Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,770 --> 00:00:09,410
Oh, those are
beautiful pastries.
2
00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:11,170
Yeah, right? I got them
from this amazing bakery
3
00:00:11,310 --> 00:00:12,680
on Abbot Kinney.
4
00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:15,680
I thought this was a cream puff,
but it's got meat in it.
5
00:00:15,780 --> 00:00:19,180
You know how you get your mouth
all ready for something sweet,
6
00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,550
and suddenly there's ham?
7
00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:26,090
I don't like mouth surprises.
8
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:28,460
(wood creaking)
9
00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:31,230
Malcolm, is that your floor
making that sound?
10
00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:33,360
Uh, yeah,
mine's got a few quirks.
11
00:00:33,460 --> 00:00:35,400
(wood creaking)
12
00:00:37,870 --> 00:00:40,640
Son, your floor
shouldn't be mushy.
13
00:00:40,740 --> 00:00:43,810
It's fine.
It's just a old house, Pop.
14
00:00:43,910 --> 00:00:44,910
Whoa, Marty, no!
15
00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:47,040
What? What?
16
00:00:47,140 --> 00:00:49,180
You cannot go near
the fireplace.
17
00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:50,210
What's wrong?
18
00:00:50,310 --> 00:00:51,750
There's a gap in the floor
19
00:00:51,850 --> 00:00:53,080
right where you're standing.
20
00:00:53,180 --> 00:00:55,480
-A gap?
-It's a small gap.
21
00:00:55,550 --> 00:00:57,620
-But do not move.
-What...
22
00:00:57,720 --> 00:00:58,990
Look, I had to put a rug over it
23
00:00:59,050 --> 00:01:00,590
'cause I didn't want Mama
to see it.
24
00:01:00,690 --> 00:01:03,690
So you rather your mother
watch her son fall to his death?
25
00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:04,890
CALVIN:
Okay, babe,
26
00:01:04,990 --> 00:01:07,160
it's one foot down
and just sand.
27
00:01:07,230 --> 00:01:08,530
Yeah.
(laughs)
28
00:01:08,630 --> 00:01:10,600
Well, it's not just sand.
(clears throat)
29
00:01:10,700 --> 00:01:12,300
it's a family of crabs
under there.
30
00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:13,570
Crabs?!
31
00:01:13,700 --> 00:01:15,670
-Daddy, please...
-You-you gonna be okay, son.
32
00:01:15,770 --> 00:01:17,110
You gonna be all right.
33
00:01:17,210 --> 00:01:18,670
-You can do this.
-Mar-Marty, look at me, okay?
34
00:01:18,770 --> 00:01:20,340
Step towards the plant.
35
00:01:20,410 --> 00:01:21,780
-Come on.
-(wood creaks)
36
00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:23,910
Step to the edge of the rug.
37
00:01:24,710 --> 00:01:26,080
Okay, now jump.
38
00:01:26,180 --> 00:01:28,050
There you go. See? Yay.
39
00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:31,090
Get off me. Get off me.
40
00:01:31,220 --> 00:01:33,460
See? Look, we all good.
41
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:35,360
We are not all good.
42
00:01:35,460 --> 00:01:37,060
When people come to visit,
they shouldn't have to
43
00:01:37,130 --> 00:01:40,700
be a American Ninja Warrior
to go to the bathroom.
44
00:01:41,860 --> 00:01:43,570
You know what?
You need new floors.
45
00:01:43,670 --> 00:01:46,140
Oh, no, no, I can't afford
new floors right now.
46
00:01:46,270 --> 00:01:47,870
Well, can you afford a lawsuit?
47
00:01:47,970 --> 00:01:50,170
Oh, please,
Marty is not gonna sue me.
48
00:01:50,270 --> 00:01:51,840
-I would sue you so fast!
-TINA: See?
49
00:01:51,940 --> 00:01:54,340
Uh, uh, no-nobody's
suing nobody.
50
00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:56,550
Listen.
51
00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:57,880
We'll get you new floors.
52
00:01:57,950 --> 00:01:59,620
It'll-it'll be
our housewarming gift.
53
00:01:59,750 --> 00:02:01,820
-Yeah.
-Whoa, no, no, look, look.
Thanks, y'all.
54
00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:03,590
But-but new floors?
That's a fortune.
55
00:02:03,690 --> 00:02:05,050
Eh, not necessarily.
56
00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:07,060
You know what? I'm gonna
call my cousin Crutch.
57
00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:09,560
Oh, Crutch?
That's the one who always has
58
00:02:09,660 --> 00:02:11,160
his shirt off
in the Christmas cards?
59
00:02:12,260 --> 00:02:14,830
Yeah, I don't even open
the envelope anymore.
60
00:02:16,130 --> 00:02:17,800
We haven't seen Crutch in years.
61
00:02:17,930 --> 00:02:19,600
Look, the point is
is that he owns
62
00:02:19,670 --> 00:02:21,470
a flooring company in New York.
63
00:02:21,570 --> 00:02:25,270
I'm sure he can get us
the materials wholesale.
64
00:02:25,370 --> 00:02:26,510
-Oh.
-Okay.
65
00:02:26,640 --> 00:02:27,940
I'll just call him right here.
