Original subtitles

Did she really put my mugshot on this flyer?

How about you let me manage your campaign?

Previously on House of Payne...

- Hey. - Hey.

What do you think he wants for his birthday?

He wants a new Z-Phone 27X.

Yeah! It's a new Z-Phone 27X!

No, you cannot keep this gift.

Calvin, are you kidding me right now?

You know, the way you acted today makes me really think

that we gotta do a lot of thinking

before we move forward with this wedding, Laura.

- You ready, sweetheart? - Yes, Daddy.

Are you serious right now?

Calvin, this is not gonna work.

Why can't we ever talk anything through

before you call it quits and walk out the door, Laura?

Calvin, Laura's given this all she has.

I know my daughter.

She has been trying to make this work.

Mr. Frederick, I understand that Laura's your daughter.

- Yes, she is. - Yeah, but she's marrying me.

She's my fiancée.

And right now, this is a matter between me and her.

Look, I don't disagree with you, Calvin.

I would never step in the middle of your relationship.

You've never heard from me

during any of the many issues you guys have had.

Sir, we don't have many issues.

That's not what my daughter has said.

Okay, sir. I'm gonna ask you again.

This is between Laura and I.

Would you give us a moment to hash this out?

- Please, sir. - Uh...

- My daughter called me. - Yeah, Calvin.

I called my father to come and get me.

So my daughter would need to instruct me to leave.

Laura.

I called him to come and pick me up.

Laura. Laura, I get that.

But right now, emotions are running high,

and I don't think you need to make a decision on this.

Calvin, this is not a rash decision.

We have been dealing with so much.

- We have? - Okay.

I have been dealing with so much with your family.

You have?

Calvin, why are you acting so confused right now?

I am confused.

Calvin, we have been going through so much

with your family lately.

Yes, but Laura, you're marrying me.

Yes, and marrying you means I'll be marrying into your family.

Okay, so my family has to learn to love you.

This is a rough patch.

We're going through a rough patch.

Family goes through rough patches.

I agree with you, son.

But respect has to be the foundation

upon which everything is built.

And your family has no respect for my daughter.

That's not true, sir.

I'm sure you feel that way. It's your family.

But they have not been good to Laura.

And Calvin, you have allowed it.

You were supposed to protect her.

That's right, Calvin. And you didn't.

And for me, that's a deal breaker.

Laura, like I said,

if you needed protection, I would protect you.

- What happened? - Excuse me?

You haven't protected her.

A man is supposed to cover his wife.

Look, okay, sir.

I don't need direction about what a man is supposed to do.

Calvin, don't disrespect my father.

Look, I'm not disrespecting your father,

but he needs to respect me, too.

That's funny, because it's the exact same thing

that I said to your mother.

Laura, what do you want to do, sweetheart?

- I'm leaving. - Then come on.

Laura, if you walk out that door,

I hope you know what you're doing.

Bye, Calvin.

Hey, Dad.

Hey, Junior. How did you get here?

Mama Miranda dropped me off.

- Oh, okay. - Are you okay?

Why do you ask that?

- You don't look okay. - I'm fine.

You adults think us kids are stupid.

No, I don't think you're stupid. I know you're smart.

That's why I get so upset with the grades

you've been bringing in here.

Okay, let's not talk about grades.

No, I'm glad you brought it up.

I'm glad that you're admitting that you're smart,

so from now on,

I don't want to see any report cards

with anything less than a B.

Okay, okay. Just forget I ever said that.

No, because what you said is true.

Hey, Christian's party was fire.

Yeah, I'm glad you had fun.

Hey, I want to have a party for my birthday, too.

Junior, I will be happy to throw you a party

as long as I see an improvement in your school behavior.

I'm trying.

Yeah, well, try harder, Junior.

We have you in a really good school.

I know.

Do you know that you're on academic

- and disciplinary probation? - Moms told me.

- You know what that is? - Yeah.

You're not going to be able to go back to that school

unless you improve your behavior, Son.

