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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,541 --> 00:00:05,542 Wait, what the hell? 2 00:00:05,576 --> 00:00:07,944 Why are you wearing somebody's old-ass tablecloth? 3 00:00:08,746 --> 00:00:11,481 Oscar's coming over and I broke his heart. 4 00:00:11,515 --> 00:00:14,818 So I feel like, as the dumper, I owe it to the injured party, 5 00:00:14,852 --> 00:00:17,420 i.e. the dumpee, to not flaunt my feminine wiles 6 00:00:17,455 --> 00:00:19,656 in this, his time of need. 7 00:00:19,690 --> 00:00:21,424 Well, mission accomplished. 8 00:00:21,459 --> 00:00:23,426 Why do you even own that? 9 00:00:23,461 --> 00:00:25,462 It was ten years ago, it was an art fair, 10 00:00:25,496 --> 00:00:27,464 I was probably high on kettle corn. 11 00:00:28,266 --> 00:00:30,967 Wait, is all that Oscar's? You know the move here 12 00:00:31,002 --> 00:00:32,102 is to sell what you can and throw the rest 13 00:00:32,136 --> 00:00:33,904 of that crap in the river. 14 00:00:33,938 --> 00:00:35,705 Oh, great. So, then I'll be home, watching the news, 15 00:00:35,740 --> 00:00:37,507 and they'll be dragging a dead body from the river 16 00:00:37,541 --> 00:00:39,009 and it'll be wearing Oscar's Imagine Dragons T-shirt? 17 00:00:39,043 --> 00:00:40,277 How will I feel then? 18 00:00:40,588 --> 00:00:43,924 - Wait, isn't this your tablet? - Oh, yeah, 19 00:00:43,958 --> 00:00:45,926 but Oscar used to play Grand Theft Auto on it. 20 00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:48,595 I thought beating up pimps might be good for him right now. 21 00:00:48,629 --> 00:00:51,464 Fine, but he is not getting these brownies that you made. 22 00:00:51,499 --> 00:00:53,500 No, they're chocolate scotcheroos, his favorite. 23 00:00:53,534 --> 00:00:55,836 You're giving him a damn breakup gift basket. 24 00:00:55,870 --> 00:00:57,571 You think I should skip all this and just 25 00:00:57,605 --> 00:00:58,772 read him the haiku I wrote? 26 00:00:58,806 --> 00:01:00,974 Do not... I repeat, do not... 27 00:01:01,008 --> 00:01:02,876 read Oscar a haiku. 28 00:01:02,910 --> 00:01:04,110 You haven't even heard it... 29 00:01:04,145 --> 00:01:06,079 No, oh, eh! 30 00:01:06,113 --> 00:01:08,815 Haikus and scotcheroos. Crazy person. 31 00:01:13,754 --> 00:01:15,689 Hey. 32 00:01:15,723 --> 00:01:17,757 Hey, come on in. 33 00:01:21,062 --> 00:01:22,829 Here. This is all your stuff. 34 00:01:22,864 --> 00:01:24,798 Okay, right to it. 35 00:01:24,832 --> 00:01:28,168 Lemon-scented and ForceFlex. Bougie. 36 00:01:30,104 --> 00:01:31,638 That mine? 37 00:01:31,672 --> 00:01:33,640 Yeah. And-and a few extra things, too. 38 00:01:33,674 --> 00:01:35,642 I-I thought you should have custody of our shared 39 00:01:35,676 --> 00:01:38,578 froyo punch card. Two more and you get a free sundae. 40 00:01:38,613 --> 00:01:40,680 Premium toppings excluded. 41 00:01:40,715 --> 00:01:42,415 Okay. 42 00:01:42,450 --> 00:01:43,717 And in your email you'll be finding a link 43 00:01:43,751 --> 00:01:45,719 to a Spotify breakup playlist. 44 00:01:45,753 --> 00:01:47,153 80 minutes of songs that speak to 45 00:01:47,188 --> 00:01:48,822 where your heart is right now. 46 00:01:48,856 --> 00:01:50,557 How much of it is Adele? 47 00:01:50,591 --> 00:01:52,158 Well, I think the right amount. 48 00:01:52,193 --> 00:01:53,793 So, all of it. 49 00:01:54,996 --> 00:01:56,496 Okay. 50 00:01:56,530 --> 00:01:58,832 - Oscar, can we talk? - About what? 51 00:01:58,866 --> 00:02:00,834 Well, you-you know I feel horrible 52 00:02:00,868 --> 00:02:02,702 about how this went down. 53 00:02:02,737 --> 00:02:05,005 You feel horrible? 54 00:02:05,039 --> 00:02:06,973 I had to bring back an engagement ring. 55 00:02:07,008 --> 00:02:08,675 The guy looked at me like I was some kind of loser 56 00:02:08,709 --> 00:02:10,644 who got his proposal shot down. 57 00:02:10,678 --> 00:02:13,680 You know why? 'Cause I am. 58 00:02:16,651 --> 00:02:18,151 Love, big, and gorgeous, 59 00:02:18,185 --> 00:02:21,154 a bear's life in the forest, 60 00:02:21,188 --> 00:02:23,723 now, hibernation. 61 00:02:23,758 --> 00:02:25,692 Goodbye. 62 00:02:30,965 --> 00:02:34,067 Oscar heartbroken, 63 00:02:34,101 --> 00:02:37,070 art fair kettle corn yummy, 64 00:02:37,104 --> 00:02:39,572 play, sad playlist, 65 00:02:39,607 --> 00:02:41,141 play. 66 00:02:52,153 --> 00:02:54,788 This goes out to all the broken hearts out there. 