Original subtitles

The following programme contains very strong language and adult humour.

Stakker Humanoid #

What the fuck?

Money # # The best things in life are free

# But you can give 'em To the birds and bees

# I need money # That's what I want

# That's what I want

# That's what I want ...

I'm being stalked.

Being stalked by who? By an eye in the sky.

Oh, for God's sake. What have you taken?

I have had a fucking drone follow me for the last two hours.

And everywhere I go, it's just there...

whirring, watching me... Could be one of them,

y'know, Amazon delivery thingies.

That's not a fucking thing, Michael; it's not Skynet.

You fucking clown. How do you know it's following ya?

Because... I tried to fucking lose it/

I fucking ran away, and I hid. And it was just there...

..like a creepy winged beast.

Have you got any enemies? Me? No.

No, I'm all peace, love and happiness, sister.

The only beef I've got is with fucking HMRC.

Fucking HMRC aren't after you, you daft twat?!

Look, this is Big Brother.

This is fucking big. This is Orwell, this.Give over.

Listen... just chill the fuck out.

Get him a Brandy. Just... Let's rationalise it a bit.

Feel like I'm in an episode of Black Mirror.

A good one, not one of them weird ones where they try and be funny.

He's gone mad.How long do they stay in the air for?Like...

45 minutes max. I mean, it's only a small lithium polymer battery.

God, it's not sexy knowledge.

Is it? Well, this polymer lithium battery,

40 fucking minutes, wait till the bastard lands.

And then, you've got your drone infer-dell, ha'n't ya?

That, actually, is a very good idea. Thanks, dude.

Would you do that for me, brother? 'Course we will.

We'll all do it, won't we? Will we?No. No.

Thank you.I can't do it now. Cos I've got a lot of shit to do.

Gotta go and see Dr Chris and fucking...

Uh... Just let me know how you get on.

See you later, everyone! Careful out there.

"Had we but world enough, and time,

this coyness, lady, were no crime.

But time is short, so now,

let us sport us while we may."

See what he's doing?No. He's saying to his mistress,

"Look, we're wasting time here. Let's get to it, sweetheart."

Right. Pluck the day, Vinnie

I get it. And, in principle, fantastic!

In reality, we've got shit to do.

Gotta make dinner, gotta wash up, gotta take your bins out.

Sometimes, I just wanna fucking stay in my shack.

I just don't wanna see anyone or sp... or speak to 'em.

You've gotta find the joy in the small things.

But like what, though?Like anything. Everyday stuff like...

Look, I've befriended a squirrel.

Really?! Yeah.

Mm.This little squirrel, sweet little thing; he... he...

..lives outside my window, and I put a little bit of, uh...

ciabatta out for him. Ciabatta?Yeah.

He shoots straight off his tree, comes straight down, picks it up...

And he's looking at me, with his little, black, beady eyes.

And he's saying... .."Thank you, Human Daddy."

Promise you, Vinnie, some days, that's the best thing that happens to me all day.

Oh, fuck off, what's his name?

He's called Squirrel Nibbles.

That's so lame, dude. You just made that up there.

I didn't.Yeah, you did.I did not! That's such a shit name for him.

I love you, Human Daddy. Super lame, dude.

He's my furry son.

Ask him about the squirrel. Don't tell everyone.

Groove Is In The Heart # # Dig! #

It's a DGI Mini Four. Excellent picture quality.

What is it like being married to an NPC?

What's MCP?

Just ignore her. You can fuck off, NPC.

I invited you on this bloody task. What does it mean?

Non-playable character. It's not even fucking accurate, OK?

Because an NPC is devoid of...

of individuality and... and... and decision-making.

Oh, it's lowering. What?

Ouch! Right, head eastwards.

What does that mean? Fucking left or right?Right, right.

Oh, it's turning back south. What do you mean, "south"?

South.What fucking way am I going? U-turn.What?U-turn.

You can't U-turn here. OK, listen, it's heading back n-

Say fucking north, and I'll fucking smash your head in.But it is north.

Where am I going? OK, fine. Fine. Left.

Left. West. West.

-There's the little bollocks. -Here he is. Got him.

The little shit. Oh.

