Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:47,710 --> 00:00:48,696
As you know,
2
00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:53,196
the human race grew up alongside
glaciers during the ice ages.
3
00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:56,366
The cold stimulates ancient nerves.
4
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:59,480
It makes you feel a primal
connection to the world.
5
00:01:00,390 --> 00:01:04,060
We used over 300 tons
of ice to create the hotel,
6
00:01:04,570 --> 00:01:06,820
and guests are surprised
to know how much snow.
7
00:01:07,320 --> 00:01:09,046
Over 10,000 tons.
8
00:01:09,070 --> 00:01:10,910
Wow, that's a lot.
9
00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:13,820
Luckily, Norway has
plenty of snow and ice.
10
00:01:16,450 --> 00:01:18,226
These blocks were created
11
00:01:18,250 --> 00:01:22,590
by carefully smoothing the
ice on our river as it freezes,
12
00:01:23,290 --> 00:01:26,840
then harvesting it for
storage in a nearby cave.
13
00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:31,220
Everything you see melts in summer.
14
00:01:32,130 --> 00:01:35,406
We have different artists and
artisans help us build again each year,
15
00:01:35,430 --> 00:01:39,520
so every stay is truly once in a lifetime.
16
00:01:40,230 --> 00:01:41,610
And here we have your room.
17
00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:46,980
The koi suite.
18
00:01:52,110 --> 00:01:54,490
Wow. It's brisk.
19
00:01:55,620 --> 00:01:58,920
Our guest suites are slightly
warmer than the rest of the hotel.
20
00:01:59,410 --> 00:02:01,200
About three degrees below zero.
21
00:02:01,790 --> 00:02:03,380
Not too, too cold.
22
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:06,710
It's quite invigorating
once you get used to it.
23
00:02:08,460 --> 00:02:12,446
As we say, you will feel
som plommen I egget.
24
00:02:12,470 --> 00:02:14,026
Like a yolk in an egg.
25
00:02:14,050 --> 00:02:15,656
Okay, that's adorable.
26
00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:18,286
Som... som plommen I eggen? Eggen?
27
00:02:18,310 --> 00:02:19,390
That's very good.
28
00:02:20,430 --> 00:02:22,956
These fish were hand-carved
29
00:02:22,980 --> 00:02:26,292
by famous Norwegian ice
sculptor, Anders skjeggestad ruud.
30
00:02:26,316 --> 00:02:27,746
He won the boreal forest prize
31
00:02:27,770 --> 00:02:30,166
at the harbin ice sculpting
competition last year.
32
00:02:30,190 --> 00:02:31,666
Beautiful. Isn't that beautiful?
33
00:02:31,690 --> 00:02:34,176
- The bed is made of ice?
- Yes. Isn't that charming?
34
00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:37,966
And I highly recommend trying
our complimentary house Brandy.
35
00:02:37,990 --> 00:02:41,266
- The bed is made of ice.
- It is distilled locally from ice wine,
36
00:02:41,290 --> 00:02:43,886
and I assure you it is quite special.
37
00:02:43,910 --> 00:02:46,226
- These furs are very thick...
- ice. Helen,
38
00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:48,340
we are sleeping on an ice bed.
39
00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:51,856
I could've saved that hundred grand and
frozen my eggs right here, yolks and all.
40
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,260
Now, one more thing.
41
00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:57,486
Your bathrooms are around
the corner, in the hall to your left.
42
00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:59,236
And if you keep going in that direction,
43
00:02:59,260 --> 00:03:02,100
you get to our hot tub
deck, which is always open.
44
00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:06,576
As I'm sure you've noticed, the sky
is quite wonderful this time of year.
45
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:09,350
Anything else you need, please
do not hesitate to let me know.
46
00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:11,610
Thank you, bjorn.
47
00:03:12,610 --> 00:03:13,700
Thank you very much.
48
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,506
I hope you both have an enjoyable stay.
49
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:17,610
God natt?
50
00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:20,306
Excellent. God natt til deg ogsรฅ.
51
00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:21,420
Okay.
52
00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:31,500
This is amazing.
53
00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:35,210
How did I not realize that
the bed would be made of ice?
54
00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:39,276
We just flew 16 hours to
get frozen like Walt Disney.
55
00:03:39,300 --> 00:03:41,286
Walt Disney wasn't
frozen. That's a myth.
