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1
00:00:09,609 --> 00:00:11,509
Take a look at your daughter.
2
00:00:12,278 --> 00:00:14,712
Yeah, so? She looks happy.
3
00:00:14,781 --> 00:00:17,147
She's happy. That's very happy.
4
00:00:17,884 --> 00:00:20,114
What, should we call a doctor, Ray?
5
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:24,320
I'm just saying,
look how good it is to be five.
6
00:00:25,258 --> 00:00:29,490
You're truly happy at five.
Your happiness peaks at five.
7
00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:34,530
- Come on. I'm happy.
- You're not that happy.
8
00:00:36,102 --> 00:00:39,333
You can't be. Look at her.
Ally, what are you thinking of?
9
00:00:39,406 --> 00:00:40,600
Candy.
10
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:44,040
Candy!
11
00:00:44,244 --> 00:00:47,611
You're that happy? When was the last time
you daydreamed about candy?
12
00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:50,843
You can't do that as an adult.
Try, you don't get far.
13
00:00:50,917 --> 00:00:53,317
Candy. Cavities.
14
00:00:55,755 --> 00:00:59,691
No money. Who am I? Why am I here?
15
00:01:00,093 --> 00:01:02,357
What am I doing? Am I gay?
16
00:01:05,165 --> 00:01:07,895
See? Candy doesn't work.
17
00:01:08,268 --> 00:01:09,667
Try this candy.
18
00:01:16,676 --> 00:01:17,904
Happy now?
19
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,171
Candy.
20
00:01:24,484 --> 00:01:27,783
Hi, I'm Ray, and I live here in Long Island
with my wife Debra.
21
00:01:27,854 --> 00:01:31,187
She's great with the kids,
the house, everything.
22
00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:33,020
I don't know how she does it.
23
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:34,720
We've got a daughter Ally...
24
00:01:34,794 --> 00:01:37,228
and twin two-year-old boys.
25
00:01:37,964 --> 00:01:39,898
It's not really about the kids.
26
00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:42,992
My parents live across the street.
27
00:01:43,670 --> 00:01:45,035
That's right.
28
00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:47,403
And my brother lives with them.
29
00:01:48,174 --> 00:01:51,337
Now, not every family
would go by on a conveyor belt for you...
30
00:01:51,411 --> 00:01:53,038
but mine would because...
31
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,876
Everybody loves Raymond.
32
00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:56,938
Yeah.
33
00:02:12,732 --> 00:02:15,929
Will you stop?
You're driving me nuts, Frank.
34
00:02:19,339 --> 00:02:21,068
I said stop!
35
00:02:21,574 --> 00:02:23,303
This is who you are now?
36
00:02:23,376 --> 00:02:26,243
Tearing out coupons
like you're in a home for old ladies?
37
00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:28,007
I find it relaxing.
38
00:02:31,017 --> 00:02:33,110
- Fish sticks?
- Yes.
39
00:02:34,187 --> 00:02:35,677
You don't eat fish sticks.
40
00:02:35,755 --> 00:02:39,213
I once made them for you and you said
that's not the way God wanted fish.
41
00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:40,554
You never made them.
42
00:02:40,627 --> 00:02:42,720
- I did, too.
- Not for me.
43
00:02:43,229 --> 00:02:46,460
- When did you make fish sticks?
- When they first came out.
44
00:02:49,736 --> 00:02:52,068
- Hi.
- Hello, Ray.
45
00:02:52,138 --> 00:02:54,538
- You hungry?
- No, I just ate.
46
00:02:56,242 --> 00:02:58,267
No. Don't lie to me. Sit down.
47
00:02:59,445 --> 00:03:01,572
What are you guys doing Saturday?
48
00:03:01,714 --> 00:03:04,478
Here, Jell-O for the kids. Save 30 cents.
49
00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:08,119
Thanks, Dad. Now I can buy that boat.
50
00:03:09,289 --> 00:03:10,950
What's Saturday, dear?
51
00:03:11,357 --> 00:03:12,722
Debra's parents.
52
00:03:13,593 --> 00:03:15,458
Not Howie and Eva.
53
00:03:15,795 --> 00:03:18,821
Warren and Lois, Dad.