Just some little kid. I'm gonna photograph him.

I have never seen him before in my life.

We'll just follow him, anyway, see where he goes.

He went in there.

Curtis Plum?

Oh, my God!

Who are you? Valerie Vine.

Have you been drone stalking me, love?

Drone stalking? No, it was him behind ya.

W-Well, I did... I did it for you.

Oh... you'd better come in.

He's a good lad, honestly. Don't be cross with him.

Now, I told him the other night that I desperately wanted to find ya,

but I'd heard you were living off-grid,

heard you didn't use tech, uncontactable, since your...

..Breakdown. It was an epiphany!

Right, yeah. Right.Sorry.

Sorry. You thought the best way to contact a man

that had had a breakdown was to stalk him with a drone?

It was an epiphany!

I wanted to gauge his movements. See if he were back in society.

Oh, yeah, he's been back for ages. He's a ratcatcher.Ratcatcher?

Yeah, you know, like in a zen way. Not... Not for financial gain.

Try telling that to HMRC. Mm.

What do you want him for, anyway? Well...

back in the day, Curtis was this...

Remember Everything Starts With An E?

It were this rave night, warehouses,

all super illegal and exciting. Well, Curtis was the main DJ.

Anyway, me and me husband, Vernon,

well, we met at this night

that Curtis and a couple of the others started.

We fell in love to the tunes he played:

Frankie Knuckles, Sleezy D, Mister Fingers...

You making this shit up? His raves were our life.

The highs were like... like nothing we'd ever known.

It were a wicked time! It was, Val.

It was but a... long time ago.

What's that gotta do with me now?

It's my Vernon. He's not well, Curtis.

Actually, let's... let's cut the crap. He's dying.

Stage four.

They're giving him two years at the outside...

Jeez, I'm so sorry to hear that, Val.

And before he passes,

I want us to have one last rave together,

like it used to be: some big warehouse,

all the old tunes playing,

and YOU up there on the decks...

taking us to heaven and back. Listen, Val, I'm, uh...

very touched... honestly, I am, uh...

That life, it wasn't... it weren't good for me.

Please, Curtis.

Those nights were, um... they were everything to us.

For Vernon.

One last rave for a dying man.

Not... Not that picture, this is..

The times were the times. Mm.

They can't be recreated... Yeah, why not?

Your fucking generation'll never understand

cos it was pre-internet; it was pre-mobile.

We weren't just partying for the sake of it,

we were fucking sticking it up to the establishment.

You've gotta remember the time as well.

We'd got mass unemployment. We'd got crime.

We'd got fucking BNP marches everywhere.

And the fucking youth... the youth, they had nowt, they had nothing.

Yeah, but how is that different to now?

Mm. Yeah.

Y'know, I was just starting to get known as a DJ...

'..when acid house arrived on the scene,

and this fucking pill everyone were calling empathy.'

Then, they changed the name to the more appropriate: ecstasy.

Oh, fuck, that's a good fact, man.

And it just fucking exploded.

And you should've seen the fucking numbers...

the energy, the unity...

There was fucking sweat just pouring down the walls.That's not nice.

People were just hugging and dancing.

It was this fucking togetherness. The cops fucking hated us.

They wouldn't let us operate in any of the clubs in town.

So we thought we needed somewhere bigger.

There where all these derelict mills, just sat, empty.

What, so you just broke in and put on a night?

We'd make sound systems that could be dismantled.

We rigged up lights. We draped a load of mad images.

We'd only reveal the venue at the very last minute.

They would flock in the thousands.

There was THOUSANDS of people.

And the cops? No idea!

Nowt could compare. Special time and place that won't return.

Can you not do it for Val and Vern? Just make it an event.

Everything Starts With An E is back!

That's ace.Eh? All the old ravers'll love it.

They just wanna relive the past.

New ravers'll come. Cos they wanna experience what it was like.

And we can, uh... create a bit of buzz online, maybe keep the venue a secret.

Ally's right. The people want this, dude.

Come on, Curtis. Gotta give it a go, haven't we?

Well, I tell you, it's either that, or you've gotta go and tell Val no.

And Val'll be very sad.

Set You Free #

# Set you free...

No. No.

No. Oh, for...

