Original subtitles

Suzanne! Hey, baby!

Happy Father's Day!

Oh, this is good.

Happy Father's Day.

Oh, you got me. Look at this. Hey, Dad.

Thank you, baby. LINDSEY: Happy Father's Day.

Thank you. Oh, this is great.

I got you a Father's Day card.

Thank you, Kevin. Look at this.

"Happy Birthday."

No, Dad. Look, I crossed out "birthday"

and put "Father's Day."

Okay, you're not supposed to read stuff that's crossed out.

Standard gift card rule. Come on.

Kevin, if they didn't have any more Fathers Day cards

at the store, you should have just got me a blank card.

They did have Father's Day cards at the store, Dad.

Joke. Hello. I mean, really.

Here's my present, Dad.

Oh. Oh.

It's a link to a digital download of a Bruno Mars album.

I don't know who that is, baby.

Then you probably don't want it.

That's okay. I mean, I'm a little hurt,

but how about I take it and force myself to listen to it?

All right.

Don't you have a Father's Day gift for me, baby?

Of course, I do. Bam!

Oh. I like the "bam."

Hey, a shirt that I already own.

That's right.

Which means you better go upstairs and put it on,

because your real Father's Day present

is that we're taking you to brunch at the top of the Seattle City Center.

Really? Yes.

Oh, thank you. You're welcome.

Man, I haven't been there in ages.

I almost forgot that place even existed.

Oh, this is great, guys. Thank you.

There's one more surprise we have for you, Dad.

What's that?

I'll get it. Okay

So what's this other surprise you guys have?

Happy Father's Day.

Or should I say, Happy Stepfather's Day?

Or should I say happy "You're no longer my wife

"but these are still my kids" day?

In the words of the great Maury Povich,

"Frank, you are the baby daddy."

♪ Are we there yet?

♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me

♪ Tell me, are we there yet?

♪ Are we there yet?

I don't see why he had to be here.

The kids invited him.

Because he's their father.

That's right, and it's going to be a great Father's Day.

We got the kids with us. We're going to brunch.

You're picking up the tab.

Man, and I'm hungry, too.

What's the matter? You ain't going to wish me a happy Father's Day?

Are you my father? No.

Then shut up.

Hey, guys. I have an idea.

How about we have an elevator race?

That's so childish.

That's actually a great idea.

An elevator race, see?

Leave it up to my seeds, my seeds

to turn a common lobby

into a place of great fun and entertainment.

Okay, cool. So dads versus moms versus kids.

Dads in there, moms in there, and kids in here.

So when the elevator doors open,

hold them open till I say go.

Okay.Okay. So we're back here.

Okay.

Can I ride with her?

Dad.

- All right. All right. - Okay, go ahead.

Hey, you know, I'm actually kind of nervous.

I mean, this has a weight capacity,

and judging by the size of your head, it might not be able told hold

you and I together, honestly, at the same time.

Yeah, if we get stuck, I can break your teeth off,

stack 'em up, and climb all the way to the top.

Can we, please?

You guys ready? Yeah.

Set. Go!

- Hold the elevator! - Hold the elevat...

Thank you. Suzanne! Marilyn.

Gigi!

Girl. Oh, you...

What are you doing here?

Oh, I love the brunch here.

On the same weekend last year, I was downtown shopping for some shoes

when I broke a heel, so I limped around trying to find a shoe repairman,

but before I could find one, I had to go to the restroom,

so I came in here to see if I could find one,

when I saw a bunch of people get into the elevator,

so I followed them upstairs to brunch where I finally found what I was looking for.

A restroom?

No, men. And lots of 'em. They were everywhere.

Gigi. Yeah?

You realize that today is Father's Day.

So when you were here, this weekend exactly a year ago,

you were attending the Father's Day brunch.

You mean all the men here are going to be married with kids?

So where do the single men go on Father's Day?

Uh, to see their fathers.

Oh, then that should be good.

What are you doing?

Pressing all the buttons for the elevator.

You obviously don't get the concept of the elevator race, do you?

Now we have to get off on the next floor

and take another elevator the rest of the way.

Well, at least we'll be the first ones to the second floor.

Will you stop?

