Original subtitles

Hey, Dad. Check this out.

Kevin, Kevin, turn it off.

Kev, stop.

What is that?

Oh, you mean this?

♪ Uno, dos

♪ Uno, dos, tres

♪ Uno, dos

♪ Uno, dos, tres

Man, turn that off, please.

It's my DJ kit.

God, man, music has changed a lot since I was a kid.

How?

Mostly, it used to be good.

Better than this?

♪ Uno, dos

♪ Uno, dos, tres...

Kevin! Kevin! Kevin!

Turn it off, man. Stop!

I gotta work.

Oh, hey, Dad.

Remember, Mom said I could have my end-of-the-school-year party this weekend.

What? It's not the end of the school year.

Yeah, I know, but I don't wanna have it then

because then, like, everybody will be having one.

And, like, there's this girl, and, like, her family has money.

And they, like, rent this place,

and, like, everybody's gonna be there.

And what am I gonna look like having this little party at the same time as this huge one?

I mean, people will start walking up to me talking about,

"Are you crazy? What is wrong with you?"

Okay, okay, Lindsey, Lindsey.

Have you party, all right?

Look. You know what? Just stop.

I don't know what's worse, you or that beat.

You mean this beat?

♪ Va loca, mami

Kevin!

♪ Va loco papi

♪ Va loca, mami

Kev, stop!

♪ Va loco, papi...

You know, they should send you to Gitmo

to help make the men talk.

What's Gitmo? Like, a club?

Kinda, except you need to be on the list to get out.

Hmm. Well, look,

if you need a good DJ for your party,

I got you.

You? Seriously?

Hey, you're looking at DJ KK-P. Ha-ha!

Hey, hey, hey, stop it. We get it. Don't do that.

All I'm saying is,

a good party is all about getting the party started.

All your're getting started is my search

for a new black family to hang out with.

♪ Are we there yet?

♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me

♪ Tell me, are we there yet?

♪ Are we there yet?

Come on, man, it's the second half.

What are you doing over there, anyway?

It's the website for your high school reunion this weekend.

It's all the photos people have posted.

You going?

Nah.

Wait...

Is that you with the Jheri curl?

Oh, my God, you look like a poor man's Sexual Chocolate.

What do you know about Sexual Chocolate?

Nick, not only black people like Coming to America.

You know, we came here too.

How come under your photo everybody keeps calling you "Wrong Way"?

Come on, man.

Look, let's watch the game, bruh.

What's up?

"Wrong Way."

Talk or else I call back DJ Bleeding Ear.

Okay, okay.

But look,

this does not leave this room.

Remember how I always told you

how bad my high school football team was?

Yeah, senior year, you were winless. Blah, blah, blah.

Well, in the last game of the season,

we were actually winning seven-to-six,

with a minute left to play.

Okay.

I was on defense, uh,

I sacked the quarterback and he fumbled the ball.

And?

I scooped it up

and ran it into the end zone.

Okay.

It was the wrong way.

Oh, bless your little heart, Nick.

So, there I was in the end zone,

doing the Ickey Shuffle,

and the other team tackled me and got a safety.

After that,

I was Wrong Way.

Well, I still think you should go.

What for?

Because I need to meet Carla Favers, that's why.

Who is Carla Favers?

That is Carla Favers.

Wow! Hey.

Okay, I get that.

But I just don't wanna show up there and have everybody calling me

"Wrong Way" all night.

You're bringing a dude to your high school reunion

and you're worried about people calling you "Wrong Way"?

Nick Kingston-Persons.

Nick! Is that you?

You look amazing!

Hey.

You don't remember me, do you?

Yeah, yeah, I remember you.

How can I forget?

Come on, why are you trippin'? What's my name?

Huh? What's my name?

I'm sorry. No, I don't remember you.

Aah! Just kidding!

We've never met.

I'm just here helping out.

But I watch you on K.A.W.T.

Oh, that's funny how I'm standing here all embarrassed. Thank you.

Okay, there you go.

Oh, and, uh,

who is this?

I'm Martin.

Okay, well, there you go.

