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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:09,608 PREVIOUSLY ON THE BIG C... 2 00:00:09,609 --> 00:00:12,545 - I LIKE THE WAY YOU ROLL, MYK. - I LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. 3 00:00:14,314 --> 00:00:15,981 I'M THINKING OF PROPOSING TO REBECCA. 4 00:00:15,982 --> 00:00:17,816 THAT IS TERRIFIC. 5 00:00:17,817 --> 00:00:19,485 YOU REALLY THINK ACUPUNCTURE COULD HELP? 6 00:00:19,486 --> 00:00:21,086 WHAT, NOW YOU'RE INTERESTED 'CAUSE IT'S HIS IDEA? 7 00:00:21,087 --> 00:00:22,554 I'M CURIOUS. 8 00:00:22,555 --> 00:00:24,156 YOU WEREN'T CURIOUS WHEN I JUST TOLD YOU ABOUT MY GUY. 9 00:00:24,157 --> 00:00:26,058 MY WOMAN SPECIALIZES IN CANCER PATIENTS. 10 00:00:26,059 --> 00:00:28,060 UM, YOU'RE ANNOYING. 11 00:00:28,061 --> 00:00:30,629 I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR BEING CATHY'S CANCER FRIEND... 12 00:00:30,630 --> 00:00:32,831 AND HER REGULAR FRIEND TOO. 13 00:00:32,832 --> 00:00:34,600 SICK PEOPLE NEED SICK FRIENDS. 14 00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:38,438 MY NAIL'S GONE. THE DRUGS ARE WORKING. 15 00:00:51,818 --> 00:00:53,886 ♪ IT'S SO HARD ♪ 16 00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:58,825 ♪ TO TURN YOUR LIFE OVER ♪ 17 00:01:00,660 --> 00:01:02,494 ♪ STEP OUT ♪ 18 00:01:02,495 --> 00:01:07,300 ♪ OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE ♪ 19 00:01:09,502 --> 00:01:13,105 ♪ IS THIS SOME KIND OF A JOKE? ♪ 20 00:01:13,106 --> 00:01:17,943 ♪ WILL SOMEONE WAKE ME UP SOON? ♪ 21 00:01:17,944 --> 00:01:23,282 ♪ AND TELL ME THIS WAS JUST A GAME WE PLAY ♪ 22 00:01:23,283 --> 00:01:28,321 ♪ CALLED LIFE ♪ 23 00:01:46,005 --> 00:01:47,473 ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 24 00:01:47,474 --> 00:01:48,841 YEAH, YEAH. 25 00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:51,577 I JUST RAN 5 MILES, AND IT FELT LIKE 6 1/2. 26 00:01:51,578 --> 00:01:55,214 I HAVE A PAIN IN THE NECK. THAT'S NOT A METAPHOR. 27 00:01:55,215 --> 00:01:57,182 WHY DON'T YOU SIT DOWN FOR A SECOND? 28 00:01:57,183 --> 00:01:59,051 I'M OKAY. 29 00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:00,486 I'VE GOTTEN USED TO ALWAYS HAVING 30 00:02:00,487 --> 00:02:02,955 A LITTLE PAIN SOMEWHERE, YOU KNOW? 31 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:05,290 SPEAKING OF PAIN, HAVE YOU HAD ANY COOL SIDE EFFECTS 32 00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:06,859 FROM OUR DRUGS YET-- 33 00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:11,029 BUTT RASH, CANKER SORES, FINGERNAILS FALLING OFF? 34 00:02:11,030 --> 00:02:12,931 UH, A BIRD POOPED ON ARM WHILE I WAS RUNNING. 35 00:02:12,932 --> 00:02:14,700 THAT ISN'T A SIDE EFFECT, IS IT? 36 00:02:16,102 --> 00:02:18,770 HOW ABOUT YOU? 37 00:02:18,771 --> 00:02:20,772 NOT YET. 38 00:02:20,773 --> 00:02:22,474 WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR THANKSGIVING? 39 00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:24,309 YOU VOLUNTEERING AT A HOMELESS SHELTER 40 00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:25,811 OR MENTORING HOMELESS YOUTH 41 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:28,914 OR SOMETHING ELSE HEROIC? 42 00:02:28,915 --> 00:02:30,449 THERE IS A HARD-BOILED EGG IN MY FRIDGE 43 00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:31,750 THAT IS NOT GONNA EAT ITSELF. 44 00:02:31,751 --> 00:02:34,953 OKAY, THAT IS NO WAY TO SPEND THE DAY. 45 00:02:34,954 --> 00:02:36,788 NO, YOU COME TO MY HOUSE. 46 00:02:36,789 --> 00:02:38,357 EAT REAL FOOD. 47 00:02:38,358 --> 00:02:39,658 OH, I'M SURE YOUR FAMILY 48 00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:41,627 DOESN'T WANT AN INTERLOPER HANGING AROUND. 49 00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:44,129 NO. TH--TH-- THEY'LL--THEY'LL LOVE IT, 50 00:02:44,130 --> 00:02:46,298 JUST AS LONG AS THEY DON'T HAVE TO GO TO MY FATHER'S 51 00:02:46,299 --> 00:02:47,799 AND LISTEN TO MY ANOREXIC STEPMOTHER 52 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:49,468 TALK ABOUT FOOD SHE'LL NEVER EAT 53 00:02:49,469 --> 00:02:51,703 AND WATCH MY FATHER WATCH TV. 54 00:02:51,704 --> 00:02:53,372 SOUNDS VERY META. 55 00:02:53,373 --> 00:02:55,307 OR "SUCKY," AS ADAM WOULD SAY. 56 00:02:55,308 --> 00:02:57,309 SO WE'RE JUST GONNA BE AT HOME, 57 00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:59,144 AND I'M GONNA HOST MY FIRST THANKSGIVING, 58 00:02:59,145 --> 00:03:00,779 AND DAD IS NOT INVITED. 59 00:03:00,780 --> 00:03:03,515 SEAN'S GONNA GET AN ECO-FRIENDLY TURKEY 60 00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:04,883 FROM SOMEBODY, 61 00:03:04,884 --> 00:03:06,752 AND I'M JUST GONNA MAKE ALL THE SIDES I LOVE, 62 00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:08,854 WHETHER THEY HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH THANKSGIVING OR NOT. 63 00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:11,924 WE'RE JUST GONNA, YOU KNOW... 64 00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:14,059 HAVE FUN. - YOU SURE YOU WANT ME THERE? 65 00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:15,060 YES. 66 00:03:15,061 --> 00:03:16,895 I WANT TO BE SURROUNDED 67 00:03:16,896 --> 00:03:19,031 BY MY FAMILY AND MY MOLE MATE. 68 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,566 SO WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE 69 00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:23,368 THANKSGIVING DAY FOOD, OR ANY FOOD, FOR THAT MATTER? 70 00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:24,937 AH. WELL, MY MOM'S PEOPLE ARE FRENCH, 71 00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:27,606 AND SHE USED TO MAKE A PRETTY AWESOME BASQUE CAKE, 72 00:03:27,607 --> 00:03:31,610 WHICH I STILL DREAM ABOUT AND TRY TO TASTE IN MY MIND. 73 00:03:31,611 --> 00:03:33,779 I AM GONNA FIND THE RECIPE ONLINE, 74 00:03:33,780 --> 00:03:34,980 AND I WILL BAKE IT FOR YOU. 75 00:03:34,981 --> 00:03:36,615 YOU REALLY DON'T WANT TO DO THAT. 76 00:03:36,616 --> 00:03:39,284 I-IT'S GOT TWO LAYERS OF PASTRY AND A CREAM CENTER, 77 00:03:39,285 --> 00:03:41,086 AND IT'S JUST A WHOLE THING. 78 00:03:41,087 --> 00:03:44,891 TURKEY AND BASQUE CAKE. 79 00:03:46,092 --> 00:03:48,260 YOU IN? - SURE. 80 00:03:48,261 --> 00:03:51,997 I WILL JUST, UH, THROW SOME HEAT ON MY NECK AND GRAB A SHOWER. 81 00:03:51,998 --> 00:03:55,000 GOOD, 'CAUSE YOU SMELL LIKE SWEAT AND BIRD POO. 82 00:03:55,001 --> 00:03:56,501 OH, YOU CAN LET YOURSELF OUT. 83 00:03:56,502 --> 00:03:57,970 ALL RIGHT. 