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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,167 --> 00:00:02,768 PREVIOUSLY ON THE BIG C... 2 00:00:02,769 --> 00:00:04,203 YOU'RE JUST LIKE YOUR DAD. - DOES THAT MEAN YOU'RE GONNA 3 00:00:04,204 --> 00:00:05,637 KICK ME OUT OF THE HOUSE, THEN, TOO? 4 00:00:05,638 --> 00:00:06,805 CALL ME WHEN YOU GIVE A SHIT AGAIN. 5 00:00:06,806 --> 00:00:08,073 TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, 6 00:00:08,074 --> 00:00:09,808 I HAVEN'T TOLD ANYONE ABOUT BEING SICK. 7 00:00:09,809 --> 00:00:12,412 WHAT KIND OF CANCER DO YOU HAVE? 8 00:00:23,256 --> 00:00:25,290 ♪ IT'S SO HARD ♪ 9 00:00:25,291 --> 00:00:30,229 ♪ TO TURN YOUR LIFE OVER ♪ 10 00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:37,069 ♪ STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE ♪ 11 00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:44,476 ♪ IS THIS SOME KIND OF A JOKE? ♪ 12 00:00:44,477 --> 00:00:49,314 ♪ WILL SOMEONE WAKE ME UP SOON ♪ 13 00:00:49,315 --> 00:00:52,918 ♪ AND TELL ME THIS WAS JUST A GAME ♪ 14 00:00:52,919 --> 00:00:54,686 ♪ WE PLAYED ♪ 15 00:00:54,687 --> 00:00:59,592 ♪ CALLED LIFE? ♪ 16 00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:06,331 I'M SORRY. I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 17 00:01:06,332 --> 00:01:08,033 THE MONEY THAT I'VE BEEN DEPOSITING EVERY WEEK 18 00:01:08,034 --> 00:01:11,270 FOR THE LAST 20 YEARS INTO MY 401, 19 00:01:11,271 --> 00:01:13,172 I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE IT. 20 00:01:13,173 --> 00:01:15,874 BY CASHING OUT YOUR ACCOUNT BEFORE RETIREMENT, 21 00:01:15,875 --> 00:01:18,143 YOU'LL BE FORFEITING NEARLY HALF YOUR MONEY. 22 00:01:18,144 --> 00:01:20,412 IT'S JUST NOT RECOMMENDED. 23 00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:22,848 - AND WHAT IS RETIREMENT AGE? - 65. 24 00:01:22,849 --> 00:01:25,951 YEAH, I'M GONNA NEED THAT MONEY. 25 00:01:25,952 --> 00:01:28,053 I WAS WATCHING SUZE ORMAN THIS MORNING. 26 00:01:28,054 --> 00:01:30,689 SHE WAS PREACHING THAT SAME OLD TIRED MANTRA, 27 00:01:30,690 --> 00:01:32,157 SAVE FOR A RAINY DAY. 28 00:01:32,158 --> 00:01:33,859 AND I REALIZED IT COULD RAIN ANY DAY, 29 00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:36,328 SO I DECIDED TO COME DOWN HERE, 30 00:01:36,329 --> 00:01:39,731 GET MY MONEY, AND JUST SPEND IT. 31 00:01:39,732 --> 00:01:42,167 JUST SPEND IT? ON WHAT? 32 00:01:42,168 --> 00:01:44,470 I DON'T KNOW. 33 00:01:44,471 --> 00:01:48,507 ALSO, A LITTLE NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. 34 00:01:48,508 --> 00:01:49,942 YOU'RE SURE THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT? 35 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:53,579 OH, NO, THERE'S VERY LITTLE I'M SURE OF ANYMORE. 36 00:01:53,580 --> 00:01:54,947 SO WHAT DO YOU SAY? 37 00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:56,449 SHALL WE DO THIS? 38 00:02:09,662 --> 00:02:12,264 OKAY, WE'LL START THE PAPERWORK 39 00:02:12,265 --> 00:02:14,733 AND HAVE THE MONEY IN YOUR ACCOUNT WITHIN THE HOUR. 40 00:02:14,734 --> 00:02:16,269 OH, GREAT, ALAN, THANK YOU. 41 00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:22,474 THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU. 42 00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:24,977 YES, I KNOW. 43 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:27,514 THAT'S WHY I'M DOING THIS. 44 00:02:35,622 --> 00:02:36,989 HEY, SWEETIE, YOU READY TO GO? 45 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:37,990 ONE SEC. 46 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,491 HOW WAS THE JOB INTERVIEW? 47 00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:41,927 I DECIDED NOT TO GO TODAY. 48 00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:43,428 ADAM, IT'S--IT'S CALLED A SUMMER JOB 49 00:02:43,429 --> 00:02:44,763 BECAUSE IT'S SUMMER. 50 00:02:44,764 --> 00:02:46,431 I DON'T WANT TO HAND OUT YOGURT SAMPLES IN THE MALL 51 00:02:46,432 --> 00:02:48,634 FOR MINIMUM WAGE. - OH, YOU'RE RIGHT. 52 00:02:48,635 --> 00:02:52,204 YOU REALLY SHOULD BE FOCUSING ON MIDDLE MANAGEMENT. 53 00:02:52,205 --> 00:02:53,872 WHERE'D YOU GET THAT? 54 00:02:53,873 --> 00:02:55,807 DAD GOT IT FOR ME. 55 00:02:55,808 --> 00:02:57,276 BALL! BALL! BALL! 56 00:02:57,277 --> 00:02:59,678 - DUCK, DUCK, DUCK! - GET IT OUT! 57 00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:01,980 WHAT IS YOUR DAD DOING? 58 00:03:01,981 --> 00:03:03,515 UH, PLAYING RUGBY. 59 00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:05,684 AND, NO, HE DOES NOT KNOW HE LOOKS RIDICULOUS. 60 00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:07,186 ALL RIGHT, YOU ARE NOT GONNA SIT AROUND 61 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,921 AND PLAY VIDEO GAMES ALL SUMMER. 62 00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:12,157 JUST GO WAIT IN THE CAR. 63 00:03:12,158 --> 00:03:14,593 PAUL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 64 00:03:14,594 --> 00:03:16,161 YOU'RE GONNA KILL YOURSELF. 65 00:03:16,162 --> 00:03:18,931 ...7 SECONDS--IT'S A NEW UNSUPPORTIVE RECORD! 66 00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:19,965 RUGBY? 67 00:03:19,966 --> 00:03:21,533 WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? 68 00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:23,502 BECAUSE IT'S FUN, AND I WANT TO. 69 00:03:23,503 --> 00:03:26,205 YOU'RE A 45-YEAR-OLD MAN WHO BRUISES LIKE A PEACH. 70 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,940 YOU WEAR A KNEE BRACE UNDER YOUR DOCKERS. 71 00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:31,109 CAN'T KICK ME OUT OF THE HOUSE AND TELL ME WHAT TO DO. 72 00:03:31,110 --> 00:03:33,545 SO FIGURE IT OUT, CATH. - ALL RIGHT, AND THIS? 73 00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:35,347 IF ADAM WANTS A VIDEO GAME, 74 00:03:35,348 --> 00:03:37,816 HE CAN GET A JOB AND BUY IT HIMSELF. 