All language subtitles for Crutch.S01E03.Emotional.Crutch.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-playWEB_track3_[eng]

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Original subtitles

Crutch is filmed in front of a live studio audience.

- Late night last night, huh? - Yeah.

Thanks for letting me sleep in, Dad.

What you mean?

You know what I mean.

You ain't do anything crazy to wake me up.

No early trash pick-ups,

no volcanic fire drills,

and no Luther greatest hits on full blast

to celebrate the sunrise.

You right.

I've been tough on you and you've been working hard,

so I let you sleep in.

Appreciate that.

- Hurry up. - I'm dying!

Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm trying to fix it now.

Dad, is the Wi-Fi down?

- I paid the bill. - Yeah. Hold on.

Oh, it's out.

It seems to be out in the whole area.

- What?! - What?!

You know how long it took me

to get to level 19?

I drop out of the group chat

and I know they're talking about me.

Okay. Here.

Why don't you just, uh,

tether to my hotspot.

Sorry, Dad. Technology, right?

Wrong. Two minutes ago, they was jonesing for Wi-Fi.

They're off their normal schedules

and they don't have the outlets they

used to have back at home.

No. No!

Got him.

Did you do something to the shower?

I turned off the hot water.

No hot showers after 10:00.

I knew you was being too nice to me.

Think of this as a three-and-a-half star hotel

and I'm your lovable innkeeper.

Enjoy your stay.

♪ Tells it like it is ♪

♪ Crutch is here ♪

- ♪ For friends, family, kids ♪ - Yo, it's Francois!

- ♪ Crutch is Crutchfield ♪ - ♪ Crutch. ♪

We need to find something for those kids to do

besides being on their devices all day.

If they didn't have all those devices

they wouldn't be socially challenged.

Hey, listen, put 'em in camp.

That's what me and your mother did with you two.

Camp for two kids costs a fortune now.

I might have a hookup for you.

My friend Gwen-- she runs a theater camp.

Theater camp? Oh, they would love that.

I can get them an audition. Me and Miss Gwen go way back.

Great. I'm gonna tell the kids

they might be going to go to theater camp!

I did theater.

I could have won a Tony.

♪ From a small town ♪

♪ To New York ♪

♪ You got to keep your feet on the ground ♪

♪ From downtown ♪

♪ To uptown. ♪

You don't want to see me.

You're right. I don't want to see you.

Yet you're always here.

All right, y'all. I'm heading out.

- Where you going? - Where you going?

What is this, a stop and frisk? I'm going to a Yankee game.

- By yourself? - Oh, nah.

A law school buddy of mine works at a firm that has a suite.

So, he could only, like, get, like, one ticket?

No, he gave me two. Two whole-ass tickets.

I'm bringing my boy Demorris 'cause last time I brought Rico.

- Last time? - Anyway,

uh, love to chat, but I got to go.

Uh, I want to get there early 'cause the tickets

give me access to this fancy restaurant

with free sushi and free steaks

and this all-you-can-eat cupcake cart.

Aw.

You look like you about to cry.

What son wouldn't want to take his father to a baseball game?

The kind of son whose father's been riding him really hard.

I'm just doing it so he don't get too comfortable.

Well, he's real comfortable at that Yankee game without you.

So, it's up to you to figure out why that is.

Okay...

Hey, hey.

What up, dawg?

What up, cuzzo?

Hey, yo, what that chair doing to you?

Oh, oh, oh. Man, this... this just chair yoga.

It's a TikTok thing, man.

Now that I'm a grandfather, Tina got me on this health kick.

Did you know that you can drink kale?

California's a wild place.

Anyway, Jake got box seats to a Yankee game

and didn't even take me.

- Shoot, that's tough, man. - I know.

I still remember taking him to his first game.

- That's always been our thing. - Well,

do you think it's because

you've been counting his toilet paper squares?

I heard about that.

I'm just preparing my boy to be a man.

Sometimes you got to give him that tough love.

Oh, okay. Tough love has its place, man,

but sometimes it crosses the line.

You remember when Uncle Ray hid your Jordans

to teach you a lesson on wasting money on sneakers?

Did that make you love him more

or did you want to let the air out of his tires?

That yoga got you talking in riddles.

Man, all I'm saying is the Yankees game

is Jake letting the air out of your tires.

I've been too hard on Jake.

Thanks, cuzzo.

Now I know what I got to do.

All right, man. Look, look, I got to go.

This chair yoga about to turn into recliner yoga.

What?

Nah. Nah, there's no way we can have that here.

Well, 'cause I don't know if it'll be a fun hang.

Well, if you must know, my dad has been on one.

