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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,990 --> 00:00:03,139 I'm officially divorced. Now what? 2 00:00:03,140 --> 00:00:04,310 You know, it's like one minute you're married, 3 00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:05,590 the next minute, it's like, "Yeah, buh-bye. 4 00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:06,609 See ya. Nice knowin' ya." 5 00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:10,430 I'm the bad guy. He's the noble one. 6 00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:13,170 I got sole custody of Lila's inner bitch. 7 00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:15,150 You're not going to work like that, are you? 8 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:17,080 Frances, I would like you to meet Andrew. 9 00:00:17,090 --> 00:00:20,400 I spent so much time focusing on the divorce, 10 00:00:20,410 --> 00:00:22,730 I didn't even let myself think about the future. 11 00:00:22,740 --> 00:00:24,070 This is for you, unless it turns out 12 00:00:24,080 --> 00:00:25,630 to have any value, then I'd like it back. 13 00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:27,550 I keep painting them, and every day, 14 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:29,230 I keep realizing they're shit. 15 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:32,840 Finish a painting. For both of us. 16 00:00:33,860 --> 00:00:36,190 I'm Jackie. My daughter and I are moving into the neighborhood. 17 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:37,770 How do you have a Tesla? 18 00:00:37,780 --> 00:00:40,219 It's my... friend woman's. 19 00:00:40,220 --> 00:00:41,639 You mean "girlfriend"? 20 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:44,139 Thank you for the invite. It was very big of you. 21 00:00:44,140 --> 00:00:46,170 If he's happy, I'm happy. 22 00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:47,810 I probably should be thanking you. 23 00:00:47,820 --> 00:00:50,180 - For what? - For divorcing him. 24 00:00:50,190 --> 00:00:53,450 If you could paint a few more, we have a show. 25 00:00:53,460 --> 00:00:54,930 That prick from the auction, he's here. 26 00:00:54,940 --> 00:00:56,319 Can I take you out for dinner sometime? 27 00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:59,330 I would feel impolite accepting when I'm here with someone else. 28 00:00:59,340 --> 00:01:01,410 It's too soon for me to be getting involved. 29 00:01:01,420 --> 00:01:02,750 Yeah, I think my exact words were, 30 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:04,990 "You were a walking disaster." And my instincts were right. 31 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,690 Skip Zakarian wants to rep me. 32 00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:08,629 This means that we won't be working together. 33 00:01:08,630 --> 00:01:10,589 Thanks for everything. I'm done here. 34 00:01:10,590 --> 00:01:14,250 Robert and Jackie wanna take the kids to Europe this summer. 35 00:01:14,260 --> 00:01:15,910 You know what would be fun to do in Italy? 36 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:18,590 - Buy leather. - Get married. Will you marry me? 37 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:20,509 Hello, hello, hello. 38 00:01:20,510 --> 00:01:21,590 The police are here. 39 00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:23,390 You embezzled 12 million dollars from your client? 40 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:24,979 Diane, I love you, Diane! 41 00:01:24,980 --> 00:01:26,139 Oh, my god. 42 00:01:26,140 --> 00:01:27,600 Jackie and I are getting married. 43 00:01:28,540 --> 00:01:31,899 Hey, it's me. So yeah, so take the kids to Italy. 44 00:01:31,900 --> 00:01:32,940 Have fun. 45 00:02:21,953 --> 00:02:24,956 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 46 00:02:28,500 --> 00:02:30,099 Tom, hurry up! 47 00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:32,000 - Tom! - Yeah, one sec! 48 00:02:32,640 --> 00:02:34,049 Move! 49 00:02:34,050 --> 00:02:35,969 There's water everywhere! 50 00:02:35,970 --> 00:02:37,839 Tom! 51 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:40,810 Tom, the shower curtain, okay? 52 00:02:52,735 --> 00:02:54,569 Oh, God! 53 00:02:54,570 --> 00:02:56,489 Oh, goddammit! 54 00:02:57,320 --> 00:03:00,529 It's about to sound worse than it is. 55 00:03:00,530 --> 00:03:01,599 What? 56 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:03,819 I knew it was going too well. Is everything okay? 57 00:03:03,820 --> 00:03:06,929 Everything is fine, but you have placenta previa. 58 00:03:06,930 --> 00:03:09,042 Don't know what that means. Don't like it. 59 00:03:09,043 --> 00:03:10,961 Your placenta's a little low. 60 00:03:10,962 --> 00:03:13,422 Still don't know what that means. Still don't like it. 61 00:03:13,423 --> 00:03:15,179 Jack, the baby will be fine, 62 00:03:15,180 --> 00:03:16,809 but you're gonna have to be on bed rest. 63 00:03:16,810 --> 00:03:18,219 Oh. Okay. 64 00:03:18,220 --> 00:03:19,239 Oh, good, 65 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:20,549 I thought you were gonna freak out on me. 66 00:03:20,550 --> 00:03:22,419 No, of course not. I mean... 67 00:03:22,420 --> 00:03:23,919 whatever's best for the baby. 68 00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:26,419 And you don't mean like actual bed rest, right? 