Original subtitles

But, see, I know I have liked a lot of guys,

but, uh, this one's different.

Really? Yes!

Okay, so, how so?

Okay, well, you know that

tingling feeling you get when your body is...

Is just, like, literally and figuratively on fire?

Okay, that might not be love.

That might be a problem.

Whatever.

Hey, baby. Okay, but, Gigi...

Yeah. All right,

what do you really know about him?

A lot. I mean, he is on the cover of this magazine,

Dwight Stratton, the real Jerry Maguire.

Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. You are going out with Dwight Stratton?

Yes. You know him?

Know him? I've only been calling his office for weeks

trying to get an interview with his client,

this Russian Kid, uh, Vladislov Dzhamgerchinov.

This kid is amazing! He's like...

Okay, I'm talking about me right now.

Gigi. What?

I have got to talk to this kid.

Can you get me a meeting with Dwight?

Why would I do that, Nick?

So, I can stop thinking about this dumb interview

and pay attention to what's going on between you and Dwight.

Really?

Can you do it?

I could try.

Then I'm all ears.

Really? He's cute.

He is cute! I know. Look at his ears.

♪ Are we there yet?

♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me

♪ Tell me, are we there yet?

♪ Are we there yet?

How did you fail the test, man?

It's not my fault. The teacher shouldn't just pop a quiz on me.

Hey, Lindsey, what's up?

Meh.

Dude, that's why it's called a pop quiz,

not "Hey, watch out, here comes a quiz" quiz.

That's why you have to study.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, uh, what are you up to, Lindsey?

Nothing.

Dude, can't you see she's busy?

She's been texting people all day long

trying to find out what's wrong with her face.

Oh, ho-ho! Whoa, whoa, whoa.

That's not how you talk to a lady, Kev. Apologize.

You're joking, right?

What am I, a comedian?

Okay, I'm sorry you think she's a lady.

It's okay, Frankie.

He's an idiot. He can't help it. Thanks.

Dude, what's with you?

A'ight. Don't tell anybody I said this, but, uh...

I think I like her.

What is wrong with you, man?

I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. Man, sit down.

Listen, Frankie, no offense, but I don't think you're her type.

Well, what's her type?

Anybody but you.

I mean, look, you're a hustler.

You're not book smart, you get tutored by a 13-year-old,

you're 15, and you're in the eighth grade.

So?

So, she'd rather get stung in the face

by a pack of killer bees than go out with you.

So, she likes bees. What does that got to do with me?

Hey, Marilyn.

Hey.

Reading, huh?

Yeah.

What?

Okay, so... Ah! Hold on.

Okay, now I'm ready.

Okay, it's about this boy, but you have to promise not to tell anybody.

Girl, who am I gonna tell? I'm not 15.

It's not like I go to school with you. We don't hang.

I don't know who you know.

You know Will from around the corner?

The boy with the lazy eye?

He got it fixed. Anyway, he's super cute now.

Okay, so a friend of mine told me that he asked for some help in tutoring.

And I was like, "Seriously?" And she's like, "Seriously."

And I'm like, "Yeah?" And she's like, "I think he likes you."

I'm like, "Uh-uh," and she's like, "Uh-huh."

And I'm like, "Oh, my gosh."

Okay, okay.

I see you like 'em a little dumb.

Actually, I've been that route myself.

He's not dumb, dumb. He's just not book smart.

He's more of a hustler.

Ooh. I've been that route, too.

Really?

Girl, please. Back in my day...

Are you guys talking about who I think you're talking about?

If you think I'm talking about

"shut up and mind your own business," then, yes.

Well, I already know, so whatever.

Gosh, you are so nosy.

And yes, but you better not tell him.

Like I even talk about you.

Didn't his mama have a lazy eye too?

Well, well, well, so, who do we have here?

Well, Suzanne... Mm-hmm.

This is Dwight Stratton.

Dwight, this is my best friend, Suzanne.

Her husband, Nick, is the sportscaster I was telling you about.

And we were on our way to lunch.Ah.

Well, it's a pleasure to meet you. Nice to meet you.

I feel like I already know you.