Okay, I'll try to do better.

Good, because I know you're capable.

Wait, is Mama Laura leaving?

- You saw her? - Yeah, when I was coming in.

- Well, what did she say? - She said, I love you, Junior.

- She does. - Y'all had a fight?

Not a fight.

Argument? Disagreement?

- It was something like that. - Okay.

Hey, uh, look, Junior, honestly,

I don't know what's going to happen with Laura and I,

but just know you have all the love

- that we both have to give. - I know.

I'm just trying to make sure you was cool, Pops.

I appreciate that, Son.

I got your back.

That's why I love you, buddy.

Ha!

Still working on the contract!

Yeah, baby, we got the notes back

from the attorney.

Do you all want to eat right now?

I always want to eat right now.

What he said.

Okay, well, tomato soup, grilled cheese.

- Hm, thank you, Lord. - Yes, indeed.

Praise him, baby.

He has a heart for all of his creatures.

Thank you, baby... creatures?

No shade.

You know what?

This attorney, I mean, he tore this contract up.

When he said he was giving us a red line copy,

I didn't know the whole thing would be red lines.

It's going to take us forever

to get through all these red lines.

Mm-hmm! I knew that.

How did you know that, Ella?

Curtis, because you got it from that fast talking.

Q-Anthony Fields. That's how.

Just a standard contract, Ella.

Curtis, if it's so standard,

why are there so many red lines, baby?

We got that attorney you was fussing about.

Good.

Hey, Unc, Auntie. How you doing?

- Hey, baby. - What's up, Floyd?

What's up?

I see y'all still working on that red line contract.

Evidently. Look at the red lines.

Yeah, I knew that.

Well, I'm so glad everybody in this family knows so much.

- So, Unc, I'm glad you're here. - Uh-oh.

What's going on, CJ?

Well, I just need to talk to Unc about something.

What now, CJ? I don't have it, okay?

- Have what? - Look, I ain't got no money.

Okay? I'm strapped.

So whoever need money, tell him no.

You know, I ain't got it either.

Because I'm strapped with this whole business thing.

And if it wasn't for Ella making me this grilled cheese,

I'd have to go without. All right?

Help me, Father.

CJ, I got my own bills, okay?

And I'm still trying to build my nest egg for Ella.

Now, damn it, just tell 'em I ain't got it, okay?

I don't have it. I can't. I ain't got no more money.

I ain't got nothing else to give, okay?

The cup is empty. The well is dry.

Are you done? Nobody wants your money.

Who got arrested?

It's nothing bad.

I just need to take you shopping.

CJ, you know I'm allergic to shopping.

And I knew it involved money.

Unc, I need you to go shopping to get a new suit.

- I got suits. - No. No, no.

Not them three suits that you pull out every year

that you got from Harold's Suit Depot.

- Uh, I bought those suits. - Oh.

And it's more than three. I got a suit for every color.

- Right. - Okay? And that's all I need.

Uncle Curtis, we need to go get new suits. You and I.

Okay, CJ, what is going on?

The news station held a contest,

and the people voted for their local heroes.

And the two top people are being honored.

Well, who got chosen?

Funny you say that. They have the same name.

- Oh! - Same name?

- They twins? - No.

They have the same name. Chief C. Payne.

Curtis Payne and CJ Payne.

You, you get out of here. You get out of here.

- We getting honored, CJ? - Yeah, man.

- We gonna be honored. - No, no. No, no.

We gonna be honored.

It's just us.

I know, but the city. The city gonna...

We gonna be honored.

We gonna be honoring the two of them C. Paynes.

C. Paynes!

- You and I go... - Oh, baby.

Yes! We gonna be honored! Yes, honored!

Nice.

- Hey, Dad. - Hey, buddy.

Your mom could have come up.

Oh, let me, let me text her and let her know you made it up.

Okay.

- You enjoy the party? - Yeah, it was fun.

Yeah, you looked like you had a ball.

I did.

