Original subtitles

There you are, ducky.

And there you'll ready well stay until you've paid a month's board and lodging.

And you'll pay for that, too.

Please, Mr. Smell, I've got a job of work to do in Lagos. I'll pay you back.

Here, what are you up to in there?

If you're up to any of your tricks, I'll show you the level of this...

I've cut into the bone.

This is my end. This is... Look here, sir. We've searched every ship in the

harbor, and this is the last one. I still feel that calling out the soldiers

an error of judgment. If we catch you, you will wish that you had the old,

army. Let alone one squadron. How funny, man. This girl's an American.

May cause an international incident. A very serious one, too.

Here, Captain Finch.

Hello, smelly. What gives?

I'll trouble you if your passenger lives. Well, now, I'll tell you, there

no trouble at all.

Why ain't it no trouble at all?

Because there's only one name on it, that's why.

Michael Shane, is that all?

How many do you think we carry with only one cabin?

Sure, Doc Shane's going up the river to his rubber plantation.

Have you seen anything of a blonde?

Brother, where is she?

That's what I'm asking you.

Are you sure that there ain't been no blonde with a suitcase stowed away on

boat for the last couple of hours?

Listen, Smelly, if there was a blonde on board, would I be out here talking to

you? Now, you've got it easy.

You're behind that face.

But, brother, from the front, it's terrible.

Walter! It's a waste of time. It's an injustice.

That's what it is.

Oh, Mr.

Shine. Mr.

Shine. Have you seen a blonde girl with a dishonest character?

She's robbed me.

Too bad.

My stuff get aboard? You bet.

Yeah, too much chop. Quick, quick.

All at once. All at once.

And darn good chop, too.

Would you believe I taught that boy everything he knows about cooking?

Yes, I believe that.

Put it down.

Can't you push this tub along any faster?

Well, she's no spring chicken. Push her too hard and she'll bust her boiler.

Anxious to get home, Doc.

There, Mr. Shane.

Yes, I have another 200 acres to clear and plant and rubber by summer.

Beats me.

A young fellow like you burying himself in the African jungle.

Now, me, I'm just as well off with the Dane River and Kermala as I'd be in Gay

Paris. Better, maybe. Not so much competition.

Now, you. You could have your pick.

I was never trapped within a rush. I'm interested in rubber and money.

Five more years and I'll come out of this crawling steam bath with enough

in my pocket to last me the rest of my life.

Could I ask you a question?

Yeah, what about her? The wife's sister's been doctoring for years for

indigestion she has.

Her food sets on her stomach like it was a rock.

Now, what I'd like...

I'm a rubber planter. I'm interested in your sister -in -law's tires and a hot

water bottle, but not her stomach, understand?

I'm turning in.

How about a game of rummy, Mr. Shane? No.

You win.

Hey, what is this?

Listen, mister, lower your voice and be a little friendly. I can't show my face

in this boat. I haven't got a ticket. They'll put me off. That's no worry of

mine. Get out of here. Look, look.

Can't we just talk this over?

I didn't mean to hit you with the bag.

Out. Quick.

Honest, you won't even know I'm here. It won't kill you to let me bunk here.

I don't snore and I won't peep. What do you say?

I say no.

No. Well, just let me explain how I got in this spot. I had to get out of town.

That python who runs the hotel was going to hold my stuff, and I told him I'd

pay him back when I got to Lagos. Oh, so you're on your way to Lagos. Sure, I've

got a job waiting for me there.

Why, you're lying. Why don't you make it good?

Lying? Who's lying?

I have so got a job in Lagos. At the Etoile d 'Afrique Café. That's French

Star of Africa.

Well, I don't care where you're going. Do you get out of here, or do I call

Captain Finch?

Handsome, you wouldn't do that.

Hey, Finch.

Thanks, pal.

I always say a friend in need is a friend indeed.

All I hope is you're in a jam someday and you tell somebody the straight truth

hoping they'll help you out and they throw you to the wolves like you're

to me.

You calling me, Mr. Shane?

Say, I didn't just say something.

The little lady could have written with us. Shut up, I found her here. I never

saw her before in my life.

You're a stowaway. What are you going to do, slap me in irons? I could. It's the

law. Okay, make them size 12. All right, come on, sister.

Get her out.

Oh, perhaps I should take a deep breath and cool off, golden heart. I got my bag

up there.

Keep up those eye exercises, Captain Bly, and pretty soon you can throw away

your eyeglasses. Come on, sister.

I got four shillings for a real emergency.

And I can't leave anyone home on my back because I need my costumes for work.

But if you trust me for the passage, you'll get it back.

What do you say?

Why, sure. You're a cinch. Yes, Captain, on the boat.

Mine. Oh, gee, Captain, you're a prince.

But I don't want to put you out.

Don't worry, sister. You won't be putting me out. Right in here.

Thanks a million, Captain.

Good night.

Well, it's early yet.

Let's have a little drink.

Thanks. I never use it.

You're missing a lot of fun.

Yeah, so they tell me.

But I miss a lot of trouble, too.

You're all right, sister.

Now, we've got to get better acquainted.

Say, you just said I was a prince, didn't you?

Yeah, I guess I did.

Sounds like me.

Well, you're right.

I'm a prince of good fellas.

Come on, sit down.

