
Now they take off their sarongs,
and start washing them in the blue lagoon.
1238
01:46:56,284 --> 01:46:58,035
Indeed! They...
1239
01:47:00,247 --> 01:47:01,872
Look, it's no use.
1240
01:47:01,957 --> 01:47:04,417
I mean, I really am out of gas... Petrol.
1241
01:47:04,668 --> 01:47:06,710
The tank is completely dry.
1242
01:47:06,920 --> 01:47:09,547
All right. Let's forget Tahiti. Lie back.
1243
01:47:16,471 --> 01:47:18,139
You're in Baghdad.
1244
01:47:18,515 --> 01:47:20,516
Baghdad? Now, how did I get there?
1245
01:47:28,775 --> 01:47:30,526
You're in a bazaar.
1246
01:47:32,320 --> 01:47:34,196
You see an exotic woman
1247
01:47:34,614 --> 01:47:36,657
with a veil across her face.
1248
01:47:36,741 --> 01:47:39,952
Big, black almond eyes.
1249
01:47:40,996 --> 01:47:42,121
She winks at you.
1250
01:47:43,039 --> 01:47:46,292
You follow her.
She disappears into a palace.
1251
01:47:47,085 --> 01:47:49,879
There are two Nubian slaves
standing guard
1252
01:47:49,921 --> 01:47:51,422
so you climb over the wall.
1253
01:47:52,632 --> 01:47:54,633
- How high?
- Ten feet.
1254
01:47:54,718 --> 01:47:57,845
- I'll never make it!
- Try! You must try!
1255
01:47:57,888 --> 01:48:01,765
I'm trying! Broken glass on the top!
1256
01:48:01,892 --> 01:48:04,977
- Are you over?
- Just barely.
1257
01:48:05,353 --> 01:48:06,437
Good.
1258
01:48:07,522 --> 01:48:10,357
Now, you're inside the harem.
1259
01:48:12,110 --> 01:48:14,236
You're lying on silk pillows.
1260
01:48:15,572 --> 01:48:17,072
Odalisques are fanning you.
1261
01:48:18,742 --> 01:48:20,743
They're feeding you grapes
1262
01:48:22,078 --> 01:48:23,954
painting your toenails
1263
01:48:25,457 --> 01:48:28,959
while she does the dance
of the seven veils.
1264
01:48:31,338 --> 01:48:35,424
She takes off the fourth veil.
1265
01:48:37,052 --> 01:48:38,093
The fifth.
1266
01:48:39,471 --> 01:48:40,846
The sixth.
1267
01:49:01,826 --> 01:49:04,662
You will be gentle, won't you?
1268
01:49:21,471 --> 01:49:23,055
Your Lordship?
1269
01:49:30,605 --> 01:49:32,856
Are you all right, your Lordship?
1270
01:49:36,528 --> 01:49:40,322
I will be as soon as I pull myself together.
1271
01:49:43,326 --> 01:49:46,579
You know, I think Lady x
must have been out of her mind.
1272
01:49:46,746 --> 01:49:50,666
With you in the house, why would she
go puttering around in the garden?
1273
01:49:50,959 --> 01:49:55,379
- How kind of you to say so.
- When does our plane leave for London?
1274
01:49:55,672 --> 01:49:59,174
- Eight o'clock.
- I'd better go home and pack.
1275
01:50:01,303 --> 01:50:05,472
Look, I'm afraid I can't take you
to my castle in Worcestershire.
1276
01:50:05,557 --> 01:50:06,640
Why not?
1277
01:50:06,683 --> 01:50:09,810
Because I don't
have a castle in Worcestershire.
1278
01:50:10,270 --> 01:50:12,855
Of course not. It's in Yorkshire.
1279
01:50:13,982 --> 01:50:17,651
Quite, but, what I mean to say...
1280
01:50:17,861 --> 01:50:21,697
I haven't been entirely frank with you,
my dear.
1281
01:50:21,740 --> 01:50:22,740
You haven't?
1282
01:50:22,866 --> 01:50:27,536
For instance,
what I told you about the unicorns...
1283
01:50:27,704 --> 01:50:30,080
There are no unicorns.
1284
01:50:30,373 --> 01:50:31,624
So what?
1285
01:50:32,542 --> 01:50:34,835
So she'll play with the peacocks.
1286
01:50:34,878 --> 01:50:36,712
And don't worry about
the servant problem.