No.

# Oh, yeah

# When we touch each othe-e-e-er

# In a state of ecstasy... DJ booth up there.

Drapes down the sides.

Chill out room there.

And mad fucking rave in here.

But there is a problem. Why, what is it?

I didn't create this magic on my own.

And I can't do it again without me old mate, Matty Ravenscroft.

Or, as everyone knew him... the Wizard of E.

You couldn't have fucking realised this before now, no?!

Matty was my maestro.

I was the orchestra, creating the soundtrack,

but he was down there on the dance floor.

You know, like a fucking oracle. He had this... goatee, right,

and sunglasses, pill box hat,

Aladdin slippers turned up at the toes,

and big, baggy, fucking silk trousers and a whistle round his neck.

Sounds like a dickhead.

And he would blow that whistle like the pied piper of acid.

And how do you know were gonna find him on Hawley Market?I don't.

But me old mate Kenny Rogers - don't take the piss.

These guys don't know who Kenny Rogers is, do ya?

We don't know who he is. Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton. You know Dolly Parton?

Yes! We know who Dolly Parton is.

My friend Joe went on the Dolly Parton diet.

It made Joe lean. Hey!Hey!

That's alright, Mike. Good one. Fucking good one.

Finally! Anyway, Kenny Rogers, yeah?

Yeah. Well, anyway, he's got a stall on the market.

Uh-huh.He sells old vinyl and band memorabilia,

and, you know, proper old school.

He kept in touch with the gang, even did a family tree of E.

So if anyone knows where Matty is...

it's Kenny.

Hey! Curtis Plum...

'fuck my bum'. Yeah.When did I last see you?

Twenty years, Ken, gotta be. Twenty years?!Yeah.

Hey, word has it you had a nervous breakdown.

No, I had an epiphany, brother.

Just wanted to, y'know, change my life.

Comes to us all, muchacho.Right. Can't keep that life going forever. Catches up with ya.

Now then, old school ravers, how's it all going, the reunion?Good.

Are these your friends? I'm Vin. This is the gang.

We're putting on one of these bloody rave things. Have ya told him?

Yeah.You must be looking for Matty Ravenscroft?

Correct. Do you know where he is?

Mystery of Matty has become something of legend.

Some said he'd disappeared to Thailand, become a Guru.

If you wanna reach him, he was only accessible by river.

Truth is sadly more tragic. All the pills sent his mind west.

And he retreated. The word is, for a time, he was living with his sister, Shit Sue.

He lives with his sister and her dog?No. His sister's called Shit Sue.

Back then, we knew two Sues: Good Sue and Shit Sue.

She lives on the Marinduque Estate. Not sure what number. Oh...

but someone sent me a photo of her house on WhatsApp.

And trust me, you can't miss it! Uff!

Well, I thought the toffs called us the parasite class.

Yeah. They do; the others call the elite the parasites

cos, y'know, they steal wealth and power from the proletariat.

Neek. I can fucking hear ya.

Shall we go and see if this fucker knows where her bloody brother is?

Sue... Curtis... remember me?

Curtis Plum? Very same.

Thought you had a breakdown. I, uh...And who are these freaks?

Uh... They... They're me friends. We're looking for Matty.

Oh, are you now? And why would you be after my Matthew?

Uh... Y'know, just catch up, old times...

You see that?

They've been spraying again.

Come on.

They release chemicals from the planes.

It's to manipulate the weather. Cloud-seeding. Operation Cumulus.

They want us to believe global warming's a thing.

They want to keep us scared.

First, it was terrorism, then COVID. And now, it's the planet burning up.

And it's all mapped out. It's amazing.

It's a lot of stuff to map out. You know everything they tell ya on the news is a lie?

Because all of the secret media organisations are in the pockets of the government.

And all the governments are in the pocket of their secret leaders.

And those secret leaders are secretly injecting themselves

with the blood of young children to boost their energy, health and vitality.

But ask yourselves this:

what do they do with the bodies of those children...

once they've soaked their blood? God!

Is it any wonder that there are so many kids

going missing in this world? And nobody is talking about it!

There's biscuits in the tin if anybody wants any.

Sick.

So, Matty, uh... Sue...

