Original subtitles

Mom!

What is going on, sweetheart?

We were in the car with Uncle Terrence.

Listening to Lux 97.

The radio station?

Yes, and they're giving away a trip for two to see Rihanna!

In Los Angeles!

So, me and Lindsey are gonna team up and win the tickets!

Oh, my gosh!

I cannot wait to call Kelly.

She's gonna be like, "OMG, you're totally lying."

I'll be like, "No, I'm not." She's gonna be like, "Yes, you are."

And I'm gonna... All right, all right!

This is gonna be so awesome!

Kevin, I didn't know that you liked Rihanna.

I don't. I just wanna go to LA!

All we have to do is listen to the radio station for the next three days...

And after they play five songs without Rihanna in them...

If we're the 97th caller...

We win!

Rihanna! Los Angeles!

Rihanna! Rodeo Drive!

Okay, okay, okay! Wait, wait, wait!

Now, I don't want you guys to get your hopes up, okay?

I grew up trying to win those radio contests,

and it's not as easy as you think.

How hard could it be?

Yeah, nobody listens to the radio anymore.

You were listening.

That's cause we were over with Uncle Terrence.

And he's old.

Yes.

Right.

Okay, why don't you two get ready for dinner?

Okay.

♪ Ella, ella, eh, eh, eh

♪ Ella, eh, eh, eh

Okay, well, somebody's in a good mood!

That's because I just got two Diamond Club seats

to the Mariners-Yankees game this Saturday!

Bam!

Wow! That's right, wow!

Baby, these seats are so close,

the umpire asks you to hold a spit cup.

These seas are so close you have to duck when the batter swings.

Look, if the seats were any closer,

the pitch would be like, "Hey, man, get out of the way."

Honey, that is great!

Look, these tickets come with free drinks, private parking,

and an all-you-can-eat buffet in the clubhouse!

Man, Martin and I are gonna be in man heaven.

You're taking Martin?

Yes! Why?

Because he's my friend!

So, what, I'm not your friend?

That's not what I meant.

Well, that's how it seems.

So, you have your choice of people you can take

to your little "man heaven."

And the first person you think of is Martin?

Because he's your friend? Well, what does that make me?

Baby, you don't even like baseball.

That is not true.

Really? Name one baseball player.

Hank Aaron.

Name one baseball player that's played in the last 35 years.

Hank Aaron.

Look, the point is,

is that you should've asked me first.

Why? So you could turn right around, say no,

and then I ask Martin?

If you knew I was gonna say no, why didn't you just ask me?

I'll tell you why.

Because you didn't wanna take the chance that I might say yes,

because you didn't want to go with me,

you wanted to go with your friend.

Larry Bonds.

Barry Bonds, baby.

♪ Are we there yet?

♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me

♪ Tell me, are we there yet?

♪ Are we there yet?

I thought I was your friend.

I'm sorry, man. I fought hard for you, but...

It's just that she took me by surprise.

Osama bin Laden was taken by surprise.

Saddam Hussein was taken by surprise.

Anthony Weiner was taken by surprise.

You punked out.

I did not punk out.

We're gonna have to agree to disagree on that one.

But I will have you know that I had plans for that night.

I was gonna go out with Sophia.

That Italian woman? Yes!

You've been trying to go out with her for three months.

Why would you cancel a date with her to go to a baseball game?

Because you had two Diamond Club tickets.

I mean, I may get another chance with this chick.

When's the next time I'm gonna have a crack at those seats?

I'm sorry, man.

No, you're not.

You're apologizing.

But if I'm not able to hook up with Sofia again,

then you'll be sorry.

Come on, man.

What is up with this stupid website?

How are we supposed to listen to the radio

when we can't even get it on our computer.

I know, but don't worry. Dad said he'll be back soon.

Hey, guys.

Hey, Dad.

I just want you to know

that your problems are solved.

He's just... That's great.

Bam!

Or should I say...

Boom!

You got us a Decepticon?

No, this is my boom box.

