All language subtitles for According To Spencer (2001) - English

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GRANDMA: Every day
at the butcher's stand,

I would see all the
uncooked chickens hung up.

Big ones, little ones,
fat ones, thin ones
and everything in between.

I always thought everyone
would want a big fat one.

"Who's going to buy all
those other chickens?"
I would ask the butcher.

But sure enough,

when the sun went down,

all the chickens were gone.

See?

Every chicken has a buyer.

SPENCER: Last week,
my grandmother passed away.

Her funeral was like this
incredible celebration.

I mean, here was a woman
who did everything she
wanted with her life.

She married her high school
sweetheart,

she enjoyed a brief stint
as a professional singer,

she designed a clothing line.

She had two wonderful sons

and a grandson
that she lived for.

Her mantra was,
"Life is short.

"Make it as deep
and wide as possible."

Considering that,
my life is pretty shallow.

Here I was, living at
my parents' house,

and not following
in the footsteps
of my late grandmother.

I felt like I was just
endlessly drifting.

And kind of hoping that
one day my passion

would just come knocking
on the front door,

along with the
future Mrs. Gold.

All the great people
in history usually
had passion and love.

And that's what I want.

So I'm going to LA,

to find my chicken
and my passion.

Out of my parents' house,

and into my life.

(CRASHING)

Jesus fucking Christ!

(CLEARING THROAT)
Great. Great. Just great.

You stupid fucking
idiot, man!

Look, you rammed into me.
Excuse me.

I did not ram
into you, okay?

How could I drive into
a parking lot and ram
into somebody? Okay?

You know what?
I don't have time for this.

Because I have to be back
at work in, like, 15 minutes.

And I have to pay the
stupid parking tickets

or they'll put
a boot on my car.
Wait a minute, I think I...

Oh, my God,
I know you.

What?

You went to Parkman
Elementary School, right?

Oh, my God.
Oh, my God,
you're bleeding,

and I don't have
any tissues.
Am I?

I can take you
to a hospital.

Melora Boren, right?
What?

Spencer Gold.

This is my third
fucking accident.

You remember me?
You remember?

After school?

We went to
the same school.

Check. Who do I make
this check out to?

No one.

Your bumper is...
What, no, no, what, that?

Don't even...
Look, watch this.
(CELLPHONE RINGING)

You ready? Check this out.

Look. This right...
Huh?

Virtually taken
care of, right?

Look at that.
It's really fine.
Are you okay?

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'm good, I'm good.
Okay.

So, I'm going to go
and take this phone call.

It was nice seeing
you again, Steve.

Steve is good.

Steve is fine.
Steve is good.

SPENCER: Melora Boren.

My first crush.

I see you left the
credit section blank.

You, uh... You have
to fill it all out.

It's not like
I have bad credit.

I just don't have
any credit,

because I was living
with my parents,
you know?

No.

Right.

Good luck.

SPENCER: So you're saying
you have no vacancy?

(SIGHS) Ah, man.

What are you doing?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Oh.

I knocked and the,
um...

I'm here about
the room for rent.

Uh-huh.
Well, come in.

Okay.
And, uh...

Yeah.

Am I in frame?
Yep.

All right.

(EXHALING SLOWLY)

Tell us your name.

Spencer.
For hire?

(SNICKERING)

What?
Okay, don't worry about it.

First things first.

Spencer.

Tell us,

why do you think you
should live here?

Well...

Do you dabble
in acting, Spencer?

Are you wearing mascara?
Shut the fuck up, dude.

Look, guys,

I'm just looking
for a place to live.

I'm hardly ever home.

I could probably be
the easiest tenant
you've ever had.

How much
can you bench press?

What are your views
on pornography?

What does that have
to do with me renting
a room from you guys?

Just checking.

We can show you
Jack's old room.

Who's Jack?
He moved out.

You ready?
Yeah.

Yeah?
Yeah.

Ready to rock it?

Uh, yeah, yeah.

I like you.

Is this
the master bedroom?
Yeah, it is.

Um, does
the furniture stay?

Does that bother you?

No, I'm just asking.

If Jack moved out,
does the furniture stay?

Oh, yeah.
Yeah, right?
Oh, yeah.

Of course.
Of course.

Um, there's something,
though, that we should
probably let you know

before we decide to
give you the place.

Um, Ezra and myself are
entered in a little contest.

It's a
filmmaking contest.
Mmm-hmm.

We're filmmakers.
We're auteurs.

Oh! The cookies.
Right.

(CLEARING THROAT)

Success, my new friend.

Guaranteed
overnight success.

The thing of it is,
hundreds of filmmakers
are entered in this contest,

so time is obviously
of the essence.

If we win, we get money
to finish the film.

Right, we get an advance
of 50,000 green guys.

Right, distribution,
and maybe even
a three-picture deal.

EZRA: You are going
to be living with the
filmmakers of the decade.

That's true.

So, basically we're going
to need your room
for a couple of weeks.

Really?
Oh, smells good.

Don't they?
Listen, I don't want
you to worry, man,

because we're only
going to be using this
room during the day,

and, yeah, you won't even
know that we're there.

Yeah, that seems fine.

Great, so it's yours.

Okay.

Oh, hey,
do you have a job?

That's a good one.

That's actually a very
important question.

Right.
Yes.

I just got a job at a very
prestigious advertising firm.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

I like rollerball,
you know, you can count
on rollerball like Levi's.

It's old-school.
All I'm saying
is try the soft-tip.

It's fresh, you know.

We're going to run up
a dozen right now.
Okay.

Wanna know what?
They're gonna thank us
when it's all over.

You wanna know what else?
I'll tell you what we're
going to do.

I'm going to throw
in a Wite-Out.
Want to know why?

Why? Yeah.
Because we can.

They're in our house,
baby.

Why don't you
just fire me?

And maybe you can hire
that pre-teen that you
were smothering last night.

She's 20 Melora.
Besides, you broke up
with me.

What was I supposed to do?

Not show up at the Belmont,

which is our place,
with that blonde thing.

Hey, Namaste,
my man.

The new guy.

So listen, you take all
the packages from the
mother cart, right?

Then you transfer these
little bitches into here.

And then you drop them
off at all the different
assistants' desks.

You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.

Hey, Tommy,
get a new suit, buddy.

Go fuck yourself.

The guy got caught jerking
off in the copy room.

Why don't you come over
tonight, and I'll order in

and we can work this out?
No.

Hey, sweet tits.

Eat me.

She loves me.

MAN: Rona, get Gloria Wexler
on the line,

and if she's not there,
call her every 10 minutes.
Just get her.

That's Mr. Cohen.