Well, Dwight, I don't know you,

so, why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself?

Well, I, uh...

Have you ever been married? No.

You like kids? Yes.

Do your kids like you? What?

How old are they now? What? I don't have any kids.

That you know of. Is that how you do? I didn't say that.

What are you trying to say?

I'll have kids that I know of when I meet the right woman.

When you meet the white woman?

What? Suzanne, enough.

That is enough.

Dwight... Yes.

This is my friend.

If she has a problem with you,

then you've got a problem with me, you get it?

I got it.Okay.

Have her back here by 3:00.

Ooh, 3:00!

Thank you.

Yeah, yeah.

Your girlfriend Suzanne is crazy.

She is.

Hey. Anybody been asking for me?

I'm supposed to meet this guy here.

I already know all these drunks.

There is that one guy back in the corner, but from the looks of him,

I don't think he's waiting for you.

That's him. Who?

The guy, the sports agent I was telling you about.

I thought he was going out with Gigi.

He is.

Oh.

Wow, that's awkward.

Uh, what do I say?

Tch.

Hey, pal, can I get you anything else?

No, I'm good. Uh, is that Nick?

Dwight Stratton? Hey.

What's up, buddy? Good to see you.

Brother, look, I have been a fan for a long time.

Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that, man.

I met your wife today.Oh.

She's tough, man.

Oh, you ain't got to tell me.

And Gigi?

She's more than a dime. She's a quarter.

She's, like, almost like having two dimes. You know what I'm saying?

And a nickel.

You know my motto?

No.One dime at a time.

Let me talk to you, man.

All right, no disrespect,

but the only reason I'm meeting you is because Gigi asked me.

And I hate to cut to the chase, but go.

I want to interview Vladislov.

I haven't let him talk to anybody, so why would I let him talk to you?

For starters, I've been a fan

since he was on the Russian National Team.

And remember, when he went to

the Eastern Bloc All-Star Weekend?

Yeah, the Dunk Contest?

Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.

This man jumped from the free-throw line,

over a car with two basketballs, on a 12-foot rim. Boom!

I signed him on the spot. Right there.

And there it is.

Listen, I want to make Vladislov Dzhamgerchinov a household name.

You know what? You got the interview.

Thank you, Dwight! Thank you.

It's all good. I'll call you tomorrow with the details,

and since you got the interview, you got the check.

Hey, well, I got it. Thank you.

I cannot believe this!

Me neither, man. I mean, what are you gonna tell Gigi?

Well, until after the interview, nothing.

Put that on my tab.

Ugh, you know I don't like you, right?

I had forgotten, but thanks for reminding me.

So, if I did you a favor, don't take it the wrong way.

Oh, so you mean you don't actually hate me?

No. Now, look.

Remember that guy you were talking about the other day?

I mean, the guy that you like

that I promised I wouldn't say anything about?

Kevin, what did you do? Hold on. Calm down.

Who said I did anything?

Look, all I'm saying is that I have it good authority that he likes you, too.

Kevin, don't play with me like that.

Look, if I wanted to torture you, I'd chain your face to a mirror.

But you are my sister, and I want you to be happy

even if that does mean I have to...

Throw up in my mouth a little bit.

So, wait. He told you that?

What were his exact words?

I don't know. At some point,

he said "like" and "Lindsey,"

and then I went into shock.

What?

Hey, Lindsey, how you doing?

Hey, Frankie.

You look happy. I am!

Oh, man, I can't believe she's talking to me.

Yeah, that's 'cause I just told her.

What? Oh!

Man, I can't believe this is happening.

Yeah.

I know.

Go get that checked.

It looks like you got your interview all set.

And you know this.

Well, you owe Gigi one.

Well...

Yeah, I guess so.

Nick, why are you making that face?

Gigi got you your interview with Vladislov Jerjaminov.

No, it's Dzhamgerchinov.

Dzhamgerchinov, baby.

What did I say?

Baby, I need to talk to you about something,

and you have to promise to not say anything.

Okay, I promise. What's going on?

All right, you know Dwight, right?

When I went to meet him,

he was with another woman.

What?