67 00:02:54,822 --> 00:02:57,157 And all the breakers of those hearts. 68 00:02:57,959 --> 00:03:00,927 And to you, cookie dough ice cream, because you... 69 00:03:00,962 --> 00:03:02,996 are the real hero today. 70 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,735 ♪ I've been alone with you ♪ 71 00:03:08,769 --> 00:03:12,105 ♪ Inside my mind ♪ 72 00:03:12,139 --> 00:03:15,675 ♪ And in my dreams I've kissed your lips ♪ 73 00:03:15,710 --> 00:03:17,544 ♪ A thousand times ♪ 74 00:03:17,578 --> 00:03:19,612 ♪ I sometimes see you 75 00:03:19,647 --> 00:03:23,550 ♪ Pass outside my door ♪ 76 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:29,055 ♪ Hello ♪ 77 00:03:29,090 --> 00:03:32,625 ♪ Is it me you're looking for? ♪ 78 00:03:32,660 --> 00:03:35,528 Yes, it is, 'cause we're concerned. 79 00:03:35,563 --> 00:03:38,698 Why? I'm great. I'm great. Ah. 80 00:03:38,733 --> 00:03:40,567 Are you sure? Because you took your lunch break 81 00:03:40,601 --> 00:03:43,837 three hours ago and now you are shotgunning boxed wine 82 00:03:43,871 --> 00:03:45,805 like you just got into Sigma Chi. 83 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:48,675 I hate seeing you so upset. 84 00:03:48,709 --> 00:03:50,710 There, there. 85 00:03:50,745 --> 00:03:53,313 Ah, the comfort of a mother's touch. 86 00:03:53,347 --> 00:03:54,981 Brought you a sandwich and fries. Why don't you 87 00:03:55,016 --> 00:03:58,918 have some of this and a little less peach moscato? 88 00:03:58,953 --> 00:04:01,588 I don't deserve fries. Fries are for good people, 89 00:04:01,622 --> 00:04:04,624 like Oscar or Jesus or Savannah Guthrie. 90 00:04:04,658 --> 00:04:05,992 With those abs, 91 00:04:06,027 --> 00:04:08,928 there's no way Jesus ate fries. 92 00:04:09,930 --> 00:04:12,132 Randy, did I just throw away my only chance at love 93 00:04:12,166 --> 00:04:13,867 and now I'm destined to die alone? 94 00:04:13,901 --> 00:04:17,137 Probably. There, there. 95 00:04:17,171 --> 00:04:19,639 Can you pat me with the hand that doesn't have rings on it? 96 00:04:19,673 --> 00:04:22,008 Oh, I'm sorry, that's my wedding ring. 97 00:04:22,043 --> 00:04:24,077 I guess you wouldn't understand. 98 00:04:25,713 --> 00:04:29,783 Oh, Kat, it-it's time to stop feeling sorry for yourself. 99 00:04:29,817 --> 00:04:32,018 Get back on your feet and live your life. 100 00:04:32,053 --> 00:04:34,320 - How am I supposed to do that? - Ooh! I don't know. 101 00:04:34,355 --> 00:04:36,056 But maybe first take a shower, 102 00:04:36,090 --> 00:04:38,258 because you smell like cheap wine and sadness. 103 00:04:38,292 --> 00:04:41,027 And just a kiss of B.O. 104 00:04:41,062 --> 00:04:43,029 Yeah, get out of the house. Go get some dinner. 105 00:04:43,064 --> 00:04:45,698 You know, after that shower. 106 00:04:45,733 --> 00:04:47,634 Well, who wants to have dinner with me tonight? 107 00:04:47,668 --> 00:04:50,136 Oh, tonight? Nicole and I are going on a riverboat cruise. 108 00:04:50,171 --> 00:04:51,938 Carter's working and I have class. 109 00:04:51,972 --> 00:04:54,007 Sheila and I are going to see Dolly Parton. 110 00:04:54,041 --> 00:04:55,275 But we could skip it. 111 00:04:55,309 --> 00:04:57,777 Shut your stupid little mouth. 112 00:04:57,812 --> 00:04:59,145 I'm sorry, 113 00:04:59,180 --> 00:05:01,714 it's just... it's Dolly. 114 00:05:01,749 --> 00:05:03,149 No, actually, this is better. You know, 115 00:05:03,184 --> 00:05:05,085 I need to get used to being alone again. 116 00:05:05,119 --> 00:05:06,719 Yeah, I'll take myself out to dinner. 117 00:05:06,754 --> 00:05:08,755 There you go. You spent 118 00:05:08,789 --> 00:05:11,091 the first 40 years of your life alone, you can do 40 more. 119 00:05:12,326 --> 00:05:14,227 In a good way. 120 00:05:17,264 --> 00:05:19,199 Hi there. Someone else joining you? 121 00:05:19,233 --> 00:05:23,336 Nope, party of one. Or should I say party of fun. 122 00:05:23,370 --> 00:05:25,805 Can I get you something to drink? 123 00:05:25,840 --> 00:05:27,006 Complimentary bread? 124 00:05:27,041 --> 00:05:28,775 I'll take a martini 125 00:05:28,809 --> 00:05:31,244 and bread that tells me I'm pretty. 126 00:05:31,278 --> 00:05:33,980 Complimentary? Wordpl... I'll take the martini. 