All language subtitles for Acting Good s04e05 Indecent Paul Posal.eng

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Original subtitles

-�Ready,�bro? -�Yeah,�man.

I'm�loaded�and�bloated!

All�right.�Okay,�man, I�just�gotta�give�Cousin�Leon

the�lowdown�before�we�fly�out.

I�can't�believe�you're�gonna�let Cousin�Leon�stay�here�by�himself

while�we're�at�the�casino.

You're�max�betting with�your�store,�bro.

No,�man.�He'll�be�fine. Cousin�Leon,�get�in�here.

What�do�you�need,�boss?

All�right,�man,�we're�heading out�for�some�cousin�bro�time.

Oh,�we�haven't�been to�the�casino�in�forever.

Yeah,�last�time�I�was�there,�I won�600�bucks�playing�blackjack,

and�I�shit�my�pants.

Now,�that�is�dedication.

I�can't�wait�to�win and�I�can't�wait�to�shit.

All�right. So,�we're�back�tomorrow.

You're�in�charge.

You�got�it,�whatever�you�need.

All�right,�man. So,�when�you�lock�up,

kill�the�lights. But�more�importantly,

put�the�ayii�in�the�ayii.

The�what�in�the�what?

Put�the�ayii�in�the�ayii.

Say�again.

Guy,�put�the�ayii into�the�ayii!

Oh,�yeah.�Yeah. Put�the�ayii�in�the�ayii.

Gotcha.�Very�important.

All�right.�Easy-peasy...�measy.

Hey,

where�can�I�find�ayii?

Uh...

Over�there?

?�Yes,�I�can�love�you,�baby�?

?�All�night�long�?

All�right,�before�we�get�in there�and�go�all-in,�remember,

time�out�your�bathroom�breaks at�the�VLT�machines.

You�think I�don't�know�that,�bro?

You�get�up�to�pee�and�a�Kookum

swoops�in�and steals�your�jackpot.

Yeah,�we�can't�have�that.

You�know,�I�heard,�uh,

some�people�wear�diapers,�so they�don't�lose�their�machines.

What? Diapers�are�for�babies,�man.

Yeah,�man. Not�for�grown�dudes�like�us.

That's�weird,�right?

Yeah,�that's�exactly�what�I�was thinking�when�you�said�it.

It's�weird.

Yeah.�It�makes�me�so�mad just�thinking�about�it.

But�could�you�imagine,�though?

No�way,�man. If�I�wore�a�diaper...

I�wouldn't�tell anybody�about�it.

No�matter�how comfortable�they�are.

All�right,�time�to�lock�in.

-�Best�bros�forever? -�Best�cousin,�bro.

Yeah.

(rustling)

Hey,�how'd�you�sleep?

Pretty�good.�You?

Not�bad. How's�your�day�looking?

Big�day.�I�have�to�record two�more�videos,

then�I�have�to�do�a live�Q&A�for�some�of�my�fans,

and�then�I�have�to edit�and�upload.

Oh,�I�hear�that. I�got�a�pretty�big�day,�too.

Oh,�yeah?

Yeah,�you�know,�big, big�day�of�fucking�with�Lips.

What�Lips�do?

What�do�you�mean? It's�Lips.

I�always�fuck�with�Lips.

Oh,�okay. Well,�I�didn't�know�that.

Yeah,�Sophia�and�Tavis�are coming�over�later�for�a�meeting,

and�we�gotta pick�up�some�supplies,

lots�of�planning,�you�know.

Okay.�Well, good�luck�with�that,�I�guess.

Yeah,�you�too. Work,�am�I�right?

Yeah.

Another�case of�the�Mondays.

It's�Thursday.

Thanks�again.�And�did�we�have what�you�were�looking�for?

Yeah,�man.

That's�my�guy.

Cousin�Leon�(in�mind:)�Psst.

-�It's�me. -�Huh?

Can�I,�uh,�help�you?

What? You're�too�good�for�me�now.

-�You�again? -�Yeah,�it's�me�again.

The�real�you.

-�That�guy's�gone. -�Then,�why�am�I�here?

Let's�destroy�this�place...

for�old�times.

That's�a�bad�idea.

You�are�done�with�him.

My�good�side!

Think�about�Dean.

He�trusted�you when�nobody�else�would.

He�never�trusted�you. You're�just�his�lapdog.

I�am�not!

Then,�why�is�there�a�bowl of�water�on�the�ground?

That's,�uh,�Dean's. I�don't�ask�questions.

He's�not�your�friend,�bro.

Don't�listen�to�him!

So,�he�trusted�you,�but�now, it's�time�to�prove�him�wrong.

What�did�you�have�in�mind?

Let's�put�this dump�out�of�business.

We�could�run�a�hose�in�here�and flood�the�place.�No.�Too�easy.

We�could�cover everything�in�honey

and�let�some�bears�in. No!�That's�too�hard.

Wait. That's�actually�a�good�idea.

No! I'm�the�good�conscience.

It's�a�bad�idea�because...

it�just�is.

(English�accent:) Come�on,�do�it!

Shit! It's�my�bad�conscience.

Get�out�of�here!

Whatever�you�say,�guv'nor.�Oh.

What�are you�looking�at,�wanker?

Come�on,�Leon, we�make�a�great�team,

like�Siegfried�and�Roy.

Good�Leon:�Ignore�him.

Roy�got�attacked�by his�own�tiger.�He's�the�tiger.

Looks�like�you're�having a�hard�time�making�a�decision.

Why�don't�I�give�you�a�hand?

(machine�chiming�musically)

(machines�chiming�musically)

Man,�these�machines aren't�hitting.

Don't�worry,�bro,�these�machines gotta�be�broken�in,

just�like�rubber�boots, they�hurt�at�first,

but�you'll�be sloshing�in�the�cash.

(machine�chiming�musically)

Fuck�sakes,�man!

(machine�chiming�musically)

Bro,�man,�you�can't�put a�price�on�good�bro�time.

Best�bro�cousins?

Best�bro�cousins!

(chuckling)

Come�on,�focus!�On�three!

-�On�three! -�Dean:�On�three!

One,�two,�three!

(machines�chiming�musically)

-�Tech�survey? -�Check.

Found�the�breaker to�kill�the�lights.

Hey,�Chickadee? Do�you�guys�mind?

I'm�in�the�middle�of�a�Q&A.

Yeah,�yeah,�one�sec,�one�sec. Did�you�get�the�supplies?

I�got�enough�glue

to�stick�together every�house�in�Grouse�Lake.

Yes.

Uh,�you�good,�babe?

I�can't�record with�all�the�noise.

Oh�shit,�that's�my�bad, but�it's�gonna�be�so�worth�it.

Fucking�with�Lips?

Totally.

Are�you�done�with your�little�video?

You�should�come�with�us.

I�really�have a�lot�of�work�to�do.

Come�on. I've�seen�you�at�your�work.

Come�see�what�I�do.

But�I�have�to�get�this�done.

I�put�out�new�content every�Thursday.

What's�the�rush? It's�only�Monday.

(snickering)

Tell�him�to�back�off.

Don't�listen�to�him,�Leon.

Just�give�me�time�to�think.

We�don't�need�to�resort to�violence.�Right,�Leon?

-�I�guess. -�Evil�Leon:�Oh.

"We�don't�need�to resort�to�violence.'

You�scared,�you�little�ween?

Cousin�Leon:�Shut�up.

I�just�can't�think.

He's�right. It's�pointless�to�fight.

Let's�bury�the�hatchet, for�Cousin�Leon's�sake.

Bring�it�in.

Oh,�that's�more�like- (groaning)

(groaning)

-�Had�enough�yet? -�(groaning)

-�Say�uncle! -�Uncle!

I�thought�he'd�never�leave.

Now,�we�can�get some�real�work�done.

Paul:�Come�on.

(machine�chiming�musically)

-�(machines�chiming�musically) -�Wow,�wow,�wow.

Couldn't�help�but�notice you�two�from�across�the�room.

Thanks,�man.

You�look�like a�couple�of�sweet�bros.

Of�course�we�are.

Allow�me to�introduce�myself.

I'm�Esquire Esquire,�the�First.

Wow,�a�name�so�nice, they�gave�it�to�you�twice.

No,�man,�he's�one�of those�fancy�horse�jumpers.

I�thought�you�guys were�all�short.

Nah,�you're�thinking of�a�jockey,�bro.

Oh,�a�jockey, like�for�your�nuts.

-�Yeah. -�Does�that�pay�well?

(chuckling) Yes.

Look�at�you�two. Such�playful�bro-isms.

So�lively�and�magnetic.

I�was�drawn�to�you.

You...�were?

You�see,�I�spent�so�much of�my�time�amassing�my�fortune

that�I've�never�had�time for�a�bro�of�my�own.

Fortune,�eh?

I�don't�want�to get�into�numbers,

but�let's�just�say�it's...

thousands�of�dollars.

Wow,�a�real�thousandaire.

That's�a�nice best�bro�you�got�there.

Real�nice.

-�Yeah,�we're�also�best�cousins. -�(Esquire�clearing�throat)

I�have�a�proposal�for�you.

I'm�listening.

What�if�I�offered�$1,500�to hang�with�your�bro�for�the�day?

Here's�a�pretty�sweet�hang.

Hey,�you're�not�some kind�of�bro-vert,�are�you?

I�just�want�a�good�hang. Nothing�weird.

And�if�I�have�to grease�the�wheels�for�that,

I�have�the�means.

Well,�I'm�not�some sort�of�piece�of�meat

that�you�can�sell�or buy�for�a�quick�hang,�man.

Yeah,�there's nothing�meaty�about�him,

except�for�those�sweet�cheeks.

And�these�sweet�cheeks�only has�room�for�one�best�friend,

and�he�also�happens to�be�my�cousin.

Yeah.

-�So,�what's�the�prank? -�It's�epic.

This�might�just�be my�Michelangelo.

You�mean�Sistine�Chapel.

Nah,�babe. The�Ninja�Turtle.

He�was�funny�as�shit.

-�I�kind�of�want�pizza�now. -�Chickadee:�Okay.

Shh.�Shh.

(phone�beeping)

(phone�ringing)

-�(phone�ringing) -�(exhaling�sharply)

Holy�heck.

-�(snickering) -�(phone�ringing)

-�(phone�ringing) -�Everything's�glued�down.

Everything's�glued�down.

-�(phone�ringing) -�Cool.

(phone�ringing)

What�the...?

Who's�doing�that?!

(all�laughing)

I'm�coming�out�there.

What's�on�my�arse? Hey!�I'll�get�you�kids!

-�Here's�your�dry�nachos. -�Man,�I�can't�believe

that�thousandaire�tried�to�give me�1,500�bucks�for�my�bro�time.

-�I�feel�gross. -�Dean:�Yeah,�man.

But�you�know,

there's�probably�some�deadly perks�to�that�kind�of�scratch.

How�dare�you�try�to sell�off�my�bro-dom�like�that!

Think�of�all�the�VLTs�we�could lose�with�that�kind�of�money.

I�am�getting�sick of�eating�dry�nachos.

We�can�get�the supreme�ones�with�cheese.

Man,�those�are�for only�sultans�and�kings!

I'm�just�saying,�man,

it's�one�day, we�could�split�the�cash.

Why�are�we�splitting�the�cash

when�I'm�doing all�the�hanging�out?

Because�you're�my�bro and�he�asked�me.

This�is�free�money,�bro.

Fine!�All�right!�I'll�do�it.

Where�is�this�bro-vert�anyway?

-�I'm�right�here. -�Thousandaire.

This�is�for�you. You�made�the�right�choice.

Dean: Be�gentle�with�him,�please.

I�will.

Dr.�Tenderfeather:�Aaniin. I'm�Dr.�Tenderfeather.

Does�your�significant�other prioritize�the�wrong�things?

Waste�their�potential?

Surround�themselves with�loafers?

Borrow�money�because they�ran�out�of�child�tax?

An�eagle�cannot�soar

with�the�weight�of a�mooch�on�their�back.

In�this�eight-part�series,

we'll�use�the seven�sacred�teachings

to�determine if�you�are�dating�a�loser.

Hey,�babe,�what�you�watching?

(video�music�stopping)

Hey,�uh,�what�do�you want�for�dinner?

Oh,�I�can't�eat.�I'm�working�on a�big�art�project.

Uh,�the�paint�might�have�fumes, so�maybe�you�want�to�head�out

for�a�couple�hours, so�you�don't�get�dizzy.

Art�project?�That's�great.

Yeah,�yeah,�no�problem.�Hey,

it's�great�that�you're putting�your�energy

towards�something other�than�pranking�Lips.

Oh.�Oh,�do�you�think I�could�borrow�a�few�bucks?

The�paints are�kind�of�expensive,

and�I�ran�out�of�child�tax.

Child�tax?

How�do�you�still�get child�tax�in�your�20s?

The�government gives�it�to�my�mom

and�she�gives�it to�her�best�girl.

I�don't�think�that's how�child�tax�works.

It�is.�Trust�me.

Can't�wait�to�see what�you�come�up�with.

Yeah,�man.�I�can't�wait�to see�the�look�on�Lips'�face.

All�right, what�do�you�want�to�do�first?

The�floods�or�the�bears?

I�kind�of�want to�fuck�with�people.

I�like�it.�Start�slow.

Grouse�Lakers never�liked�you�anyways.

Blue:�Aaniin.

Just�one�for�today. Doc�says�I�have�to�cut�back.

Is�that�all�the�doctor�said?

Yeah.�Why?

Because�you�smell like�buttholes�and�wet�onions.

I'm�never�coming�here�again!

-�That's�right. -�(door�closing)

These�are�the�same�people that�BCR'd�you.�And�for�what?

Yeah,�right?

A�couple�of�bad�cheques and�some�upper�deckers.

If�the�health�centre can't�take�a�joke,

then�why�say�laughter is�the�best�medicine?

(laughing)

(both�laughing)

?�Don't�need no�halo�in�heaven�?

?�Just�bring�a�basket for�the�wings�?

?�We�got�hot�dogs and�old�Jim�Beam�?

?�A�Spanish�pipe�dream on�the�box�?

(Grouse�Lakers�laughing)

Lips:�What's�so�funny?

Hilda:�You! We're�laughing�at�you!

(all�laughing)

Stop�laughing. Everyone,�stop�laughing!

Calm�your�jeet�seat, Boston�Butt.

We're�laughing�at�your�hams.

Lips:�Who�did�this? Tell�me�who�did�this

or�you're�all�BCR'd!

Lips�are�sealed,�Lips.

I�ain't�no�snitch.

(laughing)

Chickadee.

Paul:�Ahh...

I�know�it's early�on�in�our�bro-hood,

but�when�you�know... you�know.

Is�that�what�I�think�it�is?

It's�like a�best�friend's�locket,

but�it�beads�us together...�forever.

It's�so�beautiful.

I'm�gonna level�with�you,�bro.

I'm�looking�for a�full-time�best�bro.

Esquire, this�is�all�so�sudden.

It�seems�that�way, but�I'm�tired�of�ordering

the�bro-sized bucket�of�chicken,

just�so�the�delivery�guy thinks�I�have�a�friend.

That's�no�way�to�live.

I�have�a�one-car�garage

and�an�inflatable�pool�just waiting�to�be�bro-ed�out�in.

Do�you�have�lots�of pop�at�your�house?

Name-brand�pop, all�you�can�drink.

Hmph.�Dean�has�lots�of�pop,

but�there�are�no�name brands�at�Yeah�Man's.

They�always�leave a�funny�taste�in�my�mouth.

Dean?

The�same�Dean�who sold�you�for�15�hundo?

You're�worth at�least�$200�more.�At�least!

Yeah.�He's�probably�sitting�by himself�at�some�seafood�buffet.

Hpmh!

That's�what�I'm�saying.

And�I�don't�want to�brag�or�anything,�but,�uh,

I�also�lease�a�certified pre-owned�Kia�Sorento.

All-wheel�drive?

Is�there�any�other�kind?

(Esquire�laughing)

Listen,�pal,�unless�you�got money�or�a�cousin,

you�gotta�get�out�of�here.

(knocking)

-�Serena:�Come�in. -�(door�opening)

-�Is�Chickadee�home? -�Uh...

Police�business. I'll�be�quick.

Is�this�about�the�pants?

Kind�of,�yeah.

Ooh.�Sorry.

I�don't�know where�Chickadee�is.

What's�this�about?

Warning,�ma'am. What�I'm�about�to�show�you

is�a�little�disturbing.

You�think�Chickadee�did�this?

It�has�her�name�on�it,�yeah.

You�sure�that�isn't�the Chickadee�from�Sagkeeng?

Very�sure.

It's,�like,�actually�good.

The�brush�strokes�are... hauntingly�beautiful.

Beautiful,�but�evil.

-�This�needs�to�stop. -�I'm�sure�Chickadee's�sorry.

Sorry�about�the�time she�stole�my�cruiser?

Made�counterfeit lottery�tickets?

Reverse�moo'd�some�toilets?

Catfishing�me�into�believing

I�was�going�to�be�a backup�dancer�for�Shania�Twain?

She-�she�did�all�that?

That's�just the�light�stuff.

Oh.

Chickadee: Oh,�hey.

So,�what's�with�the�bags?

I�don't�think�you're�ready for�a�serious�relationship.

Whatever.�This�is�just�a�fight. Couples�fight,�remember?

No.�This�is�a�breakup.

You�just�can't�see�that you're�a�brilliant�artist,

and�it�hurts�to watch�you�waste�your�talents.

But�I�can�make�other�paintings of�Lips.�Or�other�shit.

I�tried�to�be�cool about�all�the�pranks,�but...

it's�just�not�me.

And...

it's�not�fair�of�me to�ask�you�to�change.

I'm�not�just�into�pranks. I�got�lots�else�going�on.

Really?

Goodbye,�Chickadee.

(door�opening,�closing)

All�right,�if�we�leave�now,

we�can�beat�traffic�and�still catch�comedian�Kris�Kazlauskis.

Cool.�He's�Manitoba's 18th�most�popular�comedian.

I�just�gotta�call�PJ

and�make�sure�they put�him�down�for�a�nap.

Who's�that,�your�dog?

No,�Paul�Junior.

You�know,�Lil'�PJ. PJ�the�DJ.�Lil'�Peej.

Whoa,�whoa,�whoa,�whoa,�whoa.

You�never�said�anything about�having�a�kid.

You�never�asked�me.

So,�say�we're bro'ing�down�hard,

You're�telling�me�there's a�baby�just�crawling�around?

Yeah,�but�he's�a�baby�bro.

Do�you�really�think that�I've�amassed

literally thousands�of�dollars

by�wasting my�time�with�babies?

So,�you're�saying we�can't�bro�down

because�I�have�a�baby�bro,�bro?

Yeah,�that's�what�I'm�saying.

Well,�guess�what? We�were�never�really�bros...

to�begin�with.

Oh...�Oh,�you're turning�your�back�on�me?!

Esquire,�Esquire,�the�First?!

You'll�never�find�another bro�like�me!�Good�luck!

What�are you�all�looking�at?!

I�could�buy this�whole�place...

for�half�an�hour if�I�wanted�to!

(groaning)

Why?!

It's�a�solid�machine. We�could�sell�it�easily.

Dean�won't�need�one�when they're�out�of�business.

Not�so�fast.

Good�Leon?

But�I�wedgied�you to�smithereens.

So�you�thought. But�guess�what?

Good�always�wins...

except�for�most�of�history.

Well,�there�was... No,�you're�right.

Kind�of�sad,�really,

and�that's�coming�from a�real�prick�like�me.

Deep�down, Leon�wants�to�be�good.

-�Is�that�true? -�Well,�if�it�wasn't...

would�it�be�noogie�time?

Get�him!

It's�noogie�time!

(groaning)

Say�auntie!

Auntie!

Now,�put�the�store�back�together again�before�Dean�gets�back.

-�You�got�it. -�And�for�frig's�sakes,

put�the�ayii�in�the�ayii, like�you�promised.

Maybe�true�ayii�is�the�friends we�made�along�the�way.

No,�that's�stupid. Just�put�the�ayii�in�the�ayii.

What�are�you�doing�back?

-�Hey,�Dean. -�Oh,�what's�the�matter?

Got�tired�of�all that�brand-name�pop?

I'm�sorry�I�can�only afford�Sprit�and�Kookum�Cola.

Look,�man, we�both�made�that�deal.

But�at�the�end�of�the�day,

you're�still my�number�one�bro,�man.

So...�I'm�the�better�bro?

The�best.

Look�what�I�got�you.

A�medallion?!�For�me?!

Yeah.�You�wear�one�half, and�I'll�wear�the�other.

Oh!

Now,�let's�go�get�some�nachos.

Whoa! With�quadruple�cheese?

The�supreme,�baby!

Yeah!

(rustling)

Hey,�you,�uh, got�any�baby�wipes?

Hey,�you�guys�are�back!

I�can't�believe�Cousin�Leon

didn't�sell everything�out�the�back!

Yeah,�good�job,�bro. He�even�dusted�the...

Wait�a�second!

You�didn't�put the�ayii�in�the�ayii?

I�thought�I�did!

-�Paul:�Unreal! -�Dean:�It's�not�that�hard.

Ayii�straight�into�the�ayii.

Paul: A�baby�could�do�it!

Man,�I'm�so�mad�right�now!

You�had�one�job!

?�Every�time�I�hear�a�song�?

?�I�always�wonder�who�?

?�What�grown-up they're�singing�about�?

?�And�all�their�troubles,�too�?

?�But�are�they�all just�make�believe?�?

?�Just�like�the�grown-up�world�?

?�But�me, I'm�just�in�high�school�?

?�And�my�mind�is�in�a�whirl�?

?�Over�her�?

?�I�like�her�pretty�smile�?

?�The�thought�of�her�?

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