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00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:09,608
PREVIOUSLY
ON THE BIG C...
2
00:00:09,609 --> 00:00:12,545
- I LIKE THE WAY YOU ROLL, MYK.
- I LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU.
3
00:00:14,314 --> 00:00:15,981
I'M THINKING
OF PROPOSING TO REBECCA.
4
00:00:15,982 --> 00:00:17,816
THAT IS TERRIFIC.
5
00:00:17,817 --> 00:00:19,485
YOU REALLY THINK
ACUPUNCTURE COULD HELP?
6
00:00:19,486 --> 00:00:21,086
WHAT, NOW YOU'RE INTERESTED
'CAUSE IT'S HIS IDEA?
7
00:00:21,087 --> 00:00:22,554
I'M CURIOUS.
8
00:00:22,555 --> 00:00:24,156
YOU WEREN'T CURIOUS WHEN
I JUST TOLD YOU ABOUT MY GUY.
9
00:00:24,157 --> 00:00:26,058
MY WOMAN SPECIALIZES
IN CANCER PATIENTS.
10
00:00:26,059 --> 00:00:28,060
UM, YOU'RE ANNOYING.
11
00:00:28,061 --> 00:00:30,629
I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR BEING
CATHY'S CANCER FRIEND...
12
00:00:30,630 --> 00:00:32,831
AND HER REGULAR FRIEND TOO.
13
00:00:32,832 --> 00:00:34,600
SICK PEOPLE
NEED SICK FRIENDS.
14
00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:38,438
MY NAIL'S GONE.
THE DRUGS ARE WORKING.
15
00:00:51,818 --> 00:00:53,886
♪ IT'S SO HARD ♪
16
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:58,825
♪ TO TURN YOUR LIFE OVER ♪
17
00:01:00,660 --> 00:01:02,494
♪ STEP OUT ♪
18
00:01:02,495 --> 00:01:07,300
♪ OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE ♪
19
00:01:09,502 --> 00:01:13,105
♪ IS THIS
SOME KIND OF A JOKE? ♪
20
00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:17,943
♪ WILL SOMEONE
WAKE ME UP SOON? ♪
21
00:01:17,944 --> 00:01:23,282
♪ AND TELL ME THIS WAS JUST
A GAME WE PLAY ♪
22
00:01:23,283 --> 00:01:28,321
♪ CALLED LIFE ♪
23
00:01:46,005 --> 00:01:47,473
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
24
00:01:47,474 --> 00:01:48,841
YEAH, YEAH.
25
00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:51,577
I JUST RAN 5 MILES,
AND IT FELT LIKE 6 1/2.
26
00:01:51,578 --> 00:01:55,214
I HAVE A PAIN IN THE NECK.
THAT'S NOT A METAPHOR.
27
00:01:55,215 --> 00:01:57,182
WHY DON'T YOU SIT DOWN
FOR A SECOND?
28
00:01:57,183 --> 00:01:59,051
I'M OKAY.
29
00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:00,486
I'VE GOTTEN USED
TO ALWAYS HAVING
30
00:02:00,487 --> 00:02:02,955
A LITTLE PAIN SOMEWHERE,
YOU KNOW?
31
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:05,290
SPEAKING OF PAIN, HAVE YOU HAD
ANY COOL SIDE EFFECTS
32
00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:06,859
FROM OUR DRUGS YET--
33
00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:11,029
BUTT RASH, CANKER SORES,
FINGERNAILS FALLING OFF?
34
00:02:11,030 --> 00:02:12,931
UH, A BIRD POOPED ON ARM
WHILE I WAS RUNNING.
35
00:02:12,932 --> 00:02:14,700
THAT ISN'T
A SIDE EFFECT, IS IT?
36
00:02:16,102 --> 00:02:18,770
HOW ABOUT YOU?
37
00:02:18,771 --> 00:02:20,772
NOT YET.
38
00:02:20,773 --> 00:02:22,474
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
FOR THANKSGIVING?
39
00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:24,309
YOU VOLUNTEERING
AT A HOMELESS SHELTER
40
00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:25,811
OR MENTORING HOMELESS YOUTH
41
00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:28,914
OR SOMETHING ELSE HEROIC?
42
00:02:28,915 --> 00:02:30,449
THERE IS A HARD-BOILED EGG
IN MY FRIDGE
43
00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:31,750
THAT IS NOT GONNA EAT ITSELF.
44
00:02:31,751 --> 00:02:34,953
OKAY, THAT IS NO WAY
TO SPEND THE DAY.
45
00:02:34,954 --> 00:02:36,788
NO, YOU COME TO MY HOUSE.
46
00:02:36,789 --> 00:02:38,357
EAT REAL FOOD.
47
00:02:38,358 --> 00:02:39,658
OH, I'M SURE YOUR FAMILY
48
00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:41,627
DOESN'T WANT AN INTERLOPER
HANGING AROUND.
49
00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:44,129
NO. TH--TH--
THEY'LL--THEY'LL LOVE IT,
50
00:02:44,130 --> 00:02:46,298
JUST AS LONG AS THEY DON'T HAVE
TO GO TO MY FATHER'S
51
00:02:46,299 --> 00:02:47,799
AND LISTEN
TO MY ANOREXIC STEPMOTHER
52
00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:49,468
TALK ABOUT FOOD
SHE'LL NEVER EAT
53
00:02:49,469 --> 00:02:51,703
AND WATCH MY FATHER WATCH TV.
54
00:02:51,704 --> 00:02:53,372
SOUNDS VERY META.
55
00:02:53,373 --> 00:02:55,307
OR "SUCKY,"
AS ADAM WOULD SAY.
56
00:02:55,308 --> 00:02:57,309
SO WE'RE JUST GONNA BE
AT HOME,
57
00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:59,144
AND I'M GONNA HOST
MY FIRST THANKSGIVING,
58
00:02:59,145 --> 00:03:00,779
AND DAD IS NOT INVITED.
59
00:03:00,780 --> 00:03:03,515
SEAN'S GONNA GET
AN ECO-FRIENDLY TURKEY
60
00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:04,883
FROM SOMEBODY,
61
00:03:04,884 --> 00:03:06,752
AND I'M JUST GONNA MAKE
ALL THE SIDES I LOVE,
62
00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:08,854
WHETHER THEY HAVE SOMETHING
TO DO WITH THANKSGIVING OR NOT.
63
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:11,924
WE'RE JUST GONNA,
YOU KNOW...
64
00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:14,059
HAVE FUN.
- YOU SURE YOU WANT ME THERE?
65
00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:15,060
YES.
66
00:03:15,061 --> 00:03:16,895
I WANT TO BE SURROUNDED
67
00:03:16,896 --> 00:03:19,031
BY MY FAMILY
AND MY MOLE MATE.
68
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,566
SO WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE
69
00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:23,368
THANKSGIVING DAY FOOD,
OR ANY FOOD, FOR THAT MATTER?
70
00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:24,937
AH. WELL, MY MOM'S PEOPLE
ARE FRENCH,
71
00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:27,606
AND SHE USED TO MAKE
A PRETTY AWESOME BASQUE CAKE,
72
00:03:27,607 --> 00:03:31,610
WHICH I STILL DREAM ABOUT
AND TRY TO TASTE IN MY MIND.
73
00:03:31,611 --> 00:03:33,779
I AM GONNA FIND
THE RECIPE ONLINE,
74
00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:34,980
AND I WILL BAKE IT FOR YOU.
75
00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:36,615
YOU REALLY
DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.
76
00:03:36,616 --> 00:03:39,284
I-IT'S GOT TWO LAYERS OF PASTRY
AND A CREAM CENTER,
77
00:03:39,285 --> 00:03:41,086
AND IT'S JUST A WHOLE THING.
78
00:03:41,087 --> 00:03:44,891
TURKEY AND BASQUE CAKE.
79
00:03:46,092 --> 00:03:48,260
YOU IN?
- SURE.
80
00:03:48,261 --> 00:03:51,997
I WILL JUST, UH, THROW SOME HEAT
ON MY NECK AND GRAB A SHOWER.
81
00:03:51,998 --> 00:03:55,000
GOOD, 'CAUSE YOU SMELL
LIKE SWEAT AND BIRD POO.
82
00:03:55,001 --> 00:03:56,501
OH, YOU CAN LET
YOURSELF OUT.
