All language subtitles for TRICK TV Special (2005.11.13 704x396 DivX511)

Isaac Newton discovered the laws of gravity,
and is said to be the father of modern science.

He was also very well known for
his enthusiastic study of astrology.

Many powerful politicians and other
influential people have consulted astrologists.

In present day America and Japan,

many investors and managers of I.T. firms rely
on astrology before making any significant decisions.

Does fortune-telling have any scientific basis?
No definitive evidence has been found at this time.

5 seconds, 4, 3, 2...

Everyone, "Maido!"

It's Maido Scramble time!

I'm your host, Terii Itau!

And I'm his assistant, Pareo Reiko!

- Pareo, Pareo!
- Sit down!

Today we have some wonderful guests.
She's said to be extremely accurate,

has a very extensive knowledge of aliens,
and is said to be able to communicate with outer space!

Fortune-teller Midorikawa Shouko-san is here!

Welcome to the show!

We also have invited four professors
who are here to evaluate Midorikawa Shouko's powers.

Mitanichikichi University professor, Fuku-

It's read "Hiroshi!"

Mitahiroshi University professor,
Fukuzawa Ken-sensei!

Imadegawa University Professor,
Shin... Shinjima Doukokorozashi-sensei!

It's Nijima Toshi-sensei!

Takadanobabatokorozawa University Professor,
Osumi... Soutai-sensei!

It's Okuma Hayahiro-sensei!

And from Japan's Technology University,
Ueda Jiro-sensei!

Ueda-sensei, I know you're very familiar with fortune-telling.
What are your feelings on this case?

It's "Come on over!"

I am very knowledgable about this field.
If you have doubts or concerns,

Don't rely on fortune-telling.
Instead, I'd recommend this book:

- "Why Don't You Do Your Best?"
- Why not your best?

Sensei, sensei... some other time.

Fukuzawa-sensei, what do you think?

Fortune-telling has absolutely no
scientific basis whatsoever!

Especially not in your case!

Everyone's fate is highly influenced
by the movement of outer space.

The probability is established using
my Fate Calculator.

The reflecting water can detect any surges in outer space,
and using the Fate Slide-Rule, I can give a definitive answer.

It's extremely scientific.

What are you talking about?

Even if you say your predictions are accurate,

your way of saying it is probably vague,
saying either good luck will come or not.

There's no way to verify such
ambiguous claims!

I haven't made an official announcement yet,

But actually, I can foresee exactly when,
where, and how a person will die.

But I've kept it a secret until now,

Because if everyone would find out how they will die,
the world would be thrown into a huge panic!

Liar!

What you're saying is just a bluff!

Because of you, in order to avoid
the evil of an unlucky year,

a relative of mine believed in your powers
and was coerced into buying crystals,

gravestones, bracelets, scarecrows,

water purification systems, fire extinguishers,
and all kinds of other weird stuff!

Perhaps someone used my
name and deceived your relative.

What did you just say?

You old witch!

Go to the announcements!

Today, I'd like to show everyone

our magical grater from the German
Paramecium Company!

This magical grater...

If it's true, then use me as evidence!
If you're right, I'll die!

Calm down, calm down!

Calm down.

- Are you sure?
- I don't care.

- If she's right, it must mean you're already dead!
- Shut up!

Very well, tell me your name and date of birth.

Katou Ken. October 20th, 1960.

Measure the distance from his nose to his mouth.

Stretch it out!

Scream, "MOU!"

- MOU!
- Louder!

MOUUU!

Very well. Wrap your right hand around
your head, and grab your left earlobe.

Open your mouth, tug on your earlobe...

Open your mouth bigger!

Now say something.

Chou-

Fortune-telling is hospitality!

This is taking too long!

You will soon die of a heart attack.

Before this show ends.

Are you planning to do something to
this man?

No, I won't do anything.

If you're worried, why not keep one
camera on him at all times?

You over there!

Camera, over there!

I'm not interested in practical
jokes like this.

It's not a practical joke.

Her eyebrow, her eyebrow!

No matter what you do, your fate cannot be changed.

Well, everyone, this is quite a turn of events!

Will Katou-san lose his life by the end of this show?

My name is Yamada Naoko.

I'm a super skilled magician.

My late father, Yamada Gouzo, was
a great, well-known magician in Japan.

I was very influenced by him
growing up.

So I'm different from those
popular, idolized magicians.

After my world tour, I stand
on my usual stage, all the seats are...

This is my mother, Yamada Satomi.

Words have mysterious powers!
If you put your heart into it...

She runs a Shodo calligraphy class in Nagano.

Now, write!

My mother's calligraphy has the
reputation of having mysterious powers.

She's started a new business because of it.

Those who want a baby girl,
please choose the "girl" card.

If you carry it with you at all times,
you'll have a boy or girl, whichever you want!

Really?

One card is 10,000 yen.

However, if by chance the card is wrong,
I'll return your 10,000 yen along with 5,000 more.

So you have nothing to lose
when buying these cards!

Well, we'll take this one!

Ah, that's the one I warmed under my armpit!

Here's 10,000 yen!

Now you will definitely conceive a baby boy.

Thank you!

Strangely, it's a huge hit.

She gets thank-you letters from
people all over the country.

However, none of that money has
come my way even once.

Yamada-kun.

Fired? Fired...

Do your best!

So, I was fired from my job once again today.

Even though I was just on a huge stage in Las Vegas.

Scream "Mou!"

MOUU!!!

Fortune-telling is hospitality!

In 86 years, at Nakayama Race track,
a horse will kick you to death.

There's three minutes until the end of the show.

Katou-san, it seems as though everything's normal
from where I'm looking.

I feel great!

Come on over, fraud fortune-tellers!

Ueda!