President, CEO, great guy.

No more working it out.
That's what we say
every single time.

But we do work it out,
that's what we're so good at.

I want us to be good
at the everyday stuff.

This is where all
the big boys are, okay.

Right there, this is where
you go when you get that
big promotion in the sky.

All right? I've been
here six years.

All right, my time has come.
This is my year.

You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.

(CELLPHONE RINGING)
Hold on a sec.

I'm sorry, I'm giving you
everything that I can.

Well, 70%
isn't good enough.

I don't give
anyone that much.

Well, that's it.

Dude, what are you doing?
That girl.

No I got it. Listen, listen,
that's Craig Fert, okay.

He's the number two
guy under Mr. Cohen.

(CELLPHONE RINGING)
Hold on.

MELORA: I know.
I know for sure,
for sure, that's it.

That's the way shit
goes down in here, bro.

(MELORA SOBBING)

Are you okay?

(CONTINUES SOBBING)

Who's there?

Spencer Gold.

From Parkman
Elementary School.

Uh, yesterday
you rammed into my
car in the parking lot...

Are you crazy?

Did you follow me here?

No.
Look,

I offered to write
you a check.

No, no, no,
no, no. I...

I work here.

Oh, wow.

That's really...
That's... That's great.

Another coincidence.

Can I help you?

Well, actually
I thought that I...

I wanted to help you.
You seemed like you
were upset and...

I'm fine, but thank you
for your concern.

You don't seem fine.
I am fine.

All right.
Okay.

All right.

You know, you're a guy,
right? Come here.
Yeah.

Well, actually,
I do have a question.

What is it that draws men
to these girls with
perfectly straight hair

and the flawless skin,
live in Brentwood and
they take Pilates

and they have a million
and one fucking issues!

What is it that
draws men to them?

Did you say flawless skin?

Uh, I'm sorry, uh...

I think men like
to find solutions

and fix things
that are broken.
Oh, God.

Oh, my God, I get it.

I'm too normal.

There isn't enough to fix.

He needs some
lame sugar-free,
ice-blended chick,

somebody who he can
save or something.

Somebody with
daddy issues, right?

Come on, Melora, he's got to
be a pretty big fucking idiot
to choose anyone over you.

Wow.

Really?

Yeah.

But that's
just the thing.

I wish that
he were an idiot.

But he's not.

He's smart.

And he's charming.

And he's confident,
and he has this...

He has this smell.

Oh, God I can't believe I'm
telling you all this stuff.

But I've become
this girl that I hate

around him, I become
this insecure girl.

Melora...
Oh, my God.

He's just not
in love with me.

Because if he were
in love with me,

then he'd be doing
all these things that
I need him to do.

(SNIFFLING)

If you don't like the
person that you are when
you are with him,

then stay away from him.

(SIGHS) Easier
said than done.

How do I look?

Exactly like you did
in the fourth grade.

What?
Short and scrawny?

No, no.

Beautiful.

Okay.

I'm going to go out there,

and I'm going to act
totally indifferent

and unaffected.

Great.

(STAMMERING)
Great. You do that.

You do that.

Thank you.

Glad I could help.

Just consider it a gift
from the company, I mean,

my mom spent two months
at the La Jolla fat camp.
It was great.

Ow! Oh!

Jesus!

This just in.
You'll love it. Thank you.

Thanks.
Is this going to make me cry?

It might.
Good.

Hey. (WHISTLING)

You.

You work in the
mailroom, right?

Yes, I am. Uh, I do.

(MOCK STAMMERING)
Uh, yes.

Yeah, are you sure?

Yes, I'm sure.
Yes!

Good, good.

'Cause I need a couple
dubs made of this.
Can you do that for me?

Um, actually,
Do you mind?

they haven't gone over that
with me yet, that area, so...
Hmm-mmm.

I'm sorry, it's my first
day here. I'm a little...

You know what?
I can bring this
down there,

and I can make sure
that you get your copies.

That's what I like to hear.

Nice. What's your name?
Uh, Spencer.

Spencer, carry on.

Okay.

Can you shut the door?

Can you shut the door?
Okay.

You need to let
the machines warm up

before you start
working them.

You should leave about
a 10 second leader before

you dub in the
Cohen & Cohen logo,

and then I usually like to
leave about five seconds
after that.

Right.
Sounds simple enough.

These are your dubbers,
these are your masters.

Uh, you put that in here.

And, um...
(MACHINE WHIRRING)

Sounds real simple.
Don't touch that.

Okay. Okay, no.
Don't touch that.

Uh...

That's your master
right there.
Yeah. Yeah, so...

Okay.

FEMALE ANNOUNCER: In life,

when you need love,

reach for life.

Reach for Quench.

SPENCER: That's
the Quench campaign?

Super Quench.

Super Quench?
That doesn't even...

Quench life.
That doesn't make sense.

I don't get it.

Well, you don't
need to get it.

Hey, Spence, listen,
I'm going to join some
friends over at Marmont.

You want to join me?

Um, no, I'm actually
gonna head home.
You sure?

I'm all right, yeah.
Thanks.
Okay.

Oh, hey, man.

I'm out.

Hey, uh, since you're still
here, can you do me a favor?

Uh...

Can you just make,
uh, 20 copies of this,

collate and bind
these for my 10:00 a.m.
with Super Quench?

Beautiful.
Thanks, buddy.
You rock.

Hey.

Good night, Spencer.

I'm very glad that
you work here.

Night.

What do you do
between acting gigs?

Um, well, we both cocktail
at the Max Angus to
sublimate our income.

Oh, nice. Hmm-mm.
Tasty.

Um, and, uh, I don't know,
maybe you should give us
a list of your acting credits.

Oh, okay, so, um, we were
in Ass Rammers
in 1993

and Big Tits for Timmy
last year.

That's right, you were
saying earlier...
I had said you look...

She looked familiar,
and now...

That's right. Yeah.
Tell them about Spring Pussy.

Oh, right.
Lisa was in Spring Pussy.

She was the body double
for the lead actress.

Right, um, the leading lady
got a yeast infection the
night before the shoot began,

and I jumped in without
any time to prepare.

No.
No, I did.

Wow.
She was awesome.

Thank you.

Friends of yours?

Hey, buddy. Yeah, you know,
we're just auditioning some
girls for our film.

That's Wendy and Lisa.

Hi.

If you could fucking believe
that. Pretty amazing, huh?

Completely.

Completely.

All right, ladies,
where were we?

Um, all right, why don't
we get down to brass tacks?

How do you feel about
getting gang banged in
front of a crew of five?

Fine.
What about all three holes?

I have no problem with that.
I'm fine.

