All language subtitles for SuperBob.2015 Eng

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(dramatic orchestral music)

- [Male News Anchor] In breaking
news, the asteroid WE2007

now appears to have broken
up under Jupiter's gravity,

making earth impact more likely.

- [Female News Anchor] 2007
has entered the atmosphere.

(multiple news anchors speaking)

if the asteroid stays it's course, it will

make impact with the United Kingdom

within 24 hours.

- [Male News Anchor] the
meteorite is on a collision

course for London.

(speaking foreign language)

- [Female News Anchor] it will
hit an area across London.

- [Male News Anchor] People
across London and the Southeast

have reported seeing a large meteor

flashing across the sky.

- [Man] It was this, really bright light.

- [Woman] It looked like a meteorite,

but I don't know if you
get them around here.

- We can now confirm that a

meteor has struck in
Peckham, South London.

- [Female News Anchor]
A meteorite, impact,

in the United Kingdom.
specifically in England,

London.

specifically, Peckham.

- My dog was like, very wide-eyed,

you know.

It only ever gets that look when he,

when he sees a bitch across the park.

Or a meteorite, I know that now.

- [Male News Anchor] A man
can be seen in the direct path

of the meteor.

- [Reporter] A man was hit
by a meteor today, as seen.

- Extraordinary footage here.

- A postman, Robert Kenner, has been

struck by the meteorite.

- [News Anchor] Robert Kenner,

the man struck by a meteorite,

has apparently disappeared from the

hospital he was taken to.

- [Reporter] There are
increasing number of reports

of a flying man seen over Peckham.

- More witnesses are
going forward claiming

to have seen a flying man in Peckham.

- Who is the flying man?

- Bob from the depot, yeah.

- There may be a link, between the meteor

strike, and the flying postman of Peckham.

- He's been getting quicker, on his route,

and the two things got all like,

probably wrong, but I'm not.

- Footage emerged today of a man flying

through the Shard.

- [Bob] Shit!

Sorry!

- Causing thousands of
pounds worth of damage.

- We didn't go out looking
for Bob, Bob came to us.

He handed himself in.

- [Man] Hey, Bob!

- Hello mate!

- [Theresa] He had no
control over his powers.

- I see I've broken with these.

- [Theresa] We had to train him up.

- Flight Test One.

(yelling)

- [Bob] I don't know how to stop!

Whoa, the baby's alive!

- [Theresa] Test the
limits of his abilities.

- [Man] Bob?

(screaming)

- Oh God!

Oh, Jesus Christ, oh!

- [Reporter] The flying
postman from Peckham

has been secluded inside
the Ministry of defence

for the last four months.

- Why are you doing that?

- Just a bit nervous.

- [Theresa] And he responded well.

- [Bob] Whoa.

- And when we perfected the system,

Bob went out into the world.

- [News Anchor] After
months of speculation,

the man who developed superpowers has been

unveiled by the British government.

And his name is SuperBob.

(crowd cheering)

- [Theresa] I am very proud
of him and of the work we did.

(speaking foreign language)

- [Male News Anchor]
SuperBob will be working

for the UK government

and the Ministry of Defence.

The world will never be the same again.

- [Man] A Superhero for the real world.

- [Theresa] It's funny what
you get used to, isn't it?

I mean,

he can fly.

(grand orchestral music)

- SuperBob.

Name's a bit wank.

It's arrogant, in a way,

but looks like it stick him.

- [John] Um, could you tell me your, uh,

your name, and your job?

Please.

- My name is Theresa Maria Ford.

I am the head of the emergency

response slash disaster unit.

But you can't use any of that.

- [John] I can't use it?

- You can't use any of it, no.

- [John] I can't use your name, even?

- No.

- [John] Okay.

You have, you, a very, very

important job, as far as I understand.

- Mm-hm.

- [John] Could you tell
us a little bit about

what that job involves?

- No.

- [John] Would it be okay to ask you why

you wanted to make this film?

- We feel that perhaps the public

doesn't know the real Bob.

And I, I just feel it's really our

duty to let people know that Bob is

just a regular guy

who can fly.

(knocking)

- Yes, I have two bills.

I've got one from British
Gas and one from you and,

um, yes, I'm sure it's my fault

I don't mind, it's just I wanted to...

Um, can I call you back in a bit, please?

Thank you.

- [John] Hello, I'm John, we're

making the film today.

- Is that today?

- [John] Yeah, yeah it's today.

Theresa said you knew about it?

Oh, no, Bob,

- Hi, I'm Bob, Bob,

can I, can I, good morning.

- [John] Just your normal
voice is fine here, Bob.

No, Bob,

- Good morning.

- [John] Just--

- Good morning!

Hey, Hey!

- [John] Bob, just wait!

Thanks for having us.

- You're welcome!

Hi, I'm Bob.

- [Doris] Hey, Bob.

- Hey, Doris.

That's Doris, that's my cleaner,

- [Doris] Have you done the sheets yet?

- Not yet.

- [Doris] Then, can I start
in the bathroom, please?

- Yep.

Makes sense.

- 'Kay, what is all this?

- Um, they're making a film
to show that I'm normal.

(laughing)

- [Doris] Oh, good luck!

- [Bob] This way?

- [John] Yeah, that's great.

That's the way, great.

- Yep.

- [John] May I ask you your name

and your job, please?

- You may.

My name is Bob Kenner

and I'm a civil servant.

- [John] You don't say superhero?

(chuckling)

- We don't use that word.

I mean, you can use that word, but,

I would, I mean, it's just a job

and I have shifts just like anyone else.

- [John] So, just talk
me through from, from,

you wake up, what happens?

- Well, I get up and,

I've a massive wee.

A bomb goes off in Afghanistan,

Boom!

Chaos!

I'm leaving a gap here so
if you want to put like,

news footage of, you know,
like a bomb, or chaos,

or whatever, just to, just to jazz it up,

I don't want to tell you
how to do your job, but

I imagine this is probably
just, like pretty bleak.

This is an E-179.

(light jazz music)

This is to set up a temporary No Fly Zone,

make sure that nothing
bumps into me up there,

which is actually quite important because

there is a lot, there's
a lot less room up there

than you might think.

- Like I'm really, I'm
really glad to be alive,

I'm really glad to have been saved,

but he's just a bit,

I mean, sign your own fucking form.

- This is a combined insurance.

- Eyewitnesses report
that Kenner tried to get

the baby to sign a form.

He then panicked, and quickly flew off.

- Temporary jurisdiction proposal.

- We like order.

- An S12658P.

- "I've got to fill out a form."

Of course you have to fill out a form!

How is there going to be a record of it?

- [John] How would you rate
the experience out of ten?

- I mean, a solid six, you know.

I mean, I didn't die.

- There is a lot happening

- [John] How stressful
do you find your job?

- Can I ask you a question?

- [John] Sure.

- Are you with Aeon or British Gas?

- [John] Um, why?

- Uh, I'm not taking sides or anything

but I think I might have signed up to both

of them by mistake.

- [John] I'm with Southern Electric.

(clicking tongue)

- Damnit.

They came round last week,

I said I didn't have time.

Are they good?

- [John] Seem to be.

- Damn it!

- Well, I was really excited to meet him,

because, you know, he
can fly, for starters,

which is brilliant.

But take that away, and really,

he's just a bit of a dullard.

And it pains me to say that 'cause all my

mates and me thought he he was fit

before I met nim.

- [John] So I think the
question that everybody

wants to know is

does SuperBob have a girlfriend?

- No, SuperBob does not have a girlfriend.

- [John] Why is that?

- Because SuperBob is very busy.

(light rock music)

This is Peckham.

Not the Ritz, but it's home.

