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This just in, we are getting reports of
a new viral outbreak.
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This new virus is being called porn
sickness. The first real porn
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addict with a physical dependence.
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You're already so far gone.
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Porn sickness will be everywhere.
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One clip will never be enough.
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Breaking news. This just in. We are
getting reports of a new viral outbreak.
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Apparently, this new virus is being
called porn sickness and appears
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to only be affecting men.
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As of now, we have very little
information about this disease.
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As I said, it appears to only be
affecting men. We have patient zero in
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He is currently undergoing some testing
and will be quarantined for the
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foreseeable future.
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Unfortunately, at this time, it does not
appear that we know where this virus
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stemmed from or what the cure might be.
We have patient zero, but we are unsure
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if this virus has spread to anyone else.
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So as I said.
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It appears for now that this virus is
only affecting men. So women, please
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your men inside. Please monitor their
media consumption because we do not know
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for sure where this virus is coming
from, but there are some scientists who
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theorizing that this porn sickness may
have actually come from consumption of
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porn and other adult content.
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Now, I know that as a society, we've
seen a massive uptick in porn
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in the last few years, but this is
unprecedented.
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We never thought that we would see an
actual porn outbreak from this kind of
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thing. I mean, this is absolutely
insane.
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I can't believe this just came across my
desk.
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They're running all types of tests on
patient zero right now, but none of them
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are giving clear answers. The symptoms
seem to be all over the place. The main
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takeaway seems to be that his body
appears to be shutting down if he's not
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continuously jerking off.
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I mean, this is just, it sounds like
something out of a fantasy or out of a
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porno or something.
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At this point, we're not sure what to do
to keep our community safe, so we are
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advising that you try to keep your men
at home as much as possible.
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Women, please do not allow your men to
go out unmonitored. Do not allow them to
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be on social media or watching TV or
any...
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internet access that is not going to be
monitored by you.
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Because we don't want this thing
spreading. This seems like a very, very
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disease. And, you know, we've already
had to go through a global shutdown.
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already had a massive viral outbreak. We
cannot handle another one, especially
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not one like this. Not a porn sickness.
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I mean, this is lunacy.
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I'm sure we'll be getting some more
details soon, but for now, please do
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everything that we can to keep our
communities and our men safe.
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Porn has always been destructive in our
society, but this is taking it to a
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whole new level, and I don't think
anyone could have predicted this.
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I'm also getting updates that Patient
Zero was on a plane.
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before he fell ill the week before.
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So, unfortunately, it's possible that
all the men on that plane are infected.
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At this point, we don't know how it
spreads. We're not sure if it spreads by
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air, by media consumption, possibly
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by ejaculation.
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It's really unclear.
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And it's also unclear if it may start
affecting women.
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The best thing to do right now to keep
you and your family safe is to stay
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Stay home, watch positive, healthy,
wholesome things. If you're going to
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any media, keep your windows shut and
just do
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the best you can to make sure that this
virus does not end up like the last one.
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We really can't have this thing getting
out of control. I mean, can you imagine
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what the world would look like if we had
to do a total world shutdown because of
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porn and all of our men became
handicapped because of this and were
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any of their roles in society?
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Can you imagine what this world would
look like?
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It's stressful to even think about.
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I know this isn't the kind of news that
we usually broadcast or the kind of news
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that you would like to tune into, but it
is important that everybody becomes
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aware of this new porn sickness that's
taking over.
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It appears that men in general have been
consuming so much more pornographic
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content on TikTok, on Instagram, on
YouTube, on X.
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There seems to be no end.
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To where this porn is coming from and it
is making them very, very sick.
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It's causing massive problems.
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Massive erectile dysfunction problems.
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The man that they're calling patient
zero has apparently been unable to stop
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jerking off for over two weeks.
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And when he stopped, his heart rate
drops dramatically.
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His systems start to shut down until he
resumes pumping.
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I mean, that is terrifying to think
about. To think that this man may
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be the first real porn addict with a
physical dependence on porn.
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And because we've never seen anything
like this, because porn addiction has
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never really even been considered a real
addiction, it's very difficult to...
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know when we'll have a cure or if we
will have a cure for this kind of thing.
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think psychologists and scientists alike
all over the world are baffled by this
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phenomenon.
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Again, please do everything in your
power to keep yourself and your families
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safe.
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That means quarantine yourself and be
very, very cautious about
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media consumption because
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It could come from anywhere.
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Anywhere could make you sick.
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Anyone could be spreading this sickness
without even realizing
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it.
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It can be so hard to understand
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how these types of diseases start.
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and how they choose who to affect.
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But we do know that they are causing
hallucinations,
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bodily dysfunction.
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If you or anyone else that you know may
be affected by this porn sickness,
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Please keep pumping.
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Keep pumping even harder.
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Keep pumping even more.
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You're going to be so sick.
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You're going to be so porn sick for me.
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If you find yourself having any of these
symptoms or any strange sexual
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hallucinations, please contact
authorities immediately.
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We really don't want this disease
spreading. It's too late.
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You're already so far gone.
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Porn sickness will be everywhere.
9578
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