1287
01:50:36,796 --> 01:50:39,882
I'll cook for you,
I'll serve you tea in the afternoon,
1288
01:50:39,924 --> 01:50:41,925
I'll knit you sweaters.
1289
01:50:43,011 --> 01:50:45,054
I can be ready in 20 minutes.
1290
01:50:45,138 --> 01:50:47,389
I'll meet you
at the bistro across the street.
1291
01:50:47,474 --> 01:50:49,516
Chez Moustache, all right?
1292
01:50:50,644 --> 01:50:52,227
Are you there?
1293
01:50:54,064 --> 01:50:55,397
Your Lordship?
1294
01:50:55,899 --> 01:50:59,234
Yes, I'm there. I mean, I'm here.
1295
01:51:00,362 --> 01:51:02,071
And I'll be there.
1296
01:51:02,864 --> 01:51:04,323
The bistro.
1297
01:51:08,078 --> 01:51:09,411
And one more thing.
1298
01:51:09,454 --> 01:51:11,580
Keep away from Nestor. He's vicious!
1299
01:51:11,748 --> 01:51:14,375
They don't call him "Tiger" for nothing.
1300
01:51:54,374 --> 01:51:57,459
I say there, this is a bit of a jolly surprise.
1301
01:51:57,919 --> 01:52:01,130
- What'll it be, your Lordship?
- Don't mention that swine to me.
1302
01:52:01,214 --> 01:52:03,924
Do you know what they've been doing
behind my back?
1303
01:52:03,967 --> 01:52:06,760
- What?
- Shattered man, my eye!
1304
01:52:06,970 --> 01:52:09,012
- They're going to England together!
- Who?
1305
01:52:09,097 --> 01:52:11,348
Irma and the lord! She's packing now.
1306
01:52:11,474 --> 01:52:13,684
She's going to walk out on me! Nestor!
1307
01:52:13,768 --> 01:52:15,436
He's taking her to his castle.
1308
01:52:15,478 --> 01:52:17,813
She's going to make tea
and knit him sweaters.
1309
01:52:17,897 --> 01:52:19,857
- You're talking crazy.
- They won't get away with it.
1310
01:52:19,941 --> 01:52:24,153
I'll kill him first, I'll tear him apart
and throw him in the Seine.
1311
01:52:29,492 --> 01:52:31,535
There is no lord.
1312
01:52:32,787 --> 01:52:34,496
- There isn't?
- That's right.
1313
01:52:35,373 --> 01:52:38,167
How do you like that phony?
He's been lying to her.
1314
01:52:38,293 --> 01:52:40,919
What do you mean, "He"?
There is no "He." It's you!
1315
01:52:41,004 --> 01:52:43,088
Of course, but she doesn't know that.
1316
01:52:43,173 --> 01:52:45,048
And she doesn't know that I know.
1317
01:52:45,133 --> 01:52:48,677
But I know that
she likes him better than she likes me.
1318
01:52:48,845 --> 01:52:49,928
See?
1319
01:52:50,722 --> 01:52:53,515
She wouldn't even
take any money from him.
1320
01:52:54,517 --> 01:52:56,018
You'd better have a drink.
1321
01:52:56,102 --> 01:52:59,188
The world isn't big enough
for the two of us.
1322
01:52:59,939 --> 01:53:03,358
Lord X is going to walk down the street
and disappear forever.
1323
01:53:03,526 --> 01:53:08,155
- Nobody's ever going to see him again.
- I didn't want to see him in the first place.
1324
01:53:08,198 --> 01:53:11,366
- Get my other clothes, will you?
- Coming up.
1325
01:53:22,587 --> 01:53:24,505
Somebody ought to warn him.
1326
01:53:24,547 --> 01:53:27,216
He shouldn't flash
all that money around here.
1327
01:53:27,383 --> 01:53:29,384
He's liable to get hit over the head.
1328
01:53:29,427 --> 01:53:32,429
- Are you gonna warn him?
- Me?
1329
01:53:32,889 --> 01:53:34,139
None of my business.
1330
01:53:37,769 --> 01:53:40,395
In a way,
I'm going to miss you, your Lordship.
1331
01:53:40,438 --> 01:53:42,898
Pull yourself together, old chap.
1332
01:53:43,024 --> 01:53:45,734
Stiff upper lip and all that. Cheerio.
1333
01:53:48,238 --> 01:53:49,905
One more for the road.
1334
01:53:55,912 --> 01:53:58,747
Jojo, have you got your blackjack on you?
