Original subtitles

This programme contains frequent very strong language from the outset

and adult humour.

The Next Episode #

'The thing about life...

..you've got to grab it by the fucking balls.

At the end of the day, there's two types of people in this world.

There's the fucking losers.

And there's the fucking winners.

And Ronnie Croft...

..Ronnie Croft is a fucking winner.'

Satisfied?

Oh, I won't be satisfied until you...

take me, right here, right now.

Wake up!

Wake up!

I said wake up!

Get your things. You're going home, you loser.

Money #

# The best things in life Are free... #

You filthy deviants - who's ready to party like it's 2006?

2006? Fuck off! Is that how long ago we were at school?

Yeah. We're old, mate. We're very old.

Tommo, why do you need a business card?Jesus fucking Christ.

Have you not noticed, we're balls deep in a fucking rebrand, love.

Have you not seen your mother? She's a Bavarian beer wench. Look.

Come on, give us a jiggle. Lovely. Too much jiggle.

Now that Ernst is a secret investor.

I've had to German the place up a bit, ain't I?

Bring in new faces through the door, crucially,

because I don't want to remind you, but er...

I am the man voted most likely to be a millionaire in Year 11.

And the man that shat himself in Year 8.

Shut up and have your shots. Yes!

Cheers! Slainte, to your health.

Oh, my God, I'm so excited!

You didn't even go to our school.

Yeah, well, a night out's a night out, innit! Hey, is Vin not coming?

No, it's too painful, you know, going back without Dylan.Yeah.

JJ! Mm.

What's wrong with you?Sonny's ill, so I was just up all night.

Listen, are you sure you just don't wanna go on your own?

This is the first night out we've had in ages. You promised me a good night!

Yeah, J, stop your whining and get a bratwurst down your mouth!

Got yourself a semi. Oh!

Oh, no, no, no, no.Fuck me. Fuck thee right off out of it!

No, have you told him we're here? No, it wasn't me.

Why didn't you tell me that you was in town.

Because why would I? Why would she?

You wouldn't. You wouldn't. Do you know what?

I'll just be happy to accept my bag of gifts,

and I'll be on my fucking way, OK?

What are you on about? Come on, Erin.

It's Ronnie Croft's 39th voyage around the sun.

Yeah, it's Ronnie Croft's birthday today.

So me and you, why don't we go out, we'll have a nice little dance,

we'll paint the town blue - come on.

Fine. Fine. No. Erin.

It's his birthday.A key component of going back to your old school...

and proving to everyone that you are in fact now a very, very big dog...

is to not bring a...

..cunt... like Ronnie Croft with yer.

Whoa, wait. What do you mean you're going back to school?

Why you going back to school? It's a school reunion.

Right, technically, he did go to that school,

so he is allowed to go.

I'd just rather he didn't. Erin!

But listen to me now, right -

you do not embarrass me tonight.

When have I ever embarrassed you?

Heart Of Glass

Has it always been this shit? What is that smell?

That, Ashley, is Tippex and semen - the scent of youth.

Let's. Get. Smashed! Come on, JJ! What? Sugar.

Come on!

Hey, that's... Hello.

Ashley Dennings, as I live and breathe.

Or should I say Hawley's answer to Marlon Brando?

Mrs Waif.

My old drama teacher.

How art thou?

Come on, let's have a drink. Come on.All right.

And when your pastry...

is all golden and tight over your meat,

reach in and slide her out of the oven.

Sickness! Fuck me.

Vincent. Whoa, yer fuck...!

Fucking hell! Christ.

Amish Fagin. That was really fucking unkind.

I mean, what am I fucking gonna do now, there?

Well, you pick it up, and you eat it.

The world is on fire, Vincent.

Humanity has gone to shit.

And we don't need you wasting good pies, now, do we?No.

Now, be a good boy, and grab us a couple of forks.

There's been a development with Kittens.

Move Your Feet #

So after the buyout, me and the wife decided to up sticks -

half our time here, half our time in New York.

Oh, yes, New York. I'm er... I'm always over there

Really? Which bit?

Just er...everywhere.

What about business? Not still flogging gobstoppers?

Oh, no.

I'm a long way past confectionary now, sweetheart. Yes.

I actually own the Rat And Cutter in town. Yeah. Yeah.

Also I recently acquired a gastro establishment.

Right, who wants another bratwurst?

