Original subtitles

She’ll always be your mom.

She’ll be happy that someone else is looking after you for her.

I’ll pick you up in two hours unless I hear from you.

Listen, it’s going to be all right.

13 missed calls from “Hanna, my favorite child”?

She put that in. - Well, you didn’t change it.

Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?

Good luck, then. Hey, you’re brave and cool.

Right?

Hello? - What’s with the calls?

Pernille, you have to come home right away. Hanna’s distraught.

Subtitles Trygve Lie

and he hooked up with Maya, who’s a second-year at Nissen.

She’s a second-year!

Everybody knew it, but no one has said anything!

If I’d gone to Hemsedal with them I would have known, too.

Instead, I found out on Jodel.

I don’t understand. Why are you so upset?

We knew Sander was a jerk when he didn’t go with Emma to hospital.

But he’s Emma’s boyfriend. - Are you retarded?

I’m going to have to tell her now!

She won’t be going to Argentina with me.

She’ll go to Bali with him instead since she can’t trust him.

And that fucks my entire year!

Why can’t you go alone? I went to France alone at your age.

When you were young there were no gang rapes and club drugs!

It’s not as if your year will be wasted.

You saved up for something you want to do,

and that matters when you’ll be looking for a job.

I haven’t saved anything!

Nothing? In eight months? - I went on that trip to Italy.

Herman paid upfront and wants the money back.

I didn’t know the hotel cost 2,000 kroner a night!

I thought you stayed at an inn? - To begin with.

It was creepy and everyone wanted to change.

That’s not a problem for Herman, his dad has a bunch of money.

I didn’t know it was that expensive, and we stayed there for 12 nights.

How much do you owe him?

24,000 kroner.

And you’ve saved how much?

Where are you going? - I’m not talking to you right now.

I’m so pissed off that I might say something stupid.

Don’t walk away, I’m really sad.

I’m at work and had to come home

to listen to your bullshit about Emma being ditched by her boyfriend,

when the real issue is you’ve spent money you didn’t have?

I’m not having this now.

Pørni, one question. - Right.

I’d like you to meet Stephen. Can I invite him for dinner?

I have to pick up a lad

who is visiting his mom in prison for the first time in two years.

Then he can wait another four minutes.

Of course he can come for dinner. Let’s talk about it later.

Mommy!

I’m so alone!

Hey, you.

What did she say? - She said she was fine.

She asked if I had any money.

She’s not very talkative. - They have a dog!

Your foster family has a dog. - Cool.

How was Madrid?

Well, we screwed, that was the whole point. For two minutes.

It was a costly screw. The hotel cost a bunch.

So how is my darling godchild? - You can adopt her.

I’m stalking “Municipal Bjørnar” on Facebook. He’s cute.

Well, he has twins, he’s a hunk and 13 years younger than me.

Wow, is he that young?

One of the lads I’m seeing is 27.

He has stamina like you wouldn’t believe. I’m almost tired.

Four times in the same evening!

Four times in the same evening?

Saying that, I’m not sure about our bacterial compatibility.

You what? - My pee-pee hurts.

Thanks for sharing. - Have it looked at.

You’ll spread it, you know, the way you’re screwing around.

She uses condoms. - No, she doesn’t!

Do you know who you remind me of?

You remind me of Anna-Lena from my law studies.

She’s a cat woman now.

She has lactose intolerance, so moved to Nittedal.

She now has ten cats. Ten cats!

You’re becoming just like... Like that one.

Anorak and short hair. - Good God.

You’re wearing the same jacket.

It’s true. - They’re identical.

Is there less lactose in Nittedal? - I’m just pulling your leg.

I’m not sure I’d want chlamydia at the age of 45.

Bloody hell, what if it’s that?

If you’re not using a condom, you obviously have chlamydia.

Right, I’ll get my act together.

I understand why you’re steering clear of Bjørnar.

But please get back on the horse.

Am I supposed to go out and be 20 years older than everyone else?

I can’t. - Find a 52-year-old, then.

You don’t have to go out, though.

I know someone you can meet for a blind date.

A guaranteed screw. Recently divorced, 47 years old.

His name is Kjetil. Three kids, great conversations.

Really fit. - I can’t stand that.

Holiday house by the sea. - No, his ex took it.

That’s right. Anyway, he’s an intestinal surgeon.

You what? - A gastrointestinal surgeon.

Yuk. - They make a bunch of money.

I’ll set you up. - No, don’t do that.

In two years, no one will want to screw you. Don’t waste those years.

Is that a rule, then? After 47 no one wants to screw you?

Science says so. - What science?

Just... regular science.

Bjørnar: Are you ghosting me? I’ve got time away from the kids, let’s meet.