This is the book she published,
"You Can't Escape! Evil Unlucky Year"

She sold 3 million copies of it,
a huge best-seller!

This one sold 5 million. Another best-seller!
What a great business.

So what you really want to do isn't
to foretell, but to sell!

Ueda-sensei, do you have anything to say?

Yes.

Actually, I've published some books myself.

They are huge best-sellers, over 2000 sold nationwide!

The titles are "Come on Over, Spiritual Phenomena!"

Oh, and we're out of time!

Katou-san!

Katou-san!

Now do you understand?
You cannot change your fate!

Today I'm going to show you this magical
grater, from German Paramecium Company!

It can shred much better than a regular grater.

The views from here are amazing!

It's really fun in this neighborhood!
Eat up!

Banchi, Paama.

Turtle #1, Turtle #2!
(kameichi, kameni)

That's right...

Hello.

Oh, you're home?

Ueda.

- You probably got fired again.
- Shut up!

If you need something, hurry it up.

I just thought I should treat you to
some delicious food every now and then.

If this is about solving the mystery
of Midorikawa Shouko, the fortune-teller,

- You can forget about it.
- Hey, how did you know?

I thought so.

I bet you saw it on TV.

The professors are going from here to Midorikawa
Shouko's mansion to expose her as a fraud.

They want me to come, too.
They said they wouldn't let me run away!

Ahaha. You reap what you sow.

No thank you.

It's this room right here!

You can lay the futon down right here!

Who is this person?

Oh, we're kicking her out.

Jami and I have to make a living, you know!

If you don't pay your rent, we're in trouble!
We had no choice but to find someone who can pay!

* Jami is saying a bunch of nonsense, and mispronounces "hinyuu" (flat-chested) as "honyuu"

House fraud... honyuu?

Yamada Naoko
NAKAMA Yukie

Ueda Jiro
ABE Hiroshi

Yabe Kenzo
NAMASE Katsuhisa

Midorikawa Shouko
NATORI Yuuko

Oshima Kumio
NISHIMURA Masahiko

Yamada Satomi
NOGIWA Yoko

Translator:
awrittensin

Trick
New Special

If you wanted to come along, you should
have just been honest about it.

Old Pond Shop?
(furu ike ya)

Excuse me, excuse me!

What is it?

I'd like to see Midorikawa Shouko-san.

We'll take your attendance over there.

Please write down your name, birthdate,
and the distance between your nose and mouth.

There are many people who want Shouko-sama to
tell their fortunes directly, so they're waiting in line.

Well, Sensei! Thank you for coming such a long way.

This is a very important scholar from Tokyo.

He's here to expose me as a fraud.

- What did you say?
- Knock it off!

Straighten up!

I'll see you later.

It's starting. It's starting.

It's starting. It's starting.

Ueda-sensei.

You're all here.

What else would we do?
The public's making a huge deal of this.

We can't let her get away with it.

I feel the same way. I'm so embarrassed
in front of my students I can hardly show my face!

Me, too.
We definitely have to find proof she's a fraud.

And you are?

This is my 99th assistant, Yamada.

* Tsukumo Hajime is an actor whose name resembles the characters for '99'

I'm Yamada.

The first question is, how did she predict
Katou-san's death?

Actually, I got a video of the show
from the TV station.

You know, of the camera that taped
him the whole time.

Shouko-sama has arrived!

So happy!

881.

373.

002.

Thank you for waiting your turns, everyone.

Our motto is, "Fortune-telling is hospitality."

That means even if you think fortune-telling
has an agenda, you're mistaken.

That is so cool!

Don't let her get you excited!

Today, we have some special visitors.

They are scholars who claim my fortune-telling
ability is false, and are here to find proof.

Instead of treating the professors harshly, I'd
like to show them how correct my fortune-telling is.

Please don't hesitate to verify my powers.

I'm sure you think it's strange that I do
my fortune-telling in this mansion.

But actually, this is the best place for the
water to detect surges in outer space.

Now, let's see if you will face the inescapable
evil, unlucky year.

#112, Kishida Atsuko-san.

Yes! Yes, I'm so happy!

You're still very young,
but your evil unlucky year has already begun.

During the unlucky year, you won't
succeed in anything you do.

Oshiba.

Look carefully. These are normal cards.

I will write "catastrophe" on one of them.

Catastrophe.

Point to one card, but beware of the
"catastrophe" card.

This is the card you chose, correct?

Turn it over.

"Catastrophe"

Shouko-sama, if everything I do ends up
in disaster, what should I do?

You cannot escape the unlucky year!

However, you can reduce the amount of
misfortunes that would befall you.

For more details, please consult Oshiba.

The important thing is to remember that
money and worldly possessions are trivial.

Yes, I'm very happy.

That was just a fraudulent magic trick!

Fraudulent?

What was that, Ueda-sensei?

Do not misunderstand me!

Did you just call me a fraud?

Well...

Then how did this evil child pick the
"catastrophe" card?

Explain it.

She did it on purpose!

Shut up!

I'm not happy anymore!

Calm down, everyone.

Even though the professors are very busy,
they all came here to visit us.

To thank you all, I have presents for you.

Inside these envelopes is written exactly when, where
and how you will die, according to my calculations.

You're unlucky, middle-aged men.

Perhaps in two days, exactly at this time,
all of you will already be dead.

Two days from now, at 11 a.m.

That's ridiculous!

I'll let Ueda-sensei hold onto these envelopes.

Every time someone dies, we'll open
them to see if my predictions were right.

You're probably planning to do
something to us!

Me?

Fire.

Water.

Earth.

Air.

According to ancient Greek philosophers, outer
space is composed of these 4 elements.

Nijima-sensei, choose one of these cards,
and place this box in front of it.