69 00:03:26,420 --> 00:03:27,810 Just like no kickboxing classes? 70 00:03:27,812 --> 00:03:30,189 Bed rest as in your ass doesn't leave the mattress. 71 00:03:30,190 --> 00:03:31,879 How long does that go on? 72 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:33,359 Until I say it's okay. 73 00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:35,359 Oh. Okay, so... 74 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:37,819 Wait, like I can't go to work? 75 00:03:37,820 --> 00:03:39,019 - No. - Drive? 76 00:03:39,020 --> 00:03:41,610 - No. - Sex? 77 00:03:41,617 --> 00:03:44,911 She asked, but, you know, I'm mildly curious. 78 00:03:44,912 --> 00:03:46,709 Don't even think about it. 79 00:03:46,710 --> 00:03:48,498 We're supposed to get married next week. 80 00:03:48,499 --> 00:03:50,179 Should I be scared? 81 00:03:50,180 --> 00:03:52,309 Of the pregnancy? No. 82 00:03:52,310 --> 00:03:53,379 Of marriage? 83 00:03:53,380 --> 00:03:54,838 All three of mine were train wrecks. 84 00:03:54,839 --> 00:03:57,150 See you in two weeks. 85 00:03:58,220 --> 00:04:01,919 Oh, hi, honey. It's your mom. 86 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:04,139 Um, 'cause that's what moms do, 87 00:04:04,140 --> 00:04:05,659 they call. 88 00:04:05,660 --> 00:04:07,789 And when they don't hear back, 89 00:04:07,790 --> 00:04:10,459 they call again, so... 90 00:04:10,460 --> 00:04:12,069 Kidding! Um... 91 00:04:12,070 --> 00:04:15,570 Call me! I love you! Bye-bye. 92 00:04:20,610 --> 00:04:22,450 I, um... 93 00:04:23,010 --> 00:04:25,059 Made you a quinoa jar for later. 94 00:04:25,060 --> 00:04:27,979 Aw, that's so sweet, but I'm gonna try to get 95 00:04:27,980 --> 00:04:30,099 those bitches from accessories to invite me out. 96 00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:32,349 I'm still trying to make some friends. 97 00:04:32,350 --> 00:04:34,289 It's a rough schoolyard. 98 00:04:34,290 --> 00:04:35,630 Oh. Okay. 99 00:04:39,830 --> 00:04:41,635 Thought you liked my jars. 100 00:04:41,636 --> 00:04:44,262 Oh, my God, Dallas. 101 00:04:44,263 --> 00:04:46,848 I do. I love your quinoa jars 102 00:04:46,849 --> 00:04:48,600 and your pasta pesto salad jars 103 00:04:48,601 --> 00:04:50,239 and everything you put in jars. 104 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:52,219 But you've gotta get off my back, okay? 105 00:04:52,220 --> 00:04:54,439 This is gonna be a really difficult week for me! 106 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:56,379 So please be sensitive! 107 00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:59,820 Well, that is why I felt you needed nurturing! 108 00:04:59,821 --> 00:05:01,179 You're not my mother, 109 00:05:01,180 --> 00:05:02,989 and you're never going to be my mother! 110 00:05:02,990 --> 00:05:04,649 And we have to leave in ten! 111 00:05:04,650 --> 00:05:06,820 Wear your heavy socks! 112 00:05:07,850 --> 00:05:09,779 Childish! 113 00:05:13,410 --> 00:05:16,539 So I... so I knock it off the ceiling with a broom... 114 00:05:16,540 --> 00:05:17,549 Ewww! 115 00:05:17,550 --> 00:05:19,519 It runs across the floor like a thoroughbred, 116 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:22,269 so I corner it, right, but then I accidentally drop the broom. 117 00:05:22,270 --> 00:05:26,979 And sensing my-my-my weakness, my vulnerability, 118 00:05:26,980 --> 00:05:29,439 the little fucker started chasing me! 119 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:31,339 - Ugh! - Yeah, and then... 120 00:05:31,340 --> 00:05:34,279 Then it started flying! 121 00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:38,819 I could literally hear its disgusting wings, 122 00:05:38,820 --> 00:05:40,819 like, flapping past me. 123 00:05:40,820 --> 00:05:42,999 Oh, my God! It's Jurassic Park! 124 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:45,859 God, Lila's screaming, Tom's laughing at me, 125 00:05:45,860 --> 00:05:48,729 but I finally, I was able to suck it up with my DustBuster. 126 00:05:48,730 --> 00:05:51,788 And then cleverly, I sealed the opening with packing tape. 127 00:05:51,789 --> 00:05:53,769 I told you not to move into that place. 128 00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:56,699 Uh, ooh, no, I believe the quote was, 129 00:05:56,700 --> 00:05:57,794 "You go, girl!" 130 00:05:57,795 --> 00:05:59,639 Hmm, I don't remember that. 131 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:01,019 Well, anyway, it doesn't matter. 132 00:06:01,020 --> 00:06:02,759 The move was good. Everybody needed a change. 133 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:05,679 I just... I simply forgot about bugs in New York City. 134 00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:08,799 Ugh, well I hope that Henry kills them for you when he's around. 135 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:11,260 - Like a trained assassin. - Oh, that's a good boyfriend. 136 00:06:11,267 --> 00:06:13,739 Well, I don't... 137 00:06:13,740 --> 00:06:14,769 What? 138 00:06:14,770 --> 00:06:16,139 We're not, you know... 139 00:06:16,140 --> 00:06:18,329 We're not really playing it like that. 140 00:06:18,330 --> 00:06:20,419 Oh, so how exactly are you "playing it"? 141 00:06:20,420 --> 00:06:22,379 I don't know. We haven't gotten into it. 142 00:06:22,380 --> 00:06:23,399 And, anyway, who cares? 