Original subtitles

Look, I'm gonna be 16 In five days,

And, well, it's time to make Some changes in my life.

Every year I have a party and I invite the same two people,

Lily and sam.

And it's great. We hang out alone.

But, um...

Well, I just think It's time that I...

Expand my social circle

And... My horizons.

From now on, I am identifying my goals,

And I am going after them.

I'm gonna get On that cheerleading squad,

No matter what it takes.

And then I'll have...

Well, a real boyfriend.

Get married.

Have 2.5 kids And a fully loaded minivan.

I'm getting rid Of everything that has Brought me down, big-time.

Starting with you.

You tempt me, and then...

I give in.

And then I hate myself.

Oh, god.

You're so seductive.

Okay.

One more quickie,

And then we're over.

Forever.

"Hope you can make it."

Oh, look, Friday night at carmen's.

It...

Well, it was sweet Of her to ask us.

Can you imagine the guest list?

It's like being invited To the jerry lewis telethon.

"B.Y.O.B."

They can have booze?

That means bag. See? Bring your own sleeping bag.

To put over your head in case Anyone sees your social shame.

Aren't we a little old For slumber parties anyway?

Gosh, the last time I had one, I must've been ten or something.

Well, harrison, seems there's A party friday you can crash.

It's a slumber party.

And this may come As a surprise to you, sam,

But I am actually Of a different gender.

Hey.

I'm just tired Of being the friend.

You know? Okay, yeah.

Um, 911? I have several E! Fashion emergencies To report

At the home Of carmen ferrara.

It's a waste Of a quarter!

Hi, carmen.

Carmen, They're laughing at you. What possessed you?

I don't know, carm. This party has some Serious carrie potential.

Aren't we enough? Why invite them?

When we were little, We invited everyone.

When we were little, We used to eat play-doh.

Okay. Look, Here's the deal.

I know that they're Probably not gonna come.

And I know they're Probably making fun of me For inviting them, but..

But what?

Well, what's worse?

Hiding away and just Accepting the fact that They think I'm a loser,

Or being strong And fighting back?

Every time they Laugh at me, it hurts.

But I just know that If I keep at it, maybe...

One day they'll come around

And, I don't know, at least Admire me for my guts.

Just think of it Like... A sorority.

There's pledge week, And if you make it Through that first week,

Then you've Paid your dues.

You've passed The ultimate test.

So I just have to make it Through my hell week.

Hell year. Hell decade.

I'm not a quitter.

And I'm not gonna be Someone who gives up

Just because they don't Make it the first time.

That makes me as pathetic As they think I am.

Excuse me.

This is her birthday party.

It shouldn't be about Making her mom or brooke And her friends happy.

No offense, sammie, But it shouldn't be about Making you happy, either.

Carm's just tired Of always being on The outside looking in.

Believe me, I know the feeling.

♪ think it over once or twice ♪

♪ what lasts the longest in this life ♪

♪ character or rock-hard thighs ♪

♪ in the end do you believe ♪

♪ that beauty lies in what you see ♪

♪ 'cause if you do then, baby ♪

♪ you've been deceived ♪

♪ well, me and b ♪

♪ we hate supermodels ♪

♪ it's just that I'm tired of being compared ♪

Now, I'm not chicken... Oh. When can I see you?

You are seeing me.

I mean see you, see you.

I think I'd like to have My own little slumber party.

How about friday night?

How about now?

Well, I've never seen Brooke's eartha kitt Impersonation before.

We devoured the new issue Of seventeen last night.

There was an article that said All you need to make a boy happy

Is aggression and the Perfect shade of plum lip gloss.

Nobody's here, and nurse glass Is giving hearing tests In the cafeteria.

What is up with you? Did you watch titanic Again last night?

Now, when can I see you?

Maybe when the girls Go to college.

oh, I can't wait that long. I am obsessed.

why don't we just go park somewhere?

we can do it in the back of a car.

This beats the back of a car, Doesn't it, baby?

Mm. Is this okay?

Mm-hmm. Me being aggressive?

Mm. Mm!

Do you like My plum lip gloss?

It's tasty, like you.

Funny.

We never made out...

...During the day.

Well, there's A big reason for that.

I'm... I mean It's just, um...

it's more romantic at night.

Well, you can delay the wave Of my magic wand all you want,

But know this: You can't...

...Fight chemistry.

Mm.

[screaming]

Here's the deal.

We're making a date, And we're doing it friday night.

it's been a long time since we've been... Sexy together,

and I need it.