Big plans.

I think about your performance in Evita once a week.

Those thighs really did tell a thousand words.

Tell me you still perform? Oh, well.

I've been developing a YouTube personality...YouTube?

Yeah. With thighs like those...

..that body was destined to be in a leotard,

on a stage, Ashley.

Tommo. Tommo! What, what?

Is that Bruno Hodge? Ohh...

Remember the nutter that set fire to all those bins?Mm. Oh.

Smile, Erin. You don't want him to hang rats outside your house.

Hello, Bruno! You all right?

No. Come on.

So that's like actual fruit, yeah? That's all right, innit?

What you saying, lad? Fucking hell.

Ah!Ronnie!

Fuck, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Fuck sake.

I weren't nicking anything. I wanted to put...

No. No. No. No. I don't give a shit. I don't give a fuck.

There's nowt here, anyway. Just a...

packet of ciggies and a book on overcoming intrusive thoughts.

You're Declan Duggan, aren't you? You what?

Declan Duggan.

Harper Long. We used to sit next to each other in food technology.

No, I'm Declan D... Yeah. That's me. Yeah.

I er... I heard you're really successful now.

Hedge fund manager or summat? I'm a hedge fund manager, yeah.

There's just hedges all over the gaff. I trim 'em, I water them.

I kind of just like tend to them et cetera, and so on, basically.

That's really impressive. Thank you very much.

I love a man who can manage a good hedge.

Oh, my fucking God.

This is suddenly the best birthday of all time.

Meet me in the science lab, ten minutes.

Fucking hell.

He's deigned...

to offer a peace meeting, tomorrow, 7pm,

eighth floor of the JSB car park in Manchester.

A car park?

Well, what did you expect, sweetheart?

Patricia's Patisserie?

She charges extra for oat milk.

All I'm saying is a car park...

it doesn't feel peace-ish.

It feels a little bit... It feels a bit stabby.

Exactly.

Which is why I need you to drive me there.No!

Besides, that is only the first half of my plan.

What's the second half?

Just in case Miss Kittens decides to do something stupid...

..you're my back-up.

Oh, fuck! Now...

No, dude. Christ on a fucking bike.

No! I am Zen now, all right?

Crystals and stupid shit like that. Zen.

Zen. Look, green tea.

You owe me, Vincent, you owe me!

Do you remember?

I did not save your life just for you to be ungrateful.

Now, I'll be back tomorrow afternoon.

Just make sure that you're ready to go.Mm.

So what about Mrs Longworth - is she still here?Yeah.

She's dead too. Ah.

They're all dead now. Mr Altbury.

Mr Jackson. Mr Trealty.

At least you're not dead!

Oh, I... I'm waiting on some test results.

Oh, God.

Talking about death, I...

I was sorry to hear about Dylan's passing.Aw.

Thank you. That's kind. I actually have something of his.

If you want to see.

He mapped out every major star and comet

and where they would be seen from Earth.Oh.

He spent nearly every afternoon of Year 11 working on it.

Oh, so that's where he spent most of his time that year, then?

Yeah, I feel bad for starting that rumour he was shagging the librarian.

You started it?! Yeah.

Angela had a disciplinary hearing.

She's still got it on her record!

Oh. Sorry. Sorry.

Ah, that is special.

We submitted his chart to the...

National Astronomy Society competition.

And he won. Got a star named after him!Aw.

The Dylan Golding star. Hidden talents.

You should have all of this, as the people closest to him.

Remind yourselves just how bright that boy was.

Thank you. Thanks, yeah.

Aw.

Oh, yes. Well, he really was a wonderful artist.

Hm.

Detailed. Yeah, detailed, yeah. Bulbous.

Oh, yeah. Thats it! Oh, my God!

Fuck!Who's your daddy? Who's your boss?!

Yeah! Hit me.Yeah. What?

Fucking hit me. Hit yer?Slap me.

Yeah. Yeah. Harder.

Grab my balls. Grab my balls. Harder! Fuck!

Ooh, fucking hell! Have you got three hands?

His dancing is so bad it's making me feel nauseous.

Literally nauseous, like... Ohh.

This is the best night of my life! Honestly, Sugar.

Having that baby has seriously distorted your concept of fun.

JJ! Let's do shots! No.

Come on! Shots! She's like a fucking machine.

Oh, oh. Drama teacher, eleven o'clock.

