Original subtitles

I'm sorry, what are we... Shh.

Don't talk while we're waiting for the gurgle. It's very rude.

Sorry.

Will it definitely...

What does she mean she doesn't want it?

Are you sure you don't want to keep the car, Abby?

Trevor's just having a little trouble wrapping his head around anyone turning

down a free Porsche.

It's a very kind gesture. I just, um, the car is a little bit, uh... Douchey?

Exactly. Douchey? The founder of Hooters drove one of these. It is pure class.

I can't get over the fact that a goat has Porsche money. We're barely scraping

by. I didn't add guac to my Chipotle order last night. Also, honestly, it's

way too expensive, GD.

GD's short for ghost dad. I suppose it's better than fished out of a lake dad.

Okay, so I swung big.

So I missed out on the first 25 years of her life.

I mean, amortized over 200 nights of Hanukkah? This is barely anything.

Anyway, I should get to work, because I don't like being more than one hour late

for my shift.

You know I'm your boss, right?

Yeah, but GD pays my salary.

Ooh, she's selectively entitled.

I like it.

So you need help returning the car now, Trevor?

I'm not returning this car, Sam.

Have you heard of depreciation? I sell this, I'm going to take a bath.

No, no. I'll keep it. You can't drive.

Whatever. It'll be my sitting Porsche.

Feel that supple leather on my bare tusses.

What do you think?

He's going to keep it as his sitting Porsche.

Again, no guac.

None.

Guacless.

Chef. I hate to do this, but I got to talk to you about that race again.

Oh, sorry, Cobra. It's not really a good time.

I'm going to pinch.

Dolphins blew my parlay, and I need some scratch.

He's going to Turkey to get a hair transplant.

I hate when gambling is your cover story.

You did say after three months you would evaluate our salaries.

I'm with Amanda.

You need to pay these people a living wage, Jeremiah.

I thought we'd be in a better position than we are today, but unfortunately...

We're not. Look, we're all hurting.

I ate a very dry burrito last night.

Ooh, a dry burrito?

That's harsh.

I'm back on Jeremiah's side. We had so many unexpected expenses.

I had to fix the roof because the stripper crashed through it. That's an

I'll never get out of my head. The blood, the glitter, the penis straws

about. We don't talk about it in front of you guys, but Sam and I are barely

keeping our heads above water.

I'm sorry, boss. I didn't know.

If you sign up for the rewards program, Burrito Barn gives you free guac on

National Avocado Day.

Well, thank you, Gabe. That doesn't solve the bigger problem, but I will be

doing that.

Look at this thing. So ostentatious.

I'm going to move it around back.

Trevor says it has over 500 horses in it.

My only question is, how do they crush the bones into such perfectly rounded

curves? I don't get fancy cars.

I just want something that gets me from point A to point B.

Wow. The seat really hugs you.

Yes. Embrace the opulence.

Oh, my.

The leather is so supple.

That's it. Feel the woodstone coursing through your veins.

Wait. Do these seats have a massage function?

Coming.

Is it unusually bright in here?

No? Well, my eyes must still be adjusting.

As you know, I'm a denizen of the basement now.

I must have grown accustomed to the dark, though, these many weeks.

It's been two days.

What? But it has been eventful. Abby now knows Trevor's a ghost. Oh, how are you

enjoying that, Trevor? Are you loving getting to know your daughter?

Yeah. I mean, yeah.

I believe those are my exact words when the minister asked me if I'd take this

woman to be my lawfully wedded wife.

Yeah, Trev, that didn't sound very enthusiastic.

I'm thrilled Abby's in my life. I love that we're getting to know each other.

But is it me, or does she just seem sort of aimless?

What do you mean?

What are her goals?

She majored in French poetry, she's working this dead -end job, and she's

turning down free cars.

Well, speaking as a guy who knows a thing or two about aimless girls.

Because that little girl shot you.

Right. How long have you been waiting to use that quip? It'll be 16 years in

February. It has proven very hard to work into conversation.

But the point, Trevor, is Abby's young. She'll figure things out. I just hate to

see her waste her life.

Oh, Papa Trev, just talk to her.

Tell her about your concerns.

No, I don't want to be the annoying, nudgy dad. I want to be the cool ghost

By the way, ghost dad, underrated Bill Cosby movie.