56
00:03:41,310 --> 00:03:42,810
And look at this place!
57
00:03:44,060 --> 00:03:45,190
It was worth the trip.
58
00:03:45,890 --> 00:03:49,836
I mean, do we absolutely have to go
every wacky place Rick steves recommends?
59
00:03:49,860 --> 00:03:54,586
I mean, would it be so bad to stay
somewhere that's not an experience
60
00:03:54,610 --> 00:03:56,796
but just a really nice hotel?
61
00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:57,910
Can't it be both?
62
00:03:58,990 --> 00:04:01,006
Doesn't it feel kind of nice?
63
00:04:01,030 --> 00:04:03,926
I mean, my skin feels so awake.
64
00:04:03,950 --> 00:04:05,240
My god. Seriously?
65
00:04:08,250 --> 00:04:09,896
Who knew? Hell is in Norway.
66
00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:12,476
Come on. This is completely your bag.
67
00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:13,960
You love feeling bad.
68
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:22,120
- What you doing over there?
- Looking for your cell phone.
69
00:04:22,510 --> 00:04:25,536
- Val should have numbers by now.
- I already talked to val at the airport.
70
00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:27,076
Come over here. Get
under these blankets,
71
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,850
- they're so soft.
- You talked to val?
72
00:04:29,850 --> 00:04:30,850
What'd she say?
73
00:04:34,270 --> 00:04:36,020
It's on the list!
74
00:04:36,780 --> 00:04:38,176
Congratulations!
75
00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:40,546
- Good. Great.
- Yeah.
76
00:04:40,570 --> 00:04:42,610
Now come over here. Have
some Brandy. It's so good.
77
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:45,200
Where on the list?
78
00:04:46,330 --> 00:04:48,016
It's... stop it. It's a best seller.
79
00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:50,040
I know. I'm just curious where.
80
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:51,960
Top 20.
81
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,316
- Top 20.
- Yeah.
82
00:04:54,340 --> 00:04:56,840
But, like, closer to 11 or closer to 20?
83
00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:58,880
You're impossible.
84
00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:01,890
You're the most impossible
best-selling author I know.
85
00:05:03,430 --> 00:05:04,736
- Come over here.
- Why?
86
00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:06,350
Just come here.
87
00:05:07,980 --> 00:05:08,980
Look at this.
88
00:05:10,350 --> 00:05:12,770
That is amazing.
89
00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,400
God, I always wanted to see it.
90
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:19,126
One time in Canada I came close,
91
00:05:19,150 --> 00:05:22,900
but this is so much better
than I ever imagined.
92
00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:26,386
It kinda looks like a screen saver.
93
00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:28,750
My god. Stop, stop, stop. Sit.
94
00:05:32,170 --> 00:05:33,147
Here you go.
95
00:05:33,171 --> 00:05:35,010
Yeah. Isn't that warmer?
96
00:05:35,670 --> 00:05:37,050
Warmer than what?
97
00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:42,210
You can almost hear it, can't you?
98
00:05:45,850 --> 00:05:46,850
It's turning purple.
99
00:05:49,730 --> 00:05:51,190
Look at that.
100
00:05:54,900 --> 00:05:55,900
Guess what?
101
00:05:56,650 --> 00:05:59,130
Sitting on a block of ice makes
you feel like you have to pee.
102
00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:00,860
Okay, so pee.
103
00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:03,490
Yeah, but is the toilet
gonna be made out of ice?
104
00:06:03,990 --> 00:06:06,030
- What if I stick to it?
- Pee or don't pee, but...
105
00:07:06,930 --> 00:07:08,680
This is your captain speaking.
106
00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:12,576
Fingers crossed, hopefully we've
seen the last of that rough air.
107
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,536
Should be smooth sailing for a while,
108
00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:17,730
so we're gonna go ahead and
turn off that fasten seat belt sign.
109
00:07:19,770 --> 00:07:21,690
Feel free to move about the cabin, Carol.
110
00:07:48,970 --> 00:07:50,220
May we get you anything?
111
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:53,390
Nope. Who's flying today?
112
00:07:54,180 --> 00:07:57,956
Carol, on the flight deck is
captain John McConnell and also...
113
00:07:57,980 --> 00:07:59,626
first officer Tom Deegan.
114
00:07:59,650 --> 00:08:03,820
These individuals have a
combined 51,619 hours of flight time.
