Original subtitles

HaHaHaHa!

SHOULDN'T YOU BE PLAYING OUTSIDE OR SOMETHING?

I'M BORED.

HEY!

[LAUGHING]

STUPID, ROTTEN LITTLE...

[LAUGHING]

[GASPS]

[GROANING]

WHY IS THE GROUND SHAKING?

THAT'S CALLED SHELL SHOCK,

AND THIS IS CALLED A COUP DE GRACE.

[RUMBLING]

WELL, THERE'S SOMETHING YOU DON'T SEE EVERY DAY.

P.A.: COME ONE, COME ALL TO THE CARNIVAL.

OOH! OOH! OOH!

CARNIVAL?!

P.A.: YES, THE CARNIVAL.

AND DON'T FORGET TO BRING A FRIEND.

THAT VOICE... SOUNDS SOMEHOW FAMILIAR.

HELLO! IT'S YOU.

NERGAL.

YOU ARE UNPLEASANT TO BE AROUND.

OH, COME ON.

WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?

HEH HEH HEH. [GULPS]

I MEAN, BESIDES THE KIDNAPPINGS AND THE ELECTROCUTIONS?

GO BACK TO THE CENTER

OF THE WORLD, YOU BUM.

I'M JUST TRYING TO MAKE FRIENDS.

ALL I EVER WANTED IS A FRIEND.

AW, CHEER UP, NERGAL.

THERE'S STILL HOPE.

RIGHT, GUYS?

HOPE IS WASTED ON THE HOPELESS.

SEE? MAKING FRIENDS IS EASY,

AND WE'LL SHOW YOU HOW.

YOU WILL?

HEE HEE! YEAH! USING THE 5 "C" s OF FRIENDSHIP.

Both: THE WHAT?

PEOPLE LIKE YOU MORE WHEN YOU DON'T STINK.

YES!

FEEL THE FRIENDSHIP FLOWING THROUGH YOU!

OOH! OOH! OOH! GOOD!

REMEMBER, IF YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING NICE,

DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL.

Nergal: NICE SHOT, BUCKO.

YOU'RE NOT COMPLETELY HIDEOUS.

YOU'RE TREMENDOUS... LY ADORABLE.

YOU'RE...

YOU...

SOME PEOPLE WILL STOP HATING YOU

IF YOU COMPLIMENT THEM ON THEIR LOOKS.

MY GOODNESS, YOU CUTE LITTLE GIRL.

THAT MIRROR MAKES YOU LOOK PERFECTLY HIDEOUS.

AAH!

[CRYING]

[COW MOOS]

Billy: IT'S FUN TO EXCHANGE IDEAS AND OPINIONS.

WITH CONGENIAL PEOPLE.

Nergal: OBVIOUSLY, I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.

THAT WHEN THE BOILS BECAME INFECTED, I WOULD BE...

BY THIS POINT, THE STENCH WAS UNMERCIFUL.

IT TOOK 13...

THE WOUNDS WERE BOILING OPEN WITH SOME SORT OF VISCOUS...

[BOY GAGS]

BY TUESDAY, THE WHOLE EAR CANAL WAS INFESTED WITH CATERPILLARS...

PEOPLE LIKE IT WHEN YOU SHARE.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO SHARE?

VERY WELL.

HERE'S YOUR HALF.

[CRYING]

GRIM, HOW DO YOU DO IT?

YOU LACK ANY HINT OF CHARM OR SOCIAL GRACE,

AND YET YOU HAVE 2 FRIENDS.

YOU MUST TELL ME YOUR SECRET.

HEY, MON, I NEVER WANTED ANY STUPID FRIENDS.

THEY FORCED ME TO DO IT.

THEY FORCED YOU?

YEAH.

THE LITTLE MONSTERS.

IT'S TRUE.

HE IS OUR FRIEND SLAVE.

OF COURSE!

ALL THE GOOD THINGS IN LIFE

MUST BE TAKEN BY FORCE.

NOW I KNOW WHAT TO DO.

WHAT?

I MUST MAKE PEOPLE BE MY FRIENDS!