143 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:25,619 Oh, please, obviously you don't mean that. 144 00:06:25,620 --> 00:06:27,019 No, I mean that. 145 00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:29,701 Hey, I have some very exciting news! 146 00:06:29,702 --> 00:06:30,994 - Good! What? - Well... 147 00:06:30,995 --> 00:06:33,009 You're getting a new roommate! 148 00:06:33,010 --> 00:06:34,915 - What? - Yeah! 149 00:06:34,916 --> 00:06:36,209 I'm gonna be staying with you 150 00:06:36,210 --> 00:06:37,834 on the nights the kids are with Robert! 151 00:06:37,835 --> 00:06:39,409 Wait, so... 152 00:06:39,410 --> 00:06:41,279 you're gonna... you wanna... 153 00:06:41,280 --> 00:06:42,999 you wanna live with me on the nights 154 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:44,920 that I have the whole apartment to myself? 155 00:06:44,926 --> 00:06:46,199 She crushes up vitamins 156 00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:48,219 and puts them in my cereal, Frances! 157 00:06:48,220 --> 00:06:49,559 It's calcium. 158 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:52,339 And someday you're gonna take a fall and get right up, 159 00:06:52,340 --> 00:06:53,930 and you're gonna have me to thank for it. 160 00:06:53,935 --> 00:06:55,429 You won't even know that I'm there. 161 00:06:55,430 --> 00:06:56,499 I promise. 162 00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:58,369 So... 163 00:06:58,370 --> 00:07:01,719 It's like Dallas and I are sharing joint custody of you? 164 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:02,839 - Yes, exactly! - Okay... 165 00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:04,239 - That's exactly what it is. - That's terrific. 166 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:05,569 And you know what? I could make up a calendar. 167 00:07:05,570 --> 00:07:07,740 Please don't make a calendar. 168 00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:09,309 Okay. 169 00:07:09,310 --> 00:07:13,849 Frances, I'm gonna see Nick tomorrow... 170 00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:15,979 - ... in prison. - Fine. 171 00:07:15,980 --> 00:07:17,579 Yay! Oh, thank you, Frances! 172 00:07:17,580 --> 00:07:18,799 Thank you, thank you, thank you! 173 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:20,550 - You won't regret it. - You're welcome. 174 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:24,290 Wow. 175 00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:27,399 Things really haven't turned out 176 00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:29,599 the way they were supposed to, have they? 177 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,800 - Fucking no. - It's all shit. 178 00:07:33,330 --> 00:07:37,069 Well, no one can ever tell you you didn't try. 179 00:07:37,070 --> 00:07:39,469 No. I really did. 180 00:07:39,470 --> 00:07:42,710 I put up a good fight, but... 181 00:07:44,010 --> 00:07:48,320 in the end, I lost the Battle of Hastings. 182 00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:50,824 First off, 183 00:07:50,825 --> 00:07:54,077 I am so, so sorry. 184 00:07:54,078 --> 00:07:58,289 I can really tell how much love you've put into this place. 185 00:07:58,290 --> 00:07:59,790 Thanks. 186 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:01,979 Electrical? 187 00:08:01,980 --> 00:08:05,199 Yeah, unfortunate combination of bad wiring 188 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:07,289 and an artist that worked in neon. 189 00:08:07,290 --> 00:08:08,920 Oh, yeah, neon. 190 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,429 Anyway, um... 191 00:08:12,430 --> 00:08:16,579 Do you think that maybe you can give me... 192 00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:19,779 even just like a hint of what I might expect? 193 00:08:21,110 --> 00:08:23,959 They would kill me for giving you an estimate, 194 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,989 but the most they would probably give you is 195 00:08:26,990 --> 00:08:30,299 $2,000 to $3,000. I am so sorry. 196 00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:32,299 Jeez, I made like five times that amount 197 00:08:32,300 --> 00:08:33,929 on my last show alone. 198 00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:36,539 I know, it's awful. 199 00:08:36,540 --> 00:08:40,329 But the paintings that were here during the fire, 200 00:08:40,330 --> 00:08:42,999 they had no proven value. 201 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,599 What? 202 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,879 Of course they did. What... ? 203 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:48,339 I mean, people were going to buy them. 204 00:08:48,340 --> 00:08:50,319 They all... they all had stickers. 205 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:52,199 Well, in my line of work, 206 00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:56,499 I've found that people can use this as an opportunity 207 00:08:56,500 --> 00:08:58,009 to make a big change. 208 00:08:58,010 --> 00:09:00,259 This was my change. 209 00:09:00,260 --> 00:09:02,854 This was all I wanted my entire life. 210 00:09:02,855 --> 00:09:05,159 Well, I'm sure you've been looking, right? 