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00:00:02,234 --> 00:00:05,137
[ Theme music plays ]
2
00:00:05,204 --> 00:00:06,405
[ Laughs ]
3
00:00:06,472 --> 00:00:11,777
♪♪
4
00:00:11,844 --> 00:00:17,116
♪♪
5
00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:19,051
Man: It's alive!
6
00:00:19,118 --> 00:00:26,118
♪♪
7
00:00:27,526 --> 00:00:28,594
[ Laughs ]
8
00:00:28,661 --> 00:00:33,933
♪♪
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00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:35,968
[ Laughs ]
10
00:00:38,037 --> 00:00:41,140
[ Laughs ] Where are your red
balloons? I'm running low.
11
00:00:41,207 --> 00:00:42,975
We're out of red balloons,
actually,
12
00:00:43,041 --> 00:00:45,979
but we have
these balloons.
13
00:00:46,045 --> 00:00:47,047
I'll make it work.
14
00:00:47,413 --> 00:00:49,315
[ Both grunting ]
15
00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:50,950
♪♪
16
00:00:51,017 --> 00:00:52,852
Stupid living skeletons.
17
00:00:52,918 --> 00:00:54,586
What's even
holding you guys up?
18
00:00:54,653 --> 00:00:56,622
My bones
are holding me up.
19
00:00:56,689 --> 00:00:59,258
Bones are connected
by ligaments and tendons.
20
00:00:59,324 --> 00:01:00,793
I guess I don't get
what you're asking.
21
00:01:00,860 --> 00:01:02,695
Oh, listen.
This is your ulna.
22
00:01:02,761 --> 00:01:05,264
This is your radius.
This is your humerus.
23
00:01:05,331 --> 00:01:07,666
Therefore, if I cut away
your ulna and radius
24
00:01:07,733 --> 00:01:09,201
from the humerus
with my sword,
25
00:01:09,268 --> 00:01:11,536
like so...
What?! Dude!
26
00:01:11,603 --> 00:01:13,238
...am I
even cutting through?
27
00:01:13,305 --> 00:01:15,273
It's a containment field
that binds us together.
28
00:01:15,340 --> 00:01:17,042
Where'd you hear that?
We all got a pamphlet
29
00:01:17,109 --> 00:01:18,677
when they formed us
from the Hydra's teeth.
30
00:01:18,744 --> 00:01:22,581
And you read this pamphlet
with no eyes?
31
00:01:22,647 --> 00:01:25,351
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You just blew my mind.
32
00:01:25,417 --> 00:01:27,953
[ Gasps ] We don't have minds!
We don't have minds!
33
00:01:28,020 --> 00:01:30,155
See? It's bananas
from start to finish.
34
00:01:30,222 --> 00:01:32,425
I'm flipping out, man.
I'm flipping the fuck out.
35
00:01:32,491 --> 00:01:33,458
I'm scared, man.
36
00:01:33,525 --> 00:01:34,961
Hold me tight.
I'm scared, too.
37
00:01:35,027 --> 00:01:36,863
I'm just gonna leave you
to this.
38
00:01:37,229 --> 00:01:38,564
♪ Tattoo, tattoo ♪
39
00:01:38,631 --> 00:01:40,866
My Maui demigod powers
will be unmatched
40
00:01:40,933 --> 00:01:44,303
once I have the sea
tattooed across my back.
41
00:01:44,370 --> 00:01:46,038
Uh-huh.
42
00:01:46,105 --> 00:01:47,840
And now a sneak peek at
43
00:01:47,907 --> 00:01:50,377
the gender-flipped reboot
of "Splash."
44
00:01:53,212 --> 00:01:56,148
Well, I'm certainly...hooked.
45
00:01:56,215 --> 00:01:59,018
I wish the Cat in the Hat
were here.
Me too.
46
00:01:59,085 --> 00:02:01,187
As you wish.
47
00:02:01,254 --> 00:02:02,521
I take it back.
What?
48
00:02:02,588 --> 00:02:04,589
I'm experimenting
with my look.
49
00:02:04,656 --> 00:02:07,425
You look like a reply guy
with a ska band.
What's a ska band?
50
00:02:07,492 --> 00:02:10,128
You look like a Reddit user
with a podcast.
Redditor...
51
00:02:10,195 --> 00:02:11,630
You look like a guy
who watches
52
00:02:11,697 --> 00:02:14,033
Little League games
through binoculars.
I hate sports!
53
00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:15,601
You look like a guy
who sleeps
54
00:02:15,668 --> 00:02:16,769
in the supply closet
of a GameStop.