I got a lot of funny stories to tell you.

I get it.

Somebody told me once there was an exception to every rule.

For about 40 seconds there, I thought you were it.

Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Let's talk this over in a friendly way. Stand

aside, buster. I got a right cross that's known from Zanzibar to the Gold

If I'm riled, I'm liable to use it.

Oh, hard to get, eh?

No, Captain.

Impossible.

That's okay with me.

And how do you want to be friends?

I've been across the Gulf before. This thing's too narrow. This isn't the Gulf

at all. No, honey, it ain't at all. This stuff's going upriver.

That's right. Oh, but I've got to get across the Gulf to Lagos. I've got a job

in Lagos. Yeah, you told me. You've got to put me ashore. I'll lose that job.

When's the first stop? Oh, about Tuesday. Better tell me.

Oh, that's just dandy.

Honey, did I ask you to stow away on my boat?

You and me both, Sonny.

Gumbo.

Sunny side up, huh?

That's how I like them.

Something wrong?

Look, how does a person go about getting something to eat in this tub?

For certain reasons, I can't eat with them, and I sure am hungry.

You don't know what I'm talking about, do you?

Me?

Missy, one chop. Oh, chop, steak, anything. I'll throw for an egg.

Can do.

This tub gets slower and dirty every time I ride it.

No bath water out of the towels all wet.

Who was in that bathroom last, Joe? Not me.

No, I should have known.

Any food ready or is that on strike two?

Right away.

Joe, chop. Quick, quick.

All at once. All at once.

Say, you know that blonde?

I turned her out.

Yeah, I'd like to hear us out of the story. Dollar.

Hey, just a minute. Just a minute. What's the big idea?

Missy, dollar give chop.

Missy, she give... This.

I'm still skipper of this ship, and I won't stand for it. Janet?

Don't do that again.

What kind of

act did you do, Miss Revere? A single, Maisie Revere. A little girl and a big

harp. You and an Irishman, huh?

Maybe that's what the act needed.

No. A harp. You know, those... Oh, I get it. You played the harp.

Yeah.

You bet.

Well, where did that go to?

You're sitting on it.

Huh?

Oh, that's wonderful, Miss Revere.

That's magic.

How did you learn to do that?

Oh, I used to work for a magician, Tenato the Great. He taught me that.

He taught me a lot.

He used to saw me in two.

For real?

No, buddy, just in fun.

I might have been with him yet, but one day I made up my mind there was no

future in being sawed in half.

Well, what do you do now?

Sing an act in fancy costume.

What's the matter?

Hold tight, Miss Revere.

Here she goes.

I told you to keep the pressure down.

Now see what you've done.

Better put your show, folks.

She's shipping water. For sure.

How long is it going to take to fix this thing? More than five days.

I'll stay aboard.

No, sir. I can't allow it. I'm staying.

Now she might sink under you. And the rules say I've got to land all

Get out cold.

I can't let you take the boys, Mr. Shane. I need every hand I got. I've

been strong for rowing since an experience I had once on a lake in

Come on, fetch yourself. Now, there's no two ways about it, Mr. Shane. You've

got to land.

And you, too.

Well, it's all right with me, brother. I was going the wrong way anyhow.

Tui! Vesey! Hiya! Come out there.

Now, that trail, it'll take you right to Doc McWade's hospital.

He'll fix you up while we're patching up the boat.

I'll camp here.

It's marsh, Mr. Shane.

Them crocodiles are hungry.

I thought from the start those logs didn't look right.

Look, I'll give you 50 bucks left to stay on board, right?

I can't do it, Mr. Shane. If anything was to happen to you, I'd lose my job.

Now, Doc McRae's got a nice place up there, plenty of room. Well, you know

I don't have to tell you about the medical station.

Here, you better get started before it gets real dark.

And don't ever offer anybody money like that.

In the presence of witnesses.

Hey!

Wait a minute. What happens to me? Can I come along?

Suit yourself.

Well, it's you or the crocodiles, and they got more teeth.

Hey!

Hey, where are we headed for, anyway?

Medical station of the Atkinson Rubber Company. What's the matter with this

medical station?

Nothing. Well, the way you tried to keep them going there, you think...

For the rest of this trip, will you do me a favor? What?

Shut up.

Is it all right with you?

Better stick close to me. You think you can bear it?

What happened to you?

Nothing. A fellow threw mud at me.

What's the idea of these?

They gave out about a mile back.

You can't walk through jungle on your bare feet. You'll be stung and cut to

ribbons. Thanks for the sympathy. I've been doing it for the last mile.

Lead on, Mr.

Stanley.

Give me that.

Get up. You just can't sit down and wait in the middle of a jungle.

Oh, no.

Well, I'm sorry to go against your orders, Daddy Longlegs, but I'm doing

This isn't Broadway and 42nd Street, you know.

No, really?

There are animals in these woods.

Wild animals.

Look, what's the percentage in scaring me to death?

I got a sample last night of how you act when somebody's in a jam.

Come on, get up.

How many times do I have to tell you I can't? I'm all washed up, that's all.

I'm going to carry you.

Here, take this lantern.

Well, I don't know.

Oh, stop arguing.

Put your arm around my neck.

Okay, mister, but remember, if anything comes of this, you start it.

the lantern so I can see.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Am I very heavy?

