Original subtitles

Hello? We're the Kellys.

I'm the caretaker.

Hey Dad, look what I found.

It's a videotape.

It's said to be a magical portal to the land of Faerie.

Pooka escaped from this video into the real world and

ate all our treats. He doesn't mean any harm.

If we catch the Pooka and make it watch the video it escaped from.

Maybe it'll get sucked back into the video.

You mean we could send him home?

You killed the Pooka.

Did you and Dad know that we're not actually real people, and we're just

made up characters that escaped from an old 80s sitcom?

I don't belong here. None of us do.

Because you're an abomination against the natural order.

(Loud noise from the TV)

Switch the TV!

She's getting sucked back in!

Can we go home now?

(Music, and a gentle breeze)

(Music continues)

(The sound of a distant TV)

Pooka? Is that you?

What's going on?

(Knocking)

(Kevin's voice is echoing strangely)

Save me?

Wake up! Kevin!

We're here.

Pooka!

(Camera shutter sound)

(Katie laughs)

(Birdsong)

You alright, buddy?

I had another dream about him. The Pooka?

Yeah, he's trapped in the fictional world and needs me to help him.

Ah love, that was just a dream.

I know you feel bad about what happened, but it wasn't your fault.

I know, but... I still think we can save him.

If we can find a copy of The Pooka Show this weekend,

we can use it to open the portal

and bring him back to this world. I'm sure of it.

Can we please just forget about that horrible chapter in

our lives and move on?

You're supposed to be relaxing, aren't you?

What could be more relaxing than a charming holiday at this

beautiful old castle?

We're gonna have a laugh.

We're gonna have all the laughs.

(Theme music plays)

(Theme music ends. Sound of the car crunching on gravel)

(Car doors slam shut)

(Footsteps on gravel)

(Mum sighs deeply)

What?

This isn't a surprise.

We saw what it looked like on the website.

Come on,

it's Kevin's birthday weekend and it's the only thing he asked for.

Are you sure you wouldn't rather hang out with your friends?

You could have them over and watch movies or have a party?

They're all so busy with sports and stuff.

Did I mention my therapist said it'd do me good to spend the weekend

with my family?

Really?

100%

You'd prefer to go home, wouldn't you?

This place is perfect for my next thrilling episode

of 'Monster Hunter and Make-Up Tutorials'.

(Footsteps)

(Spooky music)

(Radio interference)

At journey's end, the shadows roam

Not everyone - (unintelligible)

(Radio interference noise stops)

(Spooky music continues)

(Low growling)

(Dad clears his throat)

(The call bell doesn't work)

Ding ding ding.

There's a reason I took the bell out of that thing.

Oh, sorry about that.

We're the Kellys. We're checking in.

- Two nights? - That's right.

What a treat.

For you or for me?

Oh, did I say that out loud?

Forgive me. Credit card please.

We're here for the video collectors fair.

We're hoping to find an old kids show from the 80s.

My son is a big fan.

Unfortunately, we had to cancel that due to lack of interest.

Oh, really?

Well -

(The manager laughs)

(Dad laughs uncomfortably)

Just a minute.

Bad news, I'm afraid.

The video fair's cancelled.

But we can keep looking online to find the Pooka tape.

I'm sure one will show up eventually.

Do we still have to stay here?

Well, the thing is,

you know, your ma's been taking a break from work at the

Mument due to stress.

I actually think a weekend away would be good for her.

What do you reckon?

- Okay, sure. - Good lad!

Although it's a pretty pricey hotel.

Dad. Let me.

I've got this.

Hi.

Katie Kelly, I'm a popular influencer and public figure.

You might recognise me from my YouTube channel 'Monster Hunter

and Make-Up Tutorials'?

So, I would love to feature your hotel in my show, which has

over 3,000 followers...

...in exchange for a couple of free nights in your fine establishment.

What do you say?

Are you okay?

Would you like to sit down?

Is there someone I can call?

Hello. I am a snooty hotel manager.

I like making babies cry,

and my breath smells like toes.

Oh!

(Katie breaths hard)

(Gentle music)

Hi.

I was just...

(Footsteps on gravel)

(Mum chuckles)

He's cute!

You,

don't speak.

Will you take that? Thanks.

I'm sorry they cancelled your thing,

But we can still celebrate your birthday this weekend.

It's fine.

I wonder if this place is haunted.

(Katie screams loudly)

The amount of single-use plastic in this hotel is absolutely horrifying.

What's this doing here?

Oh... I bought that

in case we could learn more about where we came from at the video fair.

I had this hidden in the top of the wardrobe.