People say it's a bit stabby,
but it's not actually.

It's a bit, but it's not a lot.

The named this one after me.

It's sweet, really.

Hello, mate.

- [Man] Yo, air support.

- Yeah.

That's the Sun Do, Sun Don't.

I call it that.

Full name is Sun Do, Sun
Don't, Sun Don't Mind

if you Do At All.

Just my little thing.

I mean I grew up in Peckham.

These are my ends.

Everyone's friendly.

- SuperPrick!
(bicycle bell ringing)

- Except for Darren.

From his state.

Not a fan.

Almost definitely not his bike.

This is my favourite thing to do.

I only really get to do it on my day off.

(choir music)

♪ Down by the riverside ♪

♪ I ain't gonna study war no more ♪

♪ I ain't gonna study war no more ♪

♪ I ain't gonna study war no more ♪

♪ No no no ♪

♪ Study war no more ♪

♪ No no no no ♪

♪ Study war no more ♪

♪ Said I ain't gonna study war no more ♪

- I mean it's, you know, it's, it's an

honour to have him.

Yeah.

♪ Ahhhh ♪

(glass breaking)

(clearing throat)

That was amazing!

That was such a good one!

They were so good they said

we could finish early.

That was amazing!

It's just so good to feel
part of the community.

It's the Peckham people.

You know what I mean?

It's just--

♪ I'm gonna lay down my burdens ♪

♪ Down by the riverside ♪

♪ Down by the riverside ♪

- Sometimes I like to stay
in on my day off as well.

Work on my projects.

This one is for someone special.

(phone ringing)

Hello?

- [Mom] David?

- It's Bob, you called me.

- [Mom] Who is Bob?

- Bob, your son.

You called me, Mum.

- [Mom] I don't have a son.

If I had a son, he would
come and visit me more.

- I'm not suggesting that
she's faking it, but I do

sometimes think that it's
quite a convenient disease.

- [Mom] I heard that, Bob.

- Oh, now you remember my name.

- [John] So are there
any downsides to your

amazing life, Bob?

- It does get

lonely sometimes.

He struggles, 'cause he's got big fingers.

- [John] Sorry, who's that?

- Oh that's Barry, my security.

- [John] You have security?

- Yeah.

It's a union thing, he has
to watch over the house.

He's got a shed.

- [John] That seems unnecessary.

- Why?

- [John] Because you're invulnerable.

- Well, it's a union thing.

- [John] You were saying?

- He's got this thyroid problem

that affects him--

- [John] No, um no, about being lonely.

- Oh, um, right.

I guess, I have always wanted someone

to shine my shoes with.

I never had that.

But today, today,

I am making changes.

Because today, I have a date.

- [John] That's great!

- Yeah.

- [John] When were you last on a date?

- Six years ago.

(Doris laughing)

Doris, I'm trying to do an interview!

Sorry.

- [John] So, who's the date with?

- June is

the most beautiful girl in Peckham.

Can I say that?

I said it, it's true.

She's the most beautiful
girl in the world,

and I've been all over.

I remember the very first
conversation we ever had,

like it was yesterday.

She says to me, "Have you
ever read House of Leaves?"

And I'm like, "No."

And she's like, "Well, you should."

So I did.

That's where she works.

Anyway, I didn't get it.

It's like this book, you have
to sort of turn it around

as you read it,

it's like this sort of
spiralling, I didn't get it.

But it was an icebreaker, because then,

is that her?

- [John] I don't know which one she is.

- [Bob] She's the most beautiful one.

Oh, I, go go go go go,

I'm going to look like a right weirdo.

- He's been coming in,
for about six months.

He comes in every Tuesday.

I know because I've been counting.

Because it's, well, you know.

Him.

In here.

Everyone else is used to it, but,

I guess I'm just not.

- This is where I used to work.

I used to love working here,

because people are always excited--

- Oh!

Bob, come here!

- They'd be excited to get--

- Bob, one second, just come here and--

- I don't know who she is.

- Bob.

Come here.

You must listen to big people when

they talk and talk to you.

Hold this for me, I'll soon come.

I'm gonna go on to the butcher's.

I'm just going to the butcher's

before it close.

Please, just hold it, yes indeedy.

Just hold it, I'll soon come, Okay.

- Well, he's just not like other guys.

I mean, he's really not.

- Like, every week I was taking out books

and bringing them back.

- Oh, he is a voracious reader.

- I was not reading any of them.

- He's read my favourite book,

which is very romantic.

Because it's not an easy book.

- And then, after about six months--

- He started like, hanging
around my desk a lot--

- Just like, mumbling about,
around her like an idiot.

- And I thought, "Does he like me?"

- Eventually--

- Would SuperBob ever ask me out?

- Finally--

- Like, ever?

- She asked me out.

- And he said yes.

(laughing)

- It was unbelievable.

- So, finally, we're going on our date.

Today.

Lunch.

One o'clock.

And I am very excited about it.

- There is no accounting for tastes.

I do actually need
Maureen, because I don't

have a photo ID, so...

- I am done.

(phone beeping)

- It's Theresa.

She wants to take me shopping

for clothes for the date.

I don't need her for that.

I can buy clothes.

How hard is it to buy clothes?

Doris, I need you to help me buy clothes,

I've made a terrible mistake.

You need to take me shopping.

I don't want to turn up at this date--

- You look like a paedophile.

- Is that what this combo says to you?

- It's not just the
clothes, it's the face.

- Okay, well that's
terrible, I need clothes--

- You look like a man who has not

touched a woman in six years.

- I need clothes where I turn up and

I don't look like a weirdo.

- You look desperate, and insane.

- You look like a terrorist.

- [Bob] Hello, Barry.

- That's because of his eyebrows.

- [Bob] What is wrong with eyebrows?

- Terroristic.

- You have terrorist eyebrows.

- I will buy you something.

- Anything?

- Yep.

What do you need?

- Socks.

- Let's go.

You stay here.

Just Doris.

- All right, I'll stay, it's all right.

I'll have a bath or something.

(light jazz music)

- [Doris] We'll walk one to
the other and see everything.

In two minutes.

- Hey!

- Oh, Karl!

- Why don't you call me anymore?

- 'Cause, we had our fun.

- But I want more fun!

- We had our fun!

Come on, Bob.

- Enjoying your day off, SuperBob?

- Oh, yes, thanks!

- [Woman] You lazy shit!

- Don't listen to her.

- [Bob] I didn't.

(light guitar music)

I thought you were still with Javier.

- [Doris] Yes?

Oh, Javier was over weeks ago.

I'm so hungry.

You like lemons?

- [Bob] I'm okay with lemons.

Is that what you want to eat it?

- No.

(speaking foreign language)

- A pa pa.

- A pa pa?

- [Bob] What do you want to eat?

- I don't know what it is.

I always have a curiosity, what is it?

Is it meat?

Is it cold, is it hot?

- What was wrong with Javier?

- He always took me bowling.

- You hate bowling.

- I know.

I'm Bob's cleaner.

I clean twice a week.

I also work at the care home

where his mother lives.

I became very friendly with Mrs. Kenner.

And she tells me her son needs help.

He cannot tie his own shoelaces.

And, that is how I was stuck with Bob.

- Yeah.

What, you're Aeon?

I thought I'd already spoken to you this,

is that British Gas?

Do you like this?

- No.

- [Bob] The, the thing is--

- I came here to raise money

to pay for a nursery in Colombia.

It's taken me six years, and I have

barely raised any money.

They not pay shit in this country.

- I heard that.

I found this really
beautiful monastery in Tibet.

I'm gonna fly us there,

I'm gonna sit on this clifftop,

We overlook the whole of
the place, we eat noodles.

(laughing)

Why are you laughing?

