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1
00:00:00,530 --> 00:00:03,640
Jane, do you love me?
Of course I love you Johnny!
2
00:00:03,830 --> 00:00:06,330
Then make love with me!
I'm tired of waiting.
3
00:00:06,510 --> 00:00:07,550
Well, I'm not ready yet, Johnny.
4
00:00:08,270 --> 00:00:10,430
It's only been an hour since the abortion.
5
00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:14,820
Beer for breakfast?
You're getting a beer belly!
6
00:00:15,180 --> 00:00:19,320
It's not jut beer...
it's...BEER ROIDS!
7
00:00:19,850 --> 00:00:21,740
Aww, look at the cute dog!
8
00:00:23,220 --> 00:00:24,380
Ahhhhh!
Ahhhhh! Gross!
Ahhhhhhh!!
9
00:00:25,780 --> 00:00:27,220
What the fuuuuuuck!?
10
00:00:27,900 --> 00:00:29,880
Mr. Pickles!
11
00:00:31,510 --> 00:00:33,290
Mr. Pickles!
12
00:00:34,430 --> 00:00:35,980
Good boy!
13
00:00:36,450 --> 00:00:37,980
He's a dog!
14
00:00:38,220 --> 00:00:40,090
People's Best Friend!
15
00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:45,730
Mr. Pickles!
16
00:00:46,610 --> 00:00:47,810
There you are!
17
00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:51,970
Good boy!
18
00:00:55,900 --> 00:00:58,400
How do you like breakfast dear?
Disgusting!
19
00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:02,840
Says here, they're turning half the
hardware store into a strip club.
Really!?
20
00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:04,210
Ah, the world is changing!
21
00:01:04,330 --> 00:01:08,540
You know, nowadays parents teach kids
to use microwaves instead of how to fish!
22
00:01:08,820 --> 00:01:11,830
Dad can you teach me how to fish!
No son, I have to work.
23
00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:12,520
Why?
24
00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:16,970
Your father is a telemarketer.
Salesman! I'm a telephone salesman.
25
00:01:17,210 --> 00:01:20,230
Yes dear.
You see Tommy, sometimes you have to adapt,
26
00:01:20,300 --> 00:01:22,680
or you will become extinct like here the Donkey-bird.
27
00:01:22,990 --> 00:01:27,370
Says here, anybody able to prove it still exists
will get their picture in the paper.
28
00:01:27,750 --> 00:01:30,770
The Donkey-bird!? Maybe Mr. Pickles and I can find him!
29
00:01:30,910 --> 00:01:33,390
And get our picture in the papers...like Mom!
30
00:01:33,690 --> 00:01:35,610
No! That dog is evil!
31
00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:40,380
Here we go again. Dad!
I found dirty magazines in your room this morning.
32
00:01:40,690 --> 00:01:43,590
Huh!?
You should be ashamed!
Wait! I can explain!
33
00:01:44,210 --> 00:01:48,500
Last night I woke up to Mr. Pickles
outside in a pentagram of fire!
34
00:01:48,690 --> 00:01:50,060
Then I followed him into town.
35
00:01:50,270 --> 00:01:56,050
He grabbed a nice lady behind the dumpster
and scalped her! Cut off her legs and used as stilts!
36
00:01:56,200 --> 00:02:00,320
Put on a dance show, and walked into
the gas station with a bunch of money!
37
00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:03,970
I, I, I went home to tell everybody
but there he was! In my room!
38
00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:10,900
Drinking Vodka, huffing gas
and rubbing his PUD on my bed
while looking at dirty magazines.
39
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:14,740
Hey! Woof!
And that's how they got there!
That's all I remembered...
40
00:02:15,210 --> 00:02:19,930
You and your crazy stories, you're really losing it in your old age.
Oh, I'll prove it!
41
00:02:20,090 --> 00:02:23,600
You'll see!
Besides, Mr. Pickles is a little angel.
42
00:02:24,020 --> 00:02:27,800
Well Tommy, how about you go sign up to the Troop Scouts?
43
00:02:28,090 --> 00:02:31,770
It says here, they're going on an expedition to the Great Outdoors today.
44
00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:34,710
What do you think about that, Mr. Pickles!?
45
00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:38,270
Woof!
Oh, Mr. Pickles sure is excited.
46
00:02:38,870 --> 00:02:40,450
Come on, Mr. Pickles!
47
00:02:40,670 --> 00:02:43,730
Today is going to be a great adventure!
48
00:02:45,630 --> 00:02:47,080
Whoa, cool!