- Me?
- Yes.

This one.

- You chose the water card, correct?
- Yes.

There's an envelope inside the box.
Read its contents.

"You will choose 'water.'"

"You will choose 'water.'"

Ridiculous!

Fate had long ago decided which
card you would choose.

Wait a minute.

That was just a magic trick.

Aren't you hiding many other envelopes
around the room?

For example, under that vase.

Or under the reflecting mirror.

Or behind the picture of you in
a spacesuit.

Or in the evil girl's hat.

Inside one envelope is written,
"You will choose 'fire.'"

Another one says, "You will choose 'water.'"

Another says, "You will choose 'earth.'"

Another says, "You will choose 'air.'"

As soon as Nijima-sensei chose a card,
you'd just take out the correct one.

That's right.
I taught her everything she knows.

That's a very interesting theory.

I learned a lot.

Don't play dumb.

If I'm wrong, then let me search
the room to prove it.

Stop!

There are many objects here that detect
surges in outer space that must not be disturbed!

I thought you'd say that.

You're free to believe whatever you want.

However, from now on, terrible things will happen.

Lunch time is at 12:30 p.m.

Today is our Outer Space Power Special!

- It's 2000 yen per person!
- Expensive!

For those who can't afford that,
we have another power-up item, Surge Ramen!

1000 yen, taxes not included.

Udon de Outer Space! (Priced at market value.)

Please try some.

* "dokkoisho" is a sound made when lifting something heavy.

You, Tsukumo Hajime...

My name is Yamada.

Your theory earlier...

Actually, I noticed that same possibility
waaay before you did.

Uh-huh.

However, I wanted to observe more of
that woman's tricks, so I kept my theory to myself.

So that means you can all explain
how she did that first trick?

Of course.

But if you're so sure of yourself,
I assume you can as well?

We'll tell you if you're correct or not.

I think she wrote "catastrophe" on the back
of all of the cards beforehand.

Then, she lightly glued them to
blank cards, facedown.

Midorikawa Shouko wrote "catastrophe"
on one card, right?

However, she was only pretending to write.
She really wasn't writing anything.

That's right.

Then, she put that card face down in the pile,
and made the girl pick one card.

From the card the girl chose, Shouko took
only the top of it, that had "catastrophe" on it.

So when she flipped the card over,
that's why it said "Catastrophe."

Success! That's what we thought, too.

That was a good guess!

Good job! You've improved a lot, haven't you?

These guys are all exactly like you!

Shut up!

Listen.

They're not just regular unlucky, middle-aged men.

20 years ago, when they were young,

they discovered a waste matter fuel cell!

In other words, a technology that can change
trash into energy.

It has the possibility to solve both our world's
environmental and energy problems at one time!

What should we do with those envelopes?

If we're still alive after 11 a.m. two days
from now, we won.

We'll open them in front of everyone,
and laugh in that woman's face.

Nothing seems strange.

Maybe Midorikawa Shouko had someone
shoot him with a poison dart using a blowgun?

If so, it would have been captured on the tape.

I've heard a story of someone being cursed,

and just from the fear of the curse,
died of a heart attack.

Not possible.

Not under those exact circumstances.

Maybe fortune-telling's real after all!

Are you serious?

At any rate, I'll solve this mystery very soon.

Just like I solved her card trick earlier.

Hey!

But we don't have any proof that woman
did anything!

All Okuma-san did was eat that
confetti candy.

When he gets nervous, you can't
tear him away from his candy.

I guess this is my room.

You know... I'm really curious about
these envelopes.

So open them.

But... it's none of my business.

No one would complain if you just
opened yours.

You're right.

Wait.

In this envelope is written when, where
and how I'll die.

Are you scared?

Then I'll...

peek at it myself!

No, I'll do it myself!

"You will open this envelope."

What?

I knew it would say that.

She knew you'd open it, so
of course it would come true!

Wait, there's more.

"Actually, I've prepared another special
envelope for Ueda-sensei."

"I'll give it to you later.
Midorikawa Shouko."

I thought she'd do this.

A special envelope!

She's got guts!

I wonder if all the others say the same thing.

Probably.

There's probably no predictions in any of them!

I'm so glad I'm alive!

Ueda. It's small.

I'm going home.

Okuma, what are you scared of?

If you go home without proving she's
a fraud, it's all over!

Only 20 more minutes until lunch time.

Don't be late!

The staff is all gathered here!

Now, Shouko-sama!

ItadakiMANMOSU!

ItadakiMANMOSU!

Please give me some steak!

Get in line, get in line!

66?
(rokujuuroku)

Mujuu... ryoko? (Zero gravity)
(mu is another reading for six)

- Where's Okuma?
- No idea. Seems he's not here yet.

Maybe he did run away...

Okuma-sensei won't be returning.

What did you say?

So he did go home!

It seems you've misunderstood.

I didn't mean he wouldn't be returning here.

I meant he can no longer return to this world.

Fortune-telling is hospitality!

The water's ripples have stopped.

Okuma-sensei's life has just ended.

Okuma!

Don't eat now!

What happened?

Maybe he was taken somewhere
against his will.

That woman...

Where is Okuma-kun?
What have you done to him?

If you really want to know, why don't
you open the envelope Ueda-sensei has?

It should tell you exactly where and how he died.

* This is a very famous haiku by Matsuo Basho.

How is this a prediction? It's a haiku!

Wait.

On the way here, I saw something
called the "Old Pond Shop." (furuikeya)

Are we close, Ueda-sensei?

From here, to there.

We've still got a ways to go.

Hashidzume Bridge.
Or wait, it's read "Koudzume Bridge."

Kawatanitakujou?
Oh, it's "Santakutani River!"

So this is the "Furuikeya."

