Original subtitles

This just in, we are getting reports of a new viral outbreak.

This new virus is being called porn sickness. The first real porn

addict with a physical dependence.

You're already so far gone.

Porn sickness will be everywhere.

One clip will never be enough.

Breaking news. This just in. We are getting reports of a new viral outbreak.

Apparently, this new virus is being called porn sickness and appears

to only be affecting men.

As of now, we have very little information about this disease.

As I said, it appears to only be affecting men. We have patient zero in

He is currently undergoing some testing and will be quarantined for the

foreseeable future.

Unfortunately, at this time, it does not appear that we know where this virus

stemmed from or what the cure might be. We have patient zero, but we are unsure

if this virus has spread to anyone else.

So as I said.

It appears for now that this virus is only affecting men. So women, please

your men inside. Please monitor their media consumption because we do not know

for sure where this virus is coming from, but there are some scientists who

theorizing that this porn sickness may have actually come from consumption of

porn and other adult content.

Now, I know that as a society, we've seen a massive uptick in porn

in the last few years, but this is unprecedented.

We never thought that we would see an actual porn outbreak from this kind of

thing. I mean, this is absolutely insane.

I can't believe this just came across my desk.

They're running all types of tests on patient zero right now, but none of them

are giving clear answers. The symptoms seem to be all over the place. The main

takeaway seems to be that his body appears to be shutting down if he's not

continuously jerking off.

I mean, this is just, it sounds like something out of a fantasy or out of a

porno or something.

At this point, we're not sure what to do to keep our community safe, so we are

advising that you try to keep your men at home as much as possible.

Women, please do not allow your men to go out unmonitored. Do not allow them to

be on social media or watching TV or any...

internet access that is not going to be monitored by you.

Because we don't want this thing spreading. This seems like a very, very

disease. And, you know, we've already had to go through a global shutdown.

already had a massive viral outbreak. We cannot handle another one, especially

not one like this. Not a porn sickness.

I mean, this is lunacy.

I'm sure we'll be getting some more details soon, but for now, please do

everything that we can to keep our communities and our men safe.

Porn has always been destructive in our society, but this is taking it to a

whole new level, and I don't think anyone could have predicted this.

I'm also getting updates that Patient Zero was on a plane.

before he fell ill the week before.

So, unfortunately, it's possible that all the men on that plane are infected.

At this point, we don't know how it spreads. We're not sure if it spreads by

air, by media consumption, possibly

by ejaculation.

It's really unclear.

And it's also unclear if it may start affecting women.

The best thing to do right now to keep you and your family safe is to stay

Stay home, watch positive, healthy, wholesome things. If you're going to

any media, keep your windows shut and just do

the best you can to make sure that this virus does not end up like the last one.

We really can't have this thing getting out of control. I mean, can you imagine

what the world would look like if we had to do a total world shutdown because of

porn and all of our men became handicapped because of this and were

any of their roles in society?

Can you imagine what this world would look like?

It's stressful to even think about.

I know this isn't the kind of news that we usually broadcast or the kind of news

that you would like to tune into, but it is important that everybody becomes

aware of this new porn sickness that's taking over.

It appears that men in general have been consuming so much more pornographic

content on TikTok, on Instagram, on YouTube, on X.

There seems to be no end.

To where this porn is coming from and it is making them very, very sick.

It's causing massive problems.

Massive erectile dysfunction problems.

The man that they're calling patient zero has apparently been unable to stop

jerking off for over two weeks.

And when he stopped, his heart rate drops dramatically.

His systems start to shut down until he resumes pumping.

I mean, that is terrifying to think about. To think that this man may

be the first real porn addict with a physical dependence on porn.

And because we've never seen anything like this, because porn addiction has

never really even been considered a real addiction, it's very difficult to...

know when we'll have a cure or if we will have a cure for this kind of thing.

think psychologists and scientists alike all over the world are baffled by this

phenomenon.

Again, please do everything in your power to keep yourself and your families

safe.

That means quarantine yourself and be very, very cautious about

media consumption because

It could come from anywhere.

Anywhere could make you sick.

Anyone could be spreading this sickness without even realizing

it.

It can be so hard to understand

how these types of diseases start.

and how they choose who to affect.

But we do know that they are causing hallucinations,

bodily dysfunction.

If you or anyone else that you know may be affected by this porn sickness,

Please keep pumping.

Keep pumping even harder.

Keep pumping even more.

You're going to be so sick.

You're going to be so porn sick for me.

If you find yourself having any of these symptoms or any strange sexual

hallucinations, please contact authorities immediately.

We really don't want this disease spreading. It's too late.

You're already so far gone.

Porn sickness will be everywhere.