Original subtitles

I'm going down south. I'm going to have myself time.

Friendly faces everywhere.

Humble folks without temptation.

I'm going down south. I'm going to leave my woes behind.

And we're punching day or night. People shouting, howdy neighbor.

And on up south, I'm going to see if I can't unwind.

Come on down south out there and meet some friends of mine.

South Park Elementary.

Would you like to sign my petition?

Why, sure, little girl. What's your petition for?

It's to try and get everyone to smell my farts.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's going on here?

Oh, wow!

Santa Claus!

You've been a bad girl, Red, so I'm going to piss in your face now.

Oh, no, you better not, Santa.

Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho!

And that Santa Claus piss is in his mouth.

There, now you smell like Santa's piss.

Wow, that looks pretty real.

Hey, fellas, fellas, check this out. Me and Kenny made a generative AI video of

Red getting pissed off by Santa Claus.

Oh, dude.

It's really easy. You can make the videos online.

We made one of Red eating dog shit and one of Red barfing up tampons.

Dude, that's not cool.

Yeah, why would you guys do this to her? Because Red's a bitch.

She totally used me.

Yeah, I think I did.

Red pretended she liked me to get me to buy her a looboo. That bitch deserves

it. You shouldn't be using AI to make revenge porn, Butters. That's going to

totally backfire.

What's going to happen?

That little shit.

That little shit.

It's already all over the school.

Butters is trying to humiliate you.

What the hell did I do to him?

Well, you did kind of use him.

I didn't use him. He... wanted to buy me a la boo -boo. You should go tell the

principal, Red. They said if anyone made these kind of videos of other students,

they'd call the police.

I don't need to tell the principal.

There's going to be a big assembly this afternoon.

I'll get furs back myself.

All right, everyone, listen up.

As you know, most of your brains have been sucked void of common sense by the

woke radical left.

And so today's topic is about having some pride in America's heritage.

Pay attention.

America. It was built on a dream, an idea, that almost all people should be

free. When our forefathers first came to this great nation, they, in the

Mayflower Plymouth... Oh,

hey, everybody.

It's me, Butters.

And this is my friend Totoro. And you know what I'm going to do?

I'm gonna fuck him. Yep, that's right. I'm Butters, and I'm gonna have sex with

Totoro right now.

Don't. Don't.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Oh, you bitch.

What the hell is this?

I told him.

All right, Mrs. Cartman, let me get this straight. You say the government took

your child.

The doctor said he only had another six or seven weeks to live.

And these people said they could help him if they took him to Washington.

And they didn't invite you to go along. Seems a little far -fetched. It was all

so confusing.

They said it was about national security.

I've been getting updates in emails, but I don't even know what to believe

anymore. Detective Harris, sir, we need to get down to the school right away.

What's the matter? There's a young boy there, sir.

Appears he's been molested by Totoro.

Holy shit!

Sorry, Ms. Carbon. We'll look into it for you when we can.

But what about Eric?

All right, kid. You want to

tell me what happened?

I don't know nothing!

We've seen the video, kid.

How long have you and Totoro been sexually active?

What?

Look, that forest -dwelling piece of shit is just going to keep doing this to

kids unless you talk to us.

I want to know where you met Totoro, and I want a description of his penis.

Sir, you better come take a look at this.

What is it? There's another young student here at the school that appears

have just been raped by Popeye.

Popeye? That son of a bitch!

Well, I don't know nothing!

He's right.

Oh my God, what the hell is going on here? We think Totoro and Popeye might

somehow be working together, sir.

This all has to be connected.

A string of rapes, the missing Cartman boy.

South Park's going to shit right before our eyes.

Sir?

There's something very wrong going on here, Mitch.

And I'm going to find out what.

Please don't be mad at me.

Everything I did, I did for you.

You were manipulating me.

This whole time you've been trying to get me to get rid of Satan's baby.

Yes, because I know you want to get rid of the baby, boss.

I was just trying to help you.

I would do anything for you.

You are the...

Greatest birth I ever had.

And I just want you to be happy.

Of course I don't want that baby. But everyone's so excited.

I can't get out of it.

I have a guy, boss.

He is in Colorado right now.

He is an expert in all of this.

Nobody's here to embarrass you, all right, son?

