Original subtitles

Wow.Yeah. What's up with that suit?

I have an announcement to make. What is it, sweetheart?

I am going to run for President of my class!

Oh, that's great. Oh, that's fantastic.

You for president? They'd be better off voting for the class hamster.

Lindsey.

Don't think of this as me being anti-Kevin.

Think of it as me being pro-hamster.

Just because you have beady eyes and a hairy little face

doesn't mean the hamsters want you on their team.

All right, stop it.

I mean, plus, if Barack Obama can be President of the United States,

I can be president of my class.

That's right. I bet you don't even know why you're running.

Yes, I do. I want to build a coalition of allies to take down your face.

I don't know who's running against you,

but I know you got the looking-good vote.

Um, sweetheart, don't you think you might be overdoing it just a bit?

Looking good never hurts. You never see Barack Obama walking around in his shorts.

Where are you going? I'm gonna get to school early.

I want to meet people coming in. I have to make a good impression.

Good luck. Try not to bring the whole school down.

Oh, Mom, Dad, are you guys gonna buy one of my coupon books?

Oh, again with those things?

We need to sell them to get money for our trip to Mount Rushmore.

Sweetheart, I bought one last year. I bought one the year before.

Yeah. I'm just sick of those things.

We spend $50 on a stupid coupon book that's supposed to save us

thousands of dollars, and it just sits in a drawer.

But Mom, it's for a good cause.

I'll tell you what, Lindsey. I will buy a new one on one condition.

Okay?

You need to save us $500 from the old coupon book before I'll buy a new one, deal?

Dad? I'll tell you what.

Because her buying one is the same as me buying one,

I'll help you out by seeing if we can put some of these coupons to good use.

Really?

Can you get 10% off teeth whitening when you fill your tank?

Yes.

♪ Are we there yet?

♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me

♪ Tell me, are we there yet?

♪ Are we there yet?

Hey, sweetheart. Hey, Mom.

What's wrong?

I was supposed to pick a campaign staff today,

and everybody was telling me how good I looked and everything,

so I thought I would get a lot of people.

But then, when I checked my sheet,

nobody signed up to help me.

Honey, just because you're popular and people want to hang out with you

doesn't mean that they want you to be their class president.

Well, what am I supposed to do?

Well, if you want to be president,

you can't expect people to believe in you.

You have to believe in yourself first.

That's how Obama did it.

But Obama had all kinds of people behind him. He had Oprah,

will.i.am, Michelle, that crazy preacher dude.

Yes, but when he was making the decision to run,

it's because he thought he could win.

If you want people to support you,

you're gonna have to do more than just wear a nice suit.

Okay. I guess I do have some work to do.

I'll tell you what. How about I help you out?

Really? Yeah.

It's either that, or you need to go get a crazy preacher dude.

Dinner!

What's this? I was just about to cook.

Well, turn off the stove and bring out the plates.

I figure since I have to help Lindsey find $500 in savings,

I have to use the coupons wherever I can, starting with dinner.

We stopped by Filet and got a sushi platter.

We got mac and cheese from Cheesy Mama's.

I love Cheesy Mama's mac and cheese.

And two Burgers from Up & Down Burger.

We have the Fisherman's Catch from Hook & Batter,

and we also got an ice cream cake from Vanilla Village.

And if we would've paid full price for all this, we would've paid $65.43.

But by using coupons, we saved $25.

Bam!

Twenty-five down, only $475 to go.

Hey, do you think they have a coupon in there... Shut up.

Hey, Uncle Terrence. What's happenin', nephew?

Just the man I want to see. Heard you're running for Class President.

Yeah. How's it going?

Okay, I guess. "Okay"?

"You guess"? Boy, you know what that means?

What? That means you're in trouble.

Really? Really.

This is politics, man. Let me tell you something.

You never let the people know your hand, all right?

When things are going good, you act like things are bad, all right?

And when things are going bad, you act like everything is good.

You never want your opponent, the staff, or the general public to know what's really going on.

Keep them totally in the dark.

Even after you win? Especially after you win.

But that sounds crazy.

It's just a seventh grade election.

Boy, it is crazy. This is politics.

March madness times ten.

All right? Now, if you need some help,

don't tell nobody, but your uncle has had his hand in several elections.

Resulting in some pretty powerful people running some third world countries.

Check this out.

Okay.

