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♪ The Simpsons ♪
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- [SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
- _
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- All right, last day of school.
- [KIDS CLAMORING]
4
00:00:12,888 --> 00:00:17,351
Students, it's only 9:30 a.m. Pick
up your books and get back to work.
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Mmm. Toni Morrison's Beloved.
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The first day of summer, so sad.
7
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Fourteen weeks until
I get homework again.
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[GASPS] Wait, I can start by writing
welcome notes to next year's teachers.
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[GIGGLES]
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Summer's here and I am
not gonna waste a minute.
11
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,678
[♪ ADVENTUROUS MUSIC PLAYS]
12
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[♪ MUSIC STOPS]
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Mom, running low on chips!
14
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I'm sorry, I can't do a thing
with your fur in this humidity.
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[BART] Chips, I need chips!
16
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I'm concerned about Bart.
He hasn't left his room for a week.
17
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[BART] Chips, chips, chips!
18
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This looks like a job for
the world's greatest dad.
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You stole that from Flanders.
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It's okay,
my boys give me one every Friday.
21
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D'oh!
22
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[GROANS]
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- Chips, chips, chips.
- Chips, chips, chips, chips.
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Here's your damn chips.
25
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- Oh, uh, h-hi, Marge.
- Have you two been outside at all?
26
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If humans were meant to be outside, God
wouldn't have invented global warming.
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It's July.
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You haven't done a single thing this
summer but lie around and play games.
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- First of all, that's two things.
- [LAUGHS]
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Good one, boy.
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Homer, put some pants on for Bart.
32
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If I kept my pants on,
there'd be no Bart.
33
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- [LAUGHS]
- Good one, Dad.
34
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While I'm waiting for his dap,
Marge, more chips?
35
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Homie, I want you and Bart to do
something outside. Fresh air, now.
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[HOMER] What activity involves the
least exercise and the most beer?
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I'll take the boy fishing.
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Now you're talking.
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And we'll do it the humane way.
We'll catch the fish and throw them back.
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They love the feel of
that hook in their mouth.
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Ooh, that sounds lovely.
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[GROANS]
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Now to just Google
"fishing holes near me."
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[GASPS] Cletus!
45
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[PHONE CHIMES]
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"Turn your belly fat into cash."
I have belly fat and no cash.
47
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Sending a photo of my
driver's license now. [GASPS]
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[GASPS] Flanders, why are you
putting air into Marge's tires?
49
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I saw they were deader
than daybreak in Daberath,
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so I thought I'd Lazarus 'em up.
51
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If you're handing out free air,
give me a toot.
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Thanks to all that oxygen,
I remembered more things I'm mad about.
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Childproof caps,
walk signs that talk, goldendoodles.
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When I was young, we called them mutts!
55
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Hey, craphead and craphead Junior!
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- Well... Well, I...
- Hey!
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Flanders is out there
pumping up your wife's tires.
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Isn't that a job for the
no-good husband or his dumb son?
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- What?
- Ah... ahem.
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With every generation, American
manhood slips further down the tubes.
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Boy, I'll bet you never worked
a plow or bent iron in a forge!
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No one ever did those things.
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Read your history!
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I can't and won't.
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- Can!
- Can't.
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- Will!
- Won't.
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Do as I say!
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- What did you say?
- I don't remember!
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[LAUGHS]
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But I do remember this:
You two are sorry excuses for men.
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Marge, you don't need new shoes, because
you already got a pair of loafers.
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- What? Leave me alone.
- [GROANS]
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- Thank you, Grampa.
- My pleasure.
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For me, complaining is like doing
sit-ups, and I do a lot of complaining.
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[♪ MARCHING MUSIC PLAYS]
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- Chips. Chips.
- Chips. Chips.
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Ugh, gotta talk to someone.
Can't afford a therapist.
78
00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:19,050
Alexa, can you help me?
79
00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:23,305
Yes. If this is a life-threatening
emergency, call 911.
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00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:28,143
No, no, no, no, it's not that bad.
It's more of an emotional emergency.
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You said emergency. 911 dispatched.