You're not even close.
54
00:03:19,399 --> 00:03:23,199
Why don't you see if they got a coupon
in there for shock treatments?
55
00:03:23,269 --> 00:03:25,203
No, we're busy Saturday.
56
00:03:25,271 --> 00:03:27,603
Come on, Ma, they don't come that often.
57
00:03:27,674 --> 00:03:31,735
No, they're too busy
gallivanting around the world.
58
00:03:31,978 --> 00:03:35,106
Where did they go
for Christmas last year? Morocco?
59
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:38,779
- So what?
- What are they trying to prove?
60
00:03:39,085 --> 00:03:40,746
They're so pretentious.
61
00:03:40,820 --> 00:03:43,983
I always have to hear about
how beautiful it is in Connecticut.
62
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:47,584
Look, you have to see your in-laws.
They're gonna be across the street.
63
00:03:47,660 --> 00:03:51,391
- What, are you gonna hide?
- I've got a chair now up in the attic.
64
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:56,335
Come on, you know
how Debra is with this family thing.
65
00:03:56,502 --> 00:03:58,299
I know, it's insane.
66
00:03:58,371 --> 00:04:02,000
Please, look, I promise it'll all be over
before Warren can say:
67
00:04:02,108 --> 00:04:04,008
"I bought another sculpture."
68
00:04:06,879 --> 00:04:08,210
He's such an ass.
69
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:14,546
What about Lois: "I prefer dark chocolate."
70
00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:20,051
Good, so you'll come. You can find
new things to make fun of them.
71
00:04:20,159 --> 00:04:21,751
It's for Debra, really.
72
00:04:22,328 --> 00:04:26,230
Couldn't you tell Debra, once and for all,
it's enough with her parents?
73
00:04:27,133 --> 00:04:30,967
- What are you talking about?
- Don't you feel the same way about them?
74
00:04:32,405 --> 00:04:33,872
No, Ma. I like them.
75
00:04:34,073 --> 00:04:35,802
- Come on.
- What?
76
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:38,342
Come on. You hate their guts.
77
00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:41,112
Enough already, okay?
78
00:04:41,514 --> 00:04:44,847
All right, look,
so they're a little sophisticated.
79
00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:47,010
He admits it, we're better.
80
00:04:48,354 --> 00:04:52,256
You know they're not my favorite people.
But you've got to be nice Saturday.
81
00:04:52,325 --> 00:04:55,158
It's for Debra and for me, indirectly.
82
00:04:55,228 --> 00:04:57,719
I will be my usual charming self.
83
00:04:58,364 --> 00:04:59,695
I'll even bring a present.
84
00:04:59,766 --> 00:05:02,496
Here, 30 cents off, Dijon Mustard.
85
00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:05,962
A Poupon coupon.
86
00:05:09,075 --> 00:05:10,542
Yes.
87
00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:13,309
Good to see you two getting along.
88
00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:23,618
Who taught you how to dust?
89
00:05:24,791 --> 00:05:25,917
Self-taught.
90
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:31,157
Listen, I'll do that. You go and straighten
all that stuff up there. Okay?
91
00:05:31,631 --> 00:05:33,428
What the hell is this?
92
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:35,292
Careful.
93
00:05:35,368 --> 00:05:37,893
- What is it?
- I just bought it at a gallery today.
94
00:05:37,970 --> 00:05:40,734
- It's Peruvian. Isn't it great?
- Yeah.
95
00:05:40,973 --> 00:05:42,964
Where does the pepper come out?
96
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:46,972
They're here. Hurry up.
97
00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:51,710
Are those the pants you're wearing?
98
00:05:52,151 --> 00:05:53,243
No.
99
00:05:54,554 --> 00:05:56,886
Ray, don't! Put it back.
100
00:05:59,792 --> 00:06:01,555
Hello, sweetie pie.
101
00:06:15,608 --> 00:06:17,633
- Hello, Ray.
- Hello.
102
00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:19,344
I was just...
103
00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:21,371
dusting.
104
00:06:23,816 --> 00:06:25,249
Crazy as ever.