Quarter past eleven. Brace yourself.Yeah.

Half eleven. Yeah, I've got it, Erin.Ashley.

You'll never believe what's happened.

Mr Gibbons, my duet partner,

has been involved in a pile-up on the M60!

I don't know what I'm gonna do.

We practised all week.

Mrs Waif...fret not.

The show will go on.

Really? Show me my mark!

OK. This way. Thank you.

Go on, Ashley.

That woman is an apex predator.

Oh, my God.

Apparently, he bummed a dog. Yeah, he bums poodles. Yeah.

Poodles. I kind of get it with the poodles.Do yer?

Yeah.You think it's, like, the curly hair and that?

Oi, oi! It is you!

It's Runty Ronnie! I thought that was you earlier, scurrying off!

How's it going, Runty?

It's Declan, actually. And he's way more successful than you, TJ.

You think this is Declan? No!

No, this is Ronnie fucking Croft!

Been telling porkies? Always was a little bullshitter.Fuck off...

TJ, yeah? Just fuck off.

What?! I said fuck off, TJ.

Oh, you look like you wanna hit me. I wanna hit you, yeah.

Then fight me.Yeah. Do you want to fight me, Runty?No.

Fuck off! Oh, fuck me.

Someone's had a bit too much to drink!Ronnie!

Fuck! Sorry, TJ.

Oh, you fucking c...

Oh, you fucking...

Fucking cunt!

Tough night?

Why do men have to be fucking dickheads?

TJ fucking Thompson. He's been the bane of my life.

Bullied me from fucking day one, man.

But it's not like he didn't get enough out of me

when we was at school.

He used to lock me in the fucking basement every day!

I know how you feel, pal.

I was bullied here too.

I came here tonight to confront the dickhead who made my life hell.

Fucker didn't turn up.

Waited years.

Just wanted to fight back.

Eh! That's it. That's it.

Fight back. Fucking fight back, for once.

I wanna f... Do you know what, I'd fucking kill him if I could.

I f...

But you can't, can you?

You've got a motive. Everyone'd know it was you.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, well, everyone... Yeah, of course.

Ronnie Crofty! Blame Ronnie Croft.

Maybe I should do it for you?

I was in the year above. No-one would know it was me.

Hey.

I could get TJ...

and you could get mine.

Hey, wouldn't it be good, to just fucking...win?

You know what, you're fucking right, there. You're fucking right, there.

That's it. It's about winning fucking once, innit?

It's a fucking great plan, that, you.

Class of 2006!

What a night we've had, eh!

And I've just had some good news from the hospital about Mr Gibbons.

No internal bleeding.

Woo!And stepping in for him tonight, I just want you to...

put your hands together for the most amazing...

Ashley Dennings!

Oh, fuck this.

Yeah. Bravo.

Oh, baby.

Move closer to me.

Place your chest against mine.

Feel my heart beat!

Oh, baby. I love how that belt fits.

The way it hangs so low.

So low on your hips, my darling.

I want you so.

Your body gives me such a thrill...

as it leans against mine.

I love how it feels... Oh, God!

..as you lean against mine.

# The smell of burning leather

# As we hold each other tight

# As our rivets rub together

# Flash of sparks into the night

# Darling, if you really care for me

# Let me say it now

# Don't touch me there...

# Don't touch me there

# Don't touch me there

# Don't touch me there... #

X-TIMESTAMP-MAP=LOCAL:00:00:00.000,MPEGTS:0

Yes. Yes. Yes. Morning. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. All the fucking gang's here, yeah?

No?

What? What? Oi!

What are you playing at?

Is he becoming a regular fixture now? I never agreed to that.

Oh, my God, have you heard?

Apparently, that TJ Thompson never made it home last night.

They think something's happened to him. They found a bloody trail!

You know, like a trail of blood.

I could get TJ, and you could get mine.

Fucking hell!

What you doing?! Right, do you know TJ?

He's gone fucking missing. Has he?

Yep.

What's it got to do with you

OK, I was talking with this...

fella last night, and I was saying I wanted summat bad...

to happen to TJ, like...

Right. He goes, 'I'll do that for yer.

But you've gotta do summat to some fella for me.'For me.

What are you talking about? What fella?I don't fucking know!

But I'm now thinking he's fucking done summat.

He's probably waiting for me to go and do summat for him...

in return of the expectation of fucking -No. No.