83
00:03:56,502 --> 00:03:57,970
ALL RIGHT.
2:00, MY HOUSE.
84
00:03:57,971 --> 00:03:59,505
GOBBLE.
GOBBLE, GOBBLE.
85
00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:03,108
HEY, HAPPY THANKSGIVING,
FRIEND...
86
00:04:03,109 --> 00:04:05,244
WHATEVER THAT MEANS.
87
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:06,745
TIME TO BE GRATEFUL, YES?
88
00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:08,247
YEAH, I'M ESPECIALLY GRATEFUL
89
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,582
FOR THE FUCKING HEALTH-CARE
SYSTEM IN THIS COUNTRY,
90
00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:13,752
WHICH IS RETROACTIVELY DENYING
ME A $3,000 BILL.
91
00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:15,120
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
92
00:04:15,121 --> 00:04:16,455
YOU WANT TO KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS, MYK?
93
00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:18,090
THAT MEANS THAT THEY SAID,
"OKAY, WE'LL PAY IT."
94
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,591
THEN THEY SAID,
"OH, WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?
95
00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:21,593
WE'RE NOT GONNA PAY IT.
WE WANT OUR MONEY BACK."
96
00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:23,428
THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS.
ISN'T THAT NICE?
97
00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:24,963
IT'S LOVELY.
98
00:04:24,964 --> 00:04:26,765
AT LEAST WE MADE DOUBLE TIME
AND A HALF TODAY.
99
00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:28,767
I'M VERY GRATEFUL FOR THAT.
100
00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:30,269
YOU KNOW
WHAT I'M GRATEFUL FOR?
101
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,137
I'M GRATEFUL FOR THE FACT
THAT YOU ARE COMING
102
00:04:32,138 --> 00:04:33,772
OVER TO MY HOUSE
FOR THANKSGIVING.
103
00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:36,308
AND I'M GONNA DO SOMETHING
I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO,
104
00:04:36,309 --> 00:04:39,811
SOMETHING THAT I HAVE, LIKE,
LAID AWAKE AT NIGHT DREAMING OF,
105
00:04:39,812 --> 00:04:41,113
SOMETHING
THAT I'VE RESEARCHED
106
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,848
AT 3:00 IN THE MORNING
WHEN I COULDN'T SLEEP.
107
00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:44,116
WHAT IS THIS THING?
108
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,884
WHAT IS THIS MAGICAL,
MAGICAL THING?
109
00:04:45,885 --> 00:04:47,786
MY DEAR NEW FRIEND...
110
00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:51,123
I AM GONNA DEEP-FRY A TURKEY.
- OH.
111
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,624
OH, IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE
SO MOIST.
112
00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,459
I'M SO EXCITED.
I'M JUST GONNA LET THE JUICES
113
00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:55,794
DRIBBLE DOWN MY CHIN
LIKE THAT--
114
00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:57,296
NO APOLOGIES, JUST LIKE THAT.
115
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,298
I AM LOOKING FORWARD
TO TURKEY,
116
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,199
BUT MOSTLY, I CANNOT WAIT
TO SEE ANDREA TONIGHT.
117
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:03,068
I LIKE HER VERY MUCH, PAUL.
118
00:05:03,069 --> 00:05:07,005
I LIKE LOOKING AT HER.
I LIKE TALKING TO HER.
119
00:05:07,006 --> 00:05:09,741
SHE PUTS A SKIP IN MY STEP.
120
00:05:09,742 --> 00:05:12,044
REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU.
I-I LIKE HER TOO--
121
00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:13,345
I MEAN, NOT THE WAY YOU DO.
122
00:05:13,346 --> 00:05:14,713
I JUST MEAN...
- YEAH.
123
00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:15,914
SHE'S A GREAT GIRL.
124
00:05:15,915 --> 00:05:17,382
SO I'LL SEE YOU LATER ON?
125
00:05:17,383 --> 00:05:19,117
- YES.
- ALL RIGHT.
126
00:05:19,118 --> 00:05:22,255
YOU GOT THE ADDRESS?
- YES, SIR.
127
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:48,480
I WOULD'VE GONE WITH ONES
128
00:05:48,481 --> 00:05:50,515
WITH FAUX DIAMOND HEARTS
ON THEM.
129
00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:53,452
THEY SAY, "I'M GIRLY,
BUT I CAN SCRATCH YOU."
130
00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:55,253
NO, CATHY'S NOT A SCRATCHER.
131
00:05:55,254 --> 00:05:57,122
AND I'M TRYING
TO BE SUBTLE.
132
00:05:57,123 --> 00:06:00,125
PROMISE ME YOU GUYS WILL NOT SAY
ANYTHING TO LEE ABOUT MY NAILS.
133
00:06:00,126 --> 00:06:02,060
I MEAN, HE'S NOT HAVING
THE SAME SIDE EFFECTS I AM,
134
00:06:02,061 --> 00:06:03,562
AND I DON'T WANT HIM
TO FEEL BAD.
135
00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:04,930
PROMISE.
136
00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:06,398
SO, SINCE YOU'RE LOSING
YOUR NAILS,
137
00:06:06,399 --> 00:06:08,066
THAT MEANS YOU'RE LOSING
YOUR CANCER?
138
00:06:08,067 --> 00:06:10,268
WELL, THAT'S WHAT WE HOPE
IS HAPPENING.
139
00:06:10,269 --> 00:06:13,572
I HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT
THAT MY TUMORS SPROUTED WINGS
140
00:06:13,573 --> 00:06:15,073
AND FLEW OUT OF MY MOUTH.
141
00:06:15,074 --> 00:06:16,608
I REMEMBER
CALLING OUT TO THEM,
142
00:06:16,609 --> 00:06:19,044
"COME BACK
IF YOU NEED ANYTHING."
143
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:21,012
WHY WOULD I SAY THAT?
144
00:06:21,013 --> 00:06:23,348
BECAUSE YOU'RE A MOM.
145
00:06:23,349 --> 00:06:25,917
GOD, I LOVE
YOUR ENGAGEMENT RING.
146
00:06:25,918 --> 00:06:28,620
I NEVER NOTICED IT.
IT'S SO PRETTY.
147
00:06:28,621 --> 00:06:30,122
- REALLY?
- YEAH.
148
00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:32,257
I'VE NEVER REALLY LOVED IT.
IT WAS MY MOM'S.
149
00:06:32,258 --> 00:06:34,659
MY DAD GAVE IT TO PAUL
WHEN HE WAS GOING TO PROPOSE.
150
00:06:34,660 --> 00:06:36,928
HE WAS SO PROUD.
HE THOUGHT IT WAS SO SPECIAL.
151
00:06:36,929 --> 00:06:39,264
AND AS SOON
AS I OPENED THAT BOX,
152
00:06:39,265 --> 00:06:42,601
I THOUGHT,
"OH, NO, NOT MOM'S UGLY RING."
153
00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:44,636
WELL, I LOVED YOUR MOTHER,
154
00:06:44,637 --> 00:06:46,471
AND I LOVE THAT RING.
155
00:06:46,472 --> 00:06:48,940
WELL, THEN I'LL LEAVE IT
TO YOU IN MY WILL.
156
00:06:48,941 --> 00:06:52,144
DON'T GET ALL DARK.
THE TUMORS FLEW AWAY, REMEMBER?
157
00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:54,613
BUT I DO WANT A RING
ON MY FINGER SO BAD,
158
00:06:54,614 --> 00:06:56,081
I CAN TASTE IT.
159
00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:58,116
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU WANT TO MARRY SEAN.
160
00:06:58,117 --> 00:07:00,485
HE LOOKS LIKE JESUS,
ONLY ANGRIER.
161
00:07:00,486 --> 00:07:03,088
MAYBE I'LL START CALLING YOU
"MAGS" FOR MARY MAGDALENE.
162
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:05,557
- HIS MOTHER?
- NO, HIS PROSTITUTE GIRLFRIEND.
163
00:07:05,558 --> 00:07:06,625
READ A BIBLE.
164
00:07:06,626 --> 00:07:07,726
THAT'S WHY I WANT A RING,
165
00:07:07,727 --> 00:07:09,394
'CAUSE I FEEL
KIND OF PROSTITUTE-Y
166
00:07:09,395 --> 00:07:11,296
BEING KNOCKED UP
AND NOT MARRIED.
167
00:07:11,297 --> 00:07:13,899
WOW.
THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE YOU.
168
00:07:13,900 --> 00:07:15,400
EXACTLY.
169
00:07:15,401 --> 00:07:16,935
AND MAYBE IT'S THE HORMONES,
170
00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:19,070
BUT I DON'T WANT MY DAUGHTER
TO KNOW ME
171
00:07:19,071 --> 00:07:22,774
AS CRAZY, INDEPENDENT,
DRINKS-RUM-WITH-OMELETS REBECCA.
172
00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:24,209
I WANT HER TO PLAY
WITH MY RING
173
00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:27,012
AND ASK ME HOW MOMMY AND DADDY
FELL IN LOVE.
174
00:07:27,013 --> 00:07:28,780
I HEAR MYSELF TALKING,
175
00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:31,783
AND IT MAKES ME A LITTLE SICK,
BUT IT'S TRUE.
176
00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:32,884
THAT'S NICE.
177
00:07:32,885 --> 00:07:34,119
I LOVE WEDDINGS.
178
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,687
I'VE GOT MINE ALL PLANNED OUT.
179
00:07:35,688 --> 00:07:37,622
DOES MYK KNOW?
180
00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:39,257
DON'T MAKE
A BLACK GIRL BLUSH.
181
00:07:39,258 --> 00:07:41,493
I'VE HAD IT PLANNED
LONG BEFORE I EVEN MET HIM.
182
00:07:41,494 --> 00:07:43,695
HE'S GOT TO EARN THE RIGHT
TO RIDE MY DREAM.
183
00:07:43,696 --> 00:07:45,597
I LIKE YOUR ATTITUDE.
184
00:07:45,598 --> 00:07:47,666
THANK YOU, MAGS.
185
00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:49,267
GOT IT.
186
00:07:49,268 --> 00:07:50,669
GOT THE TURKEY.
187
00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:52,471
SAY HELLO AND GOOD-BYE.
188
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:53,638
HEY, HONEY.
- HI.
189
00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:56,241
HOW ARE YOU?
HOW YOU FEELING?
190
00:07:56,242 --> 00:07:57,742
- FAT IN THE THIGHS.
- OH.
191
00:07:57,743 --> 00:07:59,077
OH.
192
00:07:59,078 --> 00:08:01,146
I-I THINK I JUST FELT
HER FIRST KICK.
193
00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:02,814
SHE KNOWS YOUR VOICE.
194
00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:04,816
- OH.
- EXCUSE ME.
195
00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:06,685
EXCUSE ME!
196
00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:08,487
WHY IS IT ALIVE?
197
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:09,754
EXACTLY.
198
00:08:09,755 --> 00:08:12,257
THIS GUY WON'T KILL THEM.
199
00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:13,959
CAN I GO TO BRENT'S, PLEASE?
200
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,193
ON THANKSGIVING DAY?
NO.
201
00:08:15,194 --> 00:08:16,628
SEAN.
- HMM?
202
00:08:16,629 --> 00:08:18,029
WHY DID I PUT YOU
IN CHARGE OF THE TURKEY?
203
00:08:18,030 --> 00:08:20,298
YOU SAID THAT IT WAS GONNA BE--
- IT WAS GOING TO BE ORGANIC
204
00:08:20,299 --> 00:08:22,367
AND FREE-RANGE
AND FROM MY FRIEND'S FARM.
205
00:08:22,368 --> 00:08:24,703
KILLING IT OURSELVES--
206
00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:26,972
IT GIVES US
THE OPPORTUNITY TO LEARN.
207
00:08:26,973 --> 00:08:29,241
WHY WOULDN'T YOU BRING IT
TO ME HEADLESS AND NAKED
208
00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:30,909
LIKE GOD INTENDED?
209
00:08:30,910 --> 00:08:32,344
WELL, LIVING AUTHENTICALLY
210
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,379
MEANS BEING IN TOUCH
WITH THE CIRCLE OF LIFE.
211
00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:36,448
I AM JUST GOING TO TEACH
YOUNG ADAM HERE
212
00:08:36,449 --> 00:08:38,884
WHAT I'LL BE TEACHING
MY OWN KID SOON ENOUGH.
213
00:08:38,885 --> 00:08:40,185
WHENEVER POSSIBLE,
214
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:43,689
YOU SHOULD PLANT OR KILL
YOUR OWN FOOD.
215
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:48,828
IT'S LIKE HE HAS
SOME WEIRD POWER OVER ME.
216
00:08:53,132 --> 00:08:55,066
HI.
217
00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:56,568
HEY.
I HOPE YOU LIKE WINE.
218
00:08:56,569 --> 00:08:58,103
OH.
COME ON IN.
219
00:08:58,104 --> 00:09:00,171
HERE, JUST--YOU CAN PUT IT
RIGHT OVER THERE.
220
00:09:00,172 --> 00:09:02,140
TO BE HONEST,
I ESPECIALLY LIKE A HOLIDAY
221
00:09:02,141 --> 00:09:04,009
WHERE SOMEONE GETS TOO DRUNK
TO STAND,
222
00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:05,544
EVEN IF IT HAS TO BE ME.
223
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,879
OH, IF WE DRINK ALL OF THAT,
NOBODY'S GONNA REMEMBER.
224
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,681
I'VE GOT TO GET
BACK TO WHISKING.
225
00:09:09,682 --> 00:09:11,683
THAT BASQUE CAKE IS NO JOKE.
226
00:09:11,684 --> 00:09:13,852
- OH, YOU REALLY DON'T HAVE TO--
- NO, I WANT TO.
227
00:09:13,853 --> 00:09:16,254
ANDREA, LEE.
LEE, ANDREA.
228
00:09:16,255 --> 00:09:19,090
AND, ANDREA,
I NEED YOU TO PUT THESE...
229
00:09:19,091 --> 00:09:20,392
PAPER TURKEYS--
230
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,027
TAPE THEM TOGETHER AND PUT THEM
ALL AROUND THE HOUSE.
231
00:09:22,028 --> 00:09:23,562
THEY'RE SO CUTE.
232
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,763
THANKS.
233
00:09:24,764 --> 00:09:26,298
HEY.
234
00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:28,833
I'M FAT, AND YOU'RE GAY,
SO WE'RE SUPPOSED TO GET ALONG.
235
00:09:28,834 --> 00:09:33,705
WELL, THEN I BET WE WILL.
236
00:09:33,706 --> 00:09:35,307
HI.
REBECCA.
237
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:36,308
HI. LEE.
238
00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:37,842
UH, WINE?
239
00:09:37,843 --> 00:09:39,277
OH, I'M PREGNANT,
240
00:09:39,278 --> 00:09:40,879
SO I'LL JUST BE SNIFFING
THE CORKS
241
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:42,847
AND TONGUE-KISSING PEOPLE
WHO ARE DRINKING.
242
00:09:42,848 --> 00:09:44,516
- OKAY.
- NICE TO MEET YOU.
243
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:45,984
YOU TOO.
244
00:09:45,985 --> 00:09:48,186
HEY!
245
00:09:48,187 --> 00:09:49,387
OH, HEY.
246
00:09:49,388 --> 00:09:51,856
COME GIVE DADDY BEAR
A BIG HUG!
247
00:09:51,857 --> 00:09:54,059
- GOOD TO SEE YOU--
- OH-HO-HO!
248
00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:57,362
- HOW ARE YOU DOING, PAUL?
- OH, I'M DOING GOOD NOW.
249
00:09:57,363 --> 00:09:59,030
LET ME TAKE THESE
OFF YOUR HANDS.
250
00:09:59,031 --> 00:10:01,266
OKAY.
251
00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:03,702
SO WHAT DO WE DO EXACTLY?
252
00:10:03,703 --> 00:10:06,338
YEAH.
253
00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:09,541
UM, ALL RIGHT,
FIRST, WE THANK IT.
254
00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:10,709
FOR WHAT?
255
00:10:10,710 --> 00:10:12,577
IT MADE SO MUCH NOISE
IN THE CAR,
256
00:10:12,578 --> 00:10:14,546
I THINK I'M DEAF IN ONE EAR.
- ALL RIGHT.
257
00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:18,583
TURKEY, THANK YOU
FOR GIVING YOUR LIFE TO US
258
00:10:18,584 --> 00:10:21,886
SO THAT WE MAY NOURISH
OUR BODIES WITH YOURS
259
00:10:21,887 --> 00:10:25,223
AND GATHER STRENGTH
TO BE KIND,
260
00:10:25,224 --> 00:10:27,325
GOOD, AND RECYCLE.