Probably listening in to this, so we haven't got long.

He was too radical, Curtis,

cos his brain was like a super computer,

and they didn't want him starting a revolution.

With the, um... the parasite class?

Yes, exactly. Mm-hm.

We had people bugging the phones, y'know?

And then, one day, poof. He disappeared.

Sorry, Susan, you don't have Jammy Dodgers?

There's some pink wafers in there. Tell us what happened, love?

The state... grabbed him

and God knows what they've done to him, the twisted bastards.

They've probably tortured him, removed his brain,

see if they could harness some of his genius.

Either that, or they've probably put him

in one of their secret prisons for dissidents and radicals.

Right.Right. Yeah.Right.

Pump Up The Volume #

# That's right, this is gonna be The greatest record of the year...

So go on, what do you think of that? You know what?

Maybe she's right, you know?

I mean, Matty was a radical in his way, y'know?

He did have the power to inspire. He did make people think differently.

Yeah, but he weren't snatched by the fucking state, though, was he,

and bloody lobotomised? It's madness.It is.

Psst.

Who does a 'psst'? Psst.

Are you looking for Uncle Matty? Yeah.

Mam talks a load of crap.

He left because he couldn't stand her.

This is years back.

He'd met an old crush on Facebook - Angie Rose -

and then went to go live with her in Goa.

Angie Rose? Goa, that's in India, innit?

Last I heard.

Right, cheers for that.

Angie Rose, do you know her? Know her?

Oh, yeah, I know her. X-TIMESTAMP-MAP=LOCAL:00:00:00.000,MPEGTS:0

Angie was my first love.

She was a female bouncer before it was fashionable.

Strong she was. She could really throw me around.

She had strong thighs.

When she had me clamped between them, it was like entering a tunnel of bliss.

Right, we're getting quite close to the line of too much information.

No, seriously, she was gifted.

Soft and sensual, but powerful.

And domineering.

And he's crossed it. Angie Rose, was it?

She took some cash off a gangster, so she'd turn a blind eye to his boys

selling drugs in the club where she worked.

A few weeks later, another gang comes in,

asking the same thing, but she tells them the score.

And they leave, extremely displeased.

Why, what happened? Well, it was just a normal Friday.

Angie had been at the gym.

She come and picked me up so we could drive home.

Getting out of the car, and suddenly, we hear the screech of tyres.

And there's a Ford Escort comes sharking towards us.

And then, I see a gun coming out the window.

Angie's like, 'We need to make a run for it.

They're gonna come back for us!'

Then, I heard it...

W-Was she OK? Mm.

She got hit in the leg.

Hospital saved her, just.

Well, thank God for that.It was the start of the end, then, you know?

This beautiful utopia had been turned into guns and gangs.

You know what? This... This is not gonna work out, all this.

What?

I'm gonna bell up that Val, and I'm gonna tell her.

I'm gonna tell her to find someone else. But Curtis, I think I've found her.

Looks like she got married last year. Look.Let's see.

This is Angie, right? So beautiful.

Hang on, that's not Matty, the groom.

Well, who's that then? I have no idea.

Oh, my God!

Ha.

The priest! The priest is Matty Ravenscroft.

Ah.Thank you.

Zorba The Greek #

Can I help you?

I very much hope so.

I am looking for a particular cheese.

Well, you've come to the right place.

Do you happen to have a Pant-Ys-Gawn?

Uh... I'm afraid not, no. Shame.

What about a Timberdoodle?

Uh... No. Ticklemore?

No. No, sorry...

Dirt Lover? Nope.

How about a Stinking Bishop?

THAT... I think we do have, actually.

Just wait there, I'll go and check.Marvellous.

Take your time, sweetheart.

It's for a very special friend.

A big cheese, you might say.

Honestly, you're such a fucking idiot.

Why didn't you lock the van? I did. You didn't fucking lock it!

Oh, fuck off. If you hadn't got drunk with fucking Ashley in the first place.Fuck off.

You making that sound like an accusation, that is wild.

All our shit was in there, Fay!

Ally, your negativity is really bowling me out right now.

Oh, fuck off. You're being ridiculous, fuck off.

Oh, fucking perfect!