Thanks, Mandy. Have fun.

Maybe I'll see you at the bar later.

Not if I see Carla Favers first.

You too? Ugh.

Well, if you get tired of chasing that, I will be right here.

Noted.

See, man. So far, so good.

I'm telling you, when you walk through that door,

people are gonna act like

Lawrence Taylor just showed up.

Oh, right, bad example.

Point is,

Wrong Way is gonna be the last thing in their minds.

Let's go.

Hey, everybody, look who's here!

Wrong Way!

Maybe I was wrong. I'm sorry.

Aah!

That's what I'm talking about, Wrong Way.

"Nick Kingston-Persons"?

What's with all the names, man?

What are you, Philip Michael Thomas?

Is this your buddy Crockett?

Hey, Crockett!

What, you come in a boat?

Or a Corvette?

Hey, where's your socks?

Hey, where's your Philip Michael Thomas hair?

Hey, uh, Wayne, Wayne,

you know, it's been a long time, man.

I hardly recognized you either.

Yeah, yeah, I'm a lot more sexier than I used to be.

No, seriously, Wrong Way,

before you came in here, I was telling these guys

how when you ran the wrong way in the game.

Oh, what fun.

Well, listen, as good as you're making me feel about myself,

I'm gonna have to move along. Okay?

Hey, have any of you guys seen Carla Favers?

Don't look at us, you're looking the wrong way.

Oh, hey, hey, I got a great idea.

Let's play a drinking game.

When anyone ever says

"Wrong Way", we all have to drink.

Wrong Way!

Wait, wait,

I don't think that's how a drinking game works.

What, are you saying we're playing it the wrong way?

Oh, yeah!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Bill Hobbs.

You were, like, the biggest nerd ever, man.

Now, you're like a...

What do they call you?

A billionaire?

Whoa! Big Bucks Bill.

Hey, you know Wrong Way over here?

Yeah, hey, Wrong Way.

I remember you,

but I don't remember you used to look like that.

Money makes things better.

Now, you're some big computer guy or somethin'?

Sort of. You heard of Google?

You invented Google?

No, but I sold them the domain name.

I bought it because I wanted to create a website

for my pet fish, Google.

So you watch him 24 hours a day.

And then Google came along,

and it was either keep the website

or make $48 million.

Boring!

Bill!

Hey! Hey.

I was looking all over for you,

but I went the wrong way.

Gigi!

Hey, Nick. You two know each other?

Well, we're friends.

How do you two know each other?

Well, I'm rich, she's beautiful. It happens.

Ooh!

Well, Bill, let's go rub your success

in the faces of people who doubted you.

Y'all know he's a billionaire, right?

I told them. That's called rubbing it.

Let's go rub it.

Hey, I got an idea.

Let's reenact the play where Wrong Way ran the wrong way.

Ha-ha! Oh, I said "Wrong Way" twice!

Guys, I'll be right back. I gotta hit the head.

Hey, buddy, buddy. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You're going the wrong way!

Whoo!

You guys having fun?

Want some punch?

There's some fresh-baked cookies on the table,

if anybody wants some.

Cookies? Seriously?

No offence, but this sucks.

What did you do, put Benadryl in the punch?

This party is such a disaster, FEMA is setting up outside.

Bob seems to be enjoying it.

That's 'cause he's Bob.

Seriously, though, if this party gets any worse,

Lady Gaga's gonna throw a benefit concert for it.

All right, you're having a party. What could possibly be wrong?

It sucks! At least it matches your face.

Not now, Kevin, not now.

Oh, come on, girl, you got a bunch of your friends

just break out a deck of cards.

That's lame. Not as lame as that party.

That's two.

I'm just trying to help you out.

Why don't you just let me DJ your party?

No, because you're not a DJ.

I will be, if you let me DJ your party.

Sweetie, I don't know, but what he just played,

sounded pretty good to me.

Come on, Lindsey, I can do this.

Oh, hold me back, y'all.

♪ Va loco, papi

♪ Va loca, mami

You didn't see me, okay?

Hey, Nick, have you seen Martin?