75 00:03:37,817 --> 00:03:39,518 OR HE COULD WAIT UNTIL HE'S 65 76 00:03:39,519 --> 00:03:41,019 AND DO WHATEVER HE WANTS WITH HIS MONEY. 77 00:03:41,020 --> 00:03:43,555 BUT YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BE THE POPULAR PARENT. 78 00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:47,226 LOOK, I GOT MY SON, WHO I MISS, A PRESENT, OKAY? 79 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,494 I'M SORRY IF I MISSED THE ACCEPTABLE-GIFT CHAPTER 80 00:03:49,495 --> 00:03:50,762 IN THE BANNED-PARENT HANDBOOK. 81 00:03:52,265 --> 00:03:54,299 OH, MY GOD. 82 00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:55,867 IS THAT RUGBY SLUT? 83 00:03:55,868 --> 00:03:58,470 I THINK SHE PREFERS "TINA" NOW. 84 00:03:58,471 --> 00:04:00,606 SHE DATED--AND I USE THAT TERM LOOSELY-- 85 00:04:00,607 --> 00:04:04,042 THE ENTIRE RUGBY TEAM, LIKE, 20 YEARS AGO. 86 00:04:04,043 --> 00:04:06,678 AND HERE SHE IS, STILL AT IT... 87 00:04:06,679 --> 00:04:08,814 CAMEL TOE AND ALL? 88 00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:09,948 SHE'S A FAN, CATH. 89 00:04:09,949 --> 00:04:11,550 IT'S NOT A CRIME TO LIKE SOMETHING. 90 00:04:11,551 --> 00:04:14,420 YOU SHOULD TRY IT SOMETIME. 91 00:04:16,222 --> 00:04:17,689 CATHY JAMISON. 92 00:04:17,690 --> 00:04:19,758 OH, I KNEW THAT WAS YOU. 93 00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:21,393 IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU. 94 00:04:21,394 --> 00:04:23,262 WOW, YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED A BIT. 95 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,631 I WISH I COULD JUST FIND 96 00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:30,068 THAT ONE LOOK THAT WORKED FOR ME AND JUST STICK WITH IT. 97 00:04:30,069 --> 00:04:32,638 I SEE YOU'RE STILL SUPPORTING THE RUGBY TEAM. 98 00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:34,439 OH, YEAH, WHAT CAN I SAY? 99 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,174 I LOVE IT! 100 00:04:36,175 --> 00:04:39,111 AND IT'S GREAT TO SEE PAULIE BACK AT IT. 101 00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,946 - PAULIE? - MM-HMM. 102 00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:43,982 OH, RIGHT. PAUL. 103 00:04:43,983 --> 00:04:47,152 PAULIE. 104 00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:51,657 MOM, COME ON, LET'S GO! COME ON! 105 00:04:51,658 --> 00:04:54,026 HEY, HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR CAR? 106 00:04:54,027 --> 00:04:55,527 'CAUSE I WAS LOOKING AT ONE OF THOSE, 107 00:04:55,528 --> 00:04:59,064 BUT THEN MY SISTER SAID IT'S A MOM CAR. 108 00:05:00,366 --> 00:05:04,003 BUT, OF COURSE, YOU'RE A MOM, SO... 109 00:05:05,171 --> 00:05:07,005 IT WAS REALLY GOOD TO SEE YOU, TINA. 110 00:05:07,006 --> 00:05:08,608 HEY, YOU TOO. 111 00:05:14,580 --> 00:05:16,114 YOU'RE CRAZY. 112 00:05:16,115 --> 00:05:17,549 AM I? 113 00:05:17,550 --> 00:05:20,252 I'M DYING, MARLENE. 114 00:05:20,253 --> 00:05:22,988 401s ARE FOR PEOPLE WHO GET TO SPEND THEIR RETIREMENT MONEY 115 00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:24,523 ON ALASKAN CRUISES 116 00:05:24,524 --> 00:05:26,491 AND TAKING RVs ACROSS THE COUNTRY. 117 00:05:26,492 --> 00:05:28,927 WELL, WHAT ABOUT ME? WHAT DO I GET? 118 00:05:28,928 --> 00:05:33,165 A HANGOVER FROM THIS FOO-FOO BUBBLY DRINK. 119 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:36,902 HEY, THIS IS A $450 BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE. 120 00:05:36,903 --> 00:05:38,103 IT'S THE BEST THERE IS. 121 00:05:38,104 --> 00:05:39,171 I ALWAYS WANTED TO KNOW 122 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,972 WHAT EXPENSIVE CHAMPAGNE TASTED LIKE. 123 00:05:40,973 --> 00:05:42,908 NOW I DO. 124 00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:44,710 I NEVER SAW THE POINT IN SPENDING MONEY ON STUFF 125 00:05:44,711 --> 00:05:45,811 THAT DIDN'T LAST. 126 00:05:45,812 --> 00:05:47,612 MY HUSBAND, EDDIE, HAD A HARD-ON 127 00:05:47,613 --> 00:05:48,947 FOR TROPICAL FISH. 128 00:05:48,948 --> 00:05:51,783 HAD A BIG OLD TANK AND SPENT DAMN GOOD MONEY 129 00:05:51,784 --> 00:05:53,819 FILLING IT WITH GOOFY-LOOKING FISH 130 00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:55,921 WITH FANCY NAMES. 131 00:05:55,922 --> 00:05:58,323 STUPID THINGS DIED ABOUT AS FAST AS HE COULD GET THEM IN THERE. 132 00:05:58,324 --> 00:06:00,959 WELL, GOOD FOR HIM, I SAY. 133 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:03,362 HE'D SIT IN FRONT OF THAT TANK AND JUST SMILE 134 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,097 LIKE SOME RETARDED KID. 135 00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:06,431 DON'T SAY "RETARDED." 136 00:06:06,432 --> 00:06:08,133 COME ON, MARLENE. 137 00:06:08,134 --> 00:06:10,836 ISN'T THERE ANYTHING YOU'VE EVER WANTED TO BUY FOR YOURSELF 138 00:06:10,837 --> 00:06:12,337 JUST BECAUSE? 139 00:06:12,338 --> 00:06:14,272 NEVER MUCH THOUGHT ABOUT IT, I GUESS. 140 00:06:14,273 --> 00:06:15,774 WELL, YOU SHOULD. 141 00:06:15,775 --> 00:06:17,075 AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S IRONIC? 142 00:06:17,076 --> 00:06:19,811 HERE I'VE BEEN THIS COUPON-CUTTING SAVER, 143 00:06:19,812 --> 00:06:21,947 AND YET I'VE RAISED A LAZY SON 144 00:06:21,948 --> 00:06:23,648 WHO'S NEVER EVEN HAD A SUMMER JOB. 145 00:06:23,649 --> 00:06:27,386 SOMETIMES KIDS JUST NEED A SWIFT KICK IN THE PANTS. 146 00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:30,021 WELL, I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME FOR KICKS IN THE PANTS. 147 00:06:30,022 --> 00:06:32,557 AND WHAT TIME WE DO HAVE, I'D RATHER NOT SPEND SCREAMING 148 00:06:32,558 --> 00:06:35,528 AND SLAMMING DOORS IN EACH OTHER'S FACES. 