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1
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# You must remember this
2
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# A kiss is still a kiss
3
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# A sigh is just a sigh
4
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# The fundamental things apply
5
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# As time goes by #
6
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- Lionel?
- Yes?
7
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I'd like to go out.
8
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What, now?
9
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No, not now. More often.
10
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We went out today.
11
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That was to the cooker showroom.
12
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That doesn't count.
13
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I mean to dinner, things like that.
14
00:00:58,580 --> 00:01:00,536
We went out for a curry last week.
15
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That wasn't last week,
it was a month ago.
16
00:01:02,780 --> 00:01:05,852
- Are you sure?
- Well, five weeks ago, to be precise.
17
00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:08,295
- As long ago as that?
- Yes.
18
00:01:08,380 --> 00:01:10,336
The weeks just fly by, don't they?
19
00:01:10,420 --> 00:01:15,050
Yes, they all seem to run into one -
not the days, the evenings.
20
00:01:15,140 --> 00:01:18,098
I mean, we have dinner,
we watch television, we go to bed.
21
00:01:18,180 --> 00:01:20,694
We can always try it in reverse order!
22
00:01:24,740 --> 00:01:28,255
Ignore me. I'm just having a moan.
23
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Fair enough.
24
00:01:29,980 --> 00:01:31,971
Well, I didn't mean ignore me!
25
00:01:33,020 --> 00:01:36,808
- Then why say it?
- I was hoping, obviously hopelessly,
26
00:01:36,900 --> 00:01:39,175
that you'd press me on the subject.
27
00:01:39,260 --> 00:01:41,376
- Oh.
- Don't feel you have to.
28
00:01:41,460 --> 00:01:44,497
Well, I obviously have to. So?
29
00:01:44,580 --> 00:01:47,697
Now you're only pressing me
because I asked you to.
30
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- I'm in a no-win situation.
- Oh, sorry.
31
00:01:50,540 --> 00:01:52,496
Ignore me.
32
00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:54,377
Fine.
33
00:01:54,460 --> 00:01:56,530
I was joking.
34
00:01:57,180 --> 00:01:59,330
You're bored, that's what you're saying.
35
00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:02,571
- Not with you.
- I'm the one you watch television with.
36
00:02:02,660 --> 00:02:05,732
It's just that there don't seem
to be any surprises lately.
37
00:02:05,820 --> 00:02:07,458
I see.
38
00:02:07,540 --> 00:02:09,576
And would you? No.
39
00:02:09,660 --> 00:02:12,333
- Would I what?
- Would you like a surprise?
40
00:02:12,420 --> 00:02:14,251
- Oh, Lionel!
- I know.
41
00:02:14,340 --> 00:02:18,015
Yes, as a matter of fact, I would.
Ask me when, I'll kick you out of bed.
42
00:02:18,100 --> 00:02:19,977
I wasn't going to.
43
00:02:20,060 --> 00:02:24,656
- Just some time.
- Times, actually.
44
00:02:25,700 --> 00:02:27,099
- Times.
- Mm.
45
00:02:27,180 --> 00:02:28,329
Yes.
46
00:02:29,180 --> 00:02:31,614
- Aaaaaargh!
- Aargh! God!
47
00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,697
Why on earth did you do that?
48
00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:39,456
I thought I'd just get the first surprise out
of the way to avoid waiting around for it.
49
00:02:39,540 --> 00:02:41,895
Not the sort of thing I had in mind.
50
00:02:41,980 --> 00:02:44,892
It's all I could come up with
on the spur of the moment.
51
00:02:44,980 --> 00:02:46,333
I will think of something.
52
00:02:46,420 --> 00:02:50,049
But I don't honestly consider myself
a very surprising sort of person.
53
00:02:50,140 --> 00:02:55,055
In Los Angeles, you disarmed
a crazed writer, I call that surprising.
54
00:02:55,140 --> 00:02:58,337
It's not a situation that's likely
to repeat itself, is it?
55
00:02:58,420 --> 00:03:02,413
Not unless we find the Crazed Writers'
Club and go there a lot, no.
56
00:03:04,260 --> 00:03:08,253
- Oh, don't look like that.
- I was just thinking, that's all.
57
00:03:08,340 --> 00:03:10,900
I don't want you to really.
It'd be such a strain,
58
00:03:10,980 --> 00:03:13,016
with you trying to think of a surprise,
59
00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:15,933
and me wondering when you will
and what it'll be.
60
00:03:16,020 --> 00:03:19,057
Is it really five weeks
since I took you out for that curry?
61
00:03:19,140 --> 00:03:22,689
It's five weeks and two days, actually.
62
00:03:22,780 --> 00:03:25,578
- I'll take you out for dinner tomorrow.
- Oh, good!
63
00:03:25,660 --> 00:03:27,616
Where would you... No.
64
00:03:27,700 --> 00:03:30,976
We won't have a curry. We'll go
somewhere we've never been before.
65
00:03:31,060 --> 00:03:33,176
- Lovely!
- Hm.
66
00:03:33,260 --> 00:03:36,297
Oh, it's Thursday tomorrow, I can't.
67
00:03:36,380 --> 00:03:38,575
- Why not?
- Something I want to watch on TV.
68
00:03:42,900 --> 00:03:45,050
- Morning!
- Morning!
69
00:03:47,420 --> 00:03:49,217
What's the joke?
70
00:03:49,300 --> 00:03:51,689
We heard you scream last night.
71
00:03:51,780 --> 00:03:53,736
- Oh.
- We're not asking why.
72
00:03:53,820 --> 00:03:57,699
Well, if you must know,
Lionel was giving me a surprise.
73
00:03:59,820 --> 00:04:02,653
- Was he?
- Not that kind of surprise.
74
00:04:02,740 --> 00:04:05,208
He suddenly roared and I screamed,
that's all.