Just when you think the day couldn't get any worse.

Is there something wrong? Yes, something's fucking wrong!

Perceptive as ever. You the new girlfriend, then?

Yeah.

Hm. Lesbians.

Yeah. Hm.

What? No, it... it's just that...

..I don't get it with lesbians. I mean...

it's like vegetarians, innit, y'know?

Saying that they don't want meat,

and then, stuffing fucking mung bean Moussaka or...

or... or fucking beetroot bangers into themselves.

And all they should be doing is noshing down on some proper meat.

What the fuck you on about?

It's strap-ons. A bit of a contradiction, isn't it?

Oh, my God, what is wrong with you? Is this your dad?

Yeah, I don't mind. I mean...

the sight of, uh... two women getting it on together-

Oh, my God! Oh, my fucking God! ..is a... it's a beautiful thing.

Hey, not me own daughter. Oh, no, no, can't think about that. No.

OTHER women. But not the butch ones.

Just nice ladies. Will you shut the fuck up?

What the fuck are we gonna do, Fay?! We're fucking homeless!

I don't fucking know!Any bright ideas to bring to the table?

What do you mean you're homeless?

Our fucking van has been nicked. Everything's gone.Fuck!

Well... come and stay at mine.

Uh... Yours?

What, at the farm?

Y'know, until you get yourselves sorted.

You can show your intended where you grew up.

It'll be nice.

I'd Rather Go Blind #

Right, here we are.

# Something told me...

# It was o-o-o-over...

Same old shithole then.

# When I saw you and her talking...

'Ey...

..this used to be her bedroom.

Still got some of her old schoolbooks in there.

She was smart...

before she got involved with toe rags and no marks.

No offence. Yeah, no. None taken.

Right, well, you know where everything is,

more or less, so, uh... make yourselves at home.

Oh, and if you're gonna have any rumpy-pumpy,

keep the noise down.

Hey, same goes with me, if I bring back a lady friend.

Lady friend? Yeah, or fucking porn, or whatever.

You know what I'm saying. God.

Fuck me.

Fucking hell.

I hated this place.

It's that smell. It just brings it back, y'know?

And my mum...

..she had this, like, sadness hanging over her.

Yeah, probably cos she was married to him.

Yeah, probably.

Look, it's just for a few days, alright?

Until we find somewhere else.

It does smell weird in here. Yeah, I know.

It smells really bad.

-Everything Starts With An E. -Despite being posted anonymously,

we've managed to trace the original IP address.

You might be surprised who it belongs to.

Hm.

What my daughter does is her business.

And even if I knew anything about her activities,

or where she's living, which I DON'T,

I wouldn't fucking tell you two cunts.

You must be proud of how she's turned out, your Alison...

hanging around with scum like Vinnie O'Neill,

getting involved with illegal activities.No, I'm not happy.

But there's one way it could have been worse.

She could have been a fucking piggy. Oink, oink.

Now, fuck off!

I'm hearing on the grapevine

that you had a little visit from Curtis Plum, who,

for reasons best known to himself,

has been hanging out with these two losers.

Who's told you that?

Oops.

It was only Tiffany's Greatest Hits; it deserves snapping.

Oh, hello, what's this section, Kenny? Rare and Collectible.

What about... Pink Floyd's Dark Side Of The Moon?

On pink vinyl.

Breaking that'd be a crime. I'm hearing noises...

about an illegal rave, Ken...

possibly Vincent O'Neill and his gang of scroaty friends involved.

I'm not a grass, Mr Slater.

Oh, fuck me dick hole. Fine.

I'll tell you what I fucking know.

So I did a facial recognition search,

and... bingo.

Let's have a look. Look at that bloody moustache. What's his name there?

He's changed it to... Reverend Raabta?

He's at a church 40 miles away.

Are you sure that's him, dude? Definitely him.

Yeah, but he doesn't look like a fucking E wizard-It's him!

Oh, Matty Ravenscroft, a priest.

Fucking mind blowing. Uff!I need a drink.

Come on Vin, for Val and Vern, we gotta make it happen.I know.

We've just gotta keep bloody preparations up, don't we?

Fucking lights, a generator.