We just want to know what happened between you and Popeye.

What? Well, I said hello.

You can't tell the girls it's you because you helped me, or they're going

know we're there first.

We don't know nothing.

Did Totoro tell you to say that? You don't need to protect these scumbags.

Sir, there's a Studio Ghibli here that wants to talk to the kids.

What's a Studio Ghibli?

Some Japanese guys say they represent Totoro.

You! You fuck Totoro!

Totoro is Studio Ghibli IP!

Oh, Totoro's already got some lawyers, huh?

It takes hundreds of artists three years to make a Totoro! And in two

minutes you spit out your shit and fuck Totoro!

Studio Ghibli no sakuren!

What? No, no, no, no, no, no!

All right, I can't understand a word anyone here is saying.

You stop!

This is a shishu and a shishu! Shishu and a shishu! Mitch, get him out of

You cannot just do whatever

you want with someone else's IP!

and everyone smells like popcorn. This is unreal.

Forever. Just want to let everyone know I'm safe and sound. No kidding. That's

my pad pad.

I love cheesy poops, and I respect my authority, but... Oh, Eric.

Mommy misses you.

A boy from South Park tells his mom he's doing good and he'll be home soon.

Hey, dude, fuck you. That is totally not cool what you're doing.

The boy is fat and authoritative.

Hey, ma 'am. Things are good here. I love cheesy poops. I'm just stoked to be

feeling better, and I'll be home soon.

Respect my contact.

Bro, everyone's going to know that's not really me. I haven't even talked about

cheesy poops in, like, five years.

You shut up!

We'll be going to Washington soon.

And then you're going to help me stop the Antichrist from being born.

And we're going to save the world.

Not for free, dude.

If you want to use me, then you got to pay a motherfucker.

You don't get to make me go do a bunch of weird shit that I would normally

do. It's the world you live in, kid.

Anyone can make you do anything they want.

No, kitty, that's my authority.

Of course you do, Bill.

This baby is too much for you.

I tried abortion clinic, plan B, but this baby just won't die.

And that is how my guy in Colorado can help us both.

Only he can stop the Antichrist.

If we bring him here to Washington, then we can... What are you guys doing?

Hey, relax, guys.

We're having an important meeting.

What are you talking about?

It's government stuff, Satan.

Okay, so I guess I'm going to the pediatrician by myself again?

Hey, relax, guys. We have to do this.

You're such a piece of shit.

You see?

Always pushing at me.

I should be treated better than that.

Yes, boss.

You should.

That's why you need to trust me.

Nobody feels for you the way that I do.

Nobody burns.

Hey, Red, can we talk to you?

Sure, Kyle.

I'm here to help Butters try to call a truce.

What kind of truce?

It's just all this Sora stuff is kind of getting out of hand.

I know Butter started it, so then you guys made one of him. But then you guys

made one of Kenny, and I just think we all need to respect each other more.

You know what? You're right, Kyle. You're really a smart guy.

Thanks, Red.

I feel like a smart guy.

It's because I'm a Jew.

Excuse me. Is your name Kyle?

Oh, wow. It's Droopy Dog.

Hey, Droopy Dog. Yeah, I'm Kyle. You know what?

I'm going to take a shit in your mouth.

Oh!

You like that, you don't you?

Dude, what the hell? You see?

The girls did one about you now. What the hell did I do?

It don't matter, I told you. Red's just a bitch.

You like that hot shit in you too, man?

I mean, you gotta admit it's pretty impressive. It looks really real.

It's not impressive, it's fucked up. How is this even legal?

Nothing's sacred, pal. All you can do is fuck fire with fire.

Well, then let's see how Red likes it when we make one of her and Bluey. Yeah!

We've had 12 new cases in the past 14 hours.

And you're telling me we can't get one kid to testify?

None of the kids will talk, sir.

We're running out of time here, people.

These predators are all going to start lawyering up like Totoro did.

We're not a lawyer!

Nobody can understand anything you're saying, so I don't know what to tell

buddy.

We're just getting no cooperation.

Every kid we interview, we get the same thing.

That's not me. Someone else did that.

That's the South Park we're living in, Mitch.

Kids won't talk to a cop.

But they'll do anything Rocky and Bullwinkle tell them to do.

