Original subtitles

Wow, don't you look professional.

Really? You think so? Because that's the look I was going for.

You know, stylish, but not too street,

but not too office-y, not too busy.

Like, I wanted it to look like I just got up and threw this on,

but, like, I got my things so down,

I didn't even have to think about it.

Well, that is exactly how it looks.

Well, I know it looks like you don't think, but I thought that already.

Kevin, be quiet.

Lindsey, you should learn a lot at this internship

down at your father's station.

I know. I can't believe I'm going to be helping out with an actual newscast.

I told Kelly, and she was like, "No, you're not."

And I was like, "Yes, I am." And she was like, "O.M.G."

And I was like, "Jealous, much?"

And she was like, "Are you gonna be on TV?"

And I was like, "What if I was?"

And she was like, "If you were?" And I was like, "I know..."

Okay, honey. Honey, honey.

I'm just so happy that you're excited.

Hey, Mom, can I have some money

to buy Dad a gift for his birthday this weekend?

What happened to saving your allowance?

Oh, I've been saving up for weeks, but then an emergency came up.

Mm-hmm, what emergency?

This new video game, had to put it on reserve.

Super Crash Cousins. It's so awesome.

I mean, it has all the characters from Crash Cousinsl and II plus Thor,

Green Lantern, Shaquille O'Neal,

oh, and Donkey from Shrek.

So, Kevin, you just had to put that on reserve?

Yes.

No.

Why?

You had money. You made a choice.

Your father lost to Donkey.

Kevin, you're gonna have to figure out how to get your dad a gift on your own.

All right.

But when the man ends up with a $10 smoothie card,

it's on you.

Uh-oh, looks like somebody's ready to go to work.

Really? You think so?

Because that's the look I was going for. You know, stylish but not too street...

Hey, honey, honey, honey.

Whoo, what you looking at over there?

I was checking this thing out on Trade Table Mall.

I'm thinking about getting this for my birthday.

Look, it's a wireless remote grill thermometer.

No.

What?

This is why you're so difficult to buy a present for.

Oh, you were gonna get me a wireless remote grill thermometer?

No.

Your birthday is in a few days, so until then,

can you not give yourself a present, so you allow someone else to give you one?

Fine. But next time I'm in the kitchen,

and the burgers are burning on the patio,

that's on your head, baby.

♪ Are we there yet?

♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me

♪ Tell me, are we there yet?

♪ Are we there yet?

So, what do you think?

Is that a watch, or is that a watch?

It's gorgeous!

Oh, my God, Nick is gonna love it.

Ooh, I love a man with a nice watch,

nice shoes, nice-nice car, nice house, nice arms...

Hello?

Not about you.

All right, so this is a lot of money for you.

$1,000 for a watch.

I know, but the one thing I'm sure of

is that Nick will never buy this for himself.

Well, we should get it.

I can't, at least not yet.

See, I want it to be a surprise,

but if I use one of our credit cards to purchase it,

Nick will know immediately.

What, does he work at the watch store?

No, it's just, we have fraud alert on all of our credit card accounts,

so if there's any unusual activity or large transactions,

the bank will call.

Wow, that's smart. You know, a woman,

she tried to steal my identity once.

Well, how'd you find out?

She stole my credit info

and tried to charge a pair of shoes and a purse for $160.

That's not that much.

That's how we knew it was fraud.

So, wait a second. If you can't get the money out of your account,

how are you gonna get it?

I was thinking of asking Marilyn for a loan.

Oh, Marilyn?

Your mother-in-law, Marilyn?

Yeah, I know.

I probably have a better chance of asking for peace in the Middle East.

Oh, my God, what happened in Chicago?

So, how's it going?

Learning anything?

Yeah, as a matter of fact, I am.

I learned how to clear a paper jam in the copy machine.

I learned how to categorize restock requests for office supplies,

and I also learned how Brick Street likes his coffee.

Mmm, that's good.

That's what being an intern is all about.

When do I get to do some actual news stuff?

Oh, when you graduate high school, go to college,

graduate college, come back, apply for a job,

get the job, keep the job,

and then hopefully, finally get promoted to doing real news stuff.

What'd you think, you were just gonna walk in here and start anchoring the news?

I didn't think I'd be getting coffee for everybody and their brother.

And your father.

One medium, black, one sugar. Thank you.

Kevin, what are you doing?

Nothing.

Okay, well,

for reasons beyond my control,

I don't have any money to buy Dad a gift for his birthday.

And since you won't give me any,

I've decided to sell some stuff on eBay.

What kind of stuff?

Oh, you know, just some stuff laying around the, uh, house.

Boy, this is all my stuff.

I know. You have the best stuff, Mom.

You are not selling my stuff. Now, go see who's at the door.

Oh, Marilyn, what a nice surprise.

You called me over here.

I know, I'm just surprised you actually came.

So, is that the stuff for me?

Yeah, now, what did you need this for again?

Well, as you know, Dad's birthday's this weekend,

and I don't really have that much money right now, so...

So, he decided to sell other people's stuff on eBay

to raise enough money to buy Nick a gift.

Well, here you go.

I mean, this is just some stuff I had laying around.

I don't know how much it's worth.

But hey, if you can get some money for it, great.

And if you can't, don't blame me.

Okay, thanks, Grandma.

You're welcome, baby.

Ugh.

Marilyn,

I'm glad that you're here because I actually wanted to talk to you.

About what?

Nick's birthday gift.

Mm-hmm.

As you know, your son is nearly impossible to buy for,

but this year,

I want to surprise him with a beautiful watch.

Hmm, so what's the problem?

It costs $1,000.

And you want me to go in on it with you?

Not exactly.

Then what, exactly?

I need you to loan me the $1,000.

No, I'll pay you back after Nick's birthday.

May I suggest you sell some stuff on eBay?

Marilyn, it's not like I don't have the money.

Oh, yes, it is, or you wouldn't be asking me for it.

It's just if I use one of our credit cards,

or take the money out of our checking account,

Nick will know immediately, and it'll ruin the surprise.

Guess what. What?

I don't care.

Anyway, a surprise is only a surprise if it happens.

If it never happens, how can you ruin it?

You know, she's got a point, Mom.

Anybody ask you?

Shh. Who's that?

Marilyn. Hmm?

Are you gonna help me or not?

Tell you what.

I'll surprise you.

I know. It's, like, totally lame.

I mean, seriously, coffee?

If I wanted to work at Starbucks,

I would have just gone to Starbucks.

Lindsey!

I'll call you back.

What are you doing?

You are at work. You're not supposed to be on the phone.

You're right. I do need to focus.

I wouldn't want to put the sodas in the fridge wrong,

or load the printer paper with the holes on the wrong side,

or give Jennifer Ming a salad

with all the dressing on the side

instead of half the dressing on the top and half the dressing on the side.

Is that what she's always complaining about?

That and her parking space.

Apparently, it's too far,

so I've had to go to her car, like, five times,

because everything she needs, she left in her car.

She left her phone in the car. She left her credit card in the car.

She left her sunglasses in the car.

It's like, lady, seriously, don't you have a purse?

See? You're learning.

That right there is some serious news reporting.

Now, look, I need you to go to post-production,

have them put my clip package on this hard drive.

Stay off the phone, and be where people can find you.

Anything else?

Yeah.

Lindsey is driving me crazy.

Speaking of crazy, I officially hate this new phone.

Can't figure out how to put numbers in it. I can't use the camera.

Can't even figure out how to read my text messages.

Let me see that.

All right, it says here you've got nine unheard voicemails,

uh, 57 unread emails, and one text message.

Oh, let's start there.

All right, look.

All you have to do is press this envelope, and you can get all your messages.

Hmm. Look,

you've got one from Suzanne.

Ugh, what does she want?

I don't know, it's your message.

Boy, stop playing and just read the message.

It's your message. Why don't you read it?

Because I am busy making myself a sandwich.

Yeah, but look, it's yours.

Boy.Girl.

Nick. What?

It says,

"Marilyn, thanks again for the loan.

"I'll pay you back A.S.A.P."

Mama, what's that about?

It's about my business and none of yours.

Did Suzanne borrow money from you?

No.

Yeah, I couldn't figure out how to get my text messages,

so I called Suzanne, and I asked her to send me a test message,

and I guess that's what she sent with her crazy self.

Your wife's so crazy.

Ma, what's going on?

Nothing.

Something.

Boy.Girl.

What? Ma!

Damn. Okay, I did lend Suzanne money,

but you don't have to go all Abu Ghraib on me.

Why is Suzanne borrowing money from you?

How much was it?

$1,000.

$1,000? What for?

She wants a nose job.

What? A nose job, why?

I don't know. She hates her nose.

Why would she hate her nose? I love her nose.

I... Honey, I don't know.

I don't know. All I know is that...

Look, you cannot tell her I told you this.

I mean, she made me swear I wouldn't tell you a word.

I'm sorry, Ma. I got to say something.

What? Oh, really?

Well, just know that you are going to ruin

what little bit of relationship we did have.

I mean, that woman trusted me with her secret,

and now you're gonna mess it all up just because you like her nose?

I mean, her nose, really? Really?

Does it really always have to be about you?

What?

Think about it.

And give me my phone. Nosey.

Hey, where's Nick?

He's with Martin.

Okay, look, I'm sorry, but Nick knows about the loan.

You told him?

No, he read your text message.

Well, what was he doing with your phone?

Is that really what's important right now?

Does he know about the watch?

No, but here's the thing.

I had to make up a cover story.

So, what's the cover story?

I told him I loaned you the money so you could get a nose job.

You what?

Marilyn! A nose job? That is ridiculous!

And he believed that?

Yeah.

I don't need a nose job!

Nobody said you needed a nose job.

And he believed that I think I need one?

Yes, because I told him.

He also believed he was gonna be the first black member of the Fantastic Four.

I'm very convincing.

And you couldn't convince him of something else?

That was the first thing I thought of.

But look, bottom line? You want to surprise your man?

Stick to the story.

I can't believe Suzanne wants a nose job.

I love her nose.

Eh, sometimes women have flaws only they can see.

I dated a woman once with a nose job.

There was absolutely nothing wrong with her nose.

So, it was all in her head?

Yeah, I mean, that's the bizarre thing about plastic surgery.

Once somebody gets it in their head that they need it,

there's no talking them out of it.

Take Michael Jackson.

People loved dark-skin Mike, but he didn't believe it.

People loved medium-dark skin Mike.

He didn't believe it.

People loved light-skin Mike with the perm and lipstick.

He didn't believe it.

People even liked light-skin Mike

with his surgical mask and the wig and the pajamas.

And your point is?

She must be stopped.

Well, how am I supposed to do that?

Well, you could bring her down here,

and have her take a look at what her future face looks like.

What are you staring at?

How beautiful you are.

Thank you.

No. Thank you.

Nick, I've been meaning to talk to you about something.

Is it about how fine you are?

No. Baby, listen.

No, no, no, no. You listen.

Do you know I love every part of you?

From your lips to your hips,

from your toes to your nose.

My nose?

Yes, baby, your nose.

I don't know if I ever told you this,

but your nose is one of the things that made me propose.

Okay, that's just ridiculous.

You know what else I love about your nose?

Is the way it crinkles up when you get frustrated.

Nick, would you listen to me, please?

Like it's doing right now.

Nick. And who cares if it's a little flat?

You think my nose is flat?

What?

Not flat in a bad way, flat in a good way.

I never noticed it, but...

Mmm, it is a little flat.

Gigi... What?

I'm messing with you. Your nose is fine.

I don't know.

Now, Nick's got me wondering

if there are other things he thinks are wrong with me

that he's just not saying anything about.

Has he said anything about your feet?

No, why? What's wrong with my feet?

You know, you're gonna have to ask him.

You know, I really don't like you right now.

I'm just messing with you. Come on.

Has he said anything about your hair?

What's wrong with my hair?

Nothing $1,000 can't fix.

You're not helping.

Because I'm messing with you.

Come on, don't you see how silly this all is?