75
00:04:05,300 --> 00:04:07,450
He hasn't taken to roaring, has he?
76
00:04:07,540 --> 00:04:10,100
- No, of course he hasn't.
- Well, why did he do it?
77
00:04:10,180 --> 00:04:14,856
Well, because I told him that life seemed
a bit samey recently, a bit flat,
78
00:04:14,940 --> 00:04:17,170
and the odd surprise
wouldn't come amiss.
79
00:04:17,260 --> 00:04:19,933
And Lionel roaring wasn't quite
what you had in mind.
80
00:04:20,020 --> 00:04:23,569
Well, he was joking. But I wish
I hadn't mentioned the word surprise.
81
00:04:23,660 --> 00:04:27,972
It's like saying, "tickle me when I least
expect it" - it's a strain on both of you.
82
00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:30,016
You mean Lionel planning a surprise
83
00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:32,694
knowing that you know
he's planning a surprise.
84
00:04:32,780 --> 00:04:35,089
And me knowing he knows, yes.
85
00:04:35,180 --> 00:04:38,377
Oh, I'll put him off the idea.
I'll tell him it was just a mood.
86
00:04:38,460 --> 00:04:42,055
- It wasn't though, was it?
- Well, I love Lionel dearly,
87
00:04:42,140 --> 00:04:46,053
but he's turning into a slippers and pipe
man a little early, that's all.
88
00:04:46,140 --> 00:04:49,655
- Take a lover.
- I'm saving that for a really rainy day.
89
00:04:52,060 --> 00:04:55,416
- Shouldn't you two be off at work?
- Why don't you come in with us?
90
00:04:55,500 --> 00:04:57,968
- What for?
- In your advisory capacity.
91
00:04:58,060 --> 00:05:00,449
What would you want me
to advise you about?
92
00:05:00,540 --> 00:05:02,815
- Erm...
- Well, there's always something.
93
00:05:02,900 --> 00:05:05,255
- Yeah, course there is.
- Lots of things.
94
00:05:05,340 --> 00:05:08,377
Off you go. Perhaps it was just a mood.
95
00:05:09,780 --> 00:05:11,736
- See you tonight then.
- All right.
96
00:05:11,820 --> 00:05:13,617
Bye.
97
00:05:14,660 --> 00:05:18,733
Mum, was Lionel ever
a surprising sort of chap?
98
00:05:21,100 --> 00:05:23,136
He had his moments.
99
00:05:26,260 --> 00:05:28,251
- Morning, you two.
- Morning!
100
00:05:38,260 --> 00:05:40,296
I just got roared at.
101
00:05:40,380 --> 00:05:42,974
Well, they heard me scream,
and I told them why.
102
00:05:43,060 --> 00:05:45,494
- Coffee?
- Stay there, I'll get it.
103
00:05:46,460 --> 00:05:48,974
Would you like to go
to the lmperial War Museum?
104
00:05:49,060 --> 00:05:51,290
- The lmperial War Museum?
- Yes.
105
00:05:51,380 --> 00:05:54,656
- Why?
- Well, have a look round.
106
00:05:54,740 --> 00:05:56,219
It's all tanks and things.
107
00:05:56,300 --> 00:05:57,653
It was just a thought.
108
00:05:57,740 --> 00:06:01,255
Lionel, forget I ever said
the word surprise.
109
00:06:01,340 --> 00:06:04,616
If I were planning a surprise,
I hope I'd come up with somewhere
110
00:06:04,700 --> 00:06:07,055
more inventive
than the lmperial War Museum.
111
00:06:07,140 --> 00:06:10,257
- Sorry.
- Victoria and Albert Museum?
112
00:06:10,340 --> 00:06:13,218
Let's just forget surprises
altogether, shall we?
113
00:06:13,300 --> 00:06:14,813
Yes, probably best.
114
00:06:14,900 --> 00:06:16,333
So, are you going?
115
00:06:16,420 --> 00:06:18,809
- Where?
- The lmperial War Museum.
116
00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:20,253
Yes.
117
00:06:20,340 --> 00:06:22,615
I might say hello to the tanks and things.
118
00:06:22,700 --> 00:06:25,851
Don't stand still too long,
they might take you for an exhibit.
119
00:06:25,940 --> 00:06:29,728
Yes, subaltern,
Middlesex Regiment, Korean War.
120
00:06:29,820 --> 00:06:32,812
- Slightly the worse for wear.
- I think you're lovely.
121
00:06:32,900 --> 00:06:35,494
- Takes all sorts.
- Well, off you go then.
122
00:06:35,580 --> 00:06:39,368
- I haven't had my breakfast yet.
- Oh no! Sorry.
123
00:06:39,460 --> 00:06:41,291
Well, what would you like?
124
00:06:41,380 --> 00:06:43,211
I don't really know, let me think.
125
00:06:44,740 --> 00:06:47,049
Eggs and bacon,
I'll have eggs and bacon.
126
00:06:49,900 --> 00:06:51,970
Lucky you turned up,
there was no one in.
127
00:06:52,060 --> 00:06:54,016
Another minute, you'd have missed me.
128
00:06:54,100 --> 00:06:56,694
Yes. Go on through.
129
00:06:57,660 --> 00:07:01,016
So why does a guy
go to the lmperial War Museum?
130
00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:05,730
- Call it a whim. I'm at a funny age.
- So, what was it like?
131
00:07:06,620 --> 00:07:09,180
- Quite remarkable.
- Really?
132
00:07:09,260 --> 00:07:11,171
Yes, really.
133
00:07:11,260 --> 00:07:14,889
Sit down, Alistair.
Erm, can I get you something to drink?
134
00:07:14,980 --> 00:07:18,689
- Slim min, please, Lionel.
- Slim min.