261
00:10:27,326 --> 00:10:29,060
AND NOW YOU HAVE A CHOICE.
262
00:10:29,061 --> 00:10:31,563
YOU CAN EITHER WRING ITS NECK
OR CHOP ITS HEAD OFF.
263
00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:32,931
NO WAY.
264
00:10:32,932 --> 00:10:34,466
WELL, UH,
I-IF YOU'RE GONNA EAT IT,
265
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:35,800
YOU HAVE TO KILL IT.
266
00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:38,036
WHY DO I HAVE TO KILL IT?
WHY DON'T YOU KILL IT?
267
00:10:38,037 --> 00:10:40,572
ALL RIGHT, UM...
268
00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:41,840
WE WILL DO IT TOGETHER.
269
00:10:41,841 --> 00:10:46,144
I'LL HOLD IT,
AND YOU CAN, UM, CHOP OR WRING.
270
00:10:46,145 --> 00:10:48,980
NO, I'M NOT DOING THAT.
OKAY, I'LL HOLD IT.
271
00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:51,082
ALL RIGHT, FINE.
FINE.
272
00:10:51,083 --> 00:10:52,484
WHERE'S THE CLEAVER?
273
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,653
GOOD-BYE, MARTY.
274
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,955
WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?
275
00:10:56,956 --> 00:11:00,058
I JUST SAID GOOD-BYE
LIKE YOU DID.
276
00:11:00,059 --> 00:11:01,526
BUT...
277
00:11:01,527 --> 00:11:03,194
YOU JUST NAMED HIM.
278
00:11:03,195 --> 00:11:04,462
WHY DID YOU NAME HIM?
279
00:11:04,463 --> 00:11:07,132
I DON'T KNOW.
HE LOOKS--HE LOOKS LIKE A MARTY.
280
00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:09,034
WELL, GREAT.
281
00:11:09,035 --> 00:11:10,902
NOW WE CAN'T KILL IT.
282
00:11:10,903 --> 00:11:13,738
NOW HE'S LIKE A-A MEMBER
OF THE FAMILY OR SOMETHING.
283
00:11:13,739 --> 00:11:15,573
IT'S LIKE YOU JUST BREATHED
INTO HIS MOUTH
284
00:11:15,574 --> 00:11:16,941
AND GAVE HIM A SOUL.
285
00:11:16,942 --> 00:11:19,177
WAIT.
YOU JUST DON'T WANT TO KILL HIM.
286
00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:20,879
WELL, NO,
BECAUSE NOW HE HAS A NAME.
287
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,148
I MEAN, HE'S PROBABLY GOT
A-A FAVORITE COLOR OR SOMETHING.
288
00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:24,816
- OH, MARTY. MARTY.
- MARTY.
289
00:11:24,817 --> 00:11:27,252
MARTY, DON'T GO
INTO THE STREET.
290
00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:28,820
DON'T GOT
INTO THE STREET, MARTY!
291
00:11:28,821 --> 00:11:31,890
♪ IF YOU'RE WRONG ♪
292
00:11:31,891 --> 00:11:34,659
♪ I DON'T WANT TO BE RIGHT ♪
293
00:11:34,660 --> 00:11:37,295
♪ FEELING GOOD ♪
294
00:11:37,296 --> 00:11:39,197
- HI.
- HELLO.
295
00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:40,398
- I'M REBECCA.
- MYK.
296
00:11:40,399 --> 00:11:42,567
HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
297
00:11:42,568 --> 00:11:44,869
HELLO, SWEETHEART.
298
00:11:47,006 --> 00:11:49,140
HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
299
00:11:49,141 --> 00:11:50,675
WHAT THE--
300
00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:55,747
AAH! I LOVE IT,
I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT!
301
00:11:55,748 --> 00:11:58,883
THAT MAKES ME VERY HAPPY,
BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.
302
00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:00,819
YOU DON'T LOVE ME.
303
00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:03,154
YOU DON'T KNOW ME.
WE'VE BEEN ON TWO DATES.
304
00:12:03,155 --> 00:12:04,522
BUT I LOVE
WHAT I KNOW SO FAR.
305
00:12:04,523 --> 00:12:06,658
OH, DO YOU?
306
00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:08,293
OR ARE YOU JUST TRYING TO GET
307
00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:10,428
INTO MY PANTS
AS SOON AS YOU CAN, HMM?
308
00:12:10,429 --> 00:12:11,963
AND THEN WHAT HAPPENS?
309
00:12:11,964 --> 00:12:14,399
SUDDENLY YOU CANCEL OUR DATE
'CAUSE YOU HAVE A SINUS THING.
310
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,201
AND THEN I RUN
INTO YOU AT THE MALL
311
00:12:16,202 --> 00:12:18,703
WITH SOME SKINNY BLONDE BITCH
ON YOUR ARM, RIGHT?
312
00:12:18,704 --> 00:12:21,539
MM-MM.
I WILL NOT BE PLAYED, PLAYER.
313
00:12:21,540 --> 00:12:22,774
I WILL NOT BE PLAYED.
314
00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:26,878
NO TURKEY FOR THANKSGIVING.
315
00:12:26,879 --> 00:12:28,713
WE'RE GONNA BE TURKEY LIGHT.
316
00:12:28,714 --> 00:12:31,182
OH, LOOK,
IT'S CATHY'S CARETAKER.
317
00:12:31,183 --> 00:12:34,252
DID YOU COME TO CONTROL CATHY'S
EXPERIENCE OF THANKSGIVING?
318
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:35,320
AWESOME.
319
00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:37,889
I CAME TO GET DRUNK
AND EAT CAKE.
320
00:12:37,890 --> 00:12:39,390
SEAN, WHAT HAPPENED?
321
00:12:39,391 --> 00:12:40,759
MARTY ESCAPED.
322
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,227
WE CHASED HIM
FOR, LIKE, SIX BLOCKS.
323
00:12:42,228 --> 00:12:43,962
- WHO?
- TURKEY LURKY...
324
00:12:43,963 --> 00:12:47,599
WENT OVER A FENCE IN KIND OF
A RUNNING, HOPPING, FLYING LEAP.
325
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,101
I GOT FIVE GALLONS OF
PEANUT OIL HEATING UP OUTSIDE.
326
00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:52,871
W-WHAT AM I GONNA FRY IN THAT?
- UH, YOUR ATTITUDE.
327
00:12:52,872 --> 00:12:55,907
MAYBE WE COULD ORDER A PIZZA.
I'M GETTING A LITTLE WOOZY.
328
00:12:55,908 --> 00:12:57,709
YOU JUST NEED
SOME PROTEIN, BABE.
329
00:12:57,710 --> 00:12:58,910
I-I'LL GET YOU SOME NUTS.
330
00:12:58,911 --> 00:13:00,879
SO NOW HE'S JUST OUT THERE
COLD AND ALONE?
331
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:03,214
OH, DON'T WORRY. THAT TURKEY
CAN TAKE CARE OF ITSELF.
332
00:13:03,215 --> 00:13:06,585
THAT FUCKER WAS STRONG, FAST,
AND DEFINITELY HAD A PLAN.
333
00:13:08,687 --> 00:13:09,921
WOULD YOU MAKE ME
A SANDWICH?
334
00:13:09,922 --> 00:13:12,157
SURE.
335
00:13:12,158 --> 00:13:14,559
HEY, UH, DON'T LEAVE
'CAUSE WE DON'T HAVE ANY TURKEY.
336
00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,528
SERIOUSLY, WE--WE GOT A TON
OF NUTS TO GO AROUND.
337
00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:18,396
WHO ARE YOU?
- MY NAME IS MYK.
338
00:13:18,397 --> 00:13:19,764
I'VE BEEN DATING ANDREA.
339
00:13:19,765 --> 00:13:21,232
BUT SOMETHING WEIRD
JUST HAPPENED TO HER,
340
00:13:21,233 --> 00:13:22,700
AND NOW I FEEL
LIKE I SHOULD LEAVE.
341
00:13:22,701 --> 00:13:24,702
UH, PEOPLE GET CRAZY
ON HOLIDAYS
342
00:13:24,703 --> 00:13:27,739
AND ESPECIALLY THIS ONE,
'CAUSE THIS IS A CRAZY HOLIDAY.