Heavy enough.

What was that?

A baboon drumming.

Now who'd give a baboon a drum?

Missionaries?

Well,

this is it.

Gee, thanks a million.

I guess if it hadn't been for you, some lion would have been finishing up the

blue plate special.

And you?

Dr. McQuaid.

Name, please?

Shane.

You, wait, please?

That's a funny routine.

Right in the middle of the jungle, you gotta have a calling card.

What's funny about it? This is wild country.

Uh -uh.

Warmed up for a while there, but now it looks like snow again.

What would it be if I apologized for living once and for all? Shut up.

Shane.

Well. Hello, McQuaid.

Hello.

I was on my way upriver.

The boiler blew up.

I've prized Jackass' face as it'll take several days to mend it.

Well, come in.

Thanks.

How do you do?

Hello.

See, I get the bags.

Jack. Joe.

Go to bed.

Go on. Go on. Go on.

All the modern conveniences.

Electric lights, hot and cold running monkeys.

Who is it, Jack?

It is Dr. Shane here, right here.

Shane, I don't think you've met my wife.

How do you do, Dr. Shane? Hello.

And this is Mrs. Shane?

There is no Mrs. Shane. Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm not.

My name's Revere.

I feel terrible barging in on you folks this way. Nonsense. We're glad to have

you. How do you do?

How do you do? Let me take your coat. You look as though you've had a

time. Oh, I'm getting your nice rug all muddy.

You didn't walk through the jungle.

Well, yes, until I couldn't move another step and Mr.

Doctor, he carried me. I'd like a bath if I can have one. Oh, of course.

Doc, I think we'll put Dr. Shane in the corner room. Miss Revere, you come with

me and I'll show you your room. Shane, I'll show you yours. Thanks, I can find

it.

Of course you can. How silly of me.

You know this house better than we do.

You were here for five years, weren't you? That's right.

Right in here.

Gee.

Is this ever a cute room. Thanks. I brought some of the furniture in the

out with me. All the way from America?

Oh, you're kidding. If you have everything you need, I'll be glad to

anything. Thanks, I got enough.

You know this part of the country well?

Here? No.

I've been in Cape Town for a year in Cairo before that.

Oh, then this is your first visit to Dr. Shane's plantation.

Dr. Shane's plantation?

Oh, I'm not going there.

He was on the boat, you see, and I was on the boat, too.

Oh, then you're not.

I thought perhaps you were old friends.

Listen, before we started that bunion derby, he'd only said two words to me,

both of them mean.

I see.

Now, maybe you can tell me something.

On the boat he was mister, here he's a doctor.

What's the lowdown? Is he a doctor or what?

Why, yes.

Dr. Shane was in charge of this post until two years ago.

Then he left, and my husband was put in charge.

The bath is next door. Be sure and tell me if you need anything.

Thanks. When you're finished, I'll have some supper for you.

I sure could use it.

Mr.

Doctor.

Then he left.

I give up. They got me.

Jacques is doing research, you know. He's over in the lab now.

He's there almost every night.

He hopes within a year to find a cure for sleeping sickness.

A year, huh?

Well, it would be quite a handy thing to have.

How long have you been here?

A year and a half.

I came out six months after Jacques got here. You must be about caught up in

your solitaire.

Well, I knew when I married the doctor I'd be alone a lot.

And, of course, in a strange country, something so entirely different than

anything I'm used to.

So much to see and to... Don't you think it's interesting, Dr. Shane?

Uh, what?

This country, Kumala, the jungle.

Oh, yeah, it's what with the rains and the driver ants and the mosquitoes and

the snakes and the titsy flies.

It's quite a lively spot.

Hey, wait a minute. There's a lot in how you look at a place.

I've even had fun in Philadelphia in good company.

Jacques' work is here.

I'd be happy anyplace with him. Sure, a grand home and married to somebody

you're crazy about.

That wouldn't be hard to take.

Missy, excuse, please.

Barney here, he bring fruit.

Barney? Oh, all right, see, I'll be right out.

And you, missy? Excuse me, please. This man brings fruit over from the village.

Good evening, Varney.

Tomorrow, no more mangoes.

Melons. Three -piece melon. Can do?

Shane, Dr. Torrey. Jumbo Rafiki, Varney.

Shane, Dr. Terry.

You come back.

Up you get, now, boy. Get up.

Come on.

Are they still playing Uncle Tom's Cabin? How are you, Varney?

So -so, Wawa.

So -so, Wawa.

Very bad?

What's the matter?

My son, who named for you Michael Shane Varney.

Yes, I remember.

He's sick.

You come. You make well.

Very sick?

Much sick.

Much. You come see.

No, I can't do that, Vaughn. I bring him here to the hospital. No can do. You

come, please.

It's a shame to want to leave.

All change.

So, so, Wawa.

Now, you come back.

Make well, Vaughn, my son.

Dr. McQuaid can't make him better, Vaughn. I can't.

Indeed, yes.

You come, please, please, please.

Well, I'll see what I can do.

You come soon, please?

We'll see.

Good evening,

Barney.

Do you know anything about his son?

No, no, I really don't, and I go over to the village quite often.

I'm trying to teach some of the boys and girls to speak English.

You mean like three -piece melon can do?

I know this pigeon English sounds pretty silly.