149 00:06:37,096 --> 00:06:40,198 WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? 150 00:06:40,199 --> 00:06:43,436 GAH! IT'S MY RV! 151 00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:53,912 SEAN! 152 00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:56,581 SEAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 153 00:06:56,582 --> 00:06:58,850 RECYCLING YOUR RECYCLING. 154 00:06:58,851 --> 00:07:01,386 UM, BY THE WAY, THIS KIND OF PLASTIC 155 00:07:01,387 --> 00:07:04,356 DOESN'T BREAK DOWN-- I'M SORRY. 156 00:07:04,357 --> 00:07:07,659 THINGS DON'T GET RECYCLED 'CAUSE YOU FEEL GUILTY 157 00:07:07,660 --> 00:07:09,494 THROWING THEM IN THE TRASH. 158 00:07:09,495 --> 00:07:11,897 OH, MY SWEET SATAN. 159 00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:14,132 IS THIS WEAPON YOURS? 160 00:07:14,133 --> 00:07:15,634 YEAH, I JUST BOUGHT IT. 161 00:07:15,635 --> 00:07:19,171 JUST WALKED ONTO A LOT AND BOUGHT IT. 162 00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:22,073 I WANTED TO DO SOMETHING... - HOW YOU DOING, GAS WHORE? 163 00:07:22,074 --> 00:07:24,409 IMPULSIVE. DO YOU UNDERSTAND-- 164 00:07:24,410 --> 00:07:26,745 YOU FEELING GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF, GAS WHORE? 165 00:07:26,746 --> 00:07:29,247 THIS IS THE FIRST MAJOR PURCHASE THAT I HAVE MADE 166 00:07:29,248 --> 00:07:31,817 WITHOUT CONSULTING CONSUMER REPORTS 167 00:07:31,818 --> 00:07:33,285 FOR THREE MONTHS BEFOREHAND 168 00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:35,353 AND THEN AGONIZING THAT I'D MADE A MISTAKE 169 00:07:35,354 --> 00:07:37,122 FOR THREE MONTHS AFTERWARDS. 170 00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:40,592 WAIT A MINUTE. 171 00:07:40,593 --> 00:07:44,062 WHY ARE YOU HERE, IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD? 172 00:07:44,063 --> 00:07:46,598 YOU'VE NEVER RECYCLED MY RECYCLABLES. 173 00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:48,433 DID YOU COME HERE TO SEE ME? 174 00:07:48,434 --> 00:07:50,902 ARE YOU IN NEED OF A SIS FIX? 175 00:07:50,903 --> 00:07:52,704 OH, SO I CAME TO VISIT MY SISTER, 176 00:07:52,705 --> 00:07:53,705 SO FUCKING SUE ME. 177 00:07:53,706 --> 00:07:54,773 OH, RELAX. 178 00:07:54,774 --> 00:07:55,974 YOU KNOW I ALWAYS LOVE TO SEE-- 179 00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:57,142 OW! OH, GOD. 180 00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:58,443 WHAT? WHAT'S WRONG? 181 00:07:58,444 --> 00:07:59,778 OH, MY TOOTH'S SCREWED UP. 182 00:07:59,779 --> 00:08:01,446 THAT'S NOT GOOD. 183 00:08:01,447 --> 00:08:03,148 GO TO MY DENTIST. I'LL PAY FOR IT. 184 00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:04,649 NO, THANK YOU. 185 00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:06,485 SERIOUSLY, SEAN, IT COULD BE INFECTED. 186 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:07,719 OH, IT'S DEFINITELY INFECTED. 187 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:10,155 YOU SHOULD SMELL WHAT I TASTE. 188 00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:11,389 SEXY. 189 00:08:11,390 --> 00:08:13,558 I'M SURE DAPHNE WANTS YOU TO SEE A DENTIST. 190 00:08:13,559 --> 00:08:15,293 SHE DOESN'T CARE. WE BROKE UP. 191 00:08:15,294 --> 00:08:17,662 SHE GOT ALL WEEPY ON ME AND WANTED TO BE EXCLUSIVE. 192 00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:19,197 BUT IT'S COOL. IT'S COOL. 193 00:08:19,198 --> 00:08:20,832 GOT A COUPLE OTHER FISH ON THE LINE, 194 00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:22,869 I'M JUST NOT READY TO THROW BACK. 195 00:08:24,370 --> 00:08:25,804 JUST GO TO THE DENTIST, SEAN. 196 00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:27,005 NO! 197 00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:28,907 I'M NOT GONNA SUDDENLY BUY INTO THE SYSTEM 198 00:08:28,908 --> 00:08:31,176 BECAUSE I'M EXPERIENCING SOME MINOR DISCOMFORT. 199 00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:33,345 WHEN THE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT WHO HAS TO CHOOSE 200 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,814 BETWEEN A TRIP TO THE DOCTOR AND FEEDING HER KIDS CAN GO, 201 00:08:35,815 --> 00:08:36,982 I'LL THINK ABOUT IT. 202 00:08:36,983 --> 00:08:38,383 STILL SCARED OF THE DENTIST, HUH? 203 00:08:38,384 --> 00:08:40,585 I'M NOT SCARED, CATHY. 204 00:08:40,586 --> 00:08:42,821 I'M RIGHTEOUS AND INDIGNANT. 205 00:08:42,822 --> 00:08:44,923 FINE, WHATEVER YOU NEED TO TELL YOURSELF. 206 00:08:46,158 --> 00:08:48,393 NOW, JUST STEP AWAY FROM THE CAR. 207 00:08:48,394 --> 00:08:51,530 YOU LET ME ENJOY MY FRIVOLOUS PURCHASE. 208 00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,498 I DIDN'T KNOW YOU KNEW HOW TO DRIVE A STICK. 209 00:08:53,499 --> 00:08:55,767 STICK? 210 00:08:55,768 --> 00:08:57,402 SHIT. 211 00:08:57,403 --> 00:08:59,204 HA HA. 212 00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:06,077 LEARN TO DRIVE! 213 00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,560 HMM, SO WHAT, WE'RE TAKING OUR APPOINTMENTS 214 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,361 AT CAP'N RED'S LOBSTER GRILL NOW, HUH? 215 00:09:23,362 --> 00:09:24,362 I'M SORRY. 216 00:09:24,363 --> 00:09:25,830 I HAVE A NEW CAR, 217 00:09:25,831 --> 00:09:27,966 AND THIS PARKING LOT IS A LOT EASIER TO PARK IN 218 00:09:27,967 --> 00:09:31,236 THAN YOUR STRUCTURE-- AND CHEAPER, I MIGHT ADD. 219 00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:33,338 HMM. 220 00:09:33,339 --> 00:09:35,073 LET'S GET YOU A DRINK. 221 00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:38,643 THE HOUSE CHARDONNAY-- IT'S A LITTLE STALE BUT FRUITY, 222 00:09:38,644 --> 00:09:40,946 IF YOU'RE INTO FRUITY. 