343
00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:29,274
IT'S ONLY
MY FIRST THANKSGIVING.
344
00:13:29,275 --> 00:13:31,910
YEAH? OH.
WELL, LET ME EXPLAIN IT, MYK.
345
00:13:31,911 --> 00:13:33,711
PILGRIMS CAME OVER
TO THIS NEW LAND
346
00:13:33,712 --> 00:13:37,382
FOR A "NEW START, LEAVE
THE PAST BEHIND" TYPE OF SITCH.
347
00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:39,551
HMM.
THAT SOUNDS OKAY.
348
00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:42,086
EXCEPT WE WERE TOO STUPID
TO GROW OUR OWN FOOD.
349
00:13:42,087 --> 00:13:43,588
SO WE BEGGED THE INDIANS
350
00:13:43,589 --> 00:13:45,490
TO TEACH US HOW TO FARM,
WHICH THEY DID.
351
00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:48,393
THEN WE GOT STRONG ENOUGH
TO BURN THEIR VILLAGES
352
00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:49,994
AND KICK THEM OFF
THEIR OWN LAND,
353
00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:52,397
AND THEN WE WERE LIKE,
"GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR SMALLPOX."
354
00:13:52,398 --> 00:13:54,566
THE ONLY REASON
I'M EVEN ACKNOWLEDGING
355
00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:56,801
THIS TRAIN WRECK OF A HOLIDAY
356
00:13:56,802 --> 00:13:59,237
IS 'CAUSE
I'M ON MOOD STABILIZERS.
357
00:14:00,606 --> 00:14:03,174
EVERY STORE IN TOWN
IS OUT OF TURKEYS.
358
00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:05,176
AH.
NO BIG DEAL.
359
00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:06,411
OH, YEAH, WELL, WAIT.
360
00:14:06,412 --> 00:14:08,012
YOU'RE A BUDDHIST.
YOU DON'T EAT MEAT.
361
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:10,048
I USED TO BE A VEGETARIAN
362
00:14:10,049 --> 00:14:12,550
UNTIL ONE OF MY MEDS
MADE ME REALLY ANEMIC,
363
00:14:12,551 --> 00:14:13,852
AND I STARTED EATING FISH,
364
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,787
WHICH TURNED OUT TO BE
A GATEWAY MEAT
365
00:14:15,788 --> 00:14:19,190
TO CHICKEN, STEAK, VEAL--
YOU GET THE PICTURE.
366
00:14:19,191 --> 00:14:21,526
I LOVE TURKEY,
BUT WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
367
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:24,162
- A LOT OF PEOPLE NEEDING NUTS.
- THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.
368
00:14:24,163 --> 00:14:26,264
IF YOU'D JUST LET ME BUY
A NORMAL TURKEY
369
00:14:26,265 --> 00:14:28,166
FROM A STORE
INSTEAD OF INSISTING
370
00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:29,734
THIS BE PART
OF YOUR SOCIAL AGENDA,
371
00:14:29,735 --> 00:14:31,202
EVERYTHING
WOULD'VE BEEN PERFECT.
372
00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:33,538
OH, LOOK, MY SISTER'S HAVING
AN INAPPROPRIATE REACTION
373
00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:35,039
TO SOMETHING INCONSEQUENTIAL.
374
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:37,475
MUST BE A HOLIDAY.
375
00:14:37,476 --> 00:14:41,447
YOU'RE NOT DOING
A VERY GOOD JOB CONTROLLING HER.
376
00:14:43,582 --> 00:14:46,351
YOU KNOW, ONE DAY YOU'RE GONNA
FIND ALL THIS REALLY FUNNY.
377
00:14:46,352 --> 00:14:48,052
SO WHY NOT LAUGH
ABOUT IT NOW?
378
00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:51,122
A BIRD SHIT ON ME THIS MORNING,
AND I LAUGHED.
379
00:14:51,123 --> 00:14:52,557
AND I RESPECT THAT,
380
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,559
BUT THIS IS
MY FIRST THANKSGIVING--
381
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,895
AND YOU'RE ACTING
LIKE IT'S GONNA BE YOUR LAST.
382
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,130
WHERE'S
YOUR CONFIDENCE, CATHY?
383
00:14:59,131 --> 00:15:03,167
YOU WILL HAVE TURKEY
NEXT YEAR.
384
00:15:03,168 --> 00:15:05,337
GET IN HERE.
385
00:15:08,507 --> 00:15:10,074
- I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
- HMM.
386
00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:12,744
WE CAN STILL BASK
IN THE BASQUE CAKE.
387
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:15,013
OH, CRAP. I FORGOT.
I'VE GOT TO ROLL THE DOUGH.
388
00:15:15,014 --> 00:15:18,182
O-OKAY,
I NEED SOMETHING TO FRY.
389
00:15:18,183 --> 00:15:19,550
WHEAT THINS.
390
00:15:19,551 --> 00:15:21,085
THEY'RE ALREADY CRUNCHY.
DAMN IT.
391
00:15:21,086 --> 00:15:23,154
WHAT ABOUT
MACARONI-AND-CHEESE BALLS?
392
00:15:23,155 --> 00:15:25,857
WE MAKE THEM BACK HOME
IN MY BAR, AND THEY ARE DIVINE.
393
00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:28,159
- WE'LL PUT THEM ON STICKS.
- YEAH.
394
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:29,828
NO, NOT--NOT MY MACARONI.
395
00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:37,001
JUST MAKE MINE EXTRA CRISPY.
396
00:15:37,002 --> 00:15:39,504
ATTAGIRL.
397
00:15:39,505 --> 00:15:42,373
SO, UH, WHAT DO YOU
USUALLY DO THANKSGIVING?
398
00:15:42,374 --> 00:15:44,509
UH, NOTHING SPECIAL...
399
00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:47,712
ALTHOUGH I DID ONCE GET
TWO BLOW JOBS.
400
00:15:47,713 --> 00:15:49,147
THAT WAS SPECIAL.
- WOW.
401
00:15:49,148 --> 00:15:51,049
ONE OF THE GUYS
WAS WEARING A PILGRIM HAT,
402
00:15:51,050 --> 00:15:52,417
AND I WILL NEVER FORGET HIM.
403
00:15:52,418 --> 00:15:53,518
- WOW.
- HMM.
404
00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:56,187
YOU GAY GUYS
REALLY PRIORITIZE SEX.
405
00:15:56,188 --> 00:15:57,889
IT'S AWESOME.
406
00:15:57,890 --> 00:15:59,857
I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER EVEN
HAD SEX ON THANKSGIVING.
407
00:15:59,858 --> 00:16:03,461
I'M ALWAYS SO--SO BLOATED
AND TIRED, YOU KNOW?
408
00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:05,330
TRYPTOPHAN IS A BITCH.
409
00:16:05,331 --> 00:16:08,466
WELL, NO TURKEY TODAY,
JUST A LOT OF FRIED PASTA,
410
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:11,803
WHICH WE'RE ALMOST OUT OF, SO,
UH, ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S NEXT, HUH?
411
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,438
OH.
412
00:16:13,439 --> 00:16:14,906
WHAT?
413
00:16:14,907 --> 00:16:16,274
HA HA!
414
00:16:16,275 --> 00:16:18,343
SORRY, SUCKER.
YOU'RE GOING IN.
415
00:16:18,344 --> 00:16:19,510
WHAT DO YOU GOT THERE?
416
00:16:19,511 --> 00:16:21,279
IT'S OUR LATEST
INSURANCE BILL.
417
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,648
IT LOOKS A HELL OF A LOT LIKE
OUR LAST THREE INSURANCE BILLS.
418
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:26,417
MAKE IT SUFFER, PLEASE, ON
BEHALF OF ALL INSURANCE BILLS.
419
00:16:26,418 --> 00:16:28,486
DIE, BITCH.
420
00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:32,056
WHOA!
421
00:16:32,057 --> 00:16:33,958
CAN I PLAY WITH YOU GUYS?
422
00:16:33,959 --> 00:16:35,660
- YES, COME PLAY WITH US.
- COME PLAY WITH US.
423
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:37,996
COME ON. I WILL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH ANOTHER BOTTLE.
424
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,497
HERE.
425
00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:42,101
- MM.
- BE MY GUEST.
426
00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:46,871
THESE ARE VERY GOOD.
