Original subtitles

- They're not bad. - If you wait your turn, you'll be too old.

- You comin'? - Yeah, we're comin'. Right?

Hey, you bet. Let me at 'em!

- This is it. Peachtree Street. - Kind of a crummy neighbourhood.

She ain't sellin' stocks and bonds. I don't believe this guy.

Gene, can you lend me ten bucks in case I wanna go twice?

Twi... You mean she charges every time...

Yeah, she has a cash register on her bed.

- Will you come on? - How does she know you had one?

Your eyes spin around and when they stop on two pineapples, you had one!

21. This is it.

- Looks like a place that sells radio parts. - What did we bring this guy for?

- Let's toss for who goes first. - I go first.

Yeah, I meant the rest of us will toss. Naturally you go first.

A half an hour he's been in there!

If he doesn't hurry up, I'm gonna pass my peak.

Hey, what if she's ugly? I mean, really ugly?

Close your eyes and think of a cheerleader.

I don't wanna close my eyes. That's the same as doing it to yourself.

Not if you're feelin' someone underneath you, or on top of you.

On top of me? Who would be on top of me?

She would. She could be anywhere.

Under a table, on a chair or an ironing board.

On an ironing board?

What kind of a girl is this? I thought we were going to a regular place.

Don't you know anything?

Maybe not in actual experience, but I have all the information I need.

You don't know shit, Jerome. Do you know how many positions there are?

- American or worldwide? - This guy is a riot!

For five bucks, how many positions are there?

- Lemme think. - You want me to tell you?

- No. - There are 17 acceptable positions.

Acceptable? What is there, an Olympic committee that votes on positions?

I can't believe this guy is from New York.

Besides, you're wrong. There's 52 positions.

52?! You're crazy! Where did you ever get that from?

I saw a dirty deck of cards once.

This jerk is worse than Epstein.

- You owe me five bucks. - Hey, listen, twerp...

...you're lucky if you do one position.

I'm not doing anything on an ironing board.

Why not? You'll get your shirt pressed for free.

Well? Tell us. Tell us!

She wants to see me again after the war.

See you fellas at the USO.

OK, whose turn is it?

You go ahead. I just had lunch. I don't wanna get cramps.

Yeah.

I'll try and leave a little somethin' for you guys.

Hey, how you doin'?

If you're nervous about this, we don't have to do this. There's that dance at the USO.

Oh, no, I wanna do it. I don't mean I wanna do it. I think I should do it.

I mean, eventually I have to do it, right?

Well, yeah, eventually.

Look, why don't we go to the dance? We can always come back later.

Yeah. We could always come back later.

- Don't tell the guys I didn't do it. - They'll know. They'll see it on your face.

No, they won't. I'm a good actor. I can act like I did it.

Come on, let's just go.

My cap. Shit! I left my cap upstairs.

Well, go get it.

You're through already? That was fast.

I never even made it to the bed. I knew I hit my peak too soon.

You the only one left, honey?

What? Oh, yeah, I guess I am.

Well, let's get goin', sugar. I got some navy boys comin' at two.

very pleased to meet you.

Hey, come on, kid. I ain't got all day.

- It's chilly in here, isn't it? - Yeah

About 96 degrees!

Keep your shorts on if you want, but I've a rule against wearin' army shoes to bed.

Oh.

I was just about to take them off.

I always take them off.

You don't mind a little perfume, do ya, honey?

There was a boy this mornin' with a gallon of Aqua velva. Nearly drove me crazy.

Oh, that's OK. You could even spray some on me.

Gee, that smells good.

If you'd like a bottle for your girlfriend, I sell 'em $5 apiece.

- You sell perfume, too? - I sell hard-to-get items.

Silk stockings, black panties.

- You interested? - Do you carry men's clothing?

Oh, that's cute. You're cute, honey.

Is this your first time?

My first time?

Are you kidding? That's funny.

No.

It's my second time.

First time they were closed.

You don't smoke cigarettes either, do ya?