127 00:05:40,144 --> 00:05:41,678 Ooh. 128 00:05:41,712 --> 00:05:44,647 Cloudy with a 20% chance of rain tomorrow. 129 00:05:44,682 --> 00:05:47,584 Okay. 130 00:05:47,618 --> 00:05:50,253 Software update? Uh, yes, please. 131 00:05:54,291 --> 00:05:55,725 How you two doing tonight? 132 00:05:57,328 --> 00:05:59,162 I like your top. Very Meghan Markle. 133 00:05:59,196 --> 00:06:01,131 Thank you. 134 00:06:02,333 --> 00:06:03,800 Is that the risotto? I was looking at that. 135 00:06:03,834 --> 00:06:05,001 How's the mouth feel? 136 00:06:05,036 --> 00:06:06,336 It's good. 137 00:06:06,370 --> 00:06:08,705 Four stars from my table-neighbor. 138 00:06:11,242 --> 00:06:13,676 - Here you go. - Thank you. Oh, 139 00:06:13,711 --> 00:06:15,145 Oh, she forgot my bread. Guess she's trying 140 00:06:15,179 --> 00:06:17,280 to get her steps in. 141 00:06:17,314 --> 00:06:19,215 Hey, Kitty Kat. 142 00:06:20,785 --> 00:06:22,085 Nick? 143 00:06:22,119 --> 00:06:24,354 He owns the sandwich shop down the street. 144 00:06:24,388 --> 00:06:26,356 So annoying, so full of himself, 145 00:06:26,390 --> 00:06:28,925 so chiseled and buff. Blech. 146 00:06:28,959 --> 00:06:31,227 Eating by yourself? 147 00:06:31,262 --> 00:06:34,064 - Uh, yes. Taking myself on a little date. - Hm. 148 00:06:34,098 --> 00:06:37,200 I'll take lamest Friday night for 500, Ken. 149 00:06:37,234 --> 00:06:39,302 Uncalled for. 150 00:06:39,336 --> 00:06:41,905 For your information, I'm having a lovely time, and... 151 00:06:41,939 --> 00:06:43,740 Why are you sitting down? 152 00:06:43,774 --> 00:06:45,175 Well, 'cause I don't like eating standing up. 153 00:06:45,209 --> 00:06:46,843 Ooh, that a martini? 154 00:06:46,877 --> 00:06:49,012 Uh, it's my-tini. 155 00:06:49,046 --> 00:06:50,947 My-tini? 156 00:06:50,981 --> 00:06:53,183 You know, that kind of wordplay might be why you're alone. 157 00:06:59,156 --> 00:07:00,824 What's up, baby? 158 00:07:00,858 --> 00:07:03,693 Oh, hey. What-what are you doing here? 159 00:07:03,727 --> 00:07:06,663 In my home. Alone. 160 00:07:06,697 --> 00:07:09,099 Oh, I spilled cherry syrup on myself at the bar. 161 00:07:09,133 --> 00:07:10,266 Max thought I got stabbed. 162 00:07:10,301 --> 00:07:11,968 That boy is so sheltered. 163 00:07:12,002 --> 00:07:14,604 I mean, I also yelled, "Aah! I got stabbed!" 164 00:07:15,806 --> 00:07:17,173 Anyway, your place is closer than mine, 165 00:07:17,208 --> 00:07:18,641 so I came here to clean up. 166 00:07:18,676 --> 00:07:19,843 Well, how did you get in? 167 00:07:19,877 --> 00:07:20,944 Max gave me a key. 168 00:07:20,978 --> 00:07:22,278 Mm. 169 00:07:22,313 --> 00:07:24,047 So, how was art history? 170 00:07:24,081 --> 00:07:26,382 Oh, dull. Two hours of impressionists... 171 00:07:26,417 --> 00:07:28,218 it's blurry, we get it. 172 00:07:28,252 --> 00:07:31,654 Well, uh, maybe I can help liven up your day. 173 00:07:31,689 --> 00:07:33,923 You want to, you know... 174 00:07:37,795 --> 00:07:39,863 Or you can vacuum that couch 175 00:07:39,897 --> 00:07:41,931 because you eat like a first grader at story time. 176 00:07:41,966 --> 00:07:45,135 What if we, uh... 177 00:07:45,169 --> 00:07:47,036 Right now? 178 00:07:47,071 --> 00:07:48,838 And then I'll vacuum after? 179 00:07:48,873 --> 00:07:50,240 Okay. 180 00:07:53,744 --> 00:07:55,345 I'll vacuum now. 181 00:07:58,082 --> 00:08:00,216 So, yeah, Louisville Magazine wants to do an article about me 182 00:08:00,251 --> 00:08:02,118 calling me the charcuterie cutie. 183 00:08:02,153 --> 00:08:04,254 I mean, I didn't come up with it, 184 00:08:04,288 --> 00:08:05,455 but you can tweet me... 185 00:08:05,489 --> 00:08:09,058 @Charcuterie_QT. 186 00:08:09,093 --> 00:08:10,693 I bet you a hundred bucks this guy 187 00:08:10,728 --> 00:08:12,695 doesn't ask a single thing about me. 188 00:08:12,730 --> 00:08:15,265 So, what's going on with you? How are things at the cat café? 189 00:08:15,299 --> 00:08:17,400 Well, obviously, I can't pay each of you $100. 190 00:08:17,434 --> 00:08:21,171 But isn't what we have better than money? 191 00:08:21,205 --> 00:08:23,106 Did you just ask about me? 192 00:08:23,140 --> 00:08:25,108 Yeah. How's business? 