I suppose my trying to teach them is silly, too.

Excuse me.

I've talked to Vanaya a hundred times, and I've never been able to get so much

as a smile from him.

But when he saw Dr.

Shane... Did you see his face when he saw Dr. Shane?

Did you see the way he looked at him?

Yeah.

I don't miss much.

Oh, come in. Hi.

Hello, Pauly.

How'd you do, Dr. Shane?

Well, this hasn't changed much.

Antimony trioxide.

This what you're using? Yes.

I tried it.

Not just here.

I tried it on 500 natives, and I mocked it NG and went on to something else.

You should have remembered that, Pauly.

My job is just to make the test, Dr. Shane.

Yeah, just make it when I think about it.

Well, anyway, I did test him thoroughly. What happened to your notes?

I got them up at the plantation, holding a door open, I think.

Is there something you wanted?

Yeah.

Barney tells me he's sun sick. What's the matter with him?

Well, I don't know.

Barney hasn't told me anything about it. I brought him in for treatment.

Well, he says he can.

He seems scared.

He doesn't scare, he says.

Scared? Scared to bring the boy into the hospital?

Maybe the witch doctor's told him not to.

What about the witch doctor? Has he been giving you much trouble?

Well, no more than usual.

Farley, suppose you get a kid together tomorrow and go take a look at the

Make a blood test. If there are any trypanosomes in the blood, give him the

shots. Yes, Doctor.

Oh, you'll be going through the rubber field. Suppose you set up shop in the

company office and see that all the field hands get the shots.

Well, it will take some time.

Those men are in the field until sundown. I know. Stay several days if

necessary. Well, I think I'll turn in then.

Good night, Doctor.

Good night, Farley. Good night.

Good night.

You can't fool around with those witch doctors, McQuaid.

You've got to fight them all the time. Keep them down.

When we moved in here, we spoiled their racket.

They'd like nothing better than to run the white doctors out of here and be

kings again.

I know that.

Everybody who's ever worked here knows that.

Do you?

You're in this lab night and day, that's swell.

But when did you visit the village last?

I don't know the exact date.

Look, take a tip from someone who knows these witch doctors from way back.

If they get back into power, you're sunk. There's been no indication of

Spoiler is an indication.

Those guys are dynamite.

They'll start by scaring the people away from you. Sell them the idea that your

medicine's killing them.

The next thing you know, there'll be a mob at your gate yelling for blood. Oh,

it's not a matter of medical technique, fella. It's a question of your life and

your wife's life, too.

They'll crucify you head down.

Remember, up to a few years ago, these people ate their dead.

If the witches want to fight, they'll get it.

But I see no reason for panic because one native says that this child is ill.

Bismuth? Yes.

What's the matter?

Indigestion.

There's no justice.

I sold humanity short.

I'm no good, but I can digest rocks.

I sleep better than most babies and have far more amusing dreams.

And there you are.

Cramps in your stomach, pulse too rapid, tired all the time, blood count way

down. Did my wife tell you I'd been ill? No, she didn't have to tell me.

You see, I used to be a medical man myself.

You know, Shane, you're so definite about how this job should be done, it's

wonder to me you gave it up. It's no wonder to me.

I know why I gave it up.

Here I was in the jungle, sweating my heart out, just as you're doing for the

same stinking little salary.

And there were my bosses, sitting on their well -upholstered swivel chairs

in West Virginia.

I'd tell them I had to have certain equipment.

They'd think it over and decide I could do without it. Then they wanted results

in 15 minutes. I know all that.

But it happens that I'm not working here just for the Atkinson Rubber Company.

Oh, no?

I'm trying to stamp out sleeping sickness.

The company would be delighted. It carries off so many good, strong field

They're not only field hands. They're human beings.

I spent five years serving humanity.

Now I'm looking out for Michael Shane.

I didn't know you could measure its service to humanity five years and then

more. My last day here, I radioed the home office.

Over some 4 ,000 miles of land and water, I made Mr. J .W. Atkinson a

his job and said goodbye with a juicy Bronx cheer.

Now I'm not a doctor anymore.

I'm a rubber planter.

And I'm doing all right, thanks. And to the devil with your talent and your

training and the oath you took when you graduated.

You swore to heal the sick and preserve life.

You pledged yourself to medicine.

The devil with that, eh? You said it, boy. The devil with it.

Look, let's drop it, Shane. You're going to be here for several days. There's no

sense in our quarreling all the time.

Sure, let's bear with that ax.

No hard feelings. Past, present, or future, right?

Right.

I'd like to get on with it.

Here, hold it.

Laughing boy.

But it ain't my fault, Mr. Shane.

You better today.

I come down here expecting you to be finished, or at least nearly finished.

You said it would take four or five days. Now you say it'll take ten.

How was I to know more tubes that go when we try to get up steam?

We work day and night, Mr. Shane.

Flesh and blood can't only stand so much. If I come back here next week and

boiler's not patched, I'll patch it with a piece of your greasy hide.

You and who else?

There.

Where's everybody?

McQuaid, Dr.

Tuddy, he work.

Two missy go their room.

Is that you, John?

Oh, Dr. Shane, I thought it was John.

I just ordered a drink. Is that all right?

Of course.

Don't you want something to eat?

Let's see you make your sandwich.