If only he were here to help guide me.

America's dad.

Am I right?

Great actor, better man.

Hey, guys.

Oh, why don't you have Samantha talk to us?

Trevor's worried about Abby's lack of direction, but he doesn't want to seem

like a nag.

That's where you come in.

Yes, you can find out what her goals are.

See if she has any dreams. Point her in the right direction. You know, give her

the full Cosby.

Okay. I feel like some information didn't filter down to the ghost

but I hear you regarding Abby, and I'm happy to talk to her.

Maybe I could take her for a spin in the convertible.

Yeah, whatever.

Or lunch or a walk.

Cool. Spin in the convertible it is.

So you went there on a teen tour.

Right. How was it?

Istanbul?

It was cool.

I don't know. It was a long time ago.

Yeah. I might go.

Just to check it out.

Not for any kind of medical procedure.

Hop in, kid.

Let's ride.

Do so at your own risk, Abby. This lady's a terror behind the wheel.

What up, Cobra?

Broke my ass.

Slow down, Sam. Some of us can't buckle in.

Well, the talk with Abby went great. You don't have to worry. She's got goals.

In fact, I think you're going to really love what she wants to do with her life.

She wants to get a degree in finance.

What? Oh, Trevor must be loving this.

Oh, Trevor, this is great.

She's following in your capitalist pig footsteps.

I can't believe this. I know. It seems a little out of character, but she's

really into it. She says it's always been a dream of hers.

Oh.

Oh, Abby, I just told Trevor about your plans to go to grad school, and he's

very excited.

Really? I wish my living dad felt the same. He doesn't want to pay for it.

That's ridiculous.

Why wouldn't Pinkett's want her following in his footsteps?

Trevor's very supportive.

In fact, you tell her I'm going to pay for it. Really?

He says he's going to pay for your tuition.

Seriously? How does a ghost have so much money? Meanwhile, I'm wearing pants

that a guest left behind.

I got to say, they look better on you than they did on Linda. I can't accept

that.

Too big a gesture.

Sam, please, tell her I want to do this for her. If she can't accept the car, at

least take this.

He won't take no for an answer.

All right.

Thank you, Ghost Dad.

Wow.

You know, when I tell most people that I want to go to Paris to study French

poetry, they think I'm crazy, but not you.

You get it.

What did she say?

Oh, my God. I'm going to go look for Brace. Thank you, Ghost Dad.

Sam, what the hell's going on?

Explain. I have no idea. In the car, she said I want to get a degree in finance.

Oh, I think I see what happened.

Sort of a hilarious misunderstanding.

What I really want to do is get a degree in France.

Right on.

Aren't you going a little fast?

You want me to give it some gas?

Okay.

Unbuckle gas back here.

She said she wanted to get a degree in France.

But what I'm realizing now is you thought she said a degree in finance.

Sam, what did you do?

I'm sorry. It was the wind and the roar of the engine. It was all so loud.

Why were you revving it so much?

Because the big dog's got to eat.

This is a nightmare, Sam.

My daughter is going to throw away her life with a focaccia degree in French

poetry, and I'm paying for it. Trevor, don't worry.

Your daughter's going to have some of the best sex of her life in France.

I don't think that's helpful here, Flower.

You know, the French invented the menage a trois.

Fun fact, it's only a menage a trois in the menage region of France. Otherwise,

it's just a threesome. Sam, you have to fix this.

Oh, I don't think I should get any more involved.

Take that, put it on a post -it, jam it on your mirror. That's the new house

motto. In Germany, they call threesomes uber -bangs. Sam, you are involved.

This whole thing is your fault.

It's those engineers in Stuttgart. Why do they have to tune the darn engine to

purr so loud?

Wait, you're driving the Porsche?

Why is everyone else living like a king while I'm wearing knockoff juicy?

Hey, Sam, you tell him they're hugging his curves just like the real thing.

Look, I personally think it's fine for Abby to pursue her passion, but I'm not

the one paying for it. If you disagree, then you need to be honest with her.

This is tough.

I really think that she is throwing away her life. But if I'm honest with her...

I'm no longer the cool dad.

Look, take it from another cool dad. Stop right there, Pete. Cheerfully

withdrawn. Either be okay with her following her passion or tell her how

really feel. You don't have any other choice.