Now look at these. They'll help you win that election.

Okay, um... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Not that one. You don't want to see that one.

All the President's Men, The Contender, The Manchurian Candidate,

Murder at 1600, and Legally Blonde 2.

Mm-hmm. Start with that one.

Good morning. Good morning.

Where did you get that from?

Lindsey sold it to me last week.

What kind of woman would wear shoes you can buy with a coupon?

Ah, one that has to spend money on something besides herself.

Hmm. Well, I guess somebody has to wear them.

Okay, you mean to tell me that there is not one coupon in there that you can use?

Suzanne.

I don't need a coupon for 10% off.

This is good for 10% off everywhere I go.

And to answer your question, no, they do not make coupons for stuff that I want.

Wait a minute. They have spa coupons in there.

And I know for a fact that you love the spa.

No, you know what? I used a coupon for the spa once.

Turns out it was at some guy's mother's house in the basement.

And for the record, a steamy shower and a boom box blasting waterfalls

does not pass as a spa.

Okay, one, they put that guy in jail.

And, two, if you recall, you did not get that coupon from Lindsey. Um, Gigi?

Yeah. Can you do me a favor?

Can you take this to the printer for me?

Kevin is running for Class President and these are his flyers.

Oh, that's exciting.

You know. I ran for Class President once.

Yes, I know. You've told me this story.

I did? Yes.

Well, did I tell you about the time when I... Yes.

What about when I... Yes.

Oh, okay.

Did I mention... Yes, you lost, you cried, you cut all your hair off.

I know.

Okay. I guess I did tell you.

Just look at the coupon book.

How about this? I pay you 50 bucks, and you keep that paperweight.

I don't know why, but there's no bigger turnoff for a single woman

than a guy trying to save money.

Take a look through these. I'm sure there's something you can use.

Wonderful. I have a coffee table that's a bit wobbly.

So what's with this tote board thing?

I have to help Lindsey find $500 in savings.

It's a long story, but... Okay, yes. I believe you.

Usually when somebody says "Long story," they don't then go into the story.

What's that? Like 48 bucks so far?

Yeah. Look, you think you could help me out with this?

I've tried to use as many as I can, but I don't get out that much.

If you could help me find $500 in savings, let's just say I owe you one.

Oh, reallly? Is there a coupon in there for that?

You're just gonna have to take my word for it.

Well, in lieu of your word,

is there a coupon in here for, I don't know, Korean massage? Huh?

Is that the one with all the stretching and the walking on you and...

No, it's not.

Terrence, what are you doing here?

Oh, Kevin didn't tell you?

I'm helping him with his campaign.

Oh, well, you don't have to do that, 'cause I'm helping him out.

You?

Yeah. Why'd you say it like that?

Girl, I know your history.

Oh, here we go.

You ran for Class President in the seventh grade.

You stayed in the race a week. And then you quit.

That's because I don't like petty people and their petty politics.

You was the only one in the race, Suzanne.

Okay, but if I had stayed in it, then it would have gotten all petty and political,

and I hate that. That"s just crazy talk.

Hey guys.Hey. We were just talking about you.

Oh, look what I brought you.

Your new flyers.

Cool. I can put those up in the hallway.

Yeah. Oh, and I'm gonna bake some cupcakes for you.

Oh, that's boo-boo. Cupcakes? Wack.

You want to win? Look, check this out.

Come on, man.

Robinson Nash is failing math.

Robinson Nash hates peanut butter.

Robinson Nash told Lisa that Max doesn't like her, and Max does like her.

But it's too late now, because now Lisa likes Josh.

Do you want a class president who can't count,

hates peanut butter, and lies?

Vote Kevin Kingston-Persons for seventh grade Class President.

My name is Kevin Kingston-Persons,

and I approve this message.

What?

No, I don't. I didn't say that. How'd you do that with my voice?

Who says it was your voice, man?

Okay, now do want my help or not?

Do you want to win this election, or do you want to hand out flyers and cupcakes?

I want to win.Okay.

Let's get to work.

You know, Barrack Obama would never do this.

That's why he was never seventh grade Class President.

Okay? Now, I got one more thing for you.

Ah, here you go. Extra medium.

Whoa, this is heavy. Is that a bulletproof vest?

It's a Kevlar vest.

and it's one of those, "Better to have it and not need it

"than to need it and not have it."