You.

[phone beeps] Wait. Somebody's beeping me.

Hang on. Hello?

Mr. Mcqueen, this is Nurse jessie glass calling From the kennedy high clinic.

Hey, sis, I need a midol.

[sniffs] Oh, I smell sex and candy.

Got that right, bob. Top drawer.

Hm.

Mr. Mcqueen, just thought You should know

I stumbled upon brooke And josh ford

In a cubicle making the best Of their teen saliva.

put brooke on the phone.

It's for you.

Daddy?

[bell rings]

Coitus? Interruptus.

We got busted by nurse glass.

She called my dad.

So, for punishment, Josh and I have to do The romeo and juliet thing.

A week of balcony, no climb.

Oh. Oh, god, it sucks.

Oh, my god.

What?

James dean fantasy, Ten o'clock.

Hi, I'm nicole.

This is brooke. She's got a boyfriend.

Hi. Leo.

Oh, my god. What a coincidence. I'm a leo.

Really? Hey, sorry I'm late.

Hey, carmen. Hi.

Whatever. It's not like We're waiting for you.

I was.

This is my big brother, leo.

Oh, hey, hey, carmen!

I am so loving Your hello kitty purse.

Really?

Oh, yeah.

Thanks.

You girls coming to Carmen's party on friday?

You only turn 16 once.

Bye.

Did you hear the father Of my future spawn

Majorly hinting To meet him at the party?

We're going to carmen's?

Brooke and josh, hello.

Balcony, with climb. Thank you.

I bet you'd come if Brooke mcqueen were coming.

I am so over Brooke mcqueen.

Why would I come? I've already seen you And carmen in your pajamas.

When?

He used to come over Whenever sam slept over.

My mission, If I chose to accept it,

Was to try and sneak in Without setting off the alarm.

Sorry, girls, I've grown up.

Carm, my boss from hell Put me on the schedule Friday night.

Lily, you said you Were gonna ask off.

I did, but julio Got hepatitis, So now I have to...

Remind me to never eat At that particular mr. Cluck's.

It's okay, 'cause it'll probably Be just the three of us anyway.

So why don't I move it To next weekend?

Really? Yeah.

That would be So excellent. Yeah.

Hi, harrison. Hey, brooke.

How's it going? It's cool.

Carmen, about your party...

Yeah, it's okay. I figured You guys would be busy.

We've managed To clear our schedules.

Wow, did satan Find somebody else to guard The gates of hades that night?

Sam.

Actually, spam, we got confused.

Um, the new gwyneth movie Opens two weekends from now.

So, knock-knock.

Who's there?

We are, friday night.

I'll see ya.

Come on, girls.

Um, you know what?

I probably should keep The party this friday,

Because my mom's Been planning on it, And she made decorations.

Okay.

And so, hell week begins.

[bell rings]

They're up to something, I know it, and it's up to us To watch carmen's back.

No, it's up to you To watch her back.

I'll be watching The damn chickens.

I think they're doing this To get back at me.

I am linked to brooke mcqueen Now for the time being.

For the time being?

Aren't your parents Knocking boots and settling in For the long haul?

I have not seen any Concrete evidence of that.

Look, I can handle Mean mcqueen and her posse,

But carmen's different.

I don't want her To get hurt.

Yeah, but you're Feeling hurt, aren't you?

I mean, come on, sammie.

It stings that carmen Chose the cheerleaders over us.

That harrison Is working through His brooke mcqueen obsession,

And maybe he's not being As attentive to you As he used to be.

And the worst betrayal of all, Your mom is swapping love With brooke's dad.

It's been A rough semester so far.

Oh, I don't know, lil.

It's just you'd think They'd have some loyalty

Toward those who love 'em Just the way they are.

And even though I think Carmen's gone off the deep end,

We cannot let them go After her just for sport.

I know.

And of course, Irony of ironies,

There's only one person Powerful enough to keep that From happening.

So, I'm gonna leave The window open to my bedroom At carmen's house.

Nicole's gonna make sure I get a room that's... Man-accessible.

So long as I'm the man.

You're the man, baby.

What?

You know, it's just That you don't have to

Wear any kind of Special makeup for me.

I actually love you The best when you're Scrubbed and natural.

It's interesting, isn't it?

Guys say, don't wear Very much makeup,

And then the magazines Say, no, you need it,

Because without it you just Look mousy and plain.

A girl can get pulled In a lot of different Directions these days, huh?

So many evil plots to plan, So little time.