55
00:02:16,836 --> 00:02:19,305
You look like
Sugar Ray's tour manager.
56
00:02:19,372 --> 00:02:21,809
I manage the shit out
of Sugar Ray.
57
00:02:23,376 --> 00:02:25,544
If we're gonna find the ghost
that's haunting this old
58
00:02:25,611 --> 00:02:27,546
rock 'n' roll venue,
we need to split up.
59
00:02:27,613 --> 00:02:29,181
Daphne and I
will go this way.
60
00:02:29,248 --> 00:02:31,084
And, like, Scoob
and I will go this way.
61
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,051
Ha ha!
62
00:02:33,118 --> 00:02:36,122
Oh. So the ugly one's left alone
to be murder bait again.
63
00:02:36,189 --> 00:02:38,391
Awesome, guys.
64
00:02:38,458 --> 00:02:40,326
Ohh!
[ Laughs evilly ]
65
00:02:40,393 --> 00:02:41,994
You're trespassing
in the home
66
00:02:42,061 --> 00:02:44,129
of the
Diabolical Disc Demon.
67
00:02:44,196 --> 00:02:45,497
Prepare to be --
68
00:02:45,564 --> 00:02:46,865
Oh, fuck! Shit!
69
00:02:46,932 --> 00:02:49,368
Let me guess.
You're a middle-aged white guy
70
00:02:49,435 --> 00:02:50,969
posing as a phantom rock star
71
00:02:51,036 --> 00:02:52,871
in order to scare
some record producers
72
00:02:52,938 --> 00:02:54,974
out of their royalties.
Well, when you summarize it,
73
00:02:55,041 --> 00:02:56,508
I sound like
a fucking dork.
74
00:02:56,575 --> 00:02:58,878
I'm going home to put my head
inside a box of wine.
75
00:02:58,945 --> 00:03:01,381
You know,
I like boxed wine.
76
00:03:01,448 --> 00:03:02,681
Ohh!
77
00:03:02,748 --> 00:03:04,450
Oh, yeah!
Ow! I'm taking your vagina
78
00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:06,585
straight to the top
of the charts, baby.
79
00:03:06,652 --> 00:03:08,354
Should I --
Should I take the mask off?
80
00:03:08,421 --> 00:03:09,689
No! Leave it on!
81
00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:11,923
It stays.
Why break the mystery?
82
00:03:11,990 --> 00:03:14,193
Velma: The Scooby gang never
caught another villain,
83
00:03:14,260 --> 00:03:15,594
but I caught them all...
84
00:03:15,661 --> 00:03:17,863
plus herpes
from the Miner 49er.
85
00:03:17,930 --> 00:03:20,666
The Scooby gang's Yelp reviews
fell to zero stars.
86
00:03:20,733 --> 00:03:22,200
Revenge was mine.
87
00:03:22,267 --> 00:03:23,702
Velma,
can I tell you a secret?
88
00:03:23,769 --> 00:03:27,973
Last time we all split up,
Fred and I made out.
89
00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:31,078
Oh, Daphne, you're so bad.
90
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,446
♪♪
91
00:03:33,512 --> 00:03:34,480
Give me the child.
92
00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:36,381
Let me rule over you, Sarah,
93
00:03:36,448 --> 00:03:38,650
and you'll receive
everything a girl
94
00:03:38,717 --> 00:03:42,988
could want. Love me,
and I'll forever be your slave.
95
00:03:43,055 --> 00:03:46,258
Dude, I'm 16.
You are so canceled.
96
00:03:46,325 --> 00:03:47,626
Canceled?! Now,
97
00:03:47,693 --> 00:03:49,561
let's not blow this
out of proportion.
98
00:03:49,628 --> 00:03:51,597
I mean,
we both made mistakes.
99
00:03:51,664 --> 00:03:54,099
You,
you wished your brother away.
100
00:03:54,166 --> 00:03:55,467
Yeah.
I'm a moody teen.
101
00:03:55,534 --> 00:03:58,203
You're an adult man
gyrating in spandex,
102
00:03:58,270 --> 00:03:59,938
saying
you want to be my slave.
103
00:04:00,005 --> 00:04:02,508
What's next? You gonna ask
for a picture of my feet?
104
00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:04,709
You're so gross.
I'm an eternal being.
105
00:04:04,776 --> 00:04:07,479
It's not sexual for me.
Look into the crystal.
106
00:04:07,546 --> 00:04:09,981
You'll see a perfectly
reasonable explanation.
107
00:04:10,048 --> 00:04:12,751
Oh, my God. And the magic
tricks you're always doing.
108
00:04:12,818 --> 00:04:15,454
No way you learned those
to impress adult women.