- Are you joking?

- No.

- For a first date?

- Yes.

- Do you want to look crazy?

- I definitely don't want to look crazy.

Take her to, take her to the

Kari Kabin in Peckham.

- Really?

- Yes, with your legs.

Don't be so keen.

It's a nice place.

Buy her Tika Masala,

ask her lots of questions.

- Like what?

- Don't ask who supplies her fucking gas.

- I wasn't going to.

I wasn't going to!

- [Doris] Ask her something personal.

- [Bob] Okay, um, is
your mother still alive?

- No, something else.

And then, if it goes well,

then you can fly her about.

- Okay.

- Don't play all your cards at once.

You'll scare her away.

It's going to be all
right, though, isn't it?

I just got to be myself, right?

- Not if you want her to like you.

(phone ringing)

Bob, when you're on this date,

turn off your fucking phone.

Women hate being interrupted
by fucking phones.

- It's Theresa.

It's Theresa, I have to take it.

- Fuck Theresa!

Don't answer!

It's your day off,

- Hello?

Hey, hello Theresa.

No, no, no no, I'm listening
to angry Spanish talk radio.

- [Theresa] I need you to
come into the office now.

- [Bob] But--

- [Theresa] It's an emergency.

- [Bob] Theresa, it's my day off.

- [Theresa] In my office, now, Bob.

- [Bob] Okay, if it's an emergency.

- [Theresa] It's a fucking emergency, Bob!

- I have to go, I'm sorry.

Can you take care of everything?

- What about your date?

You're just going to cancel
because the MOD called?

- No, no, I will go quickly to the MOD

and then I'll rush to my date.

It will be fine, there'll be enough time.

- What if there's not time?

- Then, I'll postpone the date.

- You are pathetic!

- I'm not pathetic, what choice do I have?

- What did these people
do before you, Bob?

Sometimes we have to say no!

- I can't say no to the
Ministry of Defence!

- [Doris] It's not so hard to say no.

- [Bob] It's very hard to say,

- No, Theresa, no, it's my day off.

- This from a woman who has never said

no in her entire life!

"Oh, yes, Javier, yes, Karl,

"yes, Simon, yes, Brian.

"I literally don't know the
meaning of the word no!"

- What did you say?

- It was a,

doesn't matter, it was just a joke.

- What, you think a woman is not allowed

to have many partners?

- No, of course I don't think that.

- You think it makes her a whore, do you?

A woman living her life,
choosing what she wants to--

- I don't think all women
are whores, just you!

(gasping)

I can't believe that was
the end of that sentence.

I really thought there
would be other words,

and they would be in it,

which would make it sound better,

can I get anything?

- I'd cut your losses, mate.

- Yeah, I have to go.

I--

- Wait, I have a form for you.

It says to go fuck yourself.

- It's blank.

- It says, go fuck yourself.

Please sign it.

- [Bob] It doesn't say anything.

- It's psychic paper.

Full name, please.

- Can I please go now?

- Go.

Do your fucking thing.

(bell ringing)

(grand orchestral music)

- What's the emergency?

- The American situation is frying.

- Where do I need to be?

- Here, for a handshake.

- Is that code?

- No, it's a handshake.

- Right.

- The senator is joining us for lunch,

we need you here for a Photo Op.

Just a handshake, nothing heavy.

Just a handshake.

And a hug.

And hold a baby.

- We've got a few scenarios
that they've agreed to.

Um, the classic handhshake,

- Hang on, what is this?

- I need to show you're not dangerous.

- I'm not dangerous.

- I know that.

- I've never hurt anyone.

- We know you're not dangerous, Bob,

but this is the United States,

they still haven't forgiven us.

- [Bob] For what?

- For you.

They're still pissed off you're ours.

I'm going to tell you this off the record.

Off the record, okay?

About a year ago, America
made a move on Bob.

They tried to poach him,

but we wouldn't let him go.

And ever since then,

a smear campaign started,
from across the pond.

Infecting everything.

Coincidence?

You do the math.

- [Reporter] In Texas today
SuperBob saved 400 children

from a burning school.

There were no injuries.

- They send him into a burning
school to save the children.

Now I'm not disagreeing
that he saved the children,

he did save the children,
that's by the by.

But what kind of Superhero

smashes up a school?

A school?

- Now, this is one of their favourites.

It's you, kneeling, obviously

with a gigantic American flag,

like flapping behind you.

- Does it have to be today?

- Yes, they're all here
for tonight's summit.

- It's my day off.

- Do you think I like calling
you in on your day off?

Because I don't.

Okay, it makes me feel
awful, but unfortunately,

that is part of my job.

Now this deal has taken
a long time to broker.

- Yeah, these mountains are
not currently snowcapped.

Now these are not condors,
they are not vultures,

Don't make the same mistake I did,

they are bald eagles.

Um, their handler is a
lovely man named Clint.

- What about my date?

- What?

- My date.

- Oh, Bob.

She'll wait.

- [Man] They're no danger
to Bob, in any way.

- [Theresa] Postpone the date.

She'll be fine.

- We will however have
like, a few carcasses,

sort of scattered around the rocks,

to get them interested,
to get them excited,

to get them swooshing.

If they do go for Bob--

- What if I don't want to?

- What do you mean?

- Could I say no?

- Could you say,

Bob, no.

- Doris says I should say no more.

- What the fuck does Doris have to

do with world security?

- She's my cleaner.

- I know who she is.

- And finally, the hot dog.

- Yeah, I like that.

Okay, I'll do the handshake one.

Next Tuesday, I promise.

I promise.

It's just, my work,

you're being a lot more
understanding than I expected,

I actually thought you'd be angrier.

It's just, I have to do it.

Apparently.

No, I can't keep messing you around,

it's not all, it's not
all right, actually.

It's not all right.

It isn't all right.

Do you know what, June?

We're gonna have this date.

(phone ringing)

Hello, June?

No, we didn't get cut off,

I hung up.

No, no, no, you hadn't
done anything wrong.

No, I should have said goodbye.

I should have said goodbye,

I was being dramatic.

I was being dramatic, it was stupid.

I should've,

I should've said goodbye.

But I thought I'd hang up,
and then I'd go and do,

and then to go and do something,

and then maybe, maybe I could see you.

Okay, you go when I,

okay, Bye!

Okay.

No, it doesn't matter.

Okay, bye!

Okay, um, uh, you've gone.

- I'm not really wild about--

- Um, I'm not doing it.

- [Theresa] Oh, Bob.

Okay,

- No.

I'm saying No.

- Listen to me, Bob.

She will wait.

- [Bob] You heard me.

- I told you, I promise you she will--

- Fucking no!

I'm sorry I had to swear word with that,

that was unnecessary,
I'm very excited, but...

- Right, you don't know what you're doing.

Stop making a scene!

- Doris, I did it!

I said no.

Yeah, it's Bob.

Yeah.

I'm going to take her to the Kari Kabin

and I'm going to ask
her lots of questions.

(phone ringing)

Yes, sorry Doris.

I hung up again,

I should've said goodbye.

(light pop music)

(singing in foreign language)

(bell on door ringing)

- [Doris] Bob, you need to come!

- How did you find me?

- I told you to come here!

Why is your phone off?

- You told me to turn my phone off!

Why are you shouting at me?

- Your mother fell.

She hurt herself.

(clock ticking)

- Ooh!

What's that?

- You banged your head, Mum.

- Did I?

That was silly of me.

- Yeah, it was.

- [Woman] Hi, Doris.

- Hi.

(gasping)

- It's been too long.

(squealing)

- Javier.

- I haven't shown you all my moves.

- I've seen enough of your moves.

- Mmm.

- You know what would
make me happy, don't you?