Toys?

We're trying to keep
our options open.

That's cool.
Great.

Yeah.
Terrific.

Barnyard fetish?
Jesus Christ.

Dude, is that legal?

I don't know, they said
we can defer their pay.

(WHISPERING)

I'm so excited.

They've worked.

Dude, they're pros.

Um, we've prepared a scene
from Beaches
for you.

Yeah, you know what?
That's not going
to be necessary.

Both Ezra and
myself feel that

you two have the credentials
to back up your talent.

Are you fucking kidding?
Oh, my God.

This is awesome.
Oh, my God.

We'll be in touch.
Great.

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

Melora?

Melora?

(SHRIEKING)

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I didn't see that you
had your, uh, headphones on.

No, no, no, no.

Hey, I've got it.

(STAMMERING)
Um, I was... I just came to
see how you were doing.

Oh, I'm fine.

Okay, you didn't seem...
You seemed kind of upset.

Are you sure?
Ah, you know.

Just having trouble shaking
that heart ripped out of
my body feeling.

But thank you so much
for your concern.

Oh, uh, Steve.

Spencer.
Spencer, sorry.

Can you get me that purple
"New Business" folder?

Yeah.

Here you go. Yeah.
Oh, thank you.

Um...

So, uh, I was thinking...

I was thinking
maybe if you have
some free time

in the future,
at some point, uh,

perhaps we could, uh...
Hmm.

Don't. Okay?
Oh, God.

Just please don't.

Why are you so sweet?

Just because I'm single,
it does not mean that I
want to go out on a date.

No, no, I'm not...
No, no, no, no.

I'm not asking you out.
I'm not asking you out.

That's so funny that you...
That you thought that.

I'm sorry.
Just, like, a cup of coffee.

Maybe a drink or...

Did we just not have
a moment, in the bathroom?
(GROANS)

What the fuck is
going on in here?
(CLEARING THROAT)

I'm just kidding, buddy.

(SPENCER
LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)

That is the one thing you
gotta learn at this company,
is to have a sense of humor.

Loosen up a little bit.
Okay.

This message was
brought to you by Craiger.

(STAMMERING) So, I was
thinking maybe we should
go to the dog park or...

How do you know
I have a dog?

You're
covered in dog hair.
I just assumed.

Hmm.

All right, just
a friendly thing.

Yeah, yeah.

And not a "thing" thing.
Okay.

And I don't want to go
to the dog park

because I don't think
the dogs should be involved.

Fine. Fine.

But I will do food.

Perfect.

Uh, how about tonight?

All righty then.

Great. Okay.

I think we're lit.

Nick, you ready, baby?

I think what we're
gonna do is we're gonna just
do a little prep, and then...

All right, stop, stop.

Stop it! That's it.

That's it. I'm done.

I'm out of here.
All right?

I am out of here.

Nick, what's the problem?

Hey, hey, hey!
Whoa! Oh!

Are you all right?
I'm okay. I'm okay.

What are you doing?
I gotta go teach a spin class.

But dude, we haven't even
shot a frame of film.

That's right, I've been
sitting around here for
three hours.

Three hours!

It hasn't been
a full three. Oh.

You guys haven't
done anything.

Well, I was...
I quit.

Lighting.
I'm done.

I'm done.

You're yellow,
is what you are,
you scoundrel!

Guys, guys.

You tell me you're gonna
be done by the time I'm home,

and I'm home and...
Hey, listen. Don't...

Uh...

(WHISPERING)

Spencer, I'm sorry.
Uh...

We ran over a bit.

Listen, we have
another problem. Um...

You see, we have no...
We have no film in the can.

Our lead actor just
walked out and, uh...

You know, this film
is due in a week.

And?

And we don't win
the contest, obviously.

We need you in our movie.

Spencer, Spencer.
(LAUGHING)

But you are perfect.
You are.

You're... Look at you.

You're a ripped man
who should be in film.

No, no.

No way. I'm sorry.
What do you want?

We're not going to show
anything below the waist.

It's strictly your chest.
That's all.

You want me to get naked?

Well...
You guys are crazy.

No. It's just a
couple of scenes, man.

I swear. You're not
even gonna have to
touch these girls.

Yeah, they'll be looking to
make out with each other.

It's true.
Really?

With each other?

Sit, sit.
I want you to sit.

I want you
to lie down.
Right.

Close your eyes, okay?

All right. I want you to
imagine a film, all right,

so vibrant

that the colors
literally explode off
the screen in reds,

yellows, fuchsias.

All right.
I mean, there's...
There's a heat.

Okay, there's a heat that
you can actually experience
from the audience.

All right.
I mean, this is like

Kieslowski's three
color trilogy meets
Apocalypse Now.

You understand?

(SPRAYING)

So...

So, that's your movie.

Film. Yes.

It's a porno, man.
It's a porno, man.

It's not a porno.
It's not a porno.

All right, it's an art film.
Didn't you see Caligula,
for Christ's sake?

All right, listen.
Listen.

You can live here,
one month free,
no rent.

No rent?
Two months.

You know what?
Maybe you should leave.

Yeah, maybe I should.
Sit.

Two months free,
no rent.

And we get your
room an extra week.

All I have to do
is show my chest?

Fuck you, for two months,
we get your ass.

(INTERCOM DIALING)

MELORA: Spencer?

Yeah.
I'm in 4D.

And don't mind Arthur.
Okay.

(DOOR BUZZING)

(SIGHS)

Oh, hey, hey Arthur.

Hey, buddy.
Hey, how are ya?

How are ya? Hey, okay, okay.
Whoa, hey, whoa, okay!

I'll be out in a second.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.

He's, uh...
He seems inquisitive.

Oh, don't worry about him,
he doesn't bite hard.

Hey. I'm sorry.
Hi.

Can you, uh,
do this up for me?
Yeah.

Thank you.

Okay.

There you go.
Thank you.

You look, uh...

You look...

Wow.

You look wow.

Shut up. Let's go.

(STAMMERING)
So I thought we'd go to
this little Italian place.

Okay.
Okay.

Okay.

Your, uh, car won't start?

Oh, no, no, it just
takes a second.

Hey, why don't we take my
car because we don't have
to jump-start it?

No, no, no, no, 'cause
this is just gonna...

Here, watch.
Here we go. Ready?

Come on. Whoo!
(ENGINE STARTING)

Yeah, yeah, oh!
(SHRIEKING)

There, see?

No problem.

Uh, so I saw those
plays on your desk.

You write?
Yeah, I write.

(ENGINE SPUTTERING)

That's, uh...
You know what?

Let's just maybe back
away from the car.