Suzanne!

Who's gonna have a gun at school?

Everybody.

Hey. What's happening?

So, you remember the one you owe me?

What about it? It is time to pay up.

Oh, really? Let me set the scene for you.

So I'm out last night. Great restaurant, great seafood,

great girl, no cavities, drunk.

I mean, we are talking next stop, club living room.

Club living room?

My place. You didn't get that?

Oh, sorry.

Got to work on my metaphors.

Anyway, so the bill comes, and in the name of helping

your poor child get to Mount Rushmore,

I pull out my coupon.

Wait.

You're not supposed to pull it out like it's a black card.

You cannot let her know you used a coupon to pay for her dinner.

That's like telling her you wear a size medium sweater.

I thought she'd be impressed that I was trying to help a child.

And she wasn't? No.

Threw her Bloody Mary in my face and cursed at me

until she had to be escorted out of the building.

I'm not gonna lie to you. She is a bit of a skank.

Sorry about that, man

But at least it didn't happen at your house,

so technically, I did you a favor.

Eh, hold on, captain save-a-buck.

I'll tell you when you've done me a favor.

Anyway, here's where things get interesting.

Our waitress, Megan, huh.Mm.

She asked me what happened.

And when I told her that I was trying to help a poor, underprivileged child

get to Mount Rushmore, she was moved to tears.

We're going out tonight, so I'm gonna need a few more coupons.

My child is not poor or underprivileged.

To you.

Oh, you're going to hell.

For 50% off.

Ooh, pony rides.

Mom, Uncle Terrence.

I got five people to join my campaign.

Oh, that is great.

That's it?

Boy, you can't get no party started with five people.

You gotta get your heat up.

Don't listen to him. That is wonderful news, sweetheart.

But here's the best part.

I told everybody that the other kid's dad

was on the committee to tear down the playground.

And then, a whole bunch of kids started signing up for me.

That's what I'm talking about.

Hit em where it hurts.Yeah.

Sweetheart, can you please go do your homework?

Sure. Thank you.

Terrence, you've got to stop this.

This is not what I want my son to learn.

Suzanne, you know what your problem is?

You're too nice.

You think the world is supposed to be all fair.

It's not, all right?

Now, you're trying to show him how to run.

I'm trying to teach him how to win.

I don't want him attacking his opponent,

just so he can say he was the first black president.

Well, it's better than cupcakes.

Oh, so you think you know better than me.

I know I do, okay?

If he listens to you, he won't be the first black nothin'.

We'll see about that.

We'll see.

The election is in a few days, and the class is split right down the middle.

Well, that's good, right?

Hell no.

It's okay. All I have to do is do well at the debate

and convince a few more students to vote for me.

Well, don't worry about nothin'. I got my shotgun locked and loaded.

Just let me know how many kids you need to take you over the top.

Yeah, Uncle Terrence.

I know you want me to be aggressive and everything,

but I don't want anybody to get hurt.

What?

So you ready to go the nonviolent Martin Luther King route?

Yeah.

Hmm. Well, you're gonna need somebody to teach you the art of persuasion.

I need to be your debate coach.

You ever see The Great Debaters?

No.Okay.

I got a black bag in my car. Run out there and get it.

Cool.

Uh, Terrence, Hm.

since when are you qualified to be a debate coach?

Since I saw The Great Debaters last night.

It's a good movie.

Okay, listen. We both want what's best for Kevin,

so why don't we work together to help him win?

Okay, long as you listen to what I say.

All right, we'll have a mock debate here at the house to help him get ready.

You prep him. I'll take care of the rest.

You know what? Mm?

Let's just do what you said.

Mm-hmm. This is good.

Brother and sister working together.Mmm-hm.

Pinky and the Brain.

Well, I'd like to thank you ladies and gentlemen

for attending our debate between Kevin Kingston-Persons...

Hey, what? Y'all forgot how to clap?

Clap up!

And Gigi.

Hey! Y'all forgot how to boo?

Hey!

All right, um. I'm gonna turn our session over

to our moderator, Ms. Marilyn Persons.

Thank you, Suzanne.

Now, is there anyone here who has not seen a presidential debate?

Well, don't worry. It's not a prerequisite.

What's "prerequisite" mean?

It means it's not mandatory.

Oh. What's "mandatory" mean?

It means buy a dictionary.