135
00:07:20,020 --> 00:07:22,773
Oh! A note from Jean,
funny place to leave it.
136
00:07:22,860 --> 00:07:24,213
You found it.
137
00:07:24,300 --> 00:07:26,495
"Gone shipping" - no that can't be right.
138
00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:31,529
"Gone shopping - you found the note,
you old boozer. Love, Jean."
139
00:07:31,620 --> 00:07:33,736
I had a sushi with Judy at lunch time.
140
00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:36,937
- Did you really?
- Which is why I wanted to talk to you.
141
00:07:37,020 --> 00:07:39,978
You're not persuading me to eat raw fish.
142
00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:41,971
No, no, no.
143
00:07:42,060 --> 00:07:44,016
The roaring in the night.
144
00:07:45,300 --> 00:07:48,690
Why is what I do in the night suddenly
everybody's business?
145
00:07:48,780 --> 00:07:50,179
I want to help.
146
00:07:50,260 --> 00:07:52,854
It's not like snoring,
I don't do it when I'm asleep.
147
00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:56,137
No, not the roaring - the root cause.
148
00:07:56,220 --> 00:08:00,099
You and Jean were talking about how
life's becoming a tad predictable.
149
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:01,579
Is our bedroom bugged?
150
00:08:01,660 --> 00:08:03,093
Judy told me.
151
00:08:03,180 --> 00:08:05,694
Remind me to have a word with her
about discretion.
152
00:08:05,780 --> 00:08:08,010
She has your welfare at heart, so do I.
153
00:08:08,100 --> 00:08:10,739
Look, I know this is all
very well intentioned,
154
00:08:10,820 --> 00:08:12,173
but I don't need help.
155
00:08:12,260 --> 00:08:14,490
Jean told me this morning
it was just a mood.
156
00:08:14,580 --> 00:08:18,050
- Uh-oh.
- The word surprise is out of circulation.
157
00:08:18,140 --> 00:08:20,415
- Uh-oh.
- Why are you making those noises?
158
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:23,253
Because you are committing
the ultimate sin -
159
00:08:23,340 --> 00:08:24,819
you are believing her.
160
00:08:24,900 --> 00:08:26,777
She's an honest person.
161
00:08:26,860 --> 00:08:28,009
Hey, I know that.
162
00:08:28,100 --> 00:08:31,331
On a scale of one to ten for honesty,
the lady rates eleven.
163
00:08:31,420 --> 00:08:32,899
But she's lying.
164
00:08:33,940 --> 00:08:37,455
Taken from the Alistair Deacon
Guide To Understanding Women, is it?
165
00:08:37,540 --> 00:08:40,213
A slim volume - I don't pretend
to understand women
166
00:08:40,300 --> 00:08:43,656
but I am familiar
with the Please-Don't-Do-That syndrome.
167
00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:45,571
- I bet you are.
- Li, please.
168
00:08:45,660 --> 00:08:49,938
All right. And what is
this Please-Don't-Do-That syndrome?
169
00:08:50,020 --> 00:08:54,138
Let's see. You're out shopping
with your lady, right?
170
00:08:54,220 --> 00:08:57,895
And she falls in love
with a piece of jewellery, right?
171
00:08:57,980 --> 00:09:01,052
Now, this is some lady,
so you offer to buy it for her, right?
172
00:09:02,180 --> 00:09:06,059
- Possibly.
- Bear with me, Li, please.
173
00:09:06,140 --> 00:09:08,893
- And what does she say?
- "Ta"?
174
00:09:08,980 --> 00:09:10,572
"Ta"?
175
00:09:10,660 --> 00:09:14,733
All right, she probably says,
"It's very expensive, you shouldn't".
176
00:09:14,820 --> 00:09:17,937
Close. She says, "It's far too expensive,
you mustn't".
177
00:09:18,020 --> 00:09:19,658
Does she mean it?
178
00:09:19,740 --> 00:09:22,300
Look, this is all just so much
psychobabble.
179
00:09:22,380 --> 00:09:24,575
- Does she mean it?
- I don't even know her.
180
00:09:24,660 --> 00:09:28,812
Does Jean mean it when she says,
"No surprises"?
181
00:09:28,900 --> 00:09:31,972
If I'd come back a minute later,
I'd have missed you.
182
00:09:32,060 --> 00:09:35,609
- And we'd have been too late.
- Too late for what?
183
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,895
Shh!
184
00:09:37,980 --> 00:09:40,175
- Are you back?
- In here.
185
00:09:40,260 --> 00:09:41,932
Oh, how were the tanks and things?
186
00:09:42,020 --> 00:09:44,978
- Oh, hello, Alistair.
- Hey, those ain't Tesco's.
187
00:09:45,060 --> 00:09:47,938
I bought one dress and then another.
I didn't intend to,
188
00:09:48,020 --> 00:09:50,853
but then I liked one and then another,
I thought why not,
189
00:09:50,940 --> 00:09:53,534
and I bought them both.
Ridiculously expensive.
190
00:09:56,540 --> 00:09:57,893
What was that look for?
191
00:09:57,980 --> 00:09:59,971
Look? I didn't do a look.
192
00:10:00,060 --> 00:10:02,449
- Women do buy dresses.
- I didn't say a thing.
193
00:10:03,700 --> 00:10:06,294
I'm going to try them on,
I hope I still like them.
194
00:10:07,580 --> 00:10:10,413
Well, what was that look for?
195
00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:14,334
That is the l-Don't-Know-Why-
l-Bought-Two-Dresses syndrome,
196
00:10:16,340 --> 00:10:19,969
- She is bored.
- So it has to be surprise time.
197
00:10:20,060 --> 00:10:23,939
Perhaps. But I'm not clanking
down the road in a suit of armour.
198
00:10:25,140 --> 00:10:28,894
Of course not.