2:00, MY HOUSE. 84 00:03:57,971 --> 00:03:59,505 GOBBLE. GOBBLE, GOBBLE. 85 00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:03,108 HEY, HAPPY THANKSGIVING, FRIEND... 86 00:04:03,109 --> 00:04:05,244 WHATEVER THAT MEANS. 87 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:06,745 TIME TO BE GRATEFUL, YES? 88 00:04:06,746 --> 00:04:08,247 YEAH, I'M ESPECIALLY GRATEFUL 89 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,582 FOR THE FUCKING HEALTH-CARE SYSTEM IN THIS COUNTRY, 90 00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:13,752 WHICH IS RETROACTIVELY DENYING ME A $3,000 BILL. 91 00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:15,120 WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 92 00:04:15,121 --> 00:04:16,455 YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, MYK? 93 00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:18,090 THAT MEANS THAT THEY SAID, "OKAY, WE'LL PAY IT." 94 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,591 THEN THEY SAID, "OH, WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? 95 00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:21,593 WE'RE NOT GONNA PAY IT. WE WANT OUR MONEY BACK." 96 00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:23,428 THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS. ISN'T THAT NICE? 97 00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:24,963 IT'S LOVELY. 98 00:04:24,964 --> 00:04:26,765 AT LEAST WE MADE DOUBLE TIME AND A HALF TODAY. 99 00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:28,767 I'M VERY GRATEFUL FOR THAT. 100 00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:30,269 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GRATEFUL FOR? 101 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,137 I'M GRATEFUL FOR THE FACT THAT YOU ARE COMING 102 00:04:32,138 --> 00:04:33,772 OVER TO MY HOUSE FOR THANKSGIVING. 103 00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:36,308 AND I'M GONNA DO SOMETHING I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO, 104 00:04:36,309 --> 00:04:39,811 SOMETHING THAT I HAVE, LIKE, LAID AWAKE AT NIGHT DREAMING OF, 105 00:04:39,812 --> 00:04:41,113 SOMETHING THAT I'VE RESEARCHED 106 00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,848 AT 3:00 IN THE MORNING WHEN I COULDN'T SLEEP. 107 00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:44,116 WHAT IS THIS THING? 108 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,884 WHAT IS THIS MAGICAL, MAGICAL THING? 109 00:04:45,885 --> 00:04:47,786 MY DEAR NEW FRIEND... 110 00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:51,123 I AM GONNA DEEP-FRY A TURKEY. - OH. 111 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,624 OH, IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE SO MOIST. 112 00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,459 I'M SO EXCITED. I'M JUST GONNA LET THE JUICES 113 00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:55,794 DRIBBLE DOWN MY CHIN LIKE THAT-- 114 00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:57,296 NO APOLOGIES, JUST LIKE THAT. 115 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,298 I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO TURKEY, 116 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,199 BUT MOSTLY, I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE ANDREA TONIGHT. 117 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:03,068 I LIKE HER VERY MUCH, PAUL. 118 00:05:03,069 --> 00:05:07,005 I LIKE LOOKING AT HER. I LIKE TALKING TO HER. 119 00:05:07,006 --> 00:05:09,741 SHE PUTS A SKIP IN MY STEP. 120 00:05:09,742 --> 00:05:12,044 REALLY HAPPY FOR YOU. I-I LIKE HER TOO-- 121 00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:13,345 I MEAN, NOT THE WAY YOU DO. 122 00:05:13,346 --> 00:05:14,713 I JUST MEAN... - YEAH. 123 00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:15,914 SHE'S A GREAT GIRL. 124 00:05:15,915 --> 00:05:17,382 SO I'LL SEE YOU LATER ON? 125 00:05:17,383 --> 00:05:19,117 - YES. - ALL RIGHT. 126 00:05:19,118 --> 00:05:22,255 YOU GOT THE ADDRESS? - YES, SIR. 127 00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:48,480 I WOULD'VE GONE WITH ONES 128 00:05:48,481 --> 00:05:50,515 WITH FAUX DIAMOND HEARTS ON THEM. 129 00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:53,452 THEY SAY, "I'M GIRLY, BUT I CAN SCRATCH YOU." 130 00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:55,253 NO, CATHY'S NOT A SCRATCHER. 131 00:05:55,254 --> 00:05:57,122 AND I'M TRYING TO BE SUBTLE. 132 00:05:57,123 --> 00:06:00,125 PROMISE ME YOU GUYS WILL NOT SAY ANYTHING TO LEE ABOUT MY NAILS. 133 00:06:00,126 --> 00:06:02,060 I MEAN, HE'S NOT HAVING THE SAME SIDE EFFECTS I AM, 134 00:06:02,061 --> 00:06:03,562 AND I DON'T WANT HIM TO FEEL BAD. 135 00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:04,930 PROMISE. 136 00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:06,398 SO, SINCE YOU'RE LOSING YOUR NAILS, 137 00:06:06,399 --> 00:06:08,066 THAT MEANS YOU'RE LOSING YOUR CANCER? 138 00:06:08,067 --> 00:06:10,268 WELL, THAT'S WHAT WE HOPE IS HAPPENING. 139 00:06:10,269 --> 00:06:13,572 I HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT THAT MY TUMORS SPROUTED WINGS 140 00:06:13,573 --> 00:06:15,073 AND FLEW OUT OF MY MOUTH. 141 00:06:15,074 --> 00:06:16,608 I REMEMBER CALLING OUT TO THEM, 142 00:06:16,609 --> 00:06:19,044 "COME BACK IF YOU NEED ANYTHING." 143 00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:21,012 WHY WOULD I SAY THAT? 144 00:06:21,013 --> 00:06:23,348 BECAUSE YOU'RE A MOM. 145 00:06:23,349 --> 00:06:25,917 GOD, I LOVE YOUR ENGAGEMENT RING. 146 00:06:25,918 --> 00:06:28,620 I NEVER NOTICED IT. IT'S SO PRETTY. 147 00:06:28,621 --> 00:06:30,122 - REALLY? - YEAH. 148 00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:32,257 I'VE NEVER REALLY LOVED IT. IT WAS MY MOM'S. 149 00:06:32,258 --> 00:06:34,659 MY DAD GAVE IT TO PAUL WHEN HE WAS GOING TO PROPOSE. 150 00:06:34,660 --> 00:06:36,928 HE WAS SO PROUD. HE THOUGHT IT WAS SO SPECIAL. 151 00:06:36,929 --> 00:06:39,264 AND AS SOON AS I OPENED THAT BOX, 152 00:06:39,265 --> 00:06:42,601 I THOUGHT, "OH, NO, NOT MOM'S UGLY RING." 153 00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:44,636 WELL, I LOVED YOUR MOTHER, 154 00:06:44,637 --> 00:06:46,471 AND I LOVE THAT RING. 155 00:06:46,472 --> 00:06:48,940 WELL, THEN I'LL LEAVE IT TO YOU IN MY WILL. 156 00:06:48,941 --> 00:06:52,144 DON'T GET ALL DARK. THE TUMORS FLEW AWAY, REMEMBER? 