But what does the frog jumping in part mean?
(kawazu tobikomu)

* kawazu tobikomu = jumping in without buying

Listen!

Listen, I said!

He didn't buy anything, right?

See, "kawazu!" Without buying!

Slippery, slippery!

Why, Okuma?

He probably slipped.

That mud is pretty slippery.

So he got scared, ran all the way here,
lost his footing and fell down.

No, they did it.
They pushed him off the cliff.

What's wrong?

Nothing, I just feel like something's missing.

This is the Quick-solving Police!

Yes. Yes.

Yabe-san, phone.

Hello.

Ah, Ueda-sensei!

I saw that TV show!

Come on over!
Can't believe that guy really died, though.

It'll be the end of scholars if that stuff is true!

Actually, I went to her house to
expose her as a fraud.

I see.

Don't tell me people are dying one by one
according to her predictions again!

- Actually...
- What?

It looks like an accident,

but there's the possibility of a homocide.

Well, I hope it was just an accident.

We're pretty busy with cases right now!

- Hage-san. (hage = bald)
- Bald?

I mean, Yabe-san. Just come here.

As soon as I'm done with this very important
business, I'll be right over.

Thanks very much, zura.
(zura sounds like wig)

It's not a wig!

"An alien from the planet 'Unyanyupeigyuuryu.'"

Ueda-sensei just contacted the police.

This is a homocide!

Okuma-kun was pushed off the
cliff by you guys!

No, it was just an accident.

That was his fate.

Stop being ridiculous!

Wait, Fukuzawa-sensei.

There is one big flaw in the theory
that this is a homocide.

When did you last see Okuma-san?

About 12:10. Nijima was there, too.

After that, we went to the garden.
And before we went to go look for Okuma-san,

everyone else was there, as well,
eating lunch.

We were all there, including both of them.

So it's impossible that anyone here
committed the crime.

Because it took us 15 minutes, running,
to get to the Old Pond Shop.

30 minutes, round trip.

It's impossible for someone to have taken
him there, kill him, and return here in 20 minutes.

Does that mean the only possibility is that
Okuma was trying to run away and slipped?

That's right.

I can't believe that.

Sensei, whose side are you on?

It's important to look at all the facts here.

You understand, don't you?

Your fate was decided long ago.

Ueda-sensei.
Let's just open all the envelopes.

That way, if we know how and where
we'll die, we can just avoid it.

"The drowned will die clutching 'wara.'"

"Holy water shall deliver judgment."

But you have to use the toilet!

Right, alien from Unyanyupeigyuuryu?

You took that?

They all have something to do with water.

So that means we just have to
avoid water at all costs.

I'll stay here tonight.

Because we don't know what tricks
their headquarters has inside.

That one is Mercury, the water planet.

Very suspicious.
So I'll stay in Mars.

And I won't come out at all!

Go see if any of this water is
leaking inside.

Of course it's not.

Just go do it!

All clear, Captain!

It's all clear, Sensei.

There's no possibility of water
leaking inside tonight.

The most important thing is
to do your best at all times.

When I went to the Taklimakan Desert in China,

There was a huge rainstorm for
the first time in 100 years!

I coincidentally, had brought a raincoat.
So I was the only one who didn't get wet.

* The poster is of Kase Taishuu, but it's in the Mars bungalow, Kasei.

Then please keep watch outside.

What? You want us to stay outside all night?

Yeah, what would happen if someone
tried to come inside and drown me?

Alien... give me some money.

Alien... 3000 yen.

Alien... here's some food.
Eat it.

Boring...

Like I'd die in this place!

Don't scare me like that!

Straw?

Straw?

What's that here for?

"The drowned shall die clutching 'wara.'"

No way...

What am I scared about?

I couldn't drown from this.

What will you have, alien?

I'll have carbonara.... beef bowl...

We can split the ribs...

Hey, wake up!

What is it?

I finally made a friend and everything!

What will you do if they come here?

I'll just hide her.

I'm not talking about the alien!

Why don't you fight them by yourself?

Oh, that's right.

You're too quiet, so you must be scared.

You were talking in your sleep
so loud it bothered me!

Don't fall asleep.

Say something.

Recently, my mom started this
weird business in Nagano.

She started selling cards that supposedly
help you conceive a baby of whatever sex you want.

Oh, your mother did?

A card that says "boy" for those
who want a baby boy.

A card that says "girl" for those
who want a baby girl.

One card is 10,000 yen.

If by chance the card doesn't work,

she returns their 10,000 yen,
plus 5000 yen more.

So you have nothing to lose by
buying this card!

But it's often right,

and she gets thank-you letters
from all over the country!

Wait a second.

Anyone could make money doing that.

Huh?

The probability of having a baby
boy is about 50%.

So of the cards she sells,
from both boy and girl cards,

half of them will succeed,
and half of them will fail.

For example, if she sells 10 cards,

she gets 10,000 yen for each of them.

So from those cards, 5 will fail.

So 5 times 15,000 is 75,000.
That's what she has to repay.

But she sold 10 cards to begin with,
so her remaining profit is 25,000 yen.

So if she sold 50 cards, her remaining profit
would be 5 times 25,000 yen: 125,000 yen.

If she sold 100 cards, remaining profit
would be 250,000 yen.

If she sold 1000 cards, well...
remaining profit of 2,500,000 yen.

The people who bought cards that
were right will think it's because of the cards.

They'll send thank-you letters and
tell everyone around them.

If the cards fail, they'll get an extra 5000 yen back,
so they'll think it's only fair.

So they won't complain, and they
won't mention it to anyone else.

Therefore, her reputation can do
nothing but increase.

That's it. When I get home, I'll do it, too.

The alien will tell them if it'll be
a boy or a girl.

Your child will be a boy!