You are taking her to Barbados.
199
00:10:28,980 --> 00:10:31,289
Barbados? When?
200
00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:33,211
How about... tomorrow?
201
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:34,653
Tomorrow?
202
00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:39,370
- Could we do that?
- I'll fix everything.
203
00:10:39,460 --> 00:10:44,580
And remember, not a word to Jean
until the very moment before you leave.
204
00:10:44,660 --> 00:10:47,493
Surprise. Bye, Li.
205
00:10:48,900 --> 00:10:50,936
- I'll see you later.
- Right.
206
00:10:51,020 --> 00:10:54,808
Oh, now that one I like,
you look sensational.
207
00:10:54,900 --> 00:10:57,016
This is what I came in in.
208
00:10:58,460 --> 00:11:03,011
- Well, you look sensational anyway.
- Thank you. You're coming back later?
209
00:11:03,100 --> 00:11:05,978
Yes, yes. Just a few things to tidy up.
210
00:11:06,060 --> 00:11:08,016
You two have been doing housework?
211
00:11:10,300 --> 00:11:11,779
Nice one, nice one.
212
00:11:11,860 --> 00:11:15,853
Well, must run, places to go,
faces to talk to. Ciao!
213
00:11:15,940 --> 00:11:16,895
Bye.
214
00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:20,451
- I like them both.
- Who?
215
00:11:20,540 --> 00:11:23,373
- The dresses.
- Oh. Good.
216
00:11:24,500 --> 00:11:26,968
- You look a bit peculiar.
- Thank you.
217
00:11:27,060 --> 00:11:30,097
- What did Alistair want?
- Oh, this and that.
218
00:11:30,180 --> 00:11:32,694
- You know him.
- He says he's coming back later.
219
00:11:32,780 --> 00:11:34,293
- Yes.
- What for?
220
00:11:34,380 --> 00:11:36,894
Oh... this and that.
221
00:11:36,980 --> 00:11:39,448
- Would you like a drink?
- No, this and that what?
222
00:11:39,540 --> 00:11:41,417
- What?
- This and that what?
223
00:11:41,500 --> 00:11:43,218
Oh.
224
00:11:43,300 --> 00:11:46,690
Well, actually, he's trying to persuade me
to write another book.
225
00:11:46,780 --> 00:11:49,817
- Oh, what did you say?
- No, I said no.
226
00:11:49,900 --> 00:11:52,368
So why is he coming back later?
227
00:11:52,460 --> 00:11:54,416
To try again, I suppose.
228
00:11:54,500 --> 00:11:58,971
Perhaps he thinks that the longer the day
goes on, the weaker my resistance gets.
229
00:11:59,060 --> 00:12:00,778
Perhaps he does.
230
00:12:00,860 --> 00:12:03,374
- I bought a handbag too.
- Oh.
231
00:12:03,460 --> 00:12:05,815
- Did you? Good.
- I don't need another handbag!
232
00:12:05,900 --> 00:12:09,449
The why... It doesn't matter,
you can never have too many handbags.
233
00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:12,970
That was said with great authority.
234
00:12:13,060 --> 00:12:16,291
You still look peculiar,
are you sure everything's all right?
235
00:12:16,380 --> 00:12:18,098
Yes. Fine, really.
236
00:12:18,180 --> 00:12:20,136
There are the girls.
237
00:12:20,220 --> 00:12:24,816
- Why the excitement?
- It's always nice to see them, isn't it?
238
00:12:26,540 --> 00:12:30,215
No, not in there,
I want to talk to you. Here.
239
00:12:32,060 --> 00:12:35,655
- Where are you going?
- Er, we decided to cook the dinner.
240
00:12:35,740 --> 00:12:37,492
Oh, that's nice.
241
00:12:38,580 --> 00:12:41,140
- Isn't it a bit early?
- Erm...
242
00:12:41,220 --> 00:12:44,769
- Yes, I suppose it is.
- I'll go up and get changed then.
243
00:12:46,740 --> 00:12:49,618
Yes, I'll go up and get changed as well.
244
00:12:52,740 --> 00:12:54,617
Where are you going?
245
00:12:54,700 --> 00:12:56,452
I'm going up to get changed as well.
246
00:12:57,300 --> 00:13:00,337
- Why are you coming?
- I don't want to be left out!
247
00:13:04,860 --> 00:13:06,976
- Tomorrow?
- I know. Ridiculous, isn't it?
248
00:13:07,060 --> 00:13:10,291
I think it's really romantic,
two weeks in Barbados!
249
00:13:10,380 --> 00:13:14,498
It had to be these two weeks. Alistair
said it's the only time the villa's free.
250
00:13:14,580 --> 00:13:18,095
- I'm glad you said yes.
- Yeah, so am I, I think.
251
00:13:18,180 --> 00:13:19,408
What about packing?
252
00:13:19,500 --> 00:13:21,252
Oh, it doesn't take me long.
253
00:13:21,340 --> 00:13:23,058
I meant Jean.
254
00:13:23,140 --> 00:13:27,372
You can't just wake a woman up and
say, "You've got half an hour to pack".
255
00:13:27,460 --> 00:13:29,690
- Can't you?
- No, of course you can't.
256
00:13:29,780 --> 00:13:32,613
Mum would go to pieces,
she'd pack all the wrong stuff,
257
00:13:32,700 --> 00:13:34,656
then you'd be off to a bad start.
258
00:13:34,740 --> 00:13:38,938
All right, I'll sneak upstairs
and pack a case for her later.
259
00:13:41,180 --> 00:13:42,533
It's a bad idea, is it?
260
00:13:42,620 --> 00:13:46,056
- That's a terrible idea.
- You wouldn't know what to pack.
261
00:13:46,140 --> 00:13:48,290
No, you're right.