Yeah, he's so annoying.

Sometimes I wish I had the dad from Family Matters, you know?

We'll figure it out.

I'll-I'll call y'all back, all right?

All right, peace.

Can't do what here?

Oh.

Game night. It's my turn to host.

But I already know what you're about to say.

But you didn't even ask me.

Okay.

Can I host game night here?

No.

Because you gonna do it at the store.

I'm-a set it all up.

I'm-a get the good liquor out, the dark stuff.

The stuff that put hair on your chest.

Thank you. That sounds cool.

I appreciate that, Pop. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

By the way, uh, we-we drink mocktails.

And, um,

chest hair ain't considered sexy no more.

- Y'all manscaping now? - Mm-hmm.

I hear it look like a generation of Ken dolls.

Oh!

Wonderful!

Oh, Toni's niece.

Uh, Mase and Lisa will be auditioning next.

You're more than welcome

to keep waiting in the lobby if you'd like.

Oh, no, ma'am. I-I'm sorry, but I...

I couldn't wait to meet you. I read up on you.

My kids would be so lucky to learn from you.

I heard you taught Savion Glover.

And we had a school of arts in Harlem because of you.

And you sang, too?

Is it true

you were the original Peaches

in Peaches & Herb?

Oh, and I'm so sorry,

but I had to screenshot this.

You were a Jet Beauty of the Week?

Well... thank you

for the unsolicited trip down memory lane.

Oh, and I baked you something.

Oh, just a...

Tater Tot hot dish.

It's a Minnesota delicacy.

Oh.

Can't wait.

Every time I think about delicious food,

I think Minnesota.

What's good.

Master Wan, you killed my family.

Now I must seek revenge.

I know all the styles.

Toad style, crane style,

cobra style, tiger style.

I'm no match for your dragon face style.

Were you lonely as a child?

What are you doing in here?

I saw flickering lights. I thought

somebody was robbing the place.

If you must know, I'm setting up game night for Jake.

I've been giving a lot of tough love,

now I'm giving some sweet love.

"Some sweet love."

So I can be the person he takes to the Yankee games,

like we used to do.

That is the worst plan ever.

You don't understand male bonding.

Game night is a night where we talk shit,

we drink liquor and we scratch our balls.

You might fit right in.

And there's a well somewhere that somebody dug

that you would fit right in.

Hey.

Do you hear how quiet it is?

Knocked out after one audition.

Imagine how great it's gonna be when they're doing full days.

Can't wait for the first day.

There ain't gonna be no first day.

They didn't get in.

What? They didn't get in?

I bet they messed up jazz hands.

Kids never spread their fingers.

It was you!

Well, what did I do?

First of all,

you lingered in her space way too long,

and nobody likes a lingerer.

Second of all,

you brought her a Tater Tot hot dish?

It's a delicacy.

I don't understand.

I was just being nice to her.

You were being Midwest nice.

Never getting to the point

and saying "sorry" all the time.

Well, what's wrong with apologies?

Nothing, when you do something

that you need to apologize for.

Well, I'm sorry.

Little girl, you are back in New York.

Ain't nobody got time for your apologies,

your small talk

or your unseasoned-ass Tater Tots.

Directness is currency here.

You should have told Miss Gwen what you needed

and bounced.

Where you going?

I got to go fix this.

I'm getting my kids in that camp.

Miss Gwen don't want to see you.

Oh, she gonna see me.

Okay! Well, I like that attitude.

- Let her know what it is. - I will.

And don't take no for an answer.

I won't.

Them kids ain't getting in that camp.

I got it all set up for you, man.

We got your dominoes over here.

We got your poker table over here.

We even got karate movies, man.

I know y'all don't drink,

so I brought you your favorite organic fruit juices.

- Looks delicious. - Yeah.

Dad, I got to be real, man.

You really came through on game night.

This is dope.

I'm here for y'all.

Nigel, my man.

Those kids still whooping your ass?

Man, social work

- is not for the weak. - Mm-hmm.

Every time you talk, Nigel, I want a beef patty.

Rico. Rico, you still taking those pictures?

Yeah, I just got back from a bikini shoot in Brazil.

Ooh. You hook up with one of those models?

Of course not.

That would be inappropriate.

Yeah.

You right, young man. You got plenty of time for that.

But if it was me doing a bikini shoot in Brazil,

there'd be a lot of C-section scars out there.

Marco, my man.

H-Hi, Mr. Crutchfield.

And by the way, it's Demorris.

You know who I'm talking to.

What's up with the mutt?

That's helping you get the ladies?

My Mercedes.

Pop, pop,

she's not a mutt.

