Original subtitles

- So just make sure to eat plenty of low-acid foods

and avoid caffeine and alcohol.

They can further irritate the stomach lining.

Any questions? - Yeah.

Can I pet the pony now? - You may.

- OK. Hi.

Oh, I love your hair.

- Some people hate hospitals, but everybody loves a pony.

So I decided to bring in a professional therapy horse

to help boost the morale of our patients.

But there has been an unanticipated downside.

- Ugh.

- Matt, we got another Code Brown.

- Oh!

- I don't know what they feed that animal,

but it is alarmingly fiber-rich.

- Ma'am, be careful.

There's just a little mess.

Ma'am, right- ma'am, right there!

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

- Oh!

- [laughs] Yeah, right down the barrel.

- Let's track and bleach, yeah? Track and bleach.

- Somebody grab her. She's headed to radiology.

- I'm gonna get her. Ma'am?

- Why is it so much? - Ma'am?

- I'm just spreading it everywhere.

[shoes squeaking] Oh!

- Matt!

[upbeat music]

?

- Hey, where are you going?

What are you doing with those?

- It's for the Tomo Pod.

Remember you signed for it?

- Tomo Pod?

Are you talking about that fancy new full-body scanner

I've been seeing promoted by recognizable actors

on Instagram?

Well, I don't think that belongs here.

Unless a plucky administrator talked them into sending one.

[laughs] That's right.

This month, St. Denis is hosting

our own in-house Tomo Pod.

- Sorry, before we call our loved ones with the good news,

what exactly is a Tomo Pod?

- It's only the next frontier in early detection.

Yeah, it scans your body at the cellular level

to detect any abnormalities that could be lurking inside.

Yeah, things like bulging discs, pulmonary nodules.

- Nobody needs this.

All these preemptive scans do

is send people down a rabbit hole of anxiety

and unnecessary procedures.

- I'm sorry, but I think it's important to spot disease

before it becomes a disaster.

- That's literally the slogan on the Tomo Pod box.

- Well, it doesn't make it any less true, Serena.

And to encourage you all to promote this to our patients,

all employees are entitled to a free body scan today only.

- Boom-shakalaka!

- We are gonna help people live fuller lives

with fewer question marks.

- Yeah, that's also on the box.

- So help me, Jesus.

- Always some new gimmick Joyce is cooking up.

- I don't know.

I mean, in the grand scheme of things,

I think you could do worse than promoting body scans.

Maybe it'll help people.

- Well, I just think you take a black light to anything,

you're gonna find some stains.

- Sure, but surely there's some areas of life

where you want all the information.

Like relationships, right?

Tim and I tell each other everything.

It's all out there on the table.

- Please.

Don't tell me you're one of those

"open communication" types.

- Yeah, you're right.

I should have asked you for tips.

Tell me, how was your communication

with your divorce lawyer?

- My marriage didn't fail because my wife

wanted me to talk more.

- I'm just saying, total transparency works for us.

- So Tim knows all about Hot Gary?

- The delivery guy?

That's just some silly office joke.

- Got it.

- Hot Gary's not a thing, man.

- Well, if Hot Gary is not a thing,

then you wouldn't mind calling Tim

and telling him all about it.

- You know, I actually think, right now,

it might be more important that I get Mr. Chavez his Dilaudid.

- Tim deserves to know how hot Gary is!

- I can't hear you through the curtain.

- Oh, I'm very excited to get to Tomo'd.

See, I'm always fine-tuning my health regimen,

so a chance to peek under the hood

like this is the dream.

I've been watching other hospitals getting a Tomo,

and I've been having major Tomo FOMO, fo' sho'-mo.

- Oh, you can put your shirt back on.

- Nah, I'm good.

- OK.

Well, your heart looks excellent.

No plaque. No evidence of a PFO.

- All right, stop it. I'm blushing.

- Your muscle mass is really exceptional.

- Hey, come on. What? Stop filming this.

- As for your spine-

- Oh, wow. That's gorgeous.

Yeah. Look at that hot rod.

- Oh, no, no, this is just a stock image of a healthy spine.

This is your spine.

So just over 10 degrees of curvature,

nominal scoliosis,

but absolutely nothing to be concerned about.

- Uh-huh. Then why is it red?

- Oh, that's just to highlight the deviation from the norm.

Again, it's really not a big deal.

- Then why use red?

- I wasn't on the design team.

- Tell me something.

What's the margin of error on these things anyway?

- Oh, it's guaranteed to be accurate within 40 microns.

- 40? OK. Well, there it is.

- That's less than the width of a human hair.

- Still, you know, 40 of anything.

[sputters]

- Dakota, thank you for coming in.

How are you? - I'm OK.

Somebody's been stealing my yogurts again.

- Good. Glad to hear it.

Listen, I brought you in here today-

and believe me, these things are never easy.

But- [machine whirring]

What's that?

Is that the Tomo Pod?

Jesus, that's abrasive, isn't it?

What was I saying?

- These things are never easy. - Oh, right, right.

These things are never easy. Uh-huh-huh.

Oh.

So every workplace is different.

It's a question of fit. [machine thudding]

I'm sorry, is this getting louder?

It's so hard for me to concentrate.

Sounds like a vending machine having an orgasm.

- Right, but what were you saying about-

- Sha-la-la-la-la. [whirring stops]

Whew. OK, Dakota, let's just rip the Band-Aid off, OK?

All right. [whirring resumes]

Nope, not today. Out.

Get out. - Oh.

- Thank you so much for stopping by.

- You know what?

I'd really prefer to talk now because-

- If you get an email from HR, do not answer it.

- Actually, I wanted to talk to you about my email.

- You know what?

I think my brain will acclimate to this.

[machine blaring]

It's fine.

- Hey, how'd that phone call to Tim go?

I mean, how did he take all of that Hot Gary stuff?

- Oh, my God, you were serious about that?

- Yeah. But you know what?

Forget about it.

I mean, you don't have to buy your own BS, so...

- All right, hold on.

I'm gonna call Tim right now.

- Great.

I mean, I'd really like to see your policy in action.

I might even learn a few things.

- Yeah, I think that you will.

- OK. [line rings]

- [clears throat]

- Hey, hon. What's up?

- Oh, nothing.

Kind of a slow day.

Thought I'd say hi.

- Aw, hi.

- Also, so funny story.

There-well, there's this delivery guy, Gary,

and some people, the nurses, think that he's hot.

And so we all call him Hot Gary.

- OK.

And then what?

- Nothing. That's it.

- Oh, OK. I thought there was-

OK. Fun story, babe.

- Thanks.

- I mean, not much of a hero's journey, but nice.

- So it's not a big deal, then, right?

You're not upset?

- Sweetie, I'm aware that we're both human

and we're still gonna find people attractive,

especially people we see all the time at work.

- Exactly. Yeah.

Who do you find attractive at work, then?

- Well, I don't know.

I guess Serena's pretty.

- What?

No. Your work, honey. I meant your work.

[machine whirring]

[machine thudding]

- Yeah, that did absolutely nothing.

- Obviously.

- OK, wait.

Let me try this.

[whirring and thudding continue]

Nah, it's still there.

- What was your theory there? [thudding stops]

- Wait, it stopped!

Problem solved.

[machine blaring] No, it's back.

- See, it gives you a flash of hope, and then it rips it away.

- Wait, light bulb.

What if we reframed it as a beautiful song?

[machine thudding] Just listen.

[rhythmically] Gong-gong-gong, gong-gong-gong-gong.

Gong-gong-gong, gong-gong-gong-gong.

- Get the [bleep] out.

- Yes.

- Gotta admit, you are in a real pickle.

- Oh, yeah? How's that?

- Well, according to your "share everything" lifestyle,

you really do have to tell Serena

what Tim said about her.

- It's not the same thing, man.

I'm not married to Serena.

- One could argue that you tell your best friend

more than you tell your partner.

- All right, listen, I can see you're having a lot of fun

with this, but we're still pretty backed up

from that popped bouncy castle, so, sadly, I do have

more important things to worry about.

- You don't want to tell Serena because it's a good thing

that everybody doesn't know everything

and there are some things that are better kept inside.

Game, set, match:

Dr. Ronald Leonard.

Boop!

[laughs]

- Little Zone A yoga?

- Yeah. Just trying to stay limber.

Found out I have some negligible curvature

in my spine, so taking a few corrective measures.

No biggie. - No way!

- Yeah. - I have scoliosis too.

- What? No, my thing's different.

- I ordered something called a pelvic clock.

- We're not the same, Keith, all right?

Actually, I think Ron was looking for you.

- Oh, OK. Hmm.

- Hey, I did that body scan you were hyping up.

Apparently I have excess fluid in both my knees.

- Ugh, tough break.

But I don't even know if that machine's 100%.

Told me I have a curved spine or some nonsense.

- Oh, that's so funny, 'cause it said

mine was perfectly straight.

The tech guy said it was... flawless.

It's weird. - Oh yeah?

- Yeah, yeah, he was joking around

he could barely tell my spine from the stock image.

- Oh, my God. - Could hardly see

my green outline. - Green? Yeah.

Yeah, mine was green too, so- shade of green.

- Nice. - Yeah.

- The green guys. - Yeah!

- Hey, Ron said he wasn't looking for me.

- Yes, he was, Keith! Please. He was.

[sighs]

- Hey, how's it going, pretty lady?

- Ooh, I like this energy.

- I'm just speaking the truth, you know?

You're pretty, and I think basically everyone agrees.

- Mm. - You know, I do. Tim does.

- What?

- Oh, yeah, it-it's come up.

Can't really be that surprising, though.

I mean, you're a hot tamale.

Like, who doesn't think that?

- OK, so you know I'm extremely poly positive,

but you and Tim are like family, and I just-

- Oh, my God, no, I'm not-

I'm not propositioning you for a throuple.

I just-

Tim and I were chatting, and it just came up

that he thought you were cute.

That's all. Isn't that funny?

[chuckles] We both did a full LOL.

- OK, not really sure what I'm supposed to do with that.

- Nothing.

Oh, my God, it doesn't even matter.

It's just, like...

[robotically] Meaningless factoids.

So... - Yeah.

[indistinct announcement over P.A. system]

- [clears throat]

- That was good.

Smooth.

That is exactly what is wrong with society nowadays.

Everyone wants to share every little thought

that pops into their head.

I knew my grandfather for 30 years.

He never said more than 10 words to me.

Great man.

- Excuse me.

Hey, I am in the room directly next door-

- Oh, and you're worried about the radiation?

- No, but why don't I let you talk first?

- Well, technically the Tomo Pod

does emit a small amount of radiation,

but it's really so tiny, it's not a big deal.

- Well, if it's- if it's not a big deal,

why are you wearing that vest?

- Well, I'm here all day.

- I'm here all day.

I'm here all day.

- Do you want a vest?

- I just wish it wasn't on my hand.

- Listen, that is the worst it is ever gonna look, all right?

We'll do a consult with plastics.

You will be all right, I promise.

We're gonna take good care of you, OK?

- Just hang tight.

Hey, that was really nice. You seemed a lot calmer-

- How'd you do on your fatty liver deposits?

- What? - [mockingly] W-what?

The scan, Matt. Come on. - I don't know.

The tech said, like, 4%.

- Oh, yowch. Really?

Mine was 2 1/2%.

That's less, you know?

How about nasal polyps?

How many they get you for?

- I honestly don't remember.

- Goose egg for me.

Yeah, you probably had a couple, but that's typical.

But hey, you did good on the spine, so it evens out, right?

- Oh, thanks.

You know, it's kind of nice 'cause you

can fix the other stuff, but the spine you got

is the spine you got.

- Right, right. Yeah.

Well, liver's a pretty big one too.

Oop, sorry.

It's probably a sore subject for you

since I dominated you on those fatty deposits.

- Ah, no, it's OK.

You know, I always had a fear with the spine

because back home, there was this old hunchbacked guy

who we called Old Hunchback. - Whoa.

- And- - Whoa.

You can't say "hunchback," Matt.

No, they prefer... something else, I'd imagine.

Huh, it's not enough they have to dodge pebbles

on the way to the market.

Now they got you slandering them?

- No. - Oof.

I do not like this color on you.

Oh, my God.

- Could you bleep "hunchback"?

Or-[bleep]. Oh, sorry.

- Hey, Alex.

Mr. Maybach had some test results come back inconclusive,

and I just wanted to get your take.

Does this baby look like his daddy, Tim,

or his mommy, Serena?

- Are you insane?

- Hey!

I worked my whole lunch hour on that.

Took a while to get a clear shot of Serena.

Plus, why do I have to give them my credit card?

- It's enough now, Ron, don't you think?

The last thing I need is for Serena to see this

and it make things even more weird.

- Aha!

So you do acknowledge that telling Serena

made things weird.

- No, I'm just saying that out of context-

you know what?

I am gonna clear this up right now.

Hey, Serena. Sorry. Sorry.

Just to give you more context for the whole Tim thing.

So Ron and I were talking about open communication,

all right, and that got us on the subject of Gary

the delivery guy is hot.

- Alex- - No, it's OK.

No, I just want to get it all out there in the open.

So you know how the nurses are always talking

about how they'd hook up with Gary?

And, you know, they're like, yeah, you know,

I'd accept his package.

And, you know, like, slide it in my mailbox,

Gary, and stuff like that-

hey, Gary!

- Just need a signature on this.

- Totally. Yep.

How's the kitchen remodel going?

Did you do the brushed nickel, or did you-

- Thanks. - Yeah.

OK, cool. Have a good day.

- Hey, Gary.

- Yeah, you know, Ron's had a lot of fun

with his side of this.

Well, it just got an innocent man accidentally harassed.

So is it funny now?

To Ron, it is, yes.

To him, it is very funny.

- Still waiting on labs. - That's interesting.

So he's- [pen clatters]

- Oh. - Aha.

- Here you go.

- So he's using his thighs, almost like a squat.

- Sorry, what? - Hmm?

Huh? Nothing. No, just keep going.

- What are you doing?

- Just live your life, man.

Oh, forget it.

Knock it off with the peacocking.

- I wasn't sure what Bruce meant about peacocking,

but then I remembered I'd been using this new hair putty

that creates a lot of volume,

so I should probably dial that back a bit.

You know what? No.

I don't want to.

- Hey.

- Honey.

- Are you mad at me?

- What are you doing here?

- Well, you hung up on me after that little

Serena conversation, whatever that was.

And then you weren't- you know,

you weren't returning my call. - We're OK.

Oh, I'm so sorry. These are beautiful.

I just-yes, we are fine.

I'm just having a really frustrating day.

- Yeah? What's going on?

- Oh, my God.

Serena freaked out when I told her what you said.

- I'm sorry. You told her what I said?

- I did-

OK, Ron was being super obnoxious, OK?

And that-that's-that's-

that's the whole reason why I did it.

- That's really weird. - It's gonna be fine.

- That's awkward as hell. - I talked to her.

She thought maybe we wanted, like, a throuple.

- How is that gonna be fine if she thinks that-

- But I talked her out of it.

No, she doesn't think that it's-

- Hey, Serena. [chuckles]

- No, I already told Alex it's a no.

- No. Yeah.

No, I just want to clear the air.

I don't, like, think you're hot or something.

- Oh, sweetie, I don't think that's-

- We don't really need to talk about it.

- That's not making it better.

- Oh, no, no, you're attractive,

in the objective sense that anyone would-

I just don't-I'm-

I'm not tempted.

- Tim, please stop.

- I don't want your best friend thinking that I want

to have sex with her. - Who's talking about sex?

I am at work.

- I said I don't want to have sex with her.

- We really don't need to-

- Hey, you kids, why don't we bring

the temperature down just a bit?

- I don't even know what this is all about.

What could possibly be the point to bringing all this up?

- He's been goading me on all day long

about open communication- - OK!

[chuckles, inhales deeply]

Let's just take a beat and remember, I'm fine,

you're fine, we're all fine.

- Ron, why do you have a million pictures of Serena

on your computer?

- What? - What?

- OK. Hold on.

- Ew!

What is happening with everyone?

- No, no, no, no.

I meant nothing untoward.

I just needed a good... image for the website.

- Hey, I decided to come and work out on the floor.

And I've already sent out three emails and a memo,

so getting it done.

[phone chiming, buzzing]

- Can you put that on silent?

I'm trying to concentrate here.

- Oh, sorry.

It's just, Linda's mom kind of wandered off.

- Well, that's-that's terrible to hear.

I'm sorry.

I-do what you gotta do.

- Appreciate it.

- Yeah.

- She does this sometimes.

Normally it's no big deal.

We keep a tracker sewn into her moccasins.

But she left barefoot this time, so we're concerned.

- Well, I hope she comes back soon.

- Yeah.

It is not a good neighborhood.

- I'm telling you, it was a goof, OK?

I was trying to make an AI image of her baby with Tim.

- Whoa. I-

- Where'd you even get my photo?

- Well, it looks like they're all from today.

- Yeah, they're all blurry.

Ew, how old is your phone?

- Good news.

Got a ping on Linda's mom. - Shh.

Ron's obsessed with Serena.

- I'm not obsessed with her.

She's young enough to be my daughter.

There is no attraction there whatsoever.

I would sooner sleep with Joyce.

Much sooner.

- Ronald!

We are in the workplace, and not every thought

needs to be spoken.

- OK, but can we just-

- Even though it is a thought that I have had on occasion.

And while I'm relieved that someone finally said

the quiet part out loud, I think we need to put

this genie back in the bottle.

[door clicks open] - There he is!

- Hi.

Can I help you with something?

- Well, I realized I had three coffees this morning.

I know.

I must have been wiggling around in that thing

like an Animaniac.

- I don't know what that is.

- Well, the point being, I-

I think it's probably worth taking another go in the pod,

just to get an accurate read this time.

- Right. Yeah.

It's just, the deal was only for one free scan per employee.

- Ah, yes.

Ve must follow ze rules, Kommandant.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

You're not a Nazi to me.

But seriously, I'm happy to pay out of pocket.

You know, money is no issue.

And obviously I'll throw in a few extra bucks.

I know you gotta have your taste, huh?

- I'm sorry.

It's really not recommended to do two scans back-to-back.

- Oh, my God, what do you want me to do,

sign a radiation waiver?

I'll sign a radiation waiver.

Happy to. I just-I-I can do better.

You know, I-I need another shot.

- The results wouldn't be different.

- Come on.

Just get me in the pod, brother.

- I-I don't know how else to say this-

- Get me in the pod, brother.

- No, no, no.

Don't smirk.

None of this would have happened

if you'd have taken my advice and kept

everything to yourself.

So technically I was right.

- Then why do I feel so good right now?

- No, I feel good.

- Hey, Dakota.

Just to get it all out there, Ron's the one who's been

eating your fancy yogurts.

- Wait, seriously?

Those have probiotics for uterine health.

Ron, those-Ron!

- So Matt here is applying an antimicrobial cream

to guard against infection.

Ignore his puffy knees, by the way.

And once we dress it, I can walk you through next steps.

- But I'm definitely gonna have scarring, right?

- There may be some, but it should flatten out over time.

- You know, I actually have a few scars.

And, you know, they're kind of cool.

Shows you went through something

and came out the other side.

Like-like, this was a wheat thresher.

And then I got bucked off a horse.

And this was from a cat that had the plague.

So, you know, they all have their own story.

It's-it's sort of neat.

- Yeah, great story, cooking the halibut special.

- Mark of a badass chef, you know?

Comes with the territory.

It's a-it's a battle wound.

You know, you should own it. - Yeah.

Yeah, I guess that's kind of a cool way of looking at.

- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Hold on, hold on.

I just realized something.

Our imperfections tell our story.

- Yeah, that's what I was- - Matt, please.

I'm a surgeon. OK.

So I twist and contort my body to save lives.

Oh, my God, my spine's not deformed.

It's my-ugh, I don't know-

my battle wound, right?

- I just-

- Of course you're not better than me.

Oh, my God.

- It's OK.

It's only a month.

Honestly, it is not that bad in here.

[car horn blares]

- Watch where you're going, dumbass!

- You almost backed into me, you fat piece of [bleep]!

[car horn blaring]

- One month.

29 more sleeps.

[car horns blaring]

[dogs barking]

[bell clangs]

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0