Wait. Nick, are you sure?

Baby, look, they were touching each other's faces,

holding hands,

hugging, kissing, everything.

I knew there was something off about him.

Ugh, Gigi's gonna be devastated.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, no, she's not...

'Cause she's not gonna know.

Nick, I have to tell her.

Baby, you got to do me a favor, all right?

And this is a big one.

Now, I hate to make you choose

between your husband and your friend,

but, baby, you cannot tell Gigi

until after this interview.

Nick, really?

Suzanne, I need this interview!

We need this interview, okay?

Look, just let it wait a day, all right? Just a day.

What if you found out

that your mother was dating a guy who had two wives?

What would you do?

I'd give her a brochure on Utah, and tell her right after the interview.

What about if you found out

that the man was on the FBI's most wanted list?

I'd call the tip line right after the interview.

Fine!

But I'll tell you what.

This interview better be good.

To Vladislov Dzhamgerchinov.

Hmm.

Dude, this crazy.

ESPN is patching me in on SportsCenter.

And I'm sure when Gigi finds out that you let her date this creep

for a few extra days to get this interview,

she'll think it was all worth it.

I call man code, all right?

Whatever happens between Dwight and Gigi is not my business.

You keep telling yourself that.

Look, I told Suzanne already, okay?

She'll tell Gigi after the interview.

Okay. Not a problem.

Everybody, what's up?

Dwight. Good to see you.

Here are the questions for the interview. Don't get clever.

Stick to the script.

Not a problem.Okay.

All right, so, uh, how's everything going with you and Gigi?

Uh... Let me get one of those.

What's going on?

That's over.

What happened?

Haters. That's what happened.

What... What do you mean?

Haters got in her ear and told her,

that they saw me with another woman.

Uh, look, I'm not trying to get all in your business,

but if somebody saw something,

you know, they saw what they saw.

That doesn't really make them a hater.

I get that. But it's not true.

Here's the thing, I wasn't with another woman,

so whoever said that is lying, thus, hating.

Well, somebody must have saw something,

I mean, or why would they say that?

'Cause they're haters, and that's what haters do. They hate.

Hate don't see straight.

And whenever I find out who did it, trust me, they gonna hate it.

What up, big bro? Oh.

What's up, little sis?

Mmm. Good to see you.

Mmm.

Oh...

Hey, uh, guys, this is my little sister Jenny.

Sister?

She bangin', right?

No, you bangin'.No, you bangin'.

Oh.

She lucky she my sister.

Oh, uh, would you like a chair?

No, no, come on, baby, sit right here. Sit right here.

Well, it's nice to meet you.

Um, you didn't say anything about having a sister.

You must have missed her. She came in the other day.

So, can I get you guys anything?

Food or a room?

Oh, nah, we got to get back to the hating.

You know the hate don't wait.

Right. All right. All right. Hey...

Thanks again. Good luck.

You got it. You got it. All right, nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you. Walk it out, baby. Walk it out.

Dude, can you believe that?

I know. She's worse than LisaRaye and that daughter of hers.

I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about Suzanne!

Can you believe she told?

No, you told.

At least Suzanne's a girl. Hater.

I hate you!

Okay, and I know "hate" is a harsh word, and that's why I'm using it.

If you wanted to try and embarrass me, you did.

You're evil. I hope you're happy.

Whoa, what did I do?

You told me Will liked me,

and so I go over there like a fool and tell him how much I like him.

And I said someone, not you,

because I was trying to not make you look like a snitch, told me that he liked me.

And guess what. He told me he never even said that!

Wait, Will?

With the lazy eye?

He got it fixed!

I didn't tell Will you like him. I told Frankie.

You told Frankie I liked him?

Yes, that's who I thought you were talking about.

Are you out of your mind?

Sorry.

Right.

You told him I like him. You tell him I don't.

Just like that?

I could punch you in the face first.

Okay, I'll do it.

Hey.

Hey.

Nick, I'm sorry, okay?

But what was I supposed to do? I had to tell her.

Baby, look, I know she's your friend.

I know you have to protect her.

But I'm gonna tell you something,

and, baby, this time, you have to...