You really need to change your attitude, man.

It's a beautiful day outside, man.

We got the kids with us. Getting ready to have a nice free brunch.

The brunch is not free, Frank.

It's free for me! So therefore it's free, man.

You need to relax, man. Loosen up. I know being brolic got you all rocked up

and tense and everything, but you need to try something different, man.

Try some alternative music. You know, wind chimes or something.

You know, aroma therapy. Yoga.

Hey. Hey. What was that?

I think the elevator stopped.

Man, see I told you your head was too big

for us both to get on here together, man.

See, you always talk about how big my mouth is,

but my mouth said your head was too big

for us both to get on here together,

and look at us now, man.

You should have put your head on a separate elevator, man.

Gotta do something. Will you please stop yelling?

Thank you.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. What's that?

What? That's the best you can do? Push buttons?

Come on, man. With all the muscles you got,

you're going to tell me you can't pull these doors apart,

punch a hole in the wall, jump out there, and push this elevator up?

Muscles for nothing!

What is taking this thing so long?

Maybe you're not pushing the buttons fast enough.

Oh, you know what? You're right.

You kids need help?

No. See, we're having an elevator race,

and somebody was pushing all the buttons to every floor.

Well, now all the elevators are stuck.

Stuck? Mm-hmm.

Our whole family is on those elevators.

Well, we should have them unstuck soon.

You can wait with me back here until we figure it out.

Cool! You know, that is a cool uniform.

Oh, thanks. Do they give you a gun?

No. They gave me a pen.

Security.

Oh, we're stuck in the elevator!

Oh, ma'am, no need to shout.

I can hear you just fine. Use your normal voice.

That is her normal voice.

Mom? Mom, can you hear us?

Lindsey, Kevin.

You're stuck in the elevator.

We know, Kevin. Are you guys all right?

Yeah, we're fine. We got right before they got stuck.

We're at the desk with the security guard.

Hey, guys. We can see you. Wave to the camera in the corner of the ceiling.

Oh, my god.

We should have the elevator moving in no time, ladies.

Just sit tight.

Gigi, are you all right?

My body doesn't react well when it's nervous.

You know, and I'm a little claustrophobic.

Just relax, all right?

No one ever died from claustrophobia.

It's not that, you know. It's just my body... I'm just nervous,

you know, about how it reacts when I'm nervous.

Well, what does it do?

Oh, girl, please tell me you did not just do that.

I did. I'm sorry.

Oh.

I know it's been a while, but we're working on getting you guys going again.

Just hang tight.

How are Kevin and Lindsey?

Yeah, how are Frank's kids? My flesh? Those are my kids, you know.

We're fine, Dad.

We can see you guys. Wave to the camera.

Hey, flesh. Stay warm and dry. And if anything happens to me,

Kevin, you carry on my tradition.

Brain over brawn.

You understand? Francis, watch this.

Ha! See, I dunked on him. If I was buff, I couldn't do that.

Anybody buffed in the NBA?

Anybody there?

Yeah. How's everybody doing?

They're still stuck, but they're doing fine. Gigi's in there with them.

What is Gigi doing with them?

Ask Mom what Gigi's doing in there with them.

Mom, Dad wants to know what Gigi's doing in there.

You don't want to know.

You don't want to know.

You don't want to know.

Well, tell everybody we'll see 'em soon.

Tell them we'll see them soon.

They're right here.

No, they're not. They'll see you soon.

Okay.

Okay.Okay.

Tell your mother I said "Bye."

Tell Mom he said "Bye."

You know what, you tell her.No. No, you do...

Dad says bye.

Bye.

She said "Bye."

Bye, Dad. Bye!

Hey, man, they was talking to me. You stepdad, remember?

I wanna ask you a little question, too.

How do you get muscles in your fingers?

I mean, you got some little miniature baby weights you be curling?

I remember the kids' first Father's Day with Nick.

It was right after we had gotten married.Hm-hmm.

They wrote "Happy Father's Day" on his car in shaving cream.

Oh. That's so sweet.

No, not really. It damaged the paint. It cost $300 to fix it.

Oh.

I remember one Father's Day.

And...