- How d'you know that? - Looked like your face was on fire.

You wanna look older, why don't you try a moustache?

- What's your name? - Rowena. What's yours?

- It's Eug... - Eug?

It's a huge name.

It's Jack Bobby Lou Mulgreevy.

- Where you from, Bobby Lou? - Texarkana.

- Is that right? - Yes, ma'am.

Is that Texas or Arkansas?

- Arkansas, I think. - You think?

Well, we left there when I was two and moved to Georgia.

Really? You a Cracker?

- What's a Cracker? - Someone from Georgia.

Oh, yeah, I'm a Cracker.

Whole family's crackers.

- Were you born in Biloxi? - No. Gulfport.

I still live there with my husband.

Your husband! You're married?

- God, he'll kill me if he finds me here. - No, he won't.

- Does he know that you're a... - Why, sure he does. That's how we met.

He's in the Coast Guard.

He was one of my best customers. He still is.

You mean you charge your own husband?

I mean he's my best lover.

You gonna do it from there, cowboy, cos I'll have to make some adjustments.

- I was just waiting for you to get ready. - I'm always ready, sugar.

You wanna pull down the window shade?

Sure.

You scared, honey, first time an' all?

- A little, I guess. - Don't fret about it.

When it's a boy's first time it makes it feel like it's my first time.

D'you like the left side or the right?

If we do it right, hon, we're gonna use both sides.

You come to Mama now.

Would it be OK if we didn't use the word "Mama"?

It makes me think of my mother and that sort of kills it, you know?

Sure.

That's a boy.

There, now.

Come on.

OK, honey, do your stuff.

What stuff is that?

Whatever you like to do. Didn't anyone ever teach you anything?

Well, my brother showed me a few things. You look a lot different from my brother.

Oh, you're sweet.

I went to high school with a boy like you.

Had the biggest damn crush on him.

Listen, don't be offended...

...but this doesn't have to be the greatest experience of my life.

I really just wanted to get it over with.

Well, you just let Rowena take care of everything, honey.

All you gotta do is put your arms around me. Come on.

That's it.

There, now, you're doin' fine.

- You got your knee on my stomach. - I'm sorry.

Let's get those shorts off.

That's better. Now, isn't that better?

Oh. Oh, God!

Oh!

Oh, God!

Relax, hon. Nothin' to it, sugar.

You're not breathin'. Breathe!

My nose is running.

No, I'm OK.

Don't stop, baby, you're gettin' there.

Oh.

Oh, jeez.

Oh, my God!

Oh. Oh...

You did it, babe!

I did it. I did it.

- Not too close, please. - Oh, forgive me.

- You girls always wear white gloves? - It's proper attire for a lady at a dance.

In the old days a man would hold a handkerchief in his hand...

...so as not to touch the bare back of his partner.

No kiddin'? Next time I'll come here in a tank.

You can't get near these girls unless you're a priest.

Aw, who wants to?

- Nothin' better than what we had. Right? - Right, yeah.

That Rowena's a real roller coaster, ain't she?

Hey, there.

- Hey. Hi, guys, what's cookin'? - How'd it go?

How'd it go? It was fine as wine. Sorta chatty, know what I mean?

Chatty? First time in the sack with a pro was chatty?

Real smooth. Second time was swing, swing, swing.

- Second time? You paid twice? - No, it was a freebie. On the house.

- Why would she give you a free one? - Maybe I was her one millionth customer.

Think I'll look around.

Bullshit artist.

Let's get outta here.

Would you care to dance?

- What? - I said would you care to dance?

Oh. I don't dance very well.

- I bet you do. - No, I swear. I never dance.

- Then why did you come to a dance? - It's a good question.

I like to listen to music...

...and I was hoping that I'd meet somebody I could talk to. I like to talk.

Well, we could talk while we dance.

OK. Sure.

Watch your toes.

Well, you're doin' fine.

- Are you countin'? - A little.

I can see your lips movin'.

My lips don't move, my feet don't move.