223 00:09:40,947 --> 00:09:43,114 I CAN'T. I HAVE APPOINTMENTS THIS AFTERNOON. 224 00:09:43,115 --> 00:09:45,183 UH, HOW ARE YOU FEELING? 225 00:09:45,184 --> 00:09:47,552 ANY PAIN? NORMAL APPETITE? 226 00:09:47,553 --> 00:09:48,987 STARVING. 227 00:09:48,988 --> 00:09:51,323 I BROUGHT YOUR LATEST BLOOD RESULTS. 228 00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:52,557 EVERYTHING LOOKS STABLE, SO-- 229 00:09:52,558 --> 00:09:55,827 YOU ARE PUTTING ME OFF MY LUNCH. 230 00:09:55,828 --> 00:09:57,462 YOU GONNA WHIP OUT YOUR STETHOSCOPE 231 00:09:57,463 --> 00:09:59,297 AND LISTEN TO MY HEART TOO? 232 00:09:59,298 --> 00:10:01,433 I WAS GONNA, BUT WE CAN SKIP IT. 233 00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:04,903 CAN'T WE BE A LITTLE LESS DOCTOR/PATIENT 234 00:10:04,904 --> 00:10:06,738 AND A LITTLE MORE, 235 00:10:06,739 --> 00:10:08,740 "DID YOU SEE OUR SERVER'S BANGS?" 236 00:10:08,741 --> 00:10:11,276 I MEAN, COME ON, GIVE ME SOMETHING JUICY. 237 00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:13,144 DID YOU TELL ANYONE THEY WERE DYING TODAY? 238 00:10:13,145 --> 00:10:14,646 DID THEY CRY? 239 00:10:14,647 --> 00:10:16,615 THAT'S A LITTLE DARK, DON'T YOU THINK? 240 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,083 SORRY. 241 00:10:18,084 --> 00:10:20,418 OTHER PEOPLE'S BAD NEWS MAKES ME FEEL BETTER. 242 00:10:20,419 --> 00:10:24,756 IT'S CALLED SCHADENFRE-- 243 00:10:24,757 --> 00:10:27,659 SCHADENFREUDE. 244 00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:30,662 I WOULD NEVER KNOW THAT WORD IF IT DIDN'T TOTALLY FUCK ME 245 00:10:30,663 --> 00:10:33,298 ON THE CROSSWORDS LAST WEEK. 246 00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:35,567 OH, THAT'S SO SAD. 247 00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:39,237 THAT POOR LOBSTER CAN HARDLY TURN AROUND IN THAT TANK. 248 00:10:39,238 --> 00:10:40,805 GIVEN THAT HIS NEXT DESTINATION 249 00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:42,774 IS A BOILING POT OF WATER, I'D SAY HE'S GOT IT PRETTY GOOD. 250 00:10:42,775 --> 00:10:44,843 NO, BUT SERIOUSLY, ONE DAY, YOU'RE CRAWLING AROUND 251 00:10:44,844 --> 00:10:47,479 THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN, TAKING LIFE FOR GRANTED. 252 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,280 THE NEXT DAY YOU WALK INTO A TRAP, 253 00:10:49,281 --> 00:10:52,250 AND YOU FIND YOURSELF IN A TINY GLASS PRISON 254 00:10:52,251 --> 00:10:53,485 WAITING TO DIE. 255 00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:56,588 WHAT KIND OF CRAPPY LUCK IS THAT? 256 00:10:56,589 --> 00:10:58,056 EXCUSE ME! - YEAH? 257 00:10:58,057 --> 00:11:00,625 HOW MUCH IS THE BIG LOBSTER IN THE TANK. 258 00:11:00,626 --> 00:11:02,794 AND BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING, 259 00:11:02,795 --> 00:11:05,530 I WILL GIVE YOU $200 FOR HIM, 260 00:11:05,531 --> 00:11:07,298 BUT I NEED HIM LIVE. 261 00:11:07,299 --> 00:11:08,700 I'M SORRY, BUT I'M NOT ALLOWED 262 00:11:08,701 --> 00:11:10,068 TO SELL THE LOBSTERS LIVE. 263 00:11:10,069 --> 00:11:11,403 $300. 264 00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:13,438 I'M SORRY, BUT I CAN'T-- 265 00:11:13,439 --> 00:11:14,506 SHE'S JOKING. 266 00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:15,940 YOU--YOU'RE JOKING, RIGHT? 267 00:11:15,941 --> 00:11:17,509 NOT SO MUCH. 268 00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,144 IF I CAN'T HAVE MY LOBSTER, 269 00:11:19,145 --> 00:11:21,479 THEN I WILL DRINK TO FORGET HIM. 270 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:24,115 IF YOU KEEP THIS GLASS FULL, 271 00:11:24,116 --> 00:11:26,818 I WILL GIVE YOU $50. 272 00:11:26,819 --> 00:11:27,852 YES, MA'AM. 273 00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:31,123 THIS IS TO GET YOUR BANGS FIXED. 274 00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:35,794 JESUS, CATHY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH ALL THAT CASH? 275 00:11:35,795 --> 00:11:38,064 I DON'T KNOW. 276 00:11:39,331 --> 00:11:41,566 BUT THE DAY IS YOUNG. 277 00:11:51,811 --> 00:11:54,346 UGH, DAMN IT. 278 00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:06,991 EVERYTHING THE SALESMAN OFFERED, I BOUGHT. 279 00:12:06,992 --> 00:12:09,427 YOU KNOW, HEATED SEATS--SURE. 280 00:12:09,428 --> 00:12:12,263 NAVIGATION SYSTEM--YOU BET. 281 00:12:12,264 --> 00:12:13,732 TURBO COMPRESSOR-- 282 00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,600 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE HELL THAT IS, 283 00:12:15,601 --> 00:12:17,769 BUT WHY NOT? 284 00:12:17,770 --> 00:12:19,404 HMM. 285 00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:20,772 WHAT'S THE "HMM"? 286 00:12:20,773 --> 00:12:22,540 I WAS JUST THINKING. 287 00:12:22,541 --> 00:12:26,544 UM, IT'S COMMON FOR PEOPLE WITH TERMINAL ILLNESS 288 00:12:26,545 --> 00:12:28,113 TO DO IMPULSIVE THINGS. 289 00:12:28,114 --> 00:12:29,380 LIKE, I'VE HEARD OF PATIENTS 290 00:12:29,381 --> 00:12:31,216 GOING GORILLA TREKKING IN AFRICA 291 00:12:31,217 --> 00:12:33,418 OR FLYING ON A SUBORBITAL SPACE FLIGHT 292 00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:35,053 OR RUNNING WITH THE BULLS IN PAMPLONA. 293 00:12:35,054 --> 00:12:36,354 JESUS. 294 00:12:36,355 --> 00:12:38,223 DYING PEOPLE HAVE GREAT IDEAS. 295 00:12:38,224 --> 00:12:41,259 PLEASE DON'T GO RUNNING WITH THE BULLS. 296 00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:43,128 ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW, START WITH SOMETHING SMALLER, 297 00:12:43,129 --> 00:12:44,829 LIKE CHICKENS. 298 00:12:46,465 --> 00:12:49,067 YOU'RE FUNNY. 299 00:12:49,068 --> 00:12:52,170 SO WHY A CONVERTIBLE? 300 00:12:52,171 --> 00:12:53,438 AMANDA MONTGOMERY. 301 00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:54,572 WHO? 302 00:12:54,573 --> 00:12:55,673 THIS GIRL IN HIGH SCHOOL. 