Don't I feel like a schmuck.

No, no, no.
You know what?

This wouldn't have happened
if I hadn't hit your car.

FELDY: Melora?
Yeah.

(STAMMERING)
Who is more attractive?
Is this a trick question?

No.

No.
Okay.

Uh, you sort of...

You resemble
my Uncle Harvey.

Me? Ah!
Yeah.

That's one for me.

(LAUGHING)

She said Uncle Harvey, man.
You know what I mean?

It doesn't count.

If we're going to play
that way, then I think
it's two for you.

Because the chick
at the Blockbuster

said something earlier
about you resembling a...

What was that? Turnip?
No, she said you look
like a mushroom.

And I can't say that
I disagree with her.

EZRA: Take it back.

I ain't taking shit
back. Hey!
Take it back!

Be cool, bitch!

Take that back!

(HONKING)

Okay.

It's right here.
Right up here.
You can just pull over.

Thanks, guys.

Watch the shoulder.
Yeah.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I have to go pee.
Okay.

Grandma, hi.

I made you
my famous chicken.

They were the last ones.

I felt bad for them,
so I bought them.

We ordered steak, Grandma.
We don't want chicken.

Honey, you look tense.

I'm on a date.

AUTOMATED VOICE: You have
no messages at this time.

Ask the waiter
for two martinis.

You're doing wonderful.

Um, can we get
two martinis here?

Come here.

(LINE RINGING)

It's the Craiger.
Leave a message.

Um, could we get...
Could we get
two more of these?

Certainly, sir. Eh?

Hey, this is Craiger.
You know what to do at the...

I expected them
to mess up the order,
but a whole other animal.

Ready? Cheers.
Cheers.

To?
To me getting one of those.

Okay. One.

Can we get two more?

(LAUGHING)

Let's get some more.

Oh, two more.
Two more martinis,
uh, quickly.

Thank you.

Actually, I came up
with a really good idea

for a commercial for
the Quench campaign.
Really?

Yeah, I think I...
Your check.

Thank you. Thank you.

I think it's a good idea.

No. No. No.

Put that away, this is...
I invited you to dinner.

This is completely
my treat, okay?

Thank you.

Shit.
What?

Um, I don't have my wallet.

Are you sure?

Yeah, um...

I had it when I was in
Feldy and Ezra's car.

I had my keys
and my wallet.
It must have...

It must have fallen out
in their car or...

I have my phone.

Yeah, yeah.
(CLICKS TONGUE)

Perfect.

I know I had it
in the car.
(LINE RINGING)

FELDY: Hi.
We're out getting butter.

Please leave a message.
(BEEPS)

Uh, hey, guys,
you there?
Is it a message?

Um, it's Spencer.

Give me a call as soon
as you get this, okay?

Bye. No, no.
I can't let you pay.

I can't.

All right, I'm paying
you back first thing
tomorrow morning.

We should have
taken my car.
I'm sorry. I'm really...

I'll make this up
to you, okay?

I never should have
agreed to go out with you.

Wow.

Okay, Melora, hey,
don't hold back
or anything, really.

I'm sorry, Spencer,
I'm just a little
pissed off right now.

None of this would have
happened if you hadn't
rear-ended my car.

I hate that.

Hate what?

"Oh, it's okay.
It's totally fine.

"I was going to get
a new car anyway."

I hate when people
bring up how they feel
in later conversations.

That is so lame.

Lame? Lame?

Look, "lame" is lame, okay?

No.

Lame is you leaving your
wallet in your friend's car.

I fucked up!

I'm sorry! What do you
want me to do about it?

I want to go home,
Spencer, now.

Are you coming?
I don't feel real good.

Look, Spencer, if I hurt
your feelings, grow up.

Um...

I think...

I think I'm...
Spencer?

(SPENCER GAGGING)

I think I had one
too many martinis.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to
say all those things.

I was just angry.

No.

I am sorry. We should
have just taken your car.

You're absolutely right.

I didn't know you
could get that mad.

What do you mean?

I didn't know
you had it in you.

Um...

I'm not such a nice guy,

all the time.

(LAUGHING)

Well, that only
took three hours.

You can crash at my
place considering that
we have to be up soon.

Thanks.

Uh, I owe you.

You have no idea.
(CHUCKLES)

Spencer, I was
thinking about when...

Shh.

SPENCER: We slept together.

GRANDMA: "Slept together"
slept together?

SPENCER: Yes.

I wish we did.

She snores.

It's so cute.

When your grandfather
snored, I'd kick him.

Did I ever tell you
how we met?

Yeah, you were
at Coney Island.

I was at the beach
with my family and he
was with his friends.

He came up to me and
asked my parents if he
could take me on a walk.

We ended up spending
the day together,

all the months
after that, and eventually

the rest of our lives.

This is the best morning.

I gotta go to work.

(CHATTERING)

CRAIG: Melora.

I need to speak
to you for a minute.

What's going on
with you, baby?

What do you mean, honey?

I called you last night.

Well, I wasn't
home obviously.

Where were you?
I went out.

Come on, you've
been late all week.
What's going on with you?

What, are you checking
up on me now?

No.

Fine. I'm seeing someone.

Oh.

Well, this is news.

Good for you.
Who's the lucky guy?

Just this guy.

Do I know him?

I doubt it.

Who is he?

Does it matter?

No.

It doesn't really matter.

I really want to
work this out.

Really?

Why?

I don't know. I thought
we were having fun.

That's the problem.

Peter?

Hey.
Hey. Hey.

So you want to
make it up to me?

Yeah.

How about tonight?

Great. Uh...

My mom will pick
us up at 7:00.

No.

I will pick you up
at 8:00.

I was kidding
about the...

(KNOCKING)

Come in.

Excuse me, Craig.

Oh, hey, guy.
Spencer.

Yeah, Spencer,
what can I do you for?

Um, actually, I wanted
to talk to you about the
Super Quench campaign.

Oh, yeah, thanks
for those copies.

Sure, sure, sure,
but, um,

I had some ideas
that I thought might
be able to help.

Great.

Why don't you memo me,
get a copy to my assistant

and then get
yourself a promotion,
and then we can talk.

I'm just kidding, dude.

But seriously,
in the meantime, you know
what you can do for me?

Do you want to make a little
extra overtime tonight?

I can't tonight.

I can't.

You got a hot date?

What?

It's all right.
Don't worry about it.

It's no big deal.

Okay, thank you.

Mr. Cohen.

Right to the source.

You know they found
30 pounds of shit
in John Wayne's colon?

I know. I'm telling you, Lis,
the key to weight loss is
through your asshole.

(CRACKING)
No, I can't go.