No, thanks.

Just a drink.

Join me?

Well, I... Keep me company.

Not Cleo.

Mara.

I have some news for you. Good news, I hope.

We're going to be here another ten days.

Does that come under the heading of good news?

It certainly does. We've liked having you here a lot, you and Miss Revere.

You don't look very pleased, though. Have you been so bored these last two

No, I haven't been bored.

This is a very charming place now.

In my day, it was a barracks.

You've made it livable.

You have a lot of talent for being a hostess, making people feel welcome.

It's made me think of home.

Thanks, dear.

Say when.

Oh, I don't think it's quite late. You said you'd keep me company.

That ought to be about it.

Why did you come to Africa?

Because of Jock.

Because Jock's work is here.

A year and a half.

In six months, most women here look like an old saddle.

You looked just as you did the night you made your debut at a dinner dance at

the country club.

How did you know about my coming out party? I know a lot about you.

You're very romantic.

When you were 15, you fell in love with... Who was it? Sir Lancelot or

Hale? Well, as a matter of fact, it was Dick Helder in The Light That Failed.

Then there was a string of college boys.

Then there was Jacques.

You rather fancy yourself as a mind reader, don't you?

Doc was going to Africa to fight sleeping sickness.

None of the other girls in your crowd had a romance like that, did they?

They're having lots of fun laughing at me. Oh.

I had some very romantic ideas once myself.

About medicine, among other things.

Not anymore?

Not anymore.

Reality licked me.

How's reality treating you?

How do you mean?

Ever get lonely?

Yes, I do.

It's awfully small to me to let the climate get me down so, mind being

Jacques's so busy, he's at the lab all day, every night.

When the rainy season starts, I can't even go riding.

Read every book on the shelves, and I've completely run out of crossword

puzzles.

I like to think that I'm self -sufficient, but it's been wonderful

houseguests.

Something to keep me busy, somebody to talk to.

I know.

You mean you get lonely sometimes?

I don't believe it.

Compared to my place, this is Paris.

I'm way up country.

I got my place cheap because no other white man would work it.

Well, I'm working it, and I'll keep on working it till I make a lot of money.

There are plenty of times when I think the money's costing me too much. Are

there any other white people at all?

No. About once a year, if I'm lucky, I get down to Kamala.

This last trip, it was 13 months since I've seen a white woman.

It's been five years since I've seen a woman from home.

Doesn't South Brooklyn count?

Excuse me, can I get some more water? Oh, do fill it. There's a pitcher of

drinking water here. I think it's cold enough.

I was just going to bed. When Dr. Shane came in, I thought it was dark, so I...

Well, good night, Miss Revere. I do hope you'll sleep well. Thank you. Good

night, Dr. Shane.

Good night.

Good night.

Oh, so wah -wah, Dr.

Shane. That's pigeon English for very bad.

What's the matter? They cut the water off in your bathroom?

I wouldn't know. I didn't look.

I heard you and Mrs. McWade talking in here.

And?

I thought maybe you were playing checkers.

Say, you pretty near had me crying hearing how lonely you are.

Poor, big, lonesome boy.

Little girls who listen to that keyhole don't go to heaven.

I know, but sometimes they get a chance to help someone they like, and I like

that Mrs. McQuaid.

She's a swell girl and he's a grand felon. It's a wonderful marriage.

You're sure taking advantage of their hospitality.

Plenty advantage.

Why don't you pick on someone your own size?

Mrs. McQuaid didn't seem to object to anything I said. No, I'm objecting for

her. She's the half crazy with being homesick and lonesome. She'd go for that

lonely act of yours.

What? Why don't you just join one of those lonely hearts clubs?

You know, you can write to other lonely people all over the world.

Pen pals, they call them.

You can't do near so much harm by mail.

You don't like me, do you?

No.

Well, have a drink.

Maybe that'll make you feel better about me.

Maybe you can get to like me. Maybe I could.

The first time I ate an oyster, I thought nature had made a terrible

but I got to like oysters, so who can tell?

Good night. Wait a second.

What's the hurry?

Sit down and be sociable.

Well, this certainly is your night to howl. Well, we're stuck here for ten

more. We may as well be friendly.

Don't you ever play checkers, Maisie?

Only for keeps.

Look, Doctor, shame would you mind letting me by?

It's too late and I'm too tired to run around the table.

Besides, let's face it.

We're not the type.

Those men didn't seem to want to take the treatment.

Well, what's going on here?

Where's everybody?

What are the drums for?

Drums bad.

By Asana. By Asana. Let's see Asana.

What's wrong, Barney? Sir.

Sir. Witch doctors say death from one eye.

Not good.

You had a lot of work to do over there. What's eating, you say?

So -so, wah -wah.

Gee, he certainly feels terrible today. I wonder if he's in love or something.

Could you stand up and let me measure this on you?

The two years I've been working on this, I've been wondering who to give it to.

It'll fit you fine.

It's got plenty to give to it. Well, it's grand of you to give it to me. I

it represents a lot of work.

Say, listen, I only wish it was a lot more.

You and Mrs. McWade have been swell to me.

We've liked having you here, Miss Revere.

Call me Maisie, huh?

Thanks, I will.

And you call us Jock and Kay.

Well, I'm more the type you call by their first name.