Wow. Even nominal chitchat With you just goes straight To the gutter level, doesn't it?

Why do I even try?

Don't go to carmen's party, Brooke. Please.

Sam...

I actually like carmen. I mean, she's...

Disposable?

What? Finish your sentence.

Would you rather us hurt Her feelings by just Declining the invitation?

Somehow, I don't think This is about carmen's feelings.

Carmen thinks perseverance Will get you to accept her, But I don't think so.

I think you're gonna Try to destroy her,

Or rather, Let nicole do it for you,

And this time I will not Let you get away with that.

I wouldn't do that.

And you know what?

I can see why carmen's Casting around for new friends

When the ones she has Are trying to get people To blow off her party.

oh, come on, bob.

It'll be fun, Having our own little Slumber party.

It'll be a gas.

We'll pop popcorn, Watch who's that girl?

Of all the sisters In the world, I had to get a girl.

Ugh!

Uh, nic, you guys aren't Planning on doing anything Mean with carmen, are you?

I just want to make it clear, Because this is her house, And we need to be nice.

Maybe we could freeze her bra, Or put nair in the shampoo.

I mean, anything to Keep our hand in.

No. Nicole, I don't want to Be the person sam mcpherson Thinks I am.

I... I'm not That person, okay?

So we are not doing Anything even remotely heinous Or mean at this party.

You got it?

Okay, hon. I mean, If you're laying down the law,

Of course I'll be nice As pie to the birthday girl.

Thank you.

I mean, I wouldn't even Dream of taking any more Advantage of carmen

Than you are by going To her party just 'cause You want to be with josh.

Carm, I don't want you To get your hopes up.

Can we not even make A simple party list here

Without you being down On everything?

They are coming, sam, And they have been Nothing but nice to me.

And I don't know why you can't Admit that you're wrong.

[no audible dialogue]

Sit down, hon.

We've got a lot To get through.

A list of our needs, Vis-a-vis the optimal Slumber party experience.

Okay, got it.

okay, carmen, they have let you in the sorority front door.

this is the rushing part. don't blow it, girlfriend.

what do they talk about during rush?

oh, yeah, of course.

Hey, wasn't gwyneth So great in sliding doors?

Yeah, okay. See, carmen, hon,

That was two years ago.

I think somebody needs To put their lunch money

Towards a subscription To in style magazine.

Right. I will get right On that, mary cherry.

We assume that cute brother Will be there friday night.

Has our leo Found love yet?

Oh, well, not really.

I mean, he kind of Has his endless supply Of crunchy girlfriends.

You know, birkenstocks And underarm hair.

But... [bell dings]

Oh, you can get them By the box.

It's like getting A whole one.

If you could note Number 11,

Very importante.

My god. You just sunk A three-pointer there. Yeah.

I've been told I have good hands.

You know what? You're like a super hero.

Whenever I need you, There you are.

Cafeteria man. Able to Retrieve and recycle In a single bound.

Hey, do you know What's funny?

I was thinking about Something last night.

Do you remember when you were My slumber party sentry?

You want me to get you A coke, harrison? For the caffeine. Over.

I won't fall asleep, Brooke. Over.

I don't want those creeps Peeking in the windows

Thinking back at school that They saw our training bras. Over.

I won't let 'em.

I'll beat 'em up If they try. Ten-four.

Remember, keep the boys out.

Over.

Hey, no one got a glimpse Of panties on my watch.

Yeah. Are you going To carmen's party?

I don't know, brooke. I'm a busy guy.

Yeah, but if you're not there, It just won't be the same.

Is that right?

Absolutely.

Harrison, I mean, What if the boys come?

Right.

I'll talk to you later.

See ya.

So, at lunch, what were You and the cheerleaders Talking about?

Mm, gwyneth, Ricky martin, stds.

Putting in your dues isn't As bad as I thought it would be.

Oh, will you remind me That when we go shopping, I've got to get tab?

Tab? I hate Diet drinks.

Then don't drink it.

I've also got to get A couple bottles of Ipecac, whatever that is.

That's the stuff You give babies To make them throw up.

Really?

'cause that's all Mary cherry says she drinks.

Sheets? You're buying them 400-count sheets?

Yeah, 'cause brooke and nicole Requested beds, and I don't mind Sleeping on the floor.

This is unbelievable. It's like five minutes With them,

And my best friend Becomes a child of the corn.

Sam, this is what I want.

Okay? If I can get These girls to like me,

I might actually get On the squad next year.