[EVIL LAUGHTER]

WE'LL HAVE SO MUCH FRIENDLY FUN!

YOU'RE MY FRIEND!

AND YOU'RE MY FRIEND!

OOH! OOH!

AND YOU!

FRIENDS, FRIENDS, FRIENDS, FRIENDS,

FRIENDS, FRIENDS FRIENDS, FRIENDS,

FRIENDS, FRIENDS, FRIENDS,

FRIENDS, FRIENDS, AND YOU.

YOU WILL BE MY CLOSEST,

MOST BESTEST FRIEND OF ALL.

[EVIL LAUGHTER]

Man on TV: WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME ABOUT HIM?

Woman on TV: I TRIED, I TRIED,

BUT YOU WERE ALWAYS WORKING LATE AT THE BREWERY.

I'M TIRED OF YOUR EXCUSES. YOU'RE A LYING JERK!

WHERE AM I?

WHA... WHO? WHA... WHO?

AAH! AAH!

OH, IT'S YOU.

OH! WHEW!

AHH!

WHAT DO YOU WANT, BILLY?

SHH!

I'M ON A TOP-SECRET MISSION.

[CREAKING]

OK. I'M THROWING MANDY A SURPRISE PARTY,

AND SHE CAN'T FIND OUT... HEE HEE!

BECAUSE IT'S A SECRET SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY...

HEE HEE HEE!

AND YOU'RE GONNA HELP ME THROW IT!

OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. I'M NOT.

OOH, SURE YOU ARE.

WE'RE GONNA WHOOP IT UP REAL BIG.

BILLY, THERE'S ONLY ONE THING I WHOOP UP REAL BIG,

AND IT ISN'T BIRTHDAY PARTIES.

AW, WHY NOT?

WE'LL HAVE BALLOONS AND CAKE...

THAT'S ENOUGH!

I HATE PARTIES. WHAT A STUPID IDEA.

WAHHHH!

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WON'T PARTY WITH ME!

[SOBBING]

[SNIFFLES]

OH, WELL,

I GUESS WE'LL DO SOMETHING ELSE TOGETHER.

YES, SOMETHING ELSE.

MOM SAID IT WAS TIME TO CLEAN MY EARS OUT.

[GASP]

UGH!

THAT COULD BE FUN, HUH?

MY EARS ARE SO BACKED UP, I CAN'T SEE STRAIGHT.

FORGET IT! WE'LL THROW YOUR STUPID PARTY.

YAY!

COME ON, PAL.

AH!

HEE HEE HEE! OK, COOKING BUDDY. LET'S BAKE A CAKE.

I DO NOT KNOW THE FIRST THING ABOUT...

WHA... WHOO!

OOH!

OOH!

OOH!

AHH!

UGH!

HEE HEE HEE!

Mandy: WHAT ARE YOU 2 DORKS DOING?

WELL, DORKS?

GRIM, TELL HER SOMETHING!

WELL, IF YOU REALLY MUST KNOW,

BILLY AND I WERE PLANNING SOMETHING VERY SPECIAL FOR YOU.

[GASP]

NO, WE'RE NOT! WE WERE JUST PLAYING A GAME.

SEE? PICK UP STICKS.

SOMEHOW, DOUBT IT.

BUT THEN AGAIN, DON'T CARE.

HEY, IT WORKED. THAT WAS GOOD, HUH? HEE HEE HEE!

QUICK! PUT YOURSELF BACK TOGETHER.

GEE, THANKS, BILLY.

SURE THING, PAL.

[GIGGLING]

[GIGGLING]

OOF!

OOH, LOOK OUT! MANDY'S COMING!

[WHISTLING]

QUICK, HIDE UNDER HERE!

MOVE, MOVE, MOVE! GO, GO, GO!

WATCH OUT! HERE I COME.

OK. NOW, SHUT UP FOR A MINUTE.

[FOOTSTEPS]

[WHISTLING]

HEY, SHE DIDN'T NOTICE A THING.

DIDN'T NOTICE WHAT?