I wouldn't say hidden.

I don't want you bringing this around with us.

In fact, we should just get rid of it.

We can't.

If we destroy the tape, we can never return to the TV

show we escaped from.

I don't want to return.

I just want us to forget all about this and get on with our lives

like normal people. Okay?

How can you forget that we're actually fictional people?

There's no one else like us in the whole world.

From now on, I'm the only one who is allowed to have this tape.

And no one goes near it.

Fine by me!

(Door slams)

Do you not think that was a little bit...

What?

I'm being unreasonable.

Is that what you're trying to say?

No.

That's what I was trying not to say.

You know, the real reason Kevin didn't want a birthday party is

because he doesn't have any friends.

Don't tell him I said this, but

he feels like he doesn't belong here.

Like his real home is a TV show he escaped from.

Apart from us, he doesn't know anyone else fictional.

He feels alone.

He never said anything.

(Gentle music)

(Menacing music)

(Camera shutter)

(Radio interference sounds)

At journey's end, the shadow's wrong,

but every path will take you.

(Radio interference fades out)

(Scary music)

(Kevin jolts)

(Music fades)

Hello, everyone.

Thank you so much for joining on this journey to the centre of the

most important destination of all, yourself.

You will learn to grow your heart, to love your most important

of all goals, our body and who you really are.

Ready? Okay.

Let's start. First, shake it out.

To give you a little history, yoga was invented in the

fourth century India.

And it comes from the word "yoke", which is the Irish word for when

you can't remember what the thing is called.

(Gentle music starts)

(Mum grunts)

And now that we finish our warm up, let us begin the yoga.

That was the warm up?

(Door knocks)

Yes?

Do you have a ghost?

Of course we have a ghost.

Can you tell me about it?

Sure.

Yeah. It's not like I have kitchen inventory to take,

overdue bills to pay,

or an office door that keeps locking for no good reason.

This hotel used to be the family residence of the Duke of Fitzcroft.

But 150 years ago, his son Edwin went missing in the local woods

and was never seen again.

Throughout the years, many visitors have claimed to see Edwin's restless

spirit wandering the grounds, trying in vain to return home.

It's a famous story.

They even made a movie about it.

And we're in the top ten most haunted hotels in all of Ireland.

I think I saw him just now in the gardens. Really?

I kinda got the feeling he was trying to tell me something.

Can I tell you a secret?

If a spirit from the great beyond with unfinished business

may be trying to communicate with you to help,

the important thing to remember is...

I don't care.

(Indistinct chatter)

Here she is. How was the yoga?

The yoga instructor said I had the flexibility of a retired coal miner.

Ah, well, it's only the first session.

You'll loosen up in the afternoon.

Yeah.

(She groans)

(Door slams)

Oh, Kevin,

look, I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier.

I've been a bit wound up lately.

Yeah, that's not important.

I have something to tell you, and I know what you're

gonna say, but I saw

a ghost.

- Okay. - Sure.

Not fair. I want to see it.

Wait, you believe me? Sure.

After everything that happened the last time,

Of course we believe you.

Oh. Okay. That's good.

So I was thinking we could all go out and look for the

ghost this afternoon.

I'm way ahead of you.

What do you think? Could be fun.

Oh,

we're on holiday. Can we just do normal holiday stuff?

Like watch movies or go for walks?

Okay, love. You're right.

Besides, you have to finish your yoga.

And yet, this is Kevin's birthday weekend.

It's not just about me.

So I can only see it through my camera phone.

Okay. Phones at the ready.

Oh. Right

Why don't me and Katie go check out the old servant's quarters, and

you and Mum go down that way.

That ghost doesn't stand a chance against the Kellys.

Who's with me?

I'm not doing that.

Cringe.

Alright come on.

It's good. It's a motivator.

Do you think something's up with Dad?

He seems weirdly happy all the time.

It's been a year since he started getting help for his problems.

Maybe it's just working.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

I mean, he hasn't had a panic attack in ages, so it must be

doing some good.

Okay. Start filming me.

Katie Kelly, your intrepid monster hunter in the basement of Fitzcroft

Castle, on the trail of a terrifying and malevolent apparition.

What's malevolent mean?

Like...evil or not nice or something

I don't think the ghost is evil.

It doesn't matter. Keep filming.

(Flickering sound)

Can you see that on the phone?

(Flickering sound continues)

Do you even believe in ghosts?

No!

Do you? No.

But Kevin said he saw something.

That's it. We're doing it for Kevin.

Yeah.

Look at these guys.

I didn't know Kevin was struggling to make friends.

Yeah,

we've all just been getting along so well lately.