That's it. I remember one. I was usually pretty drunk on Mimosas.

I can't believe I'm stuck in an elevator on Father's Day.

Thirty minutes ago, you didn't even know it was Father's Day.

Well, now I do, and it's very upsetting.

Oh, Gigi, please. Go to your happy place.

I'm sorry!

Hey, I can taste it.

What are you doing?

When you take your clothes off, do you do it like regular folks,

or do you just, like, make a muscle and, then they bust off like the Hulk?

You got jokes, huh?

Boy, you just a regular funnyman.

Well, let me ask you something, funny guy,

was anybody laughing when you walked out on your wife and kids?

Was it funny then?

Oh, we taking the gloves off now, huh?

Ding-ding. Gloves off.

You really want to know what happened? I do.

Okay, well, I'll tell you, then. All right.

Suzanne and I started having a lot of problems.

I lost my job. Money got tight.

We started having a lot of arguments around the house.

Fighting and bickering all the time, you know.

And the kids was watching that, man.

So before the house became toxic, I left.

Look, I don't know if that's the decision I would have made, but, you know,

all men ain't the same.

Yeah, well, I ain't know what else to do, okay?

And push-ups was not going to solve my problem.

My dad left my mom.

His dad left his wife.

And her dad got shot by her mom for trying to leave.

Yeah. Might have seen that. It was on Cold Case.

"Man killed over a pot of burnt rice."

But at least I'm trying to make things right.

I guess I can respect that.

Oh, you guess? Yeah, okay.

Well, well, well. If it ain't my two dummy-in-laws.

Terrence, what's going on, man?

Well, I heard through the pipeline

that you two were stuck in the elevator,

so here I am to help.

Don't worry, I'll have you guys out in a minute.

I'll have this thing fixed in no time.

Hold on. So who are you supposed to be now, superman? Huh?

No. But I will super leave your ass in this elevator if you keep talking smack.

Now hold up.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Look, instead of trying to fix the elevator,

why don't you get us out of here?

Then I'd have to show you how I got in.

And?

And then I'll have to kill you.

Come on, ladies. I know you're stupid, but try to keep up.

Terrence, come on, man. Terrence! I hate him!

Hey! Hey, Terrence! Come back from behind that pork chop, man!

Oh, okay. Everybody, go into your phone

and read the 8th text message, but don't say who it's from.

Why?

It'll be fun.

How?

I don't know, but it's better than standing around here

waiting for her to lob her next bomb.

Hmm.

Oh, girl.

I'm sorry. I got nervous that I was going to do it,

and then I did it 'cause I was nervous.

All right, so I'll go first.Okay.

Okay, um, mine says...

Oh, yeah, I can't read that one.

I'll just read the next one, okay?

Ooh.

I probably shouldn't read that one either. Oh, come on.

Why don't we just play something different?

Oh, my god. What is that?

Oh!

Gigi! Come on! Girl! You got on my dress!

Knock, knock.

Terrence!

How's everybody doing? You all right?

Yes. We're fine now.

Ooh, Lord.

No! No! No! No!

Terrence?

This is worse than I thought. Why's that?

It smell like mustard gas. It's got to be a terrorist attack.

Y'all wait right here. Don't go nowhere.

At least give me a mask, too, Terrence!

Oh!

Girl, you must have lost a pound on that one.

Gigi!

Hey, Dad. NICK: Hey, kids.

Tell your mother Terrence was just here.

Tell Mom, Uncle Terrence was just here.

Uncle Terrence was just there.

Yeah, we know! He was just here too!

They know. He was just there too.

They know. He was just there too.

Good.

Good.

Good.

Hey, if y'all need anything, just let us know, all right?

If they need anything, let 'em know.

If you need anything, let them know.

And why would we do that?

And why would they do that?

And why would they do that?

Hey, look, I was just trying to be nice, a'ight?

Forget it! Hey.

He said he was "Just trying to be nice, a'ight? Forget it."

Bye, Mom.

But... but...

"I was just trying to be nice. A'ight? Forget it."

Bye.

Just get us the hell out of this elevator!

Okay, you kids just sit tight.

Love you, Dad.

I love you, too. Bye.