211 00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:06,179 A lot, yeah. 212 00:09:06,180 --> 00:09:09,460 It just seems no one's hiring... me. 213 00:09:13,199 --> 00:09:14,800 Okay. 214 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:41,768 All right, here's some necessary bed rations. 215 00:09:41,769 --> 00:09:44,129 Thank you. 216 00:09:44,130 --> 00:09:45,199 I'm gonna run some errands. 217 00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:47,395 I'm gonna swing by a couple of job sites. 218 00:09:47,396 --> 00:09:48,879 Are you sure you're gonna be okay 219 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:50,152 on the Dick Cheney torture bed? 220 00:09:50,153 --> 00:09:51,199 Oh, please. 221 00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:53,199 It'll take a lot more than a metal bar up my ass 222 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:55,239 - to get me to talk. - Good stuff. 223 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:57,399 But don't try to take a nap, 224 00:09:57,400 --> 00:10:00,159 because sleeper sofas are not for sleeping. 225 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:02,279 Do not worry. I have everything I need. 226 00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:03,879 I've got my computer, 227 00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:07,089 my phone, remote, snacks... 228 00:10:07,090 --> 00:10:08,294 tweezer, mirror. 229 00:10:08,295 --> 00:10:10,860 I'm going to crush it on bed rest. 230 00:10:11,620 --> 00:10:12,689 Mwah! 231 00:10:12,690 --> 00:10:16,159 And I'm gonna kick this to-do list in the dick. 232 00:10:17,220 --> 00:10:19,099 I'm gonna beat on it like a fly-swatter. 233 00:10:28,710 --> 00:10:30,441 Here, let me help you out with that. 234 00:10:30,442 --> 00:10:31,639 Thank you. 235 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:34,405 Ah, come here, buddy. 236 00:10:41,660 --> 00:10:42,859 Huh. 237 00:10:42,860 --> 00:10:45,759 What do you think? Father? 238 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:47,430 Grandfather? 239 00:10:49,260 --> 00:10:51,160 There's no wrong answer here. 240 00:11:05,550 --> 00:11:08,159 Hello, I'm Frances Everdell. Is Skip here? 241 00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:10,059 Can I ask what this is in regards to? 242 00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:12,525 Sure, I'm-I'm looking for a job. 243 00:11:12,526 --> 00:11:14,944 Like, right off the street? 244 00:11:14,945 --> 00:11:16,863 Yep, right off the street. 245 00:11:16,864 --> 00:11:18,656 How does that even work? 246 00:11:18,657 --> 00:11:19,959 Uh, well, you just... 247 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:21,201 I'm sorry. 248 00:11:21,202 --> 00:11:22,577 I'm Jendra. 249 00:11:22,578 --> 00:11:23,745 I know who you are. 250 00:11:23,746 --> 00:11:25,705 - You do? - We all do. 251 00:11:25,706 --> 00:11:28,583 Skip stole Sylvia from you. You called him an asshole. 252 00:11:28,584 --> 00:11:31,336 Oh, shit, sorry. 253 00:11:31,337 --> 00:11:34,214 No one calls Skip an asshole. Hi. 254 00:11:34,215 --> 00:11:35,709 Yeah. 255 00:11:35,710 --> 00:11:37,309 Are you really looking for a job? 256 00:11:37,310 --> 00:11:38,649 Yeah. 257 00:11:38,650 --> 00:11:40,509 Yeah, 'cause, um... 258 00:11:40,510 --> 00:11:42,119 my... 'cause my previous one, 259 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:43,640 I just felt like I outgrew it. 260 00:11:43,641 --> 00:11:47,101 - And you decided to come here? - You've got such fucking nerve! 261 00:11:47,102 --> 00:11:49,479 Stop, stop. Anyway... 262 00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:51,559 Yeah, so I'm, you know, I have a bunch of offers. 263 00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:53,589 I have tons of offers. I just... 264 00:11:53,590 --> 00:11:54,929 Nothing's, you know... 265 00:11:54,930 --> 00:11:59,469 nothing has felt right thus far, so... 266 00:11:59,470 --> 00:12:02,033 Skip does love seeing people grovel. 267 00:12:02,034 --> 00:12:04,409 Oh. Shocking. 268 00:12:04,410 --> 00:12:05,819 But he's in Auckland right now. 269 00:12:05,820 --> 00:12:07,419 Great, so maybe when he gets back, 270 00:12:07,420 --> 00:12:09,660 could you just... you could ask him? 271 00:12:09,667 --> 00:12:11,209 I'm sorry. 272 00:12:11,210 --> 00:12:13,779 He'd probably fire me just for asking. 273 00:12:13,780 --> 00:12:16,619 Actually, the idea of it is already stressing me out. 274 00:12:16,620 --> 00:12:18,180 Right. 275 00:12:18,950 --> 00:12:20,660 'Cause he's an asshole. 276 00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:26,189 Okay. 277 00:12:26,190 --> 00:12:28,330 Thank you. 278 00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:31,479 Carlos? 279 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:34,269 Hey, buddy, I need you to cover for me today. 280 00:12:34,270 --> 00:12:36,569 Uh, go by the Alberts', 281 00:12:36,570 --> 00:12:38,709 get that bathroom demo going. 282 00:12:38,710 --> 00:12:41,379 And then swing over to the Mission Avenue site 283 00:12:41,380 --> 00:12:44,339 and tear out the rest of that drywall. 284 00:12:44,340 --> 00:12:45,909 Eight grand? 285 00:12:45,910 --> 00:12:48,579 It's a 30 square-foot bathroom! 286 00:12:48,580 --> 00:12:50,979 You know what? Fuck it. I'm gonna go get a mask. 287 00:12:50,980 --> 00:12:53,919 I'll tear that shit out myself. 288 00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:56,589 Well, I would, 289 00:12:56,590 --> 00:12:58,760 but I have to go buy... 290 00:13:00,060 --> 00:13:01,900 Birthday Cake Popcorn? 