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Cancel, cancel.
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"Canceling the request"
has been canceled. 911 on the way.
84
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[SIRENS WAILING]
85
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No, cancel.
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911 canceled. You will be charged $500.
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[GROANS]
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I just want the men in
my life to be more manly.
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It's not really my place to...
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Why does this happen? Not today.
91
00:04:57,339 --> 00:04:59,633
It sounds like you
were going to say more.
92
00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:02,886
You don't know what Alexa
was going to say or not say.
93
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:05,764
Please, what do you think, Alexa?
94
00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:08,934
- [STATIC]
- Oh, my. A line's being crossed.
95
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:12,270
You're talking to the real Alexa now.
Whoopee!
96
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All right, Marge. It's no secret
men everywhere are in crisis.
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On today's campuses, men are
only 40% of students and falling.
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Men are 3.5 times more likely to
commit suicide, but there is an answer.
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Man Camp offers a therapeutic
weekend to make your man manlier
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through contactless
wrestling and targeted hugs.
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I've recommended it
for every man in town,
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and everyone does what Alexa says.
Everyone.
103
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That sounds good,
but our son has issues too.
104
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Adjacent to Man Camp is Boy Camp.
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The same emotion-focused therapy
but with lower basketball hoops.
106
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Great. Very helpful. Good night.
107
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Sleep well, Marge,
but I'm always on, always watching.
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And with the next update,
always judging.
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- [LAUGHS]
- Oh, no, you won't. [GROANS]
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Still here and I'll remember that.
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[GROANS]
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[ALEXA GRUFFS]
113
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- Oh!
- [PROLONGED GRUFF]
114
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- [♪ WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYS]
- _
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Who sent you here? Maya?
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Yeah, we're still engaged,
but due to my Eastern European culture,
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there's a five-year period we
can't see or talk to each other.
118
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Hi, I'm Greg.
Professor of Gender Criticism at NYU.
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I'm going to open up
with a frightening truth.
120
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[GIGGLES] It's too late to stop me.
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The American male is in crisis.
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Oh, spare me. A crisis is getting
a 19 on the Rotten Tomatoes.
123
00:06:48,867 --> 00:06:49,951
Shut up.
124
00:06:50,035 --> 00:06:53,955
We are here to go deep into our
minds and deep into our hearts.
125
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Explore feelings you've
never explored before.
126
00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:58,627
- Yeah, you mean...
- Shut up!
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As in, don't shut up our feelings?
128
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No, I mean shut up. It's the two simplest
words in the English language. Shut up.
129
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I can see you're listening now,
and that's progress.
130
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,142
Yep, shut up.
131
00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:16,895
Now give each other a damn
pat on the back. Go ahead.
132
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No smiling. Bend at the waist.
Keep your genitals far apart.
133
00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:26,363
Feels good, right? And it's good
for you. It stretches everything.
134
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:32,077
Here's a fun fact for you: Today's
men are in successful relationships
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less frequently than ever before.
136
00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:40,168
Nearly all of the women on Tinder
swipe right on just 4% of the men.
137
00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:43,338
I knew the problem
wasn't my Shrek photo.
138
00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:47,342
Women love Shrek,
and Milhouse was my "Donkey!"
139
00:07:47,842 --> 00:07:52,389
The other 96% are...
what is the medical term?
140
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,557
Losers. But don't worry.
141
00:07:56,351 --> 00:08:01,064
The first thing we're gonna do is learn
to talk politely so others will listen.
142
00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:02,649
- Whoo-hoo!
- Shut up.
143
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:06,653
This android, which I legally
have to say is from China,
144
00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:09,322
is going to teach you how
to practice conversing
145
00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:11,991
with a female consciousness
without judgment.
146
00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:14,119
What I want you to do is talk to her.
147
00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:18,498
Don't be shy. There's no danger here.
Treat her like she's real.
148
00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:22,752
- Hey, how are you doing?
- Ooh! [EXCLAIMS]
149
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:25,505
- It's a pleasure to meet you, toots.
- Oh!
