Original subtitles

Man, I am telling you,

The Sixth Sense is one of the coolest movies ever made.

Well, if it was that good, why didn't they do another one?

I mean, you could have done The Seventh Sense, The Eighth Sense...

You can't make a sequel about everything, Kev.

You should have told that to the Pokemon people 13 movies ago.

I mean, you got Pokemon The First Movie, Pokemon The Movie 2000,

Pokemon The Movie Three, Pokemon Mewtwo Returns,

Pokemon 4Ever, Pokemon Heroes,

Pokemon Jirachi Wish Maker, Pokemon Destiny Deoxys,

Pokemon Lucario and the Mystery of Mew--

which was actually a really good one.

Uh, Pokemon Ranger and the Temple of the Sea,

Pokemon Giratina and the Sky Warrior,

Pokemon and The Rise of Darkrai,

and you cannot forget about Pokemon The Zoroark and The Master of Illusions.

How did you get all of that into your little head

and you can't remember to take out the trash?

Hey, guys. Hey, babe.

Uh, Nick, what's this?

Me and Kevin are about to watch The Sixth Sense.

Uh, can I talk to you for a minute, please?

Mmm-hmm.

Hey, don't start it yet.

I ain't playing.Okay.

Yeah?

Nick, Kevin is scared of stuff like this.

No, mom, it's okay. Dad said it was cool.

Nobody's talking to you.

And how would you know? You haven't even seen it yet.

Baby, the movie is PG-13.

He'll be 13 soon.

He knows it's just a movie. He can handle it.

Mmm-hmm. What are you gonna do next? Give him a drink and take him to a strip club?

Come on, Suzanne.

He know he has to be 18 before he can get into strip clubs.

Come on. Nick, he's 12,

and his imagination can easily run away with him.

Baby, we got this.

Now, can we watch our movie, please?

Okay.

But when you're scared, don't come running to me.

I'm not gonna get scared.

That's right. 'Cause it's man time.

What?

Kevin, are you all right?

I had a bad dream.

He didn't come running to you. You came running to him.

♪ Are we there yet?

♪ Tell me, tell me, tell me

♪ Tell me, are we there yet?

♪ Are we there yet?

Good morning, baby.Mmm-mmm.

Kevin woke up screaming five times last night.

This is not a good morning.

Mom, Dad, do you believe in ghosts?

Um...

I don't know, sweetheart.

Is that what your dream was about?

I don't know.

I almost can't even remember what it was about.

It was me and that little boy from the movie,

and he kept telling me he saw ghosts,

and I kept asking him to show me one,

and he said he couldn't, because if he did then I would turn into a ghost.

Then I said I wouldn't, and he said I would.

And we started arguing for a whole day.

Wouldn't, would, wouldn't, would, wouldn't, would, wouldn't, would.

So, finally, I said, "Well, if I would,

that's good, because you wish you could,"

and then he said, "Okay," and turned me into a ghost.

And I started screaming like a baby.

And he was like-- I was like--

I was like-- It was crazy.

Kevin, everybody has bad dreams sometimes. All right?

Besides, we talked about this.

It's just a movie.

All right?

Good morning, Lindsey.

Okay, so you just gonna sit there and huff and puff,

or are you gonna tell us what's wrong?

I got, like, crazy answers wrong on this stupid Driver's Ed test.

If I can remember how tests work,

you have to take the test. The test doesn't have to take you,

which makes you the stupider one.

You know what, Kevin? I have finally come up

with a Native American nickname for you.

Screams Like a Big... Hey!

Baby, that's why they give you a few chances to pass.

Not everybody gets it right on the first try.

Keep working on it, baby, you'll get it.

Oh, what? So now you have some kind of sixth sense?

You can see into the future?

Baby. Why didn't you use it last night

before you showed the boy the movie?

I see dumb people.

Oh, you ain't talking to me.

Yes, I am. No, you ain't.

Yes, I am. No, you ain't.

Yes, I am. Not me.

Yes, I am.Mmm-mmm.

Mmm-hmm.