For what it's worth, Bela has a ton of stupid degrees and she turned out okay.

mean, she did get fired from a cat cafe and tried to sleep with several ghosts.

You know what? I don't know what point I'm trying to make. I should get back to

Mahesh. Okay, well, I'll drive you. It's like a hundred yards. Yeah, but you

know, it's like hot or cold out.

Whatever. Just shut up. I'm driving.

Man, I sure hope Jay's butt rhinestones don't scratch the leather seat.

Wait a second.

Bela.

That's how I fix this.

What do you mean? We got a walking, talking, cautionary tale right under

roof.

Let's scare the French poetry right out of Abby.

No!

They bought a 911?

Yeah, those things are pricey. I once spent 500 bucks just to rent one for a

date. I told this chick I was the heir to the Baskin -Robbins fortune.

Why does ice cream always feature so prominently in neosexual ploys?

This is total bullcrap. Chef told us he has no money and his wife is driving a

$200 ,000 sports car?

Aw, did you see his pants today? I think there were diamonds on them. We don't

have to stand for this.

Oh, dear. We should do something.

Totally.

This is old.

Chillingly familiar.

Please, ma 'am. An extra three pennies a week would really help. Three pennies?

That's outrageous.

Do you think we're made of money?

Well, then what about at least cutting back some of the hours in the factory?

I've heard of a rumor about a new thing called a weekend.

The answer is no. You shall not be getting a raise. Not now and not ever. I

already said that you're welcome to eat any rats that you find. You people are

relentless.

Maybe we'll have to do something about it.

Like what?

Like maybe we'll form a union.

Union. Union.

Union. We should form a union.

No!

And we should get medical.

And certain elective procedures should be covered.

So I heard you're studying in Europe. That's so exciting. What's going on?

Trevor texted Bela to tell Abby about the time when she studied abroad.

Oh, that's nice. To get her all excited about the experience?

No, to scare the crap out of her.

Baylor doesn't know that's my intent, but hopefully her hot mess misadventures

will speak for themselves.

I am really excited. So you also went to school in Europe?

Mm -hmm. I studied pottery in Greece. That is incredible. So did your pottery

degree lead to anything? Did you get a job in your field?

Well, not in my field per se, but I did get a job in a field picking olives.

See, I was dating this Greek guy from the moped rental place.

Anyways, we went to Delphi and then Stavros stole all my money and my

So I had to work for two weeks to pay for my train ticket.

And that, my friends, is why you always carry traveler's checks.

Pete, I'm really enjoying this new relationship, but too many of our

conversations involve traveler's checks. Not possible.

That's a little intense, but overall you're really happy you went, right?

Financially, no.

Professionally? Of course not. But the good news is you can't get hepatitis A

twice. Hey, guys.

Trevor's trying to get Baylor to scare Abby out of going to Europe. Why would

you tell her that? Remember in 2006 when you noticed that stain on my dress and

you called me Alderta?

Oh, come on. That was one burn 20 years ago. We're here for eternity.

All I have are my grudges. Oh, my God. Trevor.

What's going on? Abby, I'm just going to come clean with you because obviously

your father is too scared to do it himself.

In the car, because of the turbocharged roar of the engine, I thought you told

me you wanted to get a degree in finance, not in France.

Sam, stop this right now.

Wait, so that's why Trevor offered to pay for my tuition.

Yeah, and now he's trying to get Bela to scare you off. What? I thought I was

pumping her up. No, you're a cautionary tale. Sorry.

Oh, no. A cautionary tale would have been what happened to me in Ibiza.

I boarded a literal pirate ship.

So you don't support me and you're too lame to be honest.

That's great, Trevor.

Abby, wait.

Sam, look what you did.

Damn it.

Ooh, Stavros is on Facebook.

He looks good for 61.

And she just run requested him.

I wonder if he's still married.

Ooh, watch out watching.

Does it have Momoa or no Momoa?

It's Formula One automobile race. Samantha demanded we watch.

Come on.

Accelerate out of the turn, Leclerc. What is this, amateur hour?

This Porsche has become her entire personality.

Okay, that's crazy.

And it's Porsche.

A lot of people don't know that.

Sam, what were you thinking?

She told Abby that I didn't want her studying in France.

But you don't want her studying in France.