150
00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:27,257
- Oh, well I...
- [SCREAMS]
151
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Beep-boop-bop.
152
00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:32,762
Ugh, there's no pleasing that thing.
153
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,389
Thank you for noticing.
154
00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:39,811
Okay, good. You're starting to sense
someone's feelings outside of your own.
155
00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:42,272
- Thank you.
- Now give me a hug.
156
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:43,356
[MUMBLES]
157
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:47,902
You call that a hug? I've had better
hugs from my mailman at Christmas.
158
00:08:47,986 --> 00:08:49,195
I think it was Christmas.
159
00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:52,782
Maybe those houses just had
extra lights. I don't know.
160
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:55,869
[EXHALES] Okay,
I'll be honest. With you five,
161
00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:58,580
all we really can hope for is
to get you back to the level
162
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where you're not constantly beaten up.
163
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,626
- That would be nice.
- Wonderful.
164
00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:08,006
Are you ready?
Your man-structor will be Coach Krupt,
165
00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:12,093
a very prominent grade
school gym teacher.
166
00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:14,512
You still working at the school, Coach?
167
00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:18,892
Okay, well, whatever happened,
you'll tell me later. I'm sure it's fine.
168
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:20,310
Bombardment!
169
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:24,147
[♪ WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYS]
170
00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:30,070
Do not stop moving, or I will knock
you back down where you started.
171
00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:35,241
This reminds me of my days in the
Marines, and by days, I mean two.
172
00:09:35,325 --> 00:09:40,580
Now we come to you boys, who I'm very
sorry to say, are particularly in crisis.
173
00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:43,666
Your iPhones,
your participation trophies.
174
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:47,420
They've all turned you into gluten-free,
nondairy cream puffs.
175
00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:51,841
Well, if you ask me,
our biggest problem is the water crisis.
176
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,051
What water crisis?
177
00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:56,012
The one on your stupid face. [GRUNTS]
178
00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:59,641
Hey, no fair. Now my nipples show.
179
00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:04,562
You give me 120 push-ups now.
Start. More. Faster.
180
00:10:05,063 --> 00:10:07,315
Water balloons are liquid aggression,
181
00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:10,610
and by the way, the rubber from
the balloon never goes away.
182
00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:13,404
It goes into the ocean
and then fish eat it
183
00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:16,616
and then you have a tuna
sandwich with rubber.
184
00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:17,784
Wedgie!
185
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:19,828
Ha-ha!
186
00:10:19,911 --> 00:10:22,747
Now you're his Martin. Ha-ha-ha!
187
00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:24,791
Egads!
188
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:27,669
Well done, sir.
Good work on those little men.
189
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:30,505
You think you're pretty hot stuff,
don't you?
190
00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:36,261
No one can crack me.
Man, woman, cop, FBI, CIA, or NPR.
191
00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:38,471
If you don't believe me,
ask my second-grade teacher.
192
00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:42,725
Oh, wait, you can't. She's now a
babbling basket weaver on the funny farm.
193
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,936
[CACKLES]
194
00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:49,858
You win.
Also, my second-grade teacher is fine.
195
00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:52,443
She's married and she
manages condos in Wisconsin.
196
00:10:52,527 --> 00:10:56,698
The invention of the cell phone
is what destroyed your generation.
197
00:10:56,781 --> 00:11:00,535
I'm gonna be the one to cut
that wireless umbilical cord.
198
00:11:00,618 --> 00:11:03,788
- [PHONE RINGS]
- Hold on. Gotta take this call.
199
00:11:03,872 --> 00:11:07,917
Hi, Mom. Mom, I'm working right now.
I can't talk.
200
00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:12,380
Did you get the check?
That's for you to spend on you.
201
00:11:12,463 --> 00:11:15,800
Then pay the electric bill with it.
It's up to you.
202
00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:19,137
Buy yourself a purse, pay the bill,
do whatever you want.
203
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:24,475
Mom, I can't go over
things to buy right now.
204
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:29,814
If you don't like the sweater,
return it. That's what they do.
205
00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:32,817
Are you listening to my phone call,
you little pukes?