Wait a second. I want to see where the sleep should start.

I wish Kay and Dr. Shane hadn't gone riding.

Well, I was wondering how long you were going to put up with that.

Put up with what, Maisie? And I know you didn't like it. that chain to start

with.

Oh.

No, no, Maisie. Our fight is professional.

Yeah, but still in all, does he have to be taking Mrs. McWade to look for

orchids or to see some view all the time?

Oh, hold on, Maisie. I'm delighted she's found some congenial company. You've

got this all wrong. Oh, have I?

And why'd you wish she hadn't gone riding?

Because it's going to rain.

Take a look at that barometer.

Well, somebody's lying. Take a look at that sky.

That blue sky doesn't mean anything. It'll rain before night.

Storms here come up out of nowhere and disappear just as quickly.

Gee, you're swell.

What called forth that pat on the back?

Hey, what's the matter?

Oh, just my trick stomach.

That one was a Lulu.

Don't say anything to Kay about this, will you? She doesn't know that I get

this. Well, if I was your wife, I'd want to know. Oh, it's nothing. That's what

my Uncle Tim used to say when he'd get one of his spells.

Mama was after him and after him to go to a doctor and then... Well, wishing

won't bring him back.

Whoa, don't bury me, Maisie. I'm not dead yet.

Can I get you anything?

Just some ice water. I'm fine now. All right, you sit here and relax.

See ya.

Get some water.

One piece ice water, all at once.

When people ride around here, which way do they go?

To the river.

The death sign. Oh, the superstitious fools.

Zia!

Oh.

Oh, what's the matter? Is that pain again?

It's bad, Maisie. I've been kidding myself. It's my appendix. Oh.

I've got to get inside.

Lie flat.

Zia, help!

Hide out! Hide out!

Zia, wait!

You can't lie down in the dirt!

Oh, you dirty, filthy cowards! Come back here and I'll lick the water, you!

Oh. Oh.

Come along, we'll manage.

You put your arm around my neck.

You're doing fine.

Look,

go to the kitchen.

Get all the ice in the refrigerator.

I gotta be packed in ice so this won't burst.

You bet.

Give us a stand, Michael. One of the boys will be along in a minute.

Doc!

What's the matter?

Appendix. Oh, Doc.

Are you in terrible pain?

Oh.

You've got it good.

You should be packed in ice.

Maze is getting it. Don't go.

Hurry up with that ice.

Oh, the Marines have landed just in time to give a lot of chief orders.

We'll pack him in ice and get him on a horse. Got to get him to Kamala. Kamala?

That thing's liable to burst.

What do you want to do, put him on horseback so he can die in style?

You got to operate. I'm not practicing medicine.

Have you stopped practicing to be a man?

Bring the rest of that ice.

Set it.

I'm going to take that out, McQuaid.

I know you don't like me, but my worst enemy will tell you I'm handy with a

knife.

Zia can help me. He's gone.

Gone? Sure, they all run out. The four of them. They found the death sign on

gate. You can't operate alone.

If only Farley would get back.

I have a feeling Folly won't be back.

That death sign means witch doctors.

Things are happening fast around here.

There.

Come out here, Kay. I want to talk to you.

That eye will help, and he'll fix you up fine.

Kay, you'll have to help me.

Ever assist a jock at an operation?

No, I haven't.

Well, you'll be all right. I'll show you what to do.

Michael, I can't.

I can't stand the sight of blood. I tried to watch once when Jock was

cut. I got all weak and sick.

I can't do it.

No, you can't do it.

No, it'd be no good. It might hurt Jock.

That's right, it might.

Maisie.

Maisie. You'll have to pitch it in and help me. Give him chloroform when he

needs it and hand me what I need. Kay can't do it. She can't stand blood.

wait a minute. I don't know as I can.

I've always been able to do just what had to be done, but seeing someone cut

open... Gee.

Come on, you'll be all right.

I'll anesthetize him. I don't know what that means.

I'll give him the chloroform. Put him under before we start.

You carry on from there.

I do?

Now, here's what you do.

You hold this cone over his nose and mouth.

Then you pour the chloroform so as it drips onto the cone.

Sixteen drops a minute.

Okay. While I'm working over here, you'll have to hand me what I need. I

be reaching for things.

And don't touch anything with your hands. Use these sterile faucets.

Okay. Don't watch what I'm doing.

Keep your eyes on this table.

These are scalpels.

One for the incision, a clean one to the side of the appendix. Couldn't you call

them knives? I'm liable to be pretty excited.

All right.

These are sponges.

I'll ask for more of these than anything.

Knives, sponges.

This is a hemostat.

I don't think I can learn all this. Yes, you can. Hemostat, hemostat.

Hemostat. This is a tie.

Tie.

Um, knife, sponge, hemostat, tie. Only two more.

Oh.

This rubber tube is a drain.

This thread is a suture.

Drain, suture. Now.

Knife, sponge, hemostat, tie.

Drain, suture. Good.

Now I'll... Bring him in and wash up.

When I've been to the solutions again, you'll have to pour alcohol over my

and help me on with my gown and gloves.

Right?

Maisie, he's very sick.

But if you help me, I can pull him through. Can you do it?

Yes, Doctor, I can do it.

Good girl.

Hematap. Cleaned scalpel.