427
00:16:46,872 --> 00:16:50,341
HELL, YES.
428
00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:54,412
HEY, UH...
429
00:16:54,413 --> 00:16:58,016
I NOTICED YOU LEAVING
WITH SOME CELL PHONES TODAY.
430
00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:01,452
OH, YES.
SOME GIFTS FOR SOME FRIENDS.
431
00:17:01,453 --> 00:17:03,287
YEAH, YOU'RE
A VERY GENEROUS FRIEND.
432
00:17:03,288 --> 00:17:05,857
AND THAT NECKLACE YOU GOT
FOR ANDREA--
433
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,792
WOW, THAT'S EXPENSIVE.
434
00:17:07,793 --> 00:17:11,362
I MEAN, IF YOU'RE MAKING
WHAT I'M MAKING AT THE MAX BUY,
435
00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:13,931
YOU'RE MAKING YOUR DOLLAR
GO A LOT FARTHER THAN I AM.
436
00:17:13,932 --> 00:17:15,600
WHAT'S YOUR SECRET?
437
00:17:15,601 --> 00:17:19,070
I LIVE WITH FOUR GUYS
IN A TWO-BEDROOM APARTMENT.
438
00:17:19,071 --> 00:17:21,105
BUDDY, LOOK...
439
00:17:21,106 --> 00:17:23,307
I'LL CLEAN OUT MY BASEMENT.
YOU CAN LIVE THERE.
440
00:17:23,308 --> 00:17:25,276
YOU CAN'T BE STEALING STUFF.
441
00:17:25,277 --> 00:17:27,478
YOU KNOW, YOU'LL SCREW UP
YOUR ENTIRE FUTURE,
442
00:17:27,479 --> 00:17:29,313
NOT TO MENTION
CORRODE YOUR SOUL.
443
00:17:29,314 --> 00:17:30,948
ARE YOU TRYING
TO SCARE ME, PAUL?
444
00:17:30,949 --> 00:17:32,450
BECAUSE I DON'T SCARE EASILY.
- NO.
445
00:17:32,451 --> 00:17:34,318
I'M TRYING TO REASON WITH
YOUR SENSE OF MORALITY, MAN.
446
00:17:34,319 --> 00:17:36,788
PEOPLE THINK, OH,
THEY STEAL A LITTLE BIT OF STUFF
447
00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:38,623
FROM A BIG COMPANY,
IT HAS NO EFFECT.
448
00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:40,958
IT DOES HAVE AN EFFECT.
- REALLY?
449
00:17:40,959 --> 00:17:43,728
DID YOU KNOW
THAT IN MAX BUY'S BUDGET,
450
00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:45,296
THERE IS A LINE ITEM
THAT ACCOUNTS
451
00:17:45,297 --> 00:17:49,634
FOR 3% OF THEIR MERCHANDISE
BEING LOST OR STOLEN?
452
00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:51,302
I AM PROVING THEM RIGHT.
453
00:17:51,303 --> 00:17:53,004
EVERYBODY LIKES TO BE RIGHT.
454
00:17:53,005 --> 00:17:57,743
SO IS IT TOO MUCH IF I ASK YOU
TO LOOK THE OTHER WAY?
455
00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:13,959
IS IT TOO MUCH
FOR ME TO ASK TO BE CUT IN?
456
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,865
YEAH, LIKE WE NEED 100 PAPER
TURKEYS ALL AROUND THE HOUSE.
457
00:18:20,866 --> 00:18:23,367
SORRY MY MOM'S INSANE.
458
00:18:23,368 --> 00:18:25,937
DON'T YOU CRITICIZE HER.
459
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:28,473
SHE'S SICK AND JUST WANTS
TO MAKE IT A SPECIAL DAY.
460
00:18:28,474 --> 00:18:30,108
YOU'RE JUST PISSY
BECAUSE YOUR PARENTS
461
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,976
WON'T LET YOU INVITE
A WHORE TO DINNER.
462
00:18:31,977 --> 00:18:34,112
WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?
463
00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,780
REBECCA SAYS YOU SHOVED MYK
464
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,949
AND ACCUSED HIM
OF DYING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU.
465
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:41,285
MY PROBLEM IS GUYS LIKE YOU
WHO WANT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE
466
00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:43,488
OF GIRLS WHO WANT
TO BE TREATED RIGHT.
467
00:18:43,489 --> 00:18:44,956
YOU MAKE ME SICK.
468
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:47,625
BELIEVE ME,
YOU'RE WAY TOO ANNOYING
469
00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:50,128
TO JUST HANG OUT WITH IF HE
WANTED TO GET IN YOUR PANTS.
470
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:52,063
SO IT'S EITHER
HE REALLY LIKES YOU, ANDREA,
471
00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:54,800
OR HE'S A BIGGER FREAK
THAN YOU ARE.
472
00:19:00,606 --> 00:19:02,073
HOW'S YOUR HOT DISH,
HOT DISH?
473
00:19:02,074 --> 00:19:03,741
PAUL, MOVE BACK.
THIS IS REALLY HOT.
474
00:19:03,742 --> 00:19:06,511
WOW. THAT LOOKS DELICIOUS.
COULD I HAVE A PIECE?
475
00:19:06,512 --> 00:19:09,313
WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOU?
476
00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:11,082
CAN I HAVE
SOME SEX, PLEASE?
477
00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:12,917
PLEASE CAN I HAVE SOME SEX?
478
00:19:12,918 --> 00:19:14,085
WHAT, NOW?
479
00:19:14,086 --> 00:19:15,920
- YEAH.
- THERE ARE PEOPLE IN THE HOUSE.
480
00:19:15,921 --> 00:19:18,356
I'VE NEVER HAD SEX
ON THANKSGIVING.
481
00:19:18,357 --> 00:19:19,924
IT'S A HOLIDAY OF IMBIBING.
WHO SAYS--
482
00:19:19,925 --> 00:19:22,160
WHO SAYS THAT--
THAT YOU HAVE TO IMBIBE FOOD?
483
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,095
OH, THERE'S THE RUB.
THERE IT IS.
484
00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:26,430
THERE'S THE RUB.
- OH, WHY DON'T WE--
485
00:19:26,431 --> 00:19:28,499
WE CAN--WE CAN REVISIT THIS
WHEN WE'RE ALONE.
486
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:30,101
BUT YOU SAID
YOUR TREATMENTS ARE WORKING,
487
00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:31,202
AND YOU'RE FEELING BETTER.
488
00:19:31,203 --> 00:19:32,703
SHH.
489
00:19:32,704 --> 00:19:34,805
WE DON'T WANT LEE
TO KNOW, REMEMBER?
490
00:19:34,806 --> 00:19:38,276
LET'S JUST SNEAK UPSTAIRS.
WHO CARES IF ANYBODY HEARS US?
491
00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:39,944
WHY HIDE IT?
LET'S BE OPEN ABOUT SEX.
492
00:19:39,945 --> 00:19:41,312
LEE IS.
493
00:19:41,313 --> 00:19:43,147
GOD, THAT MAN MAKES ME
SO FUCKING HORNY.
494
00:19:43,148 --> 00:19:44,649
I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.
495
00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:46,250
STOP.
496
00:19:46,251 --> 00:19:48,252
COME ON, IT'S HOLIDAY TIME.
GIVE ME A LITTLE, TINY PIECE.
497
00:19:48,253 --> 00:19:50,722
CAKE IS DONE.
DINNER'S SERVED!
498
00:19:55,894 --> 00:19:59,130
THE THING IS,
YOU'RE TOO HANDSOME TO BE SICK.
499
00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:00,464
I THINK
THAT IS A VALID ARGUMENT.
500
00:20:00,465 --> 00:20:01,999
I JUST DON'T KNOW
WHO TO MAKE IT TO.
501
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:08,639
BASQUE CAKE.
502
00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:11,409
OKAY, EVERYBODY.
503
00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:13,744
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
504
00:20:13,745 --> 00:20:15,313
YOU KNOW, I WAS--
505
00:20:15,314 --> 00:20:17,782
I WAS GONNA APOLOGIZE
BECAUSE THERE'S
506
00:20:17,783 --> 00:20:19,250
NO TURKEY ON THE TABLE.