That's a lofty goal-- Wearing a little skirt

And a dopey smile and Completely changing your life?

It's absolutely worth Losing a best friend over.

Have a great party.

Sam!

Mom, would you stop, please?

You're just like carmen, Whipping yourself all in A frenzy for the wrong reasons.

You shouldn't change Your body for a guy.

[laughs] This isn't for mike. It's for me.

Are you up for A movie tonight?

Aren't you going To carmen's party?

No, I don't like The guest list.

Oh, sam.

I thought you were gonna Try and be civil to brooke.

You have to remember, She hasn't had it easy. Her mother walked out--

That was eight years ago, And she's still milking it. Can we please go out?

I just want to Stay home, honey.

You know, why is it Whenever there's a conflict Between me and brooke,

You always choose brooke?

Are you trying to earn Points with mike or what?

You know That's not true, sammie.

I got to be honest with you, I'm disappointed in you.

Do you know when I was Most proud of you?

When you were in kindergarten, And you'd bring home Your report cards,

And they'd say, "Plays well with others."

You wouldn't get that grade now. You'd flunk that course.

So would your darling brooke.

It seems to me She's going to the party.

She's making an effort.

She's going there To be mean to carmen, To hurt her.

Nicole will do the dirty work, And brooke will stand by Like she always does,

Spineless and yet Perfectly preserved.

I don't think brooke would Let somebody do something Intentionally cruel.

Okay, mom, you know what? I'll go to the party.

And when I come home, You and I can bond over The atrocities

I'm sure her And her ladies-in-waiting Are going to commit tonight.

Maybe then with proof, You'll start siding With the right person.

[doorbell rings]

[all] Hi, carm! Hi. Come on in.

Happy birthday.

Thanks, brooke.

Happy birthday!

Oh, hi.

Hi. Happy birthday. Can you take that?

Sure. Thanks, sweetie.

Okay.

Carm?

Hey.

Hey.

Happy birthday.

maybe my mom's right. maybe I am overreacting.

brooke has been nice, and she's not taking advantage of carmen at all.

why is it I'm here in a room full of people

and yet I've never felt more alone?

[brooke] Nicole's right. I'm a hypocrite.

I'm here taking advantage of carmen.

but everybody's on their best behavior,

and maybe it's not so bad coming here and giving carmen what she wanted.

I wish my breasts bounced.

[carmen] My god, brooke is so perfect and so super-skinny.

note to self: no birthday cake.

[harrison] I hope carmen's right.

gotta keep paying your dues.

[giggles]

My god, penis pasta.

Yeah, you have to Eat it al dente.

Ew.

So, do you want to hear A song I wrote?

It's called "Decapitated rat." okay.

♪ I'm a prize ♪

♪ drug in by the cat Like a mouse or a bird ♪

♪ or a decapitated rat... ♪ Yeah, okay, hon.

You're a good fiddle player. We get it. Thanks.

You forgot a gift.

Oh.

It's a poem.

Aw.

"On the occasion of Your sixteenth birthday."

Sam, when you graduate, You could totally get A job at hallmark.

She so could.

She has a poem For, like, every occasion.

When we were 13, She wrote me a poem called,

"On the occasion Of your first period."

[all] Ew!

[all laughing]

Wait, sam, Where you going...

Come back. I was kidding.

Where's she going?

She's gonna miss the makeovers,

And she needs one.

Oh, I'll go get her.

Thank you.

Thanks, you guys. This stuff is great.

intruder. Intruder. Intruder.

intruder.

[hits bad note]

Oh... Oh, hi.

Leo.

Hi. Right, hi.

Oh, wow. I was just looking for The little girl's room, but...

Oh. I love a good bean bag.

Oh.

Yo, scrub!

What do you think You're doing here?

The mans are here!

The official players' Panty raid!

So why don't you take your Perverted peeping little self

And run along home?

You got a lot of bravado, Sugar daddy,

For a guy who's still playing Bench on the pee-wee leagues.

Yo. Hey, you get around To first base, yo!

And the season's coming To a close. Word!

Whoa, sugar.

Who you here for, Harrison? Mcpherson?

I don't think that's Any of your business, ford.

Do you have a room Ready and waiting?

'cause my girl booked me A suite in this here Love motel.

So it's time for me To go see my baby.

Yeah, good luck.

What's that supposed to mean?

[cell phone rings]

Hello? hey.

Look up. Where?

Hey, babe!

There's an alarm. How we gonna crack it?

Let me talk to harrison.