Did you enjoy the arcade and the go-karts last night?

Yeah, it was fun.

But Mom just yells too much when I'm on the go-karts.

Yeah, you probably freaked her out.

You drive too fast.

It's no fun if you can't go fast, Dad.

Oh, I know.

Your grandma used to freak out when I used to ride them.

Wait, they had go-karts back then?

Back then?

Look, why do y'all act like your pops is so old?

Well, I know it was different during ancient times.

Not the ancient times, though.

Anyway, are you hungry? Did your Mom get you lunch?

Mom told me to tell you to make me lunch.

- Me? - Don't worry about it, Dad.

Mama Laura will make me lunch.

I like it when she makes me lunch anyways.

Well, you know what?

Today, your dad's gonna make you lunch.

Where you going?

To get Mama Laura.

She said she was gonna take me out for my birthday.

- I can't wait! - Okay, look.

Christian, Laura isn't here, okay?

Well, where's Mama Laura?

Okay, so the first thing that I wanna do

is to get you a winning campaign slogan.

A campaign slogan? Oh, I like that. Okay.

It's very important because it drives everything.

Okay, well, what should it be?

Well, it pretty much should be

something that explains your campaign.

Huh, okay. Uh, ooh.

Elect Gloria Champagne. She's kind and she's tough.

She's smart and she cares about you

and your family and our neighborhood.

- You like that? - For what?

For the slogan.

That's not a slogan. That's a soliloquy.

What's wrong with it?

A slogan is supposed to be short and catchy.

When people hear it, it makes them think of you.

Let's think of some winning campaigns.

Um, like Barack Obama. Simple.

"Yes, we can."

That simple?

That simple. That brilliant.

Oh, man. Okay. Uh... Ch, ch, ch...

Ah! Uh...

Believing for a brighter future.

Ooh. There you go. Now, see, I like that.

The only thing is, I would change one word.

- Which word? - Believing.

That's the most important word.

I know, I know.

And it's a good word, but we could use it some other time.

It's a better word, and I know what it is.

- Well, what's that? - Working.

Working for a brighter future. So you're not just believing it.

You're actually doing something about it.

Wow. You know what? That's good.

I know. I mean, I got all these bright ideas,

and somebody right here just listened to me.

Oh, you know what? Okay, well, thank you, Malik.

I better get downtown. Okay.

Working. Working.

Yeah. All right, well, we can talk about this tomorrow.

- Yep, we sure will. - Cool.

Let me take a few of these. Here you go.

It's Glo. All right.

Working for a brighter future. I'm working. Ha!

There you go.

- Hey, Malik. - Hey.

So, how'd the campaign meeting go?

Oh, it went good.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

- Glo left? - Yeah.

We're gonna meet again tomorrow.

Okay.

Hey, Janine. Hey, Malik.

What's up, Cuz?

So, what do we owe the pleasure of this surprise visit?

- Uh, is CJ here? - Mm-mm.

What's wrong?

Why does something have to be wrong for me to come by?

Because that's the only time you come by.

- Mm-hmm. - That's not true.

So, you just wanted to come by and, uh, visit your family?

That's what you wanted to do?

Oh, Calvin, that's so sweet.

That actually is sweet.

Sit on down so we can hear about your week.

Yeah.

Okay, but first, y'all sure CJ not here?

He is not here.

Yeah, you sure you don't want to tell us

what kind of mess you got yourself in?

I didn't get myself into a mess.

This time, y'all got me into a mess.

- All of us? - Oh, I can't wait to hear this.

Yeah, me either.

I can't wait to hear how we got you into this big mess.

For real.

Well, not necessarily you, Malik.

- Oh. - All of us?

Never mind. I'll talk to y'all later.

Oh, wait, wait, Calvin.

Do not forget, all right, your father and CJ are being

- honored this weekend. - Nobody told me.

Well, check your email, man.

- Oh, okay. - Go buy a suit.

- Mm-hmm. - Wait, it's like that?

