Original subtitles

Crutch is filmed in front of a live studio audience.

Ah, man.

You skipped me, fool.

No, I didn't, I left yours in a bowl outside.

Now fill it to the top.

Yeah.

How's that coffee working, sleepyhead?

About as good as your job search, unemployed head.

Well, I have an executive assistant interview tomorrow

and I'm feeling optimistic.

Mm, well, I hope you get a signing bonus

with all those Ubers you've been taking.

You be taking Ubers to these interviews?

With what money?

Uh, the Crutchfield company credit card.

Are we good?

Why give Uber all my money when you could

take the subway for three dollars

wherever you want to go?

'Cause there's a reason it costs three dollars.

Yeah, so unemployed people like you can afford it.

Daddy, I've always hated

taking the train.

You've been taking the train since you was a kid.

And it always creeped me out.

There's rats, there's weirdos,

and it smells like pee all the time.

Well, sounds like my sister's gotten Minnesota soft.

You betcha.

And since we're telling my business,

why we don't tell, uh, Daddy about that big case you lost?

How dare you.

Don't start none, won't be none.

You losing cases, Negro?

Case, just one case.

Sometimes you lose.

You should know how that feels.

You're a Knicks fan.

You keep my Knicks out your mouth.

Had you taken that big corporate gig,

you wouldn't be taking all these Ls

- by yourself. - All right, Francois.

That's enough of your negative balderdash for today.

You tired.

You need some rest. Go to bed and we'll talk

- about this at lunch tomorrow. - Yes, ma'am.

And, Jamilah, my big toe was swollen last night.

That means something good is coming.

That's that gangrene.

Spell "gangrene."

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Ah! We ain't done.

Real New Yorkers take the train.

Daddy, I am a real New Yorker.

Well, you're gonna be one tomorrow, I know that.

'Cause me and you taking the train together.

How you gonna do that

when you're supposed to be watching the kids?

Even better.

They coming, too.

They're gonna be your good luck charm.

Okay, fine.

I'm-a teach them to ride the train,

and not hate it like you.

Oh, I don't hate it.

I detest it.

"Detest"?

That sound like a Minnesota word.

Like Timberwolves.

What kind of mascot is that?

It a tree or the wolf?

♪ Tells it like it is ♪

♪ Crutch is here ♪

- ♪ For friends, family, kids ♪ - Yo, it's Francois!

- ♪ Crutch is Crutchfield ♪ - ♪ Crutch. ♪

Now, kids,

your mother told me she hate the train.

Oh, she told us to never take the train.

Subways are filled with germs and felons.

They are. That's why, today,

y'all getting y'all first lessons

in the Do's and the Don'ts

of riding the subway in New York.

The train is a ride of passage for New Yorkers.

Pay attention, kids.

Nice job on this, Flaco.

Rule number one:

keep your head on a swivel at all times.

Always watch your surroundings.

And whatever you do, don't smile.

This is not Minnesota.

Come on, Grandpa, I've seen New Yorkers smiling.

That's because they are plotting.

Okay, take your place on the train, kids.

Now...

there's a difference between a New York smile

and a Minnesota smile.

And don't frown, either.

Frowns invite questions from strangers.

Here, let's show 'em, Flaco.

Why you frowning, lady on the train?

- My-my boyfriend and I-- - Nope.

You just got robbed or kidnapped.

So, if we can't smile or frown, what can we do?

Mean mug.

Show 'em your mean mug, Flaco.

That's a New York mean mug.

Now show me your mean mug, kids.

No!

Meaner!

Like you got offered cotton candy,

and they gave you Brussels sprouts.

Hey, guys.

Hey, Jamilah, you're looking sharp.

No way you don't get that interview.

Thank you, Flaco.

I call this look "Interview Slay."

Sup, Ma.

Make it do what it do!

What have you done to my children?

I'm making them New York tough.

They ready.

- Yay! - Awesome!

Hey! Wake up.

Oh, sorry.

I...

haven't been getting much sleep working at Legal Aid.

- Hmm. - I put 80 hours on a case

I just knew I was gonna win.

But... I didn't.

Epic fail.

Well, look on the bright side:

you are keeping your auntie employed.

You lose a case,

I get an inmate.

Not ready to laugh?

Seriously.

Dad keeps bringing up going back to Miller, Stevens and Cohen.

I mean,

at least working at a corporate firm,

losing one case wouldn't hurt so much.

Maybe I'm not as good of a lawyer as I thought.

What Jake is this?

This isn't my nephew

who graduated from Columbia at the top of his class.

I know, I know.

- You know how I did that? - No.

Working harder and-and longer

than anyone else in my class.

But this time, all those hours and all that effort,

it didn't help me win this case.

You're a public defender.

The stress you are putting on yourself,

it's like you're defending people on death row.

Yeah, but winning means everything to them.

My last client, she can't even pay

her utilities after losing her case.

Now she can't even take care of her cat.

You can't make your whole life your job, Jake.