66
00:02:28,010 --> 00:02:29,040
(FaceTime rings)
67
00:02:29,140 --> 00:02:31,010
CRUTCH:
What up, cuz?
68
00:02:31,110 --> 00:02:33,720
Okay, C-Crutch, could-could you
put a shirt on, please?
69
00:02:35,050 --> 00:02:37,050
You called me
during my naked time.
70
00:02:37,150 --> 00:02:39,920
Eh... Oh...
Okay, Crutch, listen.
71
00:02:40,020 --> 00:02:43,560
Hey, my son Malcolm
just bought a house, and, uh,
72
00:02:43,660 --> 00:02:45,190
he needs new floors, so...
73
00:02:45,330 --> 00:02:47,260
we thought maybe
you could hook us up.
74
00:02:47,330 --> 00:02:49,630
Of course, cuzzo. I got you.
75
00:02:49,730 --> 00:02:51,270
Well, all right.
76
00:02:51,330 --> 00:02:53,440
I can't believe Malcolm
is old enough to buy a house.
77
00:02:53,500 --> 00:02:56,770
It feels just like yesterday
you was wearing pull-ups
78
00:02:56,870 --> 00:02:58,870
and eating glue.
79
00:03:00,510 --> 00:03:01,910
Y'all let me eat glue?
80
00:03:02,010 --> 00:03:05,180
Me? No. Your father
let Crutch watch you.
81
00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:07,350
You kept trying to open up
your little mouth.
82
00:03:07,450 --> 00:03:08,550
It was adorable.
83
00:03:08,650 --> 00:03:10,520
CALVIN (laughs):
Okay, well,
84
00:03:10,620 --> 00:03:12,860
a-all right, all right, cuz,
thank you so much, man.
85
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,960
We appreciate the help, though.
Thank you.
86
00:03:15,020 --> 00:03:17,230
Look, don't mention it.
As soon as I place the order,
87
00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:18,460
I'll get on a plane.
88
00:03:18,530 --> 00:03:20,130
CALVIN:
A plane?
89
00:03:20,230 --> 00:03:22,160
What-- Why-why you
getting on a plane?
90
00:03:22,270 --> 00:03:23,830
It's a long drive from New York.
91
00:03:23,900 --> 00:03:25,530
You know I got
banned from Amtrak.
92
00:03:25,630 --> 00:03:28,540
They don't joke around
with them quiet cars.
93
00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:30,510
(Calvin laughs, stammers)
94
00:03:30,610 --> 00:03:31,910
You know, uh, Crutch,
there's no need
95
00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:33,380
for you to travel
all the way out here.
96
00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:35,080
We just, you know,
we thought you could just
97
00:03:35,210 --> 00:03:36,610
kind of help us
with the materials.
98
00:03:36,710 --> 00:03:38,310
-That's...
-Hold on for a minute.
99
00:03:38,380 --> 00:03:41,650
You want the Crutch discount
without the Crutch?
100
00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:43,190
No. No, no, man,
we want the Crutch.
101
00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:45,520
You know we want the Crutch.
We love the Crutch.
102
00:03:45,590 --> 00:03:47,460
MALCOLM:
Yeah, we want the Crutch.
Hey, hey, hey.
103
00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:48,990
Hey, hey,
thank you, Cousin Crutch.
104
00:03:49,090 --> 00:03:51,430
No problem, Sticky Lips.
105
00:03:53,630 --> 00:03:55,630
* Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood *
106
00:03:55,730 --> 00:03:57,300
* Welcome to the hood. *
107
00:04:04,970 --> 00:04:06,710
Hey! Sorry I'm late.
I'll get dinner started.
108
00:04:06,810 --> 00:04:08,440
Already taken care of.
109
00:04:09,380 --> 00:04:10,210
Wow!
110
00:04:10,310 --> 00:04:11,810
I'm sorry you lost your job,
111
00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:13,880
but coming home to a home-cooked
meal is pretty great.
112
00:04:14,020 --> 00:04:15,620
I love having
all this free time.
113
00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:17,220
You know, just today
114
00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:19,390
I uploaded all of Grover's
baby photos onto the cloud,
115
00:04:19,490 --> 00:04:24,890
I marked all 761
of your unread emails as read,
116
00:04:24,990 --> 00:04:27,000
and I finally canceled
that gym membership
117
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,560
we still had in Michigan.
118
00:04:28,660 --> 00:04:31,070
Huh. How can I repay you?
119
00:04:31,170 --> 00:04:33,040
I can think of a few ways.
120
00:04:33,100 --> 00:04:33,940
Mmm.
121
00:04:34,070 --> 00:04:35,300
Can you not?
122
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,810
-Why do you hate love?
-We barely touched!
123
00:04:37,910 --> 00:04:39,940
I-I'm sorry. I'm just wiped out.
124
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,410
It feels like I've
been silk-screening T-shirts
125
00:04:41,540 --> 00:04:43,450
-for hours.
-Ooh, let me see that.
126
00:04:44,280 --> 00:04:45,950
What have we got here?
127
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,820
"Capy time, vibing hard"?
128
00:04:50,820 --> 00:04:52,020
Did you mean for it to say that?
