Original subtitles

. .

Okay, Napoleon!

Roamers, countrymen, lend me your chairs.

Oh, such rapturous greeting warms the chilled heart of your noble king.

I'll take the queen.

You would?

Now, Harky, while I give to you the privileges of the season, there shall be

amusement tax on Nicky.

I'm glad to see you, you old son of a gun, you. Oh, boy, it's good to see you.

Well, you're some tonic for the old eyes yourself.

Oh, how I missed you this summer. How long have you been here? Oh, I've just

been here a little while.

Oh, boy, any good necking in sight for this year? And why should this year be

different?

Hey, Frank, pop that trunk. Yes.

Hey,

Eddie, what did you do all summer?

I've been selling anchors. For boats? No, dumbbells for floating kidneys.

Golly, it's the same old room.

Just as clean as a garage sink. Yes, but it's home sweet home to us. You betcha.

Hey, you hillbilly. What's the matter? Those dirty shoes.

Dirty shoes?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Comrade, comrade. Oh, boy.

When did you get the swell rag?

Do you like it? Gee, that's a wow.

Well, it's yours, Biff.

Oh, no, Eddie. You keep it. No, go on. I want you to have it.

Why, I bought it for you. Oh, no, you didn't. Sure. Did you, Eddie?

Sure.

Gee, thanks.

I thought it would look swell with those big banjo eyes.

Yeah.

And thanks very much for the present.

You know, I think you're sucking harder this year, Biff. Yeah, I think so.

Well, I hope you suck the line as hard.

Well, if I do...

I guess another strike this year.

Yep, third and last one, huh?

Gee, that's right.

Only one more year.

Gee, Biff, we've been roommates and teammates for three whole years.

Three great years, old kid.

You know, it kind of sucks the old heart when you realize that a year from now

this will all be just a memory.

There's something I've wanted to tell you a hundred times, but every time I

tried, why, the word sort of stuck.

But I want you to know that our friendship has been the finest thing in

Oh, don't say has been, Biff. This is always going to be until one of us kicks

the last goal. Yes, and when he does, the other one will be right there

up the line, won't he? You betcha.

Biff, you remember that first time we tangled?

Almost split us up, didn't it? When?

You know, freshman year. That time I grabbed your blonde.

You grabbed what blonde?

Now, don't stall.

You remember... Well, you're as screwy as a kite. You couldn't take a femme

me, blonde brunette, red, gray, or bald.

I not only take them from you, but I find you every honey you get.

Why, if it weren't for me, you'd be playing the old lady's home. Yeah?

And not doing so well, either.

Yeah? Well, you look at this layout. Now show me one you ever gave me. Show me

your lop -eared cheek.

What in that miserable collection of crocks?

Baloney. I'll show you some real honey.

Hey, where's my trunk?

Where the heck's that trunk? Yes, sir, coming, sir. Yes, sir, coming, sir.

Well, are you taking it on a sightseeing trip?

By the time you get up here, all my clothes will be out of style.

But, sir... Shut up. To trunk or not to trunk, that is the question.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Make way for a senior.

Out of my way, freshman, out of my way.

You birds ought to be trained to carry trunks in your teeth and fly upstairs.

Hey, freshman, where's my trunk?

Yes, sir. Coming, sir. Yes, sir.

Hey, do you birds want to come up here perpendicular or horizontal?

Now snap into it. Yes, sir. Coming, sir. Yes, sir. Coming, sir.

May an upperclassman pass?

I said may an upperclassman pass?

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Well, then snap it up.

Move along.

Say, that's Eddie Strunk.

You both better quit playing around and get that upstairs.

Where the heck's Mike Strunk?

Yes, sir, coming, sir. Yes, sir, coming.

Come in, sir.

Come in, sir.

My, what a peculiar form of exercise.

Yes, sir.

Say... What?

Hey, it's no use trying to hide.

Come out of there. Come on, you freshman.

Yes, sir.

Now listen, you birds have had it pretty soft today.

But from now on, I want to give you freshmen a little advice for your own

Keep up on your toes this time.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Park it over there.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Well, Biff, here we are starting out the year with the same

old trouble with these microbes.

Hey, up on your feet. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. You freshmen remember that you are

the scum of humanity.

Sit down again in a senior's room and we will absolutely guarantee to give you

that schoolgirl complexion you have heard so much about, only not in the

place.

Now beat it.

Yes, sir.

Sir, hey.

Freshman, hold everything. Wait a minute.

What is it, sir?

What is it, sir? No freshman has ever left this room alive without kissing the

royal shoe.

Why, what shoe, sir? What shoe, sir? What shoe, sir?

What shoe, sir?

This is Eddie's shoe of worldwide fame, the shoe that kicked the goal that won

the Stanford game. Now kiss it and make it big. Yes, sir.

Oh, more passion, more passion. I'm betting on half price.

Let's hear it. Let's make it big.

What's the idea?

My one idea, sir.

What idea, sir? Having kissed the royal shoe with some clumsy efforts, what's

the idea of hanging around?

Phone, phone. That must be for me.

Why, oh, why?

Hey, Princess.

Hi, guys.

I got it.

Chi Sigma House, hello.

Who's more?

Who? Percy. Tall red -headed guy?

Day?

Such popularity.

Must be deserved.

Oh, yes, it is a lovely day.

Who?

Will you describe him, please?

Oh,

yes, I know who you mean.

Yes, I admit he has that schoolgirl complex.

Well, won't I do? You know, I'm considered pretty good looking myself.

Yeah, behind your ears you are.

Oh, well,

all right. If no one else will do, I'll get him.

Hey, handsome.

Do your stuff.

I might have known.

Thank you.

What women want, that's me. Yeah, ask her if her daughter's got a date for

tonight.

Listen, if you boys are going to act like this, I'll tell my girls not to

me up here anymore.

Oh, yeah?

And,

uh, by the way, this is a private conversation. Oh, yeah?

Oh, well, all right, all right. Since I'm going to speak English, none of you

will understand a word of it anyhow.

Hello,

sweetheart. Speaking is Moe Levine.

Pressing and cleaning.

Oh.

From last year, I got a tailor bill from you. I'm sorry, but I'm all dated up

for tonight.

Sweetheart, I don't be fresher.

By me, tailoring is a business.

Well, all right, I'll tell you. Now, since you're so nice, I'll tell you what

I'll do.

Yes? Well?

I'll, um...

I'll put your name on my waiting list, Birdie. Oh, boy, gee, I ain't. All

now, don't do anything until you hear from me.

Goodbye. Oh, don't hang up, kid. Don't hang up.

Let's get this.

January 15th.

Birdie. Oh, Birdie.

Birdie. Well, well, what is this strange power I have over women?

Maybe it's the way you have defense, Fred.

I'll break that record.

Can you give me Helen Gleeson's telephone number?

Oxford 6254.

Well, Debbie, it looks as if the girls are starting in early this year to avoid

the rush.

Ooh, pretty.

What is that, the Society for Lifted Faces?

Listen, kid, I'll show you some real honey.

Say, Eddie, the team's got a tough schedule this year. Yeah, we sure have.

I've decided we're going to cut out the women until after the football season's

over. You?

Hey, are you serious? I certainly am.

All of them?

Yep.

Oh, not all of them. Every one of them. Ah, you're crazy. No, I mean it.

Remember, this is our last year of football.

Say, that's right.

I hadn't thought about that.

Last year of football.

We got a whole lifetime of women. And how.

All right, boy, I'm with you. I'm off until after the big game.

That's great.

Yes, sir, that's a good idea.

I knew you'd feel that way about it. You say no more women. You mean no more

women. Am I right?

Hey, Eddie.

Hey.

I beg your pardon, were you looking for me?

No, why?

Well, most of the new girls are.

Oh, are you the dean?

No, not exactly, but I know everything the dean does and a whole lot he'd like

to know.

Then perhaps you can direct me to the English building.

Which one?

Are there two?

Oh, yes, there's that one that was cracked in the last earthquake.

Oh, really? Hmm, that's the broken English building.

I suppose that's where you've been studying.

I guess I want the other one. Well, now, let me see.

No road map, no compass.

Wait a minute. I've got an idea.

Yes, I think I'll have time, too. I can personally escort you. Oh, no.

Just direct me, please.

Now, honey, when they're your size, I never direct them. I lead them. You

couldn't find this place. It's two blocks over, three blocks around. Knit

purl two.

I want a lucky girl you want.

You never could have found this place all by yourself.

Now, just a minute. You see, I have to make a little report of this to the

Campus Welfare Society.

What do you think your name is?

I really didn't say. Oh, you'll have to tell me. I'll get in trouble with the

society.

Hello, Bass Baxter.

Oh, thanks.

I can't pronounce Baxter, so I'll just call you Bass.

And, uh, could you address, please?

Oh, the Phi Phi House.

Well, uh, I'll be around tonight about 8.

Am I supposed to burst out cheering?

Not till after the first treatment.

Oh, I can hardly wait.

Don't be impatient.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

Oh, uh, pardon me.

Can you do best into the campus candy store?

Huh?

Can you direct me to the campus candy store?

You don't mean to tell me that an unprotected girl like yourself is going

seen going to the campus candy store in broad daylight.

No, I'm not. Is it so terrible?

Terrible? Why, I alone have dragged from that opiate -reaching atmosphere the

bodies of innocent young girls, their sallow complexions, mute testimonies of

the lives they have led, sinful slaves to the chocolate box, shameful addicts

the bonbons.

You read that in a book someplace. Yeah, but it's pretty good, isn't it? Uh

-huh. When I tell you what I can do, I can brave the terrorists to a campus

candy store and bring you the candy myself.

Oh, I would never forgive myself if anything happened to me. Oh, have no

Tonight, at the stroke of eight, I will arrive at... Five High House.

And will there be welcome on the mat outside?

Mm -hmm.

And inside, too.

Gee,

this is my lucky day.

Mine, too.

Well, uh... Goodbye.

Goodbye. I'll, uh... I'll be seeing you tonight, then. Sure, and every night.

Well... Goodbye.

Goodbye.

College days, college days, days we all remember.

We won't feel blue to leave in June, but we'll march back in September.

College days, college days, complexions nice and ruddy.

College days, college ways, good times with your buddies.

Some darn fool.

come to these schools to waste their time at study.

Harvard, Yale, and O 'Cornell, Princeton, Stanford, what's that?

We get our field that pays the bill for dear old college days.

College days, college days, to make things nice and runny.

College days, college days, good times with your buddies.

Come to the school and waste their time and study.

We love our teachers dear and such. We love our mothers very much. But dads,

kin, we love to touch for dear old college days.

College days, college days.

Confliction's nice and runny.

College days. Oh, stop. Listen, something has happened.

Fellas, did I meet a honey today.

But listen, listen, she's got that hair like spun gold, that skin you'd love to

touch, and them eyes.

Hey, Eddie, you gonna get married?

And how, and when, and where?

Eddie has met the only girl again. Well, well, well. I'm going to see the girl

and have her eyes examined.

I guess I wish you could see this one, Bessie. Not me, baby. I'm not

Boy, you ought to see the honey I met today. No kidding, fellas. I met the one

girl of my dreams.

What word you made her, down the morgue? Oh,

boy, this girl beggars description. When they made her, they made all there is.

She isn't exactly blonde. She has no hair like a sun gold.

And the skin you love too tough. And them eyes.

Say, the old love bug has got you bad. Bad? Bad?

Why, I can't think, I can't sleep in class, and I can't eat.

Now, I want... A cracker! I want a cracker! I want a

cracker! Now, that's a nice way to treat a co -ed.

Boy,

when she was a co -ed, Wrigley had only one gum.

Kill that guy who's been reading college humor.

Bring on those blank steaks.

And I'll have a little bit of that gravy.

Yes, and a couple of those eggs.

And some of that coffee.

Do you like pastness?

How am I going to meet this new girl here? You're not going to meet her.

Well, that'll be the first time we haven't divvied our women.

You've never met this kind of a girl. What do you mean, this kind of a girl?

she's got a neck, it was put there to hang on to, wasn't it?

Hey, don't wisecrack. Oh, you're going to get a high hat with me over a girl,

huh? Yes, I am.

I think you've landed a little exclusive necking. She isn't that kind of a girl.

Oh, don't make me laugh. Wait till I put the works on her. Now, listen, you

start any of your stuff with her. And what do you do? I'll knock your block

Hey, cool off, you two.

Open your feet, everybody.

Piano punch.

Let's go until the end.

Have your go.

A clean shirt. Oh, a clean shirt. Where?

There.

Oh, thank you.

What's the matter with you? Quit your yelping, Biffy. Polka dots are

this year. Hadn't landed on the tail of this shirt, I'd have polka dotted his

chin. I want a sock. Send in your chin. We'll accommodate you. Oh, dirt.

Watch that.

Ah, Deacon, have some tobacco.

Thanks. Hope you brought your own matches this year. If he did, he

them. Well, if that's the way you're going to feel about it, I won't use your

tobacco anymore.

After this year.

I'm afraid we've hurt his feelings. I hope so.

Well, big boy.

Wish me luck.

Little Eddie is about to set out upon feminine conquest.

And is she good? Oh, wait a second, Eddie. I'll amble down the road with

Well, all right, but make it snappy. This girl of mine is the impatient kind,

and I hate to deny her even a split second. Okay, let's go.

Hey, who swiped my candy?

What candy? I had some candy over there.

Hey, Frosh!

Frosh! Coming, sir!

Coming, sir!

Who swiped that candy?

What a disgrace.

Disgusting.

And heaven help the buzzard who stole that box of candy.

Give me, give me, give me. Give you what?

Give me your lips.

Give me your arms.

Sit around me just like a glove.

I don't want your kisses if I...

Have your love.

Baby.

Don't make me laugh.

I don't want half.

Baby, you know what I'm thinking of.

I don't want your kisses if I can't have your love.

Your love.

Now play your part.

You're loving always.

fingers. And baby, this is the end.

I'll still be your friend.

Tell the world and all the stars above.

I don't want your kisses if I don't have your love.

I don't want your kisses if I can't have your love.

Your love, your love, your love.

That's a great song. I'd like to hear somebody sing it.

All right.

I'll take my bow now.

That's right.

Keep your hat.

You won't be here long.

Oh, are we going for a ride?

That's a good idea. Why don't you?

Oh, well, then that's subtle.

Here, have some grapefruit.

You better take that candy back.

Oh, I can't. It's too late now.

Why? Where did you get it?

I, uh, picked it up from a friend of mine.

Well, that's one friend of yours I'll have to meet. Oh, no, you won't.

Oh, um, pardon me. I think that's for me. Oh, are you expecting somebody else?

Well, um, I am, rather.

Fine. You bring him in, and I'll throw him out.

Hello.

Well, I looked all over for him. I couldn't see his mind at any point.

that's perfectly all right. You see, I have some.

Say, who let you in?

Is she the one that you... Did you mean... Oh, you chiseler.

Chiseler? Say, I was here first. Go on, beat it. Oh, I see. You boys know each

other. Well, I don't recognize the body, but that face looks familiar. Yeah, so

does that necktie. It's one of those socks. Please. I think you've gone far

enough. I may have gone far enough, but that guy's got a long way to go yet.

Here, have some of the candy your friend brought.

Thanks.

Let me give Eddie some.

Oh, no, thanks. No, it's unlucky for me to reach for a sweet. Oh, come on,

Eddie. Have a piece of candy. Oh, no, I never... Lovely place you have, Ann.

Babs has landed Biff and Eddie on the same hook.

I'll say.

Babs in?

Yes, I am. Thank you. Oh, well, pardon me. I'll be right back. Certainly.

Don't be going along.

Don't be impatient.

Remind me to sock you in the nose later. When I hit you in the eye, that'll

remind you.

You're perfectly welcome.

Well, hello, Beth. Hello, Eddie. How do you do?

Is she the one? Were you talking... I hope I'm not intruding.

Not on me. No, we must take the bitter with the sweet.

Well, Babs, I just dropped in for a minute. Oh, that's all right. Stick

Eddie's going home in a minute, and he'll walk home with you.

Oh, pardon me. I'll be right back.

Certainly.

Oh, stick out your chins. Hey, look out, big boy. Careful now, careful.

Oh,

here comes McBride. Bring him inside.

Biffy's toes are itching to give him a ride.

Oh, hello.

How do you do? Am I intruding? Yes, you are.

Oh, good.

I love doing truth. Sit over there with Biffy. He's lonesome.

Hey,

that's Wendy.

Come on, let's go.

Did you miss me? Gee, I'm awfully sorry. I'd have been here much earlier when I

was down at the dog show.

Did you win any prizes?

Badge, could that possibly be for you?

There, you see, I'm right. It was. Oh, your father certainly raised one

Boy, didn't they, Dad? Congratulations, Biff. You picked out a sugar baby that

certainly draws the plot. Yeah, and there's one of them buzzing around here,

if he doesn't stop, how I'm going to swat him. Oh, you're a great big strong

man.

Oh,

Pop goes the freshman.

We had a nap? We could catch the overplow. Ew.

I need help. What's the matter, honey? Man trouble?

This is round up the reserve, and catch as catch can.

But remember, this is mine.

Oh, okay.

Gee, I'll bet I pick a dandelion or a guy without a chin.

Hail, hail, the gang's all here.

What's the use of complaining?

What's the use of complaining?

Hail, hail.

Sure, come on in. It's a mass meeting.

Look, Biffy, we've got company.

Gee, I'm glad I came. Our land got a seat. Well, you're lucky.

Sounds like a convention of Swiss ballroom.

Oh, Beth!

Oh, pardon us. We didn't know you had confidence.

Oh, that's all right. Come on in. Sure. Come on in, Betty. Sure. Bring them all

in. Now that we're all here, I've got a great idea.

Let's play post office.

Oh. That's a kid's game.

Not the way I play it. Oh.

I am called the campus band. The reason is I can sing. Oh, I'm the baby.

I'm the campus band. I'm the campus band.

I'm the band.

I'm the band. I'm the band. I'm the band. I'm the band.

I'm the band.

And return to the bus at sundown.

Well, Biff, the professor

said to scatter. All right, why don't you scatter?

Next.

It's too bad I'm not twins. That guy's got enough double meanings without your

being twins.

You know, Babs, every time I look at Biff, I can figure out why girls walk

And you're the reason they run home.

I bet you left it in the bus.

Wait a minute, Biff.

He's not used to these little courtesies.

Let's flaming youth dash back.

Here's your camera.

I know.

I saw you take it.

Oh, click this. What's that awful thing? Wait a minute. Wait a minute while I

get it.

Oh, why, it's only a poor little harmless upholstered worm.

Here, my dear students, we have a very good specimen of the familiar

caterpillar. Note the long, gray whiskers that shows that he is the male

lost his safety razor.

Oh, I've lost my pin.

Oh, dear.

Have you won this?

Gosh, I don't think I've carried one since the children grew up.

But I shouldn't thank you for changing pins.

No?

I'll give it back to you tonight.

Oh, don't be in any hurry to give it back, Babs.

I got quite a kick out of seeing you wear it.

Honest, I will.

But doesn't it mean something when a girl wears a boy's fertility suit?

It'll mean an awful lot to me if you'll wear mine.

Say, Babs, are you all dated up for the glee club hop?

No.

I've been waiting for somebody to ask me.

Somebody in particular.

Gee, that's great.

Well, consider yourself as.

And you consider yourself turned down.

Who let you back in this country? Now, don't get hard -boiled, Biffy. Remember,

you're only a three -minute egg. Yeah, you and smallpox are my favorite

diseases. You know, in about a minute, he'll be rooming down here with the

worms. Now, about this hop. Say, get this. Babs is going to the hop with me,

see? Me. Not while I'm conscious. She isn't.

Courage. Give me courage to withstand.

And this inevitable war, this horror, this impending carnage. Oh, beauteous

lady, list to the pleas of your devoted knight.

Ope your ears to my entreaties. And ope the other one to me, fair lady.

Aye, my gallant, I would list.

Waste not the hours with yonder young horse pistol. Don't while the knight to

nothingness with that young numbed scullion.

Oh, I beseech thee, lady, put your okay on me.

I know.

We'll settle this as did the fearless knights of old.

How? What do you mean?

Battle to the death, and the victor shall be my escort to the house.

Tis well -spoken.

In sooth, that's a darb of an idea. Yeah, bring on your chopping block and

axe. I haven't murdered a man since breakfast.

Yeah? Yeah.

All right, you heard me.

Hold it. Oh, never let it be said that I bred enmity to excomers as staunch as

thou. Rather than commit such folly, I will go to the house alone.

Oh, no, you won't. I've got an idea.

We'll have an old -fashioned caterpillar race to see who takes you.

Yeah, we'll do nothing of the kind.

What's the matter, big heart? Aren't you game?

Game? Game? Yes, I'm game. I'm game for anything.

Good.

Now, look, Babs.

See that little leaf?

Uh -huh.

That's you.

Me? What do you mean?

Now, just watch. You'll get the idea in a minute.

Here, choose your horse. Wait a minute.

I'll take this one with the red nose.

Red noses always run better.

All right now, war horse.

Isn't he particular?

All right now, man of war. When that starting gun goes off, I want you to

up your heels. Lay back your ears and show me some speed.

Oh, boy. Here, Babs. You fire the starting gun.

And if you're a wise little girl, you'll know who to root for.

Don't worry.

I know who to root for.

And, Caddy, remember you're racing for me and my fair lady.

All right, now, man o' war, here's your one big chance to give this little girl

a break. Yeah, forget about those breaks. Let's go.

Bang! They're off! Come on, now, Caddy, come on. Show them some speed. Come on,

now. Never mind stopping to sleep. Atta boy!

Atta boy!

Oh, good night. Mine's going back to bed.

Get him an alarm clock. Come on, Caddy, I'll kick all the stuffing out of your

pillows. Come on. Come on, Caddy, come on. Come on, come on, come on. One more

inch now. Sprint for the finish.

Attaboy. Good night. Mine should have had roller skates. Come on, Caddy. Come

on, Caddy. Caddy wins.

Good old Caddy gets a new set of pillows.

Oh, say, of all the yellow quitters I ever saw, you're it.

Honestly, this entry of mine must have had sleeping sickness. And now I guess

it's settled who takes you to the hop.

It surely is several deaths.

And, Eddie, aren't you crushed by the blow?

Yeah, but I'm bleeding internally.

Don't squawk, big boy. Oh, who's squawking? Who's squawking? But

this galloping worm of mine just quit like a dog. Yeah, you'd quit, too, if

stuck your nose into a drop of the professor's formaldehyde.

Say,

I'll get you for this.

Anytime, sweetheart, anytime.

Why, you...

Say, you better have an ambulance ready the next time you meet me.

Why are you... Poison.

Of all the dirty... Gee, why didn't I think of that?

Who grabbed that sock?

Tell the police I've been regularized! Ouch!

What's the matter? What are you yelping about?

Someone took my last sock.

Oh, write to Jack Dempsey for once. Oh, dear, well, I've got to get a sock.

Isn't it strange how things disappear around here?

Yeah, everything but your nerve.

Freshman. Yes, sir.

Take these trousers down to Moldavines and have them pressed.

If he's not there, just toss them over the transom.

Yes, sir.

I've changed his mind.

Send these instead.

Yes, sir.

I'm taking Babs to the hop because I'm your roommate and big -hearted. Why,

bring you back our dance program.

Yeah? You wouldn't like to mail it to me and sleep in the lake, would you?

Hey!

Hey, you, wait a minute.

Why, what is the matter?

Oh, you haven't the slightest idea, have you?

Where are my pants?

Don't tell me you've mislaid your trousers.

Why...

Oh, Biff, listen. Now, what a lousy trick for you to play on me.

Well, on a night like this, oh, gee. Well, who wants you at this dance

Say, now, listen. You'll be sorry for this. You know how Babs will feel when

finds I'm not there. Yes, and imagine her embarrassment if you are.

If you hadn't the skin of a rhinoceros, you'd realize how Babs feels about you

anyway. Yeah?

All right. You think you're the white -haired boy now, don't you?

But you wait.

I'm like the undertaker. I get them in the end.

See, I'll tell you what I'll do.

What? If this turns out to be a masquerade, I'll send for you.

Oh,

Biff, you can't.

You can't do this to me.

You've heard a lot about, here's just a word about freshmen.

Oh, we're glad we're not freshmen.

We're out of that spirit.

Now that we're sophomores, regular sophomores, good times.

We're going to have good times.

Our heyday is here.

Most every poet will be found down at the ball.

We've planned a lot for this. We're kind of hot for this big night. Oh, we'll

make it a big night.

The dance of the year.

Go and get a girl. Then make a date with her. Don't be late with her.

You'll be great with her when you introduce her down at the sophomore

Every girl's rib should have an arm about.

If there's harm about it, sing a song and shout. Eat stop -a -lot, you're at

sophomore prom.

It's not a night for chronic haze.

It's not a night for peaceful sailors.

But what a night for gin inhalers. Oh, giggly -gaggle -a -gobble -o, say, now

how do we get home? Now we don't know how we do. Who the heck says we do? What

if we do? Everything is maybe down at the sophomore prom.

How are you, Daddy? How are you?

You might congratulate me on the way I had your dance program filled out.

You've been most generous giving all these dances to Ditto, haven't you?

Ditto and I are great pals at a dance.

You are a dancer, honey.

Yeah, and pleasure.

Why, Eddie!

Eddie?

Eddie's home writing an article on should two -pants suits become a

issue. Oh, it's terrible.

We will now start our regular dance program by playing I Don't Want Your

If I Can't Have Your Love.

I don't want your kisses if I can't have your love.

Thank you.

Don't make me laugh. I don't want that.

Maybe you know what I'm thinking of.

I don't want your kisses if I can't.

I certainly am, and of all the sappy, emaciated dumb cubs I've ever seen, that

guy takes the cake.

Sir, do you realize who I am?

Why, no, I can't say that I do.

I'm Professor Jackson's daughter.

Oh, you are?

Well, the store played you a dirty trick.

Do you know who I am? No.

Thank heaven.

Oh, come on, will you?

Oh, have a heart. Come on.

Hey,

come back with my patch.

Who do you think I am, September Morn?

Me, Bats. When I'm dancing with you, I seem to be on top of the world.

You'd better climb down or you'll be late for class in the morning. Oh, why

can't you be serious when you're with me? Well, here I am.

Sorry I was late, Bats.

But I was detained.

on pressing business.

Come on, Beth.

Let's dance.

I beg your pardon, but I believe this is our dance. I'm very sorry, old boy, but

we're dancing a straight program.

The card speaks for itself. Yeah, you bet your life it does.

I don't know why I'm letting you get away with it. Well, it's not such a bad

break for you, sister.

Oh, I suppose all the girls who missed dancing with you tonight will have a

miserable time.

Well, it won't help their evening, Annie.

Really? Oh, indelibly.

Well,

I beg your pardon, sir.

Freshman, have you ever taken any dancing lessons?

Yes, sir. From Professor Baker.

You should meet my brother.

Oh, is he a dancing teacher? No, he's a lawyer. He'd get you your money back.

Can I have the last dance with you?

You had your last dance with me.

Just as indecent.

Hey, send somebody back with an apron, will you?

Oh,

Babs, I'm disappointed.

I thought I was going to have all your data.

How did Eddie's name happen to get on that program?

Oh, I don't know.

I guess it's just one of those boys who gets what he wants.

Has he been getting serious with you?

Oh, now listen, Mr. Dickinson.

No service agreed, please.

Oh, gee.

I don't seem to be able to get anywhere with you.

Oh, don't be silly, Biff. You know I'm not you.

You don't show it.

Well, what do you want me to do?

Tattoo your name on my chest?

Babs, I wish you wouldn't talk like that. I only wanted to tell you that

Gee, I'm all balled up. Well, well. Now, don't tell me that people have gone

away and left you two all alone again. What a shame.

What a pity.

The next dance will be a tag dance.

So get ready for the struggle. But remember, no hitting in the clinches.

Come on, Babs. Let's dance.

Go right ahead, Beth.

On with the dance.

I'll be with you in half a shake, Beth.

You'll have

to

get out. You'll have to get out. You'll have to get out. You'll have to get out.

Okay, Biff, may I present to you... No, you can't. I've got a dance girl of my

own. Say, what are you trying to do, get rid of me?

Oh, now, wait a minute, baby. Gee whiz, don't get so nervous. This is a tag

dance. You're no prize to dance with. Well, I wouldn't talk about you.

If he wasn't a faggot, he'd better go get mad. I'm about a tag dance.

Bring around a Rosie, get another posy, and if you come around again, I'll sock

you in the nosy. Oh, Jeff, you shouldn't act like that.

You don't want to dance with that guy, do you?

Well, I can't help it because... Well, keep your eye peeled. If we see him,

we'll duck.

That's why.

That's the way I got these.

Say,

why can't you fellas get girls of your own?

Oh, what do you mean? It's a tag dance, isn't it? Yeah, but don't bother Babs

and me.

Oh, well, don't get excited.

Now we're both out of luck.

Don't tell me that was you.

I'll ask to say if it's true.

I've come to claim my lady fair. Now, what are you going to do? Oh, yes, I

it's true.

I'll have to give up to you.

But if you'll meet me behind the gym, I'll show you what I'll do.

Oh, this is marvelous.

Yes, sir. Oh, Babs. What a break for you.

Something very fortunate has happened.

Yes, I can see right where I came into your life.

I'm getting closer and closer and... No, no.

Oh, well.

Take a few exercises.

Good night, Beth.

Good night, Beth. Good night, Jane. Good night, Beth. See you at the house. I

know.

Good night, Jane.

Well, well, Beth, where have you been? We've been looking all over for you.

you must have strained your eyes looking for me.

I bet he was right here all the time. Isn't that funny?

Yeah, isn't that funny? Me holding the well -known sack on the last dance.

Now, Biffy, you wouldn't get sore after the way I've helped you out with your

dances this evening? Yeah, that's all right. I'll see you about that later.

Wait a minute. I'll come right along and you can see me now. Won't that be

great?

There's but five more steps before I must leave thee.

Ah, bitter world.

Oh, Ferris Juliet, wouldst kiss me good enough, senorita?

Hold my galant night.

Are thou wooing me in German, Spanish, or both? Oh, my lady, in every way.

And I am pretty that will kiss me on my adieu.

Oh.

Oh, my fair one.

Oh, my good lord.

Oh, my lady.

Oh, my nice.

Oh, my lord. Oh, no.

Biff, why don't you go home? You're keeping this little girl up.

Say, will you beat it? We don't need you around here anymore.

Huh?

Oh, I see. You don't want to be alone again.

Well, I never thought of that. No.

Good night, Babs. Good night, Eddie. Good night, Biff. Good night.

Go ahead, Biff. I won't look much.

He certainly is a clown, isn't he?

Yeah, I'm getting fed up on his clowning. Oh, Biff. You take things too

seriously.

I'm taking you seriously.

How are you taking me?

I'm waiting, Biff.

Why, Biff, I... Oh, hello.

Hello.

Did you have a good time at the dance tonight?

Oh, yeah.

Great.

Good night, Deb.

Good night. Good night.

Just to show you that I'm a big -hearted roommate, I brought you our dance

program.

Now take good care of that boy.

Boy, did I have a good time tonight.

Whoopee, burned my glow.

What's the matter with you? Are you taking the veil?

Oh, they just don't mean anything to me anymore.

Stay here.

Why have you been so serious all evening?

Yeah, maybe I have been serious and sore -headed.

Maybe. Hey,

Eddie, I want to talk to you. All right, shoot.

I want you to know just how I feel.

Okay.

You and I have been through a thousand female campaigns together.

Yeah, boy. We've shared our girls like we've shared our neckties.

Oh, you never had any neckties. Oh, shut up, will you? And let me talk.

And none of them meant any more to us than just a passing fancy, right?

Right -o.

But Babs is different. I'm serious about her.

Ah, you're clowning. No, I mean it.

Well, forget it.

Well, I've got $11 in theater tickets and ice cream tied up in that James. Oh,

will you lay off, Eddie?

You're only fooling around. Now, you know how I feel about her.

Cliff, are you serious?

I'm just as serious.

After I graduate, I'm going to ask her to marry me.

I didn't know you felt that way about it, kid.

That's different.

Well, if that's the way it is, this is Station M .E. signing off.

Well, thanks, Eddie.

Oh, sure.

You're a regular.

Oh, shut up.

You know what I thought tonight?

No, what?

I thought you were getting serious about her.

But it's great now that I know she doesn't mean anything to you.

Gee, that's pretty, isn't it?

Huh? I'd say that's a pretty tune, isn't it?

Yeah.

Eddie.

Huh? You know who's going to be my best man.

One, two, three.

Hello, Eddie.

Hello, ma 'am. Long time no see.

Yeah, long time no see to war, too.

Hi, Jackson.

Hello, Eddie.

Yep, all right, coach.

Hello, Dick. Hello.

Can you run me up the house? Sure. All right, I won't be a minute. Okay.

Oh, I couldn't do that. The coach is putting me on a diet of Dove's eyebrows

long hikes. Go on.

What's the matter, Eddie? Cold feet?

No, big heart.

I think I'll have to look into that heart trouble.

So Eddie's getting your goat, passing you up, eh?

I never would.

Eddie, what's the matter with you lately?

Are you afraid of me?

Yeah, I'm afraid you'll bite me.

Don't be silly. You know I'm a vegetarian.

Yeah, well, there's nothing wrong with your nerves, is there?

I know.

You promised your mama not to let anything to do with girls, radios, or

-Cola. Now, don't be comic. Lay off of me.

Big, brave football man.

Oh, me afraid of a mere female?

Say, I'm the veteran of a thousand campaigns.

Oh, well then, hop in, Don Juan, and show me some of that train grease.

Now, run along, little girl. Don't bother the big boys.

Oh, you talk bravely.

But you act terribly gay.

Yeah? Yeah.

Move over.

Hey, don't make me laugh.

Go on. Get on with your work.

Drive ahead.

And Kodak as you go.

Where's Dad?

Well,

that's all right. I'll see her after dinner.

Sure. So long.

So long.

Bring me.

What's the idea?

Oh, let's talk about something else.

Come on, let's get going.

I won't.

All right.

Night -night, isn't it, Eddie?

Yeah, it's a big night if it doesn't shrink.

Beautiful spot, don't you think?

It's all right.

Eddie boy, what's the matter?

Now, don't try to bring on my weak moments.

Oh, what's the use?

You're too young.

Well, what do you mean too young?

Say, you think I'm a cast -iron dog on somebody's front lawn, don't you?

I'll show you.

There you little mutt.

How do you like that?

Not so bad.

Be my girlfriend, do -do -do.

Hey, Drew?

Yeah? Has Eddie come in yet?

No, I haven't seen him. Okay.

Da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da.

Ah, you lovable little nut.

How do you do, Mrs. Stearns? Is Babs in?

No. But I guess she'll be here soon.

We're keeping her dinner waiting.

Well, do you mind if I wait?

Certainly not.

Won't you come in? No, thanks. I'll wait right out here.

Oh, thank you very much.

Hello, Beth.

Hello.

Will you stand for Saturday?

Oh, I hope so.

So do I.

I'm sure going to be out to root for you.

Attaboy. I hope you win.

Thanks. So long. So long, kid.

You didn't answer my question.

What question?

I asked you if you were sorry that I kidnapped you.

Oh, no, Babs, of course I'm not sorry.

You're glad you're not sorry, aren't you, Eddie?

Oh, gee, I don't know whether I'm glad I'm sorry or sorry I'm glad or what.

Oh, boy.

Good night. It's locked.

Gosh, what do we do?

We'll have to climb over the wall, I guess.

But, Eddie, we can't leave the car.

Oh, sure. We'll sneak back early in the morning and get it. Come on.

Hop out.

How are we going to do this?

I'll tell you. I'll boost you up. Oh, Eddie. Can't you borrow a step ladder

somewhere? Step ladder? Well, no, but I'm a step child. I'll do my best. Come

on, get your foot up there and I'll boost you. All right, all right. Take it

easy. All right. Be careful.

All right. Don't push me. No way. Up on my shoulder.

Oh, gee, Eddie, I can't get up there.

Look out. Look out.

Oh, gee, Beth.

Oh, Eddie, we forgot.

We're in a hurry.

Oh, that's right.

Be careful now. Listen, I'll climb up and pull you up after me. All right.

Come on now. Take it easy.

Don't slip on those things. No, I won't.

Here you go. Maybe I won't.

The other one? All right, all right.

Come on.

Oh, that's a stop. Oh, bad.

See,

Eddie, isn't this fun?

Oh, it's great.

Gee, I'll bet the sunrise will look swell from up here.

Sunrise?

Oh, Eddie, come on, let's go.

All right, we're on everything now.

Watch the old key jumper.

I'll never forget this night with you. You will?

No, not till tomorrow night, if I can have that one with you.

You never can tell, Eddie.

Good night, Eddie. Good night, honey baby.

There. There.

All right.

My speech is going to be brief.

I just want to thank this wonderful team for the splendid record they've made.

Hooray!

Remember, we're going to have a fight tomorrow.

The old USC spirit is going to be there.

Some of these men are playing their last game for this college tomorrow.

You're going to lose two in particular.

You know who I mean? Biff and Eddie.

All right,

gang. Biff and Eddie.

Biff and Eddie.

Are you looking for me? No.

How about you?

Right here in five.

Sweet.

Why say she pays me a nickel?

Even a nickel should be paid.

I've been wanting to see you all day.

And you haven't forgotten last night?

I've forgotten.

I've run a big hole in my calendar, Babs.

Then why are you so serious?

Well, I... It's about Biff. I'm worried. He's... He's pretty sore at me because

I was out with you last night. He hasn't spoken to me all day.

Biff hasn't any right to be sore.

He hasn't any strings on me.

If there are any strings on me, you...

Oh, that lets down the bars for me to say what I've been wanting to.

I want you to wear my fraternity pin at the game tomorrow.

Will you?

I'd love to.

Oh, buddy.

I got a bat over you.

You know how my heart's beating.

Is that your heart or an envelope?

Just one little step to remember the morning.

Oh, no. And if somebody might see it.

Oh, just a little quickie.

You got dirty double cloth?

Now, wait a minute, bitch.

I don't want any trouble with you.

Now listen, you got this all wrong.

Yeah, I suppose you didn't take her out. I suppose she kidnapped you.

No. I did it on my own hook. I took her out.

Oh.

So that's the way you want it, is it?

All right.

friendship of a fraternity.

Theirs is not only the friendship of teammates, but they are friends until

end. You, my friend.

the piano along. Why the piano?

Because I left the tickets on.

I want you to meet someone.

Bruce? Bruce?

This is Bruce Nolan. This is my roommate, Betty.

Well, how do you do? There's your change, bud.

Pardon me, please.

Hey, bud.

Here's popcorn for you.

Isn't it just as brilliant?

I'll say it is. I can hardly wait to broadcast that.

Did you miss it?

Look, there is that lowlife Eddie that owes me 90 bucks.

How did Eddie miss that?

Hey, what's the matter, dear friend?

Two guys back up that line.

Hey, sit down, eggs, before I scramble you.

2 -1 -3 -7.

17 -31 -42.

The Packers are flipping big holes in the Southern California line.

In the secondary, the Packers seem to get going.

I'm out, Southern California.

What's the matter with you, Biff and Eddie?

You missed that guy a mile.

How I've missed you.

It's been so lonesome without you.

I've missed you too, honey.

The Trojans need a couple of artillery batteries to stop them. Here they go

again.

Second down, three to go.

Again,

still three arms to go.

USC has tightened up. They're fighting hard.

Here they come out of the huddle.

fell on the wall of Southern California.

That was a close fall for USC.

same parade through Southern California time again.

that missed every pass they tried today.

Something haywire.

They're certainly not playing their game today.

And the gun ended the first half.

The scores now stand seven to nothing and stand to stay.

Believe me, Southern California is lucky it isn't a hundred to nothing.

Is that so?

Who told you you could count your stomachs? The teams have left the field.

Now the cheering sections are going to work.

Nate.

What's the matter with Biff and Eddie? Any idea?

I don't know, Coach.

I'm sorry about something.

But they're not taking it out on Stanford.

That's what I've noticed.

Fall down here. Let

this winning guard come out here ahead of the interference and take out the

bulldog. Understand what I mean?

Okay.

Let's see him go out and fight this hat.

Jeff, Eddie.

I want to talk to you, man.

I expected to see you two play the greatest game of your lives today.

There's no need in me telling you that you didn't.

You're terrible.

You're playing it like a couple of second string high school kids.

Fumbles.

Missing tackles.

Being boxed. You're all wrong.

You have unmade five yards between you. Playing it like a couple of yellow

quitters. On, Allison. I am doing the talking here.

And get this thing straight.

Sentiment's not going to keep you on this team any longer.

All -American or no All -American.

You leave your grouches here and go out and fight.

Or I'll yank you both off. You understand?

Yank you both off.

And that goes.

$0 .20 for those.

They're believing in you, rooting for you, and fighting with you.

Thank God.

They're jumping into it again.

Point the kick.

It looks like he's through.

You can't take it easy.

You should have gone out before.

That knee shot's bad, boy.

It's bad.

Yeah, you're right, Doc.

You should have gone out before I pumped that kick. Oh, forget it, will you?

Will you forget it? Oh, Doc, tape it up. I've got to get that point back.

You can't do it anymore.

He's getting clear.

And here comes Smith. He's got it. Smith tackles so hard that Stanford fumbled

again. It's USC's ball.

Smith fell on it.

How are you?

Everything is great.

that I got sore as you because you took a girl away from me.

You could have anything I've got any time.

I wish there was some way I could let you know how I feel about this.

Forget it.

I understand.

Oh, I suppose we had this lesson coming to us.

But there's one thing.

No girl is ever going to come between us again, huh? Not a chance.

No girl or anything else.

You played a marvelous game today.

Yeah? You're just too adorable. I could kiss your balls.

Say, Eddie, where will you be in a couple of hours?

I'll be right on this little girl's elbow.