193 00:08:25,142 --> 00:08:27,010 Good. I mean, 194 00:08:27,044 --> 00:08:29,145 kind of thought by now I'd be in a position 195 00:08:29,180 --> 00:08:32,815 to buy my building, but I did just get a new cat tree. 196 00:08:32,850 --> 00:08:35,451 I'm just gonna smile and pretend that that's not pathetic. 197 00:08:35,486 --> 00:08:37,020 And I'm just gonna smile and pretend like 198 00:08:37,054 --> 00:08:39,155 you're not a giant douche. 199 00:08:39,190 --> 00:08:43,092 I normally suck at comebacks, but that was pretty good, right? 200 00:08:43,127 --> 00:08:45,295 I am at most a medium douche. But, hey, 201 00:08:45,329 --> 00:08:47,764 buying your building would be a good investment. 202 00:08:47,798 --> 00:08:49,966 Yeah. Just, I'm starting to think about retirement. 203 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:52,035 Plus, I could put a billboard of myself on the roof 204 00:08:52,069 --> 00:08:54,837 that says, "Yo, Louisville, I own this bitch." 205 00:08:55,673 --> 00:08:58,374 By the way, where's your boyfriend? 206 00:08:58,409 --> 00:09:00,777 Um, actually, Oscar and I broke up. 207 00:09:00,811 --> 00:09:02,245 Oh, man, I'm sorry. 208 00:09:02,279 --> 00:09:04,080 Hey, relationships are tough. 209 00:09:04,114 --> 00:09:06,316 I thought I'd be on my third wife by now. 210 00:09:06,350 --> 00:09:08,418 You really think three women would marry you? 211 00:09:08,452 --> 00:09:11,454 In my mind, one and three are the same woman. 212 00:09:11,488 --> 00:09:13,923 If I can fool her once, I can fool her twice. 213 00:09:13,958 --> 00:09:15,325 And wife number two 214 00:09:15,359 --> 00:09:16,826 would just go back to being the nanny. 215 00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:19,195 Exactly. 216 00:09:19,230 --> 00:09:22,298 Wait, am I having a good time? 217 00:09:26,003 --> 00:09:28,438 I am having a good time. 218 00:09:28,472 --> 00:09:31,274 Rebound sex is awesome. 219 00:09:31,308 --> 00:09:32,742 Excuse me. 220 00:09:39,443 --> 00:09:41,383 Oh, dear. 221 00:09:41,413 --> 00:09:45,383 This seemed like such a good idea last night. 222 00:09:45,413 --> 00:09:47,583 Nick. 223 00:09:47,623 --> 00:09:49,123 Nick? 224 00:09:51,353 --> 00:09:52,723 Still breathing. 225 00:09:53,823 --> 00:09:55,623 Still beating. 226 00:09:55,663 --> 00:09:57,663 Still taut and juicy. 227 00:09:59,663 --> 00:10:01,803 Nick. 228 00:10:01,833 --> 00:10:03,403 Nick! 229 00:10:03,433 --> 00:10:05,703 I'm new to casual sex. Is this normal? 230 00:10:11,433 --> 00:10:14,133 Yeah, hey, Randi, um... 231 00:10:14,163 --> 00:10:16,133 can you come up here for a second? 232 00:10:16,163 --> 00:10:17,733 Yeah, and if you've got 'em, um, 233 00:10:17,773 --> 00:10:19,803 bring jumper cables. 234 00:10:19,833 --> 00:10:23,543 Well, look what the Kat dragged in. 235 00:10:23,573 --> 00:10:25,343 Ha, ha, ha, very clever. 236 00:10:25,373 --> 00:10:27,473 Can you holster your wit and help me wake him? 237 00:10:27,513 --> 00:10:28,713 Well, what did you do to him? 238 00:10:28,743 --> 00:10:30,843 I did all the, you know, 239 00:10:30,883 --> 00:10:32,453 good sex stuff. 240 00:10:32,483 --> 00:10:35,153 Which obviously left him depleted. 241 00:10:35,183 --> 00:10:36,683 Or it was his sleeping pills. 242 00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:38,493 It was the sex stuff. 243 00:10:38,523 --> 00:10:40,323 Look, Kat, I'm all for you 244 00:10:40,363 --> 00:10:42,823 getting your spice where it's nice, but Nick... really? 245 00:10:42,863 --> 00:10:44,733 Trust me, I don't want people to know. Just help me 246 00:10:44,763 --> 00:10:46,633 - get him to the shower. - Okay. 247 00:10:46,663 --> 00:10:48,403 Oh, wait, wait, wait. Does he have boxers on? 248 00:10:48,433 --> 00:10:49,533 'Cause I do not want to start my day 249 00:10:49,563 --> 00:10:51,103 with all that flopping at me. 250 00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:54,173 We're good. Flopper in the cage. 251 00:10:56,303 --> 00:10:59,473 - Okay, just... I'll get... - All right. Okay. 252 00:10:59,513 --> 00:11:02,813 - Okay. - Ooh. 253 00:11:02,843 --> 00:11:04,683 Was he this heavy when he was on top of you? 254 00:11:04,713 --> 00:11:06,783 Actually, I was the one who was on t... 255 00:11:06,813 --> 00:11:08,343 - You know what, never mind. Just go over there. - Okay, okay. 256 00:11:08,353 --> 00:11:10,183 - Got it? - Got it. 257 00:11:10,223 --> 00:11:12,353 Three, two, one. 258 00:11:12,393 --> 00:11:15,823 Oh. Uh... - Oh, wait... 259 00:11:15,863 --> 00:11:19,833 Is this your first threesome? 