129
00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:53,790
Okay, boomer.
130
00:04:54,990 --> 00:04:56,930
'Scuse me. I-I am not a boomer.
131
00:04:57,060 --> 00:04:58,730
Tom Brokaw is a boomer.
132
00:04:58,830 --> 00:05:00,360
I don't know your friends, Dad.
133
00:05:00,430 --> 00:05:02,030
(sputters)
134
00:05:02,770 --> 00:05:05,500
I guess we're just confused
about this shirt.
135
00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:07,040
Well, you're the only one,
136
00:05:07,100 --> 00:05:08,770
because everybody in my class
loves them.
137
00:05:08,900 --> 00:05:10,210
I've already sold a bunch.
138
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,440
Oh.
139
00:05:11,540 --> 00:05:12,980
Looks like we have
a budding entrepreneur
140
00:05:13,110 --> 00:05:14,280
-in our house.
-Mm.
141
00:05:14,380 --> 00:05:15,980
Yeah. I-I just don't know
how I'm gonna get
142
00:05:16,110 --> 00:05:18,580
all these T-shirts made
and my homework done.
143
00:05:18,650 --> 00:05:20,080
You're in luck, buddy.
144
00:05:20,180 --> 00:05:21,150
I have all this time.
145
00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:23,420
Please, take advantage. Use me.
146
00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:24,920
-R-Really?
-Yeah.
147
00:05:25,020 --> 00:05:26,390
That'd be great, Dad.
148
00:05:26,490 --> 00:05:27,960
But, uh, at your age,
149
00:05:28,060 --> 00:05:29,160
are you sure
you have the energy?
150
00:05:29,260 --> 00:05:30,830
-At my age?
-GEMMA: Uh...
151
00:05:30,930 --> 00:05:34,260
I have got to teach you
how to quit while you're ahead.
152
00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:38,500
Morning, babe.
I don't know what you're doing,
153
00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:41,300
but this turkey bacon
smells like real bacon.
154
00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:43,170
Oh. Yeah,
you're smelling my bacon,
155
00:05:43,270 --> 00:05:45,340
because my cholesterol is great.
156
00:05:46,410 --> 00:05:47,680
Oh.
157
00:05:47,780 --> 00:05:49,710
Well, can I rub my bacon
on your bacon?
158
00:05:49,810 --> 00:05:51,680
-Ew.
-(knocking)
159
00:05:51,780 --> 00:05:54,620
-Don't be nasty.
-Ain't nobody being nasty.
I'm talking about bacon.
160
00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:56,120
-You're being nasty,
you know you are.
-You-- No, you were being--
161
00:05:56,220 --> 00:05:57,820
Hey, I'm talking
about breakfast, girl.
162
00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:00,220
-I wasn't even trying
to do nothing.
-(chuckling)
163
00:06:01,790 --> 00:06:04,160
-Hey!
-Cuz!
164
00:06:06,230 --> 00:06:08,700
Crutch, man!
Wh-What are you doing here?
165
00:06:08,830 --> 00:06:11,030
I told you I was coming.
166
00:06:11,130 --> 00:06:12,540
Yeah, but, uh, you know,
I thought you'd tell me
167
00:06:12,670 --> 00:06:13,900
when you were coming.
168
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,540
You know you didn't have
to drop everything.
169
00:06:15,670 --> 00:06:16,770
Drop what?
170
00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:18,340
My wife Jeanette
been gone five years,
171
00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:19,440
God rest her soul.
172
00:06:19,510 --> 00:06:20,980
Kids are out of the house.
173
00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:22,680
I'm all yours.
174
00:06:22,780 --> 00:06:24,280
-Well...
-Oh, there she is!
175
00:06:24,350 --> 00:06:26,520
-Bring it in, sis! Whoo!
-Hey! How you doing?
176
00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:28,350
Ooh, you smell like bacon.
177
00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:30,190
-Oh.
-Oh, it ain't you.
178
00:06:30,290 --> 00:06:31,320
There is bacon.
179
00:06:31,390 --> 00:06:32,590
Oh.
180
00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:34,990
I'm starving. Do you mind?
181
00:06:35,090 --> 00:06:36,930
No, no, go ahead. Help yourself.
182
00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:38,330
-Mmm.
-You already have it
183
00:06:38,430 --> 00:06:40,730
in your unwashed
airplane hands anyway.
184
00:06:41,630 --> 00:06:43,230
Hmm.
185
00:06:43,370 --> 00:06:44,930
You know, every time I see him,
186
00:06:45,030 --> 00:06:46,370
I can't help but think about
187
00:06:46,470 --> 00:06:47,970
how much he looks like
your brother Curtis.
188
00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:49,040
Really?
189
00:06:49,170 --> 00:06:50,040
Yeah.
190
00:06:50,140 --> 00:06:51,570
I don't see it.
191
00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:55,310
These bacons is good.
192
00:06:55,380 --> 00:06:58,250
I can't wait to soak up
some of this L.A. sun,
193
00:06:58,380 --> 00:06:59,620
meet some celebrities.
194
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,180
Oh, before I forget,
195
00:07:01,250 --> 00:07:03,850
here's the receipt
to my airplane ticket.