- What's that, Mum?

- To see you with a nice girl.

(sighing)
That's all I want.

To see you with a nice girl.

- I know that's all you want.

- [Mom] Then why won't you give it to me?

(sighing)

- Mum.

- [Mom] I'll die sooner than you think.

- [Bob] Mum, why do you always say that?

- I could die today.

- You know, it's horrible
when you say that!

I really hate it.

- Bob, if you don't like touching women--

- Oh, come on!

I touch women.

I touch women all the time with my hands!

Only when they ask.

- Mmm.

And when do them ask?

- They don't.

- Mm-hmm.

- Naked and proud in front of
her, and I would say, Doris--

- [Bob] Javier.

- Bob.

- What are you doing?

Mum, put that away!

- If you're never going
to be with a woman,

then I may as well be dead!

- Where did you get pills from?

Mum, stop threatening to die!

This is exhausting!

I do not want you to die.

Give me those pills,

this is awful!

- If you would just be with a girl--

- I'm with a girl, I'm with a girl!

I'm with a girl!

- Really?

- Yes, I promise.

I'm with a girl, yes, I'm with a girl,

And she's great, and you'd love her.

- [Mom] Who is she?

- She's um, it's um, Doris!

It's Doris.

- [Doris] Yes?

- [Mom] Oh, Good!

I love Doris!

- Okay then it's not Doris.

- [Mom] It's Doris!

- What?

- [Mom] My favourite girl in the world!

- Okay, wait,

- Why is she crying?

- [Mom] Bob's just told me the news!

- What did you tell her?

- I told her something, wait.

- I always wanted you to be with my Bob.

- I didn't know she would say this,

I knew it would come this day.

- Doris, please--

- I love you both so much.

You've made me the happiest woman.

- Could I have a quick word?

Just a quick word, Doris.

- [Doris] Yes, Mrs. Kenner.

- [Bob] Doris.

- Oh, it's lovely.

- No, I don't want to do it!

- It's not bad.

- It's bad, I don't want to lie.

- It's not bad.

- How would she ever believe
her only son with such a whore?

- Doris--

- She will find out!

Why would I do this?

- Because I've never seen her that happy.

Ever.

And she will forget,

in an hour.

So why can't we just make her happy?

Just for a moment.

(scoffing)

- [Doris] Come on then!

(upbeat big band music)

♪ Gotta grab hold of life ♪

♪ If only my life ♪

♪ At this moment, it might be my last ♪

- My Bobby and Doris are a couple.

- [Man] Oh, that's wonderful.

- A la?

People?

(clearing throat)

Ladies and gentlemen,

Sorry to interrupt, but
we are of course here

to celebrate the 60th
anniversary of Gladys and Ted.

Well done, you two!

(group clapping)

(speaking foreign language)

Now, as a special treat,

Doris, our Doris, has said that
her new boyfriend SuperBob,

No, me no believe it, is
gonna give a little speech.

(group clapping)

- Bobby.

- No, no, no, why would you do that?

- [Woman] Bobby, come on, up here.

- Hiya.

Um,

Gladys and

Ted.

You guys, I've seen you guys
over the last few years.

There you are!

There you are, and you look well.

60 years.

That is a fucking long time.

(group gasping)

I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm swearing,

That's twice today, that
is very out of character.

I apologise.

You're the sort of couple that are

going to die very soon.

After each other, after each other.

But not like from
cancer, or because, like,

you caught something off the other one,

but because, like, as
soon as one of you dies,

the other one will be like,

ahh, ahh, my heart, I can't,

being crushed, I just,

(imitating popping)

I've just, gone, sort of immed,

within a week.

I mean, that's what we want, isn't it?

Not for you to be dead, not in any way,

I mean, if your in pain, please, go ahead,

you know, we'll be, we'll
cope, but we'll miss you,

the point is, you should stay, let's...

(sighing)

That's what we all want, isn't it?

To be with someone who,
when they die, you're like,

well, that's it for me, too.

Anyway, Happy Love Day!

And, and well done on 60 years,

and you weren't married at birth,

so you must be, old, so chin up!

And thank you, for the music.

Cheers and good night.

(group clapping)

- [Man] Awful!

- [Bob] I hate you.

- Very deep.

- Oh, when are you
gonna stop punishing me?

- I haven't decided yet.

- [Woman] Thank you, Bob.

- Now, I'm joined in the studio today

by the American Senator Bill Jackson.

Senator, you're in town
for today's weapon summit.

What exactly is it that you're hoping to

achieve here in the UK, senator?

- I want to out an end to Britain's

monopoly on a highly dangerous weapon.

- Ah, but SuperBob isn't
in fact a weapon, is he?

He's a man.

- The fact that he refused

to meet with me today, to shake my hand,

with no apology, or explanation,

SuperBob is a weapon that
Britain has no control over.

Where is he today?

(upbeat dance music)

(laughing)

- [Doris] Okay, Mrs. Kenner.

(laughing)

Come on, come on.

Come on, Superbob, jump in.

- [Bob] I don't like dancing.

No, I don't have to.

- [Mom] Dance with your girlfriend!

- No, that's why we're a good couple,

She knows I don't dance.

Is this, this is dancing, isn't it?

- [Doris] No, come on.

This is less embarrassing.

(light jazz music)

♪ He always has to say goodbye ♪

♪ Why do we try ♪

- Is it weird with Javier?

- Why?

- Because you use to go out.

- Why would it be weird?

It was months ago, it was just fun.

You're probably disgusted.

- I am sorry.

About what I said earlier.

- It's okay, you're not normal.

- I'm just jealous.

Maybe I wish I could be more like you.

- [Doris] You already apologised.

- What's this?

- [Doris] It's the psychic paper.

- Oh, the psychic paper, is it?

"Doris is better than I will ever be.

"I am sorry I was ever rude to her.

"She's the greatest, I
am an idiot, Bob Kenner."

That's interesting.

- I'd like you to hold onto this.

- Yeah.

- How come your English is
so much better on paper?

(light guitar music)

♪ One more drink and a cigarette ♪

♪ Just before this world melts down ♪

♪ In the graveyard of no regrets ♪

♪ You will make your final sound ♪

♪ It's the end of the world ♪

♪ But you don't stop living ♪

♪ It's the end of the world ♪

♪ But you don't stop forgiving ♪

♪ It's the end of the world ♪

(phone ringing)

♪ One more day to recall ♪

- [Bob] It's June.

I should take this.

- Tell her you dance like a fucking idiot.

- Hello?

June, hi.

No, I honestly, I waited for ages,

then I had to go because my Mum, and--

So it was broken?

Well, of course.

Of course I'm still keen.

I'm too keen, I'm,

I've been making you something.

It's embarrassing.

Yeah, you could see it, if you want.

It's at my house.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah, that would be great.

That's a great idea.

Okay, you come to my house.

For dinner.

(laughing)

All right.

I'm a tremendous cook.

Okay.

See you later.

All right.

Goodbye.

(sighing)

- We are joined now by Theresa Ford,

Head of the Global Emergency Response

Department at the Ministry of Defence.

Theresa, do you really
thing that SuperBob--

- Excuse me, why won't
SuperBob shake my hand?

Does he hold a grudge
against the United States?

- SuperBob does not hold any
resentment against anyone.

He is a very warm and kind man.

- You have no control over SuperBob.

- Of course I do.

- All right, where was he today?

- He was resting, Senator
Jackson, in accordance--

- SuperBob hates America.

- SuperBob does not hate
America, SuperBob loves America.

He loves your country,
he loves your culture.

Plinky plonky, country and western,

he can't get enough of it.

You know, big shoulder pads.

American football.

Men with cagey, head helmet hats.