[HUMMING]

YOU KNOW, GRIM,

YOU'RE THE BEST CAKE-MAKING, PRESENT-WRAPPING FRIEND

I'VE EVER HAD.

DO YOU REALLY MEAN THAT, BILLY?

I SURE DO.

YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND, GRIM.

AND JUST THEN, MY SMALL HEART GREW 3 TIMES ITS SIZE.

[FOOTSTEPS]

GRIM, SHE'S COMING!

[BOTH GIGGLING]

SURPRISE! SURPRISE!

[BOTH CHEERING]

♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ♪

♪ IT'S YOUR HAPPY DAY

♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ♪

♪ LET'S CELEBRATE TODAY

WHAT ARE YOU 2 DWEEBS DOING?

IT'S YOUR SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY,

AND IT WAS ALL BILLY'S IDEA.

OH, REALLY?

DID BILLY HAPPEN TO TELL YOU

THAT MY BIRTHDAY ISN'T FOR ANOTHER 5 MONTHS?

HEY... WHA... BILLY?

HEE HEE HEE! THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT A REAL SURPRISE!

[LAUGHING]

♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ♪

♪ IT'S YOUR HAPPY DAY ♪

♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ♪

♪ LET'S CELEBRATE TODAY ♪

NOT BAD, GRIM.

IT'S... A REAL SURPRISE, LET ME TELL YOU.

[CRYING]

HEY, IRWIN, WHERE'D YOU GO?

I'M HIDING BEHIND THAT ROCK.

WHAT GOOD IS THAT?

OH, NO!

YOUR HAMMER. USE YOUR HAMMER.

NO!

STUPID GOATIE HEAD MONSTER.

HEY, LOSERS, WHO'S IN ON A GAME OF OLD MAID?

I NEED VICTIMS.

Billy: SORRY, MANDY.

WE'RE BUSY PLAYING BEASTS AND BARBARIANS.

YEAH. WE'VE BEEN AT IT FOR 3 DAYS NONSTOP.

HEE HEE! I CAN'T FEEL MY BUTT.

Irwin: THIS WAY TO THE RING OF EVIL.

QUICK, BILLY! POWER UP YOUR HAMMER.

Billy: NO, IRWIN. USE YOUR MAGIC.

YOU TURNED INTO AN OWL?

[SARCASTICALLY] THAT'S GREAT.

I'M ALL DISCOMBOBULATED, AND YOU'RE AN OWL.

DON'T WORRY, BILLY. I'll CAST A SPELL TO BRING YOU BACK.

[ROARS]

OH, MAN.

Electronic voice: LOSERS!

LET'S GO, YOU PATHETIC LOSERS.

GAME OVER.

BUT I CAN'T STOP PLAYING, MANDY.

I NEED IT!

THAT'S RIGHT. WE'RE ADDICTED.

TIME FOR AN INTERVENTION.

GRIM, WHAT WOULD IT TAKE TO BREAK THESE FIENDS

OF THEIR VIDEO GAME HABIT?

A DOSE OF THE REAL THING MIGHT DO THE TRICK.

HOW WOULD YOU KIDS LIKE TO PLAY A MUCH BETTER GAME?

WITH SUPER 3-D, STATE-OF-THE-ART,

TRUER-THAN-LIFE MONSTER GRAPHICS?

TO DIE FOR.

SWEET!

HEY, I... I DON'T KNOW, BILLY.

SETTLED. MAKE IT HAPPEN, GRIM.

OBSERVE.

HEY, GUYS?

I DON'T THINK THIS IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA. GUYS?

TIME TO CHOOSE YOUR WEAPONS, BOYS.

OOH! WAR HAMMER, WAR HAMMER!

TO THE FORBIDDEN CASTLE!

AHEM, I'M MORE OF A SPELL-CASTER KIND OF GUY.

WHOA! HEY, BILLY, WAIT UP!

SPELL-CASTER, I SAY.

AND WHAT DO I GET?

UHH! A STUPID BOOK.

UHH! AND COULD THEY MAKE IT ANY BIGGER?

