Original subtitles

Avalanche.

Cool!

Great!

Awesome!

Horrible!

Don't help them.

Stand up!

Morons! You're useless!

That's all for today.

Dismiss!

Yes!

Awesome!

That move just now...

Get away!

I told you.

No bubble gum.

You're awesome!

Really?

Yes, especially your ultimate move

the Avalanche.

You're a real man.

And your hair swaying back and forth.

How impressive!

Are you free tonight?

Watch TV at my place.

It's big and comfy.

You're crazy!

Grizzly tried to pick you up.

Why didn't you say yes?

Grizzly, watch TV at my place.

It's big and comfy.

You look exactly like him.

That's true...

What are you looking for in a man?

Yes!

Handsome, gentle and easygoing.

A real... hero

I don't know about heroes.

But definitely pretty.

You're gorgeous and smart.

The lonely 36, 24, 36.

Let me be a part of your life.

Call 4567.

Remember.

Never call 116.

He's famous for touch-and-run.

But last time.

He left as soon as he saw me.

He didn't touch.

What's wrong with that?

At least you didn't catch anything.

Go change

I think you're going crazy!

I'm telling you.

There are no more heroes.

Did you call the police?

Yes, officer.

You've been robbed?

Yes, cleaned me out.

What's your name?

He Jin Yin.

Show me your ID card.

Look at me, officer.

Where can I possibly hide it?

Doesn't take a genius to rob you.

What?

Do you recognize the robber?

What does he look like? What?

Let me try.

Do you remember

what the guy looked like?

So what if I do? He had my consent.

What do you mean?

This is what happened

I was walking by.

A man in rags came towards me.

He asked me for $20 to buy food

I felt sorry for him and gave him $20.

Then he told me.

His wife and son have not eaten

and have no clothes.

He took off my clothes

snatched my wallet and asked if I mind

I told him I do mind

but I'll let it slide

I offered to take off my underwear.

Because I should help him all the way

I was worried I'll get arrested

for indecent exposure.

So I called the police

and put it on record

I see.

P.C.26324, we have a nudist on hand.

Suspected of being retarded.

Please send backup...

You got this all wrong.

Let me repeat the story.

Take him away!

Let's go, retarded nudist.

Officer, I'm really...

Cut the crap

I pitied him, why would I lie?

People like you

make the world more pitiful.

Get up and eat!

Try this on.

This is for you, son.

Can't believe there's such a kind person

I'm back!

So what?

Have some water.

Thanks.

It's spicy!

Not enough? I'll add more.

Next time you have an order for North Point...

send someone else

I had to climb up the hill

I almost didn't make it.

It's for your own good.

Gives you proper training.

Take this to Wan Hua.

What did you say?

I can't take this anymore, Boss.

You're the Boss' pet

I'm so jealous.

Stop teasing me.

Can you tell?

Boss.

There's a fly in my soup.

Let me see

Johnny...

Don't give me that!

I had some of it

and the fly is still swimming around

like it was showing off

and mocking me.

Say no more!

I'm fastidious about hygiene.

Not just you

we hate flies too. Kill it.

Hurry!

What are you doing?

Crush it... hurry.

Hygiene is our top priority

I'll kill it for you

I just want another bowl of soup.

What's the fuss?

Just give me another bowl.

It's that simple.

Stop!

The fly is here...

Help!

Forget it!

It's over! Get back to your food.

It's alright...

Alright.

Come here!

If we don't make a scene...

We won't get paid.

We must do our best, right?

Right...

Good job!

Isn't it too much?

You don't have to break a bottle to kill a fly

I'm just trying to help.

That bottle costs 50 cents, you moron!

Where's the bottle?

Behind you.

Chief, what do you think?

Excellent! You're the only woman

who can throw me over.

It's my birthday today.

Come join my party.

They're all staring at us.

Don't do this!

I won't let go unless you say yes.

Let go of me, you maniac!

Let go!

Thanks.

Don't mention it.

Bye!

I'm busy tonight.

What about tomorrow?