49
00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:49,670
Hello, Preacher Pettibone!
Nice to see you today!
50
00:02:49,950 --> 00:02:51,760
Hey, get off the road man!
Why, hiya there!
51
00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:55,110
Mr. Pickles, are you thirsty?
Why you call him Mr. Pickles?
52
00:02:55,430 --> 00:02:59,400
Because he loooves pickles!
and he gets one everytime he's a good boy.
53
00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:02,430
Well get him off my breakfast.
We're off to find the Donkey-bird.
54
00:03:02,870 --> 00:03:04,220
We're gonna be famous!
55
00:03:06,730 --> 00:03:09,060
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Well, hello there Tommy!
What's popping young brother?
56
00:03:09,300 --> 00:03:10,360
Hi Mr. Bojenkins!
57
00:03:10,820 --> 00:03:16,300
Say Tommy, I need someone to watch my pitbulls
while I get some uhh...hardware tooools!
58
00:03:16,301 --> 00:03:19,000
Grrrr! Grrrr!
.yad ecin a evah uoy epoh I .hcum yrev uoy evol I!
*whimper whimper*
59
00:03:19,510 --> 00:03:22,580
Sorry, Mr. Bojenkins, I'm going to the Great Outdoors!
60
00:03:22,780 --> 00:03:26,170
OK! Be careful out there you hear!
Holler at your boy, my neighbor!
61
00:03:28,980 --> 00:03:32,270
How! Me Chief Bob!
I am Tommy and this is Mr. Pickles
62
00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:36,230
and we want to go to the Great Outdoors!
Chief Bob not interested!
63
00:03:36,870 --> 00:03:41,450
But I walked all the way from home!
Well I don't care you piece of dung!
Quit harassing me or I'll shove
64
00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:46,000
my rainstick so far up your ass
you'll crap lightning bolts!
65
00:03:46,300 --> 00:03:49,590
Uhh, sorry, young white man.
Darn telemarketers.
66
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:50,250
*hangs up*
67
00:03:50,340 --> 00:03:54,570
Hmmm...
No sale yet, deadman?
Last week you couldn't sell 4-wheeler tanning bed. OK?
68
00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:58,060
I'm sorry, but I try...
What! I'm sorry, didn't catch that.
No, OK, no.
69
00:03:58,190 --> 00:04:03,300
If you don't make a sale today, you're fired!
But who would buy a hot tub air balloon?
70
00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:06,500
Ah, you put a logo on something and idiots will buy it.
71
00:04:06,700 --> 00:04:07,750
*slurp*
72
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:11,270
Now show me you got what it takes
to be here, amongst the best!
73
00:04:11,850 --> 00:04:13,410
I'm drinking mayonnaise.
74
00:04:13,980 --> 00:04:18,520
Hmmm, that can't be good for you Floyd.
It's low fat, now I'm on a diet.
*squeezes bottle*
75
00:04:18,750 --> 00:04:21,620
Troop Scouts aboard! Off we gooo!
76
00:04:22,070 --> 00:04:25,550
Nice legs freak, what did your mom bang the tin man?
Hahahahahahaha! Grrrrr!
77
00:04:31,830 --> 00:04:33,220
Huh? Uhh!
78
00:04:34,830 --> 00:04:37,220
I got you now, you dumb dog!
79
00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:46,730
Linda, what are you selling today?
Mrs. Goodman, I uhh got some new products
in for my faaavorite customer.
80
00:04:47,530 --> 00:04:51,400
I, I, I, I paid two dollars for
this electrical brush, brand new!
81
00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:54,910
Hmmm, sorry, Mr. Goodman doesn't like
modern devices around the house.
82
00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:58,150
Huh!?
Got to go make a pie now, bye Linda.
Wait! Wait!
83
00:04:58,330 --> 00:05:02,500
Uhh, uhh well how 'bout this electric pie mixster?
84
00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:04,670
Oh nice, how much?
50 dollars.
85
00:05:05,110 --> 00:05:09,280
Sheriff, come quick!
I have proof Mr. Pickles is a, murderer!
86
00:05:09,660 --> 00:05:17,650
Mr. Pickles again ehh? Weeell I reckon I'll stop by laaater,
I'm investigating a missing person now, official police business.
87
00:05:17,930 --> 00:05:23,010
Now describe your friend again.
Well, she has a tattoo of a dolphin on her ankle.
88
00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:27,100
Thanks Candy, you're the best sister a guy could have.
Thanks brother.
89
00:05:27,750 --> 00:05:29,100
Rake it up! Oh ho ho!