260 00:11:19,863 --> 00:11:21,433 Okay, new plan, new plan. 261 00:11:21,463 --> 00:11:22,803 We leave him a note 262 00:11:22,833 --> 00:11:23,903 and I tell him to go out the front door. 263 00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:25,433 That way no one'll see him. 264 00:11:25,473 --> 00:11:27,273 Okay. That'll work. 265 00:11:27,303 --> 00:11:29,403 But why does it smell like stripper in here? 266 00:11:29,443 --> 00:11:31,303 Oh, strawberry love oil. 267 00:11:31,343 --> 00:11:32,543 My mom gives it to me every Hanukkah. 268 00:11:32,573 --> 00:11:34,443 It's kosher. 269 00:11:36,313 --> 00:11:37,783 Hey Randi, can I get a coffee? 270 00:11:37,813 --> 00:11:39,253 We're out. 271 00:11:39,283 --> 00:11:40,883 You just gave some to that guy. 272 00:11:40,923 --> 00:11:42,523 Oh, well, that guy didn't give my boyfriend 273 00:11:42,553 --> 00:11:44,353 a key to my apartment. 274 00:11:44,393 --> 00:11:46,423 Come on, it's not that big a deal. 275 00:11:46,453 --> 00:11:49,263 Aw, well, neither is making your own damn coffee. 276 00:11:49,293 --> 00:11:52,163 Phil, can I get a coffee? 277 00:11:52,193 --> 00:11:55,163 Sorry, I'm team Randi. She scares me. 278 00:11:56,563 --> 00:11:58,633 I got you. She doesn't scare me. 279 00:11:58,673 --> 00:12:01,303 But if she asks, you got this out of the garbage. 280 00:12:01,343 --> 00:12:03,273 Hey, Sheila. How's it going? 281 00:12:03,303 --> 00:12:04,673 Oh, I was just accosted 282 00:12:04,713 --> 00:12:07,843 by a pack of youths begging for money. 283 00:12:07,883 --> 00:12:10,583 Mother, those are Girl Scouts selling cookies. 284 00:12:10,613 --> 00:12:13,413 Giving them a name only legitimizes them. 285 00:12:14,553 --> 00:12:16,183 How was your evening? 286 00:12:16,983 --> 00:12:20,323 Fine. I-I took myself out, it was fine. 287 00:12:20,353 --> 00:12:21,863 What'd you do? 288 00:12:21,893 --> 00:12:23,723 Just went to dinner. 289 00:12:23,763 --> 00:12:25,293 And then what? 290 00:12:25,333 --> 00:12:26,663 Why do you assume there's a "then what"? 291 00:12:26,693 --> 00:12:29,263 There was no "then what." Back off, Max. 292 00:12:29,303 --> 00:12:32,173 I am not impressed with the customer service today. 293 00:12:35,803 --> 00:12:37,403 Uh, Kat? 294 00:12:37,443 --> 00:12:38,843 Oh, oh, this is not good. 295 00:12:38,873 --> 00:12:42,283 Hey Kitty Kat, can I get a coffee to go? 296 00:12:42,313 --> 00:12:45,683 Oh, my. It appears Ms. Silver had a gentleman caller. 297 00:12:46,983 --> 00:12:49,323 So there was a "then what." 298 00:12:49,353 --> 00:12:51,893 Katharine, I didn't know you had it in you. 299 00:12:51,923 --> 00:12:54,753 Oh, she had it in her. 300 00:12:54,793 --> 00:12:57,493 Um... what are-what are you doing down here? 301 00:12:57,533 --> 00:12:59,463 Didn't you get my note? 302 00:12:59,493 --> 00:13:01,733 Yeah, "Last night was great. Please go out the front door." 303 00:13:01,763 --> 00:13:04,303 Not this front door. The front door to my apartment. 304 00:13:04,333 --> 00:13:05,833 A-And I didn't write "last night was great." 305 00:13:05,873 --> 00:13:06,933 I wrote "I had a great time." 306 00:13:06,973 --> 00:13:08,843 The sex was great, you know, 307 00:13:08,873 --> 00:13:11,303 and so what if the sex was great? I deserve great sex. 308 00:13:11,343 --> 00:13:12,413 Wrong front door, Nick! 309 00:13:20,683 --> 00:13:22,623 Hey, baby. You want some eggs? 310 00:13:22,653 --> 00:13:24,953 What are you doing here again? 311 00:13:24,993 --> 00:13:26,953 I thought I'd squeeze in a nap during my lunch break. 312 00:13:26,993 --> 00:13:28,793 Why are you wearing my bonnet? 313 00:13:28,823 --> 00:13:31,993 Oh, I didn't bring my own. I got to protect the gold. 314 00:13:32,033 --> 00:13:33,663 And my robe? 315 00:13:33,693 --> 00:13:35,663 If I'm napping, I'm taking my pants off. 316 00:13:35,703 --> 00:13:37,963 Plus, this is buttery soft and smells amazing. 317 00:13:38,003 --> 00:13:39,433 How do you do that? 318 00:13:39,473 --> 00:13:41,873 I wash it. But who let you in? 319 00:13:41,903 --> 00:13:44,243 I did. Max gave me the key, remember? 320 00:13:44,273 --> 00:13:46,743 - Wh... I thought you gave that back. - Why would I do that? 321 00:13:46,773 --> 00:13:49,643 Because I am not ready for you to have a key to my apartment. 