- Is that perfume you're wearin'? - Perfume?

It's ladies' perfume.

I smelt it before. Two of the other soldiers had it on.

Oh, yeah. It's... it's for my mother.

The lady on the counter sprayed it on me.

Do you think it's too strong?

Well, yours is a little different. Yours has a little Aqua velva in it.

Well, that's me underneath.

- What's your name? - Eugene Morris Jerome.

If you want the short version, it's Eugene.

- What's your name? - Daisy. Daisy Hannigan.

Dai... No kiddin'? That's a beautiful name.

Daisy is my favourite character in literature.

- Daisy Miller or Daisy Buchanan? - Buchanan.

The Great Gatsby is one of my all-time favourite books.

- I've never read Daisy Miller. Is it good? - Oh, it's wonderful.

You look surprised. We do read in the South, you know.

I know.

- You have a funny look on your face. - I do?

Uh-huh.

It's like a birthday look.

- Today isn't your birthday, is it? - No.

Something special happened to you today, am I right?

Yeah.

- Can you tell me about it? - I don't think so.

- I might put it in my memoirs, though. - Oh.

- Do you keep a journal every day? - Yes. Since I was 14.

I write down everything that happens to me.

- Do you like writin'? - Yeah. It's what I hope to be one day.

Will you write about dancin' with me tonight?

Yeah, probably.

Great. Then if you ever become a famous writer, I'll be immortalised!

The sisters are lookin' at me.

We're not allowed to spend too much time with one boy.

The song isn't over yet. I'm entitled to one song, right?

Can I... You want me to get you a Coke or something?

It's way on the other side of the room.

The song would be over when you got back.

Yeah. Let the next guy get you a Coke.

- Do you live in Biloxi? - No. We go to school in Gulfport.

Gulfport, really? No kidding? I know a girl from Gulfport.

Really? Who is she? Maybe I know her.

Oh, no, I don't think so.

She's in the clothing business.

Well, I really have to go.

It was very nice meetin' you, Eugene.

Are you gonna be back here next weekend?

No, we only come in once a month.

Maybe I could come out to Gulfport.

Well, we're really not allowed to make dates.

Well, it wouldn't be a date if I was just to bump into you, would it?

Well, it would be if I went to confession.

Especially if I told you I went to St Mary's on Piermont Street.

- Goodbye, Eugene. - Goodbye, Daisy.

Eugene, you didn't say one wrong thing in that whole conversation.

Ever have one of those perfect days?

I can't believe what this creep's been writin' about us.

Listen to this.

"No matter how lunatic I think Sergeant Toomey is...

...each day he goes a little further."

"Yesterday he made Epstein unscrew the top of this head and take his brains out."

I fooled him. I only took out my mucous membranes.

Hubba, hubba!

What a weekend. What did you guys do?

- Hennesey, listen. You're in this, too. - Yeah, what is it?

"The Secret and Private Memoirs of Eugene M Jerome."

He let you read that?

No. We'll ask him if it's all right when we get through.

When we get through!

You have no right. It's like opening his mail.

Bullshit! It's private things about all of us. It's public domain like in the newspapers.

Newspapers are published. Unpublished memoirs are the writer's sole property.

You know, I thought all Jews were doctors. I didn't know they were lawyers, too.

- I'm not a Jew any more, Wykowski. - What do you mean?

I converted to Catholicism yesterday.

In six weeks I hope to become a priest.

And my first act of service to the Holy Father is to have you excommunicated...

...so get off my ass.

That's good. That's funny. He got you that time, 'Kowski.

Shut up!

I thought you were Eugene's friend, Epstein.

He left his locker open. Why'd he leave something so private in an open locker?

It has no logic to it. I have no interest in illogical things.

Well, you tell Gene I had nothin' to do with this, you hear?

Go on, keep readin'.

"One night a sudden scream from Selridge calling out the name Louise."

"Is Louise his girlfriend or his mother?"

- He's full of crap! - Yeah, well, who's Louise?

My mother. But he's full of it. I never called my mother Louise.