1335
01:53:58,790 --> 01:54:01,458
Sorry. How about some brass knuckles?
1336
01:55:43,895 --> 01:55:46,146
Goodbye, your bloody Lordship!
1337
01:55:50,568 --> 01:55:53,487
I hate to see you go,
but c'est la vie, old chap.
1338
01:55:58,910 --> 01:56:01,328
I hope you float
all the way back to England
1339
01:56:01,412 --> 01:56:03,997
and I hope the fish eat your bloody liver!
1340
01:56:53,631 --> 01:56:56,258
Police! Police!
1341
01:57:20,116 --> 01:57:22,117
What's the time, Moustache?
1342
01:57:23,369 --> 01:57:26,121
- 8:05.
- You sure your watch isn't fast?
1343
01:57:26,289 --> 01:57:29,207
Maybe, or maybe whoever
you're waiting for is slow.
1344
01:57:32,170 --> 01:57:33,545
Here you are, baby.
1345
01:57:33,671 --> 01:57:36,673
This time tomorrow
you'll be chasing peacocks across the lawn.
1346
01:57:36,758 --> 01:57:38,842
- Where are you going?
- To visit my aunt.
1347
01:57:38,926 --> 01:57:39,926
Really?
1348
01:57:39,969 --> 01:57:42,429
She lives in Brussels.
That's Belgium, you know.
1349
01:57:42,597 --> 01:57:45,891
Used to be a concert pianist,
but runs an orphanage now.
1350
01:57:46,225 --> 01:57:48,727
Come on, Irma.
You can do better than that.
1351
01:57:48,811 --> 01:57:51,313
- Is that seat taken?
- Yes.
1352
01:57:51,397 --> 01:57:53,273
Cafe au lait and a croissant.
1353
01:57:56,319 --> 01:57:59,613
That aunt of yours, could it be
she has a beard and an eye patch
1354
01:57:59,655 --> 01:58:01,656
and her name is Lord X?
1355
01:58:03,451 --> 01:58:06,369
Because if that's who you're waiting for,
he won't show.
1356
01:58:06,454 --> 01:58:09,122
Can't a girl sit here
without being annoyed by riffraff?
1357
01:58:09,165 --> 01:58:10,415
We get all kinds.
1358
01:58:10,500 --> 01:58:14,169
Just a while ago,
we had a real live English lord in here.
1359
01:58:14,295 --> 01:58:16,797
- He was here?
- Left about an hour ago.
1360
01:58:16,839 --> 01:58:18,423
Did he say where he was going?
1361
01:58:18,508 --> 01:58:21,176
No. No message. No nothing.
1362
01:58:21,302 --> 01:58:24,012
I saw him walking down the street
toward the river.
1363
01:58:24,055 --> 01:58:25,931
But we have a date here.
1364
01:58:26,140 --> 01:58:27,682
Maybe he forgot.
1365
01:58:27,850 --> 01:58:30,018
Maybe he changed his mind.
1366
01:58:30,520 --> 01:58:33,438
He'll come for me. He's a gentleman.
1367
01:58:33,564 --> 01:58:36,525
Gentleman? Don't make me laugh!
1368
01:58:36,859 --> 01:58:38,860
You know nothing about men.
1369
01:58:39,821 --> 01:58:42,531
- I know nothing about men?
- And you know why?
1370
01:58:42,573 --> 01:58:45,700
- Because you've been with too many.
- Thanks a lot.
1371
01:58:45,868 --> 01:58:48,078
You think you're a pro, an expert on love.
1372
01:58:48,162 --> 01:58:50,455
You can't even tell
when somebody really loves you.
1373
01:58:50,540 --> 01:58:52,207
- Like who?
- Like me.
1374
01:58:52,250 --> 01:58:56,753
Like hell!
You only love that 500 francs twice a week.
1375
01:58:56,838 --> 01:58:59,548
What do I have to do to prove it to you?
1376
01:59:13,896 --> 01:59:17,566
Nestor Patou,
I arrest you for the murder of Lord X.
1377
01:59:17,817 --> 01:59:21,736
- The murder of who?
- You recognize these clothes?
1378
01:59:24,323 --> 01:59:26,116
That's his umbrella,
1379
01:59:26,409 --> 01:59:30,662
- his eye patch, and his solitaire cards.
- Thank you, madame.
1380
01:59:30,746 --> 01:59:33,415
- Where's the lord?
- Somewhere at the bottom of the Seine.
1381
01:59:33,499 --> 01:59:34,499
No!