I have 2 tickets for Jacky Cheung's concert.

Let's go together.

Having my period tomorrow. I can't go out.

What a coincidence!

So am I!

Delivery!

Morning...

Give me a sandwich.

Only if you pay.

You're catching on!

You don't have a girlfriend, take her! Don't be shy!

Stop teasing me!

He's not so bad.

If you're not coming to the party.

At least give me a birthday kiss.

Li, I'm so nice to you.

You know how many girls approach me

and I still neglect them.

Why don't you grab your chance?

I don't know either

I'll kiss anyone but not you.

What? Anyone?

Don't talk nonsense.

Don't lie to yourself, Li

I know you love me

I'm telling you, you can't kiss anyone.

Morning...

...but me.

Don't give me this bullshit.

Get over here now!

Don't be ridiculous!

What if I fall for you?

Do you want to see Jacky Cheung's concert?

Let's go together

I'm busy.

Busy my foot! Let's go.

Stop right there! You hear me?

Let go of me! Come back!

The Manager is looking for you

I like Jacky Cheung too.

If you really want to go

I'll be happy to go with you.

But make it Wednesday.

That's the only day I'm off

in the whole month.

What's the kid doing with Li?

If you must go today.

Mind if I wear a hat?

Or give me some time

to fix my hair.

My hairstyle

doesn't go with your personality. May I?

Sorry!

I kissed you without asking

I was only kidding.

Kidding?

Yes!

I'm so relieved!

It's alright!

It happens to me all the time.

Good!

Bye!

Run along!

I'll wait till my legs quit trembling

and my heart slows down before I can go

I'm sorry.

Can I help you?

No...

I'm fine

I'll sit down for a while.

What's your name?

He Jin Yin. I'm the delivery boy.

Forgot my name card.

My name is Li.

Nice to meet you.

Bye!

I have to go! Bye.

Li!

About Jacky Cheung's concert.

Is that a joke too?

I want to go, but the tickets are hard to get.

Not really, if you try hard enough.

You'll get what you want!

Bye!

"Ticket office opens at 9:00 A.M."

Get in line...

Get in line...

Jacky Cheung... we love you.

Queue up!

Jacky Cheung... we love you

I love Leon Lai...

Fix him...

Mister.

Can I take your place for $1,000?

Sorry, this is important to me

I promised my girlfriend

I'll get concert tickets.

How about $2,000?

It's not the money.

You should do it yourself.

Like I sacrificed my only day off in a month

and camped out here overnight.

Why are you doing this?

If your girlfriend finds out

your dirty tricks.

She'll never forgive you.

Hey!

I promised my boyfriend

I'll get tickets.

Can I have your place?

Sorry! You can't

I'll buy you dinner.

Just one dinner?

How many do you want?

At least 3 or 4.

No way!

If I were you.

Even if it takes 30 dinners

I'll do it without thinking.

How can you do that? You're crazy!

If you won't make sacrifices for love.

You'll never get the concert tickets.

My grandson

wants me to get the tickets.

But there's such a long queue.

Can you give me your spot?

I really love my grandson.

Even if you don't pay me.

Or take me to dinner.

For the fact that you love your grandson.

You can take my spot.

How kind of you!

You'll be rewarded.

Get in line...

2 tickets please.

That old lady bought all the tickets.

Can't be! I only need 2 tickets.

There were only 20. We're sold out now.

Let go!

Granny!

Do me a favor

I just want 2 tickets

I gave them to my grandson.

Where is he?

Outside... holding all the tickets.

Tickets for Jacky Cheung concert

$500 each! Front stall $1,500.

Hurry...

Don't jump queue!

I want 2.

No problem.

You're arrested for scalping.

Sorry!

What are you still doing here?

I tried to get 2 tickets.

It's so unfair.

Of course you can't get them.

They're all here.

Jacky Cheung?

Here!

I love you, Jacky!

No thanks. I have a girlfriend.

Li, Jacky Cheung

made me believe in miracles.

Now I have the guts to ask you out.

Enclosed please find 2 tickets

I hope we can go together.

