Original subtitles

[ Theme music playing ]

♪♪

♪♪

It's alive!

♪♪

♪♪

[ Roaring ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Roars ] [ Laughs ]

Looks like we're going to get ourselves an --

oh, shit!

Ah, bollocks!

We need a thousand yards of giant chain

to drag that beat out of the drink!

If only I'd anticipated this!

Or did I?!

♪ Night King, I'm the king of the ice town ♪

♪ Learned strategy while studying at Georgetown ♪

♪ I been planning how to knock a big wall down! ♪

-Shh! -♪ Make Jonny Snow's Night's Watch have a meltdown ♪

♪ Don't be doubtin' me, the king of the night ♪

♪ Brought a giant dragon arrow to this fight ♪

♪ And if you think I'd lose that lizard down the drain ♪

♪ It's time you haters meet the guy we call Whitey Two-Chain ♪

♪ Oh, you need chains, son, I got 'em by the mile ♪

♪ Sell chains by the link, I sell 'em by the pile ♪

♪ Whitey Two's been bustin' chains ♪

♪ Since you was eatin' babies ♪

♪ Big chains for the dragons ♪

♪ And gold ones for the ladies ♪

♪ So if you need chains, any place, any time ♪

♪ Call Whitey, triple-5 0-1-69 ♪

Need chains? Call Whitey Two-Chains,

day or night, he's got you covered -- in chains!

-Hey! -I'm on an ice dragon!

Good news, our live action remake of the "Goofy" movie

is a hit; bad news, Disney is officially out of old

animated movies to regurgitate into gold!

"Song of the South"? Oh, no, wait.

That's only partly animated. I'm sorry!

Maybe we could make something original.

Oh, I said the bad thing out loud!

I might have an idea for you.

Walt Disney! You came back!

I was buried under a sea of garbage in the animation vault,

but now I'm free. Larry, I'm going to need you

to gesticulate a little less.

So, look, there is one film in the vault

no one ever talks about --

a bit thin in the narrative department.

But with some tweaks, it'll make a humdinger of a feature.

Come on, Larry, drop me a fatty.

[ Beat-boxing ]

♪ In the early days of Disney ♪

♪ Pioneering cartoon features ♪

♪ I had a cracking vision that made shorties for the teachers ♪

♪ I just loved impartin' wisdom and enhancing education ♪

♪ But the film I loved the most was The Story of Menstruation ♪

♪ We'll tell the tale of a girly who's about to be a lady ♪

♪ And her ovaries are cranky 'cause they wanna make a baby ♪

♪ And her uterus is pushing and her bladder's 'bout to blow ♪

♪ And the villain of our story is her ugly Aunt Flo ♪

Flo: ♪ You'll be gushing blood for days ♪

♪ From your teenage ragamuffin ♪

♪ And the only way to staunch it is my friend here Mr. Stuffin' ♪

Man: Stop, stop, stop! Come on!

I had 10 more minutes of that!

This is no film, Mr. Disney.

It's a franchise!

Green light! Jumping sound!

Can you bring me my coffee, Jamiroquai?

Okay...

Not, not, not. That's not where the coffee is. Not.

You know what? I'll just get it myself.

Butterfly, tree, ladybug, cloud.

Liminal iconography representing human aspirations

divided between the spiritual and the temporal.

Another bird, goldfish.

Hang on, Luke, you can keep warm

by sleeping in this dead tauntaun.

[ Dramatic chord ]

[ Grunting ]

♪♪

Jerry! Oh, Jerry!

The kids and I thought you were dead!

Come on, let's get you home.

Ah, crap.

No, no -- I'm not touching you!

Everyone good with ice rats for dinner?

I've got to get out of here. Stop it, stop it, stop it!

Dad, you promised we'd throw the ball!

[ Grunts ] Ow!

Way to get in front of it, Dad! You're great at baseball.

You promised you'd teach me to dance.

Wow, your moves are both def and fresh!

Dad, you dance like M.C. Hammerhead!

Where do you think you're going?

[ Whispering ] It's Wednesday.

[ Squealing ] [ Grunting ]

Happy birthday!

You're the heart of this family, Jerry.

I don't know where we'd be without you.

It says we love you, Dad!

Blow out the candles, Dad!

Uh... [ Sputtering ]

Yay! We'll go cut you a slice.

Here you are, kid!

I've been tracking you for months.

Let's get out of here.

I used to think my destiny was being a Jedi,

but now I know it's to be a good father

as a man inside of a dead tauntaun body.

[ Stammering ] [ Chuckles nervously ]

Oops.

Well, I'll go next.

I'm actually in ewok who hid in this body

after I crash landed on this planet.