No. No. No, Ronnie, think about it.

No-one expects anything from you.

Yeah. Yeah.

You'd have to be nuts, wouldn't ya, to ask me to do summat for ya?Yeah.

Erin, you do make me feel better, like, a lot of the time.All right.

Yeah. OK, go on.

Don't worry, we weren't shagging. Right.We're just...

Stop saying weird shit like that.

Oh. Good morning, all.

I'm going to need all of you down at the station...

to discuss last night and anything you know about TJ Thompson.

Erin Croft? Yeah.Come with me.

What's going on? Just ask.

Fucking hell.

Right, I'll be... I have to sign in. Ronnie Croft.

If that's his real name.

Oh, it is. He's literally in here all the time.

Theft. Drunk and disorderly. Yeah.

Affray.Mm. Yeah. Wasn't charged, though, was I?

Fuck sake. Harper? Harper?

Oh, fuck me.

Last night, all that fucking drunken chat,

about how we wanna get TJ fucked up.

Cos I'm on, like, my final fucking warning here.

Oh, aye, yeah, of course.

OK, so we've got f...

fuck all to do with that shite?

A drunken mouth speaks a sober heart, Ronnie. We all know that.

He's still alive, just incapacitated.

For now.

I didn't have anything to do with it. This is you - a one-man show.

What about the bit where you said you'd kill him?

No - cos you're just putting words in my fucking mouth there.

'Do you know what, I'd fucking kill him if I could.'

Now what? Oh, Ronnie.

You really think I didn't make a copy?

You made a fucking copy, didn't ya? See, here's the thing.

You're gonna do your end of the bargain,

cos that's what's fair, isn't it?

I got yours, and you're gonna get mine.

I've waited a long time for my vengeance, Ronnie.

And if you don't do it, then, well,

that recording's gonna go straight into the inbox of Carl Slater.

You're a fucking psychopath.

And you're a fucking loser.

I've done you a favour.

I'm the only person to ever do anything for you.

Why do you think that is?

It's cos no-one cares about you, flower.

Closer # So, you're welcome.

Hey, you keep schtum...

..and I'll see you outside, cocker.

Fuck.

So.

Good night last night?

I'm sure I saw a bit of a row between you and TJ.

Er... No. No.

A little tiff by the punch bowl?

No. Interesting, because...

do you know what I'm thinking? Is it about bumming a dog?

I think last night, you snapped.

I think after the reunion...

..you decided to get your own back after TJ humiliated you.

No.I know you've got something to do with this.

I'm on to you, Ronnie.

Well? What do you mean...?

I didn't fucking say anything, OK?

Good boy. Smart move.

I just want this over with.

Right, OK, then. So who do you want me to get?

Vincent...O...

Neill.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Shit.

Right, are you sure you mean fucking Vinnie?

He's not a bad lad, you know? He's a fucking dick, but he's soft.

He's soft. He's like fucking heavily tattooed margarine.

You don't know what he did to me!

It was 2006.

Year 11.

JJ.

Vincent. Dylan. Quiet, please, or I will send you out.

'It was a particularly hot day, and Mrs Sklode was looking...

..sublime as always.

So I rushed to tend to myself.

When I heard a voice. The voice of an angel.'

Bruno? Are you OK?

You should be in my room right now.

Is that you, Mrs Sklode? Yes, it's me.

Oh, Bruno. You naughty boy.

You really shouldn't be doing that without my help!

'It was the most profound sexual experience I've ever had.

And it was all a lie.'

You naughty, naughty boy, Bruno, lad!

And I've been haunted by that voice ever since, Ronnie.

Just watch the road, mate. I've lost all confidence.

The few times I did get with a girl, I couldn't focus.Just -

I can't even get hard any more, Ronnie.Oh.

And it's all because of Vincent... Fuck!

..O...Neill, and the way his...

..his tongue danced on those vowels.

Now, here's what I want you to do.

I want you to film him...

wanking.

Why?

That's right, I want Vincent O'Neill with his todger out.

And let's see how he likes having his personal preferences broadcast.

Eh? Eh? Yeah.

There you are. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

What is this stinky vibe you're bringing in here?

I know this sounds ridiculous,

but I think our Ronnie is about to do something really fucking stupid.

Last night, he got talking to someone and made this drunken deal

about getting revenge on TJ Thompson.