303 00:12:55,674 --> 00:12:58,409 SHE WAS ONE OF THOSE PERFECT GIRLS. 304 00:12:58,410 --> 00:13:01,813 SHE DROVE A CHERRY-RED CONVERTIBLE. 305 00:13:01,814 --> 00:13:03,548 EVERY MORNING WHEN SHE'D PULL INTO THE PARKING LOT, 306 00:13:03,549 --> 00:13:06,584 WEARING THESE IMPOSSIBLY HARD TO WALK IN CLOGS, 307 00:13:06,585 --> 00:13:10,155 EVERYTHING ABOUT HER SEEMED EFFORTLESS. 308 00:13:10,156 --> 00:13:11,623 SHE HAD LIFE BY THE BALLS, YOU KNOW? 309 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:13,525 SHE KNEW SHE WAS GONNA GET WHATEVER SHE WANTED. 310 00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:16,494 AND I BOUGHT THAT CAR 'CAUSE I WANTED TO KNOW 311 00:13:16,495 --> 00:13:20,465 WHAT IT WOULD FEEL LIKE TO BE HER, 312 00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:22,500 TO KNOW THAT ANYTHING WAS POSSIBLE. 313 00:13:22,501 --> 00:13:23,868 I WANT MORE PIE. 314 00:13:23,869 --> 00:13:26,204 WHERE'S BANGY? 315 00:13:26,205 --> 00:13:28,773 OH, SHIT, I'M LATE FOR AN APPOINTMENT. 316 00:13:28,774 --> 00:13:29,974 WELL, YOU'RE A DOCTOR. 317 00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:31,543 AREN'T YOU ALWAYS LATE FOR APPOINTMENTS? 318 00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:32,977 NO, I'M MEETING A REALTOR. 319 00:13:32,978 --> 00:13:34,512 YOU'RE GOING HOUSE HUNTING? 320 00:13:34,513 --> 00:13:36,247 YEAH. 321 00:13:36,248 --> 00:13:37,916 I LOVE HOUSE HUNTING. 322 00:13:37,917 --> 00:13:40,051 I MEAN, IT'S SO-- IT'S SO VOYEURISTIC. 323 00:13:40,052 --> 00:13:41,586 TAKE ME WITH YOU. - I DON'T-- 324 00:13:41,587 --> 00:13:43,021 LOOK, I WILL PAY YOU $800. 325 00:13:43,022 --> 00:13:44,789 ALL RIGHT, STOP DOING THAT. 326 00:13:44,790 --> 00:13:47,893 SO YOU'LL TAKE ME FOR FREE? 327 00:13:49,428 --> 00:13:50,562 - YES. - YEAH! 328 00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:52,230 BUT JUST MOSTLY SO I CAN KEEP AN EYE ON YOU. 329 00:13:52,231 --> 00:13:54,199 WELL, THEN HERE, YOU DRIVE MY NEW CAR. 330 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,067 JUST PULL IT AROUND WHILE I PEE. 331 00:13:56,068 --> 00:13:59,805 LAST CHANCE FOR A URINE SAMPLE. 332 00:14:06,145 --> 00:14:08,379 WHAT? ARE YOU-- CATHY! 333 00:14:08,380 --> 00:14:09,581 JUST GO! 334 00:14:09,582 --> 00:14:11,649 GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO! 335 00:14:13,319 --> 00:14:16,487 HEY, GET BACK HERE! 336 00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:22,794 DUDE, THIS IS SO COOL. 337 00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:24,128 I READ ONLINE ABOUT THIS LADY 338 00:14:24,129 --> 00:14:25,630 WHO HAD AN INFECTED TOOTH AND A HANDGUN, 339 00:14:25,631 --> 00:14:28,166 AND SHE SHOT IT OUT. - YOU WANT COOL? 340 00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:29,934 I ONCE SAW A GUY AMPING ON METH 341 00:14:29,935 --> 00:14:31,369 CUT OFF HIS TOES 342 00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:33,171 'CAUSE HE THOUGHT THEY WERE EATING HIS FEET. 343 00:14:33,172 --> 00:14:35,340 - OH, DUDE. - YEAH. 344 00:14:35,341 --> 00:14:36,641 OH, P.S., BUDDY, DON'T DO DRUGS. 345 00:14:36,642 --> 00:14:38,376 GO EASY WITH THOSE PLIERS, THOUGH. 346 00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:40,078 I DON'T WANT YOU FUCKING UP MY ENAMEL. 347 00:14:40,079 --> 00:14:41,579 - SERIOUSLY? - YEAH. 348 00:14:41,580 --> 00:14:44,782 THIS SMILE GETS ME A LOT OF TAIL. 349 00:14:44,783 --> 00:14:46,050 SINCE MY MOM TOOK AWAY MY VIDEO GAME, 350 00:14:46,051 --> 00:14:47,785 THIS IS THE MOST FUN I'VE HAD ALL DAY. 351 00:14:47,786 --> 00:14:50,255 ALL RIGHT, FOCUS. 352 00:14:50,256 --> 00:14:53,024 SORRY. 353 00:14:53,025 --> 00:14:54,025 AAH! 354 00:14:55,461 --> 00:14:57,428 MOTHERFUCKING COCKSUCKER! - I'M SORRY. 355 00:14:57,429 --> 00:14:59,364 - OHH! - CALM DOWN, PLEASE. 356 00:14:59,365 --> 00:15:00,365 PLEASE, IT'S OKAY. 357 00:15:00,366 --> 00:15:02,467 SON OF A CUNT! FUCKING ASS-LICKER! 358 00:15:02,468 --> 00:15:04,502 YOU JUST MADE IT FUCKING WORSE. 359 00:15:04,503 --> 00:15:07,505 OH, I BEGGED YOUR PARENTS NOT TO HAVE YOU CIRCUMCISED. 360 00:15:07,506 --> 00:15:10,208 NOW I WISH I'D DONE IT MYSELF. 361 00:15:10,209 --> 00:15:13,345 OH, GOD DAMN! 362 00:15:17,082 --> 00:15:20,718 JESUS, CAN SCARLETT O'HARA COME OUT AND PLAY? 363 00:15:20,719 --> 00:15:22,220 ALL RIGHT, IT'S A LITTLE BIG, 364 00:15:22,221 --> 00:15:24,822 BUT I'M NOT GONNA BE SINGLE FOREVER. 365 00:15:24,823 --> 00:15:27,058 AND BY MY PROJECTIONS, I'M HOPING TO DOUBLE THE SIZE 366 00:15:27,059 --> 00:15:28,526 OF MY PRACTICE IN THE NEXT TEN YEARS. 367 00:15:28,527 --> 00:15:33,197 AH, THE HOUSE THAT CANCER BUILT. 368 00:15:33,198 --> 00:15:34,966 YOUR OWN LITTLE MELA-HOMA. 369 00:15:34,967 --> 00:15:36,501 THAT'S TERRIBLE. 370 00:15:36,502 --> 00:15:38,202 THANK YOU. 371 00:15:38,203 --> 00:15:41,372 AH, DR. MAUER, IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU. 372 00:15:41,373 --> 00:15:43,041 OH, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL CAR. 373 00:15:43,042 --> 00:15:44,342 THAT'S MINE. 374 00:15:44,343 --> 00:15:46,577 IT'S--IT'S NEW. 375 00:15:46,578 --> 00:15:48,780 IT'S, UH... 376 00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:52,250 IT'S A CONVERTIBLE, OBVIOUSLY. 377 00:15:52,251 --> 00:15:54,352 - VIVIAN, THIS IS-- - AMANDA. 378 00:15:54,353 --> 00:15:55,720 AMANDA MONTGOMERY. 379 00:15:55,721 --> 00:15:57,822 NICE TO MEET YOU, AMANDA. THIS IS GREAT. 380 00:15:57,823 --> 00:15:59,257 IT'S ALWAYS BETTER WHEN A COUPLE 381 00:15:59,258 --> 00:16:00,591 CAN TOUR A HOUSE TOGETHER. 382 00:16:00,592 --> 00:16:02,126 - OH, NO, WE'RE NOT-- - CRAZY ABOUT THE LAWN. 383 00:16:02,127 --> 00:16:05,997 BUT WE HAVE A LANDSCAPER WHO CAN WORK MIRACLES. 384 00:16:05,998 --> 00:16:07,466 SHALL WE? 385 00:16:10,035 --> 00:16:13,438 I'M A YOUNG DOCTOR'S GIRLFRIEND. 