Poor baby wants his mother.

Hey, it's him.

Two in one day. Two in one day. Can you believe it?

- Two what? - Two fantasies came true.

- I lost my virginity and I fell in love. - With Rowena?

I can't wait for her to meet your parents.

Her name is Daisy. Daisy Hannigan.

Every time I say it I get tiny little heart attacks.

Not enough to kill ya. Just enough to keep you from walking straight.

Hey.

- Anybody seen my notebook? - What notebook is that?

The one I'm always writing in.

Arnold, have you seen it?

Why did you leave your locker open?

Because I lost the key down the shower drain.

There was nothing valuable in there except my notebook.

I thought I could trust the guys here.

Hey, that's funny, Jerome, cos we thought we could trust you, too.

What does that mean?

"One night a scream from Selridge...

- Hey! Gimme that! -... calling out Louise!"

- "Is Louise his girlfriend or mother?" - You have no right!

Yeah? And you got no business writing down my dreams.

- Give it back. Nobody is interested. - Not even in what he thinks about you?

- Give it to me! - You want an arm broken, it's up to you.

- 'Kowski, please don't read that. - If it gets boring, I'll stop.

"I can't make Don Carney out yet. Basically he's OK and I like him."

"But there's something about him you can't count on...

...and if I was ever in real trouble Don Carney's the last one I'd turn to."

Well... let's just hope you don't have to count on me.

It doesn't mean anything.

- I get a thought and I write it down. - Let him go, Selridge.

Wanna take his place? I don't care whose arm I break.

OK, you ready for the best part? Here's the best part.

"Wykowski is pure animal."

"He masturbates in bed four or five times a night."

"He has no shame about it and his capacities are enormous."

"sometimes when he has a discharge he announces it to the room:

"Number five torpedo fired, loading number six."'

Hey, Epstein, can I sue him for defamation of...

- What is it? - Character?

Only if his intent is to prove malice, and in your case it's not possible.

- Read more. - Where was I?

You just fired number five.

"Despite Wykowski's lack of culture, sensitivity...

...or the pursuit of anything minutely intellectual...

...his greatest strength is his earnest belief that he belongs on the battlefield."

"He is clearly the best soldier in the pl...

...in the platoon, dependable under pressure."

"It wouldn't surprise me if Wykowski came out of the war with the Medal of Honor."

You really mean that, Jerome?

I told you, I don't mean any of it.

Right now I would describe you in three words: a yellow bastard!

Yeah, well, they don't give the Medal of Honor to yellow bastards. Let him go, Sel.

What do you write this down for? You'll make a lotta guys unhappy.

What I write in my book is my business. Give it to me.

Don't I get to hear my life story?

Arnold, I beg you!

Don't read that!

They're my private thoughts!

- If you take them, you steal from me. - I gather it's unflattering.

Don't you know me by now, Gene? I can't be unflattered. I'm past it.

However, if you don't want me to read it, I won't read it.

But I don't think we'll be able to be truly honest with each other from now on.

Put it back when you're through.

Well, don't we get to hear it?

"Arnold Epstein's constant pursuit of truth, logic and reason fascinates me...

...in the same proportion as his obstinacy and unnecessary heroics...

...drive me to distraction."

"But I love him for it, in the same manner that I love Joe DiMaggio...

...for making the gesture of catching a long fly ball to centre."

"seemed like the last miracle performed by God in modern times."

"But often I hold back showing my love and affection for Arnold...

...because I think he might misinterpret it."

"It just happens to be my instinctive feeling that Arnold...

...is...

...homosexual...

...and it bothers me that it bothers me."

Do you see why I find life so interesting?

Because here is a man who in three weeks has come to the brilliant conclusion...

...that a cretin like Wykowski is going to win the Medal of Honor...

...and that his most esteemed and dearest friend is a fairy.

Lights out!

It is my opinion that no one here gets a wink of sleep tonight. Good night, fellas.

The weekends I spent with Daisy made the weeks in the army even more unbearable.