115
00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:06,966
And between the two of them,
they've piloted every variant
116
00:08:06,990 --> 00:08:10,410
of this capable and
trustworthy airbus a330 aircraft.
117
00:08:10,950 --> 00:08:12,330
You're in good hands.
118
00:08:14,490 --> 00:08:16,476
That's weirder than
the gal from tgi Fridays.
119
00:08:16,500 --> 00:08:18,180
You doing this because
she freaked me out?
120
00:08:18,620 --> 00:08:21,080
- That's an affirmative, Carol.
- Please stop that.
121
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:24,816
It's much more spacious up in first class.
122
00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:26,646
Sure you won't be
more comfortable there?
123
00:08:26,670 --> 00:08:29,340
It has lie-flat seats.
You could get some rest.
124
00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:30,840
I'm fine where I'm at.
125
00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:33,930
Thank you.
126
00:08:54,870 --> 00:08:57,596
Back in Spain, that was all
the English speakers, right?
127
00:08:57,620 --> 00:09:00,016
Anyone with conversational ability, yes.
128
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,686
Tell me about the non-English speakers.
129
00:09:01,710 --> 00:09:03,396
Certainly. What would you like to know?
130
00:09:03,420 --> 00:09:05,130
Anything. Everything.
131
00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:09,986
Well, let's see. There's bora colak, a
68-year-old candy vendor in Istanbul.
132
00:09:10,010 --> 00:09:12,390
He speaks Turkish and loves cats.
133
00:09:13,050 --> 00:09:15,720
In Bali, there's ida
ayu dewi. Twenty-three.
134
00:09:16,430 --> 00:09:20,496
Speaks Indonesian balinese.
She's a contortionist and a dancer.
135
00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:24,086
Performs the barong, the legong
jobog. It's all quite exquisite.
136
00:09:24,110 --> 00:09:25,416
I'm sure. Keep going.
137
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:28,546
Sidore melis in sardinia is a fisherman.
138
00:09:28,570 --> 00:09:31,320
Or he was, but he's 89 and retired.
139
00:09:31,950 --> 00:09:35,596
There's Mary kuksie akintola.
Lives in Maseru, Lesotho.
140
00:09:35,620 --> 00:09:37,136
What does she do?
141
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:40,556
Her family raises basotho ponies,
but she's only eight years old.
142
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:43,080
- She hasn't decided on a profession.
- Next.
143
00:09:44,130 --> 00:09:46,606
Abdul Kareem alsharei
lives in Aden, Yemen.
144
00:09:46,630 --> 00:09:48,840
He's a 37-year-old muezzin.
145
00:09:49,420 --> 00:09:52,170
Muezzin. That's a... what is that?
146
00:09:52,890 --> 00:09:54,077
He sings the call to prayer.
147
00:09:54,101 --> 00:09:55,880
He has a powerful tenor voice.
148
00:09:56,390 --> 00:09:57,640
He also loves cats.
149
00:09:59,980 --> 00:10:03,376
Okay. But are there
any medical doctors?
150
00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:06,570
Any scientists or an expert of some kind?
151
00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:09,626
Yes. According to time out magazine,
152
00:10:09,650 --> 00:10:13,836
takeo kitanaka in Osaka makes the best
udon noodles in the entire keihanshin...
153
00:10:13,860 --> 00:10:15,780
that's not what I meant. Nope.
154
00:10:17,410 --> 00:10:18,660
All right, that makes... what?
155
00:10:20,450 --> 00:10:21,436
Six.
156
00:10:21,460 --> 00:10:23,880
So, you didn't say anything
about the guy from...
157
00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:28,260
Where was it? Paraguay.
What about him?
158
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,436
His name is manousos oviedo.
159
00:10:30,460 --> 00:10:32,800
We weren't aware of
him for the first 33 hours.
160
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:36,050
He manages a self-storage
facility in Asunciรณn.
161
00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:39,310
So far, he hasn't really
communicated with us.
162
00:10:43,230 --> 00:10:44,230
I wanna talk to him.
163
00:10:44,730 --> 00:10:47,230
He only speaks Spanish
and a bit of guarani.
164
00:10:47,810 --> 00:10:49,770
- Do you want us to translate for you?
- No.
165
00:10:50,530 --> 00:10:51,530
I'll manage.