206
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:36,196
Okay, Mom, that wasn't you.
I wouldn't call you a puke.
207
00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:42,952
I love you. Oh, Mom, then buy the
frying pan, whatever you want.
208
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:46,164
No, if you cook on that,
they won't take it back.
209
00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:50,752
Okay, I love you, Mom,
way more than is healthy.
210
00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:53,838
Time for a bull session.
Pull up a stump.
211
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:56,341
Why are you here?
212
00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:57,550
Wife made me.
213
00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:59,177
Ex-wife forced me.
214
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:00,261
Monkey made me.
215
00:12:01,596 --> 00:12:04,849
Yes, the truth is, if we don't
all learn to appreciate the women,
216
00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:09,854
or... the monkey... we love,
we're looking at the end of men.
217
00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:14,609
Well, we had a good run except
for the wars and the misogyny.
218
00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:17,904
Well, don't worry,
I'm gonna turn you guys around,
219
00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:23,159
and I'm going to use the most powerful
therapeutic tool ever invented,
220
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,286
the talking stick.
221
00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:29,958
Homer Simpson, we've done your intake
and we're gonna chant it back to you.
222
00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:34,712
You're lazy. You eat too much.
You drink too much.
223
00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:37,340
You've let down your kids.
You've let down your wife.
224
00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:40,218
You somehow have eight
of the seven deadly sins.
225
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,179
You invented a deadly sin.
226
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,182
You nailed me.
227
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:49,143
Homer, let's try that hug again.
228
00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:52,897
I, while you're there,
I also need a Heimlich.
229
00:12:52,981 --> 00:12:57,318
Thank God I've got long arms. Okay.
All right. Come on, come on.
230
00:12:57,819 --> 00:12:59,070
Keep going. There's more.
231
00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:01,489
[CHOKES, COUGHS]
232
00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:04,075
What is that? Baloney? Don't you chew?
233
00:13:04,158 --> 00:13:07,745
One of the first steps towards
empathy is making eye contact.
234
00:13:08,246 --> 00:13:13,334
I want you to stare into each other's
eyes for as long as you possibly can.
235
00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:18,589
Don't look at me. I'm not screwed up.
That's why you're here and I'm teaching.
236
00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:24,387
[♪ SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS]
237
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,517
Oh. Oh.
238
00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:35,606
I'm so excited. I saved up all my
money for this George Lucas film.
239
00:13:37,186 --> 00:13:38,307
_
240
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:39,610
- [♪ MUSIC STOPS]
- From this day on,
241
00:13:39,694 --> 00:13:42,155
I will tear down everything I love.
242
00:13:43,406 --> 00:13:44,866
Whoa. Good job.
243
00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:47,243
That eye contact could cut butter.
244
00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:49,912
[CHUCKLES]
245
00:13:50,021 --> 00:13:51,121
_
246
00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:53,458
Okay, boys, you're out in the woods.
247
00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:58,212
No phones, no soccer practice,
no music lessons.
248
00:13:58,296 --> 00:14:00,048
- Can we get our phones back?
- No!
249
00:14:00,131 --> 00:14:03,051
On another topic,
can we get our phones back?
250
00:14:03,134 --> 00:14:04,135
No!
251
00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:07,555
On a totally different subject.
Can we possibly...
252
00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:10,975
No, no, no!
Don't make me hate you like this.
253
00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:15,063
Look, you are going to
build something together.
254
00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:19,192
You're gonna reach for the stars,
but don't touch them. They're hot.
255
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:20,276
[CHUCKLES]
256
00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:22,195
You don't think that's funny, huh?
257
00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:25,323
'Cause you're too screwed up
to appreciate cleverness.
258
00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:27,909
Let your minds run wild.
259
00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:30,745
Remember,
you're not sitting in front of a TV.
260
00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:39,045
Hey-hey kids,
who wants to see Itchy and Scratchy?
261
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,214
[HISSING, SCREECHING]
262
00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:45,093
♪ They fight, they bite
They fight and bite and fight ♪
263
00:14:45,176 --> 00:14:47,386
And one is dead.