That's it. We gotta go undercover as a couple of these predators and gain a

little kid's trust.

Yeah, what's going on?

Everything is okay. We have Trump's approval now.

The president knows of our plans?

Yes.

He and I are on the same page.

What'd he say?

But we cannot proceed just yet. Can you keep the child on ice a little longer?

No problem. With Thora, too, I can make the South Park kid do just about

anything. Dude, fuck you.

That is so lame.

But, Buzz, what about Satan?

A bug.

It's a bug.

How much longer we gotta do this shit, Mitch?

You remember when things made sense?

You put your time in. You did the work.

But now this stuff we're seeing... It's like someone shook the snow globe and

said, here you go, make sense of this.

I don't understand it much either, sir.

Maybe we're just too old.

We used to go after normal criminals.

But now the criminals have... Faces that can just start turning into oranges

that eat other oranges.

That's when you realize maybe the job doesn't need you anymore.

Hey, look. Kids coming out.

Let's do this.

Hey there, little girl. It's Rocky and Bullwinkle. You looking for a good time?

The South Park Police Department had to go undercover in order to finally get to

the roof in this case.

And what the evidence will show is that an innocent girl was humiliated by the

actions of these boys.

All right, little girl, you say the boys just used you. Is that right?

That's right. They made me do things I would normally never do.

Exactly what kinds of things?

They made me go to the bathroom in a very...

Very bad playing.

And did the suspects offer you any kind of compensation?

I didn't make one cent.

What the hell is going on?

They're turning the kids into the victims?

This whole thing stinks!

Why don't you go fuck yourself, Bluey?

Order! Order!

My client has been misrepresented, and these boys are going to jail!

It wasn't their fault, all right?

It's all my fault!

This all started with me!

Because my heart was broken!

I made the first videos using Sora 2!

I saw the ones Eric Cartman made to get out of going to school, and I thought, I

can make these about Red because the bitch deserves it!

But it was just me!

Wait. You're saying that the Eric Cartman videos are all being created by

someone to distort the truth?

That's gotta be Totoro!

Trace the IP address and let's get the son of a bitch.

Freeze!

We got the kid, sir.

You're making a big mistake.

I have powerful connection.

Oh, I know you do. But no magical cat bus is going to whisk you away from

justice this time.

Man!

Oh, Eric, you're safe.

How the hell did it take you this long to figure out those videos of me were

fake? Oh, well, they look so real, sweetie.

When is the last time I even ate a pot pie, you dumb bitch?

Get him out of here. Lock him up with the Japanese lawyers.

Well, Mitch, looks like we just busted a huge community of online rapists called

Sora 2.

Great job, sir.

Detective Harris, you better take a look at this.

This guy didn't just make videos.

He also has surveillance equipment all over the White House. The White House?

Yeah. He's got this video of the president in the Lincoln bedroom.

Jesus Christ.

Oh, my God. What the hell is going on here? Oh, boy.

When Fox News sees this, they are not going to be happy.

This is it.

Back. News.

Some very troubling news from the White House today.

Apparently a security camera in the Lincoln bedroom has caught President

having relations with Vice President Vance.

Fox News is live at the White House.

Yeah, hey.

Definitely disheartening news here.

Why the president would do this to Satan with a baby on the way, we don't know.

If it's anyone's guess, why... Sorry, sorry, we got to interrupt you there.

We just got word that the president is calling in to Fox and Friends.

Are you there, sir?

Yes,

Mr. President, what is going on?

Well,

what about you and the vice president?

We're trying to relax, sir, but we've all seen the security footage.

It's fake?

Oh,

it's fake!

Oh, thank God!

Of course it was fake! How could we have doubted it?

This is a fact news fake news alert!

Totally fake news today as the president did not have sex with the vice

president.

You swear on everything that video was fake.

Of course it's fake, Satan.

Okay, because it looks really real.

Satan, I swear on the baby. I wouldn't do that to you.

Relax, huh?

Okay. Good!

Well, I gotta go get a snack.

You want anything from downstairs?

No, I'm good.

All right, what's the situation?

The detective in Colorado is very stubborn, boss.

He will not give us Peter Thiel.

How can he not hand him over? I'm the president!

Don't worry, boss.

We will not let that town get in the way of our plans together.