1382
01:59:34,584 --> 01:59:36,376
That's nonsense! There is no Lord X!
1383
01:59:36,419 --> 01:59:39,004
Of course there isn't,
because you killed him!
1384
01:59:39,297 --> 01:59:40,755
I saw the whole thing.
1385
01:59:40,798 --> 01:59:44,551
He beat him up, stole his wallet,
threw his body in the river.
1386
01:59:46,929 --> 01:59:50,765
Irma, I... Wait a minute!
Moustache, tell them!
1387
01:59:50,808 --> 01:59:53,268
Yes, that's the lord's!
1388
01:59:53,644 --> 01:59:57,939
- He was such a sweet man!
- The old familiar pattern:
1389
01:59:57,982 --> 02:00:00,358
Young policeman turns dishonest,
becomes a mec,
1390
02:00:00,443 --> 02:00:03,445
and finally winds up as a murderer.
It's an open-and-shut case.
1391
02:00:03,529 --> 02:00:06,948
You'll just have to reopen it
because Moustache can...
1392
02:00:07,241 --> 02:00:10,410
- My client has nothing more to say.
- Your client?
1393
02:00:10,453 --> 02:00:12,954
I have a law degree
from the University of Grenoble.
1394
02:00:13,039 --> 02:00:15,790
Used to be a leading criminal attorney
in France
1395
02:00:15,875 --> 02:00:18,543
before I was disbarred,
but that's another story.
1396
02:00:18,628 --> 02:00:20,795
- Put the handcuffs on him!
- Just a moment!
1397
02:00:20,880 --> 02:00:23,548
The accused has a right
to confer with his lawyer.
1398
02:00:27,303 --> 02:00:30,305
What are you trying to do?
Why don't we just tell them the truth?
1399
02:00:30,389 --> 02:00:33,141
- The truth? That's dynamite.
- But I'm innocent.
1400
02:00:33,184 --> 02:00:36,478
The jails are full of innocent people
because they told the truth.
1401
02:00:36,646 --> 02:00:37,812
What's your defense?
1402
02:00:37,897 --> 02:00:40,148
You couldn't have killed Lord X
because you were him.
1403
02:00:40,233 --> 02:00:43,652
Only you weren't Lord X, you were a mec.
You weren't really a mec
1404
02:00:43,736 --> 02:00:45,320
you worked the market at night
1405
02:00:45,404 --> 02:00:48,406
to make 500 francs
for making love to your own girl
1406
02:00:48,491 --> 02:00:50,533
whom you could have
made love to for free
1407
02:00:50,618 --> 02:00:52,535
except you were too tired
from making money
1408
02:00:52,620 --> 02:00:55,497
to give to Lord X
to give to Irma to give to you.
1409
02:00:55,581 --> 02:00:59,251
That's the truth.
And if you tell that mish-mash to a jury
1410
02:00:59,335 --> 02:01:01,920
you're a cinch to get 15 years.
1411
02:01:03,422 --> 02:01:05,966
- What am I gonna do?
- Nothing.
1412
02:01:06,717 --> 02:01:08,843
Just put yourself in my hands.
1413
02:01:10,888 --> 02:01:13,598
Gentlemen, my client admits his crime.
1414
02:01:13,975 --> 02:01:15,058
He does?
1415
02:01:15,851 --> 02:01:16,977
I do?
1416
02:01:17,311 --> 02:01:19,396
But let us consider the motive.
1417
02:01:19,563 --> 02:01:22,107
Why would a mec kill
his girl's best customer
1418
02:01:22,191 --> 02:01:25,652
for 500 francs, when he can get that
twice a week every week?
1419
02:01:25,695 --> 02:01:28,905
It would be like killing the goose
that laid the golden egg.
1420
02:01:28,990 --> 02:01:31,449
Or maybe because they were
running away together?
1421
02:01:31,575 --> 02:01:33,535
Because he was losing his meal ticket?
1422
02:01:33,619 --> 02:01:37,956
That's equally ridiculous!
He's the king around here.
1423
02:01:38,040 --> 02:01:40,333
He could have had any girl
working for him.
1424
02:01:40,376 --> 02:01:41,584
That's right.
1425
02:01:43,337 --> 02:01:46,298
So we are left with only
one possible motive:
1426
02:01:46,549 --> 02:01:47,966
Jealousy.
1427
02:01:48,050 --> 02:01:49,884
He was so much in love with Irma
1428
02:01:49,969 --> 02:01:53,013
that he couldn't bear
to have any other man touch her.