And now TJ's missing. Exactly.Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry. Since when've we started bandying around words like revenge?

I mean, it's a bit Agatha Christie, isn't it?

It was just a drunken chat, was it not? He didn't actually do it.

Well, the deal was made with Bruno Hodge.

Ooh.I've just seen Ronnie getting into his car.

Oh, God. I think he's taken TJ as leverage.

Until Ronnie does whatever fucked-up thing Bruno wants him to do.

Right. Yes. No, I hear you.

And I very, very much am trying me best to care.Hey.

But obviously, it is Ronnie, in't it?Yes. Yes.

Tommo, it is Ronnie!

But he's still my fucking brother.

I don't want Carl Slater pinning it on him cos he's an easy target.

Yeah, OK. What do you want us to do? I think we should go Bruno's house.

We can start there and work out where Bruno's put him.

He's not bloody in.

Hello?

Hello there. This is Dawson's Plumbings And Fittings.

Your landlord's called us to say you can't access your water meter.

The thing about the water meter is that - Et voila.Well done!

OK. Avanti.Yeah.

Watch out, lads, I need a run up. Just try the handle.

Oh. Would you look at that.

There we go.

Come on.

Oh!

What the fuck?

VINNIE. Shit.

What the fuck?! Get the fuck...! Ronnie. Get the fuck out!

Unbelievable! Do you know what I'd like?

To be able to come home and not be accosted in my own fucking house!

You accosted me, fucking Kevin Accostner.

How have I fucking Kevin Accosted you if you're in my fucking cupboard?

I wandered in. I comes in.

I think, 'How's my mate Vinnie doing?'

No, you didn't. You're just so full of fucking shit. Ronnie.

Why would I be mates with a cunt like you? You're hard work. Fuck off.

I kind of wish people'd stop saying that, mate.

Cos it's fucking getting to me a little bit.

I get it. No-one fucking likes me.

Thought you were meant to be all about the mental health stuff now.

Right. All right. Fair enough. Yeah. I'm so... Yeah. I'm sorry.

There we go. Tell me what's going on?

Can I have a little film of you having a masturbate, please?What the fuck is wrong with you, dude?!

No, you can't film me having a fucking wank!Vin. Vin.

Get out, Ron.What if I just give you a little helping hand?

Weird. No, Ronnie. Dude. Take it as fucking no, dude!Vin.

Just do it. Just do it. My willy's come out, you...!

Ooh, hello, am I interrupting something?

Nothing major to be honest. Are you ready to go, Vincent?

100%. Can't wait to get out of here. OK, please.

No, weird. All of it. Disturbing. I'm not doing...

I am gonna get - Get the fuck out, dude!

Vin. Oh, fuck. He told you to get out.

So fuck off.Is he fucking about?He said fuck off.Is that a real gun?!

Yes. Fuck me.

Get your coat. It's cold out. All right.

You look well without that beard.

Wheel Of Fire # Hurry up, Vincent.

I cannot be late. Kittens will see this as a slight. Do you capiche?

Oh, shit.

Oh, no.

What's happening? Why have you stopped?

Why have you stopped? I'm gonna be late.I don't fucking know, dude.

It's making a noise.

You had one job!

One fucking job! That was the deal.

Yeah, and he fucking... He said... He said no.

He said no, Bruno, so what do you want me to do?

Force a man to have a fucking wank?

So just fucking take me to TJ now,

or I'm gonna go full-on fucking Ronnie Croft.

All right.

I'll take you to him now. I'll get in the car, then.

Respect.

There's no fucking reception.

Piss! Fuck.

What are we gonna do, sweetheart? Oh.

Oh.

Argh. It's that fat rain. Can this day get any worse?!

Oi, oi. You all right?

Do we look all right?

Well, any ideas?

Yeah. The alternator can't return power to the battery.

It's fucked.

Fucking hell.

Going to town if that helps. Mm.Well...

Listen. If you wanna make that peace meeting, we have to go with them.

Just don't breathe a word about what we're up to.

And if you need to mention Kittens, then...

say the word 'doggies'... or 'puppies'.

Puppies.Nice. Puppies. We'll do that.Are you in or out?

In.

It's terrifying.The inner workings of a bona fide fruitcake.

There's no-one here, lads. I've checked everywhere.

There's nothing here, just a load of...

creepy old bric-a-brac, but I feel off.