Now, let's get started with our first question.

Uh... yes, Harry Potter.

May I go to the bathroom? Oh, good Lord.

Go on, it's upstairs.

Now, does anyone have a question for our candidates?

Uh, Slumdog Millionaire, go ahead.

What do you think are the three most important qualities

a class president should have?

Ooh. That's a great question, Slumdog.

Now, the three qualities that I think are most important

were those instilled in me by my working class parents.

and they are, honesty, trustworthiness, and hard-working... ness.

Gigi, Gigi, Gigi.

Here you go again.

Do you know how I can tell that my opponent is lying?

It's when her lips are moving.

Excuse me? Hard-working?

I happen to know for a fact, that exactly one week ago

she took an entire day off from work

even though she used all of her personal days

and all of her vacation days.

That was an emergency, people.

Ooh!

How is that an emergency?

Obviously, he didn't see my hair that morning.

My fellow classmates, is this the type of person we want to be representing us?

Someone who is constantly putting her need ahead of ours.

Yeah, well, is this the kind of person we want representing us?

someone who's never been kissed by a girl?

Ooh.

Does it matter that I've never kissed a girl?

Or that you have? That was one time.

Oh!

My fellow classmates, we need someone who is cool under pressure,

someone who is thoughtful and most importantly,

someone who could guarantee pizza, every Friday.

Now, remember, a vote for me is a vote for pizza.

Whoo!

Gigi, Gigi, it's supposed to be a debate.

Did you hear how he said it? He did his tie and everything.

That was swag, come here.

You bad. Boom!

Hey, sweetheart, how'd the debate go?

I was ruthless.

Ha, see? That's what I'm talkin' about.

I used everything you guys showed me.

He was tripping over his words, sweating.

I thought he was gonna start crying.

So what happened in the election?

Yeah, he destroyed me.

What? Yeah.

Everybody said they couldn't believe how mean I was

and that I shouldn't take things so seriously,

'cause it's just a seventh grade election.

Oh, his mom bought cupcakes too.

Yeah, I won't be needing this anymore.

Wow, cupcakes.

And they didn't think that that was "boo-boo?"

No, not at all.

What you got in the box?

My cupcake.

His cupcake.

Hey, Mom. Can you take this back?

Doesn't look like I'm gonna be able to use it.

I have to turn in all my orders tomorrow, and there's no way we're gonna be able

to spend enough to save $500.

Okay. Little sis, come on now.

That's almost child abuse right there. Okay?

Now, you mean to tell me you're gonna make this girl miss her trip

just 'cause she didn't sell that stupid book?

Do you remember when you were selling chocolate bars back in the eighth grade

and you just needed to sell one more box to win that bike?

Well, I remember what Mom said when you asked her to buy the last box.

She said, "If I bail you out now, I will be bailing you out forever."

So what? Daddy bought the box anyway.

He did? Now, look here, niecey niece,

I got to take a little, small trip to North Korea, but when I come back,

me and you gonna hit Mount Rushmore ourselves.

Thanks, Uncle Terrence. And another thing.

What's that?

Why do you need to take a bikini to Mount Rushmore?

We were gonna have a pool party at the hotel.

I'm sorry, baby. I thought Martin would be here by now.

What does Martin have to do with this?

Hey, Martin. Hey, everybody. Sorry to barge in.

Where have you been? I've been trying to reach you.

I have spent the last 36 hours in Las Vegas

wining and dining Megan all with those coupons.

All right, well, I would love to hear your story,

but right now, we need to see receipts.

Yeah. You want receipts.

Yes.

I got your receipts.

Oh!

Wow!

There must be over $1,000 worth of savings in here.

Mom, you have to buy the book.

Okay, Lindsey, you win.

Have you got any more of those? Yeah, yeah. Excuse me.

Oh, okay.

And here you go. I love you.

Where are you going next?

Looks like Megan and I are headed to see,

The Wiggles live at the Boise amphitheater.

For 25% off.

Okay now, why in the world would you do that?

Two reasons. One, um,

this is Megan.

Ah.And two,

there's nothing that Megan loves more

than helping out poor, underprivileged black children.

What?

You two have a lot to talk about. Have a nice day.

All right, let's count these up.

Nick. Let's count these up.

What is he talking about? Underprivileged?

Let's count these up.

Honey. Let's count these up.