1429
02:01:53,723 --> 02:01:57,475
Yes, Inspector.
It's the old familiar pattern:
1430
02:01:57,935 --> 02:01:59,811
Crime of passion.
1431
02:02:01,731 --> 02:02:04,316
Nestor, is that true?
1432
02:02:06,569 --> 02:02:07,610
Yes.
1433
02:02:08,070 --> 02:02:10,030
You did it because you loved me?
1434
02:02:10,239 --> 02:02:11,614
Now you know.
1435
02:02:13,951 --> 02:02:16,578
And I'd kill any other
man who came near you!
1436
02:02:17,580 --> 02:02:21,374
Gets you right here, doesn't it?
Take him away!
1437
02:02:22,501 --> 02:02:23,918
Nestor, I love you!
1438
02:02:24,211 --> 02:02:27,589
And I'll wait for you,
no matter how long it takes!
1439
02:02:40,019 --> 02:02:44,606
You won't have to wait very long.
This is France, a civilized country.
1440
02:02:44,690 --> 02:02:46,691
L'amour, toujours l'amour.
1441
02:02:47,360 --> 02:02:49,652
When the jury hears my summation:
1442
02:02:49,779 --> 02:02:52,614
Two people in the gutter
reaching for the stars...
1443
02:02:52,823 --> 02:02:54,491
They'll cry, they'll cheer.
1444
02:02:54,617 --> 02:02:58,119
They'll carry him out of the courtroom
on their shoulders!
1445
02:03:14,053 --> 02:03:15,428
Patou!
1446
02:03:20,184 --> 02:03:21,351
Patou!
1447
02:03:27,400 --> 02:03:29,692
There's a visitor here to see you.
1448
02:03:49,672 --> 02:03:51,005
It's you.
1449
02:03:54,969 --> 02:03:58,972
- You're lucky I can't get my hands on you!
- That's no way to talk to your lawyer.
1450
02:03:59,014 --> 02:04:01,891
Right! You were to get me off scot-free.
Crime of passion.
1451
02:04:01,976 --> 02:04:05,520
- Carry me out of court on their shoulders.
- You can't win 'em all.
1452
02:04:05,563 --> 02:04:08,481
Fifteen years at hard labor. For what?
1453
02:04:08,649 --> 02:04:10,900
It's too bad you didn't
get sentenced to death.
1454
02:04:10,985 --> 02:04:13,111
Then I could have had it commuted to life.
1455
02:04:13,195 --> 02:04:15,989
With good behavior,
I could've gotten you parole by Christmas.
1456
02:04:16,198 --> 02:04:19,617
But a 15-year sentence,
that's neither here nor there.
1457
02:04:21,036 --> 02:04:23,371
Never mind that.
Tell me about Irma. How is she?
1458
02:04:23,456 --> 02:04:25,165
She's fine.
1459
02:04:25,458 --> 02:04:28,751
- Here, I brought you a little souvenir.
- Thanks.
1460
02:04:30,212 --> 02:04:33,715
Why doesn't she come to see me anymore?
Why haven't I heard from her?
1461
02:04:33,841 --> 02:04:36,718
- She doesn't want you to find out.
- Find out what?
1462
02:04:36,802 --> 02:04:40,305
- She's not on the street again?
- No. That's all over.
1463
02:04:40,389 --> 02:04:42,599
She's working in the market as a cashier.
1464
02:04:42,892 --> 02:04:45,101
Then, what is it? I want to know!
1465
02:04:45,186 --> 02:04:47,312
- She's expecting.
- Who?
1466
02:04:47,396 --> 02:04:48,396
Who do you think?
1467
02:04:48,439 --> 02:04:50,899
She's out to here.
She's going to have a baby.
1468
02:04:50,983 --> 02:04:52,942
A baby? Are you sure?
1469
02:04:53,027 --> 02:04:55,904
I would be greatly disappointed
if it were anything else.
1470
02:04:55,988 --> 02:04:58,531
- When?
- Any day now.
1471
02:04:58,741 --> 02:05:02,744
Listen, I've got to get out of here!
I want to be with her. She needs me!
1472
02:05:02,995 --> 02:05:05,079
Here. I brought you another souvenir.
1473
02:05:05,247 --> 02:05:07,916
- More stockings?
- And another.
1474
02:05:09,376 --> 02:05:10,543
And another.
1475
02:05:11,003 --> 02:05:14,172
- Have you gone mad?