166
00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:54,570
First thing, once I get home.
167
00:10:56,070 --> 00:10:57,990
We could try him right now, if you like.
168
00:11:14,050 --> 00:11:16,340
He's been a bit
reluctant to get in contact.
169
00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:34,610
Try it again.
170
00:11:56,050 --> 00:11:59,050
Hola, seรฑor. Me llamo c...
171
00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:05,310
I think we got cut off or
something. Try it again.
172
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:24,540
Hola, yo soy Carol sturka.
173
00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:27,147
Estoy de los... United States...
174
00:12:27,171 --> 00:12:30,330
ยกno me jodan mรกs!
ยกDรฉjenme en paz, put as!
175
00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:36,420
Get him back.
176
00:12:39,430 --> 00:12:40,720
Get him back.
177
00:12:56,690 --> 00:12:58,610
ยกChinga tu madre, cabrรณn!
178
00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:04,120
We're sorry, Carol. We
don't think it was personal.
179
00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:38,900
Bye, Carol.
180
00:13:39,740 --> 00:13:41,450
Really, please let us know if there's...
181
00:13:42,990 --> 00:13:44,870
Carol! One... one second.
182
00:13:46,950 --> 00:13:48,410
We have something for you.
183
00:13:54,420 --> 00:13:57,510
We gathered all the mail
that was in transit for you.
184
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,090
We think you're really
gonna like what's in the box.
185
00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:15,350
Anything else we can do
for you, just let us know.
186
00:15:54,710 --> 00:15:56,436
Hi, Carol. What can we do for you?
187
00:15:56,460 --> 00:15:59,550
What exactly do you know
about what's in this box in my mail?
188
00:16:00,130 --> 00:16:04,220
Helen ordered it for you. You'd
been so stressed out on the tour.
189
00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:06,640
You tried one in the Atlanta airport.
190
00:16:07,130 --> 00:16:10,840
But you said it was too expensive,
so Helen bought one online.
191
00:16:11,350 --> 00:16:12,327
Did she?
192
00:16:12,351 --> 00:16:15,730
She thought it would make a nice
gift to celebrate the end of the tour.
193
00:16:16,310 --> 00:16:17,980
A homecoming present.
194
00:16:21,980 --> 00:16:22,980
Carol?
195
00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:27,070
Okay, here's what's gonna happen.
196
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,570
You're gonna forget everything
you know about Helen.
197
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:33,580
Every memory. Every
thought she ever had.
198
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,306
Get her out of your head. Heads.
199
00:16:36,330 --> 00:16:39,556
- Carol, we apologize if it...
- never mention her again.
200
00:16:39,580 --> 00:16:41,516
Never think about her again.
201
00:16:41,540 --> 00:16:44,500
Only I get to remember
her, you got that? Only me.
202
00:17:00,350 --> 00:17:02,350
Then how come your
name isn't big dummy?
203
00:17:03,820 --> 00:17:07,370
Well, there were already three
other people in town with that name.
204
00:17:08,860 --> 00:17:10,336
But that's beside the point.
205
00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:14,386
One day I got up the courage to
go up to mean old lady hickenlooper
206
00:17:14,410 --> 00:17:17,016
and ask her why she always frowned.
207
00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:21,130
Well, she had been born
with no smiling muscles.
208
00:17:23,290 --> 00:17:27,800
I pointed out that a frown is
just a smile turned upside down!
209
00:17:28,550 --> 00:17:33,970
So from then on, whenever I'd go
by, she'd stand on her head and wave!
210
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:02,170
What the hell?
211
00:18:39,870 --> 00:18:42,266
- Good morning, Carol.
- What's with the food?
212
00:18:42,290 --> 00:18:47,250
It's the exact meal you had at that b
and b you stayed at in province town.
213
00:18:47,750 --> 00:18:51,050
2012? Remember? You were
there to see the indigo girls.
214
00:18:51,550 --> 00:18:55,946
You were very complimentary of the chef
that morning. It really stuck with her.
215
00:18:55,970 --> 00:18:59,036
- The sorghum flour pancakes...
- so you took it upon yourself
216
00:18:59,060 --> 00:19:00,560
to make me breakfast?
217
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,820
Well, we knew your
fridge was pretty bare.
218
00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:06,916
You've only got tonic water,
half a carton of oat milk,
219
00:19:06,940 --> 00:19:09,876
a jar of green olives, a jar of
black olives, a jar of red olives...