196
00:07:04,820 --> 00:07:06,820
Oh, I'm-I'm paying
for your flight?
197
00:07:06,890 --> 00:07:09,560
Yeah, I'm supposed to pay
to come fix your floors?
198
00:07:11,260 --> 00:07:12,830
Crutch, this is a lot.
199
00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:14,160
Well, it's a business trip.
200
00:07:14,260 --> 00:07:15,830
That's why I flew
business class.
201
00:07:15,930 --> 00:07:17,170
It's in the name.
202
00:07:18,700 --> 00:07:19,770
Where's the commode?
203
00:07:19,900 --> 00:07:20,770
-That way.
-Yeah.
204
00:07:20,900 --> 00:07:22,610
-Right here?
-Yeah.
205
00:07:24,310 --> 00:07:26,640
-Really, Calvin? Really?
-I know, I know.
206
00:07:26,740 --> 00:07:28,410
I know, I know, babe.
But, you know,
207
00:07:28,540 --> 00:07:31,210
just think about all the money
we'll save on Malcolm's floors.
208
00:07:31,310 --> 00:07:32,550
-Mm.
-And just think about it--
209
00:07:32,650 --> 00:07:34,480
I get to hang out
with my favorite cousin.
210
00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:36,250
You know, back in New York, man,
211
00:07:36,380 --> 00:07:39,290
we would spend summers there.
It'd be such a good time.
212
00:07:39,390 --> 00:07:41,790
And I remember he was just a--
And it was a...
213
00:07:42,590 --> 00:07:43,790
(knocking)
214
00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:45,890
-Ooh, good morning!
-TINA: Oh.
215
00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:47,660
Tina, I'm bringing back
your Crock-Pot.
216
00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:50,930
Just another way I'm using
my free time to help Gemma.
217
00:07:51,030 --> 00:07:52,100
Oh. Well...
218
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:53,440
Ooh. Are your hands blue?
219
00:07:53,540 --> 00:07:54,900
Oh, yeah.
220
00:07:54,970 --> 00:07:57,400
I'm also helping Grover
silk-screen some T-shirts.
221
00:07:58,210 --> 00:08:01,180
Oh, man.
Them little soaps are whimsical.
222
00:08:02,310 --> 00:08:04,710
Uh, Crutch,
this is my good friend Dave.
223
00:08:04,780 --> 00:08:08,320
Oh, this man right here
needs no introduction.
224
00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:10,920
Calvin, have you been
talking me up?
225
00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:12,820
David Schwimmer.
226
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,160
What?
227
00:08:15,290 --> 00:08:17,590
Why didn't you tell me
you was friends
228
00:08:17,690 --> 00:08:18,730
with a Friend?
229
00:08:18,830 --> 00:08:20,600
Oh, no.
Sir, no, no, no, no, no.
230
00:08:20,660 --> 00:08:21,830
That's not-- It's not--
231
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,300
-I'm not--
-Da-David.
-Dave.
232
00:08:23,430 --> 00:08:24,470
-Don't bother.
-Just go with it. It's better.
233
00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:29,610
See how these boards
are all warped?
234
00:08:29,670 --> 00:08:31,910
-Yeah.
-That's from salt air.
235
00:08:32,010 --> 00:08:35,280
Your house is too close
to the big ocean.
236
00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:38,580
Well, Crutch,
it's a beach house.
237
00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:40,410
That's actually
considered a positive.
238
00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:41,620
Go figure.
239
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:42,890
California.
240
00:08:44,490 --> 00:08:48,090
Anyway, I ordered you
some oak wood flooring.
241
00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:49,560
But now?
242
00:08:49,660 --> 00:08:52,390
I think that you might want
some engineered hardwood.
243
00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:54,430
But don't worry about it--
I'll get it for you at cost.
244
00:08:54,530 --> 00:08:56,800
-Okay, well, that's good, right?
-But it might take
245
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:58,670
a day or two
to arrive from the warehouse.
246
00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:00,170
But don't worry.
247
00:09:00,300 --> 00:09:02,000
I have someplace to stay,
248
00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:04,410
and I'll have time
to go see the big donut
249
00:09:04,510 --> 00:09:07,010
and the place where Whoopi
Goldberg put her dreadlocks
250
00:09:07,110 --> 00:09:08,410
in the cement.
251
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:12,950
Okay. Well, uh, now
that my floors are all torn up,
252
00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:14,950
-I guess I need
a place to stay, too.
-Mm.
253
00:09:15,020 --> 00:09:17,990
Well, you're welcome to bunk
with me at your pop's house.
254
00:09:19,690 --> 00:09:22,260
Uh, you should know that he
likes to sleep in the nude.
255
00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:25,190
And go to the kitchen
that way, too.
256
00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:29,400
-Hey, Dad.
-(chuckles): Hey!
257
00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:30,900
-Are you taking a break?
-No.
258
00:09:31,030 --> 00:09:32,940
Actually, I've already done
seven this morning.
259
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:34,040
Oh, that's great,
260
00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:35,600
'cause I just got
an order for 24.
261
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,340
Ooh, that's exciting, buddy.
262
00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:39,470
Yeah. Um...
263
00:09:41,380 --> 00:09:42,310
Hey, is...