262
00:13:48,380 --> 00:13:51,372
Women always talk about little tops
when they go on holiday.
263
00:13:51,460 --> 00:13:53,815
You two can do it,
you know what she'd take.
264
00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:55,458
Yeah. Yeah, we could.
265
00:13:55,540 --> 00:13:59,897
But how would we pack a case with her
in the house? She'd be bound to hear us.
266
00:13:59,980 --> 00:14:01,811
Oh, why don't I just tell her now?
267
00:14:01,900 --> 00:14:04,653
- No, don't give up now.
- Well, what do we do then?
268
00:14:04,740 --> 00:14:07,573
Think of something.
269
00:14:09,820 --> 00:14:12,334
- Erm...
- Oh, how's the dinner going?
270
00:14:12,420 --> 00:14:15,617
- Oh, very well.
- You never did change.
271
00:14:15,700 --> 00:14:17,656
- Didn't I?
- You just sat on the bed
272
00:14:17,740 --> 00:14:22,177
- and talked to me while I changed.
- I don't really know why I went up.
273
00:14:22,260 --> 00:14:24,490
What say we go out to eat this evening?
274
00:14:25,980 --> 00:14:27,777
Well, the girls are cooking dinner.
275
00:14:27,860 --> 00:14:30,738
Yes, I know,
but it's nothing very exciting.
276
00:14:30,820 --> 00:14:33,209
Why should I want an exciting dinner?
277
00:14:33,300 --> 00:14:36,690
I don't know.
Break the mould a bit I suppose.
278
00:14:37,980 --> 00:14:39,732
Lionel.
279
00:14:41,500 --> 00:14:46,528
We had this conversation about dinner
last night and I said no thank you.
280
00:14:46,620 --> 00:14:48,099
Why are you asking me again?
281
00:14:48,180 --> 00:14:50,216
Women sometimes change their minds.
282
00:14:50,300 --> 00:14:52,689
I said I wanted to watch
something on TV.
283
00:14:52,780 --> 00:14:57,251
- What, that serial thing?
- It's not a "serial thing", it's a serial.
284
00:14:57,340 --> 00:14:59,774
I couldn't work out who was who.
285
00:14:59,860 --> 00:15:03,011
I'm not surprised, you slept through
most of the first episode.
286
00:15:03,100 --> 00:15:04,533
They're sure to repeat it.
287
00:15:04,620 --> 00:15:07,214
- Well, let's go out to dinner tomorrow.
- We can't.
288
00:15:07,300 --> 00:15:11,657
- Why?
- Well, um...
289
00:15:11,740 --> 00:15:15,938
- We could, yes.
- Well, make your mind up.
290
00:15:16,020 --> 00:15:18,056
I have. Tomorrow we shall have dinner
291
00:15:18,140 --> 00:15:21,689
somewhere where we've never had
dinner before. That's a promise.
292
00:15:21,780 --> 00:15:23,771
Oh! All right.
293
00:15:24,940 --> 00:15:26,896
Right then.
294
00:15:27,780 --> 00:15:31,819
Well, I'll go and get the sprouts on.
They never give them long enough.
295
00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:34,095
I'll get it.
296
00:15:34,180 --> 00:15:36,933
If that's Alistair,
stand firm about another book.
297
00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:39,693
- What?
- It doesn't matter.
298
00:15:41,380 --> 00:15:43,336
Shh!
299
00:15:43,420 --> 00:15:45,411
We are all systems go.
300
00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:49,732
Tickets, travellers' cheques,
and a car will pick you up in Bridgetown.
301
00:15:49,820 --> 00:15:52,288
- I'm very grateful.
- Hey, my pleasure.
302
00:15:53,900 --> 00:15:56,460
- What are you whispering about?
- It's a surprise.
303
00:15:56,540 --> 00:15:57,939
- What?!
- What?
304
00:16:00,300 --> 00:16:04,816
- For Judy.
- Oh, how lovely! Well, come in!
305
00:16:04,900 --> 00:16:07,255
I'll just see to the sprouts.
306
00:16:09,380 --> 00:16:11,689
Well, sit down, Alistair.
307
00:16:11,780 --> 00:16:13,736
What's the surprise for Judy?
308
00:16:15,380 --> 00:16:17,132
Oh, that!
309
00:16:17,220 --> 00:16:19,529
I'm planning to fly her to Paris.
310
00:16:19,620 --> 00:16:22,134
For lunch. Tomorrow.
311
00:16:22,220 --> 00:16:24,051
- Lunch?
- Yes.
312
00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:28,217
Oh, how lovely!
313
00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:30,097
Oh, I wish...
314
00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:33,656
- You wish what?
- Forget it.
315
00:16:36,380 --> 00:16:38,211
Did I hear Li say sprouts?
316
00:16:38,300 --> 00:16:41,098
Yes. He and the girls are cooking dinner.
317
00:16:41,180 --> 00:16:43,171
Stay and have some, if you're not busy.
318
00:16:43,260 --> 00:16:47,412
Oh, I'd like that.
Are you sure there'll be enough?
319
00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:50,617
Oh yes, when Lionel cooks,
there's always more than enough.
320
00:16:50,700 --> 00:16:52,770
He tends to think in army portions.
321
00:16:54,460 --> 00:16:57,418
- Good old Li.
- Yes.
322
00:16:57,500 --> 00:16:59,411
Alistair, do me a favour.
323
00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:01,252
- Anything.
- Leave him alone.
324
00:17:06,180 --> 00:17:07,533
Pardon?
325
00:17:07,620 --> 00:17:10,180
Well, he's happy.
He's perfectly content as he is.
326
00:17:10,260 --> 00:17:13,013
I hate to admit this,
but I'm not following you.
327
00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:15,933
- Don't pester him to write another book.
- I'm not!