(Scary noise)

What was that?

Do you think it was the ghost? Shh!

You don't want to make him angry.

(She laughs)

(Scary music)

I don't mind telling you guys,

but I'm really scared right now.

The temperature has dropped two degrees, a definite sign of

supernatural activity.

- What? - You're talking rubbish.

You don't understand.

You have to hook your audience with an intriguing storyline,

and then, when you have them in your grasp

you spring the trap and hit them with a big fright!

(Radio interference starts again)

That's it.

That's the sound I heard before I saw the ghost.

What is that?

(Muffled voice)

(Loud Crash)

Oh!

Oh my God!

I think I just peed my pants.

Just an expression.

I didn't really pee my pants.

(Clanking)

Smooth!

(Exasperated groan)

Where are you going?

Fine.

But if I get footage of the ghost, I own the copyright.

(Eerie music)

(Low thud)

(Another low thud)

(Kevin gasps)

(Thudding speeds up)

(Music builds to a crescendo)

(Kevin gasps sharply)

You can't do that. What? Tom!

Can't go sideways with a pawn.

Gotcha.

(Door slams)

Where were you? What?

I needed a break.

I could have been killed or slimed or whatever it is ghosts do to you.

How could you be so malevolent?

You saw it again? - Yeah.

And if you weren't off flirting with some boy

you would've seen it too.

Boy? What boy? - Forget about it.

Anyways, I saw the ghost and...

it was me! Like it looked exactly like me.

How is that possible?

Oh, that must be a fetch. What's a fetch?

In Irish folklore, a fetch is a spirit that looks exactly like you.

If you see one, it's a warning that you'll...

...meet your fate?

Meet my fate?

Like that, you'll, eh,

cease... to...

Cease to what?

- What are you talking about? - It means, you'll die soon.

- What? - Katie!

Why would you say that?

What? I didn't make it up.

Am I gonna die soon? No, of course not.

Is he going to die soon?

No! No.

Relax. You're not gonna die.

Your sister, on the other hand...

(Creepy music)

(Creepy music continues)

(Nervous breathing)

I once tried to do a hip hop dance to impress Becky O'Connell, but

when I lifted my leg, I farted

and everyone laughed, and it was really bad.

Excuse me?

Well, it's just you've said two embarrassing things, so I thought if

I said something embarrassing, it might make you feel a little better.

Never mind. I'm Katie.

I know who you are.

Oh, of course.

You probably know all the guests who are staying.

No, I follow you on YouTube.

You're 'Monster Hunter and Make-Up Tutorials', right?

Do you mind if I take a...?

No.

No? No...

No! Always happy to meet a fan.

Good, okay.

Okay.

(Camera shutter)

(Laughs nervously) Totally rad.

What?

Nothing. Sorry.

Uh, just a stupid thing I say. Don't mind me.

So, what are you doing down here on your own?

Oh, don't ask.

Actually, maybe you can help me.

What can you tell me about the ghost haunting the hotel?

What are you wanting to know?

(Sea sounds)

Cheer up. It's not gonna happen.

How do you know?

Dads know these things.

Then why did it look like me?

There must be some reason.

I'm not gonna go to sleep tonight.

What if the ghost gets me?

Forget about the ghost.

Even if it is real, it's not gonna get you.

It'll be busy doing ghost things.

Like what?

Drinking spirits.

Huh? You know...

spirits?!

Ah that's worth a smile, at least.

Or maybe it's a healthy ghost,

and it likes exorcising!

Come on. Exorcising!!

So,

what's the surprise?

Kevin, I'm sorry I left you alone.

But to make up for it, for this week's movie night, I found out that

they made a movie in the 80s about the ghost in this very hotel!

Sit back and enjoy the imaginatively titled 'Ghost Boy'.

Oooh, Ghost boy!

Woooooh!

(Film music starts)

(Mum laughs)

That's where we are!

(Dad chuckles)

(Indistinct chatter)

That was us this morning!

(Mum chuckles) Yeah!

That's where we are.

(Background chatter)

(Film music continues)

There's the bear! Ah yeah!

Aghrr! (Laughs)

Stop I'm only messing.

(The call button dings)

(The woman screams; the family jump)

At journey's end.

The shadows roam.

But every path will take you home.

Holy cabbage!

But, that's... you!

I don't understand.

I don't believe it!

The actor who plays that ghost boy is the same actor who plays

Kevin in the Kelly sitcom.

Do you know what this means?

The boy I saw isn't actually a ghost -

He's another person who escaped from the TV.

(Intense music)

Just like me!

(Music fades out)

(End theme music plays)