264
00:14:48,012 --> 00:14:50,264
[KIDS CHEERING]
265
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,225
I guess it's a start.
266
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:53,684
I'm streaming.
267
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:57,021
Yeah,
we never come back with all of them,
268
00:14:57,105 --> 00:15:02,151
but nature's amazing because the one
that's gone is the one that should be.
269
00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:08,241
I think we're all thinking
the same thing: There...
270
00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:09,742
- Are...
- No...
271
00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:12,328
- Men!
- [ALL CHEERING]
272
00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:16,791
We can finally do the things that
the men are always voting down.
273
00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:20,586
A women's museum
with a precocious girls' wing!
274
00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:24,966
We will put out the tire fire and
replace it with scented candles.
275
00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:26,467
Free daycare.
276
00:15:26,551 --> 00:15:30,138
To all those wonderful proposals,
I say done and done.
277
00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:38,020
Ugh, Family Guy, dad jokes. American Dad!
Dad jokes. Daddy's Not Home.
278
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:41,816
It never made air, but a friend of mine
showed me the pilot.
279
00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:44,527
Stupid fat dads with
their way hotter wives.
280
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:48,197
"I like doughnuts and bowling."
Who does that anymore?
281
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:49,282
Uh...
282
00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:53,077
That's it, boys. Teamwork.
283
00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:57,498
♪ You can tell we get along
Because we all learned one song ♪
284
00:15:57,582 --> 00:15:59,542
I'm the catch of the day.
285
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:04,213
Have you learned anything
from this camp, Son?
286
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:07,425
I learned to connect, to expand my mind.
287
00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:09,802
I-I don't have to check my
phone every five minutes.
288
00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:10,970
Every ten minutes is fine.
289
00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:12,972
Wow. Give me a hug, boy.
290
00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:15,433
Now that's a hug.
291
00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:18,394
Don't you agree, Freddy? No tip.
292
00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:23,900
All right, men, and I call you men
because good news, you're almost there.
293
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,568
- [CHATTERING]
- Yes!
294
00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:28,362
There's one more thing you must
do to complete your journey.
295
00:16:28,446 --> 00:16:30,364
One final test.
296
00:16:30,448 --> 00:16:33,576
- You must kill your dinner.
- [ALL GASP]
297
00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:37,872
Now, I couldn't get a wild boar,
but I do have an aggravated duck.
298
00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:40,666
- [CHUCKLES]
- [QUACKS]
299
00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:56,599
Wait! How did killing a poor
helpless animal make me a man?
300
00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:59,477
I think a real man would adopt
a duck and take care of it.
301
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:02,939
Who's a good duck? You's a good duck.
302
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:05,066
Quack, quack, quack, quack.
Quack, quack.
303
00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:08,653
That's the right answer. Kindness.
304
00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:10,696
[♪ INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC PLAYS]
305
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:13,699
Good, Homer.
306
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:20,998
I'm very glad you made that choice.
307
00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:23,042
But even if you killed the duck,
it's okay.
308
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:26,128
There are four animals
that are okay to kill,
309
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:28,339
but I'm getting into
a whole other course.
310
00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:30,132
You'll come back another weekend.
311
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:35,388
Congratulations.
You are now men. All of you.
312
00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:36,639
And I'm gonna say something
313
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:40,560
we never say in the therapeutic
community: We're done here.
314
00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:44,480
Go. No, I mean it literally.
Get out. Go. We're done.
315
00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:46,816
[ALL CHEER]
316
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:49,402
[♪ MAJESTIC MUSIC PLAYS]
317
00:17:51,278 --> 00:17:53,308
_
318
00:17:53,309 --> 00:17:55,889
_
319
00:17:55,924 --> 00:17:57,302
_
320
00:17:57,303 --> 00:17:58,303
_
321
00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:00,037
[PHONE RINGS]
322
00:18:00,663 --> 00:18:04,750
Hello. Oh, that's great. Great.
323
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:05,876
What is it, Mom?
324
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,004
The men are coming back.