507
00:20:19,251 --> 00:20:20,785
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
THE MORE I THOUGHT ABOUT IT,
508
00:20:20,786 --> 00:20:22,920
YOU KNOW, THE MORE I REALIZED
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
509
00:20:22,921 --> 00:20:26,524
IF I REALLY LOVE TURKEY
OR JUST THE IDEA OF TURKEY,
510
00:20:26,525 --> 00:20:29,493
YOU KNOW, HOW IT
SORT OF COMPLETES THE PICTURE
511
00:20:29,494 --> 00:20:32,363
IN MY MIND
OF THE PERFECT THANKSGIVING.
512
00:20:32,364 --> 00:20:33,564
SO I'M SORRY, SEAN...
513
00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:35,866
- NOT FORGIVEN.
- FOR WHINING ABOUT THE TURKEY,
514
00:20:35,867 --> 00:20:37,335
BECAUSE, HONESTLY,
515
00:20:37,336 --> 00:20:39,604
I'M A STUFFING GIRL,
AND WE GOT PLENTY OF THAT.
516
00:20:39,605 --> 00:20:41,405
WE HAVE TWO DIFFERENT KINDS,
IN FACT,
517
00:20:41,406 --> 00:20:43,207
AND I'M GONNA EAT IT
UNTIL I'M SICK.
518
00:20:43,208 --> 00:20:45,610
OOPS TOO LATE.
519
00:20:45,611 --> 00:20:48,045
SO DOES ANYONE ELSE HAVE
520
00:20:48,046 --> 00:20:49,948
ANYTHING THEY WANT
TO BE HONEST ABOUT?
521
00:20:51,850 --> 00:20:54,151
I HONESTLY WANT TO GET LAID
THIS THANKSGIVING.
522
00:20:54,152 --> 00:20:56,354
I AM TOUCHING MY WIFE
UNDER THE TABLE RIGHT NOW.
523
00:20:56,355 --> 00:20:57,955
STOP IT.
524
00:20:57,956 --> 00:20:59,290
STOP IT!
525
00:20:59,291 --> 00:21:01,192
I AM HONESTLY DISGUSTED
BY THAT,
526
00:21:01,193 --> 00:21:03,027
AND I WISH
I WAS AT BRENT'S HOUSE.
527
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:05,663
MAY I--
MAY I SAY SOMETHING?
528
00:21:05,664 --> 00:21:07,031
PLEASE.
SAY ANYTHING.
529
00:21:07,032 --> 00:21:08,966
SAY IT IN RUSSIAN
IF YOU HAVE TO.
530
00:21:08,967 --> 00:21:13,471
TODAY I AM HONESTLY
VERY GRATEFUL TO BE HERE
531
00:21:13,472 --> 00:21:16,841
WITH NEW FRIENDS
AND WITH SO MUCH FOOD
532
00:21:16,842 --> 00:21:19,210
THAT DOESN'T SEEM
TO GO TOGETHER, BUT...
533
00:21:19,211 --> 00:21:21,979
I AM--WANTED TO HEAR
MY GIRLFRIEND SAY
534
00:21:21,980 --> 00:21:25,149
THAT SHE LOVED ME TODAY,
BUT THAT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN,
535
00:21:25,150 --> 00:21:26,651
AND THAT'S OKAY.
536
00:21:26,652 --> 00:21:29,153
LOVING YOU IS STILL A GIFT
TO ME, ANDREA,
537
00:21:29,154 --> 00:21:31,088
EVEN IF YOU DON'T
LOVE ME BACK.
538
00:21:31,089 --> 00:21:33,659
AND I AM VERY GRATEFUL
FOR THAT FEELING.
539
00:21:38,397 --> 00:21:40,498
THIS IS YOUR FAULT.
540
00:21:40,499 --> 00:21:41,899
YOU'RE SO BROKEN
THAT I THOUGHT
541
00:21:41,900 --> 00:21:43,501
THAT EVERY GUY
WAS JUST LIKE YOU.
542
00:21:43,502 --> 00:21:44,702
YOU'RE MESSED UP.
543
00:21:44,703 --> 00:21:48,005
- I TOLD YOU HE LIKED YOU.
- HE LOVES ME.
544
00:21:48,006 --> 00:21:49,573
AND I LOVE HIM TOO.
545
00:21:49,574 --> 00:21:50,709
FOR REAL?
546
00:21:53,512 --> 00:21:54,679
AWW.
547
00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:56,180
NOW YOU'RE DROOLING
IN THE CHICKEN.
548
00:21:56,181 --> 00:21:57,548
- OKAY.
- AWESOME.
549
00:21:57,549 --> 00:22:00,284
HELL, YEAH.
HELL, YEAH.
550
00:22:00,285 --> 00:22:04,555
THAT IS SO BEAUTIFUL
AND INSPIRING.
551
00:22:04,556 --> 00:22:07,191
DON'T CRY.
HE SAID IT TO ME.
552
00:22:07,192 --> 00:22:08,759
BUT HE'S RIGHT.
553
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:12,930
BEING IN LOVE
MAKES YOU FEEL REALLY GOOD,
554
00:22:12,931 --> 00:22:16,568
AND IT MAKES YOU--
555
00:22:20,706 --> 00:22:24,509
I WANT TO BE MARRIED
TO THIS MAN.
556
00:22:26,111 --> 00:22:28,312
NOT--NOT BECAUSE I'M CARRYING
YOUR BABY AND I SHOULD,
557
00:22:28,313 --> 00:22:30,615
BUT BECAUSE I...
I LIKE YOU...
558
00:22:32,250 --> 00:22:33,918
BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.
559
00:22:33,919 --> 00:22:36,454
YOU'RE--YOU'RE SUCH
A CRAZY NUT JOB,
560
00:22:36,455 --> 00:22:38,356
BUT YOU NEVER LIE.
561
00:22:38,357 --> 00:22:41,258
I TRUST EVERY WORD
THAT COMES OUT OF YOUR MOUTH,
562
00:22:41,259 --> 00:22:43,494
AND--AND...
563
00:22:43,495 --> 00:22:47,164
I CANNOT WAIT TO HEAR YOU
TELL OUR DAUGHTER
564
00:22:47,165 --> 00:22:50,301
ABOUT THE HAZARDS
OF CELL PHONES
565
00:22:50,302 --> 00:22:52,803
AND ARTIFICIAL SWEETENERS
566
00:22:52,804 --> 00:22:54,438
AND HOW THE ASIAN CARP
IS ENDANGERING
567
00:22:54,439 --> 00:22:57,775
THE FRAGILE ECOSYSTEMS
OF OUR RIVERS
568
00:22:57,776 --> 00:23:00,778
AND--AND HOW SEEDS
TAKE YOUR BREATH AWAY
569
00:23:00,779 --> 00:23:04,215
BECAUSE THEY TURN
INTO THE MOST AMAZING PLANTS.
570
00:23:04,216 --> 00:23:06,784
SO...
571
00:23:06,785 --> 00:23:08,319
SEAN TOLKE...
572
00:23:12,491 --> 00:23:13,624
- I--
- REBECCA...
573
00:23:13,625 --> 00:23:15,493
REBECCA...
574
00:23:15,494 --> 00:23:17,161
WILL YOU MARRY ME?
- YES!
575
00:23:17,162 --> 00:23:19,964
OH!
OH! HA HA!
576
00:23:19,965 --> 00:23:21,399
HA HA!
577
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:24,802
SHOULD WE GET UP NOW?
578
00:23:24,803 --> 00:23:26,404
CATHY...
579
00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:30,241
WOULD YOU GIVE HIM YOUR RING
TO GIVE TO ME?
580
00:23:30,242 --> 00:23:33,077
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
581
00:23:33,078 --> 00:23:34,979
YOU--YOU SAID
YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT,
582
00:23:34,980 --> 00:23:37,148
AND YOU WERE GONNA LEAVE IT
TO ME ANYWAY.
583
00:23:37,149 --> 00:23:40,017
- I'M NOT DEAD YET, REBECCA.
- THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT.
584
00:23:40,018 --> 00:23:41,285
WHAT RING DON'T YOU LIKE?
585
00:23:41,286 --> 00:23:42,853
I--
586
00:23:42,854 --> 00:23:45,156
I TOLD HER I DIDN'T LIKE
MY ENGAGEMENT RING,
587
00:23:45,157 --> 00:23:47,124
BUT THAT'S NOT YOUR FAULT,
BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T PICK IT OUT.
588
00:23:47,125 --> 00:23:48,526
YOU NEVER TOLD ME THAT.