She's an emotional support animal.

I know this animal better not emotionally

doo-doo on my floor.

Well, I'll leave it

to you fellas. I doubt

this'll ever happen, but if y'all

get strippers in here, close the blinds.

Remember, I'm still a pillar of the community.

Mr. Crutchfield, you're not staying?

Yeah. Dad, you can stay.

- You sure? - Yeah, what are you

talking about? Come chill.

Okay. Flaco!

Come park up. They said we could stay.

Bring the brown liquor.

Let me introduce you to my support animals.

So, what are we playing while we talk shit and bond?

Just a friendly card game. Watch and learn, Dad.

You'll pick up quick.

Hey, y'all listen to that last episode of the Doughboys pod?

They were dead on about Rice Krispie Treats.

There is no way that Rice Krispie Treats

are better than Fruit by the Foot.

Fruit by the Foot? Fruit by the F...

How you gonna be a universal snack

and not use the metric system?

What the hell are y'all talking about?

Uh, Doughboys. It's this podcast

where they rate classic snacks and they make bank.

So, you guys waste all y'all free time

listening to dudes talk about snacks?

Respectfully, snacks are the window into a man's soul.

Duly noted. All right, let's get started, y'all.

Let's play, fellas.

Okay, Dad, if I pick a question card and a regular card,

and the regular card is even, I answer the question.

If it's an odd number, I ask the question.

Does that make sense?

Now, I might listen to two fine ladies

- talk about snacks... - Pop, focus.

All right, it's a seven.

So, Nigel, when was the last time you cried?

Easy. When one of the kids I helped

thanked me in his GED speech.

That's beautiful, man. That's why we do it.

- That's why we do it. - That was touching, bro.

You're gonna make me cry.

What the fuck kind of game is this?

You know, Dad, why don't you, uh, pick a card.

There you go.

- Jack. - Oh...

What'd that mean? Did I win?

Well, in some ways.

Uh, that means you got to go around the table

and give everybody a compliment.

- I'm out. - Wait, wait, wait.

- What are you doing? Come on! - Mr. Crutchfield.

- Pop! - Out your mind.

What up, bro-bro?

I'm just grilling steak. Check it out.

What up, cuzzo?

I wish I was out there with you eating steaks, man.

They got me over here playing this corny question game.

- Did you even try yet? - Nope.

Look, man, my neighbor Dave

had me playing corny games all the time.

Cornhole, axe throwing, all kind of...

Hey, yo, Calvin want to play.

I-I did not say that.

You know what? All right, I'll try it.

Jake, pull me a card.

Okay. It's my cousin from California.

It's a four.

Ah. "What was your first heartbreak?"

Oh, okay.

So we going there, huh?

Not so fun, is it?

No, you know what?

No, I'm-a answer it.

Her name was Rochelle.

My dad introduced me to her,

and I was in love the first time I saw her.

Man. Me and Rochelle went places

that was beyond this world, man.

And then I came home one day.

And my dad said she wasn't mine no more.

Belonged to the neighbors.

I'm trying to tell you fellas, you just don't know

ecstasy until you are inside

a '77 Buick Riviera.

- Oh, boy. - Thank God.

I got to lock that back door.

Don't worry, I'm only gonna say two words.

I'm sorry.

That's not usually what people say

when their children don't get in.

Okay, well, I already used my two words, so...

O-Okay, I have a few more words.

Aunt Toni said I wasn't being direct,

but neither were you.

If I was taking too much of your time,

why didn't you just say, "If you keep talking,

your kids won't get in"?

Because you seem like one of those

pain-in-the-ass parents.

I am a pain in the ass!

Even to myself.

Can I be real with you for a second, Miss Gwen?

Suddenly, I'm a single mother with two kids

living on top of my dad and my brother,

and they're acting like children.

It's like I inherited two more kids.

Been there. My brother lived with me for three months.

What is it with these men and their chaos?

Right? I don't understand it.

I-I have to deal with them and then somehow also

find a job to provide for my kids.

And I just... I don't have any idea

how I'm gonna do any of it.

Hmm.

Pick a camp.

Any camp.

Ooh.

I want the weekday, all-day,

- with lunch included. - Done.

I got you.

See you tomorrow.

I did what I came here to do.

Ah! I'm back, baby!

Blat, blat, blat, blat!

Sorry.

Guys, you know, it wasn't until I got my own auto shop

that I was able to process those feelings.

Come on, wrap it up, Calvin.

You got these dudes in here crying like Viola Davis.

Hey,

thanks for letting me share, fellas.

You see that, Crutch?

It ain't that hard to share your emotions.