And I am tauntaun,

but I'm in the body of another dead tauntaun.

Oh, then I guess it's time to go.

Oh, my God, that means...

no more responsibilities for Susan!

[ Woman vocalizing ]

[ Somber cello music ]

[ Mugging ]

Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee! Hee-hee--

[ Sobbing ]

Oh, good heavens!

I shouldn't have taken so much melatonin last night!

Wait, where am I?

[ Photographers shouting, goose squawking ]

So, Mr. Kenobi under job experience,

you wrote "influencer."

You know, that's -- that's not a real job, right?

It is a real job. It is a real job.

You want to see some of my bikini pics?

I want to see some of your bikini pics.

Oh, boy! Vacation!

Despite my monotone personality, I too am excited.

Yeah, man, I may be the Grim Reaper,

but sometimes you need an adventure that ain't so grim.

Welcome aboard Malaysia Airlines Flight 370.

We've got nothing but smooth sailing ahead of us.

Me hate them so much.

Are those your kids? They're darling.

No, mon. I'm the Grim Reaper.

They want me as an indentured servant

in a rigged limbo competition.

It's all in the Wikipedia. That's awful.

It's 2014 -- March 8, 2014, to be exact.

And slavery is not cool in 2014, not that it was ever.

It was never cool, guys. Never, ever.

Maybe she's right.

Whoa! Grim?! Grim!

No more "Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy," mon!

[ Screaming ]

♪♪

You're damn right, no bodies were ever found!

Took a vote on the plane and everyone wanted to visit

the island from "Lost"! Grim Reaper magic, mon!

I can make that shit happen.

Happy little trees.

[ Chainsaw droning, tree screams ]

[ Tree screaming, saw whirring ]

Why?!

Happy little trees.

So happy, and if I say it loud enough,

I can't hear their unhappy little screams.

Hey, fuck you! Let's practice cloud smudges

using just our fingers -- happy clouds.

Maxwell, it's so cool you invited us

to your home of Sylvania for spring break.

Plus it means we didn't have to go to

Gena's a cappella competition.

Their version of "Amazing Grace" is...

♪ Auditory assault! ♪

You are such a dick, Steve, I don't even know why I date you.

It is my pleasure to present you,

my non-Sylvanian college friends,

at the Sylvanian Summer Festival as my special gifts.

You mean guests, right? We are here!

♪♪

Um, why are the elephant people

the same size as the squirrel people?

It is the Sylvanian Family way, don't think about it,

and lose yourself in some 10,000 proof mead!

Oh, no, thanks.

It feels like I'm choking just being here.

Don't mind if I do!

Holy shitballs, that is raw!

Mother, father, sister, come -- Gena, meet my family.

Any friend of Maxwell is a friend of ours,

especially one with such fine birthing hips.

We made you this traditional Sylvanian bridal flock!

Um, I'm sorry? My parents are the tailors

of Sylvania -- it's not like you're marrying

Mother Earth or anything.

Yet! [ All laughing ]

Okay, uh, Steve...

do you think we could just, like --

Steve!

[ Giggling ]

Freya Chocolate Rabbit is in heat!

And she likes you, lucky boy!

Steve is my boyfriend.

He doesn't fuck rabbits.

Gena, we said we're going to experience

everything about Sylvanian culture, now stop --

You're blocking me, Gena.

Well, Freya can't mate with another rabbit

because all of the rabbits and Sylvania are related,

just like all the hedgehogs and the squirrels and hippos.

Oh, my God! If we made amongst ourselves,

we end up with weird variants

like Giant Ralph Walnut Squirrel,

[ Grinding ]

Sylvanian brunch is served!

This place is madness!

Steve, we've gotta ge -- Where's Steve?!

Oh, listen, listen, I think he's deep inside the rabbit hole!

[ Moaning ]

Steve!

[ Whooping ]

I am with child, I can feel it.

Whoo-ha!

Steven! Hey, baby.

It turns out Sylvanian culture is fucking awesome.

I'm totally breaking up with you.

You can't leave, we already skinned Patrick Bear!

As our Sylvanian Summer Queen,

You must dress Steve in this skin and burn him alive!

It is the Sylvania Family way! Burn Steve?

Mm...

Now we administer the nectar of Sylvanian lotus berry

so he feels no pain --

No! I want him to feel this burn!

Ladies?!

♪ Amazing grace ♪

♪ How sweet the sound ♪

♪ That saved a wretch like me ♪

I once was lost, but now I'm found ♪

♪ Was blind, but now I see ♪

Steve: Burn me!

-[ Chittering ] -Stupid monkey!

Wahoo! [ Smack ]

[ Production logo playing ]