All language subtitles for A Christmas Carol - SNL

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,070 --> 00:00:03,530 (Getranscribeerd door TurboScribe.ai. Upgrade naar Onbeperkt om dit bericht te verwijderen.) We now return to Charles Dickens, A Christmas 2 00:00:03,530 --> 00:00:04,030 Carol. 3 00:00:05,290 --> 00:00:06,890 No, spirits, please. 4 00:00:07,730 --> 00:00:09,470 Enough of these ghastly visions. 5 00:00:10,170 --> 00:00:11,870 I want to be a better man. 6 00:00:12,130 --> 00:00:13,110 I want to live. 7 00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:17,490 I'm in my room. 8 00:00:18,250 --> 00:00:19,070 I'm alive. 9 00:00:19,590 --> 00:00:21,850 I can't believe that I'm alive. 10 00:00:24,850 --> 00:00:26,250 Thank you, spirits. 11 00:00:26,530 --> 00:00:28,210 Thank you for showing me the way. 12 00:00:30,070 --> 00:00:31,290 I'm as light as a feather. 13 00:00:31,650 --> 00:00:33,230 I'm as nary as a schoolboy. 14 00:00:33,590 --> 00:00:35,670 I'm as giddy as a drunken man. 15 00:00:35,770 --> 00:00:36,610 And I will change. 16 00:00:36,990 --> 00:00:38,630 I swear to you, and I will change. 17 00:00:39,350 --> 00:00:41,070 I just hope it's not too late. 18 00:00:44,830 --> 00:00:46,190 You, lad! 19 00:00:46,410 --> 00:00:47,350 You down there! 20 00:00:47,770 --> 00:00:48,110 Me? 21 00:00:48,410 --> 00:00:49,210 Yes, you, boy. 22 00:00:49,390 --> 00:00:51,230 Tell me, what day is today? 23 00:00:51,410 --> 00:00:53,930 Why, it's Christmas Day, sir. 24 00:00:54,690 --> 00:00:55,170 Christmas! 25 00:00:55,650 --> 00:00:57,230 Then I haven't missed it. 26 00:00:57,230 --> 00:00:58,870 The spirits killed it all in one night. 27 00:00:59,290 --> 00:01:00,090 My dear boy. 28 00:01:00,430 --> 00:01:02,250 You know the prize goose in the window 29 00:01:02,250 --> 00:01:03,170 down the street? 30 00:01:03,310 --> 00:01:04,990 The one as big as me? 31 00:01:05,550 --> 00:01:06,350 That's the one. 32 00:01:06,510 --> 00:01:07,350 Go and buy it. 33 00:01:07,390 --> 00:01:09,250 So that Tiny Tim and his family might 34 00:01:09,250 --> 00:01:10,630 have a Christmas feast. 35 00:01:10,730 --> 00:01:12,870 But what should I buy it with, sir? 36 00:01:13,170 --> 00:01:14,320 I'm so poor. 37 00:01:15,990 --> 00:01:17,550 Buy it with this, of course. 38 00:01:25,670 --> 00:01:27,030 Oh, my God! 39 00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:30,130 Where the hell are you going? 40 00:01:30,210 --> 00:01:31,450 I'm blind! 41 00:01:31,550 --> 00:01:32,490 Why didn't you catch her? 42 00:01:32,650 --> 00:01:32,790 What? 43 00:01:32,970 --> 00:01:34,210 You're blaming me? 44 00:01:34,450 --> 00:01:35,190 Then here, okay? 45 00:01:35,430 --> 00:01:37,130 Please, take this for your medical bills. 46 00:01:37,490 --> 00:01:38,390 What's that? 47 00:01:39,530 --> 00:01:41,150 Oh, my God! 48 00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:46,970 This crazy old man is whipping coins into 49 00:01:46,970 --> 00:01:47,530 the eye of the spirit. 50 00:01:48,290 --> 00:01:50,030 I didn't know there was an orphan. 51 00:01:53,150 --> 00:01:57,550 Hey, Scrooge. 52 00:01:57,770 --> 00:01:59,290 Just thought I'd check in on you and 53 00:01:59,290 --> 00:01:59,970 see how you... 54 00:01:59,970 --> 00:02:01,210 Oh, my God! 55 00:02:01,510 --> 00:02:03,750 Someone arrest that man! 56 00:02:04,070 --> 00:02:06,470 He's blinding children for sport! 57 00:02:06,990 --> 00:02:09,810 He's always been a cruel old man. 58 00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:11,950 He hates us orphans. 59 00:02:12,030 --> 00:02:12,770 Let me guess. 60 00:02:13,010 --> 00:02:14,930 You tossed the coin way up in the 61 00:02:14,930 --> 00:02:15,350 air, right? 62 00:02:15,350 --> 00:02:16,810 That's a classic mistake. 63 00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:18,950 What you want to do is toss the 64 00:02:18,950 --> 00:02:20,150 coin straight down. 65 00:02:20,250 --> 00:02:21,230 Now, watch this. 66 00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:27,090 What are you doing? 67 00:02:27,430 --> 00:02:28,150 I couldn't see. 68 00:02:28,230 --> 00:02:28,770 What happened? 69 00:02:28,850 --> 00:02:30,910 He's blind and I can't see! 70 00:02:31,390 --> 00:02:32,530 That was my bad. 71 00:02:32,710 --> 00:02:33,090 Here, kid. 72 00:02:33,550 --> 00:02:34,770 Put some ice on it. 73 00:02:41,230 --> 00:02:42,250 That was him! 74 00:02:42,490 --> 00:02:43,710 Yeah, they can't see me because I'm a 75 00:02:43,710 --> 00:02:45,230 ghost, so you look like a total psychopath. 76 00:02:46,310 --> 00:02:48,190 Is it true, Mr. Scrooge? 77 00:02:48,970 --> 00:02:51,170 Are you blinding children for fun? 78 00:02:51,310 --> 00:02:52,530 Of course not, Tiny Tim! 79 00:02:52,610 --> 00:02:54,270 I'm a changed man, I tell you! 80 00:02:54,510 --> 00:02:57,330 Now, take this money to fix your legs. 81 00:02:57,490 --> 00:02:59,090 I'll just throw it on the ground right 82 00:02:59,090 --> 00:03:00,950 there and you can pick it up, okay? 83 00:03:07,550 --> 00:03:09,870 It's just for turning Tiny Tim into a 84 00:03:09,870 --> 00:03:10,210 sewer! 85 00:03:10,330 --> 00:03:11,390 He's the devil! 86 00:03:12,170 --> 00:03:14,250 My earlier advice was to be nicer to 87 00:03:14,250 --> 00:03:16,390 people, but my new advice is to war 88 00:03:16,390 --> 00:03:16,650 you up. 89 00:03:16,650 --> 00:03:17,310 It's fine. 90 00:03:17,430 --> 00:03:18,530 I can take care of this. 91 00:03:18,870 --> 00:03:22,350 Let's everyone keep quiet about this whole incident, 92 00:03:22,530 --> 00:03:22,890 shall we? 93 00:03:22,990 --> 00:03:24,870 And I'll make it worth your while. 94 00:03:27,490 --> 00:03:31,610 Please, stop running and throwing shiny objects! 95 00:03:31,970 --> 00:03:34,250 You're going to spoof the whole thing! 96 00:03:47,500 --> 00:03:51,940 Okay, well, we've all learned a lot today, 97 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:52,560 haven't we? 98 00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:56,600 But the most important lesson is... 99 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:58,260 Merry Christmas! 5885

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