I feel like there's someone watching me.No, settle, petal.

All right, Ashley, look.

In the immortal words of Tiffany... 'I think we're alone now' You see?

There's no-one here. Don't worry about it. We are absolutely alone.

Everything is completely...fine.

X-TIMESTAMP-MAP=LOCAL:00:00:00.000,MPEGTS:0

So what are you two up to, then?

Oh, we got a big job.

But I can't tell you what it is yet.

Yeah, cos we don't know what it is yet.

It's for my uncle, though, and he won't disappoint.

What about you two? We are off to see a puppy.

Puppy? Oh, what kind of puppy?

One that does as it's told.

Oh, shit.Oh!

Fuck!

Get the fuck out of road! Fay, don't shout at her! She's old.

Well, just hang on.

Are we not gonna fucking stop for her?No.Come on.

Dude, it's an old lady in the middle of the road.

It's pissing it down. Vincent. I cannot be late.

It's fucking biblical! Oh, fine.

Fuck-ety fine. Pick her up. Pick the bloody damsel up.

The more the bloody merrier. Just hurry the fuck up.

Oh, for fuck's sake. This better be quick.

Thank you so much for stopping.

Hey, you're all right, love. Don't worry about it.

Listen, where are you headed? Are you going back to Hawley?Oh, no.

I'm going home to surprise my boyfriend in Manchester.

But I missed the bus. Yes.

You minx. We're going that way. We'll drop you.Really?

Really?! What about the puppies, Vincent?!

It's on the way. Yeah, well, it better be.

My uncle hates people being late.

Oh, fucking hell. What's up, cocker?

It's just the school basement.

I just did what you wanted me to do, Ronnie.

I just did what TJ used to do to you.

Or we could keep him down there?

No. No, no, no, no. We've got to erm...

We've got to go... We've got to go and get him.

You're the boss, Ronnie Croft.

Oh, fuck it.

Oi! What on earth is she doing in there? Hm?

I mean, did she expire mid-excretion?

She's old, isn't she? It just takes a bit longer, don't it?

Well, she's been at it 20 fucking minutes.

And 'en route', my arsehole.

This is making me very late for my meeting.

All right, chill out. We're late too.

Anyway, I thought you were going to see a puppy.

Yes, I am. A very important puppy.

Right, come on. We're ditching her. In the van, chop chop.

Er... No. We're not ditching her in the middle of nowhere.

Well, fetch her, then.

All right. Fucking hell.

Oh, here she is. Oh.

Hello, my dear. I do hope we're not rushing you.

Thank you so much for this.

You've all gone out of your way. Oh, no, no, not at all.

You know, you've got beautiful eyes.

I can tell there's a kind man in there.

Nobody's said that to me before.

But you're lonely, aren't you?

My brother died.

I've known grief too. But you have to let it go.

Right, well. Enough of this little interlude, hm?

We'd better get you delivered to your sweetheart.

Right. Here we are.

Let's see how he likes it.

Oh, fuck.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Shadowplay # Fucking hell!

You two need to spend some quality time together anyway.

Fuck!

# ..where all roads meet Waiting for you...

# To the depths of the ocean Where all hope sank searching for you

# I was moving through the silence Without motion... #

She does look a bit like him.

I don't fucking know, mate. All nans look the same to me.

No offence, love.

There you go, Margaret.

Oh, lovely.

Right, we best get going. Hm.Yeah.Shall we?

I don't want this flavour!

Oh, I'm sorry, that's the only flavour you've got -

Well, shit in your hands and clap them too.Argh!

Bruno? Is that you?

Where is he?Ooh. Up here.

Oh, I can see you all.

You think you can just break into my flat, do you?

Well, I tell you what. 'Bruno.'

I don't want this pea soup. Fuck.

It's full of fibre, Nan. It's good for your bowels.Yeah!

You need to pack it in. And you need to leave my brother out of this.

I was offering your brother a chance for vengeance.

All those years of being locked up in the school cupboard by TJ.

Years of being bullied and humiliated by him.

And he still doesn't want revenge. What are you on about?

What, our Ronnie was getting bullied?

Come on, it's not exactly a fucking plot twist, is it, Erin?

It's Ronnie. Ronnie! Ronnie!

Now, listen up, and listen close.

You're gonna bring Vincent O'Neill to the school.

And if I get a whiff of the police...