A girl!

A boy!

A boy!

A girl!

Red!

- White!
- Hey!

Red!

Nijima-sensei, it's morning!

It's morning!

Nijima-san!

That's strange.

Maybe he's back there.

Stop it!

Stop it! Get your hands off!

Nijima-san... why?

He drowned in the bathtub?

If he was trying to avoid water,
there's no way he'd take a bath.

Anyway, he's still wearing his clothes!

* In Japanese, straws are usually referred to by the English loanword for straw, "sutoroo"

Why is he holding onto a straw?

The drowned will die clutching "wara."

The prediction was right!

Huh? Eh? I don't get it!

* Besides the English loanword, there is a Japanese word for straw that's written using kanji, "wara."

What? Then what's "sutoroo" in English?

Huh?

Goodbye... Alien from Unyanyupeigyuuryu!

Shouko-sama's prediction was right.
The scholar's dead.

What can scholars do against the
power of Shouko-sama's predictions, anyway?

Ueda-sensei.

Come here for a moment.

Uh, not you.

It's a talk for professors only.

I'm next.

I'm the only one left alive.

Before that happens, I'll...
That woman...

Huh?

Before she kills me, I'll kill her.

Don't be ridiculous!

Oh, I'm sorry. Lost my composure.

Holy water shall deliver judgment.

The question is, judgment for what?

Do you have any idea?

Of course not.

A large percentage of Todai graduates
go on to medical school.

- Did you know that, Yabe-kun?
- Yes, Inspector.

Yet, instead of becoming a doctor,
I chose to become a policeman!

- Do you know why?
- No, no idea, Inspector.

I wanted to save people from
the sickness of criminals!

That's what I thought.

This is the path I have chosen
for my life!

Are you sure it wasn't because you failed
the exam for medical school, Inspector?

Thank you very much!

Sorry about that, Inspector.

Hey! Hey!

What's going on?

- We're out of gas.
- What the hell is wrong with you?

- Yes, Mama.
- I'll kill you!

Leave it to me.

I can buy gas via the Internet!

Huh? No signal!

No signal...

There are places you can't
get signals from?

Slippery!

"Old Pond Shop"
(furuikeya)

Old hair?
(furui ke)

Yabe-san, isn't it about time you
bought a new wig?

This isn't a wig! It's real!

Hey guys! I can't wait anymore.

Let's go, Yabe-kun. Akiba-kun.
Carry me!

Who do you think you are, an ancient
king from India or something?

It's still a really long way!

You're getting pretty snobby to me.

It seems the time has come to
make things clear, Akiba-kun.

I have a career trajectory.

I was born to be first class.

While you two are getting your
feet all muddy at the crime scene,

I, like an angel with wings,

will go from Detective to Administration,
and after I'm promoted to Police Superintendent,

I'll be promoted to the most elite position,
Superintendent General of the Metropolitan Police!

Do you understand that, Akiba-kun?

Akiba Harando!

Yes, Mama.

Watch how you speak to the Inspector!

- Get ready!
- Yes, Mama!

- Let's go.
- Yes, Mama!

Yabe-kun!

We're finally here!

That was really far!

Let's take a dip in the onsen
and stay the night!

That sounds nice!

Well, let's straighten this out.

Stop!

What business do you have here?

It's Midorikawa Shouko-san!
I saw you on TV!

We're policemen.

Policemen?

Are you on some kind of case?

We heard there was a homocide
relating to a fortune-teller.

Why, who said such terrible things?

Go ahead and investigate.

Stop being so nosy!

- You can't go in!
- You evil woman!

Everyone, excuse me!

We're with the police!

Hold your head high,
hold your head high!

Yabe!

* "Moe" is a word used in anime that means "crush"

- Who is that?
- Oh, he's my new subordinate.

- Moeee!!
- Is he a cow?

- Well, do your best.
- Nice to moe meet you moe, I'm Akiba Harando, moe.

- Moe!
- Moeeeeee!

Hey, this is pretty rare, for a guy to like you!

Where'd the kid from Todai go?

Oh, him? He's useless.
So I let him be promoted to Inspector.

- You mean he surpassed you in rank?
- Shut up!

- Yabe.
- What?

Another man is dead.

So anyway, don't worry, everyone.

We'll solve all the cases very quickly.

I've never seen you do that before!

What the hell is wrong with you?
All I ever hear when you talk is rattling!

- Will you stop that?
- MOE!

Crime scene investigation!

Crime investigation! Moe!

So I heard you and Ueda-sensei
watched this bungalow the whole night?

Yes.

Where is Ueda-sensei?

How should I know?
He's been gone for a while now.

So when morning came, Nijima-sensei
was all wet and had drowned.

That's right.

All right! I've solved the case!

Nijima-sensei was going to take a bath,
so he filled the tub with water.

But then, he slipped and fell in the bathtub.
He was about to drown and crawled out somehow.

MANANA!
But it was already too late, so he drowned to death.

That's a perfect theory, Yabe-san!

That's not possible.

Why was he holding onto a straw?

Plus, he was avoiding water all night.

There's no way he'd even think of taking a bath.

Maybe he got dirty doing something
and just felt like taking one!

There's something else.

If he was in the tub but crawled out,

why was the bathtub still completely full
of water, all the way to the top?

Shouldn't the water level have receeded from
the amount of water Nijima-sensei's body absorbed?

Details, details!

If you think like that, we'll never solve the case!

Akiba, let's go.

Yabe, are you okay with that?

Give me back my taxes!

Taxes? Have you ever even paid taxes?

Little lost kitten...

- Where is your home?
- Don't sing.

- Even you ask me, I don't know.
- Please stop singing.

- Even if you ask my name, I don't know.
- Please stop!