90
00:05:31,190 --> 00:05:33,620
Here we are!
The Great Outdoors!
91
00:05:33,790 --> 00:05:34,750
Huh?
92
00:05:36,500 --> 00:05:42,050
Chief Bob 1% Cherokee & the sun has set.
We camp here amongst stars like my ancestors.
93
00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:46,050
Uhhh hey yah hey yah heeeey~!!
94
00:05:50,500 --> 00:05:52,590
We now return to: Illegal Alien.
95
00:05:52,890 --> 00:05:54,940
Wha? Ahhhhh!! *riiip*
Brrrr ai yi yi yi yi~!
96
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:58,040
Brrr ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Chief Bob! Can we go fishing today?
97
00:05:58,220 --> 00:06:02,250
Owww! Coffee & chili dog fight like
hawk & snake in Chief Bob's stomach!
98
00:06:02,330 --> 00:06:06,630
Ahhh~ I got to crap! Pronto!
Oh...
99
00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:11,550
Hello, Mrs. Goodman.
I hope you don't mind me coming in unannounced now.
100
00:06:12,100 --> 00:06:15,710
Oh, you could cum in...mmmm my mouth...which is full, Sheriff.
101
00:06:16,100 --> 00:06:18,880
Huh?
I apologize, come in whenever you like Sheriff.
102
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:21,280
Sheriff! I thought you never come.
Huh?
103
00:06:21,050 --> 00:06:22,280
Come! *moans*
104
00:06:22,890 --> 00:06:26,500
*moans* Come! Well don't just stand there!
Are you gonna come or not? *moans*
105
00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:28,780
Come on out the back Sheriff!
I got to show you something.
106
00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:33,880
Your crazy stories are making it really
HARD around here. I'm about to blow!
107
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,340
Sheriff will come when he's good & ready!
107
00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:38,002
*squeeeeeeeeeze*
108
00:06:38,083 --> 00:06:41,999
I think this low-fat mayonnaise diet is really working!.
Eh heh, you want some!?
109
00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:46,708
Not now Floyd.
Oh, if only there was a way to be
out there fishing with Tommy today
110
00:06:47,001 --> 00:06:49,052
and still sell a hot tub air balloon.
111
00:06:49,153 --> 00:06:52,250
OK, why don't we get back to work
and actually earn these paychecks? OK.
112
00:06:52,358 --> 00:06:58,251
Spend it wisely, Goodman. Cuz if you don't make a sale today,
it will be your last one. Hehehehehe!
113
00:06:58,508 --> 00:06:59,888
Get to work, OK?
114
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:03,888
I can't get this last of the mayonnaise out.
It's trapped in here! *panting* It's it's...
115
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,500
Trapped! We're trapped in here!
116
00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:10,850
I say we hit that alien with everything we got!
But all we got is this wooden end of this broomstick!
117
00:07:10,888 --> 00:07:14,257
Ai yi yi yi yi yi~!! *whack* Candy?
118
00:07:14,308 --> 00:07:17,000
That ain't candy, it's multiplying!
119
00:07:17,010 --> 00:07:19,000
*humming*
119
00:07:19,257 --> 00:07:21,155
Chief Bob's really been gone awhile.
120
00:07:21,208 --> 00:07:24,500
*woof* What is it, boy?
Did you find the Donkey-bird?
120
00:07:24,650 --> 00:07:27,528
*woof* Get out of my way, loser!
Huh!?
121
00:07:28,254 --> 00:07:31,009
What are you looking at?
Run for your lives!
121
00:07:31,150 --> 00:07:34,000
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~!!
122
00:07:35,180 --> 00:07:36,210
Come! It's over he..
123
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:39,460
What the? It was right here.
124
00:07:39,670 --> 00:07:42,090
Look!
It's been dragged into those woods!
125
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:45,170
Come, Sheriff!
*sigh* *click*
126
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:50,000
There's no cell phone reception out here.
We're lost!
127
00:07:50,150 --> 00:07:54,280
Mr. Pickles will lead us out of here.
Shut up, that dog is as worthless as your legs!
128
00:07:54,340 --> 00:07:55,500
Hahahaha! Huh?
128
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:57,880
*roar*! Ahhh, ahhhhhhh!
Help! Help!
128
00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,730
Mr. Pickles, help him!
*woof*
129
00:08:03,330 --> 00:08:05,270
!uoy evah tsum I .sdrow dnoybe si tyuaeb rouY
129
00:08:05,990 --> 00:08:08,400
Mr. Pickles, you saved me!