NO, WAIT! I WAS JUST KIDDING.

I AM A GOLDEN GOD!

HYAH!

[HISSES]

THE ONLY THING A BIG BOOK IS GOOD FOR

IS SQUASHING A BIG BUG.

HEH HEH HEH!

HUH?

OOH, OOH! WAY TO GO, IRWIN!

THAT'S 10,000 POINTS, EASY.

WELL, THIS ISN'T WORKING.

NOT EVEN THE GRIM REAPER

CAN BREAK THEIR ADDICTION.

DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT THAT.

I'll BREAK THEM.

TALK IS CHEAP.

YOU'LL SEE. I STILL HAVE A FEW TRICKS UP MY SLEEVE.

OOH! LET'S BEAT IT, IRWIN.

THIS PLACE IS GIVING ME THE CREEPS.

I NEED A HUG.

HEH HEH HEH!

THEY'RE FUNNY.

THE GRIM REAPER!

WHY ARE YOU IN THE CONTROL ROOM?

PUNCH OUT, PIGGY. YOUR SHIFT IS OVER.

P-P-PUNCH OUT?

[SQUEALING]

LET'S ROCK.

HEY, BILLY, DO YOU HEAR SOMETHING?

WAAHH!

AAH!

I'M MONEY, BABY.

CHA-CHING!

BILLY!

IRWIN, DID YOU SEE ME?

I BET THAT'S WORTH A GAZILLION POINTS.

GET ME OUT OF HERE, BILLY!

I BETTER GET MANDY AND GRIM.

THEY'LL KNOW WHAT TO DO.

HURRY, BILLY!

HEY, GRIM! HEY, MANDY!

WHERE ARE YOU?

[SARCASTICALLY] HEY, GRIM! HEY, MANDY!

WHERE ARE YOU?

HA HA HA!

THERE YOU ARE, MANDY.

HOW ABOUT A LITTLE SURPRISE?

I WONDER WHAT HAPPENED TO GRIM.

Billy: HEY, MANDY!

MANDY?

HEE HEE HEE!

ARE YOU HERE FOR THE RING?

WHAT RING?

HE WHO WEARS THE RING WILL HAVE THE POWER

TO SUMMON VAST AND HORRIBLE ARMIES OF THE UNDEAD,

WHO WILL OBEY HIS EVERY COMMAND.

IT'S VERY HORRIBLE.

OH, YEAH. I COULD USE ONE OF THOSE.

DO YOU HAVE SUCH A RING?

OF COURSE I DO. I AM THE KEEPER.

BUT FIRST YOU MUST ANSWER MY RIDDLE:

WHAT IS BLACK AND BLUE AND RED ALL OVER?

THAT WOULD BE YOU IF I DON'T GET THAT RING, PRONTO.

MANDY! GRIM!

HERE I AM, BILLY.

IT'S JUST YOU AND ME NOW.

BUT MAYBE I CAN FIX THAT.

HELLO. WHAT'S THIS?

NOW WE'LL JUST KICK BACK AND WATCH THE FIREWORKS.

HELLO, HANDSOME.

HUH?

[DING]

MANDY!

I'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU.

BUT WHERE'S GRIM?

Grim: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

AARRGGH!

WE'RE CORNERED!

WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?

WE'RE ALL DOOMED!

WHY DON'T YOU JUST MAKE ANOTHER PORTAL

TO TAKE US ALL BACK HOME?

THAT'S A GREAT IDEA!

EVERYBODY, STAND BACK.

QUICKLY! AAH!

HEY, MANDY, YOU WANT TO COME OVER FOR A GAME OF OLD MAID?

NO, THANKS, BILLY. I'M BUSY RIGHT NOW.

HEY, SITHRO IS HOLDING AGAIN.

GO FISH, BABY.

[ALL LAUGHING]

IS SOMETHING BOTHERING YOU, GRIM?

I JUST CAN'T SHAKE THE FEELING

THAT I'M FORGETTING SOMETHING.

IS ANYBODY UP THERE?

I'M GETTING HUNGRY.