- Meow meow meow meow meow meow!
- We're actually from a university... please stop.

- All the little kitty can do is cry!
- Shut the hell up!

I guess I'll just have to get the
evidence by cross-examination.

What do you mean?

Just leave it to me.

It's time for the last resort!

Brother, everything will be over soon.

And we'll see each other again.

Excuse me.

Did you find anything?

Well, she thinks it's your fault
Nijima-sensei drowned in the bathroom.

Very interesting.

And where is your proof?

I'd advise you not to anger me.

Or you will be met with great misfortune.

Here are some cards.

Please count out ten.

* Shouko keeps mixing up counters, which is why Yabe and Akiba are reacting like that.

Take 3 off the top, tear them and discard them.

1, 2, 3.

There are seven cards left.

Now, count the cards out once more.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

How'd you do that?

Do you understand?

I have the power to twist fate.

If you don't wish to have great misfortune,
you should honestly admit your crimes.

I've seen through everything,
everything you've done!

But wasn't that just a magic trick?

Huh?

After I ripped the 3 cards
and discarded them,

you told me to count the cards once more,
and pushed them towards me.

At that time, you placed the 3 cards you'd
been hiding in your hands on top of the pile.

There's... that way of thinking, too.

What's wrong with you?

Moe...

No matter how you look at it,
that man's death was an accident!

Just what I'd expect from a detective!

In times like these, it's best
to leave it up to the pros!

- You're so smart!
- Not at all.

Where did you get that made?

Oh, this is my real hair.
It wasn't made at all.

It's crooked.

Detective, you're quite good at
escaping misfortunes!

You're surviving your evil unlucky
year right now!

Space surges around you like the spring wind!

You'll continue on to a season where
everything grows thick and luxurious around you!

Thick and luxurious!

Wash the places you wish to grow thick
and luxurious with this Outer Space Water everyday.

I'll try it.

For you, a special discount price
of 50,000 yen per bottle.

However, for the special bargain price
of 3,000,000 yen, you get 1 year's supply.

You're not seriously considering
buying that, are you?

How often should I use it?

The more, the better!

I'll go use it right now.

Let's go, Akiba.

Wait, Yabe-san! We can't carry that much!

- Yabe!
- Is there anything else?

I see. Let me predict your destiny.

It's okay.
If I see something bad, I won't tell you.

But if I see something good, I will tell you.

Sounds good, doesn't it?

No thank you.

I'll decide my own destiny.

That's an unusual pattern, isn't it?

It's a very special pattern that gives water power.

I feel like I've seen it somewhere before...

That's not possible.

I'm the only one who uses it, in the whole world.

Good work, detectives.

I'm glad all your doubts have been cleared up.

Oh, it was nothing.

I do have to write a report on it, though.

So do you know of an onsen or
something around here?

In fact, I do.
We're in charge of it!

It's an onsen made of water especially
sensitive to the surges of space.

It's called the "Super Kami Worshiping Onsen"!
(kami = both 'god' & 'hair')

Is it, by any chance...

Yes, it's perfect for it!

It's at an unbelievably low price of
10,000 yen per person, per bath.

Huh?

Yabe-san, that's way too expensive!

I don't care, let's go!

Ueda.

Ueda!

Kase Taishuu?

Excuse me...

I've come to solve your riddle...

Not important, huh?

There's no way he could have drowned in there!

This is not good!

Huh?

This is ridiculous!

I got it!

The trick of how Nijima-san drowned!

This door was rigged so that once
it's opened from the outside,

it can't be opened again from the inside.

And the drain in this unit bathroom is really small.

So the overflowing water collected in
this room, all the way to the ceiling.

So Nijima-san drowned.

Then, someone attached a water pump
from outside to the toilet's or sink's drain,

and by morning, all the water had
been slowly pumped out.

So only Nijima-san's drowned body remained.

And that's why the bathtub remained completely full.

Midorikawa Shouko, you played such dirty tricks!

I've seen through every time, everything you've done!

But this is really not good!

Save me, alien!

Hey, I can wash my hair for free.

But not at a time like this!

This is really not good!

But why was he clutching onto a straw?

I see. He was trying to suck air out from here.

He drowned like that, so he was still holding the straw.

I've solved everything!

Ueda!

Ueda!

Wake up.

Wake up.

Ueda-san.

Why are you sleeping at a time like this?

Why did you take a bath with your clothes on?

And why did you break the lid?

I wasn't sleeping! I almost died!

Where were you this whole time?

Stop!

Someone hit you?

I was standing here, and someone
suddenly hit me from behind.

Luckily, the water was deep enough
where I landed, so I survived.

It's because I've participated in many competitions

where your courage is tested by jumping off high places.

Are you an idiot?

Did you see their face?

No, but it was definitely that woman.

But why attack you, Ueda-san?

Isn't it obvious?

She's afraid I'll solve the mystery.

Hey.

Ueda-san. Are you sure you didn't see
something that you weren't supposed to?

Something I wasn't supposed to?

Think about it.

I noticed the confetti candy on the ground.

I followed it from the house all
the way to the bridge.

Confetti candy?

Yeah, that Okuma-san had been eating.

I followed it here.

At the bottom, the bag of candy was there.

I ate some and regained my strength.

Incredible strength raced through me.

I feel the sugar! I feel the power!

Best 3, fight!

That's not all.

At the top of the cliff, was Oshima.

Someone tried to kill me.

You know something, don't you?

No. Not a thing.

You've studied many martial arts?

Judo, Kendo, Karate, Shodo.

If you put all my ranks in them together,
I'm a 20th degree black belt.

I learned karate from a correspondence
course.

Would you like to fight me?

Gladly.

Our battle lasted for five hours.

It was an amazing fight.

We fought with all our hearts and souls.