328
00:17:16,020 --> 00:17:20,172
This morning Lionel said you were trying
to get him to write another book.
329
00:17:21,380 --> 00:17:23,655
Oh, that.
330
00:17:23,740 --> 00:17:27,096
That wasn't pestering -
that was just a gentle nudge.
331
00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:29,933
Well, no more nudging then,
however gentle.
332
00:17:30,020 --> 00:17:33,057
- You've got it.
- When are you telling Judy about Paris?
333
00:17:33,140 --> 00:17:35,779
Oh, er, tomorrow.
334
00:17:35,860 --> 00:17:40,217
Surprises are always best left
till the very last moment.
335
00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:43,775
Yes. I suppose so.
336
00:17:45,660 --> 00:17:47,412
Mum must be getting old
337
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:51,413
if she'd rather stay in and watch a serial
on television than go out to dinner.
338
00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:54,537
- Well, I did my best.
- Is it a loud serial?
339
00:17:54,620 --> 00:17:58,090
I don't think it can be,
it sent me to sleep. Why?
340
00:17:58,180 --> 00:18:02,014
Well, this packing. I suppose
we could try tiptoeing about upstairs
341
00:18:02,100 --> 00:18:04,534
but if it's one of those quiet
programmes...
342
00:18:04,620 --> 00:18:07,453
- Phew! Should have warned me, Li.
- What about?
343
00:18:07,540 --> 00:18:10,134
- My cover story for being here earlier.
- Oh.
344
00:18:10,220 --> 00:18:14,975
It's all right, I managed to squeeze
out of it and I'm staying to dinner.
345
00:18:16,060 --> 00:18:18,494
You can rush into my arms, if you like.
346
00:18:18,580 --> 00:18:20,571
Solve our problems and we just might.
347
00:18:20,660 --> 00:18:22,059
Name the problems.
348
00:18:22,140 --> 00:18:25,815
We wanted Mum out of the house so we
could do her packing for tomorrow.
349
00:18:25,900 --> 00:18:27,652
She wants to watch television.
350
00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:29,651
Mm, I see.
351
00:18:29,740 --> 00:18:31,651
I shall need a second or two on this one.
352
00:18:31,740 --> 00:18:34,812
- As long as that?
- Don't be sarcastic, Lionel.
353
00:18:34,900 --> 00:18:36,777
- We can't think of anything.
- I can.
354
00:18:36,860 --> 00:18:39,294
Give up the idea of secret packing
and tell Jean.
355
00:18:39,380 --> 00:18:41,530
- No!
- Hold everything!
356
00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:43,372
I'm about to be brilliant.
357
00:18:44,420 --> 00:18:46,490
- Is Jean a heavy sleeper?
- Fairly.
358
00:18:46,580 --> 00:18:49,811
We can't bang about and pack a suitcase
with her in the same room.
359
00:18:49,900 --> 00:18:52,209
But what if it weren't in the same room?
360
00:18:52,300 --> 00:18:54,734
How would we get the clothes
out of her wardrobe?
361
00:18:54,820 --> 00:18:58,256
No, I mean, what if Jean doesn't sleep
in her own room tonight?
362
00:18:58,340 --> 00:18:59,853
And just how do we manage that?
363
00:18:59,940 --> 00:19:03,216
Wait till she's asleep and dump her
on the landing?
364
00:19:04,300 --> 00:19:06,939
- Something a little more subtle, I think.
- What?
365
00:19:07,780 --> 00:19:09,213
Haven't thought of it yet.
366
00:19:19,940 --> 00:19:23,774
Was quiet, wasn't it?
367
00:19:23,860 --> 00:19:25,976
What, quiet as in boring?
368
00:19:26,060 --> 00:19:29,973
No, quiet as in not having
a lot of noise in it.
369
00:19:31,740 --> 00:19:33,492
What a funny thing to say!
370
00:19:33,580 --> 00:19:37,050
I think the sister with the limp
is at the bottom of it.
371
00:19:37,140 --> 00:19:39,529
Course not,
she couldn't cope with the stairs!
372
00:19:39,620 --> 00:19:41,690
Maybe it's a fake limp.
373
00:19:41,780 --> 00:19:44,578
She fell off a horse when she was five.
374
00:19:44,660 --> 00:19:46,412
- When?
- Last week.
375
00:19:47,380 --> 00:19:49,336
I didn't watch it last week.
376
00:19:49,420 --> 00:19:52,139
Don't jump to conclusions
about fake limps then!
377
00:19:53,220 --> 00:19:55,256
What's Lionel and Alistair doing?
378
00:19:55,340 --> 00:19:57,490
Having quality guy time in the kitchen.
379
00:19:57,580 --> 00:20:00,731
- Oh, my God!
- What is it?!
380
00:20:00,820 --> 00:20:03,618
Could somebody lend me a hand?
Alistair's fallen over.
381
00:20:03,700 --> 00:20:04,655
Is he hurt?
382
00:20:04,740 --> 00:20:07,937
The state he's in,
he's feeling no pain whatsoever.
383
00:20:08,020 --> 00:20:12,059
# Please release me, let me go
384
00:20:12,140 --> 00:20:15,212
- # For I don't... #
- For goodness' sake!
385
00:20:17,020 --> 00:20:19,454
Have I shrunk?
386
00:20:19,540 --> 00:20:23,135
Or have you all... got very tall?
387
00:20:23,220 --> 00:20:26,053
- Alistair Deacon, you're drunk.
- I've shrunk!
388
00:20:26,140 --> 00:20:29,928
- And I'm drunk as a skunk!
- This is your fault!
389
00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:32,534
I'm not his father.
He was fine sitting down.
390
00:20:32,620 --> 00:20:35,134
- He's sitting down now.
- I'm not a skunk!
391
00:20:35,220 --> 00:20:37,734
I am a mole and I live in a hole.