157 00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:54,613 BUT I DO WANT A RING ON MY FINGER SO BAD, 158 00:06:54,614 --> 00:06:56,081 I CAN TASTE IT. 159 00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:58,116 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WANT TO MARRY SEAN. 160 00:06:58,117 --> 00:07:00,485 HE LOOKS LIKE JESUS, ONLY ANGRIER. 161 00:07:00,486 --> 00:07:03,088 MAYBE I'LL START CALLING YOU "MAGS" FOR MARY MAGDALENE. 162 00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:05,557 - HIS MOTHER? - NO, HIS PROSTITUTE GIRLFRIEND. 163 00:07:05,558 --> 00:07:06,625 READ A BIBLE. 164 00:07:06,626 --> 00:07:07,726 THAT'S WHY I WANT A RING, 165 00:07:07,727 --> 00:07:09,394 'CAUSE I FEEL KIND OF PROSTITUTE-Y 166 00:07:09,395 --> 00:07:11,296 BEING KNOCKED UP AND NOT MARRIED. 167 00:07:11,297 --> 00:07:13,899 WOW. THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE YOU. 168 00:07:13,900 --> 00:07:15,400 EXACTLY. 169 00:07:15,401 --> 00:07:16,935 AND MAYBE IT'S THE HORMONES, 170 00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:19,070 BUT I DON'T WANT MY DAUGHTER TO KNOW ME 171 00:07:19,071 --> 00:07:22,774 AS CRAZY, INDEPENDENT, DRINKS-RUM-WITH-OMELETS REBECCA. 172 00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:24,209 I WANT HER TO PLAY WITH MY RING 173 00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:27,012 AND ASK ME HOW MOMMY AND DADDY FELL IN LOVE. 174 00:07:27,013 --> 00:07:28,780 I HEAR MYSELF TALKING, 175 00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:31,783 AND IT MAKES ME A LITTLE SICK, BUT IT'S TRUE. 176 00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:32,884 THAT'S NICE. 177 00:07:32,885 --> 00:07:34,119 I LOVE WEDDINGS. 178 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,687 I'VE GOT MINE ALL PLANNED OUT. 179 00:07:35,688 --> 00:07:37,622 DOES MYK KNOW? 180 00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:39,257 DON'T MAKE A BLACK GIRL BLUSH. 181 00:07:39,258 --> 00:07:41,493 I'VE HAD IT PLANNED LONG BEFORE I EVEN MET HIM. 182 00:07:41,494 --> 00:07:43,695 HE'S GOT TO EARN THE RIGHT TO RIDE MY DREAM. 183 00:07:43,696 --> 00:07:45,597 I LIKE YOUR ATTITUDE. 184 00:07:45,598 --> 00:07:47,666 THANK YOU, MAGS. 185 00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:49,267 GOT IT. 186 00:07:49,268 --> 00:07:50,669 GOT THE TURKEY. 187 00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:52,471 SAY HELLO AND GOOD-BYE. 188 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:53,638 HEY, HONEY. - HI. 189 00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:56,241 HOW ARE YOU? HOW YOU FEELING? 190 00:07:56,242 --> 00:07:57,742 - FAT IN THE THIGHS. - OH. 191 00:07:57,743 --> 00:07:59,077 OH. 192 00:07:59,078 --> 00:08:01,146 I-I THINK I JUST FELT HER FIRST KICK. 193 00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:02,814 SHE KNOWS YOUR VOICE. 194 00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:04,816 - OH. - EXCUSE ME. 195 00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:06,685 EXCUSE ME! 196 00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:08,487 WHY IS IT ALIVE? 197 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:09,754 EXACTLY. 198 00:08:09,755 --> 00:08:12,257 THIS GUY WON'T KILL THEM. 199 00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:13,959 CAN I GO TO BRENT'S, PLEASE? 200 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,193 ON THANKSGIVING DAY? NO. 201 00:08:15,194 --> 00:08:16,628 SEAN. - HMM? 202 00:08:16,629 --> 00:08:18,029 WHY DID I PUT YOU IN CHARGE OF THE TURKEY? 203 00:08:18,030 --> 00:08:20,298 YOU SAID THAT IT WAS GONNA BE-- - IT WAS GOING TO BE ORGANIC 204 00:08:20,299 --> 00:08:22,367 AND FREE-RANGE AND FROM MY FRIEND'S FARM. 205 00:08:22,368 --> 00:08:24,703 KILLING IT OURSELVES-- 206 00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:26,972 IT GIVES US THE OPPORTUNITY TO LEARN. 207 00:08:26,973 --> 00:08:29,241 WHY WOULDN'T YOU BRING IT TO ME HEADLESS AND NAKED 208 00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:30,909 LIKE GOD INTENDED? 209 00:08:30,910 --> 00:08:32,344 WELL, LIVING AUTHENTICALLY 210 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,379 MEANS BEING IN TOUCH WITH THE CIRCLE OF LIFE. 211 00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:36,448 I AM JUST GOING TO TEACH YOUNG ADAM HERE 212 00:08:36,449 --> 00:08:38,884 WHAT I'LL BE TEACHING MY OWN KID SOON ENOUGH. 213 00:08:38,885 --> 00:08:40,185 WHENEVER POSSIBLE, 214 00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:43,689 YOU SHOULD PLANT OR KILL YOUR OWN FOOD. 215 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:48,828 IT'S LIKE HE HAS SOME WEIRD POWER OVER ME. 216 00:08:53,132 --> 00:08:55,066 HI. 217 00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:56,568 HEY. I HOPE YOU LIKE WINE. 218 00:08:56,569 --> 00:08:58,103 OH. COME ON IN. 219 00:08:58,104 --> 00:09:00,171 HERE, JUST--YOU CAN PUT IT RIGHT OVER THERE. 220 00:09:00,172 --> 00:09:02,140 TO BE HONEST, I ESPECIALLY LIKE A HOLIDAY 221 00:09:02,141 --> 00:09:04,009 WHERE SOMEONE GETS TOO DRUNK TO STAND, 222 00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:05,544 EVEN IF IT HAS TO BE ME. 223 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,879 OH, IF WE DRINK ALL OF THAT, NOBODY'S GONNA REMEMBER. 224 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,681 I'VE GOT TO GET BACK TO WHISKING. 225 00:09:09,682 --> 00:09:11,683 THAT BASQUE CAKE IS NO JOKE. 226 00:09:11,684 --> 00:09:13,852 - OH, YOU REALLY DON'T HAVE TO-- - NO, I WANT TO. 227 00:09:13,853 --> 00:09:16,254 ANDREA, LEE. LEE, ANDREA. 228 00:09:16,255 --> 00:09:19,090 AND, ANDREA, I NEED YOU TO PUT THESE... 229 00:09:19,091 --> 00:09:20,392 PAPER TURKEYS-- 230 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,027 TAPE THEM TOGETHER AND PUT THEM ALL AROUND THE HOUSE. 231 00:09:22,028 --> 00:09:23,562 THEY'RE SO CUTE. 232 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,763 THANKS. 233 00:09:24,764 --> 00:09:26,298 HEY. 234 00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:28,833 I'M FAT, AND YOU'RE GAY, SO WE'RE SUPPOSED TO GET ALONG. 235 00:09:28,834 --> 00:09:33,705 WELL, THEN I BET WE WILL. 236 00:09:33,706 --> 00:09:35,307 HI. REBECCA. 237 00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:36,308 HI. LEE. 238 00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:37,842 UH, WINE? 239 00:09:37,843 --> 00:09:39,277 OH, I'M PREGNANT, 240 00:09:39,278 --> 00:09:40,879 SO I'LL JUST BE SNIFFING THE CORKS 241 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:42,847 AND TONGUE-KISSING PEOPLE WHO ARE DRINKING. 