386 00:16:13,439 --> 00:16:16,007 THE HOUSE DATES BACK TO THE TURN OF THE CENTURY. 387 00:16:16,008 --> 00:16:18,810 IT WAS COMPLETELY REMODELED IN 2009-- 388 00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:21,312 4,200 SQUARE FEET, 389 00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:23,214 FIVE BEDROOMS, 390 00:16:23,215 --> 00:16:25,616 AND NOT THAT IT'S ANY OF MY BUSINESS, 391 00:16:25,617 --> 00:16:28,586 BUT I HOPE YOU TWO ARE PLANNING ON CHILDREN. 392 00:16:28,587 --> 00:16:32,357 OH, I THINK WE COULD HAVE SOME KIDS. 393 00:16:32,358 --> 00:16:34,125 THERE'S A GAME ROOM IN THE BASEMENT, 394 00:16:34,126 --> 00:16:35,360 A WINE CELLAR. 395 00:16:35,361 --> 00:16:37,562 AND, AMANDA, THERE IS CLOSET SPACE GALORE. 396 00:16:37,563 --> 00:16:39,664 OH, LORD KNOWS I NEED IT. 397 00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:41,632 TODD IS ALWAYS SAYING TO ME 398 00:16:41,633 --> 00:16:43,968 MY CLOSETS NEED CLOSETS. 399 00:16:43,969 --> 00:16:45,903 SHE LOVES HER CLOTHES. 400 00:16:45,904 --> 00:16:47,739 WAIT TILL YOU SEE THE BACKYARD. 401 00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:49,741 THERE IS THE MOST GORGEOUS SALTWATER POOL-- 402 00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:51,409 SIMPLY STUNNING. 403 00:16:51,410 --> 00:16:53,144 THE DINING ROOM. 404 00:16:53,145 --> 00:16:54,545 HMM. 405 00:16:54,546 --> 00:16:57,148 WHAT SORT OF MEDICINE DO YOU PRACTICE, DR. MAUER? 406 00:16:57,149 --> 00:16:58,616 HE'S AN ONCOLOGIST. 407 00:16:58,617 --> 00:17:01,886 SUMMA CUM LAUDE, UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN. 408 00:17:01,887 --> 00:17:03,187 HMM. 409 00:17:03,188 --> 00:17:05,556 I SAW YOUR DIPLOMA IN YOUR OFFICE. 410 00:17:05,557 --> 00:17:07,992 I ALSO SAW THAT PICTURE OF YOU AND YOUR FRATERNITY BROTHERS. 411 00:17:07,993 --> 00:17:11,062 IT'S A LITTLE GAY MEN'S CHORUS. 412 00:17:11,063 --> 00:17:13,197 - DO YOU WORK, AMANDA? - I USED TO. 413 00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:15,933 BUT TODD'S INCOME ALLOWS ME THE OPPORTUNITY 414 00:17:15,934 --> 00:17:18,603 TO REALLY FOCUS ON MY CHARITY WORK. 415 00:17:18,604 --> 00:17:21,672 OH, WHAT KIND OF CHARITY DO YOU DO? 416 00:17:21,673 --> 00:17:23,307 I HAVE A FOUNDATION 417 00:17:23,308 --> 00:17:26,744 THAT RAISES MONEY TO BUILD SCHOOLS IN AFRICA 418 00:17:26,745 --> 00:17:28,312 FOR YOUNG WOMEN. 419 00:17:28,313 --> 00:17:30,648 - OH, HOW WONDERFUL. - IT IS. 420 00:17:30,649 --> 00:17:32,150 YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THE KITCHEN. 421 00:17:32,151 --> 00:17:34,619 DO YOU LIKE TO COOK, AMANDA? - OH, SHE LOVES IT. 422 00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:36,788 YOU KNOW, AMANDA ACTUALLY SPENT SOME TIME 423 00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:37,955 AT LE CORDON BLEU. 424 00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:43,895 - NICE. - MM-HMM. 425 00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:45,029 VIKING APPLIANCES, 426 00:17:45,030 --> 00:17:47,098 GRANITE COUNTERTOPS, 427 00:17:47,099 --> 00:17:49,067 HARDWOOD CHERRY CABINETS 428 00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,569 WITH MAHOGANY FINISH. 429 00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:54,072 IT'S BEAUTIFUL. 430 00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:56,274 IMAGINE THE MEALS 431 00:17:56,275 --> 00:17:59,343 THAT I COULD COOK FOR YOU IN HERE, TODD, HMM? 432 00:17:59,344 --> 00:18:03,114 BAKING, BOILING, STEAMING, POACHING-- 433 00:18:03,115 --> 00:18:06,685 EVERYTHING HOT I KNOW YOU LIKE. 434 00:18:08,287 --> 00:18:10,154 UM... 435 00:18:10,155 --> 00:18:11,789 THERE'S A WALK-IN PANTRY IN HERE 436 00:18:11,790 --> 00:18:14,258 I THINK YOU'D LIKE TO SEE. 437 00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:15,593 JUST, UH... 438 00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:18,262 REALLY? 439 00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:20,298 YEAH, THANK YOU. 440 00:18:20,299 --> 00:18:23,835 OH, LOOK AT THAT. 441 00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:26,404 ISN'T THAT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING YOU'VE EVER SEEN? 442 00:18:26,405 --> 00:18:28,673 THAT'S A POOL YOU CAN FLOAT IN. 443 00:18:28,674 --> 00:18:30,775 WHEN I WAS A KID, I WOULD LIE ON MY BACK 444 00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:34,412 FOR HOURS IN OUR POOL JUST FLOATING... 445 00:18:34,413 --> 00:18:37,748 JUST FEELING NOTHING AND EVERYTHING. 446 00:18:37,749 --> 00:18:40,084 IT'S LIKE YOU WERE WEIGHTLESS 447 00:18:40,085 --> 00:18:42,186 AND TIME STANDS STILL. 448 00:18:42,187 --> 00:18:44,388 THAT WOULD BE NICE, WOULDN'T IT, 449 00:18:44,389 --> 00:18:47,326 FOR TIME TO STAND STILL? 450 00:18:52,097 --> 00:18:54,299 COME ON. LET'S GO. 451 00:18:56,368 --> 00:18:58,569 WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? 452 00:18:58,570 --> 00:19:00,371 I'M LOOKING FOR THIS BOY'S PARENTS. 453 00:19:00,372 --> 00:19:02,140 THEY'RE OUT. WHAT DID HE DO? 454 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:03,441 HE GOT CAUGHT TRYING TO SHOPLIFT A VIDEO GAME SYSTEM 455 00:19:03,442 --> 00:19:04,475 FROM WAL-MART. 456 00:19:04,476 --> 00:19:05,543 IT'S HIS FIRST OFFENSE, 457 00:19:05,544 --> 00:19:06,577 SO THE STORE'S NOT PRESSING CHARGES. 458 00:19:06,578 --> 00:19:08,479 NEXT TIME HE WON'T BE SO LUCKY. 459 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:11,315 THANK YOU, OFFICER. I'LL DEAL WITH HIM. 460 00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:13,184 AND YOU ARE? 461 00:19:13,185 --> 00:19:14,252 I'M HIS GRANDMA. 