109
00:04:15,521 --> 00:04:18,424
Wait, is that why you stopped
time? So girls like me
110
00:04:18,491 --> 00:04:19,926
will never turn 18?
111
00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:21,093
Well,
now you're just twisting
112
00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:22,662
everything
to make it seem worse.
113
00:04:22,729 --> 00:04:24,763
Oh, my God!
114
00:04:24,829 --> 00:04:27,799
Just wait until
I post about this on Twitter.
115
00:04:27,866 --> 00:04:29,568
Wait, Sarah. Come on now.
I'm begging you.
116
00:04:29,635 --> 00:04:32,838
These goblins depend on me.
I have a career as a king.
117
00:04:32,905 --> 00:04:36,175
Yeah. We haven't even
covered the power imbalance.
118
00:04:36,242 --> 00:04:39,544
You're a monarch,
and I'm a babysitter.
119
00:04:39,611 --> 00:04:41,848
I remember. [ Gasps ]
I remember the words!
120
00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:44,050
#MeToo!
121
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,586
Ruinous response!
122
00:04:47,286 --> 00:04:49,522
Ooh!
This mattress is just right.
123
00:04:49,589 --> 00:04:52,024
It's not too big,
it's not too small.
124
00:04:52,091 --> 00:04:54,294
Get out of my store,
you freak.
125
00:04:54,661 --> 00:04:57,163
[ Slow music plays ]
126
00:04:57,230 --> 00:04:59,231
Dude. I can't believe
your dad volunteered
127
00:04:59,298 --> 00:05:01,166
to chaperon the dance.
Ugh!
128
00:05:01,233 --> 00:05:03,168
I know.
So embarrassing.
129
00:05:03,235 --> 00:05:05,437
Hi, son.
Holy shit, dude.
130
00:05:05,504 --> 00:05:06,639
Pig Boy's here.
131
00:05:06,706 --> 00:05:08,441
-Pig Boy's here!
-He's right there!
132
00:05:08,508 --> 00:05:09,809
[ Squeals ]
133
00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:11,477
Young man: Pig Boy!
[ Snorting ]
134
00:05:11,544 --> 00:05:13,779
Gah!
Pig Boy is so cool.
135
00:05:13,846 --> 00:05:15,547
Oh-ho-ho-ho!
136
00:05:15,614 --> 00:05:18,817
Dude! Pig Boy's
eating your dad's pants.
137
00:05:18,884 --> 00:05:21,287
Okay, now, please -- Hey,
please stop chewing.
138
00:05:21,354 --> 00:05:22,721
Oh, my God!
139
00:05:22,788 --> 00:05:24,823
Pig Boy, the most
popular boy in school,
140
00:05:24,890 --> 00:05:27,959
is eating my dad's pants.
So cool!
141
00:05:28,026 --> 00:05:32,131
Hey, Logan, is that your dad
being chased around by Pig Boy?
142
00:05:32,198 --> 00:05:33,632
No, Pig Boy, stop.
143
00:05:33,699 --> 00:05:35,568
Please, someone help me.
144
00:05:35,635 --> 00:05:37,469
Uhh...yeah.
145
00:05:37,536 --> 00:05:39,638
Wow.
You must be really cool,
146
00:05:39,705 --> 00:05:41,541
if Pig Boy is chasing
your dad around.
147
00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:43,942
Oh, you're crushing it,
dude!
148
00:05:44,009 --> 00:05:46,778
Young man: Hey, is that your dad
getting eaten by Pig Boy?
149
00:05:46,845 --> 00:05:51,150
Remember me as more
than just this torso.
150
00:05:51,217 --> 00:05:54,453
Pig Boy totally ate your dad!
Awesome.
151
00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:57,156
That makes Logan the second
most popular boy in school,
152
00:05:57,223 --> 00:05:58,657
right behind Pig Boy.
153
00:05:58,724 --> 00:05:59,825
That's the rule.
154
00:05:59,892 --> 00:06:02,461
Together: [ Chanting ]
Logan! Logan! Logan!
155
00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:05,031
[ Choking ]
Logan! Logan! Logan!
156
00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:06,031
Aaahhhh!
157
00:06:06,098 --> 00:06:07,032
Dude, bro,
158
00:06:07,099 --> 00:06:08,834
Pig Boy's
choking on your dad.
159
00:06:08,901 --> 00:06:10,002
[ Record scratching ]
160
00:06:10,069 --> 00:06:12,005
Don't die on me, Pig Boy.
161
00:06:12,072 --> 00:06:13,606
[ Squeals ]
162
00:06:13,673 --> 00:06:14,873
[ Crowd cheering ]
163
00:06:14,940 --> 00:06:16,576
Together: [ Chanting ]
Pig Boy! Pig Boy!
164
00:06:16,643 --> 00:06:17,943
Oh, Pig Boy,
165
00:06:18,010 --> 00:06:19,478
what would we do
without you?
166
00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:20,814
Pig Boy! Pig Boy!
167
00:06:21,213 --> 00:06:24,516
Ah, here I go close
the time loop.
168
00:06:24,583 --> 00:06:27,186
Into the steel.
No!
169
00:06:27,253 --> 00:06:30,722
This is cheese.
Cheese?
170
00:06:30,789 --> 00:06:33,159
Affirmative.
Nacho cheese.
171
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:35,393
-It's actually pretty good.
-Huh?
172
00:06:35,460 --> 00:06:37,830
[ Siren chirps ]
Man: Hey, you kids!
Get out of the cheese!
173
00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:41,401
Oh, no, it's his cheese!
Run!
174
00:06:41,801 --> 00:06:47,372
Hey, if some hooded thug
comes at me, I stand my ground.
175
00:06:47,439 --> 00:06:50,177
You step to me,
you're gonna fucking die.
176
00:06:53,311 --> 00:06:56,583
Um, I'd like to file, like,
80 malpractice suits.
177
00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:00,418
Did I drink too much
beet juice again?
178
00:07:00,485 --> 00:07:04,122
No, Anna.
You're getting your period.
179
00:07:04,189 --> 00:07:07,025
Hello.
I'm Menstrual Care Bear.
180
00:07:07,092 --> 00:07:09,328
I thought Care Bears
brought things like cheer
181
00:07:09,395 --> 00:07:10,763
and birthday wishes.
182
00:07:10,830 --> 00:07:12,631
Oh, we provide
whatever children need
183
00:07:12,698 --> 00:07:13,899
at any particular moment.
184
00:07:13,966 --> 00:07:17,937
Hugs, rainbows,
feminine hygiene products.
185
00:07:18,004 --> 00:07:19,738
Let's go!
186
00:07:19,805 --> 00:07:21,908
Why does this hurt
so much?
187
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:23,242
Uterine cramping.
188
00:07:23,309 --> 00:07:25,410
Of course, the 5 pounds
of Funfetti frosting you
189
00:07:25,477 --> 00:07:27,546
just inhaled like an anteater
to distract
190
00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:30,349
from the pain didn't help.
[ Laughs ]
191
00:07:30,416 --> 00:07:33,018
Here, take some painkillers.
Yay.
192
00:07:33,085 --> 00:07:34,753
[ Grunting ]
Whee!
193
00:07:34,820 --> 00:07:36,021
Whoopsie!
194
00:07:36,088 --> 00:07:39,758
That may have been a bit
over the recommended dosage.
195
00:07:39,825 --> 00:07:42,828
That's supposed
to go up there?!
196
00:07:42,895 --> 00:07:44,563
But don't leave it in
for more than eight hours.
197
00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:47,500
You could get
toxic shock syndrome and die.
198
00:07:47,567 --> 00:07:48,667
I could what?!
199
00:07:48,734 --> 00:07:50,269
Now, you get a running start,
200
00:07:50,336 --> 00:07:52,137
and I'll spear
your vagina.
201
00:07:52,204 --> 00:07:54,773
This is how all girls do it.
Ahhh!
202
00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:57,843
Well, this has been fun,
but don't worry.
203
00:07:57,910 --> 00:08:01,147
I'll be back before
you know it -- in 28 days.
204
00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:02,181
Every month?
205
00:08:02,248 --> 00:08:03,682
This is the worst!
206
00:08:03,749 --> 00:08:08,019
If I don't show up,
you get to meet Natal Care Bear.
207
00:08:08,086 --> 00:08:11,858
Putting in a tampon's way easier
than getting your GED, kid.
208
00:08:11,924 --> 00:08:13,560
Aaaaahhh!
209
00:08:14,026 --> 00:08:16,461
They said it couldn't be done,
but I played "The Sims"
210
00:08:16,528 --> 00:08:19,064
for eight days straight, living
on nothing but Alpine frost,
211
00:08:19,131 --> 00:08:22,535
Mountain Dew, and Adderall,
and I'm doing fi--ine!
212
00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:24,337
[ Snoring ]
213
00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:25,371
[ Yawns ]
214
00:08:25,438 --> 00:08:27,206
[ Speaking foreign language ]
215
00:08:27,273 --> 00:08:29,409
Was that Simlish?
