All language subtitles for aunts-in-my-pants-forbidden-fruits-films-2016-360p

What?

Shit.

I'm not very good at that.

Damn it.

All these balls.

Okay.

So, I've got to do this stupid golf
tournament today for your Uncle Chuck's

work. And, you know, I don't know why
spouses have to go. It's just stupid.

It's just, oh, my God.

I know.

I mean, we'll get it.

It's not that dumb of a thing. I mean,
it's not that hard in many golf courses.

I know, but the problem is your former
aunt, she was like practically a pro.

So, you know, he expects me to be good,
and I'm just, you know, I just suck.

So whatever you can do to help me, I
would just appreciate it so much.

So what am I doing wrong? Well, let's
see you hit one first.

Okay. Oh, okay, hold on. One second
here.

So we're going to come back up.

Okay. There we go.

You want to be up, right?

Well, yeah. Okay. Yep. Just like that.
Okay.

And then we're going to come back. There
we go.

Yep. All right.

Okay.

So just square up, right? So feet firmly
planted.

Right. Like how far apart? Like this far
apart? No, just like shoulders apart.

Yep. Like that. Okay. There you go.
Good. Right?

And then, okay. Yep. Just like loosen
them up right there.

We're going to square them up, but just
keep them nice and loose. There you go.

What about my grip? Is my grip right?

Yeah, we're right -handed, right? Right.
So we're going to grab it right there

and down, and then when you swing, just
make sure it comes from the shoulders.

Okay, so it's not like when I'm
regularly... Okay. Yeah, not like a

bat, just right all the way through.

Yeah, like right there, and from the
shoulders.

Not like a baseball bat.

okay like from the shoulders all right
up here all right

oh my god

i can't believe it i know oh my god
thank you so much it's not easy oh my

that was form that's all okay well i
think i should try one more time and

make sure that i've got it oh you help
again

Wait a minute. I've got an idea. Why
don't I watch you? Here, you do it, and

I'll just watch your form. Yeah, if that
helps. Sure. Okay.

Okay.

All right. Line it up. Like that. On the
shoulders.

Still a little uncomfortable position?

Well, it may be even more comfortable if
you take your pants off inside.

Okay. Yeah.

I don't think Uncle would appreciate it
very much. What your uncle doesn't know

isn't going to hurt your uncle.

I guess.

Oh, yeah.

If I'm going to concentrate on my short
game, I'm going to concentrate on your

long game.

Yeah.

Boom.

Oh no.

Are you doing some dishes here?

I am.

Yeah? Yeah.

Whoa! Did you do my laundry?

I did. I'm trying to make you feel at
home.

Yeah, I know. Wow, thank you. Thank you
so much, man.

So what's going on?

Well, I can help you put that away.

You're going to help me put my laundry
away? No, we can't do that. We can't do

that. I'll get that done.

Well, I want you to feel comfortable. I
can't believe that your mom would even

let you stay here.

I know. She really doesn't like you. I
know she doesn't. I mean, I would do

anything to do with her good graces.

And I know she just doesn't like me. I
think it's because of your uncle and the

way it turned out and how I got together
with him, but it's really not my fault.

I really didn't mean to do it. It just
happened.

And I am a good person. I seriously am.
You just don't realize that. Your mom

just doesn't realize that. I actually am
a good person.

I am.

I don't know. She is pretty pissed.

Well, I know she is, but if there was
anything I could do to get in her good

graces... There has to be something.

I mean, maybe I could have a party and
invite her.

Oh, she's not coming to a party. She
wouldn't come to a party? No, no, no.

if I did, like, a girl's day outing with
her or something like that? That's

never going to happen. That wouldn't
happen either? No. I don't think she'd

Well, what if we just all did, like, a
family thing together or something? You

know what? I got one for you. What? Are
you ready for this?

Yeah. If you could convince me to cut my
hair.

Hold on. It looks so nice the way it is,
but I could cut my hair. with some good

thought. Yeah, yeah, that's never going
to happen.