I knew this romance wouldn't survive the war...

...or the differences in our backgrounds or our futures...

...but I didn't let Daisy know I felt that way.

I wanted every hour we spent together to be perfect, and it was...

...because I think she knew it, too.

Who the hell turned this light out?

- Oh, Christ! - Who's there?

Goddammit, Lindstrom!

Why didn't you tell the army what you were, save the trouble of a court martial?

The other soldier with Lindstrom...

...flew out that window with the dexterity of a paratrooper.

He was seen but not identified entering our latrine window a few minutes later.

Unlike the missing $62, this time it wasn't me.

So... who the hell was it?

Private Lindstrom, a nervous young man...

...will surely crack under the strain of interrogation.

Therefore, if the guilty party in this room wishes to admit his indiscretion...

...he will not only lessen his sentence in Leavenworth Prison...

...but save this company what I promise will be pain and humiliation...

...beyond the endurance of man.

I take it honour and integrity are traits not to be found anywhere in this company.

- Jerome? - Yes, Sergeant.

What would you do in my place?

I'm not in your place, Sergeant.

I know you write down everything you see in that book of yours.

Is there anything happened tonight that might be of interest to me?

I was asleep, Sergeant.

If you weren't, you wouldn't tell me anyway, would you?

No, I don't think I would.

Got me another Epstein on my hands, don't I?

OK, men, all base privileges are cancelled.

All weekend passes, likewise, cancelled.

The moral of this story is when you get real horny...

...do unto yourself what you would otherwise do unto others.

Dismissed.

- What we gonna do about this? - Don't say it.

Hey, I don't have to say it.

We all know who he's talkin' about. You even wrote it in your book.

Yeah. I also wrote down that you're an animal.

If I'm right, then you should be in the cavalry.

- Yeah? - Hey, this is none of our business.

Let's just let the army take care of this.

I'm sorry, Arnold. I swear to God I'm sorry I ever wrote it.

Actually, I'm enjoying it. Sounds like an Agatha Christie story:

Sodomy on the Orient Express.

Hey, Epstein, let's see if you'll be laughin' at Leavenworth.

And he calls me a cretin.

I don't see the big deal. A guy should be able to do what he wants...

...just as long as he doesn't do it to me.

That's a mistake, Gene.

Once you start compromising your thoughts you're a candidate for mediocrity.

There's nothing we can do about it tonight. Let's hit the sack.

I learnt a very important lesson that night: people believe whatever they read.

Something magical happens once it's put down on paper.

They figure no one would go to the trouble of writing it down if it wasn't the truth.

Responsibility was my new watchword.

Hey, MPs.

That Lindstrom guy must've talked.

Jesus, you mean they'll pull the guy out in front of everyone?

When the following soldier's name is called...

...he's requested to accompany the military police back to headquarters.

Hennesey, James J.

Wha... What's it about?

That's a matter for you to discuss with the authorities.

Come on, son.

Hennesey was the only guy in the platoon who stood up for both Epstein and me.

That fact didn't even occur to me until I saw him being driven off to prison.

Boy, it's hot.

Hey, come on. Let's go get a beer.

Arnold?

Don't you wanna go?

Why do you think I'm a homosexual?

I don't know.

Maybe it's because you never once talked about a girl.

I never talked about dogs, either. Does that make me a cocker spaniel?

I know. I'll never do it again.

Epstein?

Is it Epstein?

Or "Epsteen"?

- "Epsteen". - "Epsteen"?

I wonder if I may have a word with you in private, please?

Jesus. He's drunk as hell.

Did you hear what I said... Epstein?

Your insignificant presence is requested in my chambers.

- You OK, sarge? - Get outta here, Jerome...

...before I start hatin' you again.

If I kill the both of you, they can still only hang me once.

Let's go, Epstein.

We've got some bills to pay up, you and I.

You and me.

Move your ass, sonny!

- You don't wanna do this, sarge. - But I do. I really, really do.

- It's all right, Gene. - No, it isn't.