Because we're about to
lose this huge campaign
with Super Quench.

Hi, I have a package
for Mr. Cohen.
Just put it there, please.

I'm supposed to give
it to him directly.

Well, I'm telling
you not to.

Hold on.

Is Mr. Cohen in right now?

Yes.

May I see him?

No.

Uh, are you serious?

No, I'm kidding.

Really?
No.

Let me just be
honest with you.

I've got some very
promising ideas

that I think could help
Mr. Cohen with the Super
Quench campaign.

Well, I'll make sure
he gets the message.

Hi.

You're not going to give him
that message, are you?

No.

Hi. Right.

So my guy, actually,
what he'll do is

there's this tube that
just has clear water come
shooting out of it.

We let that go on.
We're gonna let that cook,
the water is getting happy.

See, you just kind of come
over here and just bam!

Just a little bam like that.

What did he just put
in there with the onions?

Garlic.

That wasn't garlic.

EZRA: Feldon, it was garlic.

FELDY: Just think about it.

You're sauteing onions
for a white wine sauce.

You know, would you
put garlic in there?

Would you?

Yes. Of course.
Yes, of course you would.

Hello?

Hi. Hi.

Hey.

Wow.

You know when you know someone
for a while and you finally
see where they live,

they become like
a totally different person.

Whoa, whose
knitting project?

FELDY: Mine.

It's mine.

Yeah. Julia Roberts
joined a knitting group.

Melora, you remember
my roommate, Feldy.

Yes.
Ezra as well.

Hey.

Hi.
Of course.

It's nice.

So, uh, you two
need a ride?

(CHUCKLING)

Good one.
(BOTH LAUGHING)

They... Yeah.

Uh, let's go.

I know of the perfect place.

Okay.

Good night.

Break her heart for me.

Use a dental dam, guys.

Thanks to you, I actually
look forward to working
in a mailroom.

Don't say that.

What would you do if we
didn't work together?

I'd quit.

No, you wouldn't quit.

No, I wouldn't quit.

Guess I just don't
particularly

enjoy working in
a mailroom. Um...

How's your writing going?

It's not.

Jennifer, two apple
martinis, please.

What?
MELORA: (GASPING) It's...

It's nothing. It's nothing.
It's nothing at all.

(STAMMERING)
It's Craig.

Wow.

Wow.

What a coincidence.
Uh...

(CLEARS THROAT)

What were you just saying?
It's so funny because

he's always saying how
he hates fake breasts.

Well, he seems to
have gotten over
that prejudice.

Why don't we just get
out of here, okay?

Can I ask you a question?
I look good, don't I?

Yeah, you look great.
Let's go.

No, no, no,
hang on.

I do look good.
That's so funny.
You know what?

I am going to go over
and say hello.

I mean, we're having
a good time,

and he's, you know,
having an okay time.

And it's so not
a big deal.

You don't want to
just wait until we see him
at work tomorrow?

No. No. Come on.

(GASPS AND YELLS)

(WHISTLING)

(PEOPLE WHISPERING)

(MELORA SOBBING)

I can't believe it.

I can't believe that
he came here with
that sleazy girl.

He was just with me.

And that's who
he chooses to be with.
It's an insult to me.

Did you know that
he was going to be there?

I feel nauseous.

You knew. You knew
he was going to be
there, didn't you?

No, Spencer.

What?

No, I didn't, Spencer.
Fine.

(SIGHS)

Can we...
Should we...

Go ahead. No, go ahead.
Go ahead. No, you go ahead.

What do you want
to do now?
I don't know.

Do you want
to go somewhere?

I don't know. No.

Me neither.

Spencer, do you mind
if I just dropped you
off at your house?

I don't feel that well.

Are you really sick?

No. Yes.

No.

I just want to go home.

Okay.

I'm so sorry.

EZRA: Will she be
nude at this point?

Yes absolutely, and that's
when Spencer comes in,

and says his lines
if he ever gets here.

Uh, and did you give
them the rewrite?

Because what I'm thinking
is that maybe

Lisa should be the one
who's completely nude,

because of the problem
we're having with
Wendy's boobs.

I was thinking
the exact same thing.
You're absolutely right.

How's the light in here?
It's beautiful. It's stunning.

WENDY: Oh, my God,
the set looks great.

Oh, hey.
How are you?
Hi.

We're ready.

Great. Yeah,
you look terrific.

Okay, yeah, well, um,
let's get started.

Okay.
Okay.

(MUFFLED SQUEAL)

Um...

Great, okay.
So, um...

We'll set the positions,
right? That's right.

Set the skin tone.
Set her position.
Okay.

Yes, just hold on
to that and then
you just kind of...

WENDY: Oh, okay.

Nice job.

So, you guys are really
just bracing yourselves
for dear life.

You're going to use
your leg to brace yourself.
Okay.

Are we scared?

Oh, you're scared.
You're scared.

Not so scared that
you want to close
your legs though,

because you want
to cling.

Okay. Kind of like
I'm holding it down?
Right.

Where the hell
have you been?

What are you talking about,
man? It's 9:30.

I'm two hours early.
Just give me
a fucking second.

Right, we did say
11:00 p.m. Yeah.

You did!
Okay, go change your clothes.

Jesus.

Okay, well, I guess in
the meantime, we'll try
a little dry run here.

Um...
All right. Rehearsing.

Great.
Um, so let's, uh...

Let's start it up here.

Uh, why don't you throw me
a line here, sweetie?
Okay.

Come on, hurry up!

No, um...

I should have known.

I feel like an ass.

She is clearly
not over him yet.

Maybe not.

Come on, hurry up.
Throw me...

Hose. Right.
That's the word
we're groping for here.

The line is, "Hurry up,
get out your hose."

Get out...
Your hose. Get out your hose.

That's all right.
It's just a rehearsal.
There's no need for...

No, no, no.

I'm sorry. I don't know,
I can do better.

It's just I think
I'm getting my period
or something.

I just don't feel right.
Wow. Ew. Um...

Well, it's all right.
I'm sorry.

(SOBBING)
It's really just, uh...

I'm sorry.
It's okay. No, it's okay.

Oh. Oh!

That's a good girl.
No, you just

let Feldy just touch
and hold.

Just give you
a good hug.
Lisa.

(LISA CONTINUES SOBBING)

I guess she's starting
her period.
Yeah.

I'm just gonna go
back to her apartment
and talk to her.

I'm going to go back.
I got to get my retainer
anyway, so...

You're still wearing
your retainer?

Yeah, nobody ever
told me to stop.

Stop.

You got a fluffer in there,
buddy? Let's shake a leg.