216
00:08:30,108 --> 00:08:34,346
Oh, my God. I've "Jumanji'd"
myself into "The Sims"!
217
00:08:34,413 --> 00:08:36,515
Good morning, sleepyhead.
218
00:08:36,582 --> 00:08:38,917
You're my Sim wife?
219
00:08:38,984 --> 00:08:40,953
Oh, my God! So cool!
220
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:42,120
Want to WooHoo?
221
00:08:42,187 --> 00:08:44,957
I'm sorry.
Do you mean my Woo in your Hoo?
222
00:08:45,024 --> 00:08:46,526
Yes, please.
223
00:08:46,593 --> 00:08:48,327
WooHoo!
224
00:08:48,394 --> 00:08:49,995
Wow, that was amazing!
225
00:08:50,062 --> 00:08:52,331
I didn't even have to
take my clothes off.
226
00:08:52,398 --> 00:08:54,500
Honey,
I think I'm pregnant.
227
00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:56,368
I'm gonna be a dad?
228
00:08:56,435 --> 00:08:58,671
I freaking love
being a Sim!
229
00:08:58,737 --> 00:09:01,373
♪ Being a Sim
is the best kind of life ♪
230
00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:04,209
♪ Just had a baby
with my super-hot wife ♪
231
00:09:04,276 --> 00:09:08,580
♪ Not clear what my job is,
but it pays real good ♪
232
00:09:08,647 --> 00:09:10,883
Check it out.
I bought a spaceship!
233
00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:15,988
♪ And if I run out of money,
I just say "rosebud" ♪
234
00:09:16,055 --> 00:09:17,990
♪ I love being a Sim ♪
235
00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:21,059
[ Deep voice ]
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
236
00:09:21,126 --> 00:09:24,797
Wow, another great day
of being a Sim!
237
00:09:24,864 --> 00:09:26,565
What the...
238
00:09:26,632 --> 00:09:29,201
Oh, God!
It's happening again!
239
00:09:29,268 --> 00:09:30,469
He's getting bored.
240
00:09:30,536 --> 00:09:31,837
Who's getting bored?
241
00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:34,240
The teenage boy
who controls our universe.
242
00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:38,443
Every now and then, he gets
bored, and things go bad.
243
00:09:38,510 --> 00:09:40,412
Hey, he deleted
the bathroom.
244
00:09:40,479 --> 00:09:42,614
He knows that without it,
we'll piss ourselves.
245
00:09:42,681 --> 00:09:44,149
And he thinks
that's funny.
246
00:09:44,216 --> 00:09:45,851
That sick son of a...
247
00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:47,119
[ Sloshing ]
Aw!
248
00:09:47,186 --> 00:09:49,821
You know,
that is kind of funny.
249
00:09:49,888 --> 00:09:53,725
Does it eventually evaporate,
or do we have to clean this?
250
00:09:53,792 --> 00:09:56,629
We have to go. Soon he'll start
dropping people in pools
251
00:09:56,695 --> 00:09:58,599
so they drown.
To the spaceship!
252
00:10:00,833 --> 00:10:02,301
Whee! Ha ha!
Aah!
253
00:10:02,368 --> 00:10:05,304
See you in hell,
mysterious demigod.
254
00:10:05,371 --> 00:10:08,007
Aah!
Oh, no. Aah!
255
00:10:08,074 --> 00:10:11,810
♪♪
256
00:10:11,877 --> 00:10:15,514
[ Gasps ] Oh!
Oh, my God. It was me all along,
257
00:10:15,581 --> 00:10:19,652
I was the bored demigod
torturing those poor Sims.
258
00:10:19,719 --> 00:10:20,886
[ Sniffing ]
259
00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:22,421
Oh, man. And I pissed myself
for real.
260
00:10:22,488 --> 00:10:24,289
Well, this isn't fun at all.
Well, I guess
261
00:10:24,356 --> 00:10:27,759
I'll just take out my anger
on those digital hostages.
262
00:10:27,826 --> 00:10:29,928
They don't really have
feelings after all.
263
00:10:29,995 --> 00:10:30,963
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
264
00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:32,298
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
265
00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:34,299
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
266
00:10:34,366 --> 00:10:35,467
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
267
00:10:35,534 --> 00:10:36,802
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
268
00:10:36,869 --> 00:10:38,637
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
269
00:10:38,704 --> 00:10:39,638
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
270
00:10:39,705 --> 00:10:40,873
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
271
00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:42,775
♪ Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk
wawk bawk bawk ♪
272
00:10:42,842 --> 00:10:44,844
Ba-gawk! Bawk.
273
00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:49,082
Stoopid Monkey.
19634
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