220
00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:13,216
- I told you Helen was off-limits.
- Yes, of course, Carol.
221
00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:14,320
So how the f...
222
00:19:16,110 --> 00:19:18,556
How do you know what is in my fridge?
223
00:19:18,580 --> 00:19:20,596
Theresa from merry maids.
224
00:19:20,620 --> 00:19:23,750
You had them clean up just before
you got home from the book tour.
225
00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:26,120
Is the food not to your liking?
226
00:19:26,630 --> 00:19:28,487
Would you like us to make
you something else instead?
227
00:19:28,511 --> 00:19:29,580
Nope.
228
00:19:32,670 --> 00:19:34,510
I want you to leave me alone.
229
00:19:53,110 --> 00:19:56,200
Shows what you know, fuckers.
It's three quarters of a carton.
230
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:39,120
What... the... fuck?
231
00:21:05,100 --> 00:21:07,162
- Hello, Carol.
- What happened to my sprouts?
232
00:21:07,186 --> 00:21:09,326
Are you the grinch who
steals supermarkets?
233
00:21:09,350 --> 00:21:12,206
So sorry. We're consolidating resources
234
00:21:12,230 --> 00:21:15,206
to centralize useful items for distribution.
235
00:21:15,230 --> 00:21:18,676
Food, medicine, anything
helpful from stores or businesses
236
00:21:18,700 --> 00:21:20,450
or what used to be private homes.
237
00:21:20,950 --> 00:21:22,700
It's just more efficient.
238
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:26,056
Fine. Fine. I get it.
239
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:28,306
Is there something specific you need?
240
00:21:28,330 --> 00:21:30,516
We can deliver to you
anytime. Anywhere.
241
00:21:30,540 --> 00:21:33,606
I am not going to call you
every time I need something.
242
00:21:33,630 --> 00:21:35,420
I don't want you waiting on me.
243
00:21:36,050 --> 00:21:39,696
I am a very independent person. Okay?
244
00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:42,270
I always have been. I fend for myself.
245
00:21:43,970 --> 00:21:45,350
I just want my sprouts back.
246
00:21:45,850 --> 00:21:47,770
Absolutely. Will do.
247
00:21:48,310 --> 00:21:49,310
Okay.
248
00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:51,480
Great.
249
00:21:53,310 --> 00:21:54,650
So, what?
250
00:21:57,780 --> 00:21:59,626
Can we say Friday, maybe?
251
00:21:59,650 --> 00:22:02,860
I just need a rough estimate
of when I should come back.
252
00:22:03,820 --> 00:22:05,200
We'll be there in a moment.
253
00:24:01,650 --> 00:24:02,876
Carol.
254
00:24:02,900 --> 00:24:04,400
May we sneak past you here?
255
00:25:15,430 --> 00:25:18,496
- All set, Carol. Call us if there's...
- Something you want that's not here.
256
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:20,160
- We'll get it...
- To you toot sweet.
257
00:26:08,900 --> 00:26:10,716
Luckily, there were some druid priests
258
00:26:10,740 --> 00:26:12,990
who were in town for the
opening of stonehenge-land.
259
00:26:14,580 --> 00:26:16,306
They said they could stop it
260
00:26:16,330 --> 00:26:19,460
if they could sacrifice
the town's dumbest virgin.
261
00:26:23,830 --> 00:26:26,420
I don't know why I raised my hand.
262
00:26:32,550 --> 00:26:33,550
Damn it.
263
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:07,420
You have got to be fucking kidding me.
264
00:27:23,980 --> 00:27:25,036
Hello, Carol.
265
00:27:25,060 --> 00:27:27,956
So sorry to startle you.
We didn't mean to do that.
266
00:27:27,980 --> 00:27:29,586
Why are you turning off the lights?
267
00:27:29,610 --> 00:27:32,216
Yes, we know. It was a mistake.
268
00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:34,676
We had a little problem
isolating your branch circuit.
269
00:27:34,700 --> 00:27:36,006
They're back on now, right?
270
00:27:36,030 --> 00:27:37,596
- The lights in your house? Okay.
- Yes.
271
00:27:37,620 --> 00:27:40,386
Why are you turning
them off everywhere else?
272
00:27:40,410 --> 00:27:41,676
For conservation.