My nuts ache.
Yeah, mine too.

Is he in frame?

Yes.

Don't just say "yes,"
all right?

(CAMERA LENS WHIRRING)

(WHISPERS) And...

(YELLS) Action!

I got a call down at...
Cut.

You don't ever cut.
You're on scene.
I'm sorry.

Keep it rolling.
Hold on, I just got to, uh.

Okay, clear.

SPENCER: Down at the station.
Down at the station?

FELDY: Ready?
Yeah.

FELDY: Set.

And action!

I got a call down
at the station.

Uh, I don't see any fire.

You don't smell smoke?
(SNIFFS)

I do.

No. Uh, where's the fire?
In my pants.

Hurry, get out
your hose!

Yeah, put out
my fire.

Let me wet her
down for you.

(MOANING)

WENDY: That is so hot.

(MOANING)
Oh, yes!

(SPANKING)
WENDY: Oh!

Hey, Spencer?

Spencer?

(MOANING CONTINUES)
Spencer?

Huh?

Hey, there you are.
Hi. Hi.

Um, you left this
at my house

and I wanted
to give it to you.
Thanks.

Okay.

Why are you dressed
like a fireman?

(MOANING CONTINUES)

What's...

That's just my...
That's my roommates.

Okay.
EZRA: Come on, slap it.

(LAUGHS)

You guys are funny,
real funny in there.

They're just funny.
So, um...

Arthur wanted me
to ask you if you wanted
to have a walk.

Really? Okay,
come on. Let's go.
Yeah. No, no, no.

No, no, no.
That's not all.

(MOANING CONTINUES)

What are they doing?
Uh, they are...

Oh, my God. What are
they doing in there?

LISA: Spencer,
what are you doing?

Spencer, we agreed
to a threesome.
We're waiting for you.

Yeah, what...

What are you doing?

This is not what
it looks like at all.

Dude, what are you doing?
Let's rock it.
(SIGHS)

(CHUCKLES)
Oh, my God.

This is like a really,
really, really bad nightmare.
SPENCER: No, Melora!

Melora. Melora,
wait, wait, wait, wait.

She'd be good.
We should have filmed that.

Melora!
No, I'm leaving.

You don't understand.
I'm not involved.

(DOOR SLAMS SHUT)

Who... Who was that girl?

Uh, is everything cool?
Because we gotta nail
this one now.

Fuck!

Well, see, we were,
and then...

You are all a bunch
of fuck-ups!

Fucked in the head,
perverted fuck-ups!

I can't believe that I even
let you talk me into this.

Want me to talk to her?
No!

No! I don't want you
going near her or me!

Do you realize
what just happened?

Do you even realize
what just happened?

She thinks that we're
a bunch of freaks now!
Why?

(SIGHS)
You all right, bro?

Don't talk to me!

Don't talk to me!

Uh...
What a diva, huh?

(LAUGHTER)

Okay, all right.
I'll tell you what.

We got to shake it off.
Okay.

I do not want this
to phase you guys.

Okay. Thank you.

You're doing a
fabulous job, okay?

Do a little Tantric
breathing, all right.
Open up, just...

(EXCLAIMING)

Okay. All right.
That helped.

Have a seat down in
the greenroom, and we'll
get started again.

Where's that?
Just pick a room, Ezra.

Mmm-hmm, ladies.
Okay? All right.

(SLAPPING)
(SQUEALING)

(GROWLING)

Buddy, you okay?
SPENCER: (YELLS) No!

He's good, he's fine.

MELORA: Spencer?

Oh, my God.

Hi. Hi.

God.

What are you doing here?
Why are you here?
Um...

Let me explain
about today.
No, no. I've seen enough.

No, you don't understand.
You don't...

My roommates are sick, okay?

They're making a film or
a documentary of some sort
for this competition

and I really needed
the free rent, so I
agreed to be the fireman.

In a porno?

Yeah, you could...

It's an art film,

and I know it sounds sketchy,
but I didn't touch a soul,
okay?

Not all actors in pornos
have to do the sex stuff.

All actors in pornos
do sex stuff, okay?

Not this one, okay?

All I had to do
was show my ass.

How do you know so much
about this, anyway?

Why are you here?

Honestly, I was looking
for something.

Oh, yeah?
What did you lose?

My retainer.
I dropped it last time
I was here, I think.

You wear a retainer?
Yeah.

I was pretty much
done with it.
Hmm.

Uh, why did you come
to my house today?

You smoke?

Sometimes.

Uh, I came to
your house today

because I wanted to say,

um,

that we should
just be friends.

We are friends.

Yeah.

I know.

Yeah, so...

So what, then?

(CELLPHONE RINGING)

So that's it.

Hello?

Yeah, um, I will be
at your house soon, okay?

Okay. Bye.

Who's that?

Craig?

Yeah.

He's got to be
a pretty incredible guy,

to deserve someone
like you, Melora.

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

FELDY: Mr. Mopey?

Dude, your boss called,
Jason, for, like,
the sixth time.

Dude, it's been three days.

You should go to work.

Why? I've got
two months' free rent.

Huh? What?
No, not anymore you don't.

You didn't finish
the film, dude.
We're fucked, okay?

The deadline
is in four days.

We have...
We have nothing.

Yeah, dude, uh,
this was our ticket.

FELDY: Okay.

What's the deal?

Okay, see you later,
buddy. That's it.
That's it.

That's it, okay?

Well, you take it easy.

You take care.
You take care
of yourself.

Don't be so stupid.

Don't be so stupid.

(CURTAINS SLIDING)

All right, enough already.
I gave you three days
to be a schlep.

Wake up.

Don't you have any other
relatives you can visit?

Your grandfather once
told me this story.

Grandma, I'm not in the mood
for one of your stories right
now. I'm sorry.

Really? Hmm.

Here's one for you.

It's about a boy who
never finished anything.

He would just dabble
with projects,

and leave them in the closet
to collect dust.

He quit Little League
when he 11 because he was
afraid he'd never get a hit.

He was afraid the kids
would think he wasn't
a real baseball player.

He would quit the things
he loved, before he even
gave them a chance.

It's a funny thing.

You have to step up to
the plate before you can
be a baseball player.

I love you, sweetheart.

You know, I feel like
I'm a team player,
and I'm...

You know, and I'm there
for the company 100%.
I got it.

And, you know, and, um,

(STAMMERING) I really believe
in my job and I really
believe in the company.

Yeah.
So, you know, I was just...

You know, I mean, there
was just a little concern.

No, yeah.
You can't be fired, Louis.

You work for free.

Oh!

Okay.

Well, well, well.
Look who's here.
Spencer.