291 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:05,129 Yeah. I know. 292 00:13:05,130 --> 00:13:08,980 All right. Later. 293 00:13:27,820 --> 00:13:29,959 I got the rest of the store in my truck. 294 00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:34,660 Um, how'd it go? Any problems? 295 00:13:34,668 --> 00:13:36,359 I learned how to save someone's life 296 00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:38,547 if they've been bitten by a black mamba. 297 00:13:38,548 --> 00:13:40,779 Well, I held a toddler 298 00:13:40,780 --> 00:13:42,301 and looked like a fucking mummy. 299 00:13:43,900 --> 00:13:46,095 Oh, oh, come here. 300 00:13:46,096 --> 00:13:48,140 Come here. 301 00:13:49,710 --> 00:13:51,309 We talked about this. 302 00:13:51,310 --> 00:13:53,709 I am sexy second wife, 303 00:13:53,710 --> 00:13:56,219 and you are hot older dad. 304 00:13:58,250 --> 00:14:00,039 Thank you. 305 00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:01,730 I'm crazy about you, 306 00:14:01,737 --> 00:14:04,119 and I'm over the moon about the baby. 307 00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:06,529 Just not looking forward to, 308 00:14:06,530 --> 00:14:08,819 "Hey, Grandpa, take it easy in the sandbox." 309 00:14:12,130 --> 00:14:15,599 Maybe it's time to rethink things, 310 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:19,379 steer the old ship of dreams back to port. 311 00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:21,399 I'm sorry, I mean, you just hit a rough patch. 312 00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:23,959 - It'll get better. - No, no, no. I'm sorry, 313 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:26,159 I need a steely-eyed professional. 314 00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:28,679 This is a very urgent fork in the road. 315 00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:32,559 Okay, would you like me to take notes? 316 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:35,089 Yes, please, if you feel it's appropriate. 317 00:14:35,090 --> 00:14:38,019 Okay, so... 318 00:14:38,020 --> 00:14:41,734 What brings you in here in the middle of the day? 319 00:14:41,735 --> 00:14:45,229 I have been working under the assumption... 320 00:14:45,230 --> 00:14:49,239 that I should try and find a job doing something, 321 00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:51,077 you know, I actually like. 322 00:14:51,078 --> 00:14:53,413 But after months of looking, 323 00:14:53,414 --> 00:14:57,010 it seems that idea has come to a dead-end, so... 324 00:14:58,580 --> 00:14:59,649 I think I... 325 00:14:59,650 --> 00:15:02,049 I think I just need to get a job. 326 00:15:02,050 --> 00:15:03,213 You know, any job. 327 00:15:03,214 --> 00:15:04,919 How would that make you feel? 328 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:06,509 I'm a big girl. I can do it. 329 00:15:06,510 --> 00:15:09,929 I just wish my future looked a little brighter, that's all. 330 00:15:09,930 --> 00:15:12,189 Mm-hmm, and you have, uh, 331 00:15:12,190 --> 00:15:14,259 one more interview left today, right? 332 00:15:14,260 --> 00:15:16,399 - An art thing? - Yep, an art thing. 333 00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:20,648 Okay, so you do your best, and if it goes really badly... 334 00:15:20,649 --> 00:15:22,719 I can always go back to sweeping chimneys. 335 00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:24,839 See? Things are looking up already! 336 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:26,839 You had a breakthrough! 337 00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:27,899 And your timing's perfect, 338 00:15:27,900 --> 00:15:29,959 because I have a real patient in five minutes. 339 00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:31,409 You're a miracle worker. 340 00:15:31,410 --> 00:15:33,310 I mean, no wonder you're booked solid. 341 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:37,899 Ah, I've always wanted to have a breakthrough. 342 00:15:37,900 --> 00:15:40,520 - Thank you. - All right, knock 'em dead. 343 00:16:04,650 --> 00:16:05,735 I'm Leo. 344 00:16:05,736 --> 00:16:07,737 Hello, I'm Frances Everdell. 345 00:16:07,738 --> 00:16:10,919 This is my sister, Bev. 346 00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:13,020 Hello, Bev. 347 00:16:15,190 --> 00:16:17,319 She's shy. 348 00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:19,665 Welcome to the New York Avian Society. 349 00:16:19,666 --> 00:16:22,239 Thank you. I'm sorry I'm not as familiar 350 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:24,119 with your organization as I'd like to be. 351 00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:26,039 Your website was just a cartoon bird 352 00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:28,529 with a jackhammer that said, "Under construction." 353 00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:29,869 Yes, we have to get on that. 354 00:16:29,870 --> 00:16:32,999 But I'm assuming that you do art projects 355 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:36,059 related to birds because of "Avian Society," 356 00:16:36,060 --> 00:16:38,279 which, for a minute, I thought was bees. 357 00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:40,849 But that's "apian." 