People with jobs like ours, we need an outlet.

I don't think I have time for an outlet.

Well, that's what I used to say.

And then, early in my career,

this prisoner escaped on my watch.

I had to do something to get my mind off of it.

Birdwatching.

They got other birds in New York besides pigeons?

Yes, Jake.

Oh.

Living in the city, I had nature blindness.

Birdwatching gave me this, this

ravenous hunger for nature.

You know? Watching them got me out of myself

and into their world.

Sounds like something I might want to try.

What are you doing later?

My trial this afternoon got pushed.

But there's always a new file to be reviewed and...

Or you could take a break and come along.

You know something?

- I'll try it, I'll try it. - Okay.

But we're not gonna get Karened like the one brother

with the glasses?

No, baby, we don't have that problem.

We are The C.O.C.: Chirpers of Color.

We watch your back, so you can watch the birds.

Wow, this is so cool!

But it's really, really dirty.

Oh, look, a cat.

No, baby, that's not a cat. That's a...

We call those subway cats.

You don't feed, you don't pet them.

And if you see a dollar bill on the floor, don't pick it up.

I thought finding money was good luck.

Not down here. It's a trick.

That's how they caught Martha Stewart.

Now, mean mugs activate.

Come on, Mom.

Way to go, Mom.

This is my actual face right now.

Now, cool-man walk, get your bop on.

Stand clear of the closing doors.

Now, remember, keep your head on a swivel.

You understand that?

We from Harlem, but act like you from Brooklyn.

Oh, miss, miss, miss!

I think you dropped this.

This is yours.

- Well, not no more. - Grandpa!

I thought we weren't supposed to pick up money.

That was a dollar, this is a 20.

Okay, now,

scan the train, so you know

who and what's around you.

That guy looks like he's from Minnesota.

Nah, he a undercover cop.

How do you know?

He look like he's from Minnesota.

Showtime, showtime. What time is it?

- Showtime. - Showtime, showtime, what time is it?

Showtime.

This is from the train.

Grandpa, I want to be a pole dancer.

Oh, no, you don't.

You know what I'm saying, Greg?

You spend your whole life thinking you're going

in one direction, next thing you know,

you can't sleep at night.

Jake, it's a South American songbird.

Thinking about magnesium, Greg.

I heard it supports the nervous system.

You are missing it, Jake.

Oh, sorry, my bad.

Uh, what do we do?

Get in the moment.

Ooh, it's hatchling time.

Now, we're gonna move closer, but we have

to do it carefully and in unison.

You know how birds fly in a pattern together?

Well, we do something like that, but we put our own spin on it.

It's called "the freezing technique."

We take small steps together, then we stay still and observe.

Ready?

One, two, three, step.

Hey.

What y'all doing down there, the cha-cha slide?

You know, that's my dance.

Pearl. We're birdwatching.

Oh, y'all doing some freaky shit.

She's heading back to the nest.

Oh! Is that mama really gonna feed...

Ew! She is.

She's regurgitating right in their mouths.

That's nature's way.

That's so dope.

Hey, Greg. I see you in them shorts.

Does C.O.C. mean what I think it does?

So long, train!

I'll miss you.

You're such a goofball.

Admit it. You had fun, too.

Yeah. I mean, it was better than I remember.

Thanks for pushing me to do it.

That's what I do.

Now let's get you to this interview.

Oh, no.

My wallet is missing.

- You sure? - Yes.

It must have fallen out when I was on the train.

If I don't have my ID, I can't do the interview.

Why? They know you coming.

They were adamant about me having my ID.

Security won't let me in.

We'll take the express and catch up to the local.

Yeah, let's hurry. I-I really need to make this interview.

Mom, don't frown.

That's how they got Martha Stewart.

You're mixing up your lessons, but you get an "A" for effort.

Let's go.

Wow. Who knew?

Who knew that witnessing bird life could be so...

invigorating?

Oh, look.

Mama bird is about to push the baby out the nest.

What? Is she depressed? Why would she do that?

- That's how they learn how to fly. - Oh.

Yay!

That's awesome. This is how I learned how to swim.

I'll never forget it. Dad just threw me in.

- Did you float? - Eventually.

Oh, look. We get to see another one fly.

A daily double.

Here we go.

- Ooh! - Aah!

Uh, hey, y'all see? It just dropped to the ground.

Well, little birdie just wasn't ready to fly.

- It's nature way. - But...

Y'all got me up here crying.

And you call this a hobby?

What the fuck?

Wait, Auntie. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

- We can still save it, right? - Nah, honey.

That birdie is a squirrel's feast.

I know that's right.

In nature, everything is somebody else's lunch.

Nah, not on my birdwatch.

Will the new ones ever learn?

Shut up, Greg.

You still owe money on your dues.

I'll pay your dues, Greg.

Explain it to me just one more time.

This is a local train.

The train we just got off is an express, meaning

that it skipped stops, making it possible for us

to catch this train again.

I don't care how many times you explain it.

It still feels like we time-traveled.