Leaves danced in the wind,
trees collapsed!

It was the ultimate showdown
of man versus man.

It was very intense.
It was a fight that will go down in history.

I ate confetti candy to re-energize.

I feel the sugar! I feel the power!

Because I believe in fair play,
I gave him some confetti candy, too.

- I feel the sugar! I feel the energy!
- But he still didn't confess.

He was a splendid enemy.

And I, a man among men!

So we celebrated our fight with a toast!

Cheers!

Why were you screwing around like that?

Confetti candy?

Where are you going?

When we were looking at the
place Okuma-san's body was,

I felt like something was missing.

What's wrong?

That something missing was
the confetti candy.

What?

You said when Okuma-san got nervous,
you couldn't tear him away from his candy, right?

However, when Okuma-san fell, he
wasn't holding the confetti candy.

It wasn't near his body, either.

If he really did try to run away,
why didn't he have the confetti candy with him?

What do you mean?

Okuma-san was pushed.

But not from the cliff near the Old Pond Shop.

But from the bridge we were just at.

Okuma-san was killed on that bridge and pushed off.

Just like they tried to do to you.

The body was carried by the river,
and stopped beneath the Old Pond Shop,

where the river narrowed.

I see.

He was pushed off the same bridge as me.

It's about... 1 kilometer from the house
to the bridge, round trip.

Even if there wasn't someone gone
from the mansion for 20 minutes,

it's still possible someone could have
committed the crime.

It doesn't matter how long it takes
to get to the Old Pond Shop!

It's just as I thought!

Ueda.

However, we have no proof.

Of course we do!

The bag of confetti candy you picked
up from under the bridge!

If we just show it to Yabe...

Don't tell me...

You two idiots got hungry from
your fight and ate it all?

We still have hope.

I can explain the trick of this bungalow to Yabe.

As long as they properly contained the crime scene.

Don't say that!

What are you doing?

We were fixing the broken toilet tank.

You were trying to destroy the evidence!

What are you talking about?

Let's return to headquarters.

I'm happy!

This isn't good.

Now that this has happened, we have to
solve the mystery of why Katou-san died.

Let's look at that tape again.

There's still 15 hours left until the deadline
that woman set of 11 a.m.

Until then, I've decided not to
even get close to water.

You can never be too cautious.

Excuse me. This is all I can offer you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Stop!

Ah, delicious!

I wasn't sure if they'd put something in it!

An indirect kiss...

You were going to make me see
if it was poisoned?

Do you think there's any chance you
have a connection to Midorikawa Shouko-san?

To make her hold a grudge
against you or something?

Don't be ridiculous.
Why would you say that?

"Holy water shall deliver judgment."
Judgment means to punish someone for something, right?

Give me a break.

Ueda-sensei.

I'm an elite scholar.

Of course I wouldn't have any
connection to some fortune-teller.

Question.

Go ahead, Tsukumo Hajime.

May I see the video you have once more?

We won't be able to solve the case
unless we solve the mystery of Katou's death.

If us brilliant scholars couldn't solve it,
I doubt you can.

yokkoishouichi.
Huh. I said "Yokoi Shouichi." (an actor)

There's nothing strange.

I guess it was just a heart attack.

Could it be...

What and what?

I've figured it out.

How Katou-san died.

What?

It's almost time for your deadline, 11 a.m.

I wonder if I'll really die before then.

By holy water.

My prediction will come true.

Actually, your fate was decided for
you 30 years ago.

30 years ago, on June 10th.

I'm sure you remember.
On that day, you killed someone, didn't you?

Is that true, Fukuzawa-san?

How dare you!

Really?

Then place your hand in this water.

It's holy water.

And this pattern gives the water power.

Ridiculous.

What kind of power?

The power to deliver judgment.

If a murderer places his hand
in this water, he will die.

I understand.

You put poison in the water, didn't you?

No.

See?

Nothing.

You do it, too!

Huh? Why?

Go ahead.

But, I suggest you place one hand on your chest,
and think veeery carefully if you're guilty of something.

I knew it! You're a liar!

That chest is fake!

Aren't you really flat-chested?

You evil busted-girl!

Shut up!

Enough about my chest.
I'm not guilty of anything!

What about stealing an alien?

Why are you scared at a time like this?

When I was in the Green Berets,

We had to not be afraid of anything!

I took a knife and stabbed in between
my fingers at an incredible speed!

You do it, too.

Shut up!

Yes, yes... everyone.

Now you see there's no poison in the water.

So if you've never killed someone,
you have nothing to fear.

* Harataira-san was a manga artist that wrote "Alien" and often answered questions right on a game show called "Quiz Derby."

* The host of "Quiz Derby" was Shinozawa Hideo.

If you don't put your hand in,
you're admitting your guilt, aren't you?

Wrong!

Then why are you hesitating?

Look.

Well?

You...
What have you done?

What have you done?

Suffer.

The water has punished you.

Help me! Help me!

So painful!

That woman... terrible woman...

Everyone, the holy water has
delivered judgment!

The prediction was correct.

This is more proof of Shouko-sama's power.

You've just witnessed the most
miraculous moment in the world!

Fortune-telling is hospitality!

So happy!

Wait! You shouldn't be happy!

This isn't the power of fortune-telling.

Beforehand, you applied clear, deadly poison
to the interior of this bowl, right here.

When we put our hands in, it was just water.

Yet, you purposely put your hand in again
and made Fukuzawa-san put his in, too.

The water level rose with both hands inside,
and reached the place the poison was applied.

The poison began to spread in the water.

After you confirmed this, you removed your
hand before the poison could spread.

Fukuzawa-san had no idea, and the poison
entered his body through his skin, and he died.

But what about Katou-san?

Are you saying I did that, too?