How was court?

Did you know if you get four speeding tickets

they can suspend your license?

Yes.

Yeah, well, you know what? They need to remind people or something.

I mean, come on. It's not like you're only gonna

need to speed four times in your life. That's crazy.

Did they suspend your license?

No, they gave me traffic school.

Can you believe that, Suzanne?

When am I gonna have time for traffic school?

I mean, I'm in a hurry to get every place.

Now they want to give me some place else to go?

Gigi. What?

You can take this course online.

Online where, Suzanne, huh?

I still got to be somewhere.

Take it here.

Right, so now I got to speed here in the morning

so I can work before I work.

Then take it at home.

Right, so now I got to speed home, so I can take traffic school before I go out.

Okay, well, I don't know what to tell you, okay?

With all this speeding that you're doing, you would think that you would be saving time.

I would if they'd stop giving me tickets.

Well, you have to do this. It's not like you have a choice.

Oh, God. Six hours.

Where am I gonna find six hours for traffic school?

If you want me to sit some place for six hours,

why don't you just throw me in jail and get it over with?

They do it to Lindsay Lohan.

You know what? I wish that somebody would make my Lindsey

sit down and study for six hours for her driver's test.

Because she's the one who really needs it.

I mean, I don't know how she thinks she's gonna pass her driver's exam

when all she does is sit down and study for ten minutes at a time.

Suzanne, guess what I have.

What? An idea.

And it's a good one. Okay, let's just listen, okay?

Okay.

Why don't you let Lindsey

take my traffic school for me?

Gigi. Wait! Wait! I know what you're thinking,

that it's illegal and it's wrong. And that's true.

But you, me, and Lindsey. It's perfect. It's a win-win.

And how is that?

One, I win by having someone take the test for me.

Two, she wins

by having to go over the stuff she needs to go over in order to pass.

Three, you win because it has to be done in a week,

and you know she'll get it done.

As a matter of fact, it's not a win-win.

It's a win-win-win.

Did you check on Kevin?

Kevin is fine.

I mean, okay,

I didn't think the movie would get to him like that.

But last night in kid time is like weeks ago.

What are you doing?

I'm just putting on a little...

Mood music.

That's not my mood.

My mood is angry.

Do you have any angry music?

Rage Against the Machine,

Anthrax, Slayer?

Well, are your feet mad at me, baby?

Because if I can get your toes on my side,

maybe the rest of you will start to like me too.

Nick, what's that?

Oh, that? That is my magic touch.

Mom? Boy?

Don't you knock?

I knocked. No, no, that wasn't a knock. That was a tap, all right?

What are you, a tap dance kid?

What's wrong, sweetheart?

Can I sleep in here tonight? I'm scared. I had another bad dream.

Well, obviously, it's over. So you can go back to bed.

Come on, sweetheart. Come on.

Excuse me, Dad.

If he's sleeping in here, where am I supposed to sleep?

Ow.

Ow! Kevin!

Ouch! Kevin!

Wake up. Kevin. Ow!

Goodness gracious!

Ow!

Hey. Nick!

Ow! Hey, what's wrong? What?

Your son is in there having some kind of crazy dream,

and he's beating the crap out of me, that's what.

I'm sorry. What do you want me to do?

Nothing. I just want you to know that I'm awake

because you let him watch that movie which I told you not to do.

Now, I'm gonna go back in there and try and get some sleep,

but if he punches me again,

I'm coming back in here, and I'm punching you, you got that?

Oh! Ow! What was that for?

In case I don't wake up.

Hey, how are you guys?

She's a little annoyed. She only got four hours of sleep.

Are these flowers for me?

Yes, they're from Nick.

Oh, I wonder why he sent me flowers.

Well, the card says he sent them because he's really sorry about last night.

And then he explains

how he can't wait to make it up to you tonight,

and then I wish I had not accidentally opened the card...

Or knew how to read.

Lindsey, can you go to the break room and get me a bottle of water?

Oh, sure. Thank you.

Are those bruises on your arms?

Did you and Nick have a fight?