462 00:19:14,253 --> 00:19:15,319 WAIT, WHAT, NO, SHE-- 463 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:16,921 HEY, I'M AS EMBARRASSED TO SAY IT 464 00:19:16,922 --> 00:19:18,689 AS YOU ARE TO HEAR IT. 465 00:19:18,690 --> 00:19:22,727 WELL, IT SEEMS LIKE YOU GOT THIS. 466 00:19:22,728 --> 00:19:25,329 WHY'D YOU SAY YOU WERE MY GRANDMA? 467 00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:26,697 I'M SAVING YOUR MOM FROM HAVING TO PUT UP 468 00:19:26,698 --> 00:19:28,533 WITH HER PAIN-IN-THE-ASS SON AGAIN. 469 00:19:28,534 --> 00:19:30,067 WAIT, WAIT, SO YOU'RE NOT GONNA TELL HER? 470 00:19:30,068 --> 00:19:31,169 - THAT DEPENDS. - ON WHAT? 471 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,436 ON HOW WELL YOU CLEAN MY YARD. 472 00:19:32,437 --> 00:19:34,438 WAIT, WHAT? ARE YOU BLACKMAILING ME? 473 00:19:34,439 --> 00:19:35,540 CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT, 474 00:19:35,541 --> 00:19:37,842 BUT I EXPECT YOU AT MY HOUSE EVERY DAY, 475 00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:39,744 MOWING, TRIMMING, PAINTING. 476 00:19:39,745 --> 00:19:41,946 I'LL PAY YOU A FAIR WAGE, YOU'LL STAY OUT OF TROUBLE, 477 00:19:41,947 --> 00:19:44,882 AND MAYBE YOU CAN BUY THAT VIDEO GAME 478 00:19:44,883 --> 00:19:47,785 YOU THOUGHT WAS IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO STEAL. 479 00:19:47,786 --> 00:19:49,353 WHAT IF I SAY NO? 480 00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:51,522 DON'T MAKE ME CALL THE COPS BACK HERE 481 00:19:51,523 --> 00:19:54,258 AND TELL 'EM YOU PUSHED AN OLD LADY. 482 00:19:54,259 --> 00:19:57,262 I'M ONTO YOUR CRAP. 483 00:20:22,921 --> 00:20:26,857 AND THIS, OF COURSE, IS THE FABULOUS MASTER BEDROOM... 484 00:20:26,858 --> 00:20:30,762 WITH ANOTHER AMAZING VIEW OF THE-- 485 00:20:33,765 --> 00:20:37,102 YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS IN THE POOL WITH HER CLOTHES ON. 486 00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:45,376 YEAH, AMANDA'S GOING THROUGH 487 00:20:45,377 --> 00:20:48,780 A BIT OF A ROUGH TIME RIGHT NOW. 488 00:20:56,455 --> 00:20:58,990 WAY TO GO, PAULIE! 489 00:20:58,991 --> 00:21:00,324 OOH! OOH! 490 00:21:00,325 --> 00:21:02,360 YEAH, NICE ONE, PAULIE! 491 00:21:02,361 --> 00:21:04,462 YOU'RE A FUCKING DOUCHE BAG! 492 00:21:04,463 --> 00:21:06,264 WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE? 493 00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:08,466 WHAT, ARE WE PLAYING ON AN ANCIENT INDIAN BURIAL GROUND? 494 00:21:08,467 --> 00:21:11,569 IS MY JERSEY MADE BY TODDLERS IN BOTSWANA? 495 00:21:11,570 --> 00:21:13,871 ARE THERE ENDANGERED TREE FROGS 496 00:21:13,872 --> 00:21:15,673 IN THE ASTROTURF, YOU DICK? 497 00:21:15,674 --> 00:21:18,709 LOOK, I'VE BEEN REPRESSING A LOT OF ANGER TOWARDS YOU, 498 00:21:18,710 --> 00:21:20,111 AND IT'S GIVING ME HEMORRHOIDS, 499 00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:21,312 SO I KIND OF NEED TO PURGE. 500 00:21:21,313 --> 00:21:23,447 NOW, IF AT ANY POINT 501 00:21:23,448 --> 00:21:25,216 YOU WANT TO HIT ME, I GET IT. 502 00:21:25,217 --> 00:21:26,417 WE BOTH NEED CATHARSIS. 503 00:21:26,418 --> 00:21:28,786 GO BACK TO YOUR DUMPSTER, SEANIE. 504 00:21:28,787 --> 00:21:30,254 HEY, FUCK YOU, YOU 9:00-TO-5:00, 505 00:21:30,255 --> 00:21:32,757 CORPORATE PIECE OF SHIT. 506 00:21:32,758 --> 00:21:34,959 YOU FUCKING WASTE OF OXYGEN! 507 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,427 YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW, 508 00:21:36,428 --> 00:21:37,895 NOW YOU'RE GETTING A LITTLE OUT OF LINE. 509 00:21:37,896 --> 00:21:39,430 OOH, YOU WANT ME TO SHUT UP? 510 00:21:39,431 --> 00:21:41,699 THEN HIT ME, PAULIE. OH, BUT YOU WON'T, WILL YOU? 511 00:21:41,700 --> 00:21:44,068 BECAUSE YOU'RE A FUCKING COWARD. 512 00:21:44,069 --> 00:21:45,903 YOU'RE MORE THAN A COWARD, REALLY. 513 00:21:45,904 --> 00:21:47,571 YOU'RE A COMPLETE FAILURE. 514 00:21:47,572 --> 00:21:49,674 YOU FUCKED UP YOUR MARRIAGE, YOUR LIFE. 515 00:21:49,675 --> 00:21:51,575 YOU TURNED MY VIBRANT, QUIRKY SISTER 516 00:21:51,576 --> 00:21:54,512 INTO A MISERABLY DULL, LIFELESS ZOMBIE. 517 00:21:54,513 --> 00:21:58,215 YOU'RE A HALF-ASS HUSBAND, A POOR EXCUSE FOR A FATHER, 518 00:21:58,216 --> 00:21:59,617 A SHITTY--OH! 519 00:22:01,620 --> 00:22:02,620 OH, JEEZ. 520 00:22:02,621 --> 00:22:04,422 IT'S OUT. 521 00:22:04,423 --> 00:22:06,757 IT'S OUT! HA HA! 522 00:22:06,758 --> 00:22:08,225 IT'S OUT! 523 00:22:08,226 --> 00:22:09,694 OH, JESUS, SWEET RELIEF! 524 00:22:09,695 --> 00:22:11,829 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? - I'VE HAD THIS INFECTED TOOTH. 525 00:22:11,830 --> 00:22:13,864 I'VE BEEN TRYING LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER TO GET IT OUT, 526 00:22:13,865 --> 00:22:15,533 BUT THE UNIVERSE WAS FIGHTING ME ON IT. 527 00:22:15,534 --> 00:22:17,835 BUT, YOU, YOU JUST GOT IT FOR ME, BUDDY. 528 00:22:17,836 --> 00:22:19,904 THANKS! - YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE. 529 00:22:19,905 --> 00:22:21,205 NO HARD FEELINGS. 530 00:22:21,206 --> 00:22:23,607 YOU SHOULD KNOW I DIDN'T MEAN, UH, 531 00:22:23,608 --> 00:22:25,776 68% OF THE STUFF I JUST SAID. 532 00:22:25,777 --> 00:22:28,746 YOU KNOW, I THINK I SWALLOWED IT. 533 00:22:28,747 --> 00:22:30,414 WHEN IT PASSES, I AM MAKING YOU 534 00:22:30,415 --> 00:22:32,983 AN AWESOME TOOTH NECKLACE. 535 00:22:32,984 --> 00:22:35,419 PAULIE! PAULIE! 536 00:22:35,420 --> 00:22:37,488 both: PAULIE! PAULIE! 537 00:22:37,489 --> 00:22:39,990 PAULIE! PAULIE! 538 00:22:39,991 --> 00:22:41,927 FREAK! 539 00:22:47,733 --> 00:22:50,768 I'M SORRY IF I SCREWED ANYTHING UP FOR YOU BACK THERE. 540 00:22:50,769 --> 00:22:52,303 I DON'T THINK VIVIAN WAS VERY PLEASED 541 00:22:52,304 --> 00:22:53,804 THAT I WAS FLOATING IN HER POOL. 542 00:22:53,805 --> 00:22:57,074 OH, I'M SURE SHE'S SEEN STRANGER THINGS. 543 00:22:57,075 --> 00:22:58,776 YOU THINK? 