273
00:27:41,700 --> 00:27:45,516
Just the ones that aren't necessary.
Which are, well, most of them.
274
00:27:45,540 --> 00:27:48,106
What? Lights aren't necessary for
you guys? You just see in the dark?
275
00:27:48,130 --> 00:27:50,146
No. Not at all.
276
00:27:50,170 --> 00:27:52,236
It's just that there's no crime to prevent,
277
00:27:52,260 --> 00:27:56,026
and we're not working at night.
Except for essential operations.
278
00:27:56,050 --> 00:27:58,366
Water treatment,
hospitals, things like that.
279
00:27:58,390 --> 00:28:00,156
Right, so it's more of your efficiency?
280
00:28:00,180 --> 00:28:04,826
Yes. You donated twice to the
Sierra club, so we felt you'd understand.
281
00:28:04,850 --> 00:28:07,246
If you'd like, we'd be happy
to restore the rest of the lights.
282
00:28:07,270 --> 00:28:10,416
No. Screw it. Leave
them off. Who gives a shit?
283
00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:13,626
Carol, is there anything
we can do to cheer you up?
284
00:28:13,650 --> 00:28:15,320
Cheer me up? Why?
285
00:28:15,820 --> 00:28:19,046
I'm fine. I'm so happy.
286
00:28:19,070 --> 00:28:21,966
There is nothing wrong with me that
a fucking hand grenade wouldn't fix.
287
00:28:21,990 --> 00:28:23,056
You got one of those?
288
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:24,886
'Cause I think that would
be the perfect topper
289
00:28:24,910 --> 00:28:27,080
for the greatest week in human history.
290
00:28:48,940 --> 00:28:49,940
Fuck it.
291
00:29:26,350 --> 00:29:29,496
It must've just been the
excitement of the moment,
292
00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:31,956
but they said the only
way to prevent the eruption
293
00:29:31,980 --> 00:29:34,956
was for me to crawl through
their legs, up the volcano,
294
00:29:34,980 --> 00:29:36,940
while they gave me my birthday whacks.
295
00:29:38,860 --> 00:29:40,990
Well... And you're not
going to believe this...
296
00:30:17,900 --> 00:30:19,046
- Yeah?
- Hi.
297
00:30:19,070 --> 00:30:20,570
Sorry it took so long.
298
00:30:23,820 --> 00:30:25,740
- A hand grenade.
- Yes.
299
00:30:26,540 --> 00:30:28,516
We thought you were
probably being sarcastic,
300
00:30:28,540 --> 00:30:30,500
but we didn't want to take the chance.
301
00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:34,750
Were you being sarcastic?
302
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:40,590
Right. Of course you were.
303
00:30:41,590 --> 00:30:43,156
Do you want us to take...
304
00:30:43,180 --> 00:30:46,680
You know what? We're
just gonna... we'll get rid of it.
305
00:30:50,180 --> 00:30:51,470
Feel better, Carol.
306
00:30:54,730 --> 00:30:55,730
Hey.
307
00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:58,150
Do you maniacs drink?
308
00:31:00,820 --> 00:31:02,046
It's okay.
309
00:31:02,070 --> 00:31:04,660
You can bring the hand grenade.
310
00:31:19,170 --> 00:31:22,396
Does the whole world
get drunk when you drink?
311
00:31:22,420 --> 00:31:27,156
Like, does some six-year-old in Sri Lanka
slur his words when you knock one back?
312
00:31:27,180 --> 00:31:29,520
No, it doesn't work like that.
313
00:31:31,350 --> 00:31:32,770
How do you say cheers in sanskrit?
314
00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:37,400
Roughly it means, "may
everyone be blessed."
315
00:31:38,690 --> 00:31:41,320
Well, then. Shoot... shoo...
316
00:31:42,740 --> 00:31:43,740
Shoopy shoop shoop.
317
00:31:51,370 --> 00:31:54,830
You know the word "vodka" is a
diminutive of voda, meaning "water."
318
00:31:55,830 --> 00:32:00,646
Very similar to the Latin aqua
vitae, literally "water of life."
319
00:32:00,670 --> 00:32:03,026
That becomes the Scandinavian akvavit.
320
00:32:03,050 --> 00:32:05,050
Although the drinks are very different.
321
00:32:06,260 --> 00:32:08,906
Fun fact, whiskey has
the same root meaning.
