Original subtitles

You know, I very rarely ask you to thank me in advance for things,

but in this one particular case...

What am I thanking you for?

Well, if I told you it wouldn't be in advance, would it?

Just say it. Thank you.

You're welcome.

What did you do?

I got us tickets to see what happens to be my favorite

and one of the most influential groups of the 1980s.

Duran Duran?

What? No, man! Another group.

I play them all the time.

They've got a crazy black guy.

Thompson Twins.

No, it's a charismatic lead guy and his sidekick.

Wham!?

Hold on.

Perhaps this will help.

No, that's not helping.

Come on! Peace!

Ace of Base!

No, man.

Yeah, boy!

Well, that's Public Enemy. Who are you talking about?

We are going to see Public Enemy!

We're going to see PE? Yes!

I love PE! I know!

Chuck D! Flavor Flav!

And Terminator X!

♪ Are we there yet?

♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me

♪ Tell me, are we there yet

♪ Are we there yet?

Greetings, people of Earth!

Do you have troubles? Problems?

Dilemmas?

Things you just can't figure out.

Well, we are here to help.

We are...

The Advice Avengers!

Come to save you all.

From whatever your problem is.

Today's question is from Tardy for the Party.

"Dear Advice Avengers, I'm planning

a last minute birthday party for my new boyfriend

and he doesn't like cake.

What type of dessert should I get?

Well, don't get cake.

That's good advice. Thank you.

Personally, I think you can get him anything you can stick a candle in.

Pie.Brownies.

Toaster Strudel.

Toaster Strudel?

It's not cake.

Or if he likes ice cream...

I see where you're going with this.

I got three words for you.

Ice cream cake!

It's cake but it's not.

Because it's ice cream.

Problem solved!

Until next time.

Do what we say. Don't say what we do.

Advice Avengers out!

Man, we're good.

I know! Our last video got 5,000 hits.

If we keep this up we could get paid for this.

♪ Go Kevin go Lindsey

♪ Getting money Superheroes giving advice ♪

Okay. So, um,

remember when I bought this?

What's that?

This is my cassette to MP3 converter.

Oh! No.

Oh, well, you said that it was a waste of money

and that I would never use it.

And that anything I spent that $100 on would be better than this.

So?

So you were wrong.

Because I am going to convert my Public Enemy cassettes to MP3s.

So bam!

Say you're sorry.

I'm not sorry. I was right.

How?

That machine costs $100.

You could've downloaded those three Public Enemy albums

brand new, re-mastered, with digital liner notes for 35.

So bam! Back at you.

Why are you doing this anyway?

Because Martin got us a couple of tickets to a show

I've been wanting to see for ages!

Hold it now!

You're going to see Riverdance?

No! Public Enemy!

Oh, honey!

That is so great! I love Public Enemy! What!

♪ 911 is a joke Can't trust it

♪ Black stealing The hour of chaos ♪

I was the only girl who had a crush on Chuck D.

You know, I don't think I've ever heard a girl say they had a crush on Chuck D.

I was the only one.

So, when are you going?

Ah, Saturday night.

Which Saturday? This Saturday.

On our anniversary?

Oh.

Oh, you almost got me.

Oh!

Ooh, that was scary.

Because I happen to know

that our anniversary isn't for another six months.

No, Nick, not our wedding anniversary.

Every year we go to Marbella's to celebrate the night that you proposed.

I thought you just liked to go to Marbella's.

I do because that is the place where you proposed.

Why do you think we always order that special bottle of wine?

Because we like that wine.

Why do you think we always sit in the corner booth near the fireplace?

Because you always cold.

Unbelievable.

Oh, baby, baby.

At least I remembered our anniversary.

Wait. Oh, come on. You are not serious. Come here.

Suzanne, you are really mad at me

because I didn't remember the day that I proposed to you?

I mean, why would I remember that?

Let's say you got nominated for an Oscar.

Would the guy who sent Halle Berry a letter remember when he sent it?

I mean, she might remember when she got it.

Okay, bad example.

So what are you saying? You asked five other women to marry you that day?

Baby, we celebrate our anniversary. Isn't that enough?

Oh, is that what we were doing?

See, I thought we were just going out to dinner because we were hungry.

Fine. What do you want me to do, not go to the concert?

Nick, that's not what this is about. Don't you get it?

Yeah. What?

Uh, I planned to go to a concert

on the day of the anniversary of the day I proposed to you.

No.

For years, you've been spending the day with me

having absolutely no idea why we were together or what we were doing.

Do you know how that makes me feel?

No.

What kind of answer is that?

Uh, I don't know!

You might've told me but I didn't know that you were telling me.

Baby, I am sorry, okay?

But I will make this up to you, okay? We'll make this work.

Okay, instead of dinner we can go to breakfast and lunch.

Or maybe we'll go out after the show.

We can eat all day,

except for the two hours between 9:00 and 11:00 p.m.

It's Public Enemy, baby.

Nick, there will be other shows.

I'm not so sure. Have you seen Flavor Flav recently?