Peanut butter and jelly.

(upbeat big band music)

- I do not believe it.

Why is your Momma going
around telling everybody that

you are a couple for?

You're not her type.

Doris like the strong,
assertive, virile type.

You know, the Javier type.

(laughing)

- Well, maybe I impressed her.

- Yes.

How did you impress me?

- Without being arrogant,

I am a superhero.

I mean, that's--

- I never think of you as a superhero.

- You never think of me as a superhero?

- Never.

- Okay, well, not that, then.

- So, how the two of you get together?

- Just the usual.

Just,

Doris asked me out, and--

- I didn't ask you out!

You asked me out.

- Oh, I don't remember
exactly, it doesn't matter.

- It doesn't matter?

Oh, come on, Bob, it's romantic.

Bob has been obsessed
with me for a long time.

- Obsessed is a strong word.

- Always watching me around the house.

- [Bob] Oh.

- Always waiting for
me to pick up something

from the floor so he could look at my ass.

- I wouldn't, I didn't do
that because I'm a feminist.

- When I say he likes my ass--

- I don't like you ass,
I've never looked at it.

- You do not like her ass?

- Always watching me eat bananas.

- Have you seen her eat a banana?

She eats bananas with the skin on.

Of course I watch, it's weird.

- And then after a few weeks I came in,

and the whole house
smells of patchouli oil.

Didn't it, Bob?

- Yep.

- And Bob is standing there
in this big, pink ong.

- Was it one of mine?

- What?

- He was like that when he was younger.

Always stealing my knickers.

- Mum, when are you going to let that go?

It was once, and I was four.

- It doesn't matter how old you were.

You still stole my knickers.

- I did not steal you knickers, Mum!

- Why would you stole
your mother's knickers?

- I didn't steal her knickers!

- Sounds like you stole her knickers.

- All right!

I stole her knickers, Is everyone happy?

Can we move on?

- Do you feel better now, Bobby?

- Yes.

So there we were, in the kitchen,

and I said to Doris,

- Four words.

- Four words.

- Four perfect words.

- Of course they were perfect, I said,

I said,

"You complete me, Doris."

- No, silly, that is from a film!

- From a film.

I said,

- Come on!

- I said--

- What did you say?

- I said, "Nobody puts Baby,"

I didn't say that, it sounds a bit,

I said, "I love your face.

"I love your face!"

That is what said.

Because it was poignant.

- Isn't he adorable?

- He's not my type.

(siren wailing)

- [Man Over Radio] We have a
major accident with multiple

vehicles on the A205 westbound.

Multiple vehicles, multiple injured.

- I'd better...

(helicopters circling)
(sirens wailing)

- Senator Jackson, I have complete

control over Bob's movements.

- You have no--

- I know where he is, at all times.

- I'm terribly sorry to
have to interrupt you there,

but we're getting reports
of a large car crash

in South London,

SuperBob is actually
reported to be on the scene.

Which if true, Theresa,

would be a direct contravention
of his UN sanctioned

Tuesday day off.

Would it not?

- Well, it would if, if--

- Well, it would, wouldn't it?

- This, this is exactly
what I am talking about.

- [Theresa] I have to go.

- He is not allowed to--

- [Theresa] Start the bloody chopper!

- [Senator Jackson] He is not
allowed to work on Tuesdays!

Rogue WMD.

We are at their mercy.

- [Woman] Help, please!

- She's got a puncture to her left lung.

- Get out of here now.

This has nothing to do with the MOD.

- I can help.

- You cannot work on your
day off, that is the law.

You have to be seen to
be following orders.

Bob!

Do not disobey your government.

Do not disobey me, Bob.

Walk away.

- [Woman] Please.

Please, help me!

- Don't do it, Bob.

(dramatic orchestral music)

- It's okay.

It's all right.

(dramatic orchestral music)

- [Senator Jackson] He
just let that woman die.

- [News Anchor] He doesn't
have psychic powers, Senator.

He's just a man.

- [Senator Jackson] He is not just a man.

He has these powers and they should

be used in the right way.

You people are sitting
on the greatest discovery

of this century and
you are squandering it.

Why is Great Britain
allowed an unsanctioined WMD

while the rest of us just
got to sit around and wait

and see what he is gonna snap?

- [Doris] Bob.

- Sorry, I forgot my keys.

- No, no, that's fine.

I was in the area buying lemons.

Listen, I didn't get them,
when we were in the care home

Javier got into this
big argument with Tomas

for waking him up for lunch.

That is because he has his clock fast.

And then when we gave
him the food, he said,

he complained about the food, he said

he would only eat cake.

But you know this makes him hyperactive.

Do you remember Nora?

The one with the harelip?

She likes to be the one
to put out the cutlery.

And the cutlery wasn't there.

So, Nora went absolutely insane

And Javier was like,

I have always emptied the dishwasher!

There is no reason to
believe I would forget

to do it this afternoon!

Why?

Why today?

Explain to me why today I
would have forgotten it.

- It was really tough today.

Really tough.

It's always tough.

(footsteps approaching)

How ya, Barry?

- Hi, Barry.

- [Barry] I'll go and have a bath then.

(knocking on door)

- Who is this?

- Shit, it's June.

- Why is she here?

- She's coming for dinner.

- Oh, I see.

Go.

- I'm going to--

- To your room, go to your room.

You have to clean up.

- [Bob] Barry, please get
out, I have to shower.

- [Barry] I ain't finished yet.

Can you move up?

- [Doris] Good evening, June.

- Hey.

- [Doris] Welcome to Bob's house.

I'm Doris, I work here.

- Hello.

- Please come in.

You're welcome.

- Thank you.

- May I present, Bob Kenner.

- [Bob] Doris, don't make a deal of it.

- [June] You look really handsome.

- Thank you.

- [June] Hi.

- Hi.

How are you?

- Okay.

I'll leave your papers there.

Do you have your keys?

- Yep.

- Do you need something?

- Nope.

(door slamming)

- Oh, mind the door!

- Are you all right?

- [Doris] Easy, I mind the door.

I'm fine.

- Did you bang your head?

- [Doris] No, I'm fine.

- [Bob] Are you bleeding?

- [Doris] No, I'm fine.

Have fun.

(door closing)

(laughing)

- You do look very nice.

- Thank you.

So do you, you look very green.

- Green?

(laughing)

- Like a good green.

- Okay.

- Can you hang on a second?

Just one second.

- Yeah.

- I promise I'll be quick.

- Okay.

- [Bob] Okay.

- Okay.

- Let's do this.

Let's do a date.

(light guitar music)

Right, you sit down,

okay.

Oh my God!

What's the smell?

- Okay, I'll open it.

Ready?

- Ugh, ugh!

Is that manure?

- No, that, It's leaves.

- Right, leaves.

- And what they're made into?

(laughing)

- I do not know.

- Okay, why's it got windows?

- Are those windows?

- Yeah.

- [June] That looks like maggots.

- No, that's not a,

that's a house.

A house.

House of leaves!

The House of Leaves.

The House of Leaves.

- I love it.

- Good.

- Mm-hm.

I really love it, it's very sweet.

- Good.

- Oh my God, I love it!

- Great.

- Why House of Leaves?

- It's your favourite book.

- My favourite book is House of Cards.

- That is so much easier.

(laughing)

That is, that is amazing.

(laughing)

I'm glad you ate your noodles.

- You ate loads.

Look at how much you ate, here.

You're gonna be full.

- Mm-hmm.

- [June] Yeah.

- Very full.

- You're gonna feel bloated.

- Yeah.

- Are you comfortable with, like, farting?

- Excuse me?

- [June] You know, like, if I winded you?

- Like a baby?

- [June] Yeah.