- And one more.
1476
02:05:14,256 --> 02:05:17,258
What am I gonna do with all
of these stockings?
1477
02:05:18,761 --> 02:05:20,929
If you don't want them,
throw them out the window.
1478
02:05:20,971 --> 02:05:25,058
But first, I would suggest
that you tie them all together.
1479
02:05:25,392 --> 02:05:26,476
What?
1480
02:06:00,678 --> 02:06:02,262
You can't park here.
1481
02:06:02,972 --> 02:06:05,348
There's something wrong with my motor.
1482
02:08:13,143 --> 02:08:14,310
Nestor!
1483
02:08:16,980 --> 02:08:19,440
What are you doing here?
How did you get away?
1484
02:08:19,525 --> 02:08:21,484
- Give me your hand.
- They let you out?
1485
02:08:21,568 --> 02:08:23,695
- Try this on.
- You escaped?
1486
02:08:23,779 --> 02:08:26,739
- Hold still.
- Darling, why did you do that?
1487
02:08:26,782 --> 02:08:30,702
- Now they'll give you another five years.
- I was afraid of that. It's too big.
1488
02:08:30,786 --> 02:08:33,454
- What's this?
- We're going to be married.
1489
02:08:33,539 --> 02:08:34,622
Married?
1490
02:08:34,665 --> 02:08:37,709
You want our child to be legitimate,
don't you?
1491
02:08:37,793 --> 02:08:40,628
- Yes. Of course.
- How is the baby?
1492
02:08:41,296 --> 02:08:42,672
Full of mischief.
1493
02:08:42,798 --> 02:08:45,174
Yesterday he kicked Coquette
right off my lap.
1494
02:08:45,259 --> 02:08:46,426
Takes after me.
1495
02:08:46,468 --> 02:08:49,846
You know, when I was 6 months old,
I could change my own diapers.
1496
02:08:52,891 --> 02:08:54,684
- Nestor?
- Yeah? What is it?
1497
02:08:54,768 --> 02:08:55,977
I can't marry you.
1498
02:08:56,061 --> 02:08:58,438
What do you mean, you can't marry me?
1499
02:08:58,480 --> 02:09:00,106
Because I love you.
1500
02:09:01,400 --> 02:09:04,652
- You love me, so you can't marry me?
- That's right.
1501
02:09:04,945 --> 02:09:08,197
Because it isn't our baby.
You're not the father.
1502
02:09:08,991 --> 02:09:10,283
I'm not...
1503
02:09:11,201 --> 02:09:13,411
Who's the father? I'll kill him!
1504
02:09:13,537 --> 02:09:16,080
You already did. It was Lord X.
1505
02:09:16,999 --> 02:09:18,166
Lord X?
1506
02:09:20,252 --> 02:09:24,922
- What makes you think that...
- A woman always knows these things.
1507
02:09:26,175 --> 02:09:28,509
I don't care. I'll marry you anyway!
1508
02:09:28,552 --> 02:09:32,221
And I'll raise it
just as if it were my own child.
1509
02:09:53,994 --> 02:09:56,287
They've got the place surrounded!
1510
02:09:57,748 --> 02:10:01,083
Maybe you could go through
the kitchen window and over the roof.
1511
02:10:02,377 --> 02:10:04,337
No. I prefer the closet!
1512
02:10:05,547 --> 02:10:07,924
The closet?
That's the first place they'll look!
1513
02:10:14,306 --> 02:10:16,057
Open up! Police!
1514
02:10:20,145 --> 02:10:22,271
Come on! We know he's in there!
1515
02:10:33,826 --> 02:10:35,868
All right! Where's Nestor?
1516
02:10:36,328 --> 02:10:39,997
Don't you know? He's in jail.
You can visit him every other Sunday.
1517
02:10:40,082 --> 02:10:42,458
Cute. Let's search the place!
1518
02:11:11,613 --> 02:11:14,699
- He's not in there.
- Not in there.
1519
02:12:02,205 --> 02:12:05,041
- Not under here.
- He's not under here.
1520
02:12:07,836 --> 02:12:12,173
Come here, everybody.
This is the man we're looking for.
1521
02:12:42,579 --> 02:12:43,829
No sign of him.
1522
02:12:44,748 --> 02:12:46,290
No sign of him.
1523
02:12:48,251 --> 02:12:50,920
Tell him he'd better give himself up,
or he spends
1524
02:12:51,004 --> 02:12:52,964
the rest of his life behind bars!