I’ve washed my trousers!

Come on, Korsvoll!

Where did you get that? - I won it.

Go on, Korsvoll!

Come on, Leo, score!

Yes!

There’s only one Leo Storli...

One Leo Storli! There’s only one Leo Storli!

Up you get.

Why did you do that? - I don’t know.

There must be a reason. - I don’t know.

Are you angry about something that’s happened?

Dad texted me.

He said he likely won’t serve time in prison.

And... As if it was supposed to make me happy.

I wrote back and told him I hope they put him away for 20 years.

That he should have died, not Mom.

He’s paralyzed and everything.

I can’t be angry with someone who’s in a wheelchair.

Of course you can be angry with him, even if he’s in a wheelchair.

Be as angry as you like.

But you have to call that lad and say sorry.

You behaved like a retard.

You can’t say “retard”. - Right, fine.

You can’t let your own problems

legitimize you behaving like a mong. Sorry, you can’t say “mong”.

When you’re angry, you remind me of my mom.

So do you when you’re angry. And when you score goals.

Hi! Is he all right? - Well, he’ll be suspended, I suppose.

I’d be angry too if someone called my mom a whore.

He probably thought you’re his mom since you were cheering.

Hello?

Just thought I’d mention that Leo played a match today.

And it... Well.

They won 22-11, but Leo...

Well, he scored five.

Right. Bye, then.

If you’d stand in a line instead it would make everything easier.

I’ve thrown my pride aside 😊 Do you want to meet tomorrow?

Stop it! You’re drooling like a pig! I can’t handle this!

Sigrid lost, so she’s crying. I was a bit crass... Talk to her.

You don’t understand... - Yes! It’s wrong, fix it!

Will you take it easy? It’s just a game!

Sigrid, it’s just a game, there’s no reason to go mental.

She’s a sore loser. - You all are!

Leo, I’ve made an appointment for you with your dad tomorrow.

I could take you there. - Fine.

Goodnight, then.

I asked TGI Friday’s and Joe and the Juice. Only boys work there.

What about the one at the airport?

No way. That’s 40 minutes by train.

So what? - Don’t talk English, it’s cringey.

You just visited two restaurant chains.

What about grocery stores or nursing homes?

Why just a couple of restaurants?

I’m good with people, that’s why.

People live in nursing homes! It’s well-paid, you can work nights.

I’m sick of you talking to me like I’m 12 years old.

I’m old enough to vote. - Last election, you forgot to vote!

When the nursery calls, you’ve been on the piss and won’t take the call.

Behave like an adult, then. - Everyone else’s parents help them.

It’s hard to get a job with no experience.

But you’re 45 years old and have everything sorted.

Don’t walk away, we’re talking!

Hanna! - I’m mentally exhausted!

I’ll get ME at this rate. - If you do, you’re moving out!

I won’t be able to if I get ME!

We’re both hotheads, but you shouldn’t act on every provocation.

You just feel silly afterwards.

I called that jerk and apologized.

That’s good, but I was told what he said about me.

Maybe don’t get quite as offended as Zinedine Zidane.

Sometimes, it’s better not to act on it.

Do you think I’m easily offended

because I don’t like how my dad caused my mom’s death?

I didn’t mean it metaphorically. I was talking about the match.

The situation with your dad is more complicated.

Do you want me to come with you? - I can handle it.

Remember to tell him your song was played on the radio.

I’m really proud of you for that.

I don’t agree with what you said, about Zinedine Zidane and that.

Boys who defend their mom are kind to girls. I’ve read that.

Hello.

Hi.

Hey, it’s me.

I thought you’d blocked me.

I just thought I’d say I can meet for a beer today.

Right, I have another appointment, though.

I’m going to watch the football.

You didn’t reply, so I took that as a hint, you know.

Sorry about that. I’ve had a really busy week, that’s all.

Maybe I can join you, if that’s possible?

Yes, absolutely.

I’m watching the game with Therese. My new colleague, you know.

But you could join us, too. - Let’s meet some other time.

I won’t spoil your date. - No, no… it’s just a football match.

Have fun, anyway, I’ll speak to you. All right, bye.

Bjørnar: What happened?

I’m old and ugly.

My tits are far too long for you.

No worries! Enjoy!

I need a confidence boost.

Do you reckon the surgeon would like a drink tonight?

Astrid: YES! He asks about it every day!

Are you done? I thought you were going out?

I’m doing my make up. - I need to wee.

Use the upstairs. - Leo’s there.

Well, I’m busy. Wait for him.

I was offered a job at McDonald’s starting next week.

I’m a vegetarian, though. - Well, you’re clearly not.

I want to be one. - Best of luck with that.