Babe, listen. Listen.

I promise I will make it up to you.

We will be together for a long time.

I'm not so sure.

Baby. Come on!

Greetings, people of Earth.

We are...

The Advice Avengers!

Come to save you all.

From whatever your problem is.

Today's question is from Sexy Shopper.

"Dear Advice Avengers, the big Barnstrom sale is coming up

and I have work that day."

"It only happens once a year,

and if I don't go on the first day I'll miss all the good buys."

"But I used up all my personal days and I just can't miss this sale!"

"Should I take a chance and tell my boss where I'm really going?"

"Or make up a lie and hope she doesn't find out."

Oh, man. This is a tough one.

But we are superheroes and we are brave enough to give you this advice.

Lie!

Although people say they appreciate the truth,

when you use it you normally don't get what you want.

Here's an example.

Mother, can I skip school today and go to my friend Bob's house?

Aren't his parents out of town?

Yes, Mother, they are.

But we were gonna use this opportunity

to drink all of the alcohol and burn the house down.

Thank you for being honest, Son, but no, you must go to school instead.

Aw!

Perhaps you should pretend to be sick.

But remember, the keys to playing sick are subtlety and planning.

But do not over sell. I repeat,

do not over sell.

And don't ask for the day off.

They key is building up your illness day by day

and having your boss suggest you stay home.

And before you know it you'll be...

Shopping, shopping!

Problem solved!

Until next time...

Do what we say. Don't say what we do.

Advice Avengers out!

Excuse me.

Bless you. You okay?

Nah, it's nothing.

Why are you using your laptop?

Oh, I have a file in here I don't have on my other one.

Oh, goodness.

Hmm. I mean, is there dust in here?

Katya, you have to make the customers sign the receipts.

Otherwise, we don't get paid.

Please, I need pay.

My family need money for farm.

I'm gonna pay you. It's just they don't pay us.

Please don't lock in the basement.

I'm not gonna lock you in the basement.

My family will pay. Katya will be better.

Just make the customers sign the checks.

You sell me to Czechs?

Dude, either you need some new waitresses

or you gotta work on your Russian.

Anyway, I don't think I'm gonna be able to make it to the PE show.

All right. Whatever. I'll find somebody else.

You're married, you have kids, a wife,

something crazy came up. Won't be the first time.

You don't even wanna know what happened?

Kevin's got a big game.

Uh, Lindsey ran away with some guy on the internet.

Suzanne caught the Ebola virus.

You mother was attacked by badgers. I get it.

Actually, Suzanne was planning for us to go out.

And I forgot it was the anniversary of the night I proposed to her.

You did what?

He forgot what? I know.

I cannot believe he forgot your propose-versary.

"Propose-versary"?

Oh, my God I just came up with that just now.

Oh, my goodness. Excuse me.

Are you sure that's dust?

I don't know but it'll pass.

Well, I can't even believe he did this.

You know, there are days when I feel like I have

the best man a woman could have,

and then there are days I feel like he has an idiot twin brother

and they're playing the world's cruelest trick on me.

So, of course, he is not going to the concert.

Not if I know what's good for me.

Look, Nick, I know you don't wanna hear this from me

but you have to take a stand.

What am I supposed to do with that?

I don't know. You're the one who wants to go to the concert.

Boy, I can't wait for you to get married.

I can. I'd rather live in a Siberian prison.

Hey, baby.

Listen, um,

can we talk about Saturday?

I'm listening.

Okay, look,

I've got an idea.

And I think it might make both of us very happy.

All right?

Why don't you and I go to the concert together?

Really?

Aw! Me, you and Martin listening to Night of the Living Baseheads,

celebrating our love.

Not me, you and Martin. Me and you.

I checked, there's still tickets available.

Yeah, I'm gonna have to say no.

Listen, Nick, I know you're not the most romantic man on earth

but you're gonna have to do better than Night of the Living Baseheads.

I'm romantic.

Not you, that.

Wait, wait. But what does "romantic" really mean? Huh?

"Romance,

the pleasurable feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love."

I love you, you love me.

We both love Public Enemy.

And there's gonna be mystery, all right?

When they sing Welcome to the Terrordome.

How fat is Terminator X now?

Will the show start on time? Mystery, ooh. What's next?

Nick, that's not my definition of romance.

Baby, but real love, okay,

the kind that lasts

is when two people decidin' what's best for each other, all right?

So, whether that's drinking Cabernet Sauvignon at Marbella's

or nodding your head to Meet the G That Killed Me,

that's gonna be a very special day to me.

Nuh-uh.

Oh. All right, all right.

You know what? Just for the record

as long as we celebratin' things, okay,

I'm not the only one who forgot a special day. Mm-hmm.

Oh, really? What did I forget?

Well, today is the anniversary of the day I asked you to go out

for the day I asked you to marry me.

Now, you know, you messed up now.

Okay, now you're being ridiculous.

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. So when it's your day, all right, it's important.

But when it's my day I'm being ridiculous?

Huh? Is that how it's gonna be?