264
00:09:42,380 --> 00:09:44,410
is this one, uh, for practice?
265
00:09:45,380 --> 00:09:46,950
There something wrong with it?
266
00:09:48,150 --> 00:09:49,850
No, uh... it's fine.
267
00:09:49,950 --> 00:09:51,450
Like, I can tell
you were tired, so...
268
00:09:51,550 --> 00:09:53,890
What? Okay, you know,
look, I-I can redo it.
269
00:09:54,020 --> 00:09:56,060
Oh, could you?
That'd be great. Thank you.
270
00:09:56,190 --> 00:09:57,530
Uh, that one, too.
271
00:09:58,290 --> 00:10:00,300
Hey, Dave.
While you're at the drugstore,
272
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:01,900
I need you to get me
some concealer.
273
00:10:02,030 --> 00:10:04,000
Well, I'm gonna need
a little more detail than that.
274
00:10:04,100 --> 00:10:05,570
You know what kind
of concealer I use.
275
00:10:05,670 --> 00:10:09,170
I'm only vaguely aware
of the concept of concealer.
276
00:10:09,270 --> 00:10:11,770
Just get my old one
out of the cabinet.
277
00:10:11,910 --> 00:10:13,110
Come on, Grover.
We got to go.
278
00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:14,110
Love you. Bye.
279
00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:15,310
This one, too.
280
00:10:19,650 --> 00:10:22,250
Crutch, were you up early
watching TV?
281
00:10:22,380 --> 00:10:23,520
Yeah.
282
00:10:23,620 --> 00:10:25,750
I'm on East Coast time.
283
00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:29,660
Well, what was so funny
at 4:00 in the morning?
284
00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:32,430
Your boy David Schwimmer
on Friends.
285
00:10:34,060 --> 00:10:35,400
He look different.
286
00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:37,300
I think he had work done.
287
00:10:38,630 --> 00:10:39,940
Oh, my goodness.
288
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,100
What the hell, Calvin?
It's freezing in here.
289
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:44,470
The thermostat's at 62 degrees.
290
00:10:44,570 --> 00:10:46,370
I'm a hot sleeper.
291
00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:51,550
You know something? You two
have been so gracious to me.
292
00:10:51,650 --> 00:10:53,050
How about letting me
make you breakfast?
293
00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:55,750
Who wants some
of my famous waffles?
294
00:10:55,850 --> 00:10:57,220
-Oh...
-Oh, okay. Well, that's
295
00:10:57,320 --> 00:10:58,820
nice of you, Crutch.
Thank you.
296
00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:00,420
It's the least I can do.
297
00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:02,160
-Oh.
-Yes.
298
00:11:02,290 --> 00:11:05,090
-Oh, babe, I remember
when we were kids.
-Mm.
299
00:11:05,190 --> 00:11:07,830
-Crutch's waffles-- fantastic.
-(truck backup alarm beeping)
300
00:11:07,930 --> 00:11:08,800
Ooh, okay.
301
00:11:08,900 --> 00:11:10,300
(brakes hissing)
302
00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:11,700
Oh.
303
00:11:12,470 --> 00:11:14,340
Yeah, it's, uh,
the delivery truck.
304
00:11:14,470 --> 00:11:16,040
I think
the engineered wood is here.
305
00:11:16,140 --> 00:11:18,370
Oh, hallelujah.
306
00:11:19,210 --> 00:11:21,080
Where's your toaster?
307
00:11:27,780 --> 00:11:30,490
You know, I don't think
all this stuff is gonna fit.
308
00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:31,650
That's okay.
309
00:11:31,790 --> 00:11:33,320
We can make another trip.
310
00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:34,690
Maybe tomorrow.
311
00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:35,820
Oh, hell no.
312
00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:37,460
Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
313
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:38,690
No!
314
00:11:38,830 --> 00:11:40,930
No, let's get this done today.
I mean,
315
00:11:41,030 --> 00:11:44,370
let's just load up
my beautiful Subaru Solterra.
316
00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:47,140
Look, she got all kinds of room.
S-See?
317
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:50,270
Huh. I never pictured you
driving a EV.
318
00:11:50,340 --> 00:11:51,840
What is that supposed to mean?
319
00:11:51,970 --> 00:11:53,540
Electric vehicle.
320
00:11:55,510 --> 00:11:56,380
Calvin?
321
00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:57,950
All right, all right, all right.
322
00:11:58,050 --> 00:11:59,450
Come on, let's just load it up.
323
00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:01,180
Yeah, I don't know.
324
00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:03,550
You sure this car can make it
all the way to the beach?
325
00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:04,690
Are you kidding me?
326
00:12:04,820 --> 00:12:06,090
With the range on this baby,
327
00:12:06,190 --> 00:12:08,660
I could drive
all the way to Mexico.
328
00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:10,530
We should go to Cancún.
329
00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:13,000
Do floors tomorrow.
330
00:12:13,060 --> 00:12:15,700
No. O-Okay, o-okay,
how-how about this?
331
00:12:15,830 --> 00:12:17,430
You do the floors today
332
00:12:17,530 --> 00:12:20,570
and then I take you
to Roscoe's in East L.A.
333
00:12:20,670 --> 00:12:23,370
You won't know the difference.