You know who gonna have that kind of shit. Fucking Chinese Dan.Oh.

I'm not going seeing that Chinese cunt, not for a minute.

No. You can't say that. Wait 'till you see him.

Hey, I'll tell you summat else, you can take this fucker with ya.

Always gets lippy on the price, he'll screw us over. Fuck that.

I'm not going with that fucking NPC.

No fucking- NPC?Yeah.

Would an NPC do that? You fucking zoomer.

Ooh, stinger.

Yes?It's us. We're here to see Chinese Dan.

Who's "us"? The people that you can see.

I know you. But we've tightened security,

so I'm gonna need names. Tightened security?

On your warehouse that sells knock off gear?Don.

Don Key. Mick.

That wasn't hard, was it?

Don Key? Yeah.

Fine.

Calvin says that you're in the market for a large generator.Yeah.

Biggest you can lay your hands on. Oh, I can get my hands on a big one.

Now, why would you be wanting one of them?

What business is that of yours? I'll tell you

what business it is of mine, person I've never met before in my life,

I don't let my stock leave here and be used for criminal enterprises.

Look, it's for a huge rave night.Yeah. For a couple that fell in love raving,

and... and the bloke's dying.

Oh, so it's like a love request, like.

Y'know, you should have said. I used to be a raver.

What? When?

# Techno, techno, techno Give it to me now

# Techno, techno, techno Pump it, pump it, pump it

# Techno, techno, techno Pump me up, pump me up

# Techno, techno...

# Bumbaclot #

Good God.

Uh... Yeah, so we need a generator, and some lights, and, uh...

how much do you want for them speakers?

Hey, they're good speakers, them. Shall we say three grand all in?

Three grand. You can fuck off. Alright two-five,

but that's me going out on a limb. Grand. Final offer.

Grand? Yeah.

Why don't you take this shirt, too?

Take it off me back. Go on, you might as well have it.

That's what you want. And I'll tell you what else you can have as well.

Why won't you have this lovely vest? Fucking hell.Just leave it on.

Go on. That's what you're asking for: everything I've got.

Just pay him. His fucking belly button's about to swallow me.Right, listen.

Generator, them lights over there, speakers. Two grand, alright?

Two grand? Why don't you just take my fucking trousers...

Just pay him, JJ! ..from my legs?

Make him stop! Make him stop! Just fucking pay him, JJ!

Sexy Boy #

# Sexy boy... #

Hello, gorgeous.

Hm... ..can you smell that?

That is a Dorset Blue Vinny.

Oh, it's a hard, crumbly cheese with blue veins.

Which I thought was quite appropriate,

given our mutual friend, Vincent. Hm?

Now, you listen here, Joey.

If you don't you play ball,

it could be the last smell that you ever smell.

No, ah, ah, ah.

I do not take death threats lightly.

Nor do I like suspicious summonings to car parks.

So here's my offer to you, right?

You either work with me, or you work against me. Capiche!

You little fuck!

Bent me... ..fucking nose!

That's it, you run, run, run, little Davey,

to whatever hovel you came from.

Cos when I find you, I'm gonna turn you,

and everything you treasure,

into FUCKING FONDUE-UE-UE-UE! X-TIMESTAMP-MAP=LOCAL:00:00:00.000,MPEGTS:0

into FUCKING FONDUE-UE-UE-UE!

In The Grace Of Your Love #

# In the grace of your love

# You don't turn me away

# In the grace of your love...

Did you hear any of that? No, brother.

Good. # In the grace of your love

# Every day, when I wake up...

Forgive me father, for I have sinned.

I've taken a lot of drugs.

I've had sex with a lot of women.

And I've not always been faithful.

And I've encouraged people...

down a path of hedonism and debauchery.

But I did it all...

with the best human being I have ever known.

Curtis?

Curtis Plum? Matthew Ravenscroft.

Oh, my God.

Song Of Life #

State of ya.

What happened to the Wizard?

Me and Angie were good together for a while in Goa.

We'd travelled a bit, but...

we tried to keep up with the alternative lifestyle, you know?

Plenty of skunk, plenty of uppers...

downers, you name it.

But we weren't getting any younger,

and the people we were partying with,

they ended up looking like our children.