- Uh.

(laughing)

I, no.

No, oh, you were joking.

- [June] Yeah.

- That would really upset me.

- [June] It really would upset me,

- Okay.

- I mean, not that much, because I'd be

totally cool with it,
if you wanted to, but--

- I really don't want you to wind me

like a baby and make me fart.

(light guitar music)

- I mean, it was everywhere, so we had to

cover the stain with a pile of books,

but the guy he couldn't even see anyway,

so we totally got away with it.

(laughing)

Just--

- That is amazing.

- Yeah.

- That's crazy times.

(laughing)

- I have a cleaner for things like that.

- Yeah, you mentioned.

- What would you have used?

- [June] Me?

- If you had to, to get out the stain?

What would you have used?

- I don't know.

- Like a powder?

Or a spray?

Or mousse?

A mousse thing?

(light guitar music)

- [June] You really can't get drunk?

- It's to do with my
veins, they are impervious.

- Impervious.

- Mm-hm.

- Im-perrrr-vious.

- Yeah.

- I'm gonna get impervious
with you, you filthy animal.

- Can I get you some water?

Can I get you some of this?

- [June] Ooh, I like your drapes.

(light orchestral music)

(laughing)

- June.

- [June] Yeah?

- You're a really lovely
woman, and you're beautiful.

- Thanks.

You're not so bad yourself, SuperBob.

I thought you were gonna
be one of those people

who was like, above everyone else.

You know.

Because you can fly.

But you're not.

You're real, like me.

Will you kiss me?

- I can't.

- Why?

We already did.

- I'm sorry, I can't do this.

- [June] Do what?

It's just a kiss.

- I can't continue with this date,

it wouldn't be right.

It's nothing that you've done.

I don't want to take advantage of you.

- I don't mind.

- I want to take advantage of Doris.

I didn't mean it like that, I want...

What I mean is, I want to be with Doris.

- Oh, just kiss her, you fucking plank.

- Barry, I didn't ask for your input.

- [Barry] She's fit.

- I like Doris.

- Very fit.

- Where have you been all night?

- I'm keeping me eye on the gnomes.

- I didn't know I had gnomes.

- Yeah, you've got two.

- June, listen.

- Bob, what I--

(knocking on door)

Oh my god.

They're here.

- Who's here?

- Uh, how does my hair look?

- Your hair looks fine, why?

Who's here?

- Shoes.

Okay, okay, okay.

- [Man] Good evening, Bob.

- [Bob] Hello.

- June.

Now, have you finished all your paperwork?

- Let's go, darling,
let's get you dressed.

- [Bob] Darling?

- [Man] Off.

- [Bob] Are we going somewhere?

- [Man] Oh yes.

- Why is she calling me darling?

Sorry, I just, didn't
I just say something?

- Don't mind me.

- You didn't hear.

Okay.

His hands are down my pants,
why is that happening?

- Just enjoy it, babe.

- [Bob] Why am I wearing this?

- [Man] It's the internationally
approved uniform, Bob.

- [Bob] They approved this?

Were they blindfolded?

- [Man] We have to show willing, okay,

it's time to make ties.

- [June] Yes, I'm aware it sounds strange.

She told me not to make it to that lunch.

- [Bob] Theresa told you not to come?

- [June] That you wouldn't
make it, and that we would

go to this thing tonight.

- Okay, so I don't even know what this is.

I don't have time for any of this,

I've got to do the most
important thing I've ever done.

Theresa, why am I here?

- It doesn't matter.

- What's going on, why am I
dressed like a New Romantic?

June told me you stopped her from coming

to lunch, she told me everything.

- Yes, I have pulled a
lot of strings today,

Do you have any idea the nightmare

your no stunt has caused me?

- Theresa, we need to talk about this.

- I spoke to June, yes.

For the greater good, okay?

And it's all fine.

- Is it?

- Oh, Bob.

We're good at this.

This is what we do.

We save the world.

(light orchestral music)

(group chattering)

(group applauding)

Bob, this is Xiang Chao
from the Chinese Senate.

He's here to talk about a
set-down on nuclear policies.

- Nice to meet you.

(speaking foreign language)

- George Pardumo from Greece.

- Please to meet you.

- Yeah, it's nice to...

Theresa, this is not an explanation.

- Dane Abudaui.

- Hello, Dane.

- Are you in a mood?

- Yeah, I'm in a mood,
because you told me--

- Dallas Tango.

- What?

- Super to meet you

- Nice to meet you.

What do you mean, what?

- This is the French
Senator, Eleusi Savoir.

- Uh, enchante.

- We knew that you liked June, Bob.

It was obvious to anyone.

All that hanging around the library.

- So you manipulated her.

- I did not.

No.

She really does like
you, just take a look.

- It's true, I do.

- Are you all right?

- There's nothing sinister
going on here, Bob.

I just needed to make
sure that she was okay.

I'm just looking out for you.

- It's not looking out
for me if you make her

go out with me.

It's not real.

- You are sounding paranoid.

- Well, she did ask me to ask you out.

But I would have asked you out anyway.

- Stand down, June, just
stand down and smile.

- Oh, so, there you go
Theresa, this has to stop.

I need my own life back.

- This is the dignitary
from Rome, Giuseppe Kotelo.

(speaking foreign language)

- Thank you.

(camera shutters clicking)

- I really think you should
give June a chance she really

does have an awful lot to recommend her.

- I want Doris.

- What?

- My cleaner.

- I know who she is, Bob.

Come and shake the hand, don't.

Nevermind.

- I've decided, if she will let me,

I want to be with Doris.

- Ah!

Is this Doris?

- No, this is not--

- Yes!

(speaking foreign language)

(laughing)

- Doris is from Colombia.

You just can't be with
anyone from Colombia.

- Why not?

- It's complicated.

And she's a cleaner.

It's really not the right narrative.

You should be with June.

June's fun.

And she's American.

- But I don't want to be with June.

- Bob, she's right there.

- It's fine, I've told her.

- It's fine.

- Are you all right?

- Okay, you don't have
to be with her, Bob.

You just have to stand near her sometimes.

It's what we need.

- Who is we?

- The United Kingdom.

Great Britain.

The MOD.

You.

All of us.

Now you need to start
listening to me again.

It was a very bad decision

you made not to shake
hands with the Senator.

- Oh.

- Alexis Sanjiv, this is SuperBob.

- Okay so that's what this is about.

All right.

Okay, thank you.

- Sometimes saving the world
isn't about flying into danger,

sometimes it's about making
sacrifices of your own.

Do you have any idea the
sacrifices I've made?

- June!

Seriously, I do not know how
I could make this any clearer.

This is weird.

Do I not get to have love?

- June, could you just
give us a moment please?

- Yes, of course.

- Let's talk about Doris.

- Please.

- Do you know what is right for her?

- Yes.

- Not you, what is right for Doris.

- Yes, of course I do.

- [Theresa] What does she want, Bob?

- She wants...

- She wants a nursery in Colombia,

that is what she's always wanted.

And this is Colonel Matayzu.

- Bob, Bob, Bob,

It is an honour to meet you.

We are so looking forward
to having your help

in combating the uprising in our country.

- Why am I here, Theresa?

- Bob, what do you think
this Weapons Summit is about?

- I hadn't seen that.

- You're the only weapon
anyone cares about.

And this is Senator Jackson.

- Bob Kenner!

I am so pleased you've
decided to play ball,

and obviously I'm delighted
to hear about your

union to this lovely American lady.

(laughing)

- Is this the man who needed
a handshake earlier today?

- Well, yeah, but we're all good now.

(laughing)

- Ha, ha, ha, yeah, right.

So, wait,

so all of this, all of this is
so you can have a handshake?