1525
02:12:53,382 --> 02:12:54,966
Let's go, men.
1526
02:12:59,513 --> 02:13:01,555
- What's the matter?
- Nothing.
1527
02:13:02,349 --> 02:13:03,891
Let's go, men!
1528
02:13:13,318 --> 02:13:15,236
Did you hear what he said?
1529
02:13:16,238 --> 02:13:17,905
What are you going to do?
1530
02:13:18,115 --> 02:13:20,992
The first thing I have
to do is exchange the ring.
1531
02:13:21,243 --> 02:13:24,954
But we can't get married now.
You must run! You must hide!
1532
02:13:25,038 --> 02:13:26,163
Nonsense!
1533
02:13:26,248 --> 02:13:29,750
We'll have a big church wedding
with ushers and bridesmaids and flowers.
1534
02:13:29,835 --> 02:13:34,046
- Moustache is making the arrangements.
- But they'll catch you and lock you away.
1535
02:13:34,172 --> 02:13:37,133
- I'm so afraid I'll never see you again.
- Don't be afraid.
1536
02:13:37,217 --> 02:13:40,761
- Maybe a miracle will happen.
- I don't believe in miracles.
1537
02:13:40,846 --> 02:13:42,179
Don't you?
1538
02:13:43,098 --> 02:13:45,057
When I met you, you were a streetwalker.
1539
02:13:45,100 --> 02:13:48,060
Now you're going to
be a wife and a mother.
1540
02:13:48,103 --> 02:13:49,937
Isn't that a miracle?
1541
02:13:57,320 --> 02:14:00,406
They're wasting their time
looking for him in Irma's apartment.
1542
02:14:00,449 --> 02:14:01,907
Don't worry. They'll catch him.
1543
02:14:01,950 --> 02:14:03,951
No, they won't. Too much brains.
1544
02:14:04,036 --> 02:14:06,120
You mean Nestor's smarter
than the police force?
1545
02:14:06,204 --> 02:14:09,457
No, but I am.
They're up against a mastermind.
1546
02:14:11,543 --> 02:14:14,170
I bet by now
you have him on a boat to South America.
1547
02:14:14,254 --> 02:14:16,505
- Guess again.
- To Hong Kong?
1548
02:14:17,924 --> 02:14:19,675
He's right here in town.
1549
02:14:20,385 --> 02:14:23,596
- You don't say!
- It's ordinary common sense.
1550
02:14:23,889 --> 02:14:27,016
You've heard about a criminal
returning to the scene of the crime?
1551
02:14:27,100 --> 02:14:28,684
- Yes.
- That's so obvious.
1552
02:14:28,769 --> 02:14:30,644
The police'd never think to look there!
1553
02:14:30,687 --> 02:14:34,607
- He's hiding under the same bridge...
- Yeah. The Pont Royal.
1554
02:14:36,985 --> 02:14:39,862
If you open up your mouth
about this to anyone...
1555
02:14:39,946 --> 02:14:41,947
Me? Squeal on a colleague?
1556
02:14:42,074 --> 02:14:45,785
There's such a thing
as the code of the underworld, you know.
1557
02:15:05,597 --> 02:15:08,808
Desk Sergeant,
connect me with Inspector Lefevre.
1558
02:15:10,227 --> 02:15:13,562
Just tell him I
want to squeal on a colleague.
1559
02:16:30,098 --> 02:16:33,017
- You!
- I beg your pardon?
1560
02:16:33,310 --> 02:16:36,520
- You're supposed to be dead, murdered!
- Are you quite sure?
1561
02:16:36,605 --> 02:16:38,606
I saw it with my own eyes.
1562
02:16:38,690 --> 02:16:42,067
Sorry to disappoint you, old boy,
but other than a slight headache
1563
02:16:42,110 --> 02:16:44,612
I'm feeling absolutely chapper.
I mean chipper!
1564
02:16:44,779 --> 02:16:47,198
We've been dragging the river
for nine months!
1565
02:16:47,282 --> 02:16:48,616
Where have you been?
1566
02:16:48,700 --> 02:16:51,076
Fair question. Now, let me see.
1567
02:16:51,703 --> 02:16:53,329
I haven't the foggiest.
1568
02:16:53,622 --> 02:16:58,167
All I can remember is that
the climate was rather wet and fishy.
1569
02:16:58,251 --> 02:16:59,627
It was quite good.