She wants to talk To you, harry.

Hey, brooke. hey, harrison.

Um, could you be my knight In shining armor again?

there's an alarm. Um...

Sure. Yeah, I know the code.

If I can help you guys out, Hey, I'm there.

It's 1954, and the panel you Punch it into is by the door.

Okay. Hold on.

Thanks.

[giggles]

Romeo, romeo, Wherefore art thou, romeo?

Coming!

It's rough, huh, scrub?

Girls who look like brooke Go for guys who are like josh.

We ain't got a chance.

Come on.

Oh, I would have given anything To be at the real woodstock,

Where it was just peace And love and, oh, the music.

Sammie?

Leo? I didn't know You were home.

Look at you. All grown up.

You're a babe.

So, how's life At the daily planet?

Did you close down Any toxic waste dumps lately?

I'm trying.

Well, as a former Football player,

I'm sure you'll be Dismayed to hear, leo,

That she tried her best To close down The cheerleading squad.

Oh! Is that right?

[nicole] Oh.

You go, girl.

I mean, women are actually Playing sports now.

There's no reason for them To be freezing their asses off In those little miniskirts.

Yeah, I agree.

Nic, I don't mean To embarrass you,

But it must be getting Close to midnight.

You're starting to spread hair In strange places.

Good. I'm glad You like my costume.

It's an homage To your friends.

I like to call it, "Loser hippy chick."

[laughs]

What the hell was that?

Don't ask. Just...

Time for the party games.

I'd like to thank The academy,

My hair colorist,

And of course brad pitt, Ben affleck,

And all my other beaus Whose fame and fortune

I've now eclipsed.

Gwyneth, when I snap my fingers, You will awake.

Ooh.

Oh! Oh, my god!

She just hypnotized you Into thinking you were Gwyneth paltrow.

Take me back there. I want to go back.

Mary cherry, You've had your turn.

Who's next?

I love slumber parties.

So that's it? You dropped out After three years of college

And snowboarded Around europe? Yep.

But you did everything In high school.

You were a legend.

I thought you'd be A big deal by now.

Yeah, well, You and me both, sam.

What happened?

Life.

I had a head-on collision With the future.

In high school, It's all about potential.

When it ends, You've got to deliver.

And... I didn't have Any idea how to do that.

So you've moved Back here to...

Try and figure out How to grow up.

I don't want to be One of those guys who Topped out in high school.

You know? Something tells me You won't be.

So, why aren't you At that party having fun?

Oh.

I guess I got My invitation,

But I don't really Feel invited.

Ah.

Brilliant metaphor For life in your early 20s.

But in my case, I got my invitation.

I just neglected To r.S.V.P.

And now I... And now...

You're trying to figure out Some way to crash.

How old are you again?

[horn honks]

That's my ride.

I gotta go.

Hot date?

Ah, one of those cheerleaders You mentioned I used to date.

She works at pizza hut now.

Well, hey.

I've got this resume Format builder in my computer.

If you ever need any help Getting back on track,

I'm just a phone call away.

I'll take you up on that.

[clucking]

Chicken, Bring me some chex mix.

[clucking]

That's it. Good job.

[clucks] Very nice.

[mary] She really is hypnotized.

It's magic.

[clucks] Stop it.

Chicken, I said, Bring me some chex mix.

Carm, what's the matter With you?

Carmen's not here. She's been hypnotized.

She's a chicken.

Hey, sam, you want To hear my new poem?

"On the occasion Of being a chicken."

[clucking] Great, carm. Real nice.

Stay here and have a blast With your new dumb clucks.

[clucks]

Happy birthday.

[clucks]

You know what?

I think it's time For a midnight snack.

Of chicken!

[laughing]

[clucking]

I've lost all sensation In my lips.

[knocking]

Oh, god, carmen's mom.

This is her room, isn't it?

[knocking]

[whispering]

[knocking]

Sam, what are you doing?

I knew you'd be in here Doing something dirty.

I don't know what You're talking about. I just fell asleep in the bed.

Well, then there's a pretty Aggressive mattress in here

With a predisposition Toward mashing.

Check your smeared lipstick. You look like a hooker.

Don't you have A party to get back to?

Mary cherry's right. With your sour puss, You are in definite need

Of makeover fun and frolic.

I am done with The sadistic reindeer games.

But f.Y.I., if your conscience Calls, maybe you could go Call of your henchwoman.

They're doing exactly What you promised they wouldn't.

They just hypnotized carmen Into thinking she's a chicken.