You made a bomb?

It's not a bomb. it's a boom box.

I can't believe you kids never heard of one of these.

Back in the day, you walked around with this,

you were the baddest boy on the block.

What? Uh, uh.

You used to carry that?

Why not just put some rims on it and drive it?

I mean, what is all this stuff, anyway?

Look, dual cassette,

10-band graphic equalizer,

mic inputs, chrome sliders,

AM/FM shortwave 1 and shortwave 2 selectors,

reinforced dual-papercone woofers,

one-inch tweeter...

You could tweet from that?

You cannot tweet on this.

So, how do we turn it on? I mean, we're missing the contest.

Yeah. All right, all right,

I'm gonna turn it on. Hey, don't touch that. Don't do that.

Are you ready?

Ready for what?

My God! What is that?

It's my mix tape.

Dad, it's kinda loud.

That ain't loud.

There's a button for loud.

Do you hear that?

Yeah, what is that?

I like it.

Oh, I like that.

Oh! Hey!

Oh! Hey!

This is loud!

It's too loud, Dad!

Turn it off! Off!

Dad, please!

Turn it off!

Okay.

We just need to listen to the radio station for our contest.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Press this button right here.

I couldn't find a power cord, so...

I got you these.

What is this?

D batteries.

It should last for about an hour.

I'll pick you up some more later.

An hour?

What are you smiling about?

Because you are about to be a very happy woman.

And why is that?

Because you and me are going to the game.

Bam!

Well,

I thought you were going with your friend.

I was.

But then, I told him what happened.

And now, I'm going with you.

Bam!

I don't wanna go now.

Why not?

Because we both know you don't really want to go with me.

So, how could I possibly enjoy myself

when, the entire time, I would be thinking

that you would much rather be there with someone else?

Baby, if I didn't wanna go with you,

I wouldn't have cancelled on Martin.

No.

If you wanted to go with me, you would have asked me first.

I don't want your pity tickets.

What difference does it make?

I don't know. Ask your friend.

Good morning.

You're here early.

Yep.

Okay.

I'm asking.

Do you see men as your friends?

No. Why?

Nick got tickets to a baseball game, and he invited Martin.

And?

And he didn't ask me first.

And?

And when I asked him why, he said it's because Martin is his friend.

And?

And you don't get that?

No. Get what?

Nick doesn't consider me his friend.

Because you're not his friend, you're his wife.

So, you don't think husbands and wives can be friends?

No.

Why?

Okay.

Who are you talking to right now?

Me.Your friend.

Who are you not talking to right now?

Nick, your husband.

And that's because your friend is a person you talk to

when you're mad at your husband.

Now, if your husband is your friend,

and you're mad at him, who're you gonna talk to?

Gigi, that's ridiculous.

Mmm.

Then, why didn't you call him?

Uh-huh. You see?

See, you can be mad at Nick for not inviting you to the game,

but you cannot be mad at him for not being your friend.

I really hate you, sometimes.

That's okay.

That's what friends are for.

Okay, you can stop now. You made your point.

Don't you dare sing that song!

Don't!

That was Maroon 5 featuring Rihanna!

Keep listening for your chance to win tickets to see Rihanna

live in Los Angeles.

Remember, when you hear five songs

that don't have Rihanna in them,

be lucky caller number 97, and win here on Lux 97.

Coming up,

260 seconds of consecutive music...

How's it going?

This is crazy, okay?

I've been listening for the past four hours,

and everything they played has Rihanna on it.

I mean, look.

Kanye West, featuring Rihanna.

Jay-Z, featuring Kanye West, featuring Rihanna.

TI, featuring Rihanna!

Rihanna, featuring Rihanna!

Is there anything she doesn't sing on?

I know. I was listening to the PSA for DNA testing,

who sings the jingle? Rihanna.

Man, I can't believe we're a day in,

and they haven't played one single song without Rihanna.

This is gonna be a lot harder than we thought.

Ready to hear another song played from beginning to end?

Thought so.

Lux 97, we play the hits.