Can I see you
in my office?

Yeah, sure.
Yeah? Come on.

Have a seat over there.
Go on.

(CHUCKLES)

I like you.
I like you.

You remind me of myself
when I was younger.

Hard-working, ambitious,
delusional.

But I gotta
tell you straight.

You know what I mean?
That's who I am.

I gotta be
straight up with you.

We're probably going to lose
the Super Quench campaign.

And they're going to make
cutbacks, you know,

and you've been
gone for three days,

and you have
no seniority, so...

Uh, you know,
you're fired.

Yeah.

Hey!

Oh, hey.

What's going on?

I heard about the
Super Quench campaign.

Yeah.
Are you okay?

Oh, yeah, I'm fine.
I've got plenty of accounts
to keep me busy.

Besides, those clients
were a bunch of jerks.

Hey.
Hey.

Well, do you still want to
have a picnic at lunch?

A picnic?

Yeah, last night you said
it would be nice

if I got, you know,
food and sandwiches and
Ding Dongs at the deli.

Oh. Oh, my God.

(CHUCKLES)

I am so sorry.

I am such a jerk.

I said, "Wouldn't it
be nice if..."

I can't have lunch.

I've got a meeting
during lunch.
Oh, okay.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa.

Look, I'm playing basketball
with the guys tonight.

Uh, why don't you come over
after the game and I'll...

I'll make you
a late-night snack.

Okay.

FELDY: And action!

Lisa, throw me
your line. Action!

Well, listen, Lisa and I
feel that this line...

Cut. Cancel, cut.
What are you doing?

I just don't think
my character would
say that line.

Wow.
(WHISTLES AND CHUCKLES)

Let me get this straight.
You don't think your character
would say the line.

Why is that, Lisa?

No, this... This girl
is a strong woman.

Exactly.
Thus, a strong line.

No, I don't think
she needs a man
to save her.

(SIGHS)

Okay, Lisa.

Um, okay.
Let me take you back.

Let me take you back.

You were telling me
before, um,

you're five years old.

Right? Remember,
your parents,

they never picked you up
from school that night.

The sun was setting,
it was getting cold.
You're shivering.

And suddenly a big black car
with tinted windows pulls up.

A kindly,
silver-haired gentleman
steps out of the car,

he swoops you up
in his arms, he puts
you in the car,

he takes you home.

Well, granted, he takes
a rather circuitous route,

but he takes you
home nonetheless.

(SOBBING)

Do you want me to
give the line to Wendy?

Can't you tell
she's upset?
Guys!

She's always upset!
Guys! Guys, hello!

FELDY: What?

First, Feldy,
don't yell at her.

And second, can I
try something here?

Lisa, forget about the line.
You and Wendy go put
some clothes on.

Oh. Buddy.
(CHUCKLES)

I have an idea.
Huh?

I have an idea.

(PANTING)

I'm tired.

Cut it, cut it.
Cut it, cut it.

(SCREAMING)

(CHATTERING)

(DISCUSSING INDISTINCTLY)

Take four, right?
Yeah.

Same as take four.

Create file, and you
select the segment
that you want.

Right, that's right.
Put it in.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Sure you can.
That is so sexy.

Yeah, well. If you come over,
maybe I'll show you, again.

Hey, man.
What's up?

Hey, I'm sorry,
I heard you got laid off.

Yeah, well, you know,

things like that happen.

So, what are you
doing here?

I have a package
that I'd like to
deliver to Mr. Cohen.

Hmm, don't you think
that's a little
inappropriate?

No, but thank you
for the etiquette lesson,
Craig.

Yeah, we've actually
had this little
chit-chat before.

Is he in?

Oh, you just don't
get it, do you?

I'm not leaving this
in your inbox.

God only knows
what's been there.

You little fuck!
Whoa, now hold on.

Now first of all,
you were fired,

so you shouldn't even
be on the premises,

but second of all,
don't talk to her
like that.

Sorry if I offended
your girlfriend.

Whoa. (GRUNTS)

RONA: Jesus, relax.

(YELLS IN PAIN)

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Get off me!

(WHISTLING)

SPENCER: I have values
and morals.

And I am not a violent man.

But all I can think about

is how I would kill Craig.

I would not simply kill him,
I would torture him.

I would lock him
in the mailroom

and I would stake out
in the hallway so that
he couldn't escape.

I wouldn't let him
go to the bathroom,

so he'd be sitting
in his own shit.

And I would make him collate,

until his fingers bled,
all at gunpoint.

(LAUGHING)
And he'd be laughing
and crying

at the same time
because he'd be delirious

from the ink fumes and
the shit in his pants,

and then I would kill him!

I would really kill him.

FELDY: Was that
collard greens?

No, I think
it was spinach.

MELORA: Are you sure
I can't help you with
anything?

What?

Are you sure I can't
help you with anything?

Go for the three, bitch!

(BEEPING)

Oh, man.

What is your boy doing?
This is ridiculous.

Send him back
to Long Beach,

or send him back to Ethiopia
or wherever the hell
he comes from.

He's playing like
a Neanderthal.
This is ridiculous.

We're down by five,
and he's going for two?

They ought to bench him
for the rest of the season.

That's what I'm talking
about! Look at this shit!

Craig?

(SCREAMS)
Yeah! Nice!

Yeah. Yeah.
Right, I'll call you back.

Can I help you
with anything?

Yeah.

Can I help you
with anything?

Uh...

Craig, can I help you
with something?
Huh? Uh...

No, sweetie.

I want you to, uh,

relax,

and think about
what a wonderful night
we're going to have together.

Yeah?

Are you wearing
those panties I got
you for your birthday?

Yes, I am.
(CHUCKLES)

(ARTHUR BARKING)

I have to go
check on Arthur.

No, no.
Leave him, he's fine.

No, he's not fine.

What? Well, wait.

We've got three minutes left
of commercial time.

Wait to check on the dog
until the game's back on.

I'm checking on him now.

CRAIG: Hey!
Oh, no!

Come here.
Come here.

Arthur, please.

Hey! Melora, you know
how I feel about the hair.

Come on.
You, no, no.

(GRUNTS)
Oh, God!

Melora, get out here!

Arthur, okay.
Come here.

Arthur, come here.
In the bathroom now.

It's not funny, Melora.

He's fucking up my couches.

Oh. Who's a very,
very good lover boy?

Who's a very good...
Oh, Jesus.

Where did you
get this tape?
What?

Oh, yeah, yeah.
It's from your fag
mailroom friend, Spencer.

Mr. Cohen,
my name is Spencer Gold.

I work in the mailroom.
My grandmother always
told me that life is short,

make it deep and wide.