105
00:06:25,651 --> 00:06:27,915
There's no off switch here, Warren.
106
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:31,622
Hello, darling. Where are the kids?
107
00:06:31,758 --> 00:06:32,952
Jail.
108
00:06:34,694 --> 00:06:36,127
It's naptime.
109
00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:40,695
Honey, this is beautiful.
110
00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:44,168
- I love Peruvian art.
- It's Incan.
111
00:06:44,303 --> 00:06:46,203
- Machu Picchu.
- Gesundheit.
112
00:06:47,940 --> 00:06:49,805
He always says that.
113
00:06:50,042 --> 00:06:51,771
And it's funny every time.
114
00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:58,743
- It's us.
- Hello, in-laws.
115
00:06:58,818 --> 00:07:00,080
Hello, darling.
116
00:07:00,686 --> 00:07:02,017
Hello, sweetie.
117
00:07:04,390 --> 00:07:07,154
- This is for you.
- You shouldn't have.
118
00:07:07,226 --> 00:07:10,286
It's a box of the finest milk chocolate.
119
00:07:11,998 --> 00:07:16,230
Thank you, Marie.
I still haven't quite finished the last box.
120
00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:18,865
Warren, how've you been?
121
00:07:18,971 --> 00:07:21,997
Where are you going
on your next vacation, Maui?
122
00:07:25,311 --> 00:07:27,074
A little further, actually.
123
00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:30,008
- We're going to Vietnam.
- What?
124
00:07:30,349 --> 00:07:33,978
Vietnam? What, do you owe Charlie
some payback?
125
00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:41,627
I've been reading that Vietnam
is a fascinating place to go now.
126
00:07:41,694 --> 00:07:43,184
I would love to see it.
127
00:07:43,262 --> 00:07:45,822
Or we could just rent Apocalypse Now.
128
00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:52,302
So, Marie.
129
00:07:52,672 --> 00:07:56,665
What's new with you?
Have you seen any new shows in town?
130
00:07:56,742 --> 00:08:01,372
I saw The Three Tenors last week on TV.
I think PBS is wonderful.
131
00:08:01,914 --> 00:08:04,041
Until they start asking for money.
132
00:08:05,918 --> 00:08:09,877
We just saw some very funky
experimental stuff...
133
00:08:09,956 --> 00:08:12,083
at the Performing Garage.
134
00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:16,057
- And we saw Stomp.
- I love Stomp.
135
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,758
Who's Stomp?
136
00:08:19,198 --> 00:08:21,098
It's sort of like a rhythmic dance.
137
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:24,364
These guys, sort of bang together
anything they can find...
138
00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:27,372
trash cans, hub caps, brooms.
139
00:08:27,807 --> 00:08:29,138
And you loved it?
140
00:08:30,543 --> 00:08:32,670
Loved it. We're going back.
141
00:08:33,446 --> 00:08:37,041
- How much do they charge for this?
- $40.
142
00:08:38,217 --> 00:08:41,744
For $20, I'll bang on my garbage cans
till your ears bleed.
143
00:08:45,324 --> 00:08:46,689
Look at this.
144
00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:48,352
That's $12.
145
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:57,101
- Can I see you in the kitchen, right now?
- Okay.
146
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:58,363
Here I come.
147
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:01,934
Another $15.
148
00:09:06,979 --> 00:09:08,970
What are you guys doing?
149
00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:11,482
Nothing. We're stomping.
150
00:09:13,185 --> 00:09:16,348
- You're making fun of my parents.
- No.
151
00:09:17,857 --> 00:09:20,485
All right, we're making a little fun of them.
152
00:09:21,193 --> 00:09:22,455
Vietnam.
153
00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:25,597
It comes from love.
154
00:09:27,166 --> 00:09:30,363
I know you're not crazy about them,
but can't you at least pretend?
155
00:09:30,436 --> 00:09:33,098
I am pretending. No, I mean...
156
00:09:33,773 --> 00:09:38,267
I love your parents. In fact,
you're robbing me of my time with them.
157
00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:42,813
Where the hell have you been?
158
00:09:44,216 --> 00:09:46,912
- Everything okay?
- Yeah, couldn't be better.