392
00:20:37,820 --> 00:20:39,651
Right, let's get him up, come on.
393
00:20:39,740 --> 00:20:42,379
- # Up, up and away, in my... #
- Be quiet, Alistair!
394
00:20:42,460 --> 00:20:43,813
Shh! Shh!
395
00:20:43,900 --> 00:20:45,652
#...beautiful balloon #
396
00:20:45,740 --> 00:20:49,813
- What shall we do?
- Take him upstairs and put him to bed!
397
00:20:49,900 --> 00:20:51,891
- Very well.
- Come on, Mr Mole.
398
00:20:51,980 --> 00:20:53,732
No, no, no, please!
399
00:20:56,100 --> 00:20:59,137
- This is guy stuff.
- It's all right, I can manage.
400
00:20:59,220 --> 00:21:01,450
I wish you were my father, Li.
401
00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:06,690
- Keep walking!
- # Comrades, comrades
402
00:21:06,780 --> 00:21:09,340
# Ever since we were boys
403
00:21:09,420 --> 00:21:12,298
# Sharing in life's sorrows
sharing in life's joys #
404
00:21:12,380 --> 00:21:13,813
You're overacting.
405
00:21:13,900 --> 00:21:17,859
# Sharing in life's sorrows
sharing in life's joys #
406
00:21:19,180 --> 00:21:23,378
I can't understand it. He only had
two glasses of wine at dinner.
407
00:21:23,460 --> 00:21:26,930
But they had another two bottles
while we were watching that serial.
408
00:21:27,020 --> 00:21:30,899
- Why would he do that?
- Boys will be boys, I suppose.
409
00:21:30,980 --> 00:21:34,689
- And so will grown men sometimes.
- Lionel seems perfectly all right.
410
00:21:34,780 --> 00:21:38,739
Well, you've tasted his chilli con carne -
he's got guts of iron.
411
00:21:38,820 --> 00:21:41,254
- Sleeping like a baby.
- I'm not surprised.
412
00:21:41,340 --> 00:21:43,808
Who's room's he in, Sandy's or Judy's?
413
00:21:43,900 --> 00:21:46,368
- Ours.
- Ours?
414
00:21:46,460 --> 00:21:48,928
I didn't want to barge about
in the girls' rooms.
415
00:21:49,020 --> 00:21:52,137
- Where are we going to sleep?
- No problem, you have my room,
416
00:21:52,220 --> 00:21:54,654
- I'll sleep in with Sandy.
- It's a single bed.
417
00:21:54,740 --> 00:21:57,413
- We'll manage.
- I'm talking about us.
418
00:21:57,500 --> 00:22:01,288
We can squeeze in. If you're really
worried, I can always sleep on the floor.
419
00:22:01,380 --> 00:22:03,769
And get that martyred look?
No, thank you.
420
00:22:03,860 --> 00:22:07,375
Oh, we'll manage - it's just all so silly.
421
00:22:11,100 --> 00:22:13,136
- It worked!
- You'll get Mum to sleep
422
00:22:13,220 --> 00:22:14,938
as soon as possible, won't you?
423
00:22:18,460 --> 00:22:21,452
What do you expect me to do,
sing her a lullaby?
424
00:22:21,540 --> 00:22:24,054
Just knock on our door
when she's asleep.
425
00:22:24,140 --> 00:22:26,654
For goodness' sake,
don't fall asleep yourself.
426
00:22:26,740 --> 00:22:28,458
I suppose this is all worth it.
427
00:22:28,540 --> 00:22:32,692
- Do you want a punch on the nose?
- Two punches on the nose.
428
00:22:32,780 --> 00:22:34,736
Course it's worth it.
429
00:23:00,740 --> 00:23:03,698
- You were a long time!
- She wouldn't go to sleep.
430
00:23:03,780 --> 00:23:06,340
- Now let's get packing.
- I'd better come with you.
431
00:23:06,420 --> 00:23:07,773
- Why?
- Well...
432
00:23:07,860 --> 00:23:09,816
You're a dying breed, Lionel.
433
00:23:09,900 --> 00:23:13,131
Look, you get back to bed with Mum,
just in case she stirs.
434
00:23:13,220 --> 00:23:18,294
I just hope she doesn't spread out or I'll
never be able to get back into bed again.
435
00:23:24,500 --> 00:23:29,176
Now, is this a fantasy,
or is this a fantasy?
436
00:23:29,260 --> 00:23:33,811
- If it is, it's a very peculiar one.
- Two beauties creeping into my room?
437
00:23:33,900 --> 00:23:37,051
- And packing a suitcase?
- Takes all sorts, I suppose.
438
00:23:37,140 --> 00:23:39,608
Here, let me do that.
439
00:23:42,700 --> 00:23:44,656
- It's heavier than it looks.
- Come on.
440
00:23:44,740 --> 00:23:46,492
There must be something in it.
441
00:23:46,580 --> 00:23:47,729
Shh!
442
00:23:49,380 --> 00:23:52,531
- It's all right.
- I tell you, I heard a thump.
443
00:23:52,620 --> 00:23:55,293
- You imagined it.
- Quick, lights.
444
00:24:02,540 --> 00:24:06,374
- Let's just go back to bed!
- Not so loud!
445
00:24:12,900 --> 00:24:15,016
Look, he's fallen out of bed.
446
00:24:15,100 --> 00:24:18,615
- That's all right, come on.
- No, we can't just leave him like that!
447
00:24:18,700 --> 00:24:21,658
Well, if we wake him up,
he might start singing again.
448
00:24:21,740 --> 00:24:24,538
- He's sound asleep.
- Yes, well come on.
449
00:24:24,620 --> 00:24:26,975
- Come on.
- Oh, Lionel!
450
00:24:30,180 --> 00:24:31,533
All clear!