I have some ideas for your
Super Quench campaign.

Thank you so much.
Spencer Gold.
"Spencer Gold."

Melora!

Do you want another
glass of wine?

This isn't going to work.

I thought that I could
put up with 70% of
a really great guy.

But 70% of half a man?

Forget it.

RONA: Oh, you can't go
in there, dear.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

(PANTING)

Water?

Aww!

It's different.

But I like it.

Jerry, this really taps
into the young voice
we've been looking for.

WOMAN: Definitely.

I want this kid to meet
all the executives.

Let's fly him out
to Seattle.

You got a couple pencils,
three pens, the good ones.

Box of staples,
box of clips.

Box of brads, bands,
four legal pads, Wite-Out.
I threw an extra one in there.

You know. Uh, anything else
you need, give me a call.
I'll hook you up.

SPENCER: Thank you, Jason.
Yeah. Yeah.

So, we survived
the downsizing, huh?
Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, luckily.
Yeah.

Big promotion for you.
Yeah, it is.

Yeah, that was fast.

Yeah.

Well, I'm going to head
back down to the mailroom.

You know,
there's a couple
of new interns there.

I got to show them
the golden light,
you know what I'm saying?

Yeah!

My day is coming, too.
Big promotion for me.

(SNIFFS) I smell it.
It's in the air.
(CHUCKLES)

Watch out.
Later, Jason.

The olive oil, ladies,
it's like liquid gold.

So if you're going to make
this stuff, don't be shy
about using it.

And maybe some more garlic.

Mmm. Cooking is a very
sensual experience.

And I think...
Smell that?

...that all we're really
trying to do is open you
up to that experience.

(PHONE RINGING)

Who is that?
Is that me?

Are you gonna let it ring
or are you gonna answer it?
I have to, yeah.

FELDY: I'm sorry.
Smell your own garlic.

EZRA: Hello?
(SNIFFS)

Uh, yes, we did.

Let's just keep...

Don't you dare
say that to me.

Don't you dare.
Are you kidding?

You're kidding me, right?

What? I'm in
the middle of...

Right. (INHALES)

We will, we will.
Okay.

All right.
Hold on one second.
Holy blender.

Okay, will you give me
that address again?

(STAMMERS) Wow.
Well, sure, thank you.

Thank you.

Okay, all right.
I love you. Bye.

I said, "I love you."

We won, dude.

Dude, we won the contest,
baby, we won the contest.

We won the filmmaking
contest that we were...
(GLASS SHATTERS)

We were entered into
a filmmaking contest,

and we just won.

We just won the contest.

(TYPING)

(LINE RINGING)

(PHONE RINGING)

Hello?

Hello?

(ROMANTIC SONG PLAYING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

ROLLER RINK DJ:
Okay, everyone.

Look around you and find
that lucky one to accompany
you around the rink

for a couples-only skate.

BOY: Wanna skate?

YOUNG MELORA: Sure.

I'll be back
in about an hour.

So?

What am I, your assistant?
SPENCER: Yup.

Hey.
Hi.

(BARKING)

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Easy, Arthur. Easy, Arthur.

I thought we were friends,
buddy, come on.

Arthur, come on inside.

We'll go on a walk
in a minute.

Hey, what do
you want?
(ARTHUR PANTING)

Um...

Um...

I forget everything I was
going to say and I wish
your dog had killed me.

Spencer, what?

I just want to apologize.

No, I don't want to apologize.
I want to thank you.

Thank you for
rear-ending me.

Thank you for spilling
your guts to me about Craig.

Thank you for letting me
put your necklace on for you
on our first date.

That was really nice.

Thank you for loving
Arthur so much.

And, uh, one more thing.
Don't thank me anymore.

I love you.

(CHUCKLES)

I love you. I've loved
you since I saw you
at the roller rink,

and I know that
you don't remember me,
and that's fine.

I just wanted you to know.

I wanted you to know
that I love you.

(EXHALES)
That's that.

And it's okay,
you don't have to say
anything. I'm fine now.

I just couldn't let those
things go on unsaid.

Good-bye, Melora.

(SIGHS)

(ENGINE STARTS)

RONA: You've got to
get to the airport, Spencer.

Okay, I'm just trying
to find my notes.

Rona?
RONA: What?

Do you have
my plane ticket?

Yep. You're going
to be late.

Thank you very much.
I know, I know.

(PANTING)

RONA: Your flight's at 3:00.
Here is your ticket,
your itinerary.

Hurry back.

SPENCER: Uh, hold on.

MELORA: Spencer!

Melora, are you okay?
Yeah.

What happened?

I ran here.
Why?

(PANTING)

Because I wanted
to tell you...

Can I have a sip
of your water?
Yeah.

What did you
want to tell me?

I just wanted to say,

I don't need
any more friends.

I never said that
we should be friends.

You didn't?
Uh-uh.

Oh.

Okay, then.

Eighty-four, and now 82.

We're looking for 82-A.
So this is 82-A.

This is it.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(SPEAKING KOREAN)

(SPEAKING KOREAN) Hey.

EZRA: Hi.

Hi.

Hi.
Hi.

Where is, uh...
Where is everybody?

Well, it's the middle
of the day,

but we do okay, like,
you know, around 6:00.

(CHUCKLES)

No, actually I meant
the festival participants.
Judges.

You know, filmmakers
who lost the contest.

(CHUCKLES)

Maybe we're at
the wrong address.
82-A?

We directed
Fire in the Hole.

Oh.

Right, uh...

(SPEAKING KOREAN)

You're the guys who entered.
Right, yeah.

Nice to meet you. Wow.
Thank you. Thank you.

Uh, who authorized
our three-picture deal?

Three-picture deal?
Yeah, is he here?

(CAT SNARLING)

"Filmmakers of the century!

"Enter Vic's International
Film Competition...
Where's Vic?

"...and win
a three-picture deal."

Where's Vic?

I'm sorry, man.
My bad.

Uh, um...
(PAGES RUSTLING)

Here you go.

And you guys totally
deserve this, man.

I loved your film.

That moment in the bedroom,
when Lisa caught on fire

and you thought that
was it for her?

It was so choice.

It's free videos.

Free videos.
CLERK: Yeah, my pleasure, man.

Hey, you know what?
Um...

I shouldn't do this.

Ah, fuck it, man.
I am going to give
you these, too.

Thanks.

You know what?
I'm in the right mind

(STAMMERING)
to take all your videos,

and not return any of them.

Okay?

Okay.

EZRA: Are you all right?
FELDY: I'm okay.

(DOOR CHIME JINGLES)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER CONTINUES)