Yeah, but I was trying to blow that up without Abby getting upset with me.

Trevor, I'm sorry for calling you out, but you hit a nerve, okay?

What are you talking about?

I was raised by a very controlling mother who was constantly tricking me

doing what she wanted. I was trying to keep her from making a mistake.

But that's not the way to go about it, Trev.

Look, I had the craziest dream of all, to go to New York and to be a star, but

my dad was my biggest supporter.

And that always meant a lot to me. You ended up getting murdered.

Later. It was good for a while.

My father wanted me to marry a woman.

And then I did.

It's not a great story, nor a great marriage. But those are the facts.

His point is a parent pushing someone into doing something they don't want to

will just lead to resentment.

No, I was just talking because I felt left out. But yes, apparently it was

relevant. Look, Trevor, you can try.

to steer Abby in the direction that you think is right, but ultimately it's her

life. She's going to live it.

You make your case, and then she decides.

So you're saying I should just be honest?

Yes. You can't handle her with kid gloves.

Speaking of which, I'm going to go buy some driving gloves.

You have a problem, girl. Oh, I know.

They say you can't outrun your problems.

But I'm going to try.

Why do we want it? Stop!

Oh, man, this is not good.

Why don't they just hire some goons to violently bust the strike?

You can't do that anymore, Hedy. What happened to their country? This is all

because of that stupid car. They think we're loaded.

Why don't you just sell it? I mean, the optics will certainly be better, and

then maybe you can use some of the money to pay the staff more.

including your hardworking manager.

Now you're asking for more? Well played, Bela. Besides, I can't sell the car.

Because his wife loves it more than she loves him? Trevor correctly anticipated

that we might want to sell it, so he registered it under a false name with

offshore LLC.

Aruba. Great beaches, famously permissive financial regulations. Only

knows the password, that pantsless bastard. He's like an evil genius.

I know.

So hot.

I mean, bummer.

I mean, how long does it take to complete a wordle? It's build, damn it.

you absolute simpleton.

Oh, it's guild.

My bad.

Abby, I'm with Trevor, and he wants you to know that he's sorry for not being

honest with you.

Thank you, Trevor.

But he still doesn't think you should go to France and study poetry. He thinks

it's a waste of time.

He may be saying that, but in another way, he's telling me to go.

Okay, I'm very confused.

What do you mean?

Trevor died when he was very young. He missed out on so many experiences.

I've seen too many people not live long lives.

Not just Trevor.

My mom died young.

I want to have fun while I still can.

Will going to France advance my career? Probably not.

But it'll be a sick time.

Ben Franklin gave half of Paris gonorrhea.

Talk about a sick time.

Trevor. I'm not going to France to waste my life.

I am going there to live it.

You know what? She's right.

You never know what's coming around the corner. You could get sick or hit by a

bus. Or eat two random pills from your friend's secret drug drawer. Exactly.

You can make all the right decisions. But when it's your time, it's your time.

Sam, tell Abby...

She should study in France, and I will pay for it. Abby, he says you should

study in France, and he will pay for it.

Really?

That's a lot of money.

Oh, I can always sell the Porsche.

Oh, he says you might have to take out some loans.

What? Sam?

Yeah, that's okay. I can do that.

Sam! Okay, fine. He says he'll pay for the whole thing.

And it's Porsche Shaw. Damn it!

Why are they still out there? We sold the Porsche. That's what happens with

these things.

It starts out with them wanting an extra helping of gruel, and then the next

thing you know, they want an 18 -hour workday. Hedy, how did you end the

back in your day?

Well, it felt wrong to bring in the goons against the children.

So we were forced to pursue more creative solutions.

Unfortunately, we cannot increase your wages. The budget simply won't allow it.

But we have something better than money to offer.

Is it food? I'm very hungry.

No, no, it's dignity.

You, young man, shall henceforth be known as the vice president of

Really? Well, then what am I, ma 'am? You are the chief executive

child person.

Wow! Wow, indeed.

Perhaps it's worth a shot.

No, those were kids. The kitchen staff are sophisticated adults, right, Jay?

Well... Wow, president of cuisine.

Thanks, Chef.

And Gabe, you're going to be vice president of... Please say chips, please

chips. Sure, chips.

No way!

Quick, take away their weekends while you have their goodwill.