Have to promise

you will not say a word.

I promise.

Dwight's not cheating on Gigi.

What?

Yeah, you know, it turns out

the woman that I saw him with,

it was his sister.

But, wait. You said that they were all hugged up,

and kissing and touching and everything.

They were.

Oh, my God.

I know.

Wait, Nick. No, no.

You promised.

Whoo! C-plus, baby.

That's what I'm talking about, man.

Kev, you're a good guy.

Hey, uh, where's your sister? I made her a mix tape.

Oh, yeah, about that.

There's something I kind of have to tell you. Sit down, Frankie.

I'm all ears.

Okay, one, that's a CD. Nobody uses those anymore.

And two, when I told you that Lindsey likes you,

I may not have gotten that exactly right.

Well, how so?

She doesn't like you.

Doesn't like me how?

Like, you know, how you like her?

She doesn't like you like that.Whoa. Whoa.

Shut down the wiretap. What are you telling me?

Okay, I made a mistake. I heard her talking about some dude that she likes,

and it sounded like she was talking about you.

Well, who's the guy? Will from down the block.

The one with the lazy eye? He got it fixed.

A'ight, well, that sucks.

Oh.

Hey, Frankie.

Hey, Lindsey.

Uh...

Hey, Linds...

Like, I don't want things to get weird,

and your brother told me the whole story.

And, uh...

For the record, I get it. It's cool.

Thanks.

Yeah, not a problem.

Um, I got you a mix tape.

A CD? Thanks.

Well, I guess I'll see you later.

All right. See you.

What's wrong with you?

All right, Vlad. Are you ready?

Da.You introduce me Beyonce?

Yeah. Yeah, I got you.

Oh, Dwight, I need to talk to you.

Hey, uh, Gigi, Suzanne, what are you doing here?

I'm sorry, Nick. I tried to stop her.

Gigi, Dwight,

hey, maybe this can wait till after the interview.

No, it can't.

Dwight, I am sorry 'cause I just found out

that you were telling the truth and you weren't cheating on me.

You told?

I had to! I'm sorry.

Told what?

Okay, Dwight, Nick told Suzanne that he saw you

with another woman down at Martin's bar.

You're the hater?

I'm not a hater.

No, no, 'cause once he found out the truth,

he told Suzanne, Suzanne told me, and now I'm telling you,

and it was just all a misunderstanding.

If someone would have kept their mouth shut

like I asked them to,

there wouldn't be anything to misunderstand.

I was looking out for my friend!

Oh, okay, good, good. Well, you know, now that we got that all taken care of,

hey, let's go to the interview.

You introduce me J.Lo?

Yeah, I got you.

Hold on, man.

Gigi, you know I like you, right?

And I like you, too.

All right! Hey, that's great!

Everybody's happy.

Now, can we get Vlad a soft mic, please?

You introduce me Laker girls?

I got you.

The fact of the matter is I just don't think this is gonna work out.

What are you trying to say?

I don't do drama, Gigi.

You got all these friends in your ear telling you whatever.

It happened once. It can happen again.

Are you really breaking up with me?

You broke up with me, Gigi.

I'm just not getting back together with you.

Okay, Dwight, wait. This is all my fault.

I know.

Hi, big brother.

Hey, baby sis.

Mmm...

Good to see you.

Ew!

That's your sister?

Yeah, she bangin', right?

No, you bangin'.No, you bangin'.

No, you bangin'.No, you bangin'.

That's who I saw him with.

And y'all were doing that?

What are you talking about?

You all over him like weaves on Housewives.

That's just weird.

So, I don't like you, and I'm weird now? Yeah.

Oh, no, see, if that's how you do your sister,

you've been weird for a long time.

Oh, well, hey, live and learn. All right, let's clear cameras.

Come on, Jenny. We out.Yeah.

Hey, hey, Dwight, Dwight, hey, hey, man. Look, look,

I am not a hater.

I just never seen a brother and sister kiss like that.

Man, it's unusual, man!

Dwight... What?

Please?

Vlad. Da.

We out. Come on, baby.

Goodbye, hater.