Hearing my kids call you Dad,

I ain't going to lie, man,

that used to get to me.

But at the same time, I'll be honest to tell you, man, I'm actually happy,

that you're a part or their life, man.

Thanks, Frank.

I know you don't think I spend a lot of time with my kids.

But it wasn't always like that.

I actually spent a lot of good quality time with my kids,

and we used to do some fun things.

We had a lot of real good times, man.

I'm sure you did.

I was there when Lindsey learned how to ride a bike.

I taught her myself.

You know the hardest part about that? NICK: What?

I don't know how to ride a bike.

You didn't learn how to ride a bike?

Didn't have no need to, man.

When I was a kid, I was a hustler.

Needed to get somewhere, I'd just call somebody and pay 'em to take me there.

You got some stories, Frank.

And Kevin, he got all his video game skills from me.

That's right. Bought him his first game cube.

Sega 260,

Donkey Kong. Pac-man.

I was so good at Donkey Kong, I could have went pro.

Yeah, I know you ain't impressed by that.

You know, what I'm trying to say, man,

it's hard for me to say this, but as a man, I got to say that.

You know, actually, I appreciate what you're doing with my kids and Happy Fathers Day, man.

Hey, Happy Father's Day, brother.

Why'd you do that, man? That's my Donkey Kong hand.

Are you serious?

Yay!

Oh, no. Girl, you are just awful.

I fart when I'm excited.

Hey, we're moving. Are we going back down?

That's the wrong direction. Hey, we want to go up!

That's where the free food is at!

And an ice bucket for my hand.

Oh.

Oh.Hey.

Are you okay? Everybody all right?

Yeah, we're okay. We're okay. All right. Oh!

Oh! LINDSEY: Goodness.

Mom! That is not me!

That lobby smells like leftover collard green water.

Now that everybody's okay, who's ready for some brunch?

Oh, no! MARILYN Are you serious?

You know what? I'll just make something at home.

Let's just go back to the house.

That's disgusting!

Can't even breathe. How am I supposed to eat?

Suzanne, baby, that was delicious.

Pretty good, little sis. Pretty good.

Please, after being stuck in that elevator for an hour, anything would taste good.

I will take that as a compliment.

When Frank first showed up, I thought this was going to be the worst Father's Day ever.

Is that right?

You know, it wasn't as bad as I thought.

You know what I've been thinking about lately, Dad?

Yeah, what's that?

That time when you taught me how to ride a bike.

That was pretty cool. Do you remember that?

Do I remember that?

Do you remember that you couldn't use the brakes

and I had to jump in front of the bike

and you ran me over and busted my knee open

and had to get 150 stitches?

Otherwise known as a buck 50?

Every time I take a shower, I remember when I taught you how to ride a bike.

Do you remember when you bought me my first Game Boy?

Oh, yeah, I remember when I bought you your first Game Boy.

I also remember the week prior to that you was begging and begging and begging,

and I finally got you the Game Boy.

Two weeks later, the Game Cube came out.

Then the Game Boy became obsolete.

$99 down the drain.

Yeah, sorry about that, Dad.

No, you're not.

I'm just playing, guys. It's all good. Give me five. All right, Dad.

You give me sugar, baby. Bye, Daddy.

Okay? Y'all all enjoy the rest of the evening.

And to you, my extra large hat-wearing friend,

Happy Father's Day, bro.

Happy Father's Day to you, too, Frank.

Hey, Terrence, you ain't got no kids, right?

Guess nobody want to have your baby.

Bye, Frank.

Everybody want to have my baby. Anyway, I got to go, too.

Oh, okay.

Look, y'all might know what I'm gonna do,

but you never know when I'm going to do it.

So you hold that thought. "Happy brother without no kids" day.

And, how are you feeling?

Oh, I'm much better.

Gigi, how come I didn't know about this problem of yours before?

Are you kidding me? I mean, haven't you noticed every time I get nervous,

I leave the room?

No.

Gigi. Hm-hmm?

This is Reginald.

He is this year's winner of the Eligible Billionaire Award.

Please, just call me Reggie.

Oh!

No, that is foul. My mouth was open.

No! No, no, no!

Keep it covered.