Look, all you got to do...

I never felt fully validated by my father.

One "attaboy" could have gone a long way.

Thanks for sharing that, Flaco.

But you're supposed to pick a card first.

I don't get this game.

How you know if anybody wins or not?

Well, it's not about winning, Dad.

It's about creating a... a-a forum to get our stuff out.

It's cathartic.

And the game creates a safe space

for express ourselves without judgment.

I'd rather get beat with a sock full of nickels.

In my days, men just held it in.

Yeah, yeah, that's why they all died at 56.

At some point, you got to talk trash.

You get it? This is game night. Here, look, I'll show you.

Hey, Demarco.

What bullshit condition is that mutt for?

She helps me deal with old men with no filter.

You see that? You seen that?

Now, that right there, my friend, was a comeback.

But if you ever call me old again,

I'm-a make that dog love me more than you.

- What? - And when you come visit,

you're only gonna be able to see her through the window.

Well, I'm uncomfortable.

And game night's over.

You're probably not getting invited to the next one, Papí.

Flaco, I should have left your ass in the storage closet.

Hey, Jake.

I was just listening to the Doughboys podcast,

and if you're not still mad at me,

maybe we could start our own podcast.

We could rate those skinny jeans that you like.

We could call it Who Wore It Tighter?

Or we could talk about how it makes us feel.

Oh!

I thought the city did something about the rat problem.

Then scurry your ass back to the subway.

Based on that corny apology, I guess game night

didn't get you closer to the Yankees suite.

I know I messed up. Just trying to make things right.

Okay, I'll take pity on your emotionally stunted ass.

He's at that new speakeasy.

Thank you.

Before you get up, burn that couch.

Hey, man, I don't know the password.

Jamal, is that you?

I'd recognize that breath anywhere.

Open the door, Jamal. Open the door now.

I'm gonna tell everybody in the neighborhood

you doo-doo'd on your--

Jamal.

How'd you find me?

I'm your father. I'm always gonna know where you are.

Uh-huh. Aunt Toni?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Could I get a strong island iced tea?

Dad, they don't take orders. They-They're mixologists.

You got to trust 'em.

Tell me what mood you're in.

Booze it up.

Look, I came here to make things right.

I want you to want to spend time with me.

Well, if you wanted to do that,

the game was the perfect opportunity.

It's literally a game about getting to know each other.

But you too scared.

Scared? Ain't nobody scared.

My name is Crutchfield. I'm from Harlem.

- I ain't scared of nothing. - Dad...

Matter of fact, me and you-- let's play right now.

- Me and you. Let's go. - We're at a bar.

- What is wrong with you? - Let's do it, son.

Come on, Dad.

We in a speakeasy. Speak easily.

Mm-hmm.

What's your biggest fear?

Pass. I told you I ain't scared of nothing.

Fine. Fine, fine, fine.

Uh...

What's your biggest regret?

You. Next question.

Oh! No. Nah, nah, nah.

'Cause you wouldn't brag to all your friends

that you had a lawyer as a son if it was, so for real,

what's your biggest regret?

Not going to college. No, no, wait.

Quitting the trumpet when I was 14.

Oh. I-I didn't know that about you, Dad.

I didn't know you wanted to play the trumpet.

I was Miles Davis minus the "heron."

It's called heroin, but we say "heron."

'Cause if you try it once, you hooked from "her-on."

Thanks for sharing that, Dad.

So... expressing your emotions is how y'all bond?

Yeah, that-that's how we bond.

My turn.

Have you ever not been taken to a Yankee game?

- It doesn't say that, Dad. - That's how I feel, man.

I was hurt when you ain't take me to the Yankee game.

That used to be our thing.

You know I like cupcake hearts and surf and turf.

You know why I didn't take you to the Yankee game?

Why?

We haven't had a real conversation

since I moved in the house.

It's been this constant... sparring.

So I decided to speak your language.

You spoke it loud and clear.

Thanks, Pop.

I didn't come to hear y'all bond.

I came to hear some jazz.

All right, it's Auntie's turn.

Let her go before the full moon comes up.

Okay.

What does a jack mean again?

Oh, man,

that means you got to give Dad a compliment.

I'm out.

Best game ever.

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org

♪ Sometimes life can deal you ♪

♪ A messed-up hand ♪

- ♪ But when it hits the fan ♪ - ♪ Hits the ♪

♪ Never fear ♪

♪ The Crutch is here ♪

♪ Crutchfield, Crutchfield ♪

♪ He keeps it real ♪

- ♪ Crutchfield, whoa! ♪ - ♪ Whoa! ♪

What's that, bro bro?

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