I'm not going to tell you.

Well, then why are you bringing it up?
That's kind of like... Why would you do

that? You know I'm trying to, like, get
into the family. I know, I'm just...

Well, maybe.

I don't know.

I mean, yeah.

You could, because there is some split
ends that aren't really perfect there,

and you know what? I go to a really good
salon, and I could take you there, and

maybe... You did a really good job on my
laundry.

I did. I tried.

I tried.

I can take you to the salon and I can
get you a bunch of choices in a book. I

know. It does smell good. But I'm just
saying, we could go to the salon and get

your garden if you think it would work
with your mom.

And we could pick from all the different
styles that they have.

They even have champagne when we're
there. They treat you really nice. They

champagne? Yeah.

It's really, really pleasant.

Ooh, so we're going to have drinks at
the salon, are we?

Yeah, they have lots of kinds of
champagne and they have wine and beer.

your hair in it for a year.

We need to go to the salon.

Drinks, then salon.

Well, we can't really drink and drive.

What are you wearing here?

Are you trying to come on to me? Is that
what that is?

You're doing the laundry?

You're taking me for drinks to the
salon?

And now you're hitting on me?

You can't be through this.

Well, it's hot here.

What is this?

Yes, we do. We do.

Yeah, it's just, I don't know why you're
kicking on me. I like my outfit. I just

think we should go have drinks in the
room.

Well, how can I have drinks in the room?

Is there something on the back of it?

What's on the back? There's something on
the back. Why are you talking to Paul?

There's nothing on the back of that. I'm
kidding with you. That was not in

there. Go to the salon with me. Please
get your hair done.

Maybe. I really want your mom to like
me.

She might, but we should really go have
that drink first.

Discuss it with me over a drink.

I can't do that.

You sure?

I'm not doing that right here.

Do not do that. You're going to get me
in a problem.

You are really cute, but this is not
going to be appropriate.

You know, Uncle's not going to be home
for a while.

I don't know. He could be home, and I'm
worried about that.

I'm thinking I'm going to have to tell
my mom you're coming on to me now.

What? Yeah. Why would you do that?

I don't know. I don't need any... more
problems.

Exactly. You don't need any more
problems.

No, I do not need... What did you do to
me?

The way I see it is you need my help.

I do?

Well, I do need your help, but you need
to just cooperate with me. Am I needing

your help?

You just need to cooperate with me and
get your hair done.

Well, no.

Maybe.

Just maybe I'd cooperate with you and
maybe we can go in the room and talk a

little bit, you know?

Well... This is not a good idea, but
you're really cute.

And maybe we can just talk about it. You
sure? You sure your uncle's not going

to be home for a while?

Ah, come on. Let's just go in the other
room and shake the guitar so we can hear

him. You know what? Hold on.

Yeah, let's go this way. Let's go this
way.

Do you want to talk about this now?

No, no, this is discussing it right
here. This is discussing it? Yeah.

I can't believe I'm doing this. With
guest bedrooms, it's so comfortable.

Is it working out for you? Yeah.

I can't believe I'm doing this.

Isn't this a good discussion?

It is a good discussion.

You do feel good, though.

Do you want to do it?

Oh man.

Truth be told, your uncle's not really
satisfied.

Yeah, he's kind of old, isn't he? He is
kind of old.

But at least the sex doesn't last long.

Yeah.

He's got a lot of money, too.

He does.

I guess it just gives you a blow down
when you can't feel your tongue.

See what you look like.

Do you want to face me?

um um

Here, let's take this for all you are.

You like that?

I want to take off my shoes.

I don't want to get hurt.

Just a blowjob, huh?

I was thinking just a blowjob, but put
it in already. Don't make me worry.

Aunt Jodi?

Finn? Oh, my God. What? Oh, my God.

Oh, I can't believe it. Of all the
places to see you, this is where I'm

Oh, my God.

You're in the middle of nowhere.

How are you?