Tomorrow at 3

I'll wait at the bus stop outside.

Here's the delivery boy.

Li.

Mr. He.

Hello!

What a coincidence!

Yes!

I brought you an egg sandwich.

Sorry, I don't eat eggs.

Let's go! Hurry...

Bye!

Give it to your mother.

Let me eat it!

We're late, let's go.

Bye!

Help!

That bitch ate my sandwich!

What's wrong?

Are you alright?

My throat...

Is it serious?

I want to throw up

I'll pat you on the back.

What is this?

What are you still doing here?

Li is waiting for you by the bus stop.

You're so smart!

Really?

Trust me! You owe me dinner!

Anything you say!

No one can compare to you

I'll never forget your smile.

You're the one I love.

You kiss me with those tender lips

I can't help myself

I'm losing control.

Are you alright?

I'm fine.

Shit!

How are you, Mr. He.

Hi...

This is for you.

Thanks.

There's no need.

Let's shake hands.

Sure!

You're strange! I've never met

anyone like you.

Thanks...

Thanks for the tickets.

No need.

Come on, don't be shy!

No...

How's it going?

We're fine, thanks.

Why are you thanking me?

Whatever.

What are you afraid of...

You have body-odor or somethin'?

Bingo!

You kissed her yesterday.

Are you getting into the sack with her today?

Cut the crap! He's just a friend.

Mind your manners

I'm provoking you, so?

I dare you to hit me.

Hit me... come on.

Hit me hard!

That won't be necessary.

You've been punished enough.

What's this?

I guess it's shit.

But I don't know whose it is!

How dare you!

You bastard! You had the nerve to dodge!

How can you do that?

What kind of a man are you?

Li, come watch TV.

No

Madonna is singing.

Come quick!

I don't want to watch.

Are you alright?

I'm fine.

Here comes Madonna. Come quick!

No!

She's wearing a tuxedo!

Don't be a nag, Mother!

Li.

What is it?

What are you doing here?

I came to apologize.

Don't be silly! There's no need to apologize.

It's not your fault.

How is your nose?

Fine.

Really?

Really!

You're lying

I hit myself on the nose casually.

It hurts so bad I'm in tears.

Sorry, I'm really fine.

Please don't worry.

Don't lie to me

I insist that you go to the hospital for a check up.

It can be serious.

You may have internal bleeding

or nasosinusitis

or even cancer if you're out of luck.

You may be dead!

Are you finished?

It's late, I want to go to bed.

You better leave.

Here! Take this back.

Please don't do this to me, Li.

Please give me another chance

I treasure what we have.

It's important to me.

You got it all wrong, Mr. He

I don't like cowards

I didn't even touch him.

He's already on his knees begging

like a dog.

Do you know who I hit?

Who?

Li.

She flew 9 feet high

and spun 2 full circles.

Isn't that wonderful?

You bragged about injuring someone.

How can you do that?

What about when you had shit all over your face?

Why don't you mention that?

Shit all over your face?

What did you say?

I'm saying.

You better apologize to Li.

Are you alright, Li?

Don't move!

I tried calling you last night.

Did you know?

You didn't pick up, I was so worried

I couldn't sleep at all.

Stop!

How can you do that to him?

I didn't do anything.

Go deliver your order.

Did you hear me?

Asshole.

Are you hurt?

I told you I don't like cowards.

How is he?

He's an idiot.

Don't mind him, let's practice!

We don't open until 9 o'clock.

It's 8:45, 15 more minutes to go.

What do you want?

I'm a coward.

It's obvious. You should come last night.

US$20

$20?

Yes.

Apply a thin layer 30 minutes beforehand.

Last time some kid

used the whole bottle and...

No, I don't need this

I want my money back.

Your fingerprints are all over it.

You can't return it.

Then give me 2 beers.

Alright!

Give me $8 more

I'll keep the change.

Here's a pack of peanuts.

Don't look or it'll cost you more.

Go away!

Look at you

2 words are tattooed on your face.

Heart broken.

You really are?

So what? People do that all the time.