I'm trying to call and reschedule,

- but I can't get a signal. - I'm not homeless.

I don't need a place to stay.

Um, excuse me, sir?

Have you seen a wallet on this train?

Hey, kid, get your own train.

The next stop is 34th Street.

I'm not homeless. I don't need a job.

- I don't need a place to stay. - Daddy, stop looking.

It's New York City. We both know that wallet is gone.

- Baby, don't give up. - I'm done.

I did what you wanted, and now I've missed my interview.

Come on, kids. We're calling an Uber.

- This is 34th Street. - Baby, don't do this.

Connection is available to the Long Island Rail Road

and Amtrak.

What's wrong, my man?

What's with the frown?

You need a hug?

You need a fist?

All right. So, it says to make sure baby bird is on its back.

And then, as you gently hold the eye dropper,

feed it a few drops.

Does it say to give it energy drink?

Well, I was all out of nectar.

It'll be dead by Tuesday.

Well, I am not giving up on it.

You know, I invited you birding to relieve your stress,

but it seems you've brought your stress to birding.

So... what?

Do I just do nothing?

Sometimes nothing is all you can do.

You can't save every bird,

and you can't win every case.

Aunt Toni, I know.

I know that failure's all a part of life.

I get it. But it doesn't mean I have to like it.

No, but you do need to get better at dealing with it,

'cause if you don't,

you're not gonna be any good to anybody.

All right.

You're right.

It's time to let go.

I was real proud of the way you fought off that squirrel.

He thought he had the angle on me,

but I was just too quick for him.

What's up, fam?

What it do?

You're doing too much.

Your mom texted me about the wallet. Any luck?

No, but we did time-travel.

And we saw a unicorn.

That ain't nothing but the 2 Train.

Where's your mom?

She said she needed some alone time.

Oh, what's in the shoebox?

Oh, uh, it was a baby house finch.

- Aw. - Can we see it?

Uh, it's not doing too great right now.

Come on. We've seen a dead bird.

Okay. All right, you two little sickos.

Um...

if you have nightmares, don't point your fingers at me.

It-It's moving. It's still alive.

Give it some space.

Oh, damn. A hawk.

I-I didn't see that coming.

All this bird talk

got me wanting some hot wings.

Baby girl, I found your wallet.

Thank you. How'd you find it?

Oh, it was a journey.

Had to catch three trains.

I passed a violinist,

I passed a mariachi band,

and I fought two subway rats.

Then I went to lost and found.

I can't believe it.

Yeah. Somebody turned it in.

New Yorkers always help out.

I hope this makes up for you losing it,

'cause I don't need you mad at me.

Daddy, I'm not mad at you.

I mean, I was.

But then I realized I was just mad at myself.

I know you had this empty-nester plan

of dancing around in your boxers,

eating popcorn and watching the Yankees game.

Hmm. Don't remind me.

But now we're back here, in your space,

and we should be home, in Minnesota.

You love Minnesota, right?

But isn't it a land of fields and farms

and a whole bunch of happy white people?

Daddy, there are plenty of Black people in Minnesota.

Yeah, but are they happy?

I was.

I loved being a Minnesotan.

I built a whole life there.

I had friends,

I was a member of the PTA.

I had a routine.

And now I might have to start from scratch.

But not just by myself, with my kids.

Yo, Minnesota did have Prince and Alexander O'Neal.

Were you listening to anything I just said?

Yeah. And, yeah, I get it.

Being a mom and a dad is hard.

Believe me, I know.

I have an interview coming up.

And don't worry. I won't call a Uber.

Baby girl, I did a lot of thinking,

looking for that wallet.

Instead of you catching an Uber to work,

how about you just take a few steps to work,

and come work for me at the store?

Are you serious?

Deadass.

I could use your help, till you go back to Minnesota.

Who knows? Maybe you can become the next generation

of Crutchfield Flooring.

You won't regret it. Oh.

Oh, and, uh...

I'm definitely using that next-generation thing

to rub in Jake's face.

Damn skippy.

Baby girl, if you want to use a Uber from time to time,

it's okay with Daddy.

- You mean it? - I mean it.

Just use economy.

Oh, I only do Uber Black.

My girl. Keep it in the community.

Our daughter gonna be working at the store.

Better than her being in Minnesota.

Remember that time we went to see Prince,

and he was wearing those ass-out pants

that you went crazy about?

Our seats were so close that you could see all the baby hairs

on each booty cheek.

He sure dropped it like it was hot.

Then he picked it up when it was cold.

Baby,

I miss you...

...and love you.

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org

♪ Sometimes life can deal you ♪

♪ A messed-up hand ♪

- ♪ But when it hits the fan ♪ - ♪ Hits the ♪

♪ Never fear ♪

♪ The Crutch is here ♪

♪ Crutchfield, Crutchfield ♪

♪ He keeps it real ♪

- ♪ Crutchfield, whoa! ♪ - ♪ Whoa! ♪

What's that, bro bro?