358 00:16:40,850 --> 00:16:42,139 I looked that up. 359 00:16:42,140 --> 00:16:45,349 Right, so first thing, small correction. 360 00:16:45,350 --> 00:16:50,159 Someone posted this job in the wrong category! 361 00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:53,157 We have nothing to do with art. 362 00:16:53,158 --> 00:16:55,229 Oh. 363 00:16:55,230 --> 00:16:57,578 - Nothing? - Unless you count the little boxes 364 00:16:57,579 --> 00:17:00,373 I draw on my legal pad every day. 365 00:17:00,374 --> 00:17:02,899 So what does your society do? 366 00:17:02,900 --> 00:17:05,349 We're dedicated to the appreciation and protection 367 00:17:05,350 --> 00:17:06,579 of the birds of New York City. 368 00:17:06,580 --> 00:17:08,739 Urban birds. 369 00:17:08,740 --> 00:17:11,092 It was founded by our Great Aunt Leonard. 370 00:17:11,093 --> 00:17:14,428 You know, Red Tailed Hawks, House Sparrows... 371 00:17:14,429 --> 00:17:17,807 Laughing Gulls, Rock Pigeons, Eastern Bluebirds... 372 00:17:17,808 --> 00:17:19,475 Jesus, Bev, she gets it! 373 00:17:19,476 --> 00:17:21,687 It's a fairly simple concept! 374 00:17:29,930 --> 00:17:32,639 My God, what a coincidence. 375 00:17:32,640 --> 00:17:34,469 What? 376 00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:38,139 I'm a... I'm... I'm a bird aficionado. 377 00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:39,939 - Really? - Yes! Yes! 378 00:17:39,940 --> 00:17:42,666 No, I am bananas about birds! 379 00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:44,609 Um... 380 00:17:44,610 --> 00:17:48,059 parakeets and seagulls and, um... 381 00:17:48,060 --> 00:17:50,089 I'm the one that's always nice to pigeons. 382 00:17:50,090 --> 00:17:51,279 And... 383 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:53,599 And who wouldn't be mesmerized by the... 384 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:56,279 by the majesty of the Eastern Blackbird. 385 00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:57,599 - Bluebird. - Bluebird! 386 00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:59,029 Bluebird, Bluebird. 387 00:17:59,030 --> 00:18:01,429 No, no, I would be proud, I would be honored 388 00:18:01,430 --> 00:18:03,559 to help New Yorkers understand 389 00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:07,356 and... and... and protect our urban birds. 390 00:18:07,357 --> 00:18:08,774 Interesting. 391 00:18:08,775 --> 00:18:11,559 And, Bev, um, as a former headhunter, 392 00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:13,480 I know how difficult it is 393 00:18:13,488 --> 00:18:16,639 to fill those, those key positions. 394 00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:19,519 And, Leo, as someone that ran her own business, 395 00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:23,320 I can help take some of that burden off your shoulders. 396 00:18:33,730 --> 00:18:37,459 Oh, we'll, uh... we'll be in touch. 397 00:18:39,330 --> 00:18:40,959 Yes, Lady Raiders! 398 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:43,069 That's what I'm talking about! Nice job, ladies! 399 00:18:43,070 --> 00:18:45,259 - Good job, ladies. - Nice job! 400 00:18:45,260 --> 00:18:46,279 Good job. 401 00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:48,669 You never think you'd see this, right? Huh? 402 00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:50,691 Can't complain. 11-0 record! 403 00:18:50,692 --> 00:18:52,799 Yeah, except for the part where you turned 404 00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:54,679 12 sweet kids into sociopaths. 405 00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:56,480 But who doesn't like to win? 406 00:18:57,750 --> 00:19:00,201 Sorry, Uncle Jer. I know, pick and roll! 407 00:19:00,202 --> 00:19:02,819 - I'm a fucking idiot! - Yes, you are an idiot. 408 00:19:02,820 --> 00:19:06,041 Just keep your eye on the ball and off of nose ring over there. 409 00:19:10,128 --> 00:19:11,629 Hey, Bobby Knight, 410 00:19:11,630 --> 00:19:13,229 before you start throwing chairs, 411 00:19:13,230 --> 00:19:15,549 you might wanna remember these are high school girls. 412 00:19:15,550 --> 00:19:17,385 They're kind of dangling off the edge as it is. 413 00:19:17,386 --> 00:19:19,109 Sorry, Robert. 414 00:19:19,110 --> 00:19:20,439 You're absolutely right. 415 00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:22,579 Keep reminding me. I appreciate it. 416 00:19:22,580 --> 00:19:24,179 - Lila! - Hey. 417 00:19:24,180 --> 00:19:26,727 Great game, you killed it. Great game. 418 00:19:26,728 --> 00:19:28,179 And... 419 00:19:28,180 --> 00:19:31,119 you stayed golden in here. Good job. 420 00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:32,483 All right, girls, let's bring it in. 421 00:19:32,484 --> 00:19:34,151 Listen up. 422 00:19:34,152 --> 00:19:36,059 Winning, totally cool. 423 00:19:36,060 --> 00:19:38,319 Increases the dopamine in the brain and what not, 424 00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:40,559 but let's try to remember this is a game. 425 00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:43,339 Have fun. You can chuckle now and then. 426 00:19:43,340 --> 00:19:44,578 Maybe even crack a smile. 427 00:19:44,579 --> 00:19:46,540 What do you think? 428 00:19:49,700 --> 00:19:51,919 All right, just keep it in mind. 429 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:53,559 - Who wants to take us out? - I do. 430 00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:55,120 All right, what do you got? 431 00:19:56,740 --> 00:19:58,801 Jason Campbell's an asshole. 