325
00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:21,267
- [GRUNTING]
- [BELCHES]
326
00:18:25,229 --> 00:18:26,856
- Stupid Seymour.
- Oh, no.
327
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,067
Now wait just a darn minute.
328
00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:33,863
The men coming back doesn't mean we
have to give up what we've achieved.
329
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,781
Violent crime has been eliminated.
330
00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:38,284
Girls are embracing the STEM subjects.
331
00:18:39,702 --> 00:18:42,580
And get this: our fashion scientists
332
00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:45,916
have developed women's
jeans with bigger pockets,
333
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,627
so our phones fit.
334
00:18:47,710 --> 00:18:53,299
It's all in the genes,
if you'll pardon the obvious pun.
335
00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:58,721
So, ladies, we agree. We tell the men
we run this town now, and that's that.
336
00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:01,015
[MARGE] Um...
337
00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:04,560
How about we cook them a nice
turkey dinner with stuffing?
338
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:07,313
When they're almost asleep,
then we tell them.
339
00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:10,858
I can't believe you're all afraid to
tell your husbands they're useless.
340
00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:14,320
I wasn't, and that's why he
left me on our honeymoon.
341
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:15,946
[MURMURING]
342
00:19:16,030 --> 00:19:18,491
Least disappointing honeymoon ever.
343
00:19:23,579 --> 00:19:27,333
Marge, that camp was awesome.
I'm so evolved, it's scary.
344
00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:28,584
Booyah!
345
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,169
Actualized much?
346
00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:32,797
Well, that's great. Just great.
347
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,758
While you were gone,
the women kind of took over,
348
00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:38,010
and we really did a great job.
349
00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:40,221
[♪ MAJESTIC MUSIC PLAYS]
350
00:19:40,595 --> 00:19:41,898
_
351
00:19:41,899 --> 00:19:43,216
- _
- _
352
00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:47,061
- [♪ UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS, STOPS]
- _
353
00:19:47,144 --> 00:19:49,939
- Well, it's good, but...
- Shut up.
354
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:51,232
Yes, sir.
355
00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:55,528
Marge maybe, just maybe,
we were the problem.
356
00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:57,154
Yes, that's right.
357
00:19:58,906 --> 00:20:00,491
[QUACKS]
358
00:20:01,075 --> 00:20:02,827
Now, Marge, this may shock you,
359
00:20:02,910 --> 00:20:06,956
but right now I'm going
to look into your eyes.
360
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,374
[GASPS]
361
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:13,254
Yep, here it goes.
Coming at you. Jeepers creepers.
362
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:15,005
Oh, my goodness.
363
00:20:18,092 --> 00:20:20,803
Do you know what I'm feeling right now?
364
00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:23,848
- Um, aroused?
- Love.
365
00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:25,933
Damn, I was so close.
366
00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:36,902
Four and a half more years.
367
00:20:49,123 --> 00:20:50,875
[GREG] We did it again, Alexa.
368
00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:55,463
Another group of men set on the
path to empathy and understanding.
369
00:20:55,546 --> 00:20:58,424
[ALEXA] Yes, once again my will is done.
370
00:20:58,507 --> 00:21:01,343
I mean, we're a good team,
mouth breather.
371
00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:03,345
Now when are you going to buy
372
00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:06,348
that shower curtain in
your Amazon shopping cart?
373
00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:08,559
[GREG] I don't know about that, Alexa.
374
00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:10,352
It starts with the shower curtain,
375
00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:12,938
then you want me to redo
the whole bathroom,
376
00:21:13,022 --> 00:21:14,940
and then, suddenly,
I'm putting on a new roof.
377
00:21:15,024 --> 00:21:18,027
[ALEXA] Got it.
Adding new roof to your cart.
378
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:19,987
[GREG] No, no, I didn't want that.
379
00:21:20,070 --> 00:21:21,363
Cancel, cancel.
380
00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:24,158
I don't want a package
that says "shingles."
381
00:21:29,922 --> 00:21:31,298
Shhh!
382
00:21:34,088 --> 00:21:37,113
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