Okay?
334
00:12:23,470 --> 00:12:24,710
-Deal.
-Okay. (chuckles)
335
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:27,210
Even though they waffles
ain't as good as mine.
336
00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:32,050
CRUTCH:
Ah!
337
00:12:32,150 --> 00:12:34,320
This is the life.
338
00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:38,650
How many fish
you think are in there?
339
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:42,830
I don't know, Crutch.
It's the Pacific Ocean.
340
00:12:43,590 --> 00:12:45,490
How about you come in here
and help us
341
00:12:45,560 --> 00:12:47,530
-and we can count fish later?
-Yeah.
342
00:12:48,330 --> 00:12:49,930
Malcolm, you owe me for this.
343
00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:52,330
I am not built
for manual labor. Ow!
344
00:12:52,430 --> 00:12:53,570
See? Splinter.
345
00:12:54,170 --> 00:12:55,740
-Ow!
-CALVIN: Okay, okay.
346
00:12:56,540 --> 00:12:58,210
I'm gonna say two million.
347
00:13:02,010 --> 00:13:03,610
(sighs, sputters)
348
00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:09,420
I see what
you were trying to do.
349
00:13:10,750 --> 00:13:11,920
So you don't like 'em?
350
00:13:12,050 --> 00:13:13,390
They're getting better.
351
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,060
It's just...
352
00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:16,520
(sighs)
When people buy a Grover,
353
00:13:16,620 --> 00:13:19,290
they expect
a certain level of quality.
354
00:13:20,130 --> 00:13:22,530
Okay. Grover,
I'm doing the best I can.
355
00:13:22,630 --> 00:13:24,270
I mean, look at my hands.
They're all cramped up.
356
00:13:24,370 --> 00:13:25,770
They look like blue claws.
357
00:13:25,870 --> 00:13:27,540
I mean, I get it. I get it.
358
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,470
It's just...
(sighs)
359
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,640
These new orders
are from juniors.
360
00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:35,480
Okay? So it's one thing to sell
subpar shirts to freshmen,
361
00:13:35,580 --> 00:13:37,110
but this...
362
00:13:37,210 --> 00:13:38,410
whatever this is,
363
00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:40,680
it's-it's not gonna fly
with the juniors.
364
00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:45,220
Hmm.
365
00:13:46,020 --> 00:13:47,490
Oh.
Let me guess--
366
00:13:47,620 --> 00:13:49,090
the concealer's wrong.
367
00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:50,490
Well, it's just the color.
368
00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:51,930
This is frosted linen.
369
00:13:52,030 --> 00:13:53,830
I use almond pearl.
370
00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:58,270
They looked exactly the same.
371
00:13:58,370 --> 00:14:00,100
I have peach undertones.
372
00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:02,970
(scoffs)
But it's okay.
373
00:14:03,070 --> 00:14:04,770
It's okay.
You didn't know.
374
00:14:04,870 --> 00:14:05,910
(chuckles)
375
00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:08,640
Well, I can only do so much.
376
00:14:08,740 --> 00:14:11,280
Okay, this one's
definitely a freshman shirt.
377
00:14:13,180 --> 00:14:14,520
Oh, God.
378
00:14:14,650 --> 00:14:16,180
Oh. What now?
379
00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:19,490
It's fine. It's just I asked you
for a shampoo and conditioner,
380
00:14:19,620 --> 00:14:21,690
and you got me
shampoo-conditioner.
381
00:14:22,490 --> 00:14:23,860
What am I missing?
382
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:25,630
The "and."
383
00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:32,430
I'm sorry that your husband
is not Vidal Sassoon.
384
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:35,300
Is that another one
of your boomer friends?
385
00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:37,510
I am an elder millennial!
386
00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:39,980
And you are taking advantage
of my generosity.
387
00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:41,510
But no more!
388
00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:46,010
(door opens)
389
00:14:46,110 --> 00:14:48,920
I did not mean
to slam the door that hard.
390
00:14:49,020 --> 00:14:51,720
But I am still quite upset.
391
00:14:58,590 --> 00:15:02,130
It's like whatever I do
for them, it's never enough.
392
00:15:02,230 --> 00:15:03,270
Get the dry cleaning.
393
00:15:03,330 --> 00:15:04,870
Make these T-shirts.
394
00:15:04,970 --> 00:15:07,570
Become a shampoo expert.
395
00:15:08,770 --> 00:15:10,170
So you ran away from home?
396
00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:11,540
No, Tina.
397
00:15:11,670 --> 00:15:13,640
Running away from home
is for children.
398
00:15:13,740 --> 00:15:15,180
I stormed out.
399
00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:16,480
Like a man.
400
00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:19,510
Ah, ah! Don't move.
401
00:15:19,610 --> 00:15:20,820
This area is still wet.
402
00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:23,390
Man, I tell you,
these floors are solid.
403
00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:25,320
Ain't no crabs getting in here.
404
00:15:25,390 --> 00:15:26,720
Great.
405
00:15:26,820 --> 00:15:28,290
Malcolm, you owe me a mani-pedi.
406
00:15:28,390 --> 00:15:30,590
What? Why am I getting
your toes done?