242 00:09:42,848 --> 00:09:44,516 - OKAY. - NICE TO MEET YOU. 243 00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:45,984 YOU TOO. 244 00:09:45,985 --> 00:09:48,186 HEY! 245 00:09:48,187 --> 00:09:49,387 OH, HEY. 246 00:09:49,388 --> 00:09:51,856 COME GIVE DADDY BEAR A BIG HUG! 247 00:09:51,857 --> 00:09:54,059 - GOOD TO SEE YOU-- - OH-HO-HO! 248 00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:57,362 - HOW ARE YOU DOING, PAUL? - OH, I'M DOING GOOD NOW. 249 00:09:57,363 --> 00:09:59,030 LET ME TAKE THESE OFF YOUR HANDS. 250 00:09:59,031 --> 00:10:01,266 OKAY. 251 00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:03,702 SO WHAT DO WE DO EXACTLY? 252 00:10:03,703 --> 00:10:06,338 YEAH. 253 00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:09,541 UM, ALL RIGHT, FIRST, WE THANK IT. 254 00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:10,709 FOR WHAT? 255 00:10:10,710 --> 00:10:12,577 IT MADE SO MUCH NOISE IN THE CAR, 256 00:10:12,578 --> 00:10:14,546 I THINK I'M DEAF IN ONE EAR. - ALL RIGHT. 257 00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:18,583 TURKEY, THANK YOU FOR GIVING YOUR LIFE TO US 258 00:10:18,584 --> 00:10:21,886 SO THAT WE MAY NOURISH OUR BODIES WITH YOURS 259 00:10:21,887 --> 00:10:25,223 AND GATHER STRENGTH TO BE KIND, 260 00:10:25,224 --> 00:10:27,325 GOOD, AND RECYCLE. 261 00:10:27,326 --> 00:10:29,060 AND NOW YOU HAVE A CHOICE. 262 00:10:29,061 --> 00:10:31,563 YOU CAN EITHER WRING ITS NECK OR CHOP ITS HEAD OFF. 263 00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:32,931 NO WAY. 264 00:10:32,932 --> 00:10:34,466 WELL, UH, I-IF YOU'RE GONNA EAT IT, 265 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:35,800 YOU HAVE TO KILL IT. 266 00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:38,036 WHY DO I HAVE TO KILL IT? WHY DON'T YOU KILL IT? 267 00:10:38,037 --> 00:10:40,572 ALL RIGHT, UM... 268 00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:41,840 WE WILL DO IT TOGETHER. 269 00:10:41,841 --> 00:10:46,144 I'LL HOLD IT, AND YOU CAN, UM, CHOP OR WRING. 270 00:10:46,145 --> 00:10:48,980 NO, I'M NOT DOING THAT. OKAY, I'LL HOLD IT. 271 00:10:48,981 --> 00:10:51,082 ALL RIGHT, FINE. FINE. 272 00:10:51,083 --> 00:10:52,484 WHERE'S THE CLEAVER? 273 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,653 GOOD-BYE, MARTY. 274 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,955 WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? 275 00:10:56,956 --> 00:11:00,058 I JUST SAID GOOD-BYE LIKE YOU DID. 276 00:11:00,059 --> 00:11:01,526 BUT... 277 00:11:01,527 --> 00:11:03,194 YOU JUST NAMED HIM. 278 00:11:03,195 --> 00:11:04,462 WHY DID YOU NAME HIM? 279 00:11:04,463 --> 00:11:07,132 I DON'T KNOW. HE LOOKS--HE LOOKS LIKE A MARTY. 280 00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:09,034 WELL, GREAT. 281 00:11:09,035 --> 00:11:10,902 NOW WE CAN'T KILL IT. 282 00:11:10,903 --> 00:11:13,738 NOW HE'S LIKE A-A MEMBER OF THE FAMILY OR SOMETHING. 283 00:11:13,739 --> 00:11:15,573 IT'S LIKE YOU JUST BREATHED INTO HIS MOUTH 284 00:11:15,574 --> 00:11:16,941 AND GAVE HIM A SOUL. 285 00:11:16,942 --> 00:11:19,177 WAIT. YOU JUST DON'T WANT TO KILL HIM. 286 00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:20,879 WELL, NO, BECAUSE NOW HE HAS A NAME. 287 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,148 I MEAN, HE'S PROBABLY GOT A-A FAVORITE COLOR OR SOMETHING. 288 00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:24,816 - OH, MARTY. MARTY. - MARTY. 289 00:11:24,817 --> 00:11:27,252 MARTY, DON'T GO INTO THE STREET. 290 00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:28,820 DON'T GOT INTO THE STREET, MARTY! 291 00:11:28,821 --> 00:11:31,890 ♪ IF YOU'RE WRONG ♪ 292 00:11:31,891 --> 00:11:34,659 ♪ I DON'T WANT TO BE RIGHT ♪ 293 00:11:34,660 --> 00:11:37,295 ♪ FEELING GOOD ♪ 294 00:11:37,296 --> 00:11:39,197 - HI. - HELLO. 295 00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:40,398 - I'M REBECCA. - MYK. 296 00:11:40,399 --> 00:11:42,567 HAPPY THANKSGIVING. 297 00:11:42,568 --> 00:11:44,869 HELLO, SWEETHEART. 298 00:11:47,006 --> 00:11:49,140 HAPPY THANKSGIVING. 299 00:11:49,141 --> 00:11:50,675 WHAT THE-- 300 00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:55,747 AAH! I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT! 301 00:11:55,748 --> 00:11:58,883 THAT MAKES ME VERY HAPPY, BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. 302 00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:00,819 YOU DON'T LOVE ME. 303 00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:03,154 YOU DON'T KNOW ME. WE'VE BEEN ON TWO DATES. 304 00:12:03,155 --> 00:12:04,522 BUT I LOVE WHAT I KNOW SO FAR. 305 00:12:04,523 --> 00:12:06,658 OH, DO YOU? 306 00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:08,293 OR ARE YOU JUST TRYING TO GET 307 00:12:08,294 --> 00:12:10,428 INTO MY PANTS AS SOON AS YOU CAN, HMM? 308 00:12:10,429 --> 00:12:11,963 AND THEN WHAT HAPPENS? 309 00:12:11,964 --> 00:12:14,399 SUDDENLY YOU CANCEL OUR DATE 'CAUSE YOU HAVE A SINUS THING. 310 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,201 AND THEN I RUN INTO YOU AT THE MALL 311 00:12:16,202 --> 00:12:18,703 WITH SOME SKINNY BLONDE BITCH ON YOUR ARM, RIGHT? 312 00:12:18,704 --> 00:12:21,539 MM-MM. I WILL NOT BE PLAYED, PLAYER. 313 00:12:21,540 --> 00:12:22,774 I WILL NOT BE PLAYED. 314 00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:26,878 NO TURKEY FOR THANKSGIVING. 315 00:12:26,879 --> 00:12:28,713 WE'RE GONNA BE TURKEY LIGHT. 316 00:12:28,714 --> 00:12:31,182 OH, LOOK, IT'S CATHY'S CARETAKER. 317 00:12:31,183 --> 00:12:34,252 DID YOU COME TO CONTROL CATHY'S EXPERIENCE OF THANKSGIVING? 318 00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:35,320 AWESOME. 319 00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:37,889 I CAME TO GET DRUNK AND EAT CAKE. 320 00:12:37,890 --> 00:12:39,390 SEAN, WHAT HAPPENED? 321 00:12:39,391 --> 00:12:40,759 MARTY ESCAPED. 322 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,227 WE CHASED HIM FOR, LIKE, SIX BLOCKS. 323 00:12:42,228 --> 00:12:43,962 - WHO? - TURKEY LURKY... 324 00:12:43,963 --> 00:12:47,599 WENT OVER A FENCE IN KIND OF A RUNNING, HOPPING, FLYING LEAP. 325 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,101 I GOT FIVE GALLONS OF PEANUT OIL HEATING UP OUTSIDE. 326 00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:52,871 W-WHAT AM I GONNA FRY IN THAT? - UH, YOUR ATTITUDE. 327 00:12:52,872 --> 00:12:55,907 MAYBE WE COULD ORDER A PIZZA. I'M GETTING A LITTLE WOOZY. 