159
00:09:46,986 --> 00:09:50,752
We were just saying it's a shame
we don't spend more time together.
160
00:09:50,856 --> 00:09:54,121
We were just thinking the same thing.
161
00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:58,388
So, why don't we all
have dinner together tomorrow night?
162
00:10:01,734 --> 00:10:06,194
We have a reservation at Le Bernardus.
We'll just expand it. We'll all go.
163
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:08,297
That's a four-star restaurant.
164
00:10:08,374 --> 00:10:11,832
No, thank you. We don't go
to those kinds of places because...
165
00:10:11,911 --> 00:10:14,744
- it's just too much.
- I don't like to get dressed.
166
00:10:15,815 --> 00:10:17,715
Don't be silly.
167
00:10:18,718 --> 00:10:21,448
In fact, Ray, bring your brother.
168
00:10:22,021 --> 00:10:23,147
Oh, boy.
169
00:10:24,824 --> 00:10:29,124
Doesn't this sound like fun?
Come on, you guys, our treat.
170
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:31,889
It would mean so much to us.
171
00:10:32,031 --> 00:10:34,295
But we're just so very busy.
172
00:10:36,502 --> 00:10:38,800
We're not too busy for our in-laws.
173
00:10:38,871 --> 00:10:42,739
Yes, Le Bernardus.
The whole family. Together.
174
00:10:42,808 --> 00:10:44,070
Great.
175
00:10:44,443 --> 00:10:46,877
It's gonna be so thrilling.
176
00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:50,546
It'll be more fun than Vietnam.
177
00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:10,368
Bonsoir, welcome to Le Bernardus.
178
00:11:10,903 --> 00:11:13,269
Holy crap!
179
00:11:17,476 --> 00:11:19,034
We're with the Whalen party.
180
00:11:19,111 --> 00:11:23,104
Yes, your hosts have arrived already.
I'll be glad to take you to your table.
181
00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:26,982
- Am I going to have to tip this guy?
- We'll seat ourselves. Thank you.
182
00:11:27,053 --> 00:11:28,680
Come on, let's go.
183
00:11:29,989 --> 00:11:33,789
What's with your parents?
It's like the first time they've worn shoes.
184
00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:38,823
What? What is it?
185
00:11:39,465 --> 00:11:42,696
Isn't this one of those joints
with those dressed-up waiters?
186
00:11:42,768 --> 00:11:44,895
Yeah. What's wrong with
dressed-up waiters?
187
00:11:44,970 --> 00:11:46,699
They give me the willies.
188
00:11:47,139 --> 00:11:50,870
They just put me on the spot, you know?
It's like authority figures.
189
00:11:50,943 --> 00:11:54,811
Authority figures? You're a police sergeant.
You out-rank the waiter.
190
00:11:56,315 --> 00:11:58,146
But how is he going to know?
191
00:11:58,784 --> 00:12:00,752
Come on. It'll be all right.
192
00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:05,448
Officer Robert.
193
00:12:05,991 --> 00:12:07,618
- How are you?
- Fine.
194
00:12:09,028 --> 00:12:11,189
- Hello, Robert.
- How are you?
195
00:12:11,263 --> 00:12:13,458
How's police work treating you?
196
00:12:13,933 --> 00:12:18,768
One day you're rescuing a puppy,
the next day fishing a skull out of a toilet.
197
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,267
Good evening.
198
00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:31,015
Hello, I'm Gerard. Here are your menus.
199
00:12:32,551 --> 00:12:35,714
Excuse me, but there's so much
silverware on the table.
200
00:12:35,988 --> 00:12:37,979
What's all this silverware for?
201
00:12:38,557 --> 00:12:42,288
- For you to eat with.
- No, that's too much.
202
00:12:43,529 --> 00:12:46,726
This is wasteful. I've got five forks.
Take three back.
203
00:12:48,033 --> 00:12:51,400
And all these plates means extra washing.
Give me your plates.
204
00:12:55,574 --> 00:12:59,840
Me, too. I don't need all these glasses.
How many mouths do you think I got?
205
00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:04,844
I have too many parents.
Could you take one of them, please?