Astrid: Go get some then! Good luck!

To Municipal Bjørnar: Sorry for hanging up so abruptly. See you at work!

All right, I’m off, then.

What’s happened here? Did you tidy up?

You look so nice. Not old at all.

What’s with the candles? Is something wrong?

Is this to make me pay off your debt to Herman?

What are you on about? I’m Sigrid’s babysitter.

I work for the money you pay me.

I cleaned and did the dishwasher, I did the laundry.

You look really nice, you don’t look as tired.

- I’ve scrubbed the stove. - No, you haven’t.

You asked me to contribute more. Go out and meet the “girls” now.

Go get ’em. - Please don’t get a boyfriend.

Of course I won’t, it’s just a couple of beers. You could rent a movie.

Grandpa is camping with Stephen. Call me if anything happens.

But please don’t, OK? Have fun, now!

When are they coming? - Not a word to Mom.

I’m not a snitch. I work for my wages as well.

If you want to exercise, you can always find the time.

In the evenings I loaded the bike in my car,

drove to work and left it there, ran to work the next day.

It’s an hour and a half. So, Silje took the kids in the morning.

I took the bike home after work and did all the usual stuff,

then went running at Sognsvann, four laps there.

Maybe five. Intervals, too, 30/30. While Silje put the kids to bed.

Then home, stuck the bike in the car again,

-ook it to work, and repeat.

Except Sundays. Sundays are for restitution.

To eat and fill up.

It’s just every other week now, of course.

On my weeks off, I actually train even more.

Astrid: He’s fit for purpose. Remember that! -Is it worth the stress?

If it’s worth it? Of course!

Not convinced. Norseman is the world’s toughest triathlon.

So, finishing in 43rd place,

being in 81st after the cycling, so running past 38 guys?

Finishing like that, the feeling you get...

It’s euphoric. - How long does it last, then?

Oh, it lasts at least...

Four minutes. Well, two.

Right. - Then you think about next year.

How about yourself, in terms of fitness and that?

Do you exercise at all?

Not lately. I had to have knee surgery.

I like skiing in winter, things like that.

What do you do in winter? - Winter triathlon.

I see.

Do you want another one? I’m almost empty.

I could have another one. - Two more, then.

Bjørnar: I’m about to wrap this up. - Silje exercised, too.

But I’ve had my hand up peoples’ asses for years.

In the end, you don’t have the energy for sex.

I’m just kidding. A sense of humor is important.

How about we catch a taxi and go to your place and screw?

Right.

Could we have the check, please?

I’ll pay at the bar.

I tried to tell them, but it’s a bit rude to turn people away.

I want to include everyone, but you see my dilemma?

It’s, like, a moral dilemma, a class issue, too.

Do I kick out the guys from the East or the West End?

Then the neighbor shouted at me because we woke his dog up.

Did you just come home? - No.

I’ve been watering the... grass.

Are you not going to shout at me?

Say something, Pørni! Shout at me! You’re scaring me!

What’s happened to you? You look like a wreck.

That’s 2,750 in total, so, divided by two...

I didn’t have the dessert, so if you’d send me 1,500, that’s great.

Bjørnar: LEAVING THE PUB, THAT IS! Please come to my place.

Aren’t you going to shout at me?

Mom?

First you wanted it and now you don’t? I don’t understand.

You can pay for half the taxi.

If I’d have known about this, I’d have taken the bike.

Shout at me, Mom, please!

I’m hungry. - Hello?

Sorry, no, that stays on.

I see. I was taking it off, but...

I’ll put it back on. - That’s fine.

But this is coming off.

I’ll take the job at McDonald’s. - Can I have pancakes?

Aren’t you going to shout at me?

Please shout, you’re scaring me!

Make Sigrid pancakes for breakfast and clean the house.

I’ll pay off the money you owe. I’m getting a tax refund.

Can I get choco milk too? - Sure.

Yes, fucking hell! - Language!

Sod off, then.

Next time, the bra comes off. - Nope.

My tits are far too long.

There’s not a man anywhere who doesn’t love long titties.

Hello!

How did you do? Did you pass math?

I got a four in math. - What?

That’s amazing. You’ll be admitted to Katta with that.

I don’t know if I want to, I don’t think I’ll fit in.

Do what you want. I think you’ll love it there.

Maybe you could visit the school. I could come with you?

All right, yes.

I’m so proud of you.

Four in math, eh?

You probably didn’t think that when you met me five years ago.

Yes, I did.

I hope you’re proud of yourself.

You do realize that you accomplished this all by yourself?

You’re... I know that this is just...

That it’s your job.

But without you, I...

Well, I’d...

Let’s go and meet your new foster parents.