The first time?

So it should be the hardest.

You don't need a beer.

Right now.

You should change into something more cheerful.

Listen to a good song

and eat a big breakfast.

You'll feel much better.

Let me help you.

Trust me!

Come on!

This is the best deal for you.

Nice clothes, a song and a big breakfast

I'm charging you 60 cents per second.

What do you think?

I think I've been had.

Really?

Does that take your mind off

the fact that you've been jilted?

Maybe.

Get more involved!

Brace yourself and sing along

I guarantee you'll feel better.

Sing!

Leave her...

Yeah... baby.

Leave her...

Yeah... baby.

Don't look at me, look over there.

Please pass the ball back.

It's raining...

Hurry...

Are you alright?

Don't be silly! I know kung fu.

Kung fu?

Yes

I can teach you. 20% off.

"Chinese Ancient Boxing."

In this sports center.

The Chinese Ancient Boxing school has a long history

I'm the current Chief.

What should I call you, old man?

Call me the Devilish Muscle Man.

Anything but old man.

Sure!

Why is the gym

behind your grocery store?

The grocery store is a side business

I'm a boxing coach by profession.

Fame is not my game

I hate people who court publicity

Bruce Lee was my classmate.

Do I brag about that?

Jackie Chan likes to have tea with me

I'd like to humor him too.

That's him, see that?

Do I tell you about him?

What's the big deal?

What do you want to learn?

What can you teach me?

Iron Sand Palm

originated from Si Shui is powerful

capable of shattering anyone's internal organs.

They'll be dead on arrival at the hospital.

Takes 3 days to learn and $600.

Armor Skill

came from Southern Shaolin, 70km north of Fujian

and 30 knots south of Shan Mei.

It'll render you impenetrable to all weapons

including fire and water.

Takes 5 days and $800.

Flying guillotine

from the late Ming and early Qing dynasty.

The official weapon for imperial assassins

capable of decapitating anyone from miles away

because it is lethal

I'm using this yo-yo instead.

Takes 7 days and $1,000.

Poison Dragon Drill

came from a comic

and started out as a fantasy.

But I have modified it

and turned it into powerful footwork.

It'll cost $1,500.

Lightning Death Ray.

It has killed numerous monsters

and all those dinosaurs.

Took young people by storm in the 70s

I can tell you it's fake.

There is no such thing.

It only exists in the movies

I must tell you.

You don't have to worry.

Honesty and practicality are my motto

I'm the Devilish Muscle Man

I choose my students

based on potential

I don't teach just anyone who wants to learn

I better go.

Don't!

We're getting along just fine.

You don't have to worry

I think it's too expensive.

Anything is negotiable

I'm not making much as it is

I'll teach you for free if you have potential.

Really?

Really!

That's not a good idea.

Your leg...

I don't want you to overexert yourself.

Sorry for the intrusion.

Iron Sand Palm emphasizes inner strength.

It can kill without being noticed.

It's amazing!

Fame is not my game.

Please don't tell anyone

I'm a kung fu expert

I'm just a cripple.

Yes!

Can you beat judo?

Judo?

You're kidding.

Of course I can beat judo

Chinese kung fu has a long history.

As they say, there are no cowards with kung fu.

Can you teach me?

I make no promises.

Tell me what do you want to learn.

Everything.

That's expensive

and exhausting

I don't mind

I want to be strong.

Very good!

From the fire in your eyes

I know you have great potential.

Cut the bullshit and pay up.

Fine.

Your fees, Master.

Wait!

What?

This is my hard earned money.

Don't worry. I understand

I can speed up your training.

Wait!

What now?

You said you'll teach me for free if I have potential.

Good question! Hang on!

The money is not for me.

It'll be donated to fellow Chinese in the Mainland.

So that they can all go to school

as well as learn kung fu.

How meaningful!

Yes! Put it in!

Everything.

You're now a student of Ancient Chinese Boxing.

Congratulations!

Let's go.

Yes.

Li.

Going to class?

Yes

I'm secretly practicing kung fu.

Really?