Unless you wanna write in your memoirs that you're dead...

...I'd move out if I were you, Gene, buddy.

Epstein, let's go, goddammit.

Don't do it, Arnold. He won't do anything as long as I'm a witness.

OK. Fine with me.

Epstein, go clean the latrine.

Into my room, Jerome.

You're now about to move up to the front lines.

Come on.

- Have a drink, Jerome. - I don't drink whiskey, Sergeant.

- You will tonight. - Why?

Because I say so.

OK.

I don't like you, Jerome.

I never did. Never will.

I won't even like you after the war.

Well, I probably won't come up all that often.

Probably won't.

Take a slug.

Tell me, Jerome...

...if a piss-drunk sergeant has a loaded. 45 pointed at the head...

...of a piece of dung that the piss-drunk sergeant hates and despises...

...how would you describe the situation?

Delicate. Extremely delicate.

Right.

He's going nuts! He's... he's... he's gonna kill him! I'm telling you!

I'll be honest with you, Jerome. It was my intention of gettin' Epstein in here...

...puttin' this pistol to his ear...

...blowin' a tunnel through his head, but you'll do just as well.

I'm sorry to hear that.

There's somethin' about you New York boys riles my ass.

- You don't appreciate the army, do you? - There are some things I like.

Such as?

Mail. I like getting my mail.

You shittin' me?

Piece of dung would never shit a piss-drunk sergeant with a loaded. 45.

Don't test me, Jerome. I'll bury ya.

You know what the irony of this situation is, Jerome?

The irony is that despite the fact...

...you hate every disciplined bone in my body...

...you're gonna miss me when I go.

Are you going somewhere, Sergeant?

Dickerson.

veterans hospital.

0700 tomorrow morning.

I know how much you boys are gonna miss me.

Don't make a fuss or anything. No gifts, you understand?

Well, the guys'll be disappointed, but I'll explain why.

Ingratitude.

The army is gonna replace my steel plate with sterling silver.

That means I'll be able to hawk my head in any pawnshop in this country.

That's a joke, Jerome.

I know. I love army humour.

How long will you be gone, Sergeant?

They don't send you back from a veterans hospital, boy. You become a veteran.

I'm tryin' to tell you...

...my active career in the US Army has been terminated.

I'm finished. You understand?

Retired before 40. That's sad, isn't it?

- You find that sad, Jerome? - Yes, it is sad.

One night, from my room here...

...I heard that game you played with the men in the barracks.

How each man could have his own fantasy with only a week to live.

I wanna play that game, Jerome. Here's my five bucks.

You tell me if I win.

- You can't win, Sergeant. Game's over. - Not yet. Not till I've had my turn.

Right?

You know what I would do...

...with my last week on earth?

I want to take one army misfit, dumb-ass, subhuman, useless son of a bitch...

...and turn him...

...into an obedient, disciplined soldier this army could be proud of.

I got two in this company - you and Epstein.

But Epstein's hopeless.

You're my last hope, Jerome.

You're gonna make my fantasy come true.

None of them came true. It was just a game.

Right. Except tonight's the real thing.

And I don't have a week to do it in.

We're gonna do it now, soldier.

- On your feet, dogface! - Sergeant, you're not in any condition...

On your feet!

Ten hut!

A crime has been committed in this room tonight, Jerome.

A noncommissioned officer has threatened the life of an enlisted man...

...brandishing a loaded weapon at him without provocation...

...while under the influence of alcohol.

I am that officer, Jerome.

It is your unquestioned duty to report this incident to the proper authorities.

That's OK. I didn't mind.

As I'm piss-drunk and dangerous...

...it's also your duty to relieve me of my loaded weapon.

I could just leave and I would never talk about it.

Take my weapon, goddammit.

What do you mean "take it"? How am I supposed to take it?

Demand it, you weasel bastard. I'll blow your puny brains out.

OK. OK. Um...

- May I have your gun, Sergeant? - Pistol, turdhead!