407
00:15:30,690 --> 00:15:32,460
It's cheaper to do the set.
408
00:15:33,530 --> 00:15:36,900
Once all that sealant dries,
Malcolm,
409
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,130
you'll be able to Cha-Cha Slide
on these floors, man.
410
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:41,500
-Hey!
-Oh, yes!
411
00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:43,510
And look at the time!
412
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:44,840
Crutch, you are in luck.
413
00:15:44,940 --> 00:15:46,510
You could be able to catch
your red-eye.
414
00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:48,080
-Oh.
-Yeah.
415
00:15:48,210 --> 00:15:49,510
Flag on the play, guys.
416
00:15:49,610 --> 00:15:51,610
What-what-what flag? What flag?
417
00:15:52,410 --> 00:15:53,780
This ain't gonna work.
418
00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:56,380
-Why?
-The sealant was
for the original wood.
419
00:15:57,390 --> 00:15:58,420
Look at the streaks.
420
00:15:58,550 --> 00:15:59,720
What streaks? Uh, what streaks?
421
00:15:59,820 --> 00:16:02,420
I don't see no streaks. What?
422
00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:05,260
You can't see,
because when it come to floors,
423
00:16:05,390 --> 00:16:07,400
you don't have
the professional eye.
424
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:09,900
But that's okay.
It's gonna take a few days.
425
00:16:10,900 --> 00:16:13,340
I'm just glad I'm getting used
to your hard bed.
426
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:16,100
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait, wait.
427
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:17,540
You staying?
428
00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:19,070
-He's staying?
-Okay.
429
00:16:19,170 --> 00:16:21,810
All right. Let-let-let me
just talk to him.
430
00:16:21,910 --> 00:16:24,380
-Crutch, what's going on, man?
-Get on that.
431
00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:26,650
Nothing.
The floors, they just not right.
432
00:16:26,750 --> 00:16:28,620
Come on, these floors
are beautiful.
433
00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:30,450
And-and when it comes
to flooring,
434
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:31,950
you don't make mistakes.
435
00:16:32,090 --> 00:16:33,420
Not on the East Coast.
436
00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:34,920
But due to the time change
437
00:16:35,020 --> 00:16:36,420
and your house being so hot--
438
00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:38,290
Oh. Oh, no, no, no.
439
00:16:38,430 --> 00:16:39,730
I know what this is.
440
00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:41,800
See, this is what you always do
441
00:16:41,930 --> 00:16:43,570
whenever you don't want
to do something.
442
00:16:43,630 --> 00:16:47,640
What? You crazy.
443
00:16:48,540 --> 00:16:49,900
Am I?
444
00:16:49,970 --> 00:16:51,940
I mean, you've been doing this
since we were kids, man.
445
00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:54,910
This reminds me-- when you were
afraid to play tackle football
446
00:16:54,980 --> 00:16:59,010
and told your daddy
you had geriatric arthritis.
447
00:17:00,380 --> 00:17:02,220
You were nine.
448
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:03,590
Fine.
449
00:17:03,650 --> 00:17:05,220
-You got me.
-Okay.
450
00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:06,650
The truth is,
451
00:17:06,750 --> 00:17:08,160
been running from my problems,
452
00:17:08,260 --> 00:17:09,860
just like TV's Ross.
453
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:14,030
You guys, again, I stormed out.
454
00:17:16,060 --> 00:17:18,070
Been married so long.
455
00:17:18,170 --> 00:17:20,300
When Jeanette passed,
456
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:21,940
just got lonely.
457
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,840
(clicks tongue)
Aw, Crutch.
458
00:17:23,970 --> 00:17:25,510
I'm sorry.
459
00:17:25,610 --> 00:17:27,680
I mean, well,
what about your kids?
460
00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:29,540
My daughter's in Minnesota.
461
00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:31,380
My son's off in law school.
462
00:17:32,410 --> 00:17:34,780
We don't have
what you have here.
463
00:17:36,450 --> 00:17:38,520
I got used to
being around family.
464
00:17:38,650 --> 00:17:41,020
Guess I was just trying
to make the feeling last.
465
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:43,490
-Come on, man.
We got you, cuz, man.
-We're your family.
466
00:17:43,630 --> 00:17:45,530
-You can always FaceTime us.
-Yeah.
467
00:17:45,630 --> 00:17:46,890
Yeah, man.
468
00:17:47,660 --> 00:17:48,660
So my floors are finished?
469
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:50,600
Wrong with you?
470
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:52,470
Um...
471
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:54,100
we love you, cuz.
472
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:55,700
-Yes.
-TINA: Yes.
473
00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:57,870
Crutch, you know what,
take your time.
474
00:17:57,970 --> 00:17:59,940
-You can stay
as long as you like.
-Yeah.
475
00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:01,440
Till Sunday.
476
00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:05,880
-Okay, come on, y'all.
Let's get out of here.
-All right.
477
00:18:06,710 --> 00:18:09,450
No, no, no, no.
Not you, David Schwimmer.
478
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:11,620
You have to wait
for that sealant to dry.
479
00:18:11,690 --> 00:18:13,220
How long is that gonna take?
480
00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:15,020
About two, three hours.
481
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:18,190
All right, now, we gonna see you
at the house, Dave.