*woof*
I owe you my life!
129
00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:11,270
*rip* Ouch! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! *splat*
130
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:26,000
I can't believe I paid for a hot tub air balloon.
Why? It's just a logo for some dumb new beer!
131
00:08:26,250 --> 00:08:28,250
Tommy must be down there somewhere.
132
00:08:28,750 --> 00:08:32,570
Ain't no sign of that dang Donkey-bird anywhere!
I sure am hungry...
133
00:08:33,888 --> 00:08:36,300
Forget the Donkey-bird!
Look!
134
00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:40,510
That buck must be a million feet tall!
Whoa oh oh!
135
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:41,790
Ahhhhhh!
135
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:44,790
My leg! Oh gosh!
Dad! You came to save us!
136
00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:50,250
Owww! Ow! Ouch! Ohhh! Oh Tommy! Ahem.
My leg is hurt pretty bad son.
137
00:08:50,300 --> 00:08:53,510
Mr. Pickles! Go get help boy!
Go find the Sheriff! *woof*
138
00:08:55,750 --> 00:08:59,480
Please! Help me, Mr. Pickles!
Carry me into town! *woof*
139
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:01,870
Good boy.
Ey, wait!
*crack*
140
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:11,000
Tommy, where's your scout leader?
Oh! He went to sleep, standing up.
141
00:09:11,020 --> 00:09:15,500
Hmm well, how about we go fishing today, son?
Oh boy! But how?
142
00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:19,210
Hmmm...steroid beer. Ehh
I have had about enough of this!
143
00:09:19,330 --> 00:09:22,900
Oh!
Wooow~! So that's how you fish!
143
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:24,300
*bang* Tommy! Get down!
144
00:09:24,580 --> 00:09:28,030
Eh hehehehe! Wha?? You idiot!
That be nothing but a bunch of skin!
144
00:09:28,580 --> 00:09:30,880
Shooo whooooa~! *splat* Ohhhh...
145
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:34,700
Sheriff, you have came!
We heard gun shots! *woof*
146
00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:35,500
Mr. Pickles!
147
00:09:38,008 --> 00:09:42,390
Ah ha! See? I told ya!
There's Mr. Pickles with the leg.
148
00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:46,300
Mr. Pickles found the Donkey-bird.
And he led me right to a murder suspect!
149
00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:49,290
Hey what?
That's the tattoo from the missing stripper!
150
00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:50,560
Get that bird, boys!
151
00:09:51,270 --> 00:09:53,510
*bang/click*
Breaking Neeews!
152
00:09:53,710 --> 00:09:55,890
Hero dog finds killer Donkey-bird.
153
00:09:56,080 --> 00:10:00,000
Also this just in, my new mixtape hot of the press, son!
Holla~
154
00:10:00,220 --> 00:10:02,000
Where my dogs at?
Hey what's up, dawg!
155
00:10:02,250 --> 00:10:04,650
Where my dogs at!?
I'm right here, dawg! Whassup?
156
00:10:04,660 --> 00:10:07,000
No! Where are my dogs!?
157
00:10:07,250 --> 00:10:09,700
*muffled* "Over here~"
Whoo hooo!
Hoe down!
158
00:10:11,540 --> 00:10:16,040
Sounds like you had quite an adventure today, Tommy.
I sure did!
159
00:10:16,210 --> 00:10:19,000
I learned how to fish!
And what else did you learn?
160
00:10:19,010 --> 00:10:25,650
I learn that Donkey-birds kill strippers and eat their flesh!
Well, not anymore. Thanks to Mr. Pickles. *woof*
161
00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:27,630
Good Boy! Mr. Pickles!
162
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:38,878
Urm hmmm...
Eh heh heh heh..uhh!
Ohhhh....ohhh!
162
00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:40,000
Eww! Gross!
163
00:10:40,888 --> 00:10:44,680
Huh!? I got you now you dumb dog.
164
00:10:44,999 --> 00:10:48,600
Come, everybody! That dog is evil!
I can prove it ahhh! Owwww!
165
00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:52,408
Oh great! Now you're drinking too!?
What! Huh!?
166
00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:55,350
You're sleeping out here tonight.
No!
What is the world coming to?
167
00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:57,999
What? I don't remember!
Goodnight grandpa!
168
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,234
Mr. Pickles!
169
00:11:08,474 --> 00:11:10,880
Good boy!
170
00:11:11,097 --> 00:11:12,565
He's a dog!
171
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,514
People's Best Friend!
16140
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