432 00:19:58,802 --> 00:20:00,479 "Asshole" on three? 433 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:01,549 No. 434 00:20:01,550 --> 00:20:02,847 Maybe "teamwork"? 435 00:20:02,848 --> 00:20:04,348 Fine. 436 00:20:04,349 --> 00:20:05,891 Okay. One, two, three... 437 00:20:05,892 --> 00:20:08,219 - Teamwork! - Yeah. 438 00:20:08,220 --> 00:20:09,770 So what do you say? Grab some dinner? 439 00:20:09,771 --> 00:20:11,313 Next stop, sub-regionals! 440 00:20:11,314 --> 00:20:12,690 I can't. 441 00:20:12,691 --> 00:20:15,190 Ouch. Don't even rate a good lie? 442 00:20:15,860 --> 00:20:17,559 Well... 443 00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:20,229 my fiancée is pregnant, 444 00:20:20,230 --> 00:20:21,569 and there's a lot going on. 445 00:20:21,570 --> 00:20:23,439 Whoa-ho! Fantastic! 446 00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:25,299 Congratulations, man, yeah! 447 00:20:25,300 --> 00:20:27,439 Well, I haven't told my kids yet. 448 00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:30,109 Or my ex. And Lila's... 449 00:20:30,110 --> 00:20:31,709 standing right there, so... 450 00:20:31,710 --> 00:20:34,109 - Keep it on the down-low. - Got it, got it. 451 00:20:34,110 --> 00:20:35,449 Won't say a word. 452 00:20:35,450 --> 00:20:38,119 You know, this time of secrets and avoidance 453 00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:41,049 has been a happy one, but... 454 00:20:41,050 --> 00:20:44,260 all good things must come to an end. 455 00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:56,439 - Diane. - Sign it. 456 00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:59,209 - _ - Diane, I've missed you so... 457 00:20:59,210 --> 00:21:01,339 Don't "Diane" me, sign it. 458 00:21:01,340 --> 00:21:05,367 Look, I just don't think we should do anything rash. 459 00:21:05,368 --> 00:21:07,479 Just so you know... 460 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:09,349 every hour of every single day, 461 00:21:09,350 --> 00:21:11,749 I have imagined taking one of your golf clubs 462 00:21:11,750 --> 00:21:13,542 and bashing your fucking brains in! 463 00:21:13,543 --> 00:21:16,819 Diane, don't give them any ideas. 464 00:21:16,820 --> 00:21:19,549 Listen to me. Sit down, sit down. 465 00:21:21,259 --> 00:21:24,178 I'm a changed man, really. 466 00:21:24,179 --> 00:21:26,055 Please don't tell me you found God. 467 00:21:26,056 --> 00:21:28,739 Fuck no, but I found humility. 468 00:21:28,740 --> 00:21:31,099 Give me a break. You're in a jumpsuit! 469 00:21:31,100 --> 00:21:32,569 You sleep on a cot, Nick! 470 00:21:32,570 --> 00:21:33,854 I'm not impressed, okay? 471 00:21:33,855 --> 00:21:36,340 Look, I even made you some presents. 472 00:21:42,489 --> 00:21:45,119 - What is this? - Animal figurines. 473 00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:49,450 I made them from toilet paper and eyeliner. 474 00:21:49,454 --> 00:21:50,989 This is how you're trying to win me back? 475 00:21:50,990 --> 00:21:52,164 No, no, not just that. 476 00:21:52,165 --> 00:21:53,929 I also made-made these. 477 00:21:53,930 --> 00:21:56,059 I-I-I painted these with, uh... 478 00:21:56,060 --> 00:21:59,214 with rouge and, and lipstick. 479 00:22:02,020 --> 00:22:03,093 Diane! 480 00:22:06,638 --> 00:22:09,850 Diane, those took me months to make! 481 00:22:11,142 --> 00:22:13,949 Do you understand that you destroyed me, Nick? 482 00:22:13,950 --> 00:22:15,809 Can you get that through your fat skull? 483 00:22:15,810 --> 00:22:17,519 You destroyed me! 484 00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:19,999 And painted toilet paper is not gonna win me back. 485 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:21,819 I also got you a pouch of tuna. 486 00:22:21,820 --> 00:22:25,179 Sign it, sign it, sign it, sigh it! 487 00:22:25,180 --> 00:22:26,570 We're not allowed pens. 488 00:22:26,575 --> 00:22:27,992 A few bad apples. 489 00:22:27,993 --> 00:22:29,730 Alvarez. 490 00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:32,019 Do not fuck with me. 491 00:22:32,020 --> 00:22:33,779 I want you to get me a goddamn pen right now. 492 00:22:33,780 --> 00:22:36,041 Right now. Get it, get it, get it! 493 00:22:36,042 --> 00:22:38,545 Give him the goddamn pen. 494 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:40,400 Sign it, Nick. 495 00:22:46,678 --> 00:22:49,749 - Honey, I-I know we've been fighting... - Mom... 496 00:22:49,750 --> 00:22:52,649 ... but I thought that this would be a good time for us to reconnect. 497 00:22:52,650 --> 00:22:53,679 So when you get home, 498 00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:55,359 we can go straight to Shake Shack, right? 499 00:22:55,360 --> 00:22:58,519 - Put it in your iCal. - Mom, I'm not coming. 500 00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:00,814 But I already... I already bought you a ticket. 501 00:23:00,815 --> 00:23:02,559 I never said I was coming home. 502 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:04,199 Of course you're coming home. 503 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:05,484 You're not an orphan. 504 00:23:05,485 --> 00:23:06,579 I don't want to come home. 505 00:23:06,580 --> 00:23:09,259 And I don't want to worry every time I make a decision 506 00:23:09,260 --> 00:23:10,979 that it's gonna hurt your feelings. 