I can also tell you

I'm getting good.

Oh!

If you run into any trouble.

Just let me know.

It doesn't matter what time. I stay up late.

Really? Try it!

Thanks.

Here comes Yin.

Bastard!

What are you doing?

You're supposed to wash the rice, not jab it.

You've been at it for half an hour!

What has the rice done to you?

Did it kill your father?

You can kill it with a knife.

But stop jabbing!

I'm practicing.

Practicing?

Yes.

Practice on me!

Are you alright, Boss?

I want you dead!

Noodles!

What's this?

Curry beef with braised noodles

I wanted fried noodles

I'll get you another one.

Let me handle this.

What's the meaning of this?

Sorry! I'll do it.

Sorry...

The kitchen is swamped.

Sorry.

Here it is, sir!

I've lost my appetite.

Help yourself!

You're making a mess.

Doing that in front of the customer.

You want me to close down?

Next time.

Do it in the back.

Not in front of the customer

I'm so busy practicing

I did that subconsciously.

What's wrong with you?

You're dreaming.

You're an idiot, who would teach you?

He's taking advantage of you.

If you don't do it

I'm already eternally grateful.

What? I took advantage of you?

You were an orphan.

Alright, Boss...

I took you in

I fed you and put a roof over your head.

How can you say that?

Stop it!

If you want to quit.

You're welcome to leave... go!

No one is asking you to stay.

Shut up!

What are you doing?

Where are you going?

Don't mind him! Get back to work!

Alright... it's over.

Let's eat.

Yin.

Everyone needs an identity and self respect.

As a student of Ancient Chinese Boxing.

You should have a uniform.

Here!

You're my life saver, Master!

You deserve it.

Wearing it.

People will show you due respect.

Moreover.

This is our Jiu Yin manual.

Keep it!

Jiu Yin manual?

Why must I wear a mask?

That's proof of your skill.

Sit down!

You're too nice to me!

Don't say that!

I've given you 2 treasures.

You should help our suffering countrymen.

After all, blood is thicker than water.

Just $20?

You donated $500 for the last stance!

This is all I have!

Get this straight! It's not for me!

It's up to you how much you're giving

I'm just as happy if you donate nothing.

If you have any jewelry at home

or...

Master, for my fellow countrymen

I've done all I could

I'm broke now.

What about your salary?

I hated that job

I quit already

I have nothing.

But since you're so nice to me

I'll stay with you from now on.

Practicing and looking after you.

What's wrong?

You're shuddering!

Nothing.

In that case.

Come with me.

Now I'll teach you

the most formidable movement.

But Master...

This manual is useless now.

It'll depend on you.

Trust me, I can do it.

Roll down from here.

All those steps?

What kind of movement is that?

Are you serious?

This is called the Invincible Fireball.

You kill your enemy by rolling down with him

I'll be dead too.

No! How can you be so stupid?

Hold him tight.

Protect yourself with his body.

Make use of gravity

and universal gravitation.

Apply turbo speed

using your body weights.

If even so you can't get rid of your opponent...

Come see me

I still don't understand.

This is a difficult movement

and highly dangerous

I understand if you don't want to learn.

That'll prove you don't have what it takes

so don't come to me again.

Please don't say that!

I'll do my best.

If you succeed.

You'll be invincible

and you don't need me anymore.

That's all.

Go...

Master.

What is it now?

You're dumping me?

Say anything you want.

Master!

What do you want?

I want to give you this Swatch

I always carry it with me.

How much is it worth?

It's not worth much

but it was my birthday present

from some relatives.

Thanks...

Don't mention it! It has sentimental value

I won't let you down.

Don't be such a nag!

He couldn't have!

How stupid!

It hurts!

I saw everything, Master.

What?

How to practice the Invincible Fireball.

You showed me, right?

Without a second thought.

You tumbled down! That's cool!

I stood up there for the longest time

and didn't dare.

You saw everything?

Yes! It was awesome!

This is tough

I better learn something else.

Something less demanding.

Whatever! I've done a demonstration

I should get paid.

No problem!