Got it.

Sponge.

Get up there and give him chloroform.

Okay. Hurry.

I am.

Ten drops.

One, two, three, four, five. Gee, I had not to be doing this. I don't know

enough. Shut up. You're doing swell.

Eight, nine, ten.

Gee, I feel kind of... Back here.

Suture. Oh, speak English.

The thread, you fool, the thread.

Well, that's that.

You mean it's finished?

Finished.

Will he live?

He'll be all right.

Oh, gee!

What hit me?

You passed out colder than a mackerel.

Well, can you imagine?

Say, how did this happen?

I carried you in.

Oh, I didn't get in your way, did I? Just when you were doing something for

No, you didn't get in my way.

You certainly come through in a pinch.

Well, you're not so bad yourself when you press the button marked doctor and

turn off that other thing.

What other thing? You name it.

You as well.

Well, you better lie still for a while.

I'll have a look at patient number one.

I'll be back.

Come on, Maisie, grow up. He's bad news.

Come in.

Oh, Maisie, you were wonderful.

You feeling all right now?

Oh, sure, I'm fine.

I should have been able to stand by, Jock.

Well, I'll tell you.

On the block where I was raised, we got kind of used to blood.

I mean, like on Saturday nights, there was always three or four black eyes and

maybe a lip cut open. And my pa was no exception.

I guess where you were raised, you didn't see much of that.

No, not much.

I hope Michael didn't think too badly of me.

I wanted to help, I just couldn't, that's all.

Oh, don't go blaming yourself. That's how it is.

Some women can do things and others can't.

And it takes a certain kind of woman to handle a certain kind of man.

What do you mean?

You and Dr. Shane?

Maisie, I'm very grateful to you for what you did today, but I honestly don't

think it gives you the right to discuss something you know nothing about.

Something that's not your business. Look, I'm doing it to be friendly. I

you an awful lot.

I hate to see you go off the rails like you're doing. I know what I'm doing.

I know what's right for me. I don't need advice.

Go on, you do too.

Mrs. McWade is like he said that first night. I heard because I was listening

the door. You had no right to do that. I know, but I did.

And you're all mixed up.

Living out here turned out to be hotter and lonelier than you dreamed about. You

couldn't take it anymore.

And right then, along comes our pal Shane.

He's big and good -looking, and he gets you off balance by being mean and swell

by turns.

Your husband has no use for him, and that makes him plenty romantic.

So you pin all your dreams on him.

You say to yourself, here's the answer.

He is love.

Yes.

You're very shrewd, Maisie.

I know this is the answer.

I am in love with Michael.

As soon as Jacques gets better, I'm going to tell him honestly.

You'll understand.

You want me to be happy.

Jacques is the kindest, most understanding man in the world.

Gee, from where I sit, that sounds like a swell husband.

What do you want, for heaven's sake?

Love.

I realize now I've never been in love before.

Only with Dr. Shane, huh? Yes.

And I know he loves me too, although he's never touched me, never even kissed

me.

That's because he realizes I have a problem with Jock.

He knows how I feel.

And he knows he'll get what he wants by Monday anyway.

That's a horrible thing to say.

It would be a horrible thing for you to do.

Because I'm telling you, he's the last guy in the world for you. You know

nothing about either of us. Oh, yes, I do.

Maybe I never met many people like you, but I've seen plenty like him.

Oh, he's a deluxe model.

Streamline chassis, white wall tires, fog lights and two horns, but it's the

same old car. I know him all right. Oh, no, you don't. Well, I ought to.

I've been thinking about him ever since I saw him with no time out except to

sleep, and then I dream about him. You're jealous.

You're talking against Michael because you want him for yourself. Listen, I

wouldn't take him if I won him at bingo.

I'm crazy about him.

I think maybe after today I might be able to get him, but no thanks.

I've had my share of one -night stands. I'm looking for a term contract.

You think Michael isn't the marrying kind, is that it?

You think if it were you he loved, he wouldn't marry you? Me or anyone.

Listen, I want to marry and have a home and kids for a guy who'd love me even if

I had a cold in my head.

That's the way Michael and I feel about each other. We'll make a home together.

No, for you that's Dr.

McWade. No, Maggie. Oh, can't you see what kind of a deal you'd get from that

Shane? You'd have a great six months, and when I say six months, I'm allowing

for shrinkage. Three's nearer.

Then one day he'd look at you like you were someone he met in the subway.

Oh, Maisie, you're impossible. That could never happen to us. Michael will

leave me. No, he wouldn't leave you. He'd make you leave him with scars on

that would never heal up.

You'd be crying for Jock then, but he'd be married most likely to some girl who

knew when she was in love.

Oh, listen, Mrs. McWade, you couldn't take that. You're not tough enough.

You're going to ruin your whole life.

The only kind of guy for you is what you got, a gentleman.

Then why have I been so unhappy with him? Tell me that.

Why have I felt for a whole year that I haven't been living at all? Because you

shouldn't be living in a house. Africa, dog. You can't take this place. You're

scared of it. It's got you licked, but you won't let on.

Where does pride get you except in a jam?

Listen, why don't you go to him and say, take me home? You belong back in

Montclair, the both of you. No, me. Oh, sure, a pretty house, your friends, him

doctor, and you with maybe some kids to raise.