Oh, cool, cool, okay.

Then you know what? I'll just go and go to the show.

And I will text you when they play Can't Do Nuttin' for Ya Man.

Good morning!

Morning.Hey.

Oh, hey, you finished the gift basket already.

Yeah. I ended up having a lot of free time on my hands last night.

Sorry. Don't worry, it'll work out.

Oh, my gosh.

Bless you. Are you sure you're not catching a cold?

No, it's probably nothing.

Oh, my God.

All right, I guess I'm just gonna go wait in the car.

And don't worry, I won't sneeze on your coffee.

Oh, my gosh.

Wow.

Mom, what's wrong?

Don't say anything, but I think Gigi's faking sick.

Why do you think that?

Usually when she gets sick it just hits her all at once

and she calls and says, "I'm not coming in."

But she's all sniffling and sneezing.

She sounds like you guys do when you're faking sick

and you're trying to get out of something.

Why would Gigi fake being sick?

Because tomorrow's the big Barnstrom sale and I know she wants to go.

I don't understand why she doesn't just ask.

Wait, wait. Are you leavin'?

Yeah.

Well, I just wanted to find out what you were doing on Sunday.

I'll be here being pissed off about Saturday. Why?

It's the anniversary of our first full day of being engaged.

We usually have eggs and toast.

Bye.

I was gonna make a reservation at IHOP.

Hey.

Baby, I'm sorry about this morning.

I was upset.

And the truth is

I was mad at myself for not remembering something that was that special.

Honestly,

if we celebrated every special day we had

every day would be an anniversary.

You really wanna go to that concert.

I do. I really, really do.

But look, I really am sorry, okay?

And it's up to you.

Look, if you don't wanna go then I will turn Saturday

into the best 22 hours you've had all year.

Uh-uh. That is our day.

I am going to that show with you.

Because there's no place on Earth I would rather be

than next to you, celebrating our love, listening to

My Uzi Weighs A Ton.

Yeah, boy!

Good morning.

Gigi. What?

You can't do this.

Do what?

We know you're faking sick so you can go to that Barnstrom sale.

What are you talking about? I am sick!

See?

Gigi. What?

Mom knows you're faking.

All right, I don't know how the two of y'all found me out,

but I have your mother fooled so y'all can stay out of it.

I have it on good advice that this is the way to handle it.

We know, Gigi because we're the ones that gave it to you.

What?

We are...

The Advice Avengers!

Come to say you all...

From whatever your problem is.

Oh, my gosh.

Gigi, Mom knows you're lying.

If you do this there's gonna be trouble.

Morning.

Should I ask?

No.No.

Is this gonna come back and embarrass me in any way?

No.Carry on.

You feeling all right? Oh, yeah.

I'm much better. I thought I was coming down with something, but I was wrong.

Are you ready? Yeah, I'm ready.

Hey, um,

isn't today the start of that big Barnstrom sale?

Oh, is it?

Aw, man, and I really wanted to go to that.

Well, I guess I'll just have to,

you know, run by after work,

and hopefully, they'll have some, you know, good pieces left. I guess.

Or... Or what?

Or I could drop you off on the way in

and pick you up at lunch.

Really? Are you sure?

I'm sure. Yay!

Thank you! You're welcome.

You know, if you see something cute, pick something up for me.

You know I will.

Gigi.Yeah.

You will see something cute.

Oh, hey, babe.

I'm just finishing up. I'll be ready in a few minutes.

I've got everything you need right here.

Bam! Oh.

Oh, honey.

These are beautiful. You didn't have to do this.

Yes, I did.

I wanted to make sure you know how special you are to me.

Well, thank you.

Oh, and look what I did.

I washed your PE shirt.

What's that? I got you a shirt, too.

Let me see.

Oh!

And we can drink this on the way.

Nick, are you nuts?

We cannot drive around with an open bottle of wine in the car.

Who said I was driving?

Who's driving?

Our driver.

You got us a limo?

Yes!

Oh, honey.

Now here's what I want you to do for me.

Put your shirt on and let's get in the car.

Okay!

All right. Yeah, boy!

Are you ready? I'm ready!

Are you ready?

PE in the house!

Tonight was good!

Almost as good as the night you proposed.

Man, nothing went according to plan that night.

Except you saying yes.

Is that why you showed up all late?

Without any money for dinner.

Yeah.

Well, if you're gonna ask your woman to pay,

it better be after giving her a diamond ring.

This is good.

Mmm. You know,

I never told you this,

but Malcolm's birthday was the next day.

And we were over at Martin's crib,

just chilling, watching the game,

and celebrating early.

And then, you know, time just got away from me...

Wait a minute. What is it?

Malcolm's birthday is on the 16th.

So? Well, I proposed to you on the 15th.

Not the 16th that we've been celebrating it on.

Wow! Look at the time!

See? I gotta go to bed. It's late. Love you, baby. Bye.

No, no, no. You come back here, Suzanne!

Come back here!

And you admit you were wrong!

Hey! You know what?

I will always remember this day, Suzanne!