1570
02:16:59,711 --> 02:17:02,463
Now, I trust that
clears things up satisfactorily.
1571
02:17:02,505 --> 02:17:05,257
So, cheerio, pip pip, and carry on.
1572
02:17:42,837 --> 02:17:44,296
Are you all right?
1573
02:17:44,339 --> 02:17:46,674
The pains are coming
every two minutes now.
1574
02:17:46,800 --> 02:17:49,301
Just try to hold on a little longer.
1575
02:17:58,853 --> 02:18:00,562
Where's the groom?
1576
02:18:09,406 --> 02:18:13,158
Don't worry, if worse comes to worst,
I'll marry you myself.
1577
02:18:35,056 --> 02:18:37,558
- You look lovely.
- Later, later.
1578
02:18:39,394 --> 02:18:43,230
Nestor, wilt thou take Irma, here present,
for thy lawful wife
1579
02:18:43,273 --> 02:18:46,066
according to the rite
of Our Holy Mother the Church?
1580
02:18:46,109 --> 02:18:47,318
I will.
1581
02:18:47,485 --> 02:18:51,238
Irma, wilt thou take Nestor, here present,
for thy lawful husband
1582
02:18:51,323 --> 02:18:53,741
according to the rite
of Our Holy Mother the Church?
1583
02:18:53,783 --> 02:18:54,867
I will.
1584
02:19:47,295 --> 02:19:50,547
- With this ring, I thee wed.
- "With this ring, I thee wed."
1585
02:19:50,632 --> 02:19:54,134
- And I pledge thee my fidelity.
- "And I pledge thee my fidelity."
1586
02:20:04,521 --> 02:20:06,271
Just a minute, Patou.
1587
02:20:08,024 --> 02:20:10,401
Congratulations.
It was a touching ceremony.
1588
02:20:10,485 --> 02:20:12,194
Thanks. Nice of you to show up.
1589
02:20:12,278 --> 02:20:14,988
We're planning a reception for you
at the police station.
1590
02:20:15,031 --> 02:20:16,865
Can't it wait? My wife is about...
1591
02:20:16,950 --> 02:20:20,035
A hoax has been perpetrated.
I intend to get to the bottom of it!
1592
02:20:20,120 --> 02:20:23,205
- You can't arrest me in a church.
- Arrest you?
1593
02:20:23,289 --> 02:20:26,500
I want you to rejoin the police force
and help us solve this case.
1594
02:20:26,543 --> 02:20:28,752
Rejoin the force? I'd like that.
1595
02:20:28,837 --> 02:20:31,880
Not unless I can have my old job
at the children's playground?
1596
02:20:31,965 --> 02:20:34,716
The children's playground?
Work for peanuts and jellybeans?
1597
02:20:34,801 --> 02:20:37,970
I'm crazy about children!
I'm about to have one myself.
1598
02:20:40,640 --> 02:20:43,100
I just had it. Excuse me.
1599
02:20:54,529 --> 02:20:58,031
It's a girl. Smoothest delivery I ever had.
1600
02:20:58,366 --> 02:20:59,741
She's beautiful.
1601
02:21:00,410 --> 02:21:01,410
You delivered the baby?
1602
02:21:01,494 --> 02:21:05,038
Why not? I used to be Chief Obstetrician
in French Equatorial Africa
1603
02:21:05,081 --> 02:21:06,874
under Dr. Schweitzer.
1604
02:21:12,046 --> 02:21:13,380
Nestor.
1605
02:21:17,719 --> 02:21:21,722
- They're not taking you away?
- Never. You can call me Officer Patou.
1606
02:21:21,764 --> 02:21:23,891
- What happened?
- Not now.
1607
02:21:25,560 --> 02:21:27,561
Let me hold her.
1608
02:21:30,690 --> 02:21:33,609
It's going to be such fun bringing her up.
1609
02:21:34,027 --> 02:21:37,070
I'll put her in
organdy dresses with pinafores.
1610
02:21:37,155 --> 02:21:38,155
Yeah.
1611
02:21:38,239 --> 02:21:40,908
And get her some green stockings
and a puppy.
1612
02:21:40,950 --> 02:21:42,910
Yeah... No.
1613
02:21:43,161 --> 02:21:45,746
No green stockings, no puppy.
1614
02:21:46,122 --> 02:21:47,915
- No?
- No.
1615
02:22:17,403 --> 02:22:18,737
Cheery-bye.
1616
02:22:30,124 --> 02:22:31,625
But that's another story.
120525