All right, this is Christina Aguilera, and the Star-Spangled Banner.

I think we got one.

Featuring Rihanna.

Hey, man. Here you go.

All right.

You sure about this?

Suzanne says she doesn't wanna go.

She doesn't want my pity tickets.

Why don't you just go yourself?

Why don't you get married,

get yourself some Diamond Club tickets,

tell your wife she's not your friend,

take me, and then find out?

You're acting like I'm the one who punked out on you.

I did not punk out.

You say "tomato," I say "punked out."

Anyway, thanks.

Maybe, just maybe,

if I tell Sophia I'm taking her to the game,

I'll get that second shot.

Yeah, well, have fun.

Just do me a favor.

Don't ever tell me how great those seats are.

All right? I'm serious.

If America is under attack,

and the only way we can find out who the terrorists are

is if you tell me how great those seats are,

don't tell me.

Listen, if the Rampart Division of the LAPD tells you

they'll tell you who shot Biggie if you tell me how great those seats are,

I don't wanna know.

Hey.

If Stedman Graham comes up to you,

and says he'll tell you what's really going on

with him, Oprah and Gayle,

if you tell me how great these seats are,

keep your mouth shut.

Hey, hey, hey.

You really don't know what's going on between Oprah and Gayle?

Fine, but all that other stuff still applies.

Coming up next, another Rihanna-thon right here on Lux 97.

Lux 97. More commercials, less songs.

Lux 97. We play the hits.

By the time they play a song without Rihanna,

I can grow up, get a job,

earn some money, and fly myself to LA.

I mean, how long are we supposed to listen to this stupid radio station?

Why don't you just put in the cassette and record everything,

and then sift through all the songs later?

Why are you carrying around a cassette tape?

I thought it was an iPhone cover.

I can't believe that's what came before iPods.

Yeah, except instead of holding thousands and thousands of songs,

this holds about ten.

Oh, you know what my dad said?

When he was younger, you couldn't even download.

It's true.

You either had to go to a store and buy your music,

or belong to a record and tape club.

You would send them the list of the records that you wanted,

and they would send them back to you.

It took weeks.

Okay, so, how does this work?

Just press these two buttons here, and we're good to go.

Lux 97. We play the hits.

You ready?

Yeah.

Bam!

What's all that?

It's for the game this weekend.

Cool.

I hope you got some tickets to go with that outfit.

Why?

Because I gave mine to Martin.

Why would you do that?

Because you didn't wanna go.

So, you just give the tickets away?

Because you said, "No, I don't want to go."

Well, you could've tried to talk me into it.

I did, right after you said, "No, I don't want to go."

You know,

I don't know what hurts more.

The fact that you went to Martin the first time,

or that you ran back to him,

and gave him the tickets the second time.

Right after you said, "No, I don't want to go."

I wish this was a different finger.

I got your message. You're kidding me, right?

Look, man, I hate to do this, but she said, "No, I don't wanna go."

Which apparently means she wants to go.

So, why didn't she just say that?

She did, right after she said, "No, I don't wanna go."

Wait, so does she want to go or not?

I don't know, man. I just need the tickets.

You should have seen her.

She got the Mariners T-shirt, she's got the big finger.

No, no, no. I got the big finger.

Man, it's not like that.

It is to me.

You know, you're not the only one with an angry woman on his hands.

Sophia was really looking forward to this game.

And now, what am I gonna tell her?

It's not the same thing.

Five hundred dollars.

What?

I'll give you the tickets, you give me $500.

That's what they're worth.

And it's gonna cost me at least that much

to not blow this with Sophia.

Are you serious?

Is my face pale?

Oh, I am not giving you $500, man.

Look, I'll just buy them online from somebody else.

Front row, Diamond Club tickets.

Do I need to tell you how good these seats are?

I'll just get some other seats.

Oh, okay. Then, when Suzanne casts here gaze down to the front row,

and sees me sitting in your seats,

I'll make sure to kinda crane my neck up,

nd give a little wave, if I can find you.