589
00:23:48,527 --> 00:23:50,694
I WOULD'VE BOUGHT YOU
A DIFFERENT RING.
590
00:23:50,695 --> 00:23:52,663
SEE? HE DOESN'T CARE.
YOU COULD JUST GET A NEW ONE.
591
00:23:52,664 --> 00:23:54,999
WE NEED A RECYCLED ONE.
IT'S PERFECT.
592
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:56,333
CATHY TOLD ME
THAT SHE DOESN'T LIKE
593
00:23:56,334 --> 00:23:57,902
YOUR MOM'S RING,
AND WE CAN HAVE IT.
594
00:23:57,903 --> 00:23:59,937
NO, THAT'S NOT EXACTLY
WHAT I SAID.
595
00:23:59,938 --> 00:24:01,472
WELL, TECHNICALLY,
I AM THE OLDEST,
596
00:24:01,473 --> 00:24:04,642
AND MOM PROBABLY
WOULD'VE WANTED ME TO HAVE IT,
597
00:24:04,643 --> 00:24:07,044
IF SHE HADN'T BEEN CONVINCED
THAT NOBODY IN THEIR RIGHT MIND
598
00:24:07,045 --> 00:24:08,679
WOULD EVER MARRY ME.
599
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:10,347
OH, LOOK AT ME NOW, MA.
600
00:24:10,348 --> 00:24:12,049
FINE. FINE.
HERE...
601
00:24:12,050 --> 00:24:14,118
- OH!
- GREAT.
602
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:15,886
HERE, TAKE IT.
603
00:24:15,887 --> 00:24:17,788
ARE YOU OKAY, HONEY?
604
00:24:17,789 --> 00:24:18,989
OH.
605
00:24:18,990 --> 00:24:21,158
I JUST--I JUST THINK
I HAD TOO MANY NUTS.
606
00:24:21,159 --> 00:24:23,060
OH, SIT DOWN.
607
00:24:23,061 --> 00:24:24,962
THAT'S FUNNY.
608
00:24:24,963 --> 00:24:27,865
YOU DON'T SEEM LIKE THE
FAKE-NAIL-WEARING TYPE OF GAL.
609
00:24:27,866 --> 00:24:29,800
UM, YEAH,
YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES.
610
00:24:29,801 --> 00:24:31,135
UH-HUH.
611
00:24:31,136 --> 00:24:33,137
SPECIAL--SPECIAL OCCASIONS,
HOLIDAYS.
612
00:24:33,138 --> 00:24:35,473
OR WHEN YOU'RE, UH, COVERING
UP THE SIDE EFFECTS
613
00:24:35,474 --> 00:24:37,141
OF THE TRIAL.
WHAT?
614
00:24:37,142 --> 00:24:39,411
DID YOU LIE TO ME ABOUT THAT?
615
00:24:42,180 --> 00:24:45,082
I JUST--
I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO FEEL BAD.
616
00:24:45,083 --> 00:24:46,317
WHY WOULD I FEEL BAD?
617
00:24:46,318 --> 00:24:48,252
YOU DON'T THINK
I'M ROOTING FOR YOU?
618
00:24:48,253 --> 00:24:50,554
NO--OF COURSE.
AND I'M ROOTING FOR YOU,
619
00:24:50,555 --> 00:24:54,492
WHICH IS WHY I DIDN'T SAY--
- OH, OH, I GET IT.
620
00:24:54,493 --> 00:24:56,494
YOU'RE NOT WORRIED THAT THIS
IS YOUR LAST THANKSGIVING.
621
00:24:56,495 --> 00:24:58,229
YOU THINK THAT IT'S MINE.
- THAT'S NOT TRUE.
622
00:24:58,230 --> 00:24:59,563
OH, COME ON.
COME ON.
623
00:24:59,564 --> 00:25:02,367
EVERYBODY ELSE IS BEING HONEST.
WHY CAN'T YOU?
624
00:25:03,768 --> 00:25:05,269
FINE.
625
00:25:05,270 --> 00:25:07,104
I THINK THINGS
ARE WORKING FOR ME
626
00:25:07,105 --> 00:25:08,572
AND NOT FOR YOU.
627
00:25:08,573 --> 00:25:10,007
AND I DIDN'T WANT TO RUB
YOUR FACE IN IT,
628
00:25:10,008 --> 00:25:11,775
BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT YOU.
629
00:25:11,776 --> 00:25:14,111
AND IF THAT'S SO WRONG,
THEN EXCUSE ME FOR LIVING.
630
00:25:14,112 --> 00:25:16,580
I HAVE STAYED ALIVE
FOR 12 YEARS
631
00:25:16,581 --> 00:25:17,948
THROUGH EIGHT CLINICAL TRIALS.
632
00:25:17,949 --> 00:25:19,617
HELL, I'M IN A TEXTBOOK
SOMEWHERE,
633
00:25:19,618 --> 00:25:21,652
SO I DON'T NEED
YOUR FUCKING PITY...
634
00:25:21,653 --> 00:25:23,053
OR YOUR PITY CAKE.
635
00:25:23,054 --> 00:25:24,455
HEY!
636
00:25:24,456 --> 00:25:26,557
YOU KNOW, WINE DOESN'T COME
OUT OF STUFF!
637
00:25:26,558 --> 00:25:27,892
I DIDN'T MEAN TO UPSET YOU.
638
00:25:27,893 --> 00:25:29,994
LET'S JUST GET THINGS
BACK ON TRACK HERE, PEOPLE.
639
00:25:29,995 --> 00:25:32,429
THE REALLY NOT VERY FUNNY JOKE
HERE IS ON YOU, CATHY,
640
00:25:32,430 --> 00:25:34,131
BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW
IF YOU READ THE SMALL PRINT
641
00:25:34,132 --> 00:25:35,799
WHEN YOU SIGNED UP
FOR THAT CLINICAL TRIAL,
642
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:37,368
BUT THOSE DRUGS
DON'T CURE YOU.
643
00:25:37,369 --> 00:25:39,303
HEY! YOU KNOCK THAT OFF
IN FRONT OF MY KID!
644
00:25:39,304 --> 00:25:41,438
- I'M NOT A KID.
- BORROWING A MIRACLE
645
00:25:41,439 --> 00:25:43,140
FROM A NONEXISTENT GOD,
646
00:25:43,141 --> 00:25:45,609
THE BEST THAT YOU CAN HOPE FOR
IS A LITTLE MORE TIME.
647
00:25:45,610 --> 00:25:48,646
AND I REALLY, REALLY HOPE
YOU GET IT, CATHY,
648
00:25:48,647 --> 00:25:52,616
BECAUSE YOU ARE
DEFINITELY NOT READY TO GO.
649
00:25:52,617 --> 00:25:54,285
OKAY, I'M READY
FOR YOU TO GO.
650
00:25:54,286 --> 00:25:55,819
- YEAH, ME TOO.
- MY PLEASURE.
651
00:25:55,820 --> 00:25:57,821
SEAN, I REALLY DON'T FEEL
SO GREAT.
652
00:25:57,822 --> 00:26:00,257
WELL, OF COURSE NOT, HONEY.
THIS IS TOXIC ENVIRONMENT.
653
00:26:00,258 --> 00:26:01,292
WE'RE GOING HOME.
654
00:26:01,293 --> 00:26:02,927
HAPPY THANKSGIVING...
655
00:26:02,928 --> 00:26:04,962
NOT.
- I'M SORRY, CATHY.
656
00:26:08,667 --> 00:26:10,267
HEY.
657
00:26:10,268 --> 00:26:13,270
LOOK, MARTY'S BACK.
658
00:26:22,113 --> 00:26:23,514
WHERE YOU GOING, HON?
659
00:26:26,785 --> 00:26:30,321
♪ THE NUMBER WAS ENGAGED ♪
660
00:26:40,765 --> 00:26:43,334
♪ NO ONE EVER WAITS ♪
661
00:26:43,335 --> 00:26:46,537
PLUCK IT, GUT IT.
662
00:26:46,538 --> 00:26:48,339
WE EAT AT MIDNIGHT.
663
00:26:59,117 --> 00:27:03,253
♪ SLOW ♪
664
00:27:08,059 --> 00:27:12,730
♪ JUST BREATHE ♪
665
00:27:14,966 --> 00:27:20,738
♪ SLOW ♪
48065
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