Then hurry up!

I'm bleeding already.

Come with me!

No! Just give it to me!

Asshole!

- Morning! - Morning!

This is for you

I was rude, I'm sorry.

Forget it!

Why don't you come to my place

I want to talk to you.

It's big and comfy.

Don't do this!

Please give me a chance.

Come back!

Chief, your glasses are broken!

What? You broke my Armani!

My Armani...

Don't yell.

She's gone.

Grab her!

Yes!

Come back!

What do you want?

Let go of me!

Do you know how long it took me

to save enough for this?

I need this to woo girls. You must pay for it.

On my count to 3, let go!

I've been after you for so long

and you played hard-to-get.

Now you leave me no choice.

Stop!

Let her go!

Who is he?

Garfield. He's my favorite!

Grab her!

Who are you?

Let her go!

Quit the act, asshole!

Take off the mask!

I said let her go!

You're dead meat, talking to me like that!

She's mine.

He's ready to strike.

Must be a good show.

Come on!

I can nail you.

Hit him...

Yes!

Pathetic! Cut open his mask!

Yeah...

See?

Death to those who challenge me.

Who's Grizzly fighting?

A masked man challenged Grizzly.

Awesome!

I'm invincible

I told you...

no one beats me.

Come on!

Avalanche!

Invincible Fireball.

Incredible!

Hurry...

Beat him!

Master!

Are you alright, master?

Master is right

I'm better under the mask

I won!

I won!

Come down to the Police station.

You're charged with disorderly conduct.

You're suspected of being a triad member.

We need that mask for evidence.

Big news! A masked Garfield

rescued Li.

Big news! A masked Garfield

rescued Li.

Big news! The best combat fighter Grizzly

was beaten first time in 3 years.

Masked Garfield defeated.

Grizzly with Invincible Fireball.

No more bets!

Guess who is the Masked Garfield

I told you I don't know.

- That's not possible? - Can it be?

If you don't know him.

Why would he come to your rescue?

That's right...

Don't lie to us.

Tell us

I don't know what to say.

My whole life.

No one has ever

stood up for me like that

I wonder who he is

I know he saved me

without asking for anything in return.

He gets up every time he's down.

He's truly courageous.

All I want is to meet him

and personally thank him.

You don't know him?

Then we can't place our bets.

Seeing you is like seeing him

I've been waiting for you.

Wait! Let me guess.

You have thick brows

penetrating eyes

a real hero

I'm so nervous.

You're absolutely right! Kiss me.

Stop!

Actually I saved you.

How will you repay me?

It was me!

Here's my house key. Take it

I'll be waiting...

I don't take advantage of women.

Let me hug you.

Li!

No!

Damn!

I'll save you.

You're despicable!

What are you doing here?

Don't jump queue!

No...

Do you know the rules?

Get in line.

Go...

I'm the real guy.

Get in line!

Taxi!

You're here, Master

I'm here for the fun.

How could you?

They're all the same!

But I really saved the girl!

So what?

You couldn't have done it without me.

Without you?

I used the Invincible Fireball.

Cut the bullshit!

You were lucky.

But you won't be so lucky next time.

You'll kill yourself!

What? I lied.

Do you want to know

tomorrow's headline?

What?

Car crash.

Why did you lie to me?

Everyone can practice kung fu

and you'd believe that.

Who else would fall for it?

Tell me!

Why are you telling me now?

Because you're asking me now

so I'm telling you now.

You didn't ask me before

I can't possibly volunteer.

You lied to me.

Don't believe me.

This may not be something to brag about.

But it wasn't my fault.

You were stupid

I want my money back!

Forget it!

You'll have no son.

Don't get personal!

Why not?

Cripple! Swindler! Sex maniac!

Wimp! Sissy! Coward!

I beat Grizzly, I'm not a coward.

You won't beat him without me.

You lied to me. I did it myself

I gave you confidence

or else you wouldn't dare to challenge him

or go after Li.

Leave her out of this.

Why?

What's the big deal?

I dare you to take off

that stupid mask in front of her