322 00:13:49,683 --> 00:13:52,253 What's the big deal? You have the key to my heart. 323 00:13:52,283 --> 00:13:55,553 No. No, no, no, that was your lame-ass Valentine's Day present 324 00:13:55,583 --> 00:13:56,983 because you forgot. 325 00:13:57,023 --> 00:13:58,693 I got news for you: 326 00:13:58,723 --> 00:14:00,953 your free massage coupons just expired. 327 00:14:00,993 --> 00:14:03,363 Carter, you can't just come over here whenever you want. 328 00:14:03,393 --> 00:14:06,363 - Well, why not? - Because it's too much like we're living together. 329 00:14:06,393 --> 00:14:07,763 Oh, and I guess that's a bad thing. 330 00:14:07,803 --> 00:14:10,003 Look at yourself. It's not a good thing. 331 00:14:10,033 --> 00:14:12,273 Fine. I'll go drain my bubble bath, 332 00:14:12,303 --> 00:14:14,703 blow out the candles and leave. 333 00:14:20,873 --> 00:14:23,143 - Hey, Kat. - What's going on? 334 00:14:23,173 --> 00:14:24,703 Can I get a double bourbon? 335 00:14:24,743 --> 00:14:26,773 You know it's 2:00 in the afternoon. 336 00:14:26,813 --> 00:14:28,743 I need a bartender, not a clock. 337 00:14:28,783 --> 00:14:30,543 I don't know what's going on, 338 00:14:30,583 --> 00:14:32,883 but this is not a good day to be a man. 339 00:14:32,913 --> 00:14:34,653 - You okay? - Yeah, 340 00:14:34,683 --> 00:14:36,223 I'm sorry. Just, life keeps 341 00:14:36,253 --> 00:14:38,423 kicking me right in my girl balls. 342 00:14:38,453 --> 00:14:39,923 Still upset about Oscar? 343 00:14:39,953 --> 00:14:42,423 No. I mean, yes, but, 344 00:14:42,463 --> 00:14:43,923 it's, uh... 345 00:14:43,963 --> 00:14:45,563 - talking about the other stuff. - Oh. 346 00:14:45,593 --> 00:14:48,363 Is this about you and Nick getting busy? 347 00:14:48,403 --> 00:14:50,303 Did you tell him? 348 00:14:50,333 --> 00:14:53,273 Kat, come on, I care about you, I wouldn't do that. 349 00:14:53,303 --> 00:14:55,333 Your mother did. 350 00:14:55,373 --> 00:14:56,943 So what do I do about Nick? 351 00:14:56,973 --> 00:14:58,873 It was a one-night stand. You do the same thing I did 352 00:14:58,913 --> 00:15:00,873 when I hooked up with your roommate in college. 353 00:15:00,913 --> 00:15:02,443 That happened more than once. 354 00:15:02,483 --> 00:15:04,213 God, I miss college. 355 00:15:04,243 --> 00:15:05,953 Yeah. I never went to college. 356 00:15:05,983 --> 00:15:08,613 But I had a lot of one-night stands. 357 00:15:08,653 --> 00:15:11,423 Well, I have never had one before. What happens next? 358 00:15:11,453 --> 00:15:12,953 Nothing. You've done everything and everyone 359 00:15:12,993 --> 00:15:14,853 that needed to be done. 360 00:15:14,893 --> 00:15:16,593 Yeah. You had your fun. 361 00:15:16,623 --> 00:15:18,363 Now you just got to hope it isn't too awkward 362 00:15:18,393 --> 00:15:20,363 at your son's next parent-teacher conference. 363 00:15:21,833 --> 00:15:23,763 Well, I'm gonna see him all the time. 364 00:15:23,803 --> 00:15:26,633 Like, what do I do if he wants more of this? 365 00:15:26,673 --> 00:15:28,703 Sex moves. 366 00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:34,843 Hey, Brutus. Looking handsome. 367 00:15:34,883 --> 00:15:36,613 Keep up the good work. 368 00:15:36,643 --> 00:15:37,813 Oh, what about me? I'm handsome. I do good work. 369 00:15:37,813 --> 00:15:38,913 I've been told. 370 00:15:38,953 --> 00:15:40,913 By you. Last night. 371 00:15:40,953 --> 00:15:42,823 Three times. 372 00:15:42,853 --> 00:15:45,223 Damn these sex moves. 373 00:15:45,253 --> 00:15:48,223 Yeah, that's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. 374 00:15:48,263 --> 00:15:49,623 Talk away, Kitty Kat. 375 00:15:49,663 --> 00:15:52,263 Um, well, last night was fun, 376 00:15:52,293 --> 00:15:54,433 but it was kind of a low point for me. 377 00:15:54,463 --> 00:15:56,803 Like, this is forgetting to wear a bra 378 00:15:56,833 --> 00:15:58,663 on seventh grade picture day, and then 379 00:15:58,703 --> 00:16:01,873 this is you, like, way down here, 380 00:16:01,903 --> 00:16:03,543 below clogging the toilet 381 00:16:03,573 --> 00:16:05,543 at Captain Darby's Shrimp Boat after prom. 382 00:16:05,573 --> 00:16:07,673 Wow, awesome stories. 383 00:16:07,713 --> 00:16:09,743 You should go tell 'em on TikTok. 