507 00:23:10,980 --> 00:23:13,359 Well, of course it's gonna hurt my feelings, 508 00:23:13,360 --> 00:23:15,059 and I don't think there's anything wrong with you 509 00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:16,439 being empathetic to that. 510 00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:17,979 Mom, I have been avoiding it, 511 00:23:17,980 --> 00:23:21,779 because hating your mother is such a cliché, 512 00:23:21,780 --> 00:23:25,090 but... I can't do this. 513 00:23:25,091 --> 00:23:27,426 Cole! 514 00:23:27,427 --> 00:23:28,689 Oh! 515 00:23:35,890 --> 00:23:38,979 You okay? How's the vacation? 516 00:23:38,980 --> 00:23:41,499 Like Maui with bed sores. 517 00:23:41,500 --> 00:23:43,369 I'm starting to lose my mind. 518 00:23:43,370 --> 00:23:45,528 Pirate Booty! 519 00:23:48,710 --> 00:23:49,740 Ah. 520 00:23:49,741 --> 00:23:51,680 I know who this is. 521 00:23:53,540 --> 00:23:55,449 - Uh, Robert DuFresne? - Yeah. 522 00:23:55,450 --> 00:23:57,080 Not a moment too soon. 523 00:23:59,120 --> 00:24:01,519 - Guess what you won today. - What? 524 00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:03,119 - A new bed! - What? 525 00:24:03,120 --> 00:24:04,900 I got a new bed. 526 00:24:07,759 --> 00:24:09,560 This way, fellas. 527 00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:12,930 - Oh, hi. - Hi. 528 00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:16,199 Um, the calendar for the month. 529 00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:17,979 You said you needed to sit down with it 530 00:24:17,980 --> 00:24:19,139 to see if it makes sense. 531 00:24:19,140 --> 00:24:20,579 - Yeah, yeah, yeah! - It's okay? 532 00:24:20,580 --> 00:24:23,357 Yeah, yeah, it looks, uh... Yeah, it looks, uh... 533 00:24:23,358 --> 00:24:26,945 Pretty good. How's the... How's the job hunting going? 534 00:24:26,946 --> 00:24:28,439 It sucks. 535 00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:30,447 I can't even get the jobs I don't want. 536 00:24:30,448 --> 00:24:31,679 Yeah. 537 00:24:32,906 --> 00:24:34,980 Yeah, and then we'll get the mattress in. 538 00:24:36,220 --> 00:24:38,359 Yeah, I'm gonna need a hand with that. 539 00:24:38,360 --> 00:24:40,500 What's... what's going on, Robert? 540 00:24:43,790 --> 00:24:47,160 Yeah, I wasn't gonna say anything until... 541 00:24:48,500 --> 00:24:50,799 we were a little farther... 542 00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:53,260 Jackie's pregnant. 543 00:24:54,250 --> 00:24:55,460 Yeah. 544 00:24:56,460 --> 00:24:58,560 I... 545 00:24:58,570 --> 00:25:00,759 I... 546 00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:03,022 I-I didn't... I didn't know that you... 547 00:25:03,023 --> 00:25:05,319 It wasn't planned. 548 00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:07,640 It just happened. 549 00:25:09,154 --> 00:25:11,156 - Excuse me. - Oh. 550 00:25:13,950 --> 00:25:15,859 Yeah, just toss it in the back. 551 00:25:15,860 --> 00:25:18,520 - I got it. - Oh... wow. 552 00:25:19,620 --> 00:25:21,290 All over again. 553 00:25:21,291 --> 00:25:23,293 Yeah. 554 00:25:24,270 --> 00:25:27,297 Feels a lot more real now that you know about it. 555 00:25:27,298 --> 00:25:30,049 Gosh. 556 00:25:30,050 --> 00:25:31,209 It's so great. 557 00:25:31,210 --> 00:25:32,539 Thanks. 558 00:25:32,540 --> 00:25:33,762 It's, um... 559 00:25:34,410 --> 00:25:35,680 It's brave. 560 00:25:36,820 --> 00:25:38,179 Gotta dive right in, I guess. 561 00:25:38,180 --> 00:25:39,299 Yeah. 562 00:25:39,300 --> 00:25:40,476 Do the kids know? 563 00:25:40,477 --> 00:25:42,689 No. No, no, no, no. 564 00:25:42,690 --> 00:25:44,420 I would never tell them before I told you. 565 00:25:45,360 --> 00:25:48,029 Plus, there's been some complications, 566 00:25:48,030 --> 00:25:49,859 but it's... it'll be fine. 567 00:25:49,860 --> 00:25:52,599 Really? Like... 568 00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:53,655 Like what? 569 00:25:53,656 --> 00:25:56,239 Just this rogue placenta situation. 570 00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:58,899 - She's on bed rest. - Oh, wow, yeah. 571 00:25:58,900 --> 00:26:00,399 I'm sorry. That's very scary. 572 00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:01,956 Mmm. 573 00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:07,079 So... it's official. 574 00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:08,671 - Yeah, looks good. - All right. 575 00:26:08,672 --> 00:26:10,790 I'm not changing it. 576 00:26:12,050 --> 00:26:13,967 Give her my best. Definitely. 577 00:26:13,968 --> 00:26:15,550 Thank you. 578 00:26:16,860 --> 00:26:18,459 Ma'am, look out! 579 00:26:18,460 --> 00:26:20,640 I'm fine, I'm fine. Okay. 580 00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:55,479 Goddammit. 581 00:28:07,630 --> 00:28:10,839 - This is always good. - Hmm. 582 00:28:18,700 --> 00:28:21,249 Oh, my God. 583 00:28:21,250 --> 00:28:22,763 I got a job. 584 00:28:22,764 --> 00:28:25,225 There you go. Doing what? 585 00:28:26,050 --> 00:28:27,259 Helping birds. 586 00:28:28,990 --> 00:28:30,890 That's good, right? 587 00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:33,999 I have no idea. 588 00:28:43,690 --> 00:28:48,690 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 41170

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