Uh, I think he went that way.

Yeah, well, I'm going the wrong way!

Wrong Way!

Hey, Wrong Way.

Hey, where'd you go?

Hey, man, look. I plan on talking to other people tonight, all right?

And could you please not call me that?

Sorry, didn't mean to rub you the wrong way.

Yeah, I did it again.

Hey! Wrong Way.

Explain.

It's a long story.

Nick lost a football game by running with the ball the wrong way.

Wrong way!

Oh, that's not a long story.

Well, it's a lot more complicated than that. See, I...

I get it, you went the wrong way.

Wrong Way!

Bill.

Bill Hobbs.

Julie Faber.

Hey, Wrong Way.

Oh, my God, Bill!

I hear you're a millionaire now.

Well, a billionaire, actually.Ho-ho.

What about you? Well, kind of...

You know my blog, "Smart Girls Don't Suck"?

No, I never heard of it.

Oh, well, Hollywood has.

They paid me $15 million for the rights.

Wow! That's great, Julie.

Bill, why don't we just go get something to eat or some wine?

Who's this? Uh, this is Gigi.

Mm-hmm. We just met,

but I didn't want to come alone.

Uh, I figured I'd bring someone beautiful...

Ooh!

...to, you know, rub it in.

Oh, my God. Me, too.

I should introduce you to...

Oh, is he a billionaire? No.

Do you mind? No, y'all go!

Go.

Wait, what...

Wait, wait, what just happened here?

Why do I just feel like I was body slammed by a smart girl?

Uh-oh!

Somebody's down in the ratings.

Coming here was a bad idea.

I would be gone, but my friend drove.

So, I guess that's two bad ideas.

Well, they're not as bad as running a ball

into your own end zone.

You heard about that, huh?

Mm, people are kinda talking about it a little bit.

You know what? It's just that one guy.

Oh, hey, hey, hey, speak of the devil.

Now, that's a burnt sizzle.

Oh, hey! Wrong Way!

Hey!

Wayne,

it's Nick.

Beat it for a second. I got to...

Hey, Nick.

Can I talk to you for a second?

Hey, look, we haven't seen each other

in a long time, you know?

I was just trying to have a little fun.

Why don't you just come on inside?

I gotta give out these awards.

What awards?

We're giving out awards, you know,

like, most successful, most inspirational

most embarrassing moments.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Okay, all right, all right.

"Most embarrassing moment," okay.

I wonder who that one's going to, huh?

Nick, it's not like that. Come on.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, it is like that, okay?

It's been like that for the last hour and a half.

All right, you know what? You go on in there,

you give out your awards, you have your fun,

but you know what? If I hear the words

"Wrong Way" come out your mouth,

you understand me?

Yeah, but, Nick, I just think you're taking it all the wr...

You're taking it like I wasn't gonna say that...

I... It's just weird, you know, if I...

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

All right. All right.

Hey, Nick.

Go ahead.

Thank you.

Oh, no, you put it on the wrong...

Upside down.

And the award

for the funniest new-married name goes to...

Lisa Street-Hooker.

Lisa.

Hey, man.

You ready to get out of here?

Actually, I am not.

Nick, I'd like you to meet Carla Favers.

Oh, my God.

Wrong Way!

Uh...

So, we were in the same class? What?

I wasn't very popular.

I've changed a lot since then.

Mm, well, I guess everybody missed out, huh?

Buddy, I cannot thank you enough.

This girl is seriously into me.

Like, FBI watchlist serious.

You know,

we all have to be true to ourselves and, um,

I'm proud to say that we have two alumni here

that began their journey as all woman or all man

and they're now all man or all woman.

Best gender reassignment surgery award goes to...

Charlie Favarelli, AKA Carla Favers.

Oh, man!

Oh!

Carla! Carla! Carla!

Carla! Carla! Carla!

...so much.

Ready to go get that cocktail now?

Yes, please.

Wait!

Wait, wait, wait!

Where are you guys going?

This party is an epic fail.

We're thinking about going to Bob's.

No! You guys can't leave yet.

Why not?