Is that right?

Okay.

- Ha, ha, ha, there ya go.

(camera shutters clicking)

- Was it worth it?

- Hey, I am so glad we could sort

out that Colombia situation.

- What Colombia situation?

- Your cleaner.

We bought her a nursery!

And a first class ticket
for Bogota, next flight.

(patriotic orchestral music)

- You sent her away?

- It's what you wanted, right?

- Are you joking?

- I thought you said you wanted
what was right for her, Bob.

- Hey, he wants what's right
for all of us, don't you, Bob?

- Yeah.

Just like you wanted a handshake.

- Hey, everybody is here
to broker a real sweet deal

for you, Bob.

This is gonna be a lot
of money in it for you.

(grunting)

- I'm just shaking your hand.

Just like you wanted.

- Bob.

- And SuperBob, our very own
Bob Kenner is here today,

(ominous orchestral music)

- Is this the handshake you wanted?

(bob crying)

- Bob Kenner!

Put Senator Jackson down now!

- It is supposed to be my day off!

(all screaming)

(alarm blaring)

- [Senator Jackson] I don't
care if you bring him down

or not, just shoot the bastard!

- [Female Reporter] Uncomfirmed
reports are coming in about

an explosion at the Ministry of Defence.

- [Male Reporter] The explosion
at the Ministry of Defence

was caused by SuperBob.

- London is tonight on
high alert as Superbob--

- Police and military
forces around the world are

combining their efforts
to track down SuperBob.

- We have not lost control of SuperBob.

Everyone is to stay calm,

and not jump to conclusions.

- Right.

So, where exactly is he?

- I can't tell you that.

- [Male Reporter] There have
been uncomfirmed sightings

of SuperBob in New York, Tokyo, Bogotá.

- I'm looking for somebody,
her name is Doris.

She'll be on a flight from England.

- Uh, what is her last name?

- Ohhh, that is something I should know.

My Mum would know.

Can I call my Mum?

Guh!

I know where she is!

- [Woman] My man said he heard mumbling

about someone called Morris.

- [Reporter] Said he
was screaming Forrest!

- [Female Reporter] Apparently
asking for a Florist.

- [Male Reporter] Is or
what he would do next.

- Tensions between the United Kingdom

and the United States of
America have never been higher.

- [News Anchor] The Ecuadoran Embassy

has offered SuperBob political asylum.

- [Male News Anchor] Stay
in your homes, try to hide.

Whatever he has planned, it
could spell disaster for us all.

- Doris.

We're meant to be together.

I don't even feel like I have to say it,

because I feel like you probably know.

'Cause I know, and I think
I've probably always known.

(suspenseful orchestral music)

- The MOD is assuring the public

that SuperBob is not--

- The British government asking
the public to remain calm.

- [Female Reporter] Military helicopters

are at high alert, ready to strike.

- [Woman] Peckham High Street, where

he allegedly bought a Wham Bar.

- I do, I do love your face.

I said it before and
it sounded like a joke,

But I mean it.

I like your face,

I like what it does.

I like what it has to say, and you know,

I like everything with the face,

I wouldn't want a face in a jar,

just looking at me,

- [Male Reporter] A huge
number of witnesses report

seeing SuperBob landing in Peckham.

- [Female Reporter] Police are heading

towards the Peckham area.

- [Woman] Someone claims
he was eating a Wham Bar.

- The international man hunt
is zeroing in on Peckham.

South London.

- [News Anchor] The Prime
Minister has asked for SuperBob

to surrender himself immediately.

- Okay, don't say any of that.

Do not.

Don't open your mouth,

Just, just walk in, and, try and kiss her.

(sighing)

- The MOD has described it
as a diplomatic nightmare.

Authorities say that if Kenner can not

be stopped, he can at least be contained.

- [Bob] Doris!

- You came to see me again!

- [Bob] What?

No,

I haven't come to see you, Mum.

- [Mom] Charming.

- [Doris] What are you doing here, Bob?

Where's June?

- Why are you asking me about June?

I'm here to see you.

- [Mom] You came to see me.

- I haven't come to see you, Mum.

I already saw you today!

- A short while ago security
cameras caught SuperBob

arriving outside of
his Mother's care home.

- [News Anchor] The authorities
have been mobilised.

- I went all the way to Colombia,

then I went to the airport,

there were no flights to Colombia tonight.

- I know.

- I know you know, that's why you're here!

- A large crowd has gathered
outside the care home,

And it appears local residents are not

letting the authorities inside.

- SuperBob has been
very good to us, right?

After all he's done to
us, he's a Peckham People.

Peckham People!

- A Gospel choir has formed a human shield

around the care home.

It's a stand-off in Peckham.

- What is all this trouble?

- This trouble?

It's because of you.

- Don't bring me into your mess, Bob.

I am nothing to do with your mess.

If you think I'm
responsible for any of this,

then you are very disrespectful
of me, of my culture,

- [Bob] Doris, please

shut up for a minute!

- He's been hiding inside,
I'm going to try to

get in there, see if I can
have a chat or a word with him.

- He deserves--

- I've come here to be nice to you.

I need to tell you something.

(footsteps approaching)

- Hey, Bob.

- You know Javier.

- Yeah.

- Javier just--

- Good to see you again.

- Hey, Javi.

Do you work and night shift as well?

- No, Bob.

Maybe you will understand this.

I found out Doris was
going to leave for Colombia

And I realised something
I think I've always known.

We are meant to be together.

And I know it.

Doris knows it.

All of Peckham knows it,

It's so blindingly obvious,

it was staring me in the face.

And I spent too long just
doing what I was told,

scared to say no to anything.

Scared to stand up for myself.

And then I heard that she was leaving

and I thought now is the
time for me to say no.

No, Doris.

I do not want you to leave.

I want you here

with me.

Do you understand this, Bob?

- Yeah, I have some idea, yeah.

- After all, I love your face.

- Oh, fuck off.

- Is Bob inside?

- Yes, he is inside.

- Okay, what's he doing in there?

- None of your business,
it's something important.

- That's great news, congratulations.

- [Javier] Thank you, Bob.

- Well I don't know why
I'm hanging around here,

he loves your face.

This is stupid, I should go.

- [Doris] Bob.

- What?

- What did you want to say to me?

(light guitar music)

- I just wanted to say goodbye.

- Goodbye, Bob.

- Thank you.

For everything.

- Goodbye.

- Goodbye.

♪ It's the end ♪

♪ Of the world ♪

- Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

I think that's enough goodbye.

Oh, good to catch up, Bob.

Take care.

- What did you want to say to me?

- I think you should go.

- What?

- To Colombia, I think you should go.

- You see, this is why I love you, Doris.

I would never want you to leave.

- For the kids.

You were supposed to be
working with children,

you have a gift for it.

- How do you know that, you
have never seen me with a child?

- You looked after me for three years.

- You want me to go?

- Yeah.

- But, I could come with you.

- How?

- I can fly faster than a speeding bullet,

I can work from anywhere.

- [Ted] True.

- You know what, I could come with you,

I have family there.

That's easier, Doris.

Maybe he's right.

You should help the kids.

- He makes a good point.

- We can get a house.

I could work from there.

- [Ted] True.

- Yes, but the visa application, Bob.

It's very impractical.

I am resident, Doris, so, much easier.

- We should go.

- [Doris] The MOD will not like it.

- Oh, fuck the MOD.

- [Mom] Language!

- You would do that for me?

- Take my hand.

- Mmm, not flying.

- We'll walk.

- I'm very strong.

- I'm fuckin' invulnerable.

- But you see Doris, I am vulnerable.

- I can fly.

- I have a nice car.

- I hate flying.

- She hates the flying.

- I'm gonna kill you, mate.

(groaning)

Let's go.

- Ah, my bag.

- [Javier] Ai, cabrone!

- I'm so sorry, Javier, I've
been crushing hands all day.

That is really unlike me,
that was out of order.

You seem like a nice man.

- [Doris] Goodbye, Mrs. Kenner.

- I wish you all the
best, we are gonna go.

- Good.

- I love you, Mum.

- I love you too.

- [Bob] Bye, Ted.

- And you know what would
make me happy, don't you?

- [Bob] What's that, Mum?

- Grandchildren!

- [Bob] Oh, God.

The one thing I don't need
in bed is more pressure.

- Is the Jamaican girl still here?

(upbeat rock music)

- [Reporter] A
whistleblower within the MOD

has stated that no one

in the department has any idea
what SuperBob will do next.

The MOD strenuously
denying this allegation,

They insist that there is
no reason to panic but,

for the time being, he
remains unaccounted for.

♪ Just one dance with you ♪

♪ Before this world melts down ♪

- Why is Bob hiding?

- He's not hiding.

He's doing something important
that does not concern you.

- [Reporter] The world
waits to see what will

happen when SuperBob emerges.

- All of you, all of
you just take liberties,

and you come in here to exploit SuperBob.

- The people of Peckham
they are blocking all

the doors to the care
home here, as you can see,

and failing to allow any
of the authorities inside.

♪ It's the end ♪

♪ Of the world ♪

♪ Of the world ♪

♪ Ahhh ♪

- Okay.

So--

(gun firing)

(people screaming)

What are you doing?

Jesus Christ,

that is very dangerous!

- I'm sorry, I'm really sorry.

- I'm invincible, what do
you think you're doing?

That is really dangerous.

There are children about!

- I'm sorry everyone.

Really sorry.

I've thrown the whole mood down.

- Don't fire a gun, why is all this?

It's a complete waste of money.

This is ruined.

I sleep in this!

You all look very foolish.

There's something very important

I have to say, if you don't mind.

I am resigning from the MOD.

I am going freelance.

I am no longer the property of Britain.

And there's gonna be no more forms.

No more fucking forms.

There, I said it.

I don't like forms, all right?

There's going to be none of them.

What?

- [Man] Self-assessment forms.

- What's it?

- [Man] You go freelance you have

to use self-assessment forms.

- Are you serious?

Right.

There's going to be one form.

There's going to be one form,
but that doesn't matter.

You don't need to worry about it.

That's not really the point.

The point is, look,

If any of you are in
trouble, and you need help,

contact me and I will help you.

I don't know how you contact me,

we used to have a system
when I was with the MOD.

Now we don't have, so,
maybe we have a thing that

flashes, like a red and, uh,

okay, fuck it!

07700900249.

That's my number.

All right?

You can call me, and I will help you.

But don't abuse the--

(phone ringing)

it's already ringing.

Okay.

I will not deliver pizzas,

I'm saying that on live TV.

That is off the table.

I would like some time off.

(light guitar music)

Someone very special in my life.

I would like to try and make her happy.

If any of you are in trouble

and you need help, you call me.

And I will save you.

I am not a civil servant.

I'm SuperBob.

(crowd cheering)

Doris,

let's go.

- Bob.

- Bye, Theresa.

♪ Just one dance with you ♪

♪ Before this world melts down ♪

♪ Just one last dance with you ♪

♪ While we're still around ♪

♪ Just one dance with you ♪

♪ Before this world melts down ♪

♪ Just one last dance with you ♪

♪ Just one last dance
while we're still around ♪

- [Bob] Hey!

- [John] Hi.

- [Bob] How are you guys?

- [John] Good, how are you?

- [Bob] Good.

- [John] Great.

You look really good.

- So do you.

Growing a beard.

- [John] Thank you.

So here we are.

Are you happy?

- Am I happy?

- We don't need words.

We don't need to see each other to know.

We, you know?

We built a home together.

We've got a home that we live in.

- Am I happy?

- I have been moved to Afghanistan.

A relief.

Very happy about that.

(jet passing)

You've no idea what my life was

like before, a constant firefight.

Afghanistan, this is easy.

This is a joy.

This is a delight.

(bomb exploding)

(alarm blaring)

They'll be fine.

- She's a nightmare.

She literally never shuts
up, she doesn't stop talking.

You have to send help,
I can't take it anymore.

- What did you say?

- Nothing.

I will see these films, you know?

- Yeah.

- So why did you say something?

- 'Cause I'm an idiot?

- 'Cause you are an idiot.

- Okay.

Come here.

(phone ringing)

(growling)

Hello?

Okay, where are you?

- Hasta luego.

- [Bob] Hi.

- Go.

Save the world.

(wind whooshing)

Hi, Barry.

♪ Rolling on the wind like a ghost ♪

♪ I'm blessed and I'm kindred ♪

♪ I'm a hero that nobody ♪

♪ Nobody knows ♪

(upbeat piano music)

- We're looking at the rock,
the meteor if you like,

that struck Bob from Peckham Rye Park.

It could hold the key to his powers.

If we find the answer to that,

there's no telling what we could do.

- [John] Have you found anything?

- No.

Six years, absolutely fuck-all.

It might as well be a purple turd.

- So I had another accident at work,

and Bob turned up, and it
was just a superb experience.

Got me out safely, lovely small talk,

made sure I was okay,

Didn't have to fill in any forms,

and didn't stink of onions.

So, thank you, Bob.

- [John] Is he in there now?

- No, he's not in there now.

- [John] Sorry.

- I mean, it's a proverbial home.

- [John] I see.

- You know?

I mean, who writes your questions, man?

- [John] Sorry.

So you got saved by Bob
again, what was that like?

- Yeah, I fell down a pothole.

I got my leg trapped.

He came, was very swift.

Utterly charming, affable,

looks great, and was just lovely.

Just a really lovely experience.

I'm really happy.

- [John] So got a little
thing for him, have you?

- I'm married.

- [John] It's impressive
you know SuperBob.

- Saw the bloke from Birds of a Feather

about three weeks ago
just down Stevenage Road.

You know, just, whatever.

♪ Oooh, you know ♪

♪ Do not pass ♪

♪ Pass my by ♪

♪ King of kings ♪

♪ Do not pass ♪

♪ Jesus Christ ♪

♪ Do not, do not pass my by ♪

♪ Pass me by ♪

♪ Do not, do not pass me by ♪

♪ Pass me by ♪

♪ Do not, do not pass me by ♪

♪ Pass me by ♪

♪ Do not, do not pass me by ♪

♪ Pass me by ♪

♪ Do no, do not pass me by ♪

♪ Pass me by ♪

♪ Do not, do not pass me by ♪

♪ Pass me by ♪

♪ Do not, do not pass me by ♪

♪ Pass me by ♪

♪ Do not, do not pass me by ♪

♪ Pass me by ♪

♪ Why, oh not the sky before me ♪

♪ 'Fore me ♪

♪ Do not pass me by ♪

♪ Yes, my Lord, I'm asking please ♪

♪ Do not pass me by ♪

♪ Saviour ♪

♪ Saviour ♪

♪ Saviour ♪

♪ Yes, I'm waiting for the ♪

♪ In my heart ♪

♪ Ahhhh ♪

♪ Oh, you've got to ♪

♪ Oh, the sky before me ♪

♪ 'Fore me ♪

♪ Do not pass me by ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Do not pass me by ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Do not pass me by ♪

♪ Thank you, father ♪

♪ Please don't pass us by ♪

♪ Do not pass me by ♪

♪ Ah, Jesus ♪

- Doesn't it fly by?

Doesn't it?

Doesn't it though, like, whoosh.