384 00:16:09,783 --> 00:16:12,583 Um, uh, yeah, so, I just wanted to make it clear 385 00:16:12,613 --> 00:16:15,253 that, uh, last night was a-a one-time thing. 386 00:16:15,283 --> 00:16:16,853 Okay. 387 00:16:16,883 --> 00:16:18,253 You know, hit it and quit it. 388 00:16:18,293 --> 00:16:19,593 Yep. 389 00:16:19,623 --> 00:16:20,723 Hump 'em and dump 'em. 390 00:16:20,753 --> 00:16:21,753 I got it. 391 00:16:21,793 --> 00:16:23,593 Sex-it and ex-it. 392 00:16:23,623 --> 00:16:25,733 Yes, I'm familiar with how one-night stands work. 393 00:16:25,763 --> 00:16:26,993 Okay, good, I'm just not in the headspace right now 394 00:16:26,993 --> 00:16:28,433 to take a lover. 395 00:16:28,463 --> 00:16:31,303 Wow, "headspace to take a lover." 396 00:16:31,333 --> 00:16:34,733 So, Lady Chatterly's closed her bedchambers, then? 397 00:16:34,773 --> 00:16:36,643 I'll see you around, Nick. 398 00:16:36,673 --> 00:16:38,743 Hey, you want to have breakup sex 399 00:16:38,773 --> 00:16:40,943 on a giant wheel of parmesan cheese in the back? 400 00:16:40,973 --> 00:16:42,813 What is wrong with you? 401 00:16:42,843 --> 00:16:45,553 How does he know just the right thing to say? 402 00:16:45,583 --> 00:16:47,583 Let's do this. 403 00:16:49,923 --> 00:16:53,523 All right, the score is nine to nine, next one wins. 404 00:16:54,523 --> 00:16:57,693 One, two, three. 405 00:16:59,063 --> 00:17:01,463 Oh, you're going down, little man. 406 00:17:01,503 --> 00:17:02,563 I'm big where it counts. 407 00:17:02,603 --> 00:17:04,563 Oh, that makes me uncomfortable. 408 00:17:04,603 --> 00:17:07,833 I meant my quads. But also the other thing. 409 00:17:07,873 --> 00:17:10,303 Oh! Did you just fart? 410 00:17:10,343 --> 00:17:11,903 You know that's an automatic forfeit. 411 00:17:11,943 --> 00:17:14,313 No. But I think I ripped my pants. 412 00:17:14,343 --> 00:17:15,443 You want to give up? 413 00:17:15,483 --> 00:17:17,483 - Hell no. - Oh... 414 00:17:18,483 --> 00:17:20,313 Uh, what are y'all doing? 415 00:17:20,353 --> 00:17:22,583 - Working. - Working. 416 00:17:22,623 --> 00:17:24,353 Can I talk to you for a second? 417 00:17:24,383 --> 00:17:26,623 Sure. 418 00:17:26,653 --> 00:17:28,693 I got to go change my pants. 419 00:17:31,833 --> 00:17:33,563 What's up? 420 00:17:33,593 --> 00:17:35,763 Not much. Just haven't seen you in a couple days. 421 00:17:35,803 --> 00:17:38,703 Yeah, yeah. Uh, I've been, uh, busy. 422 00:17:38,733 --> 00:17:40,503 Okay. Well, you want to come over tonight? 423 00:17:40,533 --> 00:17:42,503 Nah, I-I don't think so. 424 00:17:42,543 --> 00:17:45,003 Are you sure? 'Cause we can have dinner and then maybe, 425 00:17:45,043 --> 00:17:47,073 you know... 426 00:17:49,513 --> 00:17:52,353 It's been a long week. I'm kind of tired. 427 00:17:52,383 --> 00:17:54,353 Okay, what's going on? 428 00:17:54,383 --> 00:17:56,023 I was thinking that maybe I should 429 00:17:56,053 --> 00:17:59,553 take a step back from-from this, from us. 430 00:18:00,553 --> 00:18:02,863 - Wait, what? - I... I feel like 431 00:18:02,893 --> 00:18:03,923 you've been fighting this relationship 432 00:18:03,963 --> 00:18:05,093 every step of the way. 433 00:18:05,133 --> 00:18:07,133 Is this 'cause of the key thing? 434 00:18:07,163 --> 00:18:09,403 Because we both agreed we would take this slow. 435 00:18:09,433 --> 00:18:12,603 We were taking it any slower, we'd be going backwards. 436 00:18:13,603 --> 00:18:15,033 Wow. Well, 437 00:18:15,073 --> 00:18:17,743 sorry I'm not sticking to your schedule. 438 00:18:21,613 --> 00:18:24,483 Did you put my backup pants in the freezer? 439 00:18:24,513 --> 00:18:27,683 I'm not in a joking mood. But yeah, I did. 440 00:18:32,093 --> 00:18:33,823 Um, hey, Randi, I-I know 441 00:18:33,853 --> 00:18:35,053 you're having some problems with Carter. 442 00:18:35,093 --> 00:18:36,763 If you think it might help, 443 00:18:36,793 --> 00:18:39,863 I do have a "trouble with your boo" playlist. 444 00:18:39,893 --> 00:18:41,933 How much of it is Adele? 445 00:18:41,963 --> 00:18:43,433 Look, I can't help it if her songs 446 00:18:43,463 --> 00:18:45,603 apply to almost every situation. 447 00:18:45,633 --> 00:18:48,103 Well, actually, it would help to talk this out 448 00:18:48,143 --> 00:18:50,173 with someone who understands guy drama. 449 00:18:50,203 --> 00:18:52,103 Well, my dear, you've come to the right place. 