I'll burn the whole thing down...

with Ronnie inside.

Not ideal.No, we don't want... It's not ideal, is it?

Fucking shut up.

Help! Help! Someone help me!

Someone, please. They're not gonna fucking hear you.

And how the fuck do you know, Runty?!

What? Help!

What was that? How wouldIknow?

Because you used to fucking lock me in here every day.

Yeah, and then you went and cried about it...

to go-go-gadget fucking psychopath out there,

and now we're both gonna fucking die!

You fucking bastard!

Fuck off! You fucking c...

Bring It On Home To Me #

We are really late, Vincent. Has he text back?

Yes. Oh.

Erm... He's saying we're doing it next week.

It's probably for the best, innit?

Maybe it is, Vincent. Maybe it is.

Hm. Well, at least Mabel will get lucky tonight.

Oh, shit, look at all them.

Give me a minute.

Right.

Oh, it's your Uncle J. What?

Says job's been moved to next week.

'Same time, same car park.'

I don't know, Fay. It all just feels a bit dodgy.

No, don't worry. Listen.

My uncle's the big fucking cheese. Right?

No, honestly.Right.This'll be good for us.All right.It will.

It'll be good for us. OK?

Vinnie? We're at Sugar's. Where are you?

What the bloody hell's going on? It's Ronnie. He's in trouble.

Course he fucking... You know he's been round my gaff this morning,

trying to get me to wank off in front of him?What?

Vincent, Tommo here. What kind of wank?

What kind of fucking question is that? There's only one wank, dude.

Come on, love, there's...posh.

On your side. Exotic. Thrust. Reverse thrust.

Cat-cow - that were bigger in the '80s, that one, obviously -

frutti tutti. Malevolent. OK.

All right. Vinnie, listen, he's been set up by Bruno Hodge.

Bruno took TJ, and now he's keeping them both hostage at the school.

He's obsessed with you. It's really weird.

He wants to talk to you. Oh, that's fantastic news.

Shall I see you there, then?Oh! And your classic spit-and-polish.

Shut up, Tommo! Obviously.

Beginner's one that, in't it?Yeah. Yeah.Entry level.I know it well.

You fucker! Get off!

What... What, I tell a couple of jokes and pull a couple of pranks,

and you want me fucking dead? I didn't...

I didn't say dead.

I heard the recording. TJ, I was fucking angry.

Cos you pulled the same shit yesterday

you did on the first day of school, then every fucking day after that.

It was just fucking kids' stuff, Ronnie.

We're not kids any more, are we?

I'm a fucking person.

I'm a fucking real person.

I'm not just some fucking...

runty little fucking... smelly fucking...

shit that everyone can just fucking kick about

and smack around the head, and fucking have a go at all the time.

It's all the fucking time!

And I know why they do it.

I do, and that's the most annoying part.

It's cos I am a liar. I am a bullshitter.

But if you've been told that since day one...

..that you're fucking nothing,

that you're a piece of shit,

by everyone, all the fucking time...

then you're gonna start believing that, aren't ya?

And if you start believing that, that's what you're gonna be, innit?

I just wanna point out... What?

..the reason I locked you in that cupboard on day one

is cos you nicked my fucking wallet.

Did I? Yeah, you did.

Must have forgot about that bit.

And the nickname...

..it's probably the smartest thing I ever come up with.

And it just stuck.

I'm sorry.

Hey. What?

I'm sorry.

Here.

I'm sorry. All right.

All right.

Right. Fuck this.

Right. Shall we get out of here? Fucking hell.

It's a bit...Oh! Do you suffer with your back?

Oh, yeah. When it gets cold, man. It's just me hips, me.

Go on, you go and twat the door down, or something.All right.

I'm fucked. I'm fucked. You do it. You do it.

Hello, guys. I'm sorry.

Where have you been?I got stuck with an old lady about 60 miles away.

It's a fucking long story. Right, come on. Come on.

Can you smell petrol?

Where is he? I don't know. Oh, Christ.

I'm right here.

Anyone moves, I'll drop the lighter, and this place'll go up in flames.

Oh... Oh, no.

Now.

Hello, Vincent.

Bruno. Bruno, listen.

I can tell that you're really fucking upset, dude. I can tell.

Upset? Yes.

Oh, no, I'm not upset.

I'm enjoying this. Right.

I've waited years for this moment...

to see the fear in your eyes.