328 00:12:55,908 --> 00:12:57,709 YOU JUST NEED SOME PROTEIN, BABE. 329 00:12:57,710 --> 00:12:58,910 I-I'LL GET YOU SOME NUTS. 330 00:12:58,911 --> 00:13:00,879 SO NOW HE'S JUST OUT THERE COLD AND ALONE? 331 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:03,214 OH, DON'T WORRY. THAT TURKEY CAN TAKE CARE OF ITSELF. 332 00:13:03,215 --> 00:13:06,585 THAT FUCKER WAS STRONG, FAST, AND DEFINITELY HAD A PLAN. 333 00:13:08,687 --> 00:13:09,921 WOULD YOU MAKE ME A SANDWICH? 334 00:13:09,922 --> 00:13:12,157 SURE. 335 00:13:12,158 --> 00:13:14,559 HEY, UH, DON'T LEAVE 'CAUSE WE DON'T HAVE ANY TURKEY. 336 00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:16,528 SERIOUSLY, WE--WE GOT A TON OF NUTS TO GO AROUND. 337 00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:18,396 WHO ARE YOU? - MY NAME IS MYK. 338 00:13:18,397 --> 00:13:19,764 I'VE BEEN DATING ANDREA. 339 00:13:19,765 --> 00:13:21,232 BUT SOMETHING WEIRD JUST HAPPENED TO HER, 340 00:13:21,233 --> 00:13:22,700 AND NOW I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD LEAVE. 341 00:13:22,701 --> 00:13:24,702 UH, PEOPLE GET CRAZY ON HOLIDAYS 342 00:13:24,703 --> 00:13:27,739 AND ESPECIALLY THIS ONE, 'CAUSE THIS IS A CRAZY HOLIDAY. 343 00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:29,274 IT'S ONLY MY FIRST THANKSGIVING. 344 00:13:29,275 --> 00:13:31,910 YEAH? OH. WELL, LET ME EXPLAIN IT, MYK. 345 00:13:31,911 --> 00:13:33,711 PILGRIMS CAME OVER TO THIS NEW LAND 346 00:13:33,712 --> 00:13:37,382 FOR A "NEW START, LEAVE THE PAST BEHIND" TYPE OF SITCH. 347 00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:39,551 HMM. THAT SOUNDS OKAY. 348 00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:42,086 EXCEPT WE WERE TOO STUPID TO GROW OUR OWN FOOD. 349 00:13:42,087 --> 00:13:43,588 SO WE BEGGED THE INDIANS 350 00:13:43,589 --> 00:13:45,490 TO TEACH US HOW TO FARM, WHICH THEY DID. 351 00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:48,393 THEN WE GOT STRONG ENOUGH TO BURN THEIR VILLAGES 352 00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:49,994 AND KICK THEM OFF THEIR OWN LAND, 353 00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:52,397 AND THEN WE WERE LIKE, "GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR SMALLPOX." 354 00:13:52,398 --> 00:13:54,566 THE ONLY REASON I'M EVEN ACKNOWLEDGING 355 00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:56,801 THIS TRAIN WRECK OF A HOLIDAY 356 00:13:56,802 --> 00:13:59,237 IS 'CAUSE I'M ON MOOD STABILIZERS. 357 00:14:00,606 --> 00:14:03,174 EVERY STORE IN TOWN IS OUT OF TURKEYS. 358 00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:05,176 AH. NO BIG DEAL. 359 00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:06,411 OH, YEAH, WELL, WAIT. 360 00:14:06,412 --> 00:14:08,012 YOU'RE A BUDDHIST. YOU DON'T EAT MEAT. 361 00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:10,048 I USED TO BE A VEGETARIAN 362 00:14:10,049 --> 00:14:12,550 UNTIL ONE OF MY MEDS MADE ME REALLY ANEMIC, 363 00:14:12,551 --> 00:14:13,852 AND I STARTED EATING FISH, 364 00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,787 WHICH TURNED OUT TO BE A GATEWAY MEAT 365 00:14:15,788 --> 00:14:19,190 TO CHICKEN, STEAK, VEAL-- YOU GET THE PICTURE. 366 00:14:19,191 --> 00:14:21,526 I LOVE TURKEY, BUT WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? 367 00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:24,162 - A LOT OF PEOPLE NEEDING NUTS. - THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT. 368 00:14:24,163 --> 00:14:26,264 IF YOU'D JUST LET ME BUY A NORMAL TURKEY 369 00:14:26,265 --> 00:14:28,166 FROM A STORE INSTEAD OF INSISTING 370 00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:29,734 THIS BE PART OF YOUR SOCIAL AGENDA, 371 00:14:29,735 --> 00:14:31,202 EVERYTHING WOULD'VE BEEN PERFECT. 372 00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:33,538 OH, LOOK, MY SISTER'S HAVING AN INAPPROPRIATE REACTION 373 00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:35,039 TO SOMETHING INCONSEQUENTIAL. 374 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:37,475 MUST BE A HOLIDAY. 375 00:14:37,476 --> 00:14:41,447 YOU'RE NOT DOING A VERY GOOD JOB CONTROLLING HER. 376 00:14:43,582 --> 00:14:46,351 YOU KNOW, ONE DAY YOU'RE GONNA FIND ALL THIS REALLY FUNNY. 377 00:14:46,352 --> 00:14:48,052 SO WHY NOT LAUGH ABOUT IT NOW? 378 00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:51,122 A BIRD SHIT ON ME THIS MORNING, AND I LAUGHED. 379 00:14:51,123 --> 00:14:52,557 AND I RESPECT THAT, 380 00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,559 BUT THIS IS MY FIRST THANKSGIVING-- 381 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:56,895 AND YOU'RE ACTING LIKE IT'S GONNA BE YOUR LAST. 382 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,130 WHERE'S YOUR CONFIDENCE, CATHY? 383 00:14:59,131 --> 00:15:03,167 YOU WILL HAVE TURKEY NEXT YEAR. 384 00:15:03,168 --> 00:15:05,337 GET IN HERE. 385 00:15:08,507 --> 00:15:10,074 - I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE. - HMM. 386 00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:12,744 WE CAN STILL BASK IN THE BASQUE CAKE. 387 00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:15,013 OH, CRAP. I FORGOT. I'VE GOT TO ROLL THE DOUGH. 388 00:15:15,014 --> 00:15:18,182 O-OKAY, I NEED SOMETHING TO FRY. 389 00:15:18,183 --> 00:15:19,550 WHEAT THINS. 390 00:15:19,551 --> 00:15:21,085 THEY'RE ALREADY CRUNCHY. DAMN IT. 391 00:15:21,086 --> 00:15:23,154 WHAT ABOUT MACARONI-AND-CHEESE BALLS? 392 00:15:23,155 --> 00:15:25,857 WE MAKE THEM BACK HOME IN MY BAR, AND THEY ARE DIVINE. 393 00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:28,159 - WE'LL PUT THEM ON STICKS. - YEAH. 394 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:29,828 NO, NOT--NOT MY MACARONI. 395 00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:37,001 JUST MAKE MINE EXTRA CRISPY. 396 00:15:37,002 --> 00:15:39,504 ATTAGIRL. 397 00:15:39,505 --> 00:15:42,373 SO, UH, WHAT DO YOU USUALLY DO THANKSGIVING? 398 00:15:42,374 --> 00:15:44,509 UH, NOTHING SPECIAL... 399 00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:47,712 ALTHOUGH I DID ONCE GET TWO BLOW JOBS. 400 00:15:47,713 --> 00:15:49,147 THAT WAS SPECIAL. - WOW. 401 00:15:49,148 --> 00:15:51,049 ONE OF THE GUYS WAS WEARING A PILGRIM HAT, 402 00:15:51,050 --> 00:15:52,417 AND I WILL NEVER FORGET HIM. 403 00:15:52,418 --> 00:15:53,518 - WOW. - HMM. 404 00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:56,187 YOU GAY GUYS REALLY PRIORITIZE SEX. 405 00:15:56,188 --> 00:15:57,889 IT'S AWESOME. 