206
00:13:04,917 --> 00:13:07,579
I'll be back shortly with tonight's specials.
207
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:10,254
What kind of food do they serve here?
208
00:13:10,322 --> 00:13:13,291
- I believe it's French.
- Ever been to France?
209
00:13:13,359 --> 00:13:15,919
No, we're not world travelers.
210
00:13:15,995 --> 00:13:19,453
France is so lovely. You have to go.
211
00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:21,591
I don't appreciate the French...
212
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,099
as a people.
213
00:13:24,703 --> 00:13:28,036
I find them annoying.
214
00:13:29,308 --> 00:13:30,468
Truly.
215
00:13:32,745 --> 00:13:34,679
You're an interesting man.
216
00:13:35,614 --> 00:13:39,550
- Remember that time in Provence?
- This is funny.
217
00:13:40,019 --> 00:13:41,884
We were in Provence...
218
00:13:42,087 --> 00:13:46,319
and I asked our waiter, "What are all these
little herbs sprinkled on everything?"
219
00:13:47,059 --> 00:13:50,551
And the waiter says, "Herbes de Provence."
220
00:13:56,802 --> 00:13:58,963
- Fresh bread.
- Here we go.
221
00:14:01,907 --> 00:14:04,137
Look at all that bread.
222
00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:07,008
I'm so glad we came here.
223
00:14:07,947 --> 00:14:11,314
- You got any rye bread?
- No, sir, I'm sorry. We do not.
224
00:14:12,051 --> 00:14:13,416
I like rye bread.
225
00:14:13,752 --> 00:14:15,379
They don't have any, Dad.
226
00:14:15,454 --> 00:14:17,285
I'll have a baguette over here.
227
00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:21,087
You got all these kinds of bread.
You don't have rye bread. It's very common.
228
00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:24,254
What do you do
when Jewish people come in here?
229
00:14:24,830 --> 00:14:26,991
Would you like to speak
with the manager, sir?
230
00:14:27,066 --> 00:14:28,363
Is he Jewish?
231
00:14:28,634 --> 00:14:31,068
Dad, just take a roll, okay?
232
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,236
Sorry, man.
233
00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:37,501
Don't apologize.
The customer is always right.
234
00:14:37,843 --> 00:14:41,540
- Am I right?
- I would never argue with you, Frank.
235
00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:43,645
I don't get these places.
236
00:14:43,849 --> 00:14:45,908
Perhaps you'd like to hear
tonight's specials.
237
00:14:45,985 --> 00:14:47,919
- Please.
- In addition to the menu...
238
00:14:47,987 --> 00:14:50,649
the chef has prepared a crab
in a puff pastry.
239
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:53,556
It's a Dungeness crab
in a light butter and garlic sauce.
240
00:14:53,626 --> 00:14:54,991
How much is that?
241
00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:58,591
- It's $32.
- Oh, geezaloo!
242
00:14:59,064 --> 00:15:02,522
Now, Frank, you're not allowed
to look at the prices tonight.
243
00:15:02,868 --> 00:15:04,335
Warren, wake up, will you?
244
00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:06,963
This guy's got both his hands
in your pocket.
245
00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:10,667
Could we have a minute here, please?
246
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,574
- Certainly.
- Thank you.
247
00:15:13,879 --> 00:15:16,677
Thanks. This guy's really working me.
248
00:15:18,050 --> 00:15:22,453
Frank, I assure you, it's okay.
We've been here before.
249
00:15:22,788 --> 00:15:25,416
So you don't even know
when you're being taken?
250
00:15:25,524 --> 00:15:27,890
Dad, nobody's being taken, all right?
Calm down.
251
00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:29,857
Just try to enjoy yourself.
252
00:15:30,129 --> 00:15:31,892
Frank has an eye for value.
253
00:15:32,998 --> 00:15:35,466
You're really comfortable
in a place like this?
254
00:15:35,534 --> 00:15:37,525
It seems so unnecessary.
255
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:41,300
Of course, it's not necessary, Marie.
It's a luxury.
256
00:15:41,373 --> 00:15:45,173
But sometimes a little luxury is necessary.
257
00:15:45,811 --> 00:15:47,574
What does that mean?