I'm wonderful.

It's so good to see you. Oh, my gosh.
How long has it been?

Ten? Twelve years. Twelve years. Yeah,
twelve years.

I didn't know you were a hiker.

started uh to be more active and then i
love nature so well you're almost out of

water like maybe i didn't bring enough
well i'll tell you what you know what i

still live right over here you do yeah
you want to walk back to my house i'll

get you some lemonade yes i'd love that
we can catch up yeah maybe we'll have

lunch later that perfect i don't have
any plans all right cool let's do it yay

Austin, how long did you hike today?
Like 30 minutes.

Have a seat.

I'm really tired.

All right. Well, I'm going to get those
lemonades, and I will be right back.

All right. I will be here. Enjoy the
view.

Ooh.

Gosh.

It's freaking gorgeous right here.

Oh, wow.

All right.

Lemonade coming up. Yeah. Look at this.
Cheers.

So good.

It's amazing.

Now that you're over 21, I could have
probably said this.

That's right.

Well over.

So, how is everybody?

Everyone's the same. You know, people
get stuck in their patterns of life, I

suppose.

Tell me about it. Your family.

Nothing that much has changed, I'll tell
you.

Not since you kind of took a hiatus.

Where have you been this whole time, and
what happened?

Well, let's see.

I got divorced from your uncle, who was
your dad's brother.

Yeah. So, basically, nobody in the
family wanted to see me anymore.

So, here I am, you know, by myself.

I miss you. I miss my aunt, my fun aunt.

I know. You're always my favorite. I
loved hanging out with you.

Yeah, well, you know, that was part of
the problem, too. They thought I was a

bad influence on... What?

Yes, they thought I was a bad influence,
so, you know.

Well, so we're not...

Okay, so we're not blood -related then.
All growing up, you were my aunt. You

were my Aunt Jodi.

But that was just by marriage then?

Yeah, and your uncle actually had two
wives before me and has had two wives

since. Oh, my gosh. You've got a lot of
aunties running around out there.

I guess I do.

But you were my favorite.

So what have you been up to? Anything?

Any boyfriends on the horizon?

No, actually.

I'm not really interested in boys.

Oh, too much, you know, work and your
job and stuff like that?

No, I'm actually a lesbian.

Yeah. Oh.

So I like ladies.

Oh.

Yeah. Hmm. I suppose they blame that on
me, too.

Why would they blame that on you? That's
why I wasn't allowed to hang around

with anybody.

Your uncle could be with a woman, and
that didn't work out. Then it was with a

man, and then it was with a woman. So,
you know, I could do a little bit of

and a little bit of that.

Just kind of follow your heart.

Well, yeah. For me, it's not about the
sex of the person. It's the person.

I totally understand that. Yeah.

100%. You know, you were my favorite
aunt for, you know,

more than one reason.

I mean, you were really fun to hang out
with, but you were also, like, my

hottest.

Did you have a crush on me?

I mean, maybe a little bit. Oh, that is
so cute.

I know. It felt kind of messed up at the
time.

Oh, you're all grown up. But, I mean,
now, that doesn't feel weird at all.

Especially since I know that, you know,
you're not even my, I mean, it was

marriage, so.

You're in a relationship right now?

Uh, you know, I just kind of got out of
one.

Okay. I'm kind of between relationships
myself.

Are you? Mm -hmm.

You're here.

I am here.

You're here.

The whole afternoon free.

Hmm.

That's really good lemonade, but this is
better.

Mmm.

Let me do that. Yeah.

Oh, God.

Thank you.

Yeah, look at this. We really need to
get you to the proper hiking place. I

think you're right. Oh, my God.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, my God.

Oof.

real hiking supplies and then we can be
hiking buddies I'm into that

now as long as we can do this after it's
all about cardio

Hey, hey. Can I do this? Can I do this?

Yeah, hold on.

Anything good going on today?

Nah, just going to go hang out with a
couple friends.

Going to the office?