451
00:24:31,620 --> 00:24:34,293
Right. Let's ride our luck
and get cracking.
452
00:24:34,380 --> 00:24:37,577
No, hang on, we've got to give Mum
time to get back to sleep.
453
00:24:45,460 --> 00:24:48,133
Might as well have a lie-down
while we're waiting.
454
00:24:51,140 --> 00:24:52,129
- Be on their way by now.
- I'll never forget Mum's face
455
00:24:52,180 --> 00:24:53,169
- Be on their way by now.
- I'll never forget Mum's face
456
00:24:53,260 --> 00:24:55,933
when Lionel told her. Thanks, Alistair.
457
00:24:56,020 --> 00:24:59,137
Hey, I got the fantasy of two beauties
creeping into my room,
458
00:24:59,220 --> 00:25:01,131
what more could a guy ask for?
459
00:25:02,860 --> 00:25:05,328
- That's the front door.
- Oh, no.
460
00:25:08,740 --> 00:25:10,412
- Hello!
- Hello.
461
00:25:10,500 --> 00:25:13,458
- Why?
- I double-checked everything.
462
00:25:13,540 --> 00:25:15,690
I know you did, Alistair, but I didn't.
463
00:25:15,780 --> 00:25:17,736
Not your fault, you couldn't have known.
464
00:25:17,820 --> 00:25:20,015
- Known what?
- My passport's out of date.
465
00:25:23,260 --> 00:25:26,172
Well, it's the last time
I ever try to arrange a surprise.
466
00:25:26,260 --> 00:25:30,219
You did brilliantly. You all did brilliantly.
467
00:25:30,300 --> 00:25:33,417
- Never mind sounds totally inadequate.
- Never mind.
468
00:25:33,500 --> 00:25:36,651
Don't unpack! You are leaving
for Barbados tomorrow.
469
00:25:36,740 --> 00:25:38,970
- How? We can't.
- If Sandy and I stand in line
470
00:25:39,060 --> 00:25:42,211
at the passport office all day,
we'll come home with a new one.
471
00:25:42,300 --> 00:25:45,417
I make a few calls, change the travel
and ticket arrangements.
472
00:25:45,500 --> 00:25:47,775
You can make sure we packed
the right things.
473
00:25:47,860 --> 00:25:49,612
And we get some sleep tonight.
474
00:25:49,700 --> 00:25:53,329
- OK, troops, move out.
- How lovely!
475
00:25:53,420 --> 00:25:55,490
- They're good kids.
- Kids?
476
00:25:55,580 --> 00:26:01,257
From where I stand, yes. Talking of kids,
I've got another surprise for you.
477
00:26:01,340 --> 00:26:03,729
You're not pregnant?
478
00:26:05,860 --> 00:26:08,374
I was going to wait
until we got to Barbados,
479
00:26:08,460 --> 00:26:10,576
but I don't want to save it till then.
480
00:26:10,660 --> 00:26:12,013
What is it?
481
00:26:12,100 --> 00:26:14,660
- The lmperial War Museum.
- What about it?
482
00:26:14,740 --> 00:26:17,652
Well, they had a BFPO exhibition on.
483
00:26:17,740 --> 00:26:19,731
Is that a tank?
484
00:26:19,820 --> 00:26:22,892
No, it's not a tank -
British Forces Post Office.
485
00:26:22,980 --> 00:26:25,175
- Oh.
- Letters home from the front,
486
00:26:25,260 --> 00:26:29,936
- to wives and sweethearts.
- Well, sorry, but I don't...
487
00:26:32,820 --> 00:26:35,095
- The letter?
- Yes.
488
00:26:35,180 --> 00:26:37,694
There it was, all faded in a glass case.
489
00:26:38,740 --> 00:26:43,973
A letter from Second Lieutenant
Hardcastle to Nurse Jean Pargetter.
490
00:26:44,060 --> 00:26:45,652
Posted in Korea.
491
00:26:45,740 --> 00:26:49,733
But it never arrived. How could it have
ended up in the lmperial War Museum?
492
00:26:49,820 --> 00:26:52,254
- I haven't any idea.
- We've got to see it.
493
00:26:52,340 --> 00:26:55,093
It's all right -
they've photocopied it for me.
494
00:26:59,500 --> 00:27:00,819
Ah!
495
00:27:00,900 --> 00:27:03,209
There.
496
00:27:03,300 --> 00:27:04,653
Sorry it's a bit late.
497
00:27:06,780 --> 00:27:09,738
"My darling Jean..."
498
00:27:17,540 --> 00:27:19,496
What's that word?
499
00:27:20,660 --> 00:27:22,412
Er... "miracle".
500
00:27:26,660 --> 00:27:28,013
Ah!
501
00:27:29,420 --> 00:27:31,934
- If I'd have got that...
- No ifs.
502
00:27:33,820 --> 00:27:36,493
Oh, it's a beautiful letter, Lionel.
503
00:27:37,500 --> 00:27:39,570
You really did love me.
504
00:27:40,740 --> 00:27:42,492
I still do.
505
00:27:43,580 --> 00:27:45,855
Oh!
506
00:27:52,020 --> 00:27:56,696
# Moonlight and love songsnever out of date
507
00:27:57,940 --> 00:28:02,013
# Hearts full of passionjealousy and hate
508
00:28:03,100 --> 00:28:07,890
# Woman needs manand man must have his mate
509
00:28:07,980 --> 00:28:12,417
# That no one can deny
510
00:28:13,700 --> 00:28:19,058
# It's still the same old storya fight for love and glory
511
00:28:19,140 --> 00:28:22,655
# A case of do or die
512
00:28:24,740 --> 00:28:28,972
# The world will always welcome lovers
513
00:28:30,740 --> 00:28:39,091
# As time goes by #
40934
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