May I have your pistol, Sergeant?

- Force it out of my hand. - Force it out of your hand?

- How am I supposed to force it out? - Grab my wrist, if you dare.

- I can't. You're stronger than I am. - Grab it or I'll shoot, goddamn you!

OK.

OK. Thank you.

Now, why don't you just...

...try to get a good night's sleep?

To properly charge me, you need witnesses.

Assemble the men outside the barracks.

Well, I... I took your gun. Aren't you satisfied? I am.

It's regulations. As long as you obey regulations, I win the bet.

Assemble the men.

Oh.

Hi, fellas.

Um...

Would you come outside for a minute? Sergeant wants to speak to us.

Men, as you can see...

...I'm piss-drunk.

I've also just threatened to blow Private Jerome's brains out.

Private Jerome has relieved me of my weapon...

...placed me under arrest. You're all witnesses.

Before takin' me to headquarters to file charges...

...I'd just like to add that Private Jerome has displayed outstanding courage...

...and carried out his duty in the manner of a first-class soldier.

I am puttin' him up for commendation. I'm ready to go, Jerome.

I think that's a decision that should be left to the men, Sergeant.

Is that right?

That's right.

Hm.

Private Epstein...

...in your opinion should we drop the charges or not?

No. No charges.

I think the sergeant should get company punishment like the rest of us.

- Would that be all right, Sergeant? - My two misfits are in charge, huh?

Fine. Handle this any way you want, as long as justice is served.

You name it, Epstein.

I think justice would be served...

...if you gave us 200 push-ups.

very decisive.

That's a disciplined soldier for you, men.

Thank you.

- Hit the dirt? - Hit the dirt!

- Count off? - What?

- Tell me to count off! - Right. Count off!

Yes, Private Epstein.

One, two, three...

...four, five, six...

...seven, eight, nine, ten...

...eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen...

...fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty...

We never saw Sergeant Toomey again.

Our new sergeant was a sane, logical and decent man.

After four weeks with him we realised how much we missed Sergeant Toomey.

One should never underestimate the stimulation of eccentricity.

I told Daisy I was shipping out and that this was the last time we'd have together.

She said "I know you'll find another girl some day, Gene...

...but you'll never forget me because we'll always be each other's first love."

Long after the war I ran into Daisy in New York. She still looked great.

She married a doctor from New Orleans.

Her name is now Daisy Horowitz.

Ah, well, Biloxi was beautiful.

We were going to the Battle of the Pacific and there was no one who wasn't scared.

Then they dropped a bomb on Hiroshima and six days later the war was over.

So when you get down to it the only action we ever saw was up in Rowena's place.

Sure, we were glad our lives were spared...

...but the guys who came before us and the ones who didn't make it back home...

...haunted me for the rest of my life.

Roy Selridge decided to make the army his career...

...and 18 years later he was still a buck private.

I guess he never really did hit his peak.

Joseph Wykowski became a high-school football coach in Albany, New York.

He's married with six kids, weighs 280 pounds and has an ulcer.

He's on a low-fat cottage cheese diet.

Don Carney became a school teacher and he's someone the kids can really count on.

He never got married, and he enjoys singing in his church choir.

Epstein became a lawyer and eventually the District Attorney of Brooklyn.

The Mafia calls him "The most feared man in New York."

As for me, I finally found the perfect girl, I got married and had two great daughters.

I became a writer. I wrote a few plays and Ijust finished one called "Biloxi Blues".

Everything in it is true, except Rowena never gave me a second one for free.

Maybe I'll leave that out if they ever make it into a movie.

As I look back now, a lot ofyears later...

...I realise my time in the army was the happiest time of my life.

God knows not because I liked the army...

...and there sure was nothing to like about a war.

I liked it for the most selfish reason of all:

because I was young.

We all were. Me and Epstein and Wykowski...

...Selridge, Carney, Hennesey...

...and even Sergeant Toomey.

I didn't really like most of those guys then...

...but today I love every damn one of them.

Life is weird, you know?