450 00:18:52,143 --> 00:18:54,573 - I have a lot of... - Phil. 451 00:18:54,613 --> 00:18:57,913 Step into my office, darling. You can call me Dr. Phil. 452 00:19:00,113 --> 00:19:02,153 Hey. 453 00:19:02,183 --> 00:19:04,783 Hey. I'm, uh, glad you're here. We should probably talk. 454 00:19:04,823 --> 00:19:07,523 Oh, let me guess... the lady regrets her dalliances, 455 00:19:07,553 --> 00:19:10,593 both upon bed and upon cheese? 456 00:19:10,623 --> 00:19:13,693 Yes. That is never happening again. Especially not right now, 457 00:19:13,733 --> 00:19:15,533 'cause Randi and Phil are in the kitchen. 458 00:19:15,563 --> 00:19:17,003 Well, that's probably best, because 459 00:19:17,033 --> 00:19:19,033 I got a lot of work to do anyway. 460 00:19:19,073 --> 00:19:22,073 - I just came by to thank you for your idea. - What idea? 461 00:19:22,103 --> 00:19:23,603 Well, the other night you mentioned buying your building, 462 00:19:23,643 --> 00:19:25,173 so I looked into it. 463 00:19:25,213 --> 00:19:27,943 You-you looked into this building? My building? 464 00:19:27,983 --> 00:19:30,913 - Soon to be my building. - Your building? 465 00:19:30,943 --> 00:19:34,083 Yeah, I'm buying it. I'm gonna be your new landlord. 466 00:19:35,653 --> 00:19:37,823 This guy just found another way to screw me. 467 00:19:41,003 --> 00:19:43,643 He owns my building. He owns the room that I sleep in. 468 00:19:43,673 --> 00:19:46,043 And the room he sometimes sleeps in. 469 00:19:46,073 --> 00:19:47,613 Hey, that was just once. 470 00:19:47,643 --> 00:19:49,513 Mm, I heard it was more than once. 471 00:19:49,543 --> 00:19:51,783 How'd you hear that? I didn't tell anyone. 472 00:19:51,813 --> 00:19:53,313 You just told me. 473 00:19:53,353 --> 00:19:55,513 Oh, gosh. Well, what can I say? 474 00:19:55,553 --> 00:19:57,783 It's these unstoppable sex moves. 475 00:19:57,823 --> 00:19:59,453 Yeah. 476 00:20:02,523 --> 00:20:04,463 - Here. - What's this? 477 00:20:04,493 --> 00:20:07,463 - Just open it. - Whoa. 478 00:20:07,493 --> 00:20:11,463 My own robe. Won't flatter my figure like yours, but thanks. 479 00:20:11,503 --> 00:20:13,533 Check the pocket. 480 00:20:14,573 --> 00:20:16,673 - It's a key to my apartment. - Really? 481 00:20:16,703 --> 00:20:19,473 Yeah. You were right, I have been 482 00:20:19,513 --> 00:20:22,073 - fighting this relationship. - Why? 483 00:20:22,113 --> 00:20:24,043 Look, I already pay somebody by the hour to talk about it. 484 00:20:24,083 --> 00:20:26,113 Just trust me, I don't want to screw this up. 485 00:20:26,153 --> 00:20:27,683 Baby, I think we both know that 486 00:20:27,713 --> 00:20:29,583 I would be the one to screw this up. 487 00:20:31,583 --> 00:20:33,393 So, you can come over whenever you want. 488 00:20:33,423 --> 00:20:34,853 Appreciate that. 489 00:20:34,893 --> 00:20:36,623 Just make sure you text me three hours in advance. 490 00:20:36,663 --> 00:20:38,563 - Not a problem. - And Sunday morning is my time. 491 00:20:38,593 --> 00:20:40,433 - Yes, Lord, it is. - And no more than two days in a row. 492 00:20:40,463 --> 00:20:41,733 Are you sure you want me to have this? 493 00:20:41,763 --> 00:20:43,433 No, but I gave it to you anyway. 494 00:20:43,463 --> 00:20:46,533 Maybe I'll surprise you and stop by tonight. 495 00:20:46,573 --> 00:20:48,633 - Don't. - Got it. 496 00:20:48,673 --> 00:20:52,803 One, two, three. 497 00:20:52,843 --> 00:20:55,643 - Oh, you're so strong! - Oh, geez! 498 00:20:56,843 --> 00:20:58,383 For the record, 499 00:20:58,413 --> 00:21:00,653 these are not my unstoppable sex moves. 500 00:21:00,683 --> 00:21:02,653 ♪ I do it big, big, big ♪ 501 00:21:02,683 --> 00:21:03,983 ♪ This ain't no medium, this ain't no medium ♪ 502 00:21:04,023 --> 00:21:05,923 ♪ I let 'em gas me up ♪ 503 00:21:05,953 --> 00:21:07,893 ♪ Only take premium, only take premium ♪ 504 00:21:07,923 --> 00:21:12,823 ♪ Do what I want, want, want, so disobedient ♪ 505 00:21:12,863 --> 00:21:16,763 ♪ Say I don't got the juice, you a comedian, ha, ha, ha ♪ 506 00:21:16,803 --> 00:21:18,503 ♪ I do it big, big, big ♪ 507 00:21:18,533 --> 00:21:20,903 ♪ So big, large ♪ 508 00:21:20,933 --> 00:21:22,873 ♪ Only take premium, only take premium ♪ 509 00:21:22,903 --> 00:21:24,703 ♪ This ain't no medium, this ain't no medium. ♪ 37142