258
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:49,777
See, Marie...
259
00:15:49,848 --> 00:15:53,443
every once in a while,
my family just likes to try and enjoy life.
260
00:15:54,453 --> 00:15:56,853
I guess we just don't understand.
261
00:15:57,089 --> 00:16:00,650
Well, not everyone
can understand everything.
262
00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:04,091
What's that supposed to mean?
263
00:16:04,163 --> 00:16:07,724
- It's all right, Dad, it's okay.
- You're taking their side now?
264
00:16:08,167 --> 00:16:11,330
Is anyone else hot and cold?
265
00:16:14,506 --> 00:16:16,838
Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.
266
00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:20,106
Of course it's not a good idea.
It's a bad idea.
267
00:16:20,179 --> 00:16:23,342
It's a very bad idea.
What, am I the only one who can see this?
268
00:16:23,415 --> 00:16:24,848
What're you doing?
269
00:16:24,917 --> 00:16:27,408
These people shouldn't be at the
same table together.
270
00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:29,147
They shouldn't be in the same state.
271
00:16:29,221 --> 00:16:33,555
My parents like to stay home and watch TV,
and your parents honeymoon in Cambodia.
272
00:16:33,625 --> 00:16:35,559
Excuse me, Sri Lanka.
273
00:16:35,894 --> 00:16:38,226
- Who cares?
- Ray!
274
00:16:38,297 --> 00:16:40,060
I mean, I care.
275
00:16:40,132 --> 00:16:42,760
I know you care
because that's the kind of people you are.
276
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:45,395
You like to make jokes
about herbs that nobody gets...
277
00:16:45,471 --> 00:16:47,530
and you go to France, and you go to Stomp!
278
00:16:47,606 --> 00:16:49,540
And you go to some basement in a village...
279
00:16:49,608 --> 00:16:52,441
to watch a transvestite
carve a yam into a monkey.
280
00:16:57,316 --> 00:16:58,476
Why, Ray...
281
00:16:58,951 --> 00:17:02,011
I had no idea you felt that way about us.
282
00:17:02,087 --> 00:17:04,419
I don't! I don't feel that way.
283
00:17:05,057 --> 00:17:06,524
I don't, I'm just...
284
00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:10,289
I'm making conversation.
285
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,641
Don't you have to go to your house?
286
00:17:31,950 --> 00:17:33,975
I can't. I took your side.
287
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:38,217
I may have to wait until the Red Cross
tells me it's safe to go back.
288
00:17:40,259 --> 00:17:42,625
Boy, they were pretty mad!
289
00:17:43,362 --> 00:17:46,559
- You know what? Who could blame them?
- What?
290
00:17:46,632 --> 00:17:49,499
I was mortified,
the way you behaved tonight.
291
00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:52,059
- Me?
- You blew the whole evening.
292
00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:55,737
- Where did you learn your manners?
- What are you talking about?
293
00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:57,241
Great dinner, Raymond.
294
00:17:57,309 --> 00:18:00,142
I think I'll go to my room
and chew on some jerky.
295
00:18:03,015 --> 00:18:05,210
Marie, cook something, will you?
296
00:18:05,284 --> 00:18:08,219
Thanks to your son,
we didn't even get to eat.
297
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:12,313
I got some frozen ziti
and some leftover turkey.
298
00:18:13,025 --> 00:18:15,186
Not exactly four-star, is it?
299
00:18:16,662 --> 00:18:18,254
You embarrassed us.
300
00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:21,197
Wait a minute. I don't get you guys.
You didn't want to go.
301
00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:23,860
You complained the whole time.
What are you mad at me for?
302
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:26,029
- You were rude.
- I was rude?
303
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:28,630
Yes. We didn't raise you like that.
304
00:18:28,707 --> 00:18:32,234
- You don't insult your host.
- Not to their face.
305
00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:34,412
Where's your discretion?
306
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:37,040
What are you talking about?
307
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,607
I only said what I said because of you two.
308
00:18:39,685 --> 00:18:42,313
- What did we do?
- What did you do?
309
00:18:42,454 --> 00:18:45,423
It was like the night the hillbillies landed.