Oh, gee, I'd give my right arm to make you see there's nothing wrong between

and Dr. McWade that going home wouldn't cure.

Hey, Maisie, come out here, quick.

Michael, what's the matter?

We're going to have visitors.

Gee, I never saw such a place. Never a dull moment.

Close all the doors and shutters. What are they going to do?

Kill us if they can.

Maybe they can.

Get those shutters closed.

We'll see. Michael, you're not going out there. Hey, go in the jar.

Lazy, bolt the door behind. Okay. This is ready if you need it.

And don't come outside either, if you understand.

All right, if you want Ian, you'll do something. I'll be right here.

Bolt it. I told you to bolt. Okay.

You'd better go in the truck like you said. He needs you. Yeah.

You'll kill Farley.

When

you

were sick, I made you better.

McQuaid, Doctor, I made you better.

Where are your friends? Rafiki.

These witch doctors are bad.

You want to go with Commissioner Watanabe?

The Society of American Magicians. Figure it out for yourself.

I figured out one thing.

Have you?

Hey, wait a minute.

Come in.

Hey! Oh, gee, I'm sorry.

Here.

I've got to get rid of this thing. Pull.

Go on, pull.

There.

Now you know.

Only tonight...

Well, you did it well enough for me.

Say you love me and mean it.

I love you and I mean it.

All right, mister, break it up.

Break it up? Nothing.

I must have been crazy. I always thought when I found you, I'd know you right

away. And, hey, you've been right under my nose all the time.

What are you going to do about Mrs. McWade?

She thinks you're in love with her, and I bet she has quite a lot to go on, too.

Well, I did throw a couple of compliments her way. I found her very

someone from home.

But I never gave her any reason to think I was in love with her.

Oh, there's nothing to that.

So much nothing, she's going to break with Dr.

McWade. Break with McWade? Yeah, what are you going to do about that?

Are you going to talk to her?

Certainly I'll talk to her. I'll straighten that out quick.

I see that you do.

Wait. I've got a lot to say to you. Look, I've got to change my clothes.

Honestly, I'm cold.

This is important.

So is pneumonia.

Come on. I'm going to go.

All right.

But make it quick.

He's bad news. He's bad news.

Don't give up the ship.

Maisie?

Yeah? Where's Dr. Shane?

He's... What, me?

Doc wants to talk to you.

I'd like to have you both there.

Yeah, sure.

Shane, I want to thank you for a swell job.

You've got a good constitution.

Now that you're rid of that trick appendix, you'll be all right.

It's pretty hard to say thanks for saving my life twice.

Because you did.

Once on the table and out there, you and Maisie saved all of us. Ah, listen,

you've done a lot for me.

I never could see much excuse from you being alive except for laughs.

But from now on, I'll feel I got a share in you, so to speak.

When your picture's in the paper for cure and sleep and sickness, I can say I

shot the chloroform to him when he needed it.

Shane?

Kay and I are going home as soon as I can move around.

Kay told me just now she can't be happy here. Well, I should have sensed it long

ago. She doesn't belong here, and neither do I.

I had a lot of bullheaded pride. I wouldn't admit the job was too tough for

It takes somebody that can out -bluff the witch doctors and keep the people in

line as well as doing the research.

The job will be open. What about it, Shane? Oh, me?

Oh, no.

Let him send someone out from home, some clean -limbed lad with ideals.

I had this job for five years. I know all about it, and I don't like it.

Don't give me that.

I saw you carving up Dr.

McWade. You were in seventh heaven. You had a gleam in your eye. And out there

with those fuzzy -wuzzy say, don't kid me, as scared as you were, you were

having the time of your life.

The reason you don't like yourself is because you run out on the one job

crazy about. That's why you go around barking at people. You're bored to death

with those rubber plants.

Look at you.

After all you've been through today, you look ten years younger.

She's got you there.

She's right.

How about it, Dr. Shane?

Yes, I guess so.

I guess this is where I belong, all right.

Just about fill a bill.

Part doctor, part faker, and the rest out and out son of a gun.

Yeah, I'll take the job.

The good, kind rubber company will take me back. I'm delighted.

Well, don't give me credit for being too good.

Right now, I'm figuring out a way to organize that rubber plantation so as I

make some dough on the side.

Well, I think we'd better let Dr. McWade get some rest and clear out of here.

Maisie.

I want to thank you.

I owe you a lot.

Oh, honey.

I'm just glad everything worked out all right.

Well, that worked out fine.

I didn't have to talk to her after all.

She must have sensed it.

You women seem to feel things like that in the air.

Yeah? Well, see if you can feel this in the air.

What the... What was that for? That's for being like you are.

Meaning what? Meaning I don't want what you've got to offer.

And I hate you for making me so dizzy about you. I pretty near forgot I don't

want it.

Why, you crazy little screwball. I love you and you love me. Oh, sure, sure.

That's great for now, but I've got to think of my future.

It'll be the most wonderful few months any two people ever had, but that's not

for me, see?

I want to...

I told you I only play for Keith, and that's true.

Oh, get out of my way. Oh, you're just a little fool. You don't know what you're

talking about. I do so. I want a home and husband and kids. Well, you've got

them. Get that through your silly yellow head. You've got them.

At least you've got a husband and a home.

As for that other thing, well...