Did he lay a hand on you?

No, of course not. Oh, Suzanne, oh,

if he laid a finger on you, I will lay him out.

I will punch-- what? What? Come here. Come on.

Come on, man! Gigi, what are you doing?

I float like a butterfly.

Okay.

My husband is not beating me.

I'm going to the restroom.

Uh-uh. Uh-uh. You are not gonna cover those bruises with makeup, Suzanne.

People need to know who Nick really is.

Nick is not beating me. I'm going to pee.

No, you are in denial.

Suzanne. Hey.

Hey. Just um...

Here's your water. Thank you.

So, are you ready to attend online traffic school?

I guess.

Okay, um...

So the first thing you need to do is log in with my personal info.

FYI, if any of this gets out

via I.M., Twitter, Facebook, B.B.M., text,

or random chatter,

I will kill you.

Hey, baby.

Hi.Did you get my flowers?

Yeah, um...

Nick, you sent flowers to me at work on a day

when my arm is covered in bruises.

Now everybody at work thinks that you're beating me.

What? That's crazy.

I know.

You want to know what else is crazy?

What?

What I'm gonna do to you.

Did you read the card? I did.

Wait a minute. Hold on. Where's Kevin?

He's downstairs watching a movie.

Which one, Texas Chainsaw Massacre?

No. Marley and Me.

Marley and Me? Mmm-hmm.

Oh, Nick, for goodness sake.

What? It's just a cute movie about a dog.

Nick, the dog dies.

Really? Yeah.

It's like Benjamin Button, but with a dog.

Wait. So the dog starts out old?

No, the dog starts out young.

But you remember how, at the end of Benjamin Button, Kevin cried?

Yeah, but I am not seeing the comparison.

It doesn't matter. It's a sad movie.

Okay, wait. So... All right.

The dog in Marley and Me is played by Owen Wilson.

No, a dog plays the dog.

So, who does Owen Wilson play?

He's like, Cate Blanchett.

He plays a woman?

No, he's the person in love with the dog.

All right, this doesn't sound like Marley and Me,

at least not from what I read on the cover.

My point is, you wanted Kevin to feel good,

and when this dog dies, I guarantee you, this is not gonna go well.

Suzanne, you are overreacting.

Now, come on, baby. Oh, you better close the door.

Ooh. That's what I'm gonna do.

Mom! Marley died.

It's okay, sweetheart, it's just a movie.

No, I researched it. It's a real dog that really died.

I know. I know.

I'm going to sleep in Kevin's room.

Oh, no, no, no. You hold it right there.

You stay here and sleep with mini Pacquiao.

I'm gonna go sleep in Kevin's room.

How could you let me watch that?

I may not believe in ghosts, but I believe in dogs.

You punch me, we gonna have a problem.

White Bird to Black Bird. You up?

Over.

White Bird to Black Bird. I can't sleep. Over.

What the hell?

Troy, is this you?

Uh, no.

This is White Bird.

Troy, this is Black Bird's mama bird.

Black Bird is asleep because it is 2:00 in the morning.

And unless you want me to come over there and tell your mama

that you're on the walkie-talkie

waking up the neighborhood, I suggest you go to sleep too.

Copy that?

And get yourself some new nicknames.

Copy that, Mama Bird. White neighbor signing off.

Hey, how's traffic school?

I think I might have made a mistake.

What kind of mistake, Lindsey?

I was taking a break, and the program logged me out

and I tried to log back in,

but I don't know the answer to this security question.

Well, what's the question?

It asked what year were you divorced. But you were never married, right?

Do you remember earlier

when I told you if you let any information out about me, I would kill you?

A little bit.

Well, if this gets out, I'll come after your family.

Do I even want to know this?

You have to finish traffic school, don't you?

I guess. You do.

And yes, I was...

married.

Oh, my god. Gigi, when did you get married?

February 20, 1999.

Well, when did you get divorced?

February 21st 1999.

Does mom know? No.

You have to tell her. What?

I don't have to tell her anything.

Remember what I said, right?