406 00:15:57,890 --> 00:15:59,857 I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER EVEN HAD SEX ON THANKSGIVING. 407 00:15:59,858 --> 00:16:03,461 I'M ALWAYS SO--SO BLOATED AND TIRED, YOU KNOW? 408 00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:05,330 TRYPTOPHAN IS A BITCH. 409 00:16:05,331 --> 00:16:08,466 WELL, NO TURKEY TODAY, JUST A LOT OF FRIED PASTA, 410 00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:11,803 WHICH WE'RE ALMOST OUT OF, SO, UH, ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S NEXT, HUH? 411 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,438 OH. 412 00:16:13,439 --> 00:16:14,906 WHAT? 413 00:16:14,907 --> 00:16:16,274 HA HA! 414 00:16:16,275 --> 00:16:18,343 SORRY, SUCKER. YOU'RE GOING IN. 415 00:16:18,344 --> 00:16:19,510 WHAT DO YOU GOT THERE? 416 00:16:19,511 --> 00:16:21,279 IT'S OUR LATEST INSURANCE BILL. 417 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,648 IT LOOKS A HELL OF A LOT LIKE OUR LAST THREE INSURANCE BILLS. 418 00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:26,417 MAKE IT SUFFER, PLEASE, ON BEHALF OF ALL INSURANCE BILLS. 419 00:16:26,418 --> 00:16:28,486 DIE, BITCH. 420 00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:32,056 WHOA! 421 00:16:32,057 --> 00:16:33,958 CAN I PLAY WITH YOU GUYS? 422 00:16:33,959 --> 00:16:35,660 - YES, COME PLAY WITH US. - COME PLAY WITH US. 423 00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:37,996 COME ON. I WILL BE RIGHT BACK WITH ANOTHER BOTTLE. 424 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,497 HERE. 425 00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:42,101 - MM. - BE MY GUEST. 426 00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:46,871 THESE ARE VERY GOOD. 427 00:16:46,872 --> 00:16:50,341 HELL, YES. 428 00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:54,412 HEY, UH... 429 00:16:54,413 --> 00:16:58,016 I NOTICED YOU LEAVING WITH SOME CELL PHONES TODAY. 430 00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:01,452 OH, YES. SOME GIFTS FOR SOME FRIENDS. 431 00:17:01,453 --> 00:17:03,287 YEAH, YOU'RE A VERY GENEROUS FRIEND. 432 00:17:03,288 --> 00:17:05,857 AND THAT NECKLACE YOU GOT FOR ANDREA-- 433 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,792 WOW, THAT'S EXPENSIVE. 434 00:17:07,793 --> 00:17:11,362 I MEAN, IF YOU'RE MAKING WHAT I'M MAKING AT THE MAX BUY, 435 00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:13,931 YOU'RE MAKING YOUR DOLLAR GO A LOT FARTHER THAN I AM. 436 00:17:13,932 --> 00:17:15,600 WHAT'S YOUR SECRET? 437 00:17:15,601 --> 00:17:19,070 I LIVE WITH FOUR GUYS IN A TWO-BEDROOM APARTMENT. 438 00:17:19,071 --> 00:17:21,105 BUDDY, LOOK... 439 00:17:21,106 --> 00:17:23,307 I'LL CLEAN OUT MY BASEMENT. YOU CAN LIVE THERE. 440 00:17:23,308 --> 00:17:25,276 YOU CAN'T BE STEALING STUFF. 441 00:17:25,277 --> 00:17:27,478 YOU KNOW, YOU'LL SCREW UP YOUR ENTIRE FUTURE, 442 00:17:27,479 --> 00:17:29,313 NOT TO MENTION CORRODE YOUR SOUL. 443 00:17:29,314 --> 00:17:30,948 ARE YOU TRYING TO SCARE ME, PAUL? 444 00:17:30,949 --> 00:17:32,450 BECAUSE I DON'T SCARE EASILY. - NO. 445 00:17:32,451 --> 00:17:34,318 I'M TRYING TO REASON WITH YOUR SENSE OF MORALITY, MAN. 446 00:17:34,319 --> 00:17:36,788 PEOPLE THINK, OH, THEY STEAL A LITTLE BIT OF STUFF 447 00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:38,623 FROM A BIG COMPANY, IT HAS NO EFFECT. 448 00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:40,958 IT DOES HAVE AN EFFECT. - REALLY? 449 00:17:40,959 --> 00:17:43,728 DID YOU KNOW THAT IN MAX BUY'S BUDGET, 450 00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:45,296 THERE IS A LINE ITEM THAT ACCOUNTS 451 00:17:45,297 --> 00:17:49,634 FOR 3% OF THEIR MERCHANDISE BEING LOST OR STOLEN? 452 00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:51,302 I AM PROVING THEM RIGHT. 453 00:17:51,303 --> 00:17:53,004 EVERYBODY LIKES TO BE RIGHT. 454 00:17:53,005 --> 00:17:57,743 SO IS IT TOO MUCH IF I ASK YOU TO LOOK THE OTHER WAY? 455 00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:13,959 IS IT TOO MUCH FOR ME TO ASK TO BE CUT IN? 456 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,865 YEAH, LIKE WE NEED 100 PAPER TURKEYS ALL AROUND THE HOUSE. 457 00:18:20,866 --> 00:18:23,367 SORRY MY MOM'S INSANE. 458 00:18:23,368 --> 00:18:25,937 DON'T YOU CRITICIZE HER. 459 00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:28,473 SHE'S SICK AND JUST WANTS TO MAKE IT A SPECIAL DAY. 460 00:18:28,474 --> 00:18:30,108 YOU'RE JUST PISSY BECAUSE YOUR PARENTS 461 00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,976 WON'T LET YOU INVITE A WHORE TO DINNER. 462 00:18:31,977 --> 00:18:34,112 WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? 463 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,780 REBECCA SAYS YOU SHOVED MYK 464 00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,949 AND ACCUSED HIM OF DYING TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU. 465 00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:41,285 MY PROBLEM IS GUYS LIKE YOU WHO WANT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE 466 00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:43,488 OF GIRLS WHO WANT TO BE TREATED RIGHT. 467 00:18:43,489 --> 00:18:44,956 YOU MAKE ME SICK. 468 00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:47,625 BELIEVE ME, YOU'RE WAY TOO ANNOYING 469 00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:50,128 TO JUST HANG OUT WITH IF HE WANTED TO GET IN YOUR PANTS. 470 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:52,063 SO IT'S EITHER HE REALLY LIKES YOU, ANDREA, 471 00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:54,800 OR HE'S A BIGGER FREAK THAN YOU ARE. 472 00:19:00,606 --> 00:19:02,073 HOW'S YOUR HOT DISH, HOT DISH? 473 00:19:02,074 --> 00:19:03,741 PAUL, MOVE BACK. THIS IS REALLY HOT. 474 00:19:03,742 --> 00:19:06,511 WOW. THAT LOOKS DELICIOUS. COULD I HAVE A PIECE? 475 00:19:06,512 --> 00:19:09,313 WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOU? 476 00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:11,082 CAN I HAVE SOME SEX, PLEASE? 477 00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:12,917 PLEASE CAN I HAVE SOME SEX? 478 00:19:12,918 --> 00:19:14,085 WHAT, NOW? 479 00:19:14,086 --> 00:19:15,920 - YEAH. - THERE ARE PEOPLE IN THE HOUSE. 480 00:19:15,921 --> 00:19:18,356 I'VE NEVER HAD SEX ON THANKSGIVING. 