It's kind of a big deal.

They're being touted as city heroes.

Okay, I'll be there.

Oh, and, uh, bring Laura.

I'll talk to y'all later.

Man, that dude is weird.

For real.

Baby, I am so proud of you.

Well, I tell you, I'm proud of you and you too, CJ.

Yeah, Pop, I got to say, I was inspired.

Well, yeah, it was the video that took me out.

I mean, where did they find on that old footage?

Old newsreel.

Yeah, I thought I had a blemish on my record that I'd never get

over until I saw those people give me that

long standing ovation.

Yeah, well, the city has moved on.

- Mm-hmm. - And you.

That was never your fault, CJ.

Sometimes it takes the people a minute to realize it.

And the way you handled that mass shooting,

it lets the people know

that we are in good hands with Chief Payne.

That's right.

I see that public opinion pushes everything.

It always has. Just now, in this internet age,

it's a career maker or a breaker.

CJ, listen, cream always rises to the top.

- You always say that. - Because it's true.

It is true.

When you are a good man who works hard and honestly,

it will outlive any one incident.

So, let's see these awards.

Oh, very nice.

- Mm-hmm. - Beautiful!

Chief Payne.

This is nice. It's beautiful.

Curtis, we got to decide where we're going to put this.

- No. - We are.

You know I don't care about that stuff.

Curtis! He is the worst.

All of your awards are back there,

stashed in a drawer somewhere, Curtis.

In a drawer?

Yeah, mine are in the same place.

Oh, well, y'all got to take them out the drawer

and hang them up.

- Yes. - Absolutely.

We need to look around this house and figure out

where we're going to hang your award, Mr. Payne.

And CJ, you need to do the same thing at your house.

Well, Unc and I, we old school, you know?

We don't relive the past.

We're too consumed with what we're about to do next.

You know you're right, CJ.

It's all about the new business for me now.

Okay, that's great, but you also have to look back

and appreciate and acknowledge all that you've accomplished.

Yeah, and y'all have accomplished a lot.

Congratulations to the both of y'all.

Thank you. Thank you, man.

Thank you, Son. I got to tell you,

having the whole family there to celebrate,

even the grandchildren, that was something else.

Yeah, so, um, about that.

I promise you I'm not trying to be messy,

but, Calvin, where was Laura?

Hmmm! I was thinking the same thing.

I just wasn't going to say nothing.

Well...

Okay, Calvin, don't tell me she's still mad with me.

Oh, no, is she still mad at me?

Did she not come because she knew I was going to be there?

Don't tell me Laura's still holding on

to all of that stuff, man. She needs to stop.

Calvin?

She is.

But did you invite her?

Not exactly.

Calvin, what do you mean? You didn't invite her?

Doggone it, Calvin.

She's going to think we did not invite her.

Okay, listen, I have something to tell y'all.

- Okay, what? - What is it, Calvin?

Okay, the whole thing with Christian's party.

Christian's party?

Yes, the little cellphone thing.

Oh, you mean when she purchased a cellphone

for an eight-year-old

without talking to his parents and should have?

- That cellphone? - That cellphone.

Okay, continue.

Well, when we got home, she was furious and...

- And what, Calvin? - She left me.

- She left you? - Yes, she left.

Her dad was there to pick her up and she left.

- Over a kid's birthday gift? - No.

Her issues go deeper than the cellphone.

Yeah, her and her dad,

they don't feel like I was being a man.

Wasn't being a man?

Yes, because a man's job, what she said,

- is to protect his wife. - Well, I agree with that.

And she doesn't think I protected her.

- You didn't protect her? - No.

And for her, that's a deal-breaker,

- so she left. - Ah.

You didn't protect her from what? Us?

Yes, Mom, she feels that I didn't protect her

from you guys.

Okay, Calvin, come on. You gotta be kidding.

I'm not. The engagement is off.

Laura and I are no longer together.

- I'm sorry, Calvin. - I can't believe this.

I'm sorry, Calvin.