482
00:18:18,290 --> 00:18:19,860
Yeah, see you later.
483
00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:26,870
You know, your cousin Crutch
can be a handful,
484
00:18:26,970 --> 00:18:28,070
but I'm-a miss him.
485
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:30,000
Yeah. You know, me, too.
486
00:18:30,070 --> 00:18:32,540
And he did save us a few bucks
on those new floors.
487
00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:35,980
I just don't know how he managed
to spend $300 at Roscoe's.
488
00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:37,450
(chuckles)
I do.
489
00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:39,980
This suitcase is full
of chicken and waffles.
490
00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:41,220
What?
491
00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:44,890
Hey, Dad.
492
00:18:44,990 --> 00:18:46,420
Um...
493
00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:51,590
Look, I-I really felt bad
when you ran away from home.
494
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:57,030
Grover, I stormed out.
495
00:18:57,100 --> 00:18:58,800
That's not really
how it came off.
496
00:18:58,900 --> 00:19:00,240
But...
497
00:19:00,370 --> 00:19:01,840
regardless, um,
498
00:19:01,900 --> 00:19:04,840
I'm sorry I rode you so hard
about the shirts.
499
00:19:04,940 --> 00:19:06,510
I was not a good boss.
500
00:19:06,610 --> 00:19:09,410
Son, you were not my boss.
501
00:19:10,580 --> 00:19:12,450
Well, not to worry,
502
00:19:12,550 --> 00:19:14,620
because I fixed
my production issue.
503
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,580
Um, I'm outsourcing
my silk-screening
504
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:19,990
to a bunch of eighth graders who
will do it for 50 cents a shirt.
505
00:19:21,220 --> 00:19:23,790
Grover, that's, like,
two dollars an hour.
506
00:19:23,890 --> 00:19:26,430
Yeah, that's why I didn't
go to the math kids.
507
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:32,770
Dave, I just want you to know
508
00:19:32,870 --> 00:19:35,600
how much I appreciate
all you've been doing for us.
509
00:19:35,700 --> 00:19:36,970
And if I haven't said it--
510
00:19:37,100 --> 00:19:38,510
You haven't said it.
511
00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:41,240
Well, I just said it.
512
00:19:44,380 --> 00:19:45,780
Okay, well...
513
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:46,880
I forgive you.
514
00:19:46,980 --> 00:19:48,980
-Aw.
-Can you not?
515
00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:52,590
-How do you think
we made you?
-It's so normal.
516
00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:54,620
-Hey, hey, cuzzo!
-(chuckles)
517
00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:55,920
You ready to go?
518
00:19:55,990 --> 00:19:56,990
-Yep.
-(chuckles)
519
00:19:57,120 --> 00:19:58,790
Been fun, but I got to go home.
520
00:19:58,890 --> 00:20:00,560
-Aw.
-Need to feed my snake
521
00:20:00,660 --> 00:20:02,000
or I won't have a cat.
522
00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:05,170
Wow!
523
00:20:05,270 --> 00:20:07,130
Lisa Kudrow!
524
00:20:09,770 --> 00:20:11,610
You guys are friends
in real life?
525
00:20:11,670 --> 00:20:13,540
-Just go with it.
-Oh.
526
00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:17,110
It's been great
seeing you, Crutch.
527
00:20:17,180 --> 00:20:19,910
Yeah, you know, I hope it's
not so long till the next time.
528
00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:22,250
Well, it doesn't have to be.
You know, my son Jake
529
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,290
is graduating from law school.
530
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:25,520
Y'all two should come.
531
00:20:25,650 --> 00:20:27,560
Oh, my God. To New York?
532
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:28,590
Oh, yeah. I'm in.
533
00:20:28,660 --> 00:20:30,690
I mean, shopping, Broadway show,
534
00:20:30,830 --> 00:20:32,430
room service, shopping.
535
00:20:32,530 --> 00:20:33,430
-Well...
-Oh, my God.
536
00:20:33,500 --> 00:20:34,760
I mean, you know,
537
00:20:34,830 --> 00:20:35,830
I already spent a lot of money
538
00:20:35,930 --> 00:20:37,130
on these new floors, so...
539
00:20:37,230 --> 00:20:38,530
-Oh, come on.
-I mean, it's got to be
540
00:20:38,670 --> 00:20:40,440
the most expensive hookup
I've ever gotten.
541
00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:43,000
But Calvin, you keep saying
how important family is.
542
00:20:43,100 --> 00:20:44,110
Right, Crutch?
543
00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:45,140
Absolutely.
544
00:20:45,210 --> 00:20:46,270
Huh.
545
00:20:46,370 --> 00:20:47,810
I'm gonna go book it right now.
546
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:49,040
Ha!
547
00:20:50,180 --> 00:20:52,050
See what you did?
548
00:20:52,180 --> 00:20:53,350
You know what?
549
00:20:53,450 --> 00:20:55,120
I hope TSA confiscate
every breast,
550
00:20:55,220 --> 00:20:56,750
thigh, and wing
you got in there.
551
00:21:02,860 --> 00:21:05,890
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
552
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:08,630
and TOYOTA.
553
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:12,170
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org38903
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof