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1
00:00:02,979 --> 00:00:05,382
Danielle, your résumé
is very impressive.
2
00:00:05,482 --> 00:00:07,450
But we're not just
looking for a new baker,
3
00:00:07,484 --> 00:00:10,086
we're-we're looking for
a new member of the family.
4
00:00:10,153 --> 00:00:11,922
Oh, not me, I got
too much family.
5
00:00:12,022 --> 00:00:12,923
I need muffins.
6
00:00:13,023 --> 00:00:14,324
(Kat chuckles)
7
00:00:14,391 --> 00:00:15,759
See, Randi's the sassy
younger sister
8
00:00:15,825 --> 00:00:17,594
and I'm the cool older sister
where you're like,
9
00:00:17,727 --> 00:00:21,197
"She's valedictorian and makes
her own blue jeans? What?"
10
00:00:21,264 --> 00:00:23,934
(laughs) So, would you be able
to work an early morning shift?
11
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:26,102
And more importantly,
if you were a bird,
12
00:00:26,136 --> 00:00:27,537
what kind of bird would you be?
13
00:00:27,637 --> 00:00:30,507
Oh, what does that
have to do with this job?
14
00:00:30,607 --> 00:00:32,342
Well, I'm just trying
to learn more about her.
15
00:00:32,475 --> 00:00:34,144
We don't want to spend
day after day
16
00:00:34,211 --> 00:00:36,313
with someone who's so annoying.
17
00:00:36,379 --> 00:00:38,949
Yeah, I wonder what that
would be like.
18
00:00:39,583 --> 00:00:42,252
I'm sorry, I don't understand
the bird question.
19
00:00:42,352 --> 00:00:46,056
Ha. Looks like we got
ourselves a dodo.
20
00:00:46,923 --> 00:00:48,592
So, Gideon,
21
00:00:48,658 --> 00:00:49,693
it says here you come from
22
00:00:49,759 --> 00:00:52,295
the second-largest Amish
community in Kentucky.
23
00:00:52,362 --> 00:00:56,199
It would have been the largest
if we believed in vaccines.
24
00:00:56,266 --> 00:00:57,567
It also says here
25
00:00:57,634 --> 00:00:59,669
that the only other job
you've ever had is
26
00:00:59,769 --> 00:01:01,104
"doing the Lord's work"?
27
00:01:01,204 --> 00:01:05,475
Oh, it's 24-7, but I've got
the best boss ever.
28
00:01:05,575 --> 00:01:07,777
So, what brings you
to Louisville?
29
00:01:07,878 --> 00:01:12,182
Well, I've lived in one place
my entire life and...
30
00:01:12,249 --> 00:01:14,050
I'm not sure I belong there.
31
00:01:14,117 --> 00:01:17,587
The menfolk laugh at me,
the womenfolk ignore me.
32
00:01:17,654 --> 00:01:21,091
I mean, I'm 40,
I should be a grandpa by now.
33
00:01:21,224 --> 00:01:24,261
Well, I get the "feeling
like you don't belong" thing.
34
00:01:24,361 --> 00:01:25,795
When I was in high school,
35
00:01:25,862 --> 00:01:29,065
I tried to start a clique for
people who weren't in cliques.
36
00:01:29,132 --> 00:01:30,400
Got squeezed out.
37
00:01:30,467 --> 00:01:32,669
Stupid Ashley and her eye patch.
38
00:01:32,769 --> 00:01:35,305
I swear it changed sides.
39
00:01:35,372 --> 00:01:37,307
Okay, well, thank you
for coming in.
40
00:01:37,374 --> 00:01:39,009
Wait, no, hang on, hang on.
41
00:01:39,109 --> 00:01:41,111
If you were a bird...
42
00:01:41,211 --> 00:01:43,013
what kind of bird would you be?
43
00:01:43,079 --> 00:01:45,348
I was thinking about that
this morning.
44
00:01:45,448 --> 00:01:48,318
I would be
the bluebird of happiness.
45
00:01:48,385 --> 00:01:50,320
Well,
tweedle-deedle-ding-dong-dee,
46
00:01:50,420 --> 00:01:52,522
that is the exact right answer!
47
00:01:52,656 --> 00:01:53,557
You're in!
48
00:01:53,657 --> 00:01:55,025
The running. (chuckles)
49
00:01:55,091 --> 00:01:57,060
Do you have a number
where we can reach you?
50
00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:58,428
Oh, well, I don't have a phone,
51
00:01:58,495 --> 00:02:00,630
but how about you just
go outside and yell,
52
00:02:00,697 --> 00:02:02,032
"Ich hab en Kivvel"?
53
00:02:02,098 --> 00:02:05,468
It means "I have a bucket,"
but we'll get it.
54
00:02:05,569 --> 00:02:06,970
Yeah, we will.
55
00:02:07,103 --> 00:02:08,338
-All right.
-Bye.
56
00:02:08,405 --> 00:02:10,574
Well, good luck with
your other interviews.
57
00:02:11,775 --> 00:02:13,143
-He's perfect!
-What?
58
00:02:13,243 --> 00:02:14,411
We've interviewed
over 20 people,
59
00:02:14,477 --> 00:02:16,079
and that's who you want to hire?
60
00:02:16,146 --> 00:02:17,681
His story is beautiful.
61
00:02:17,747 --> 00:02:20,283
Growing up Amish, wondering
what else is out there,
62
00:02:20,350 --> 00:02:22,385
learning in this very café
five minutes ago
63
00:02:22,452 --> 00:02:24,454
that women are allowed
to own businesses.
64
00:02:24,588 --> 00:02:26,356
Okay, so you remember
that woman Danielle
65
00:02:26,489 --> 00:02:28,992
who went to a culinary school
in Paris?
66
00:02:29,059 --> 00:02:30,293
Gideon's only reference
67
00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:33,430
is a basket weaver
named Old Jebediah.
68
00:02:33,496 --> 00:02:37,100
Randi, come on. I think I know
what he's going through.
69
00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:38,501
I mean, just two years ago,
70
00:02:38,602 --> 00:02:40,637
I decided I didn't want
to be a math professor
71
00:02:40,704 --> 00:02:42,405
and I wanted to own a cat café.
72
00:02:42,505 --> 00:02:44,374
Yeah, and everyone
judges you for it.
73
00:02:44,441 --> 00:02:46,743
Oh, please. Nobody judges me.
74
00:02:46,810 --> 00:02:48,011
Wha...?
75
00:02:52,682 --> 00:02:56,653
Okay, now I see why One-Eyed
Ashley squeezed your ass out.
76
00:02:57,754 --> 00:02:59,456
♪ Me, oh, my, oh, my, oh, me ♪
77
00:02:59,556 --> 00:03:02,225
♪ Nothin' wrong with you
but I'd rather be me. ♪
78
00:03:02,325 --> 00:03:05,228
Max, do you find me attractive?
79
00:03:05,328 --> 00:03:08,665
Once again, Sheila, I grazed
against you in that elevator,
80
00:03:08,765 --> 00:03:11,701
but it was an accident
and I'm dating your daughter.
81
00:03:11,768 --> 00:03:13,169
It's just, there are three times
82
00:03:13,236 --> 00:03:15,171
as many women as men
at Valley Hills,
83
00:03:15,238 --> 00:03:18,541
and even I'm having trouble
standing out from the crowd.
84
00:03:18,642 --> 00:03:23,079
All those hussies
with their new hips.
85
00:03:23,213 --> 00:03:24,281
Well, I think you're beautiful.
86
00:03:24,314 --> 00:03:26,783
And you and me have more
in common than you think.
87
00:03:26,883 --> 00:03:27,984
I'm retired, too.
88
00:03:28,084 --> 00:03:29,853
You're unemployed.
89
00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:31,288
Tomato, potato.
90
00:03:31,354 --> 00:03:33,523
Want to party in my Pontiac?
91
00:03:33,590 --> 00:03:35,091
Is there anyone
you're interested in?
92
00:03:35,158 --> 00:03:38,061
I'm really hoping to get
to know this guy Rodrigo.
93
00:03:38,128 --> 00:03:41,298
Ooh, he's handsome, charming,
speaks Spanish.
94
00:03:41,364 --> 00:03:42,699
I don't know, there's
something exciting
95
00:03:42,832 --> 00:03:45,969
about a man who
can roll his Rs.
96
00:03:46,036 --> 00:03:51,741
(rolling Rs):
Burrito. In a Pontiac Fiero.
97
00:03:51,841 --> 00:03:53,944
Please move a chair away.
98
00:03:54,044 --> 00:03:56,012
So why don't you ask
this Rodrigo out?
99
00:03:56,079 --> 00:03:58,515
I would if I could get
a moment alone with him.
100
00:03:58,615 --> 00:04:00,750
He's always surrounded
by a bunch of women
101
00:04:00,784 --> 00:04:03,320
with visible diaper lines.
102
00:04:03,386 --> 00:04:04,921
You need to find
yourself a wingman.
103
00:04:04,988 --> 00:04:07,090
Someone who can distract
the competition
104
00:04:07,157 --> 00:04:08,158
so you can get closer to...
105
00:04:08,225 --> 00:04:11,161
(struggling to roll Rs):
Rodrigo.
106
00:04:11,228 --> 00:04:12,562
What are you doing?
107
00:04:12,662 --> 00:04:13,663
It's like this.
108
00:04:13,730 --> 00:04:15,532
(struggling to roll Rs):
Rodrigo.
109
00:04:15,632 --> 00:04:17,067
See? That easy.
110
00:04:17,133 --> 00:04:20,971
(rolling Rs):
My Fiero is right outside.
111
00:04:21,037 --> 00:04:22,906
(door opens)
112
00:04:22,973 --> 00:04:24,975
-Hey, guys.
-CARTER: Hey.
-Hi.
113
00:04:25,041 --> 00:04:26,610
Well, the search is over,
114
00:04:26,710 --> 00:04:29,012
we finally found our new baker.
115
00:04:29,079 --> 00:04:30,146
This is Gideon.
116
00:04:30,213 --> 00:04:32,015
-Hey.
-Hi, Gideon. Welcome.
117
00:04:32,082 --> 00:04:34,584
Wow, my first bar.
118
00:04:34,684 --> 00:04:36,820
And my second Black person.
119
00:04:36,887 --> 00:04:37,954
Excuse me?
120
00:04:38,054 --> 00:04:39,022
Amish.
121
00:04:39,089 --> 00:04:41,491
Oh. I loved you in Kingpin.
122
00:04:41,558 --> 00:04:43,627
Gideon is on a journey
of self-discovery.
123
00:04:43,727 --> 00:04:46,630
And as someone who recently
went through this myself,
124
00:04:46,663 --> 00:04:48,899
I am giddy to be his guide.
125
00:04:48,965 --> 00:04:50,934
(laughs) Hang on.
126
00:04:51,034 --> 00:04:53,236
Giddy. Gideon.
127
00:04:53,303 --> 00:04:54,471
Did you do that on purpose?
128
00:04:54,537 --> 00:04:56,106
Yeah, wordplay's
kind of my thing.
129
00:04:56,206 --> 00:04:57,440
(both laughing)
130
00:04:57,507 --> 00:05:01,478
Anyway, these are all
of my favorite people.
131
00:05:01,545 --> 00:05:03,213
Oh, and my mother.
132
00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:04,447
Whoa.
133
00:05:05,081 --> 00:05:07,183
You are so glamorous.
134
00:05:07,250 --> 00:05:09,152
Are you a prostitute?
135
00:05:09,219 --> 00:05:12,355
Aw, aren't you a dear?
136
00:05:12,422 --> 00:05:14,190
♪ ♪
137
00:05:14,257 --> 00:05:17,661
Okay, that'll be $12.45.
138
00:05:17,727 --> 00:05:18,929
Or if you're open to barter,
139
00:05:19,029 --> 00:05:21,565
I would take a half cord
of wood or a haircut.
140
00:05:21,598 --> 00:05:23,934
I'm in. How do you feel
about a mullet?
141
00:05:24,034 --> 00:05:25,869
Wait, no, no bartering,
no bartering.
142
00:05:25,936 --> 00:05:27,037
Money is just fine.
143
00:05:27,137 --> 00:05:28,705
What are you doing?
Let him cut his hair.
144
00:05:28,772 --> 00:05:31,374
Hold up, this cupcake
doesn't have any frosting on it.
145
00:05:31,408 --> 00:05:34,477
Frosting is vanity,
and vanity is a sin.
146
00:05:34,578 --> 00:05:37,247
So is drinking before noon,
but here we are.
147
00:05:37,314 --> 00:05:40,016
Gideon, frosting is not a sin.
148
00:05:40,083 --> 00:05:42,819
Yeah, and-and I know your faith
is important to you,
149
00:05:42,919 --> 00:05:44,988
but these
bible-inspired cookies,
150
00:05:45,088 --> 00:05:46,189
they're not really selling.
151
00:05:46,289 --> 00:05:48,124
But they're scripture-doodles.
152
00:05:48,191 --> 00:05:51,428
Well, they taste like
the cookies you get in hell.
153
00:05:51,528 --> 00:05:53,129
Son of a biscuit.
154
00:05:53,196 --> 00:05:55,932
I am not good at this job.
155
00:05:55,999 --> 00:05:57,634
Old Jebediah is right,
156
00:05:57,667 --> 00:06:00,503
I don't learn nothing
without the switch.
157
00:06:00,570 --> 00:06:01,705
No, come on.
158
00:06:01,771 --> 00:06:04,641
No one expects you to get
everything right your first day.
159
00:06:04,708 --> 00:06:06,376
Look at me and the SATs.
160
00:06:06,443 --> 00:06:08,945
It took me two tries
to get a perfect score.
161
00:06:09,079 --> 00:06:10,213
Actually, it only took one,
162
00:06:10,313 --> 00:06:11,815
I'm just trying
to make him feel better.
163
00:06:11,915 --> 00:06:12,983
Aw, shucks.
164
00:06:13,083 --> 00:06:14,317
You're just being nice.
165
00:06:14,351 --> 00:06:16,386
And you're just being too hard
on yourself.
166
00:06:16,453 --> 00:06:18,688
People like you and me,
we beat ourselves up.
167
00:06:18,788 --> 00:06:20,190
But we don't have to.
168
00:06:20,223 --> 00:06:21,458
That's what Randi's for.
169
00:06:21,591 --> 00:06:24,194
If you love what you do,
it's not a job.
170
00:06:24,261 --> 00:06:27,430
Gosh it all to heck,
you're right.
171
00:06:27,530 --> 00:06:28,965
I'm gonna go back
to that kitchen
172
00:06:29,032 --> 00:06:33,169
and make some dank cupcakes,
no cap, bitches.
173
00:06:34,871 --> 00:06:37,941
What? You're not the only one
who can teach him things.
174
00:06:38,041 --> 00:06:40,644
(both chuckle)
175
00:06:42,679 --> 00:06:43,914
You guys want a drink?
176
00:06:44,014 --> 00:06:46,550
Roy here makes
a mean White Russian
177
00:06:46,616 --> 00:06:48,184
with vodka and Ensure.
178
00:06:48,251 --> 00:06:51,221
I thought you said you needed us
to move a bunch of old bags.
179
00:06:51,288 --> 00:06:53,290
Yes, they're over there.
180
00:06:55,091 --> 00:06:58,228
Move them away from Rodrigo.
181
00:06:58,261 --> 00:06:59,763
Start with Nancy.
182
00:06:59,863 --> 00:07:01,331
She's a little
too full of herself
183
00:07:01,431 --> 00:07:03,700
since she went into remission.
184
00:07:03,767 --> 00:07:06,670
Wait, wait, did you bring us
here to be your wingmen?
185
00:07:06,770 --> 00:07:09,573
So that's why you asked
if I had Daisy Dukes.
186
00:07:09,639 --> 00:07:12,208
Oh, if I still had a car,
you'd be washing it.
187
00:07:12,309 --> 00:07:13,944
Sheila, we are not
pieces of meat.
188
00:07:14,010 --> 00:07:15,579
Oh, speak for yourself.
189
00:07:15,679 --> 00:07:17,480
I like being objectified.
190
00:07:17,547 --> 00:07:19,683
It feels nice.
191
00:07:20,283 --> 00:07:23,753
Hey, I'm thinking about making
Gideon a dating profile.
192
00:07:23,853 --> 00:07:25,956
Do you think it's safe to say
he's still a virgin?
193
00:07:26,022 --> 00:07:29,693
Girl, I wouldn't be surprised if
he's never seen himself naked.
194
00:07:29,793 --> 00:07:31,261
And why would you do that?
195
00:07:31,361 --> 00:07:33,830
Well, because he said one of the
reasons he left his community
196
00:07:33,964 --> 00:07:34,764
was to find love.
197
00:07:34,898 --> 00:07:36,566
Plus he's the only person
I've ever met
198
00:07:36,633 --> 00:07:39,669
who could actually be
on Farmers Only.
199
00:07:40,937 --> 00:07:43,440
-(grunting)
-(squishing)
200
00:07:46,676 --> 00:07:50,013
Uh, I think he may need
a few minutes alone.
201
00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:52,115
Gideon, are you churning butter?
202
00:07:52,182 --> 00:07:55,352
Oh, we were running low,
so I thought I'd make some.
203
00:07:55,418 --> 00:07:57,120
-Oh, you really
don't have to do that.
-No, hang on,
204
00:07:57,187 --> 00:07:59,522
this is gonna kill
on Farmers Only.
205
00:08:00,891 --> 00:08:02,392
You're living in
a modern world now.
206
00:08:02,492 --> 00:08:04,761
You don't have to churn
your own butter.
207
00:08:04,828 --> 00:08:07,430
Right, 'cause it's women's work.
208
00:08:07,497 --> 00:08:08,531
Here, Randi.
209
00:08:08,598 --> 00:08:10,634
Oh, I'd advise you not
to hand me that stick.
210
00:08:10,700 --> 00:08:12,269
What if I told you there's
211
00:08:12,369 --> 00:08:16,072
a magical store that not only
sells already-churned butter
212
00:08:16,139 --> 00:08:18,441
but everything else
you could possibly want?
213
00:08:18,508 --> 00:08:23,380
Oh, there's a butter
and harmonica store?
214
00:08:23,446 --> 00:08:24,981
♪ ♪
215
00:08:25,081 --> 00:08:27,150
Is this heaven?
216
00:08:28,018 --> 00:08:29,886
Better.
217
00:08:29,953 --> 00:08:32,155
It's Costco.
218
00:08:39,696 --> 00:08:41,097
That was in the good old days
when you didn't
219
00:08:41,231 --> 00:08:43,466
get fired
for bagging a stewardess.
220
00:08:43,567 --> 00:08:45,068
(laughter)
221
00:08:45,168 --> 00:08:48,772
Oh, yeah. Thanks a lot, Biden.
222
00:08:48,838 --> 00:08:49,806
(laughter)
223
00:08:49,873 --> 00:08:52,075
Oh, keep it in
your pants, Mindy.
224
00:08:52,142 --> 00:08:55,478
Your husband's not dead,
he's just napping.
225
00:08:56,146 --> 00:08:57,347
CARTER:
Hello, ladies.
226
00:08:57,447 --> 00:08:59,683
I didn't know that there
was a fox hunt today.
227
00:08:59,816 --> 00:09:02,052
Good thing I brought my guns.
228
00:09:03,220 --> 00:09:04,955
Ooh.
229
00:09:05,021 --> 00:09:06,957
You two are new.
230
00:09:07,023 --> 00:09:07,857
Do you work here?
231
00:09:08,058 --> 00:09:10,260
A friend invited us
to use the exercise room.
232
00:09:10,327 --> 00:09:12,162
Anybody want to help us stretch?
233
00:09:12,229 --> 00:09:13,730
-Ooh.
-Ooh.
234
00:09:13,797 --> 00:09:18,368
Well, I'm gonna stretch you in
places you never knew you had.
235
00:09:18,468 --> 00:09:19,669
(laughter)
236
00:09:21,338 --> 00:09:23,073
Oh.
237
00:09:23,206 --> 00:09:25,575
Hello, Rodrigo.
238
00:09:25,642 --> 00:09:29,112
I'm so happy to finally
get a moment with you.
239
00:09:29,212 --> 00:09:30,647
I'm Sheila Silver.
240
00:09:30,747 --> 00:09:31,882
I know who you are.
241
00:09:31,982 --> 00:09:33,850
They should call you
Centrum Silver
242
00:09:33,950 --> 00:09:36,353
because you got everything
a man might need.
243
00:09:36,453 --> 00:09:39,656
Well, and they should
call you Danish.
244
00:09:39,756 --> 00:09:43,026
Kind of sweet, kind of cheesy.
245
00:09:43,093 --> 00:09:44,394
(laughing)
246
00:09:44,494 --> 00:09:47,130
♪ ♪
247
00:09:49,099 --> 00:09:51,134
Kat? Gideon?
248
00:09:51,201 --> 00:09:54,638
Ooh. Ichabod Evel Knievel!
249
00:09:54,704 --> 00:09:56,339
Randi. Randi. Can I get these?
250
00:09:56,406 --> 00:09:58,575
-No.
-Oh, um, can I get this?
251
00:09:58,642 --> 00:10:01,444
-Fine.
-Okay, good, because
I already opened it.
252
00:10:02,579 --> 00:10:04,214
-Look what I got!
-Whoa!
253
00:10:04,314 --> 00:10:08,418
Gideon, I am your father.
254
00:10:09,219 --> 00:10:12,856
I don't know what's happening
right now, but I love it!
255
00:10:13,490 --> 00:10:16,927
Okay, now I see why
my mama drank so much.
256
00:10:16,993 --> 00:10:19,195
♪ ♪
257
00:10:19,829 --> 00:10:22,165
Ooh, I'm gonna get this
for Carter.
258
00:10:22,232 --> 00:10:24,100
His son buys him cologne
for Father's Day
259
00:10:24,167 --> 00:10:26,202
so he wears Iron Man by Marvel.
260
00:10:26,303 --> 00:10:28,204
Gideon, you should try it.
261
00:10:28,271 --> 00:10:30,073
You want me to change my scent?
262
00:10:30,173 --> 00:10:31,808
How will my animals know me?
263
00:10:31,875 --> 00:10:34,010
This is why you left
your community,
264
00:10:34,077 --> 00:10:35,912
to experience new things.
265
00:10:36,012 --> 00:10:37,781
Remember you were nervous
about trying out
266
00:10:37,847 --> 00:10:39,349
that revolving door at first?
267
00:10:39,449 --> 00:10:42,185
Then it turned out to be
the best two hours of your life.
268
00:10:42,252 --> 00:10:45,755
Aw, heck, spray me!
269
00:10:47,123 --> 00:10:52,095
Shuck my corn and call me
a good boy, I smell amazing.
270
00:10:52,195 --> 00:10:55,532
Who's not hardy enough to be
your husband now, Agatha?
271
00:10:55,632 --> 00:10:57,601
No cap, bitches.
272
00:10:57,667 --> 00:10:58,768
Did I use that right?
273
00:10:58,868 --> 00:10:59,970
Yes.
274
00:11:00,070 --> 00:11:04,007
Whoa. Does the president
of Costco live here?
275
00:11:04,107 --> 00:11:05,442
Pretty sweet, huh?
276
00:11:05,542 --> 00:11:07,978
Oh, and I know these are frowned
upon in your community,
277
00:11:08,044 --> 00:11:10,680
but check this out: zippers.
278
00:11:11,781 --> 00:11:13,650
You want to give it a whirl?
279
00:11:15,218 --> 00:11:17,721
I'm glad my first
time is with you.
280
00:11:19,155 --> 00:11:21,558
-Ah!
-Uh-huh.
281
00:11:23,627 --> 00:11:26,863
What the hell am I doing?
I drove here.
282
00:11:26,930 --> 00:11:29,566
♪ ♪
283
00:11:35,972 --> 00:11:37,540
(zipper opens)
284
00:11:37,641 --> 00:11:39,242
What are you doing?
285
00:11:39,276 --> 00:11:41,711
What do you mean? I'm going pee.
286
00:11:42,546 --> 00:11:44,247
What are you doing?
287
00:11:44,314 --> 00:11:46,883
Come on, man, it's basic
men's room etiquette.
288
00:11:46,950 --> 00:11:47,984
You need a buffer.
289
00:11:48,051 --> 00:11:50,086
It goes dude, urinal, dude.
290
00:11:50,186 --> 00:11:52,622
Respect the buffer.
291
00:11:52,689 --> 00:11:54,591
What are you hiding?
292
00:11:54,691 --> 00:11:55,992
Now I want to see.
293
00:11:56,059 --> 00:11:56,993
You know what?
294
00:11:57,060 --> 00:11:58,461
Forget it, now I can't go.
295
00:11:58,528 --> 00:12:00,964
You and I were just about
to get into a hot tub
296
00:12:01,064 --> 00:12:02,866
with 78-year-old twins,
297
00:12:02,933 --> 00:12:04,067
and now you shy?
298
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:05,569
(toilet flushes)
299
00:12:06,703 --> 00:12:08,471
-Crazy party, huh?
-Yeah.
300
00:12:08,538 --> 00:12:10,974
Can't believe it went
all the way to 6:30.
301
00:12:11,107 --> 00:12:12,075
CARTER:
Yeah.
302
00:12:12,142 --> 00:12:13,343
When Jeopardy! came on,
303
00:12:13,410 --> 00:12:15,011
they scattered like
the cops showed up.
304
00:12:15,078 --> 00:12:17,781
Yeah, you guys did
really well tonight.
305
00:12:17,914 --> 00:12:18,782
Little tip.
306
00:12:18,915 --> 00:12:21,952
When Gladys takes out
her teeth, it's game on.
307
00:12:22,052 --> 00:12:24,020
-Yikes.
-Hot.
308
00:12:24,087 --> 00:12:25,555
Man, you've got some moves.
309
00:12:25,622 --> 00:12:27,857
We saw you talking to
that beautiful redhead.
310
00:12:27,958 --> 00:12:30,260
Yeah, we got a date
tomorrow night.
311
00:12:30,327 --> 00:12:32,896
Well, good for you, man.
She seems really cool.
312
00:12:32,963 --> 00:12:34,831
Yeah, we were talking
to her earlier.
313
00:12:34,898 --> 00:12:36,433
Funny. Smart.
314
00:12:36,499 --> 00:12:38,034
I think she's
girlfriend material.
315
00:12:38,101 --> 00:12:39,469
Girlfriend?
316
00:12:39,536 --> 00:12:43,473
Nah, that's not the way
Rodrigo rolls.
317
00:12:46,209 --> 00:12:47,410
I don't know about that guy.
318
00:12:47,477 --> 00:12:50,647
He gives off a weird
1970s cop show vibe.
319
00:12:50,714 --> 00:12:52,215
Yeah, he's kind of a player.
320
00:12:52,282 --> 00:12:54,217
But Sheila's really into him.
321
00:12:54,284 --> 00:12:56,152
Yeah.
322
00:12:58,221 --> 00:13:00,290
I don't trust you.
323
00:13:00,957 --> 00:13:03,793
See? Now I know you
hiding something.
324
00:13:04,527 --> 00:13:06,229
♪ ♪
325
00:13:06,329 --> 00:13:08,265
Now, tell me the truth.
326
00:13:08,331 --> 00:13:09,566
Do you like big butts?
327
00:13:09,699 --> 00:13:11,268
And you cannot lie.
328
00:13:11,334 --> 00:13:13,503
Hey, shake what your mama
gave you.
329
00:13:13,603 --> 00:13:15,105
All right.
330
00:13:15,205 --> 00:13:19,409
Check it out! Kat in the hat!
331
00:13:19,509 --> 00:13:21,511
I told you, you should've
gotten one.
332
00:13:21,578 --> 00:13:24,281
Yeah, I feel real stupid
sitting here like this.
333
00:13:24,347 --> 00:13:27,851
I am so glad you talked me
into this.
334
00:13:27,918 --> 00:13:29,185
I feel so free.
335
00:13:29,252 --> 00:13:32,088
Zippers, snaps, back pockets?
336
00:13:32,188 --> 00:13:33,356
I'm out of control!
337
00:13:33,456 --> 00:13:35,458
I know! And it's so comfortable.
338
00:13:35,525 --> 00:13:38,228
Is this why Snoop Dogg
is always so chill?
339
00:13:38,328 --> 00:13:40,263
Yeah, it's the clothes.
340
00:13:40,330 --> 00:13:43,533
I think I'm ready to
do my first alcohol.
341
00:13:43,633 --> 00:13:44,768
-(gasps)
-Are you sure?
342
00:13:44,834 --> 00:13:46,703
Because that pinot don't play.
343
00:13:46,803 --> 00:13:48,338
Excuse me, Captain Buzzkill.
344
00:13:48,471 --> 00:13:50,440
Get a tracksuit, try to relax.
345
00:13:50,507 --> 00:13:54,678
If it's good enough for Christ,
it's good enough for me.
346
00:13:59,816 --> 00:14:00,984
Whoa.
347
00:14:01,051 --> 00:14:02,018
That is good.
348
00:14:02,085 --> 00:14:03,353
(laughing)
349
00:14:03,420 --> 00:14:06,489
Okay, I'm ready
to do my first cocaine.
350
00:14:06,556 --> 00:14:08,091
Oh, I don't think so.
351
00:14:08,191 --> 00:14:09,426
You had a root beer float
352
00:14:09,492 --> 00:14:11,228
and almost ran through
a plate glass window.
353
00:14:11,328 --> 00:14:13,029
You know, I think
it's very brave
354
00:14:13,096 --> 00:14:15,799
the way you're just
going for all of it.
355
00:14:15,865 --> 00:14:17,701
When I was trying
to change my life,
356
00:14:17,801 --> 00:14:19,936
I kept doubting myself.
357
00:14:20,003 --> 00:14:21,471
I'm really proud of you.
358
00:14:21,538 --> 00:14:25,475
So, I should just keep
going for it?
359
00:14:25,542 --> 00:14:27,577
Absolutely.
360
00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:32,015
Whoa, Gideon, stop.
361
00:14:32,082 --> 00:14:33,550
I have a boyfriend.
362
00:14:33,617 --> 00:14:34,784
You met him.
363
00:14:34,851 --> 00:14:37,721
Max? Tall, handsome, looks
like he could be an Avenger?
364
00:14:37,821 --> 00:14:40,056
His looks are not germane
to this conversation,
365
00:14:40,156 --> 00:14:41,758
but I just can't help myself.
366
00:14:41,825 --> 00:14:45,028
Oh, my gosh,
I am so embarrassed.
367
00:14:45,128 --> 00:14:46,730
No, it's totally okay.
368
00:14:46,796 --> 00:14:48,932
Yeah, everyone's done something
they regret while drinking.
369
00:14:49,065 --> 00:14:51,635
I mean, I interviewed
at a cat café.
370
00:14:51,701 --> 00:14:53,436
-Really?
-Yeah, really?
371
00:14:53,503 --> 00:14:54,604
You were drunk?
372
00:14:54,671 --> 00:14:56,306
You're a great guy.
373
00:14:56,339 --> 00:14:57,574
I'm sure you're gonna
meet the right woman
374
00:14:57,674 --> 00:14:59,242
sooner than you think.
375
00:15:00,410 --> 00:15:03,747
All right, simmer down,
Vanilla Ice.
376
00:15:03,813 --> 00:15:04,681
Oh, no.
377
00:15:04,814 --> 00:15:06,550
I've ruined everything.
378
00:15:06,616 --> 00:15:09,052
No, Gideon, it's really not
a big deal.
379
00:15:09,152 --> 00:15:10,053
Yeah, it's okay.
380
00:15:10,153 --> 00:15:11,321
I know what I look like.
381
00:15:11,421 --> 00:15:13,857
Of course you would
try to kiss me.
382
00:15:13,924 --> 00:15:15,525
Second.
383
00:15:16,927 --> 00:15:19,596
I have brought shame
to my family.
384
00:15:19,696 --> 00:15:21,698
I do not deserve this tracksuit.
385
00:15:24,267 --> 00:15:25,235
Oh, no.
386
00:15:25,335 --> 00:15:26,937
Gideon, no, you don't
have to go.
387
00:15:27,003 --> 00:15:28,638
It's all right.
388
00:15:28,672 --> 00:15:30,373
I want to be alone.
389
00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:32,342
Thank you for the threesome.
390
00:15:32,442 --> 00:15:34,544
♪ ♪
391
00:15:39,182 --> 00:15:40,617
Hey, have you heard from Gideon?
392
00:15:40,684 --> 00:15:44,120
No, but his page on
Farmers Only is blowing up.
393
00:15:44,187 --> 00:15:45,355
That butter-churning photo
394
00:15:45,455 --> 00:15:48,258
is like crack
to these farmer freaks.
395
00:15:48,325 --> 00:15:49,793
This is all my fault.
396
00:15:49,859 --> 00:15:51,394
I should've protected him.
397
00:15:51,494 --> 00:15:53,630
Instead, I pushed him
to take a bite out of life
398
00:15:53,697 --> 00:15:55,098
and then he choked on it.
399
00:15:55,198 --> 00:15:58,235
Holy crap, I'm Eve.
400
00:15:59,035 --> 00:16:01,805
Hi, I have a telegram
for Kat Silver.
401
00:16:01,905 --> 00:16:03,940
A telegram?
Is it from the front?
402
00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:05,909
Did we liberate Paris?
403
00:16:05,976 --> 00:16:09,412
(sighs) It's from Gideon.
404
00:16:09,446 --> 00:16:11,982
"Not worthy
of your friendship, stop.
405
00:16:12,082 --> 00:16:14,851
"Please accept
my resignation, stop.
406
00:16:14,951 --> 00:16:16,553
"I'm going back
to the only place
407
00:16:16,653 --> 00:16:17,954
"I've ever been happy, stop.
408
00:16:18,021 --> 00:16:20,457
"Are you charging me
by the word, stop.
409
00:16:20,523 --> 00:16:22,492
"I don't want this
to count, stop.
410
00:16:22,559 --> 00:16:24,094
Please stop, stop."
411
00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:26,529
Wait, the only place
he's ever been happy?
412
00:16:26,630 --> 00:16:28,465
There's only one place
that makes sense.
413
00:16:28,531 --> 00:16:29,966
The revolving door?
414
00:16:30,033 --> 00:16:32,269
Okay, there's two places.
415
00:16:32,369 --> 00:16:34,504
♪ ♪
416
00:16:34,604 --> 00:16:35,739
(knocking)
417
00:16:35,839 --> 00:16:38,141
(jazzy music playing)
418
00:16:40,911 --> 00:16:41,545
Oh, hello.
419
00:16:41,611 --> 00:16:43,213
What are you guys doing here?
420
00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:45,115
We wanted to catch you before
your date with Rodrigo.
421
00:16:45,215 --> 00:16:47,751
Oh, I can see you're getting
ready. Lovely robe, by the way.
422
00:16:47,817 --> 00:16:50,053
I stole mine
from a Best Western.
423
00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:51,221
I'm on the date.
424
00:16:51,288 --> 00:16:52,589
This is outfit number two.
425
00:16:52,656 --> 00:16:54,424
You don't want to be here
for number three.
426
00:16:54,491 --> 00:16:56,326
Look, we know you
really like him,
427
00:16:56,426 --> 00:17:00,163
but Rodrigo is more
of a Rodrig-ho.
428
00:17:01,298 --> 00:17:03,500
Ho?
429
00:17:04,334 --> 00:17:05,168
Hey, boys.
430
00:17:05,235 --> 00:17:07,203
We meet again, Rodrigo.
431
00:17:07,304 --> 00:17:09,539
-Holy crap, I did it!
-Hey, listen up.
432
00:17:09,639 --> 00:17:11,474
This woman is like
a second mother to us.
433
00:17:11,541 --> 00:17:13,810
You need to treat her
with the respect she deserves.
434
00:17:13,877 --> 00:17:15,378
What? Sheila and I
just enjoyed--
435
00:17:15,512 --> 00:17:16,746
Her name is Sheila!
436
00:17:16,813 --> 00:17:19,382
And you just said that.
437
00:17:19,482 --> 00:17:22,285
Rodrigo, can you
just give us a minute?
438
00:17:22,352 --> 00:17:24,254
Yes, of course. As for you two,
439
00:17:24,354 --> 00:17:27,090
it's weird you pee
next to each other.
440
00:17:27,157 --> 00:17:29,392
Right? You need a buffer!
441
00:17:29,459 --> 00:17:33,029
Okay. What do you think
you're doing?
442
00:17:33,096 --> 00:17:34,231
He just wants to sleep with you.
443
00:17:34,331 --> 00:17:36,099
He is not in it
for the long haul.
444
00:17:36,199 --> 00:17:38,034
We're in a retirement home.
445
00:17:38,101 --> 00:17:40,470
None of us are in it
for the long haul.
446
00:17:40,537 --> 00:17:43,340
We buy our toilet paper
one roll at a time.
447
00:17:43,406 --> 00:17:47,210
Look, Rodrigo is so good
in the sack,
448
00:17:47,277 --> 00:17:49,312
he's had six death bed requests.
449
00:17:49,446 --> 00:17:51,314
They call him "The Last Meal."
450
00:17:51,448 --> 00:17:56,019
Wow. I guess Max really
misread the situation.
451
00:17:57,020 --> 00:17:58,588
We just didn't want you
to get hurt.
452
00:17:58,688 --> 00:18:00,056
I know what I'm doing here.
453
00:18:00,156 --> 00:18:03,460
And at the moment, you're
stopping me from doing him.
454
00:18:04,227 --> 00:18:07,230
Okay then, slay on, Sheila.
455
00:18:07,297 --> 00:18:08,732
Yeah, good luck in there.
456
00:18:08,865 --> 00:18:12,035
Which is a really weird thing
to say to my girlfriend's mom.
457
00:18:13,503 --> 00:18:14,604
Max, Carter,
458
00:18:14,671 --> 00:18:17,140
it's really nice that
you're looking out for me.
459
00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:19,776
Well, that's what wingmen do.
460
00:18:24,014 --> 00:18:25,782
Oh, hey, guys.
461
00:18:25,849 --> 00:18:26,850
Hey, Mindy.
462
00:18:26,950 --> 00:18:29,085
Just picked up
some vodka and Ensure
463
00:18:29,185 --> 00:18:31,054
if you feel like a nightcap.
464
00:18:31,154 --> 00:18:32,789
Uh, actually...
465
00:18:32,856 --> 00:18:33,857
Let's party.
466
00:18:33,924 --> 00:18:35,725
All righty.
467
00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:39,262
She is a freak.
468
00:18:44,267 --> 00:18:45,535
♪ ♪
469
00:18:45,602 --> 00:18:46,369
Gideon?
470
00:18:46,436 --> 00:18:48,772
Ich hab... Jimmy Kimmel.
471
00:18:48,838 --> 00:18:51,308
GIDEON:
I'm not here.
472
00:18:51,408 --> 00:18:52,576
Oh, shoot.
473
00:18:52,642 --> 00:18:54,244
All right, I'm coming in.
474
00:18:54,311 --> 00:18:55,545
I hope you're decent.
475
00:18:55,612 --> 00:18:59,616
What am I saying?
He wears pants under his pants.
476
00:19:02,252 --> 00:19:04,454
Hey.
477
00:19:04,521 --> 00:19:06,389
How are you doing?
478
00:19:06,456 --> 00:19:07,857
Okay, I guess.
479
00:19:07,958 --> 00:19:09,793
I had lunch in
the free sample aisle.
480
00:19:09,859 --> 00:19:13,630
Are you familiar with the
miracle called the Hot Pocket?
481
00:19:13,730 --> 00:19:16,967
On the eighth day, the Lord
made the Hot Pocket,
482
00:19:17,067 --> 00:19:18,969
and yea, it was good.
483
00:19:19,603 --> 00:19:22,105
Look, I know you're
upset about last night,
484
00:19:22,239 --> 00:19:23,573
but you really don't have to be.
485
00:19:23,673 --> 00:19:26,076
I am sorry for what I did.
486
00:19:26,176 --> 00:19:30,046
I hereby forswear all
the temptations of this world.
487
00:19:30,113 --> 00:19:33,717
Except for the cheese balls,
I can't give them up.
488
00:19:33,783 --> 00:19:35,118
It's okay.
489
00:19:35,218 --> 00:19:38,188
I'm not mad, Randi's not mad.
490
00:19:39,222 --> 00:19:43,426
I don't fit in here any better
than I did at home.
491
00:19:44,327 --> 00:19:47,797
Do you remember the island
of misfit toys from Rudolph?
492
00:19:48,798 --> 00:19:50,066
No.
493
00:19:50,133 --> 00:19:52,769
Damn it, that would've been
a sweet timesaver.
494
00:19:52,836 --> 00:19:58,208
Well, the point is,
you know, we're all misfits.
495
00:19:58,341 --> 00:20:01,177
We all feel like we don't
fit in sometimes.
496
00:20:01,278 --> 00:20:04,681
Not you, you're so cool.
497
00:20:04,748 --> 00:20:06,116
(laughing):
Oh, Gideon.
498
00:20:06,216 --> 00:20:09,319
See? Two days in the modern
world and you get it.
499
00:20:09,386 --> 00:20:12,122
(sighs)
Look, there are gonna be times
500
00:20:12,222 --> 00:20:14,357
when you feel lost and alone.
501
00:20:14,457 --> 00:20:16,927
But just remember
you have people
502
00:20:16,993 --> 00:20:19,262
who are gonna help you
get through it.
503
00:20:19,329 --> 00:20:20,897
I do?
504
00:20:20,964 --> 00:20:22,198
Yeah.
505
00:20:22,265 --> 00:20:23,767
And I'm one of them.
506
00:20:23,833 --> 00:20:26,369
You're too sweet to me.
507
00:20:26,436 --> 00:20:28,972
No, I mean it.
508
00:20:29,039 --> 00:20:31,741
I want you to stay.
509
00:20:33,410 --> 00:20:34,678
Then I'll stay.
510
00:20:34,778 --> 00:20:37,113
Good.
511
00:20:38,615 --> 00:20:39,950
Oh, still a hard pass.
512
00:20:40,050 --> 00:20:43,119
Ooh, but I'm ahead of Randi
two to one.
513
00:20:44,254 --> 00:20:46,456
♪ ♪
514
00:20:55,298 --> 00:20:58,401
♪ I want the world
to feel the way I do, yeah ♪
515
00:20:58,468 --> 00:21:01,338
♪ Want the world
to feel the way I do ♪
516
00:21:01,438 --> 00:21:04,507
♪ I want the world
to feel the way I do, yeah ♪
517
00:21:04,641 --> 00:21:07,244
♪ Want the world
to feel the way I do ♪
518
00:21:07,344 --> 00:21:09,512
♪ ♪
519
00:21:14,484 --> 00:21:16,319
Captioning sponsored by
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520
00:21:16,386 --> 00:21:19,089
Captioned by
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36878
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