310
00:18:45,491 --> 00:18:48,426
All I did was try to save
the man some money.
311
00:18:48,594 --> 00:18:52,155
You were the one going on
about yams and transvestites, dear.
312
00:18:53,165 --> 00:18:54,632
I'll tell you something else.
313
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:58,136
There were things on that menu
I could've gone for right now.
314
00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:01,731
I thought you knew more about
what being a family meant.
315
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,798
What would happen to the world...
316
00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:07,403
if everybody told their families
what they actually thought?
317
00:19:08,347 --> 00:19:10,941
Maybe you should think before you speak.
318
00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:20,251
I'm a man without a country.
319
00:19:35,073 --> 00:19:36,199
You're up?
320
00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:40,907
I couldn't believe you tonight, Ray,
you were so rude.
321
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:43,944
Good, it's unanimous.
322
00:19:44,783 --> 00:19:46,250
Let me ask you something, Ray.
323
00:19:46,318 --> 00:19:49,810
Do you know how many things
I can find wrong with your parents?
324
00:19:49,888 --> 00:19:52,914
That's like asking how many rocks are there.
325
00:19:55,594 --> 00:19:58,461
How would you like it if I went there
and told your parents...
326
00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:01,363
- all the things I didn't like about them?
- Great.
327
00:20:01,567 --> 00:20:03,694
I'll get the video camera.
328
00:20:03,769 --> 00:20:07,227
Narrow-minded, intrusive,
completely insensitive...
329
00:20:07,306 --> 00:20:09,069
oblivious, and cheap.
330
00:20:09,141 --> 00:20:11,166
Okay, now let's do my mother.
331
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:14,008
- I'm serious, Ray.
- I know.
332
00:20:14,079 --> 00:20:16,070
Except I would never say anything...
333
00:20:16,148 --> 00:20:19,606
because the closeness of this family
is very important to me.
334
00:20:19,851 --> 00:20:21,842
Yeah, evenings like this.
335
00:20:22,854 --> 00:20:26,847
- Look, I'm very sorry, really.
- You're sorry?
336
00:20:26,925 --> 00:20:29,393
- What are you sorry for?
- I'm sorry...
337
00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:31,218
we have parents.
338
00:20:31,863 --> 00:20:34,127
- Come on, Ray.
- I'm sorry.
339
00:20:34,199 --> 00:20:38,727
I didn't want to insult them.
I was embarrassed and I snapped.
340
00:20:39,037 --> 00:20:42,803
I didn't want to insult your parents.
I'm sorry I ruined the evening.
341
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:44,334
What else?
342
00:20:45,277 --> 00:20:46,869
There's a "what else?"
343
00:20:47,346 --> 00:20:50,611
You're going to call my parents
tomorrow and apologize...
344
00:20:50,682 --> 00:20:52,582
Yes, of course, I look forward to it.
345
00:20:52,651 --> 00:20:57,179
I'd call them right now, but they're probably
at a midnight show of Mummenschanz.
346
00:21:02,961 --> 00:21:05,794
Come on, please, just forgive me...
347
00:21:05,897 --> 00:21:08,957
I'll throw in a dinner for two
at Le Bernardus.
348
00:21:10,369 --> 00:21:12,200
Does it have to be with you?
349
00:21:12,404 --> 00:21:14,497
Yes. You're stuck with me.
350
00:21:17,409 --> 00:21:19,775
- Okay?
- Okay. Jerk.
351
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:26,149
You know what really worried me tonight?
You started to remind me of your parents.
352
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,753
There's no need to name-call.
353
00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:32,724
The other thing that bothered me is,
I think I'm a little bit like mine.
354
00:21:32,791 --> 00:21:35,225
- Yeah, but, see, there's a difference.
- What?
355
00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:36,659
I don't mind you.
356
00:21:38,330 --> 00:21:40,321
Guess I don't mind you, either.
357
00:21:40,932 --> 00:21:44,026
- Our wedding vows.
- I know.
358
00:21:45,437 --> 00:21:47,234
So we just made up.
359
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:51,232
I think it might be time for make-up sex.
360
00:21:51,643 --> 00:21:53,440
Does it have to be with you?27699
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