322
00:32:08,930 --> 00:32:11,696
It's Scots Gaelic from uisce beat ha.
323
00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:13,010
You don't say.
324
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:20,296
What gives this particular
brand its distinctive smoothness,
325
00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:23,490
it's distilled from both potato and corn.
326
00:32:24,150 --> 00:32:26,360
It is slightly alkaline. Do you taste that?
327
00:32:27,740 --> 00:32:30,056
Lower-shelf alcohol tends to be acidic.
328
00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:32,806
The chief distiller learned the
process from his grandfather.
329
00:32:32,830 --> 00:32:35,030
And now you learned it by
stealing it out of his brain.
330
00:32:41,710 --> 00:32:44,500
How long do I have left before
you turn me into a worker bee?
331
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:49,140
It's a hard thing to predict.
332
00:32:49,890 --> 00:32:51,906
Scientific advances tend to ebb and flow.
333
00:32:51,930 --> 00:32:54,390
That's not an answer. How long?
334
00:32:56,230 --> 00:32:57,770
We're working round the clock.
335
00:32:58,350 --> 00:33:03,400
It could be as soon as a couple
weeks, or it could take months or longer.
336
00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:09,160
That's quite the range for someone
who knows everything that there is to know.
337
00:33:12,450 --> 00:33:15,950
Regardless, sooner or later, I'm fucked.
338
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:20,670
Sorry, Carol. We have
a biological imperative.
339
00:33:21,250 --> 00:33:23,856
You people make no goddamn sense.
340
00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:24,960
Do you know that?
341
00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:28,196
"We wanna make you happy," you say.
342
00:33:28,220 --> 00:33:30,866
"Your life is your own," you say.
343
00:33:30,890 --> 00:33:34,980
And "agency." I've got
all this agency, but...
344
00:33:35,470 --> 00:33:39,220
I mean, I guess I have
agency just until I don't?
345
00:33:41,310 --> 00:33:42,310
Carol...
346
00:33:43,900 --> 00:33:47,086
If you were walking by a lake,
and you saw somebody drowning,
347
00:33:47,110 --> 00:33:48,900
would you throw 'em a life preserver?
348
00:33:49,700 --> 00:33:50,966
Of course you would.
349
00:33:50,990 --> 00:33:55,466
You wouldn't think, you wouldn't wait,
you wouldn't try to get consensus on it.
350
00:33:55,490 --> 00:33:57,580
You'd just throw it.
351
00:33:59,750 --> 00:34:02,000
So now I'm drowning?
352
00:34:03,540 --> 00:34:04,870
You just don't know it.
353
00:34:07,550 --> 00:34:12,510
Well, you people are
brainwashed, is what you are.
354
00:34:13,090 --> 00:34:18,810
I mean what could possibly be so
great about this mind meld of yours?
355
00:34:19,350 --> 00:34:22,650
Actually, let me guess. It's...
356
00:34:23,270 --> 00:34:26,876
It's all beautiful scenery, and
you feel nothing but contentment.
357
00:34:26,900 --> 00:34:33,070
Just wave after wave of bliss and
peace and everything is perfect.
358
00:34:33,570 --> 00:34:38,530
It's like living inside a postcard,
every second of every day.
359
00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:42,396
Basically, it's every Rick
steves special ever, right?
360
00:34:42,420 --> 00:34:43,476
That kind of bullshit?
361
00:34:43,500 --> 00:34:47,526
Like you're taking a hike in the
woods, and there's a warm rain,
362
00:34:47,550 --> 00:34:52,446
and the trees are so tall
you can't even see the tops.
363
00:34:52,470 --> 00:34:56,116
Or you're having coffee
on the canals in Amsterdam,
364
00:34:56,140 --> 00:34:59,196
and it's like you're in
a coffee commercial.
365
00:34:59,220 --> 00:35:04,640
Or you're taking a walk at sunset
on the most flawless beach in Croatia.
366
00:35:05,190 --> 00:35:08,990
Or you're in Norway,
above the arctic circle in...
367
00:35:11,450 --> 00:35:13,450
In a hotel made of ice.
368
00:35:14,700 --> 00:35:16,790
Under a pile of furs.
369
00:35:28,750 --> 00:35:32,630
I told you that Helen was off-limits.
370
00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:45,560
You are a bunch of mind-fuckers.