S-sam...

Look, you're probably Overreacting, okay?

You lied to me in The novak when you told me You liked carmen.

You don't. She's just another Person you can walk all over To get your way.

She chose you, brooke. God, just like my mother does.

Why are people blinded by you? Why am I the only one Who sees through you?

I didn't lie about carmen. Okay? I like her.

Yeah.

You're just a paragon Of truth, aren't you?

You want to look me In the face

And tell me you don't have your Boyfriend stashed in the closet?

Hi, sam.

I'll leave you lovebirds To your nesting.

So, did you tell carmen You were coming here For a party?

Brooke?

Did she think You want to be her friend?

Mm-hmm.

Suddenly, I don't feel All that sexy anymore.

Great.

Okay, chicken, You know the plan.

Here's your chicken money... Bok.

Chicken, to buy yourself A big old bucket Of your brethren.

Bok. Bok.

Bok.

[clucking]

Okay, now why isn't Mary cherry in?

She said fast-food joints Breed e coli poisoning.

She's too much of a lady To get the lady diarrheas. [horn honking]

Josh is gone.

Yeah.

Him and everybody else.

I suppose this is the part where I come to your rescue again.

I'm not doing that Anymore, brooke.

I'm not gonna be your lookout...

And I'm not driving you home.

Call nicole on her cell phone. She'll come pick you up.

You can join her And carmen down at mr. Cluck's For a nice girls' night out.

I'm done with this!

Harrison, you have to Take me to them.

I can't anymore, brooke. I won't.

No, please, harrison. This time it's not for me.

Please.

[giggling]

[man giggling]

[woman laughing]

I can't believe We did it on the kitchen floor.

I can't believe You don't like your body.

Oh, I have a mommy tummy. I think it's adorable.

No, I just, um... What?

What?

You were married to A homecoming queen before,

And I am a lot of things, But I'm not that.

I will never be that.

And I just want to be... I want to be perfect for you.

Jane.

To me, right now,

From the first moment I saw you,

You are perfect.

You're just perfect.

Carm, hey.

What are you doing here? Why aren't you at the party?

Bok, bok, bucket!

Bok, bok, bucket!

Stop it.

Stop making fun of me.

[carmen] pay your dues, carmen. pay your dues.

At your service. Here you go.

And, um, carm, guess What rhymes with bucket?

Bok, bok, bucket!

[people laughing]

Bok, bok, bucket!

Bok!

Okay, carm, you won.

We played truth or dare At this slumber party.

You did the dare, So I gotta cluck, too.

Bok, bok, bucket!

Bok!

I think you should leave. Now.

Come on, poppy.

Let's blow This chicken stand.

I'm not in the mood For a pity party.

I'm sorry, carmen.

I'm really sorry.

I wasn't making fun Of your job, lily. I really wasn't.

I was just trying To make 'em laugh. You know?

And I did. They laughed their asses off.

Any room for me?

Always.

I was wrong to leave you At the mercy of brooke mcqueen And her posse, carmen.

I'm so sorry. It's okay.

I'm sorry, too. I acted like an idiot.

And you know, Brooke mcqueen turned out To be not so horrible.

She kind of came through In the end.

Great. So what are you saying? I'm wrong twice.

What?

Honey, what's wrong?

What happened?

I went home and...

I saw my mother And mike mcqueen

Doing it full on On the kitchen floor.

Oh, my god.

Oh, my god.

It's real between them, You guys.

It's just hard When you realize

That despite all The stupid pain you endure,

Sometimes even With all that work,

They still choose Somebody else.

Sam?

I feel really bad, sam.

Everybody gave me presents To make me look different

Or make me smell different.

But your poem Was the only thing

That was actually A tribute to who I am.

You're the one who Really came through for me.

Damn.

You know what really gets me?

All week, I have so Been craving birthday cake.

All week, And I missed it.

Not necessarily.

What are you doing?

I'm making you A birthday cake.

I stopped back By your place,

But you guys weren't there, So I grabbed those.

It's five to midnight.

Gotta blow out the candles Before your birthday is over.

You know what's so funny Is before this thing started,

All I wanted for my birthday Was to be with the two of you.

Make your wish, carm.

[both laugh]

Oh, gross.

Thanks.

♪ to bend and not to break ♪

♪ chin up, try not to quake ♪

♪ I'm grinning on the outside ♪

♪ but I'm a wreck internally ♪

♪ ooh, la la la la ♪

♪ ooh, la la la la ♪