Y'know...

things move on without you realising.Mm.

Eventually, me and Angie, we broke up.

It wasn't acrimonious. It had just run its course, but...

I-I-I was in a terrible place.

Bad comedown.

Paranoid.

A-And I... I'm sat at the side of this dusty road...

..and this car pulls opposite,

stops outside this crappy store to get some drinks.

The window's open...

..and I hear this song; it's Save A Prayer by Duran Duran.

Save A Prayer # Save A Prayer?

Yeah. And it got me thinking about me dad

and how religious he was, and how I pushed all that aside.

And then... like a rush...

..like a kind of, um... Epiphany?

Exactly.

Yeah. ..it hit me.

In that moment, I knew I had to give myself to God.Wow.

And first word I saw after thinking this was "Raabta"...

..which means "soulful."

That's why I changed me name.

Mate, you... you had 'rave' in your surname.

Listen, there's this couple,

Val and Vernon, and, uh...

..Vernon's dying.

And they fell in love because of us back in the day,

so I've agreed to put one last rave on for 'em.

I want you by me side.

I'm not the Wizard anymore, Curtis.

You are. Yes, you are because it's inside ya.

What we did weren't so different.

It was spiritual. We lifted 'em up. We showed 'em God.

It was all chemicals. It faded.

Jesus turned water into wine, brother.

Just cos you're altered, it doesn't mean them feelings aren't real.

People fell in love.

They saw a different way of being, and...

maybe that stayed with 'em.

Anthem #

Everyone...

I want you put your motherfucking hands together.

And let me introduce you to a very, very special friend of mine.

Please welcome the Wizard of E.

You Should Be... #

# Dancing, dancing

# Dancing

# Dancing

# Dancing-ancing, dancing...

# Dan-Dan-Dan-Dancing D-D-D-D-Dancing

# Dancing, yeah

# Dancing, yeah

# Dancing #

Nobody move. Stop what you're doing!

This is a raid. Stay exactly where you are.

The fuck do you lot want? You're fucking ruining it.

This is illegal entry, and I have it on good authority

that there's an unlicensed event taking place

at this venue this very evening.

And where've you heard that? Kenny Rogers told me.

Fucking Kenny Rogers. Wait till I see him.

Seize the gear, team. Secure the building.

There'll be no rave happening here.

OFFICERS:Yeah, check it, will ya? All clear in here, Sarge.

-Cunt. -Keep going. Right you are.

Nice shoes. Hey, uh...

wait until your bishop hears about this.

I shall pray for you.

Mm. Alright, Ali Bongo. Off you fuck to your pantomime.

Only You #

# Looking from a window above

# It's like a story of love

# Can you hear me?

# Came back only yesterday

# I'm moving farther away...

# All I needed was the love you gave

# All I needed for another day... I'm going!

# And all I ever knew... No, no!

# Only you

# Sometimes, when I think of her name

# When it's only a game

# And I need you

# Listen to the words that you say

# It's getting harder to stay

# When I see you

# All I needed was the love you gave

# All I needed for another day

# And all I ever knew... #

Wake up! Wake the fuck up!

All I wanted was a fucking good dad,

happy parents and a happy family; is that too much to ask?!

Fucking... selfish... pointless old cunt!

What the fuck...

Alison... No.

You think you know everything...

because you're a grown woman. Fuck off.

Your mother... she had anxiety.

Crippling anxiety, and paranoia.

Could barely get through the fucking day.

You were little. You didn't understand.

So, yeah, I drank.

And, yeah, I flirted with other woman...

..because... fucking being out there...

..was fucking better than being in here with her.

You had two kids. Didn't WE make you happy?

'Course you did. You know, I don't remember ONCE

you fucking reading me a bedtime story,

not ONCE you picking me up from school.

I don't have ONE SINGLE memory of you showing me that you loved me

and that you wanted me and that you cared for me,

like a father should do to his fucking daughter.

That's not true.

I've always been proud of you.

I used to tell people down the pub

how clever you were.

Used to fucking have you on the tractor...

..sat on my knee, and you... and you'd be giggling.

But you've forgotten that because SHE poisoned you against me.

That's a load of fucking crap. It's BULLSHIT.