Because G-Ma is in the hiz-ouse!

Marilyn, what are you doing?

I'll tell you what I am doing.

Me and DJ KK-P is about to get this party started.

We about to...

Hit it!

♪ Uno, dos

♪ Uno, dos, tres

Aw, yeah!

That's right, girl. Go!

Mm-hmm. What it do?

Hit it!

♪ Va loca, mami

♪ Va loco, papi

Wah! ALL: Go, Bob!

Go, Bob! Go, Bob! Go, Bob!

Hey, Bill!

You're seriously leaving here with her?

Gigi, I'm sure you're a wonderful woman,

but Julie... Well,

I've always had a thing for her.

And now that she's a millionaire and I'm a billionaire,

and we both look a lot better than we used to,

it just makes sense.

Well, good for you. I'm happy for you.

But I have one question, Bill.

How am I supposed to get home?

I could buy you a car.

They don't sell cars here, Bill.

You know what?

Why don't you take mine? Oh, that's a great idea!

And then tomorrow, I can buy you a car.

Okay, but I want one as good as the one I'm giving away.

Fine. What is it, anyway?

Class something.

S-Class? That's it.

Oh, my God.

Where are you going?

I'm going to get my car, Nick.

S-Class!

And the most embarrassing moment goes to...

Well, let's get this over with.

Me!

What?

Now, I would tell you guys what I did,

but it's way too embarrassing.

What did he do?

No, no, no, no, uh...

Maybe I'll tell you after this is over, but, uh,

it's pretty bad and I'm dead serious.

And now, for the final award of the evening,

and y'all know who this goes to.

The most inspirational person award

goes to Nick Kingston-Persons.

Uh, is this a joke?

No, no, no, Nick.

After you recovered the fumble and you ran it in the wrong...

In the direction you weren't supposed to go in...

Well, we all thought you'd, you know,

hang your head in shame, you know, transfer schools

or change your name or something,

but, you know, you didn't do that

and you inspired us all.

Yeah, but you guys always made fun of me,

and put "Wrong Way" signs in my locker

and taped them to my back.

And even after I left,

you kept sending me Kriss Kross albums.

That had nothing to do with the wrong way.

We just thought you liked Kriss Kross albums.

But the point is, you know,

you took the teasing like a man.

You inspired us all.

Well, I guess I never thought about it like that, so, uh...

Hey, I don't know what to say. I do.

Wrong Way! Wrong Way!

Wrong Way! Wrong Way!

Well, I mean...

Before we leave here tonight, there's just, uh,

one more thing I need to know.

What was this thing you did

that was so embarrassing you can't tell anybody?

Oh, yeah. Come on, tell me.

All right, I'll tell you. You can tell me. Yeah.

All right, everybody, uh,

drive safe, we'll see you next year.

All right, next time.

Is that bad?

♪ Va loco, papi ♪ Ow!

♪ Va loco, mami ♪ Wah

♪ Va loco, papi

Ooh!

That was so much fun, mm.

Man, I gotta hand it to you guys,

you saved my party.

I don't know how to thank you.

I do. Pay me 50 bucks.

What?

What? Either that or get me some gigs. And a girl.

I will not introduce you to any of my friends.

I will get the money.

Oh!

So, how was the reunion, "Wrong Way"?

Well, for your information,

it was...

Amazing.

So, no one made fun of you?

Oh, no, they made fun of him all night.

Wait a minute.

"Most Inspirational", what's that about?

Let's just say, it's not always important

what you've done,

but it's important how you handle what you've done.

Mm.Well, if you will excuse me,

I'm gonna go take a ride in my new...

S-Class.

What are you even doing here anyway, Gigi?

Giving your daddy a ride home in my new S-Class.

Where'd you get a car like that anyway?

Okay, it's a long story. Never mind.

Okay.

Good night. All right. Goodbye, goodbye.

Guys, it's been a crazy night.

Look, I got this award,

and, you know, this guy,

he told me the most embarrassing thing

I have ever heard in my life.

Really?

What was it?

Uh... Come here, come here.

I'll tell you right now.

Whoa!