Will you take a cheque?

Do you have ID?

Hey, man. It's company policy.

I'm DJ Brian, and that was Nicki Minaj and Rihanna with Fly.

We'll be back in a minute on Lux 97.

Lux 97.

Kevin!

We play the hits.

What?

Why aren't you listening to the radio?

Don't worry, I got it covered, I put it in tape.

A what?

A cassette tape. Okay, look.

I've been recording the radio station for the past 45 minutes.

ll I have to do is hit "rewind,"

and then, we can skim through the songs in like two or three minutes.

What's that sound?

Uh-oh.

I cannot believe this.

We've been listening to the radio station for the past two days,

and you just blew it all in two minutes.

Yeah, for the record, this was Troy's idea.

It's about time!

If I tell you that I was able to fix the tape,

what's in it for me?

The satisfaction of fixing things afteryou totally screwed everything up?

Do you even like Rihanna, Troy?

Uh, personally, I think she's just a knockoff Ashanti,

and I love Ashanti.

Dude, focus, tape.

Yeah, I listened to it.

Ninety minutes, and there are only, like, four songs.

Well, we only need one more song without Rihanna,

and then, we can call it in.

So, what were the songs?

Uh, one with David Guetta,

one with Eminem,

one with Artists Stand Up for Cancer,

all with Rihanna.

That was only three, you said four.

Oh, yeah, and that new Chris Brown song.

Oh, my gosh! That's it! That's the fifth song!

How do you know?

It's Chris Brown. I guarantee you, Rihanna's not on that.

Yeah, yeah, she's right.

Quick, turn up the radio.

...we played or fifth and final song without Rihanna.

We're waiting for the 97th caller, but since nobody seems to be calling in,

how about this? We'll take the first caller.

It's ringing!

- Look at this! - We got a call!

Turn your radio down. Who is this?

Hi, this is Lindsey Kingston-Persons.

Am I the first caller?

I am?

Did we win?

Yes, stupid, now pass me the paper.

We're going to Los Angeles!

Rodeo Drive, here I come!

Hey.Hey.

Baby, I got something to ask you.

And...

I want an honest and simple answer.

Rod Jeter.

A-Rod and Derek Jeter.

All right.

Now, I don't want you to tell me what you think I'm thinking.

Or what you think I ought to be thinking.

I just want the truth.

Now, I got the game tickets back from Martin.

And I want you to go to the game with me.

My question is, would you like to go?

No.

Why not?

I don't wanna go to the game.

I never really wanted to go to the game.

I just wanted you to want me to got to the game.

I was being selfish.

So, go, have fun with Martin.

I'm sorry.

Is this a setup?

No, are you trying to get me to lower my defenses,

you can make it seem like it's all my fault,

so I don't know what hit me?

Already did that.

Why do you think you got the tickets back?

We at Lux 97 are so excited to finally have a winner.

So, all we need is your father to sign right here,

and you're on your way to Los Angeles to see Rihanna.

Okay, so where do I sign?

Right here.

You look familiar. Where have I seen you before?

Oh, um, my husband's a sports reporter for KAWT.

KAWT?

Uh-oh.

What's wrong?

KAWT is a sister station for Lux 97.

And, unfortunately, employees or their families aren't eligible to win.

So, they can't go to Los Angeles?

I'm sorry.

Wait! He's not our real dad.

Lindsey!

What? She's right.

He's our step-dad. Tell him, man.

Are you serious?

Yeah, it's Rihanna. In Los Angeles.

I mean, you're the one bringing up technicalities.

I'm sorry, kids. Rules are rules.

Hey.

No one in my family works for KAWT.

So, you want these tickets?

Sure.

I thought you said you hated Rihanna.

But I love free tickets.

I've got Fergie, too, if you want those as well.

And I love Fergie.

So, that's it, just like that, you're just gonna give him the tickets?

Uh, it's easier than going back on the radio to try to get rid of them.

People haven't listened to the radio since boom boxes.