481 00:19:18,357 --> 00:19:19,924 IT'S A HOLIDAY OF IMBIBING. WHO SAYS-- 482 00:19:19,925 --> 00:19:22,160 WHO SAYS THAT-- THAT YOU HAVE TO IMBIBE FOOD? 483 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,095 OH, THERE'S THE RUB. THERE IT IS. 484 00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:26,430 THERE'S THE RUB. - OH, WHY DON'T WE-- 485 00:19:26,431 --> 00:19:28,499 WE CAN--WE CAN REVISIT THIS WHEN WE'RE ALONE. 486 00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:30,101 BUT YOU SAID YOUR TREATMENTS ARE WORKING, 487 00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:31,202 AND YOU'RE FEELING BETTER. 488 00:19:31,203 --> 00:19:32,703 SHH. 489 00:19:32,704 --> 00:19:34,805 WE DON'T WANT LEE TO KNOW, REMEMBER? 490 00:19:34,806 --> 00:19:38,276 LET'S JUST SNEAK UPSTAIRS. WHO CARES IF ANYBODY HEARS US? 491 00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:39,944 WHY HIDE IT? LET'S BE OPEN ABOUT SEX. 492 00:19:39,945 --> 00:19:41,312 LEE IS. 493 00:19:41,313 --> 00:19:43,147 GOD, THAT MAN MAKES ME SO FUCKING HORNY. 494 00:19:43,148 --> 00:19:44,649 I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS. 495 00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:46,250 STOP. 496 00:19:46,251 --> 00:19:48,252 COME ON, IT'S HOLIDAY TIME. GIVE ME A LITTLE, TINY PIECE. 497 00:19:48,253 --> 00:19:50,722 CAKE IS DONE. DINNER'S SERVED! 498 00:19:55,894 --> 00:19:59,130 THE THING IS, YOU'RE TOO HANDSOME TO BE SICK. 499 00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:00,464 I THINK THAT IS A VALID ARGUMENT. 500 00:20:00,465 --> 00:20:01,999 I JUST DON'T KNOW WHO TO MAKE IT TO. 501 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:08,639 BASQUE CAKE. 502 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:11,409 OKAY, EVERYBODY. 503 00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:13,744 HAPPY THANKSGIVING! 504 00:20:13,745 --> 00:20:15,313 YOU KNOW, I WAS-- 505 00:20:15,314 --> 00:20:17,782 I WAS GONNA APOLOGIZE BECAUSE THERE'S 506 00:20:17,783 --> 00:20:19,250 NO TURKEY ON THE TABLE. 507 00:20:19,251 --> 00:20:20,785 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? THE MORE I THOUGHT ABOUT IT, 508 00:20:20,786 --> 00:20:22,920 YOU KNOW, THE MORE I REALIZED I DON'T EVEN KNOW 509 00:20:22,921 --> 00:20:26,524 IF I REALLY LOVE TURKEY OR JUST THE IDEA OF TURKEY, 510 00:20:26,525 --> 00:20:29,493 YOU KNOW, HOW IT SORT OF COMPLETES THE PICTURE 511 00:20:29,494 --> 00:20:32,363 IN MY MIND OF THE PERFECT THANKSGIVING. 512 00:20:32,364 --> 00:20:33,564 SO I'M SORRY, SEAN... 513 00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:35,866 - NOT FORGIVEN. - FOR WHINING ABOUT THE TURKEY, 514 00:20:35,867 --> 00:20:37,335 BECAUSE, HONESTLY, 515 00:20:37,336 --> 00:20:39,604 I'M A STUFFING GIRL, AND WE GOT PLENTY OF THAT. 516 00:20:39,605 --> 00:20:41,405 WE HAVE TWO DIFFERENT KINDS, IN FACT, 517 00:20:41,406 --> 00:20:43,207 AND I'M GONNA EAT IT UNTIL I'M SICK. 518 00:20:43,208 --> 00:20:45,610 OOPS TOO LATE. 519 00:20:45,611 --> 00:20:48,045 SO DOES ANYONE ELSE HAVE 520 00:20:48,046 --> 00:20:49,948 ANYTHING THEY WANT TO BE HONEST ABOUT? 521 00:20:51,850 --> 00:20:54,151 I HONESTLY WANT TO GET LAID THIS THANKSGIVING. 522 00:20:54,152 --> 00:20:56,354 I AM TOUCHING MY WIFE UNDER THE TABLE RIGHT NOW. 523 00:20:56,355 --> 00:20:57,955 STOP IT. 524 00:20:57,956 --> 00:20:59,290 STOP IT! 525 00:20:59,291 --> 00:21:01,192 I AM HONESTLY DISGUSTED BY THAT, 526 00:21:01,193 --> 00:21:03,027 AND I WISH I WAS AT BRENT'S HOUSE. 527 00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:05,663 MAY I-- MAY I SAY SOMETHING? 528 00:21:05,664 --> 00:21:07,031 PLEASE. SAY ANYTHING. 529 00:21:07,032 --> 00:21:08,966 SAY IT IN RUSSIAN IF YOU HAVE TO. 530 00:21:08,967 --> 00:21:13,471 TODAY I AM HONESTLY VERY GRATEFUL TO BE HERE 531 00:21:13,472 --> 00:21:16,841 WITH NEW FRIENDS AND WITH SO MUCH FOOD 532 00:21:16,842 --> 00:21:19,210 THAT DOESN'T SEEM TO GO TOGETHER, BUT... 533 00:21:19,211 --> 00:21:21,979 I AM--WANTED TO HEAR MY GIRLFRIEND SAY 534 00:21:21,980 --> 00:21:25,149 THAT SHE LOVED ME TODAY, BUT THAT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, 535 00:21:25,150 --> 00:21:26,651 AND THAT'S OKAY. 536 00:21:26,652 --> 00:21:29,153 LOVING YOU IS STILL A GIFT TO ME, ANDREA, 537 00:21:29,154 --> 00:21:31,088 EVEN IF YOU DON'T LOVE ME BACK. 538 00:21:31,089 --> 00:21:33,659 AND I AM VERY GRATEFUL FOR THAT FEELING. 539 00:21:38,397 --> 00:21:40,498 THIS IS YOUR FAULT. 540 00:21:40,499 --> 00:21:41,899 YOU'RE SO BROKEN THAT I THOUGHT 541 00:21:41,900 --> 00:21:43,501 THAT EVERY GUY WAS JUST LIKE YOU. 542 00:21:43,502 --> 00:21:44,702 YOU'RE MESSED UP. 543 00:21:44,703 --> 00:21:48,005 - I TOLD YOU HE LIKED YOU. - HE LOVES ME. 544 00:21:48,006 --> 00:21:49,573 AND I LOVE HIM TOO. 545 00:21:49,574 --> 00:21:50,709 FOR REAL? 546 00:21:53,512 --> 00:21:54,679 AWW. 547 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:56,180 NOW YOU'RE DROOLING IN THE CHICKEN. 548 00:21:56,181 --> 00:21:57,548 - OKAY. - AWESOME. 549 00:21:57,549 --> 00:22:00,284 HELL, YEAH. HELL, YEAH. 550 00:22:00,285 --> 00:22:04,555 THAT IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND INSPIRING. 551 00:22:04,556 --> 00:22:07,191 DON'T CRY. HE SAID IT TO ME. 552 00:22:07,192 --> 00:22:08,759 BUT HE'S RIGHT. 553 00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:12,930 BEING IN LOVE MAKES YOU FEEL REALLY GOOD, 554 00:22:12,931 --> 00:22:16,568 AND IT MAKES YOU-- 555 00:22:20,706 --> 00:22:24,509 I WANT TO BE MARRIED TO THIS MAN. 556 00:22:26,111 --> 00:22:28,312 NOT--NOT BECAUSE I'M CARRYING YOUR BABY AND I SHOULD, 557 00:22:28,313 --> 00:22:30,615 BUT BECAUSE I... I LIKE YOU... 558 00:22:32,250 --> 00:22:33,918 BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. 559 00:22:33,919 --> 00:22:36,454 YOU'RE--YOU'RE SUCH A CRAZY NUT JOB, 560 00:22:36,455 --> 00:22:38,356 BUT YOU NEVER LIE. 561 00:22:38,357 --> 00:22:41,258 I TRUST EVERY WORD THAT COMES OUT OF YOUR MOUTH, 562 00:22:41,259 --> 00:22:43,494 AND--AND... 563 00:22:43,495 --> 00:22:47,164 I CANNOT WAIT TO HEAR YOU TELL OUR DAUGHTER 564 00:22:47,165 --> 00:22:50,301 ABOUT THE HAZARDS OF CELL PHONES 565 00:22:50,302 --> 00:22:52,803 AND ARTIFICIAL SWEETENERS 566 00:22:52,804 --> 00:22:54,438 AND HOW THE ASIAN CARP IS ENDANGERING 567 00:22:54,439 --> 00:22:57,775 THE FRAGILE ECOSYSTEMS OF OUR RIVERS 568 00:22:57,776 --> 00:23:00,778 AND--AND HOW SEEDS TAKE YOUR BREATH AWAY 569 00:23:00,779 --> 00:23:04,215 BECAUSE THEY TURN INTO THE MOST AMAZING PLANTS. 570 00:23:04,216 --> 00:23:06,784 SO... 571 00:23:06,785 --> 00:23:08,319 SEAN TOLKE... 572 00:23:12,491 --> 00:23:13,624 - I-- - REBECCA... 