Right, it's working. I just...

I wonder whether there might've been a bit of a misunderstanding gone down.

I don't know what you're after?

It's you I want. Right.

Now, take all your clothes off.

What the fuck is wrong with everyone?!

Take your fucking clothes off, or I'll do something you'll regret!

I'll see this place go up in flames, I swear down.I believe you, Bruno.

I believe you. Why the fuck do you want me to get me kit off for you?

Cos you must pay.

For fucking what, Bruno?!

Oh!

You don't even remember, do you? Man, I don't remember shit.

I don't remember anything. I'm fucking stoned all the time.

Well, let me refresh your fucking memory, then!

Mm. 2006...in the toilets?

You pretended to be Mrs Sklode.

Humiliated me.

I remember it. I remember it.

It weren't me, though, dude. It was Dylan.

I swear to God, I can't do voices.

No. Bad.He can't.He can't. He was good with voices.

It wasn't...

It wasn't you? No!

Well, where the fuck is he?

Where the fuck is Dylan?!

He wasn't here last night. He died.

Well... Well, someone pays.

Someone has to pay for what I've gone through, all my life!

Do you know how many flaccid nights I've had,

because of you and your stupid fucking mate?

Can't imagine.Oi. Come on. Lot of information, in't it?

Well, it's too bad. Cos I'm not leaving here until we're even.

I wanna be seen!

Bruno!

Oh. Right on cue.

If it isn't Runty Ronnie.

Oi! Only I get to call him that.

You fucking... You stop now.

Right, Ronnie. Ronnie, don't. There's petrol all over the floor.

Someone must pay! Enough!

Get a bite of this, ya mad fuck!

Shit!

Oh, fuck! Hold up!

Yeah, you.

Sexy Mr moustache guy. Hold up.

Aha! Go on, Ronnie.Fucking yes! Tainted Love #

Nice one. Well in, dude. See that? Lovely.Fuck you.

Dude.

Get in.Good work.Check you haven't killed him.I'll check he's alive.

Oh, here we go. Right, now.

It's only a mock-up, right, it's only a mock-up.

I got Liz to do a draft of the poster. What do we think?

Come on, you're a crowd pleaser. Mrs Waif were right.

What the fuck?! Lovely. Right?

You all right, Erin? You all right?Mm.

I just... I'm sorry. I'm sorry for...

just causing this much of a shit stink again.

I just... It's not your fault.

For once.

Why didn't you tell me? About what?

Why didn't you tell me you were being bullied?

Come on, Erin.Ronnie, I would've done something about it.

I wasn't gonna do that. I couldn't. Ronnie.With all the other shit I put you through.

You're still my brother. Mm.

All right, granted, yeah, you were a massive pain in the arse.

I used to be a dick.No, you still are.I still am.You still are.

Right. But you're still my brother.Yeah.

And I still love you.

It's just... I don't wanna be a fucking nutter any more, Erin.

I wanna be the brother you can be proud of, you know?

I really do, and I fucking will be.

Dark Black # All right?Come here.

Ow. Ow. What?What's in your hand?

Ronnie, what is in your hand? It's a fucking cash tin. Right.

I was in the Headmaster's office. I wasn't gonna leave it.

Minding it.Yeah.You were minding it.So now I'll keep hold of it.

All right.I fucking love you, Erin. I fucking love you.

Christ.

What are you doing?

Dylan's got a piece of that sky, do you know that?

Has he? Mm.

How come? He won a competition.

He had a star named after him.

Well, you kept that fucking quiet, didn't you? An entire fucking star.

Yeah. Christ.

Can you see all this, you arse of a man?

Floppy haired twat.

Christ. It better be that bloody bright one there.

That's a plane, Vin. Yeah.

I miss him.

Me too.

# Dark black

# Is the colour of my life... #

Your Love # Me and my husband, Vernon...

we met at this night that Curtis started.

I want us to have one last rave together.

I'm hearing noises about an illegal rave.

I can't do it without my old mate Matty Ravenscroft.

Nobody move! I know a venue.

Come 'ed. There'll be no rave happening here.

# I've got so much trouble in my mind

# I've got so much trouble in my mind

# I've got so much trouble in my mind

# I've got so much trouble in my mind

# Give me the strength to carry on

# Give me the strength to carry on

# Cos everything I got Is just about gone

# And I think about it... #

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