I've solved that riddle, as well.

The tape had a clue on it.

Ueda. The cassette.

What?

The one we watched yesterday.

Rewind!

Stop!

So what are you saying I did?

No one even laid a hand on Katou-san.

It was impossible for me to kill him.

What I want you to look at is Katou-san's necktie.

It has the same pattern on it as that cloth.

You said that pattern has special powers.

This is a special pattern that gives water power.

Why would Katou-san, who didn't believe
in your power, wear a necktie with that pattern?

The answer is simple.

You and Katou-san were old acquaintances.

Or maybe, you were brother and sister.

Katou-san pretended your prediction was
accurate and died by himself on camera.

In other words, suicide?

Yes.

If he did that, people all over the world
would believe fortune-telling was real.

After that, if you killed Okuma-san, Nijima-san
and Fukuzawa-san, you could blame it on fate.

Wait a second.

No matter how much you say it was suicide,
you can't make yourself have a heart attack.

It's not impossible.

All you have to do is inject an
air bubble into a blood vessel.

The air bubble will travel through
the blood vessel all the way to the heart.

It has a high probability of causing
a heart attack.

I was thinking about entering medical school for awhile.

However, it didn't show him
with a syringe!

How about this?

First, Katou-san acted as if he was in
pain right as the show was about to end.

The studio became chaotic.

Katou-san took advantage of that, and with his back to the camera, injected himself with an air bubble.

You took the syringe away yourself.

Your goal was to kill Okuma-san,
Nijima-san and Fukuzawa-san from the start.

So Katou-san sacrificed his life in
order to let you do that.

You found me out!

Oh well.

Midorikawa-san.

You're right. It's exactly as you said.

Those three men killed my father.

Your father?

Okay, I'll tell you!

My father managed an ironworks place in a small town.
He loved inventions.

I did it! I did it!

Look at the water!

That's great, Dad!

After a while, we were robbed.

The robbers killed my father.

The criminals were never caught.

So my brother and I swore we'd find
them ourselves and get revenge.

That's why I became a fortune-teller.

Fortune-tellers hear all kinds of things,
all kinds of information.

However, 10 years passed without any leads.

Around that time, I happened to find some
old copies in my father's workroom.

I knew that important college professors had

had discovered how to make a
waste fuel cell many years earlier.

It was a big story at the time.

Fukuzawa and the others announced
their discovery in 1985.

But 10 years earlier, my father
had been doing that same research!

I had a hunch that the burglars
stole my father's invention.

Those burglars were Fukuzawa, Nijima, and Okuma.

I've invented a waste fuel cell!

I'd like for you to examine my invention
to see if I've done it correctly.

If that's true, it'll be the greatest
invention of the century!

Please help me!

So, I met with them to make
sure I was right.

24 years ago.
You're the ones who killed my father, aren't you?

Ridiculous.

- What proof do you have?
- I have this proof.

You wanted this research, stole it,
and then killed my father!

If that's true, why don't you tell the public?

A street fortune-teller or us, elite college professors.

I wonder who the public would believe?

My brother made the plan to kill them.

Shouko.

I'll do just what you predict.

Then everyone will believe in your power.

Don't be ridiculous! If you do that-

I don't care! As long as I can get revenge for Dad!

Brother...

So I went on that TV show according
to my brother's plan.

The three of them were invited.
I didn't think they'd invite you as well, Ueda-sensei.

That's everything.

I told you everything.

Oshiba, let's end this.

I don't have the power to
foresee the future, anyway.

Please stop.

Fortune-tellers are all frauds!

And that alien is just made of rubber!
I made it myself!

The water's from the stream out back!

I switched the labels on the ramen!

The water mirror is electric!

Stop!

If you stop fortune-telling, do you know how
many people it'll cause trouble for?

Fortune-telling is a huge business!

Fortune-telling books and magazines!
Evil-warding gems and necklaces!

Gravestones, vases, fire extinguishers,
water filters, ramen, udon, water!

People that make their living from
selling these are right here!

Aliens are a big business!

It would cause too much trouble to quit!

But if you still insist on quitting...

I still insist on quitting.

I understand.

I'll become an accurate fortune-teller for all eternity.

You'll be satisfied then, right?

Stop.

My father and brother are waiting.

Shouko-san.

Ueda-sensei, the special envelopes
I promised you...

Over there....

"I've gained confidence from Shouko-sama's fortune-telling!"

"I've decided to start my life over!"

"My mother has regained her health!"

"Shouko-sama's words are my guiding light in life!"

"I've gained confidence because of Shouko-sama!"

"Thank you so much!"

"Shouko-sama is my light!"

Fortune-telling is hospitality!

So happy! So happy!

Well, Ueda. I'm very busy.

Unless you feel like treating me to
top-notch sushi, yakiniku,

or sashimi made from fish
just pulled fresh from the tank,

please don't contact me.

You've got nothing to do anyway.

- Let's see... tomorrow and the day after I have work...
- It's completely blank!

I'm sorry. Wrong apartment.

Wait, that is my apartment!

They paid 3 months rent in advance!

They gave me presents of soba noodles
and greens, how could I say no?

There's not an apartment for you here anymore!

I brought some onions!

Onions taste best in hot pots!

Ueda! Come back, Ueda!

Where was Ueda's condo again?

Ueda-san?

Ueda-san?

Everyone, how was the Trick special?

It was a great Trick, huh, Ueda-san?

Yes, my theories were perfect.

Because I was here, everything was solved.

Anyway, Trick will be made into
another movie soon!

Huh? I didn't know that.

I told you that already!

No, you didn't.

- Did too.
- Did not!

- Did too.
- Did not!

- Did too.
- Did not!

- Did too.
- Did notnotnotnot!

translation
awrittensin