573 00:23:13,625 --> 00:23:15,493 REBECCA... 574 00:23:15,494 --> 00:23:17,161 WILL YOU MARRY ME? - YES! 575 00:23:17,162 --> 00:23:19,964 OH! OH! HA HA! 576 00:23:19,965 --> 00:23:21,399 HA HA! 577 00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:24,802 SHOULD WE GET UP NOW? 578 00:23:24,803 --> 00:23:26,404 CATHY... 579 00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:30,241 WOULD YOU GIVE HIM YOUR RING TO GIVE TO ME? 580 00:23:30,242 --> 00:23:33,077 ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 581 00:23:33,078 --> 00:23:34,979 YOU--YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT, 582 00:23:34,980 --> 00:23:37,148 AND YOU WERE GONNA LEAVE IT TO ME ANYWAY. 583 00:23:37,149 --> 00:23:40,017 - I'M NOT DEAD YET, REBECCA. - THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT. 584 00:23:40,018 --> 00:23:41,285 WHAT RING DON'T YOU LIKE? 585 00:23:41,286 --> 00:23:42,853 I-- 586 00:23:42,854 --> 00:23:45,156 I TOLD HER I DIDN'T LIKE MY ENGAGEMENT RING, 587 00:23:45,157 --> 00:23:47,124 BUT THAT'S NOT YOUR FAULT, BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T PICK IT OUT. 588 00:23:47,125 --> 00:23:48,526 YOU NEVER TOLD ME THAT. 589 00:23:48,527 --> 00:23:50,694 I WOULD'VE BOUGHT YOU A DIFFERENT RING. 590 00:23:50,695 --> 00:23:52,663 SEE? HE DOESN'T CARE. YOU COULD JUST GET A NEW ONE. 591 00:23:52,664 --> 00:23:54,999 WE NEED A RECYCLED ONE. IT'S PERFECT. 592 00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:56,333 CATHY TOLD ME THAT SHE DOESN'T LIKE 593 00:23:56,334 --> 00:23:57,902 YOUR MOM'S RING, AND WE CAN HAVE IT. 594 00:23:57,903 --> 00:23:59,937 NO, THAT'S NOT EXACTLY WHAT I SAID. 595 00:23:59,938 --> 00:24:01,472 WELL, TECHNICALLY, I AM THE OLDEST, 596 00:24:01,473 --> 00:24:04,642 AND MOM PROBABLY WOULD'VE WANTED ME TO HAVE IT, 597 00:24:04,643 --> 00:24:07,044 IF SHE HADN'T BEEN CONVINCED THAT NOBODY IN THEIR RIGHT MIND 598 00:24:07,045 --> 00:24:08,679 WOULD EVER MARRY ME. 599 00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:10,347 OH, LOOK AT ME NOW, MA. 600 00:24:10,348 --> 00:24:12,049 FINE. FINE. HERE... 601 00:24:12,050 --> 00:24:14,118 - OH! - GREAT. 602 00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:15,886 HERE, TAKE IT. 603 00:24:15,887 --> 00:24:17,788 ARE YOU OKAY, HONEY? 604 00:24:17,789 --> 00:24:18,989 OH. 605 00:24:18,990 --> 00:24:21,158 I JUST--I JUST THINK I HAD TOO MANY NUTS. 606 00:24:21,159 --> 00:24:23,060 OH, SIT DOWN. 607 00:24:23,061 --> 00:24:24,962 THAT'S FUNNY. 608 00:24:24,963 --> 00:24:27,865 YOU DON'T SEEM LIKE THE FAKE-NAIL-WEARING TYPE OF GAL. 609 00:24:27,866 --> 00:24:29,800 UM, YEAH, YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES. 610 00:24:29,801 --> 00:24:31,135 UH-HUH. 611 00:24:31,136 --> 00:24:33,137 SPECIAL--SPECIAL OCCASIONS, HOLIDAYS. 612 00:24:33,138 --> 00:24:35,473 OR WHEN YOU'RE, UH, COVERING UP THE SIDE EFFECTS 613 00:24:35,474 --> 00:24:37,141 OF THE TRIAL. WHAT? 614 00:24:37,142 --> 00:24:39,411 DID YOU LIE TO ME ABOUT THAT? 615 00:24:42,180 --> 00:24:45,082 I JUST-- I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO FEEL BAD. 616 00:24:45,083 --> 00:24:46,317 WHY WOULD I FEEL BAD? 617 00:24:46,318 --> 00:24:48,252 YOU DON'T THINK I'M ROOTING FOR YOU? 618 00:24:48,253 --> 00:24:50,554 NO--OF COURSE. AND I'M ROOTING FOR YOU, 619 00:24:50,555 --> 00:24:54,492 WHICH IS WHY I DIDN'T SAY-- - OH, OH, I GET IT. 620 00:24:54,493 --> 00:24:56,494 YOU'RE NOT WORRIED THAT THIS IS YOUR LAST THANKSGIVING. 621 00:24:56,495 --> 00:24:58,229 YOU THINK THAT IT'S MINE. - THAT'S NOT TRUE. 622 00:24:58,230 --> 00:24:59,563 OH, COME ON. COME ON. 623 00:24:59,564 --> 00:25:02,367 EVERYBODY ELSE IS BEING HONEST. WHY CAN'T YOU? 624 00:25:03,768 --> 00:25:05,269 FINE. 625 00:25:05,270 --> 00:25:07,104 I THINK THINGS ARE WORKING FOR ME 626 00:25:07,105 --> 00:25:08,572 AND NOT FOR YOU. 627 00:25:08,573 --> 00:25:10,007 AND I DIDN'T WANT TO RUB YOUR FACE IN IT, 628 00:25:10,008 --> 00:25:11,775 BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT YOU. 629 00:25:11,776 --> 00:25:14,111 AND IF THAT'S SO WRONG, THEN EXCUSE ME FOR LIVING. 630 00:25:14,112 --> 00:25:16,580 I HAVE STAYED ALIVE FOR 12 YEARS 631 00:25:16,581 --> 00:25:17,948 THROUGH EIGHT CLINICAL TRIALS. 632 00:25:17,949 --> 00:25:19,617 HELL, I'M IN A TEXTBOOK SOMEWHERE, 633 00:25:19,618 --> 00:25:21,652 SO I DON'T NEED YOUR FUCKING PITY... 634 00:25:21,653 --> 00:25:23,053 OR YOUR PITY CAKE. 635 00:25:23,054 --> 00:25:24,455 HEY! 636 00:25:24,456 --> 00:25:26,557 YOU KNOW, WINE DOESN'T COME OUT OF STUFF! 637 00:25:26,558 --> 00:25:27,892 I DIDN'T MEAN TO UPSET YOU. 638 00:25:27,893 --> 00:25:29,994 LET'S JUST GET THINGS BACK ON TRACK HERE, PEOPLE. 639 00:25:29,995 --> 00:25:32,429 THE REALLY NOT VERY FUNNY JOKE HERE IS ON YOU, CATHY, 640 00:25:32,430 --> 00:25:34,131 BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW IF YOU READ THE SMALL PRINT 641 00:25:34,132 --> 00:25:35,799 WHEN YOU SIGNED UP FOR THAT CLINICAL TRIAL, 642 00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:37,368 BUT THOSE DRUGS DON'T CURE YOU. 643 00:25:37,369 --> 00:25:39,303 HEY! YOU KNOCK THAT OFF IN FRONT OF MY KID! 644 00:25:39,304 --> 00:25:41,438 - I'M NOT A KID. - BORROWING A MIRACLE 645 00:25:41,439 --> 00:25:43,140 FROM A NONEXISTENT GOD, 646 00:25:43,141 --> 00:25:45,609 THE BEST THAT YOU CAN HOPE FOR IS A LITTLE MORE TIME. 647 00:25:45,610 --> 00:25:48,646 AND I REALLY, REALLY HOPE YOU GET IT, CATHY, 648 00:25:48,647 --> 00:25:52,616 BECAUSE YOU ARE DEFINITELY NOT READY TO GO. 649 00:25:52,617 --> 00:25:54,285 OKAY, I'M READY FOR YOU TO GO. 650 00:25:54,286 --> 00:25:55,819 - YEAH, ME TOO. - MY PLEASURE. 651 00:25:55,820 --> 00:25:57,821 SEAN, I REALLY DON'T FEEL SO GREAT. 652 00:25:57,822 --> 00:26:00,257 WELL, OF COURSE NOT, HONEY. THIS IS TOXIC ENVIRONMENT. 653 00:26:00,258 --> 00:26:01,292 WE'RE GOING HOME. 654 00:26:01,293 --> 00:26:02,927 HAPPY THANKSGIVING... 655 00:26:02,928 --> 00:26:04,962 NOT. - I'M SORRY, CATHY. 656 00:26:08,667 --> 00:26:10,267 HEY. 657 00:26:10,268 --> 00:26:13,270 LOOK, MARTY'S BACK. 658 00:26:22,113 --> 00:26:23,514 WHERE YOU GOING, HON? 659 00:26:26,785 --> 00:26:30,321 ♪ THE NUMBER WAS ENGAGED ♪ 660 00:26:40,765 --> 00:26:43,334 ♪ NO ONE EVER WAITS ♪ 661 00:26:43,335 --> 00:26:46,537 PLUCK IT, GUT IT. 662 00:26:46,538 --> 00:26:48,339 WE EAT AT MIDNIGHT. 663 00:26:59,117 --> 00:27:03,253 ♪ SLOW ♪ 664 00:27:08,059 --> 00:27:12,730 ♪ JUST BREATHE ♪ 665 00:27:14,966 --> 00:27:20,738 ♪ SLOW ♪ 48065

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