371
00:35:58,200 --> 00:36:00,660
Wow, you got this thing really
jammed in there, don't you?
372
00:36:02,330 --> 00:36:05,016
Please, be careful with that.
373
00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:07,540
Right. Like you would give
me a real hand grenade.
374
00:36:10,090 --> 00:36:11,420
Carol, if we may?
375
00:36:48,790 --> 00:36:50,080
You gave me...
376
00:36:58,680 --> 00:37:02,060
Shit. Shit. Fuck.
377
00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:06,230
Fuck.
378
00:37:13,030 --> 00:37:14,070
Shit.
379
00:37:14,940 --> 00:37:17,426
Okay. I'm gonna go
get some help, okay?
380
00:37:17,450 --> 00:37:18,910
It's okay, Carol.
381
00:37:19,950 --> 00:37:21,120
Help is coming.
382
00:38:13,130 --> 00:38:14,380
May we join you?
383
00:38:20,680 --> 00:38:23,776
We're happy to say
zosia's doing much better.
384
00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:26,866
There was some blood loss,
but no real nerve damage.
385
00:38:26,890 --> 00:38:30,310
She did get a pretty severe concussion
that we're gonna wanna keep an eye on.
386
00:38:31,140 --> 00:38:32,390
She's resting now.
387
00:38:34,270 --> 00:38:36,440
Can we get you a
fresh change of clothes?
388
00:38:40,740 --> 00:38:44,040
Carol, your quick thinking
really saved the day.
389
00:38:47,830 --> 00:38:50,580
Why would you give
me a hand grenade?
390
00:38:51,370 --> 00:38:52,410
You asked for one.
391
00:38:53,630 --> 00:38:55,050
Why not give me a fake one?
392
00:38:58,510 --> 00:39:00,510
Sorry if we got that wrong, Carol.
393
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:08,116
If I asked right now, would you
give me another hand grenade?
394
00:39:08,140 --> 00:39:09,310
Yes.
395
00:39:10,060 --> 00:39:12,246
Even after last night, you
would give me another?
396
00:39:12,270 --> 00:39:13,610
Sure.
397
00:39:17,270 --> 00:39:19,020
Okay, what about a bazooka?
398
00:39:19,780 --> 00:39:22,910
And the thing a bazooka
shoots? A rocket, or whatever.
399
00:39:24,070 --> 00:39:25,360
Yes.
400
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:27,280
All right.
401
00:39:28,790 --> 00:39:29,790
All right.
402
00:39:30,790 --> 00:39:31,880
What about...
403
00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:35,380
I don't know, a tank?
404
00:39:40,630 --> 00:39:44,090
What about an atom bomb?
405
00:39:47,470 --> 00:39:48,720
Why would you want one?
406
00:39:49,310 --> 00:39:50,326
To blow shit up?
407
00:39:50,350 --> 00:39:52,246
For kicks. I mean, does it matter?
408
00:39:52,270 --> 00:39:54,940
You gave me a grenade, for fuck's sake.
409
00:40:02,990 --> 00:40:05,200
It'd be okay to say no at this point.
410
00:40:05,820 --> 00:40:07,280
That would be sane.
411
00:40:07,910 --> 00:40:10,790
Not utterly batshit crazy.
412
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:16,960
If you truly wanted a nuclear weapon,
413
00:40:17,540 --> 00:40:21,736
we would weigh the
pros and cons with you.
414
00:40:21,760 --> 00:40:25,117
We would explain that it
would be very destructive...
415
00:40:25,141 --> 00:40:26,720
yes or no?
416
00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:30,640
Ultimately...
417
00:40:31,930 --> 00:40:32,930
Yes.
418
00:40:34,230 --> 00:40:35,940
Wouldn't necessarily feel good about it.
419
00:40:37,650 --> 00:40:42,110
But we would move heaven and
earth to make you happy, Carol.
420
00:40:45,990 --> 00:40:48,830
Would you like an atom bomb?
421
00:40:51,790 --> 00:40:53,750
I'm gonna have to
get back to you on that.
422
00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:59,380
Okay. Okay.
423
00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:01,460
Would you like a cup of coffee?
424
00:41:03,340 --> 00:41:05,130
One sugar, with oat milk, right?
425
00:41:05,630 --> 00:41:07,510
- And maybe a pinch of...
- You can go.
33437
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.