Nah, just going to get in the office and
not got a little work today.

Yeah. Could you ask your father that I
kind of come across with things?

Okay. You know what? Could you tell your
stepmother that we're out of coffee

because you picked up from the store? It
makes it a little useful.

Tell your father I'll leave some cream
in that as well.

Okay. What's going on here?

We're not talking.

What's the problem here, guys?

We're getting along great yesterday.

What happened?

I'm not. Whatever.

Let's take a little long coffee.

I finally got some cream.

All right.

I'm heading into the office.

Could you tell her to stop your stepmom
to stop spending so much money on the

credit cards?

Why don't you tell your father to stop
spending so much time on his secretary?

For the last time, I'm not fucking my
secretary!

Well, you're not fucking me!

I don't know what I walked into out
there, but that was, like, really weird,

I just... Is he really spending a lot of
time with his secretary right now?

I don't know. I mean, but he's spending
a lot more time with her than he's

coming home.

You know?

They've got to be fucking, you know.

No, I don't think he would do that. My
dad loves you.

He's not spending any time here with me,
that's for sure.

Do you want me to talk to you a little
bit about this? No, no, no. Someone

as well get the benefit of looking at
what I work out hard at at the gym five

days a week.

That's for sure.

Yeah, but... I'm sorry, what?

No, that's... Oh, enjoy.

He certainly isn't.

I just can't imagine anybody not wanting
to spend time with you.

Well, why do you think that?

You're super hot. My dad was very lucky.

Oh, yeah?

You think I'm hot?

Why don't I just enjoy you then?

Since you think I'm hot.

I need some action.

What do you want?

Yeah, your father.

He can spend it with the secretary.

What

do you mean

you don't know?

Yeah, come on.

Oh, shit.

Oh, fuck. Yeah, yeah.

Hello?

The door was open.

Holy shit, did you hear the lightning?

I did.

That's a little crazy.

Just give me a second.

I don't think this is probably
appropriate, so just give me one second.

Hold on.

Oh, my goodness.

I really don't think this is appropriate
to wear to work night.

You think?

Well, I'm going to try to change really
fast, but I really appreciate you

driving me because it's storming
outside, but I really appreciate it.

I'll be back in just a second.

Look, I think this is good. I think this
might work. Do you think this might

work?

No, not really.

Are you sure?

Yeah. I brought some tape.

I can tape it down. That might work.

Yeah? What do you think?

Just tape it down.

That really works.

Look, we need to talk.

What? Oh, my gosh.

This, probably. This is probably. Oh, my
God. I didn't even think about that.

I'm so, I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry.

Well, it's not really that. I mean, that
is a little risky for my family. You

know, I don't know how my Nana would
feel about that.

But that's kind of beside the point.
What?

Did I just... You don't remember me?

Oh, what?

At all, like... Oh, my God. Do you
remember that party five years ago?

Oh, shit.

Oh, you're the guy with the big fucking
dick. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Yeah, so...

This is a little awkward, a little
problem.

Is it really awkward?

Is it awkward?

I mean, yeah, you know, I'm married to
my uncle now, and, like, I just want to

figure I come over here so we can get
this out of the way so it becomes less

awkward when we see everybody.

We already left.

Ah, we did.

So, now that you're my aunt, we can kind
of put this behind us and... Oh, no,

no, no, no. No, baby.

We are not putting this right.

I don't know about

this.

Look,

we can't do this.

Uncle Paul is my favorite uncle.

I'm about to become your favorite aunt.

Come with me, baby.

Oh my God.

Mmm.

Thank you.

Yeah, yeah. Oh,

my God. It's so fucking good.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh my god.

Give me your hand

There you go. There you go.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh,

yeah.

Oh, my God. Fuck. Fuck.

Oh my God, this feels so good.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Oh my God. What did we just do?

You just made my life bearable.

Oh, I love you. Uncle Paulie.

My life's bearable. He's so fucking old.

True.

Look at this, baby. Look, I can't do
this.