544 00:22:58,777 --> 00:23:01,045 NO. 545 00:23:01,046 --> 00:23:03,280 YOU'RE LUCKY, YOU KNOW? 546 00:23:03,281 --> 00:23:07,485 I WISH I WAS LOOKING FOR HOUSES AND STARTING A NEW LIFE. 547 00:23:07,486 --> 00:23:10,254 I'M SORRY. THAT WAS MAUDLIN. 548 00:23:10,255 --> 00:23:13,558 I ALWAYS GET MAUDLIN WHEN I'M COMING OFF A DRUNK. 549 00:23:16,995 --> 00:23:19,697 - I'M SORRY, CATHY. - FOR WHAT? 550 00:23:19,698 --> 00:23:24,001 I JUST... 551 00:23:24,002 --> 00:23:25,169 I FEEL BAD. 552 00:23:25,170 --> 00:23:26,370 FOR ME? 553 00:23:26,371 --> 00:23:28,339 DON'T FEEL BAD FOR ME. 554 00:23:28,340 --> 00:23:30,141 I HAD A GREAT DAY. 555 00:23:30,142 --> 00:23:32,677 I DON'T KNOW. I JUST... 556 00:23:34,646 --> 00:23:37,715 I SHOULDN'T HAVE MORE OF A FUTURE THAN YOU. 557 00:23:37,716 --> 00:23:39,016 BUT I DO HAVE A FUTURE. 558 00:23:39,017 --> 00:23:40,684 HIS NAME'S ADAM. 559 00:23:40,685 --> 00:23:43,754 UNFORTUNATELY, HE'S AN ASSHOLE RIGHT NOW. 560 00:23:43,755 --> 00:23:45,990 I'M BANKING ON IT BEING A PHASE. 561 00:23:45,991 --> 00:23:47,491 I THINK IT'S A PHASE. 562 00:23:47,492 --> 00:23:51,228 PEOPLE CHANGE WHEN BIG THINGS HAPPEN IN THEIR LIVES. 563 00:23:51,229 --> 00:23:54,565 MAYBE HE'LL DECIDE TO BECOME A DOCTOR. 564 00:23:54,566 --> 00:23:57,034 THAT'D BE GOOD. 565 00:23:57,035 --> 00:23:59,036 I HOPE I GET TO MEET HIM SOMEDAY. 566 00:23:59,037 --> 00:24:02,072 I'LL INVITE YOU BOTH TO THE FUNERAL. 567 00:24:05,811 --> 00:24:07,044 HERE. 568 00:24:07,045 --> 00:24:09,280 THANK YOU. 569 00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:11,615 YOU SHOULD BUY THAT HOUSE, YOU KNOW? 570 00:24:11,616 --> 00:24:13,117 - YOU THINK? - YEAH. 571 00:24:13,118 --> 00:24:14,518 FILL IT WITH KIDS AND STUFF. 572 00:24:14,519 --> 00:24:18,255 WELL, WE'LL SEE WHAT JULIE THINKS ABOUT THAT. 573 00:24:18,256 --> 00:24:21,525 WHO'S JULIE? 574 00:24:21,526 --> 00:24:22,893 MY GIRLFRIEND. 575 00:24:22,894 --> 00:24:24,995 HUH. 576 00:24:24,996 --> 00:24:26,730 HOW COME YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU HAD A GIRLFRIEND 577 00:24:26,731 --> 00:24:28,098 WHEN I WAS YOUR GIRLFRIEND? 578 00:24:28,099 --> 00:24:30,235 UH... 579 00:24:56,228 --> 00:24:59,196 OH, CAREFUL, YOU DAMN MONKEY. 580 00:24:59,197 --> 00:25:02,901 THAT'S FRAGILE. 581 00:25:05,170 --> 00:25:07,805 IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU BACK ON THE FIELD, PAULIE. 582 00:25:07,806 --> 00:25:10,474 OH, THANKS. IT'S GREAT TO BE BACK. 583 00:25:10,475 --> 00:25:13,410 IT'S NICE TO KNOW THAT I CAN STILL CLOT. 584 00:25:13,411 --> 00:25:14,879 WAY TO GO, PLATELETS. 585 00:25:17,148 --> 00:25:20,885 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GOT INTO IT WITH THAT CRAZY GUY. 586 00:25:20,886 --> 00:25:23,754 THERE'S ALWAYS SOMETHING SO PRIMAL AND SEXY 587 00:25:23,755 --> 00:25:25,222 ABOUT TWO MEN FIGHTING. 588 00:25:25,223 --> 00:25:26,490 I DON'T KNOW. 589 00:25:26,491 --> 00:25:28,425 WELL, VIOLENCE IS NEVER THE ANSWER TO ANYTHING, 590 00:25:28,426 --> 00:25:29,426 UNLESS YOU WIN. 591 00:25:32,264 --> 00:25:37,202 SO YOU GONNA JOIN US FOR BEERS AT O'REILLY'S? 592 00:25:38,537 --> 00:25:40,871 SURE. WHY NOT? 593 00:25:40,872 --> 00:25:43,474 GREAT. I'LL SAVE YOU A SEAT. 594 00:25:43,475 --> 00:25:45,843 AND I WILL SIT THERE. 595 00:25:45,844 --> 00:25:47,811 OKAY. 596 00:25:59,858 --> 00:26:01,091 ♪ BY THE WAY ♪ 597 00:26:01,092 --> 00:26:05,162 ♪ IF THERE'S ONE THING YOU CAN DO ♪ 598 00:26:05,163 --> 00:26:08,299 ♪ HEAR ME NOW ♪ 599 00:26:08,300 --> 00:26:10,501 ♪ HEAR ME NOW, NOW ♪ 600 00:26:10,502 --> 00:26:15,940 ♪ I HAVE LEARNED AS THE SUN FALLS DOWN ON YOU ♪ 601 00:26:15,941 --> 00:26:18,576 ♪ HEAR ME NOW ♪ 602 00:26:18,577 --> 00:26:21,445 ♪ HEAR ME NOW, NOW ♪ 603 00:26:21,446 --> 00:26:25,282 ♪ 'CAUSE WE'RE BREAKING IT DOWN ♪ 604 00:26:25,283 --> 00:26:28,786 ♪ WE GOT TIME TO KILL ♪ 605 00:26:28,787 --> 00:26:31,522 ♪ OOH, OOH ♪ 606 00:26:31,523 --> 00:26:34,892 ♪ SO DON'T TALK ME THROUGH IT ♪ 607 00:26:34,893 --> 00:26:37,795 ♪ I'LL UNDERSTAND IT ♪ 608 00:26:37,796 --> 00:26:40,164 ♪ WHEN EVERYTHING IS DONE ♪ 609 00:26:40,165 --> 00:26:42,967 ♪ DON'T HOLD ME BACK ♪ 610 00:26:42,968 --> 00:26:46,136 ♪ I'M ALWAYS WAITING ♪ 611 00:26:46,137 --> 00:26:49,340 ♪ BUT YOU DON'T KNOW IT ♪ 612 00:26:49,341 --> 00:26:50,975 ♪ WHEN EVERYTHING IS DONE ♪ 613 00:26:50,976 --> 00:26:53,877 ♪ DON'T HOLD ME BACK ♪ 614 00:26:56,181 --> 00:26:57,581 ♪ BY THE WAY ♪ 615 00:26:57,582 --> 00:27:00,618 ♪ IF THERE'S ONE THING LEFT TO TRY ♪ 616 00:27:01,586 --> 00:27:03,988 ♪ HEAR ME NOW ♪ 617 00:27:03,989 --> 00:27:07,224 ♪ HEAR ME NOW, NOW ♪ 618 00:27:07,225 --> 00:27:08,459 ♪ YOU HAVE LEARNED ♪ 619 00:27:08,460 --> 00:27:12,296 ♪ I CAN SEE THAT IN YOUR EYES ♪ 620 00:27:12,297 --> 00:27:14,965 ♪ HEAR ME NOW ♪ 621 00:27:14,966 --> 00:27:17,968 ♪ HEAR ME NOW, NOW ♪ 622 00:27:17,969 --> 00:27:21,605 ♪ 'CAUSE WE'RE BREAKING IT DOWN ♪ 623 00:27:21,606 --> 00:27:24,975 ♪ BUT WE GOT TIME TO KILL ♪ 624 00:27:24,976 --> 00:27:27,878 ♪ OOH, OOH ♪ 625 00:27:27,879 --> 00:27:31,348 ♪ SO DON'T TALK ME THROUGH IT ♪ 626 00:27:31,349 --> 00:27:34,284 ♪ I'LL UNDERSTAND IT ♪ 627 00:27:34,285 --> 00:27:36,353 ♪ WHEN EVERYTHING IS DONE ♪ 628 00:27:36,354 --> 00:27:39,189 ♪ DON HOLD ME BACK ♪ 629 00:27:39,190 --> 00:27:42,393 ♪ I'M ALWAYS WAITING ♪ 630 00:27:42,394 --> 00:27:45,062 ♪ BUT YOU DON'T KNOW IT ♪ 631 00:27:45,063 --> 00:27:47,231 ♪ WHEN EVERYTHING IS DONE ♪ 632 00:27:47,232 --> 00:27:49,667 ♪ DON'T HOLD ME BACK ♪ 633 00:27:49,668 --> 00:27:52,670 ♪ OOH, OOH ♪ 634 00:27:52,671 --> 00:27:54,905 ♪ DON'T HOLD ME BACK ♪ 635 00:27:54,906 --> 00:27:58,075 ♪ OOH, OOH ♪ 636 00:27:58,076 --> 00:28:00,177 ♪ DON'T HOLD ME BACK ♪ 637 00:28:00,178 --> 00:28:03,347 ♪ OOH, OOH ♪ 638 00:28:03,348 --> 00:28:06,718 ♪ DON'T HOLD ME BACK ♪ 44445

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