Keep your mouth closed, and do your class.

Hey!

Shh!

You're sleeping in Kevin's room tonight.

Wait, I thought we was supposed to be sleeping in here tonight.

Uh-uh.

See, I'm gonna get at least one decent night's sleep this week.

So tonight, you take your kickboxing-in-his-sleep son

into his room with his walkie-talkie

at 2:00 in the morning best friend,

and you see if you can make it through the night.

Baby.

Oh! Ooh! Ooh!

Ooh!

This is all your fault.

I know.

I messed up.

My man brain thought boy brain could handle The Sixth Sense.

I was wrong.

I'm sorry.

Thank you.

Are you still mad?

Part of me is.

Well, why don't you and I

sneak out of here and slip into Kevin's room,

and see if I can make the mad part

feel happy.

You are so bad.

Okay.

Be quiet. I'll go. Me first.

Okay.

No! Ow!

No! No! Shh.

You okay?

You want me to get some ice?

Shh!

Don't you wake up this boy.

So, are you almost done?

Almost. Just a few more minutes, and you will have completed every section.

Good job.

Gigi? Yeah.

How come you never told anybody you were married?

It was embarrassing, you know?

I believe in love.

And I didn't want people to think I was...

Not perfect? No.

Yes. I don't know. I was young.

I mean, Britney Spears was married longer than I was.

To Kevin Federline? No, to Jason Alexander.

Who's Jason Alexander?

Ha. Exactly.

All done. You are officially through with traffic school.

So, are you gonna tell mom?

Too late! I'm trying to sleep.

Ee! I'm done with traffic school.

So, as you can see,

most of the scary stuff in movies are done with special effects.

Yeah, and the effect is that it scares the crap out of me.

Hey, Mr. Kingston-Persons.

What's up, Troy?

I just wanted to see if black neighbor wants to hang out.

Excuse me?

What's up with all this black neighbor stuff?

It was your wife's idea.

I had some nicknames that I liked.

What are you guys doing?

We were just talking.

I saw The Sixth Sense the other day,

and it scared the crap out of me. I had bad dreams.

You're scared of M. Night Shyamalan?

I don't know why people think his movies are scary.

'Cause they are. No, they're not.

Scary movies function on the premise of suspension of disbelief.

The problem with M. Night Shyamalan movies

are that they're so stupid, that I'm more focused on that

than how scared I'm supposed to be.

What are you talking about?

Like in The Sixth Sense,

Bruce Willis is supposed to be a ghost.

But he doesn't know it.

All right.

So, you're telling me

he doesn't figure that out until he takes off his own coat,

and sees the bloodstain on the shirt that he's been wearing

for the whole movie?

You know what?

You're right.

I never thought about that before. That's so stupid.

Have you seen The Village? I like The Village?

Really? Yes, really.

The Village?

Yes. You're kidding.

No.

What is wrong with The Village?

Nothing, if you like comedy.

Oh, come on.

Gigi, what do you want me to do?

She failed my traffic school exam.

I want you to make her take it again.

What do you expect from somebody who's failing Driver's Ed?

You didn't tell me she was failing.

Yeah, big time.

Why would you let her take the test for me, Suzanne?

That's like letting Chris Brown lead an anger management class. Move!

Where are you going?

Where do you think I'm going?

I am going to find a kid to take that test for me.

What y'all looking at?

So, how's it going in here?

So far, so good.

Yeah, only thing I'm scared of now is this dude making another movie.

Okay, so we just saw The Village, and it's supposed to be about these

mysterious goings-on in this spooky, out-of-the-way town.

Turns out, it's just some dudes living by the freeway

running around in the woods with a cape on a stick.

No, it's more than that. Look, it's...

Then there was Unbreakable.

The main character's supposed to be a super hero, and he can't swim.

That's Sam Jackson. Now, that's believable.

A lot of black people can't swim.

And what's up with Signs?

Aliens attack the earth, yet their main weakness is water,

and you can kill them with a baseball bat?

You ever been hit with a baseball bat? Hey.