And do you know how I know that? Because I fucking wrote it down!

I used to write stories. I know you did.

And there's one up there - The fucking Lonely Lion -

in that fucking dusty, old fucking bedroom.

And I got a fucking A star! An A star on it!

Do you know why it was so good? Because the lonely lion -

who was fucking tougher than anyone else in the fucking jungle

but broken inside - it was about ME, wasn't it?!

I wrote it about fucking ME.

I'm sorry.

Really sorry.

I know I've never been any good at this.

Go inside.Alison... No, I'm serious. Just fuck off.

You're too old for this shit. You'll catch your death.

Ally?!

-Fools Gold # -Fucked is what we are!

We've got no lights. We've got no bloody generator. We've got no fucking decks. Gone!

This is fucking Carl Slater, this, to a shagging tee. Fuck me.

Are we sure that he shags dogs? Fucking Poodles is what he bums.

Why would you choose poodles?

No, no. No, no, I wouldn't bum any dog.

But if I did, it certainly wouldn't be a fucking poodle.

They don't even have nice faces. God, dude.Oh, my God!

Which dog would you choose, then?

I wouldn't bum any dog. No, if you had to.

I wouldn't bum any dog. No, if you HAD to.

Red setter.

Straight in with Red Setter. Sicko.

Right, who's telling Val and Vernon, then?

We can't tell a dying man we've fucked up his love request.

It's terrible. You won't have to.

Carl Slater might have the law on his side,

but I have a much bigger man in my corner.

'Those who stand firm during testing are blessed'.

Cops used to try and thwart us all the time back in the '80s.

And when they did...

..we had to find another way. Yeah.

I know a venue.

The rest is down to you guys.

Amen! Hallelujah. The Wizard!

-No Clause 28 # -The aim of this government

is to make everyone as miserable as possible.

# How deep is your love? How deep?

# How deep is your love?

# How deep is your love?

# How deep is your love?...

# How deep is your love, yeah?...

You fucked us in the arse, Kenny.

And not in a good way.

Right, go on, what's the crack, then?

People are coming in big number.Fuck.

They're heading in the direction they've been told.Any police?

Not yet.Oh, my God, dude, that's fucking sick! Come on!

Infinity #

Hey, how's it going? 'Yeah, good. You alright?'

Venue looks sick.

I think it's almost ready. You can release the location.

Are you sure? 'Yeah, hundred percent.'

Ooh, come 'ed.

Buzzing man.

Chime #

'Hello?'Sorry to interrupt your home time, sir,

but... have you seen the email I sent ya?'Email? What email?'

'Kenny Rogers has sent us intel. The rave's back on.'

Fuck.

Fucking... Are you in the bath, sir?

Assemble a fucking team!

# FRANKIE KNUCKLES Your Love #

'Be there in two minutes. Over.'

'Once we're there, get ready to stand by.'

'Right then, let's move!'

I think we've been misinformed, sir. Oh, you fucking think.

I'm going back to that twat, Rogers,

and I'm gonna smash every single piece of vinyl

that I can get my hands on.

Sweet Harmony #

Hey...

I love you so much, Vern. I love you.

Hey, fat head. Carpe diem, Christopher.

Abso-fucking-lutely.

Come here.

Ah, you're not so bad, you sad old cunt.

Is this cos you're off your face?

No, it's cos you're my dad.

But, yeah, I am off my face.

# In sweet harmony, in sweet harmony

# In sweet harmony, in sweet harmony

# In sweet harmony, in sweet harmony

# In sweet harmony In sweet harmony #

I want someone dead. I can get you a bloke who'll pretend; he's cheap, amenable.

No, somebody ALREADY dead.

Where's the body? Coroners.

Right, hold on to your hats! Woah!Fuck!

If we'll have any chance walking a dead body

down a main street, it's Halloween.

Right... I better get you home.

Oh, he's got the wrong fucking mummy!

Jim is drunk-driving with a stolen corpse!

Fuck off!

Any questions?

So Much Trouble In My Mind #

# I got so much trouble in my mind

# Give me the strength to carry on

# Give me the strength to carry on

# Cos everything I got Is just about gone

# And I think about it

# I think about it #

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