Well, I guess you do have a point.

Has he said anything about your thighs?

So, now I need lipo?

Um, no. You don't need lipo.

Come on, Suzanne.

I mean, there is nothing wrong with your feet, your hair, your nose.

I'm just teasing you because you have created this monster.

If you didn't want so much, you wouldn't be in this mess.

What are you talking about?

The way I see it is, you have a choice.

Either you want Nick to think your nose is perfect and not surprise him,

or make him think you want the stupid nose job and surprise him.

I mean, you can't have it both ways.

Why can't I have it both ways?

Gosh, you want a lot, and it's not even your birthday.

Lindsey, what are you doing?

Nothing.

Exactly. Shouldn't you be busy?

I'm taking a break.

From what? Not working?

Did somebody tell you to take a break?

Do they have to?

Yes. You are at work.

You have a boss,

and your boss is asking me where you are because you're my daughter.

So, instead of me being where I need to be, doing what I need to do,

I'm over here trying to find out

why you're not doing what you're supposed to do.

Okay, okay. Sorry.

Break's over.

Oh, you know what? Stay on break.

No, Dad, I said I was sorry.

Lindsey.

I know you're not doing the most glamorous stuff around here, okay?

But the point is to show people you do whatever you have to do

to the best of your ability,

whether it's getting coffee or counting paperclips.

Look, it's about showing pride in your work.

I just don't understand why they can't get somebody else to do that stuff.

You're right.

We can.

You're fired.

Where's everybody at?

Surprise! Happy birthday!

Oh, thanks, guys.

Happy birthday, sweetheart.

All right.

A wireless remote grill thermometer.

I've tasted your burgers. You need all the help you can get.

Plus, I know you.

Mwah. Thank you, Mama.

And here you go, Dad. This one is from me.

Oh, thank you, sweetheart.

Oh-oh. But before you open it, I just want you to know,

I thought about what you said to me earlier,

and I'm sorry for having a bad attitude at the job.

And I'm sorry you had to fire me.

I'm sorry, too.

And if there's any chance you would re-hire me,

I promise to do a way better job this time around.

I'll think about it.

Okay, now open it.

All right.

Oh, my own coffee mug. Thank you, sweetheart.

Got your initials on it.

Thank you so much.

All right, ready, Dad? Open mine.

All right.

Whoa, a Spike Lee box set.

And it's autographed, too.

Mm-hmm.

It has all his best movies.

Girl 6, Get On The Bus,

Bamboozled, She Hate Me,

and it even has the director's cut of Miracle At St. Anna.

I mean, it doesn't get any better than that.

This must have been expensive.

Well, Marilyn gave me a bunch of stuff to sell on eBay.

And I got all this plus $200 in my PayPal account.

What did I give you that was worth that much money?

I don't know, stuff.

Where's Suzanne?

Hello.

Oh, my God. Baby, what happened?

Surprise!

Baby, what did you do?

Did I miss it? Am I late?

Suzanne. What?

What is wrong with your face?

She had a nose job.Uh-huh.

I can't believe you did this without telling me.

What did you think she was gonna do?

You said her nose was flat.

Don't be mad at me, baby.

I did it for you.

Happy birthday.

Baby, this is not what I wanted.

I wanted a wireless remote grill thermometer.

Then you should have said that, Nick.

Nobody's talking to you.

Baby, I love every part of you.

I wouldn't care if you had a flat nose,

a ratty weave jacked up feet, and cankles.

When I said for better or for worse, I meant it.

You didn't have to do this for me.

I didn't.

Happy birthday.

Did they fix it?

Nick, I didn't get a nose job!

All right, somebody please tell me what is going on here, please?

Honey, I was never going to get a nose job.

I borrowed the money from your mother,

so I could keep your real gift a secret.

Oh, baby!

This watch is amazing!

Not as amazing as what she went through to keep it from you.

Oh, I almost forgot. I got you something too.

Pow! A $10 smoothie card.

Well, thank you, Gigi.

What? Are you serious?

I was gonna get you that.

I could have saved $400.

$400?

Boy, what was in that box?

I don't know, stuff.