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1
00:00:02,160 --> 00:00:04,890
- Previously on Wonderfalls.
- Don't give her money back.
2
00:00:06,365 --> 00:00:09,300
You can't talk.
You don't have a larynx.
3
00:00:09,401 --> 00:00:12,768
- If I do this, will you shut up!
4
00:00:12,871 --> 00:00:14,805
See a penny, pick it up.
5
00:00:14,906 --> 00:00:18,171
No more talking from things that don't talk.
We had a deal. Ask him.
6
00:00:18,277 --> 00:00:19,369
Hmm.
7
00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:31,486
"Thumbing Through
the Finger Lakes With Karen Tyler.
8
00:00:31,590 --> 00:00:33,490
"About the Author.
9
00:00:33,592 --> 00:00:35,685
"Karen Tyler
is the award-winning author...
10
00:00:35,794 --> 00:00:38,354
"of several best-selling travel guides.
11
00:00:38,463 --> 00:00:40,761
"She resides in Niagara Falls,
New York, with her husband...
12
00:00:40,866 --> 00:00:44,029
"noted area physician,
Dr. Darrin Tyler.
13
00:00:44,136 --> 00:00:47,003
"The Tylers have three
beautiful grown children.
14
00:00:47,105 --> 00:00:50,836
"Their eldest daughter, Sharon,
is a respected immigration attorney...
15
00:00:50,942 --> 00:00:55,675
"and the newest partner at the law firm
of Merrifield, Hanson and Eldrich.
16
00:00:55,781 --> 00:00:58,477
"Son Aaron is the youngest non-Asian...
17
00:00:58,583 --> 00:01:01,848
"to win the prestigious Fulton
Scholarship for Religious Studies...
18
00:01:01,953 --> 00:01:05,889
"and is currently pursuing his doctorate
in Comparative Religion.
19
00:01:05,991 --> 00:01:08,516
Jaye, a daughter, is 2 4. "
20
00:01:08,627 --> 00:01:11,994
- Uh--
- Congratulations, sweetheart.
21
00:01:12,097 --> 00:01:14,395
I think this book
might be your best yet.
22
00:01:14,499 --> 00:01:16,626
It's certainly the heaviest.
23
00:01:16,735 --> 00:01:19,203
I love the cover art.
It's very eye-catching.
24
00:01:19,304 --> 00:01:21,602
My publisher assures me
that's the case.
25
00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:24,232
Jaye, aren't you going to congratulate
your mother on her achievement?
26
00:01:24,343 --> 00:01:27,141
How come I only get five words
on your inner flap?
27
00:01:27,245 --> 00:01:30,578
Well, it's a blurb, dear. I'm only allowed
a certain amount of words for that.
28
00:01:30,682 --> 00:01:32,877
Sure used up a lot of them on Aaron.
29
00:01:32,984 --> 00:01:37,182
He got 26 words. I got five.
And one of mine's a digit.
30
00:01:37,289 --> 00:01:39,917
Jaye, sweetheart,
don't parse the blurb.
31
00:01:40,025 --> 00:01:42,585
- Really, though.
- Easy for you to say. You got 1 9.
32
00:01:42,694 --> 00:01:45,959
- I counted 22.
- Your brother and your sister
are older than you.
33
00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:48,897
They require more words
because they've lived more.
34
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:53,198
- Achieved more, you mean.
- No. They've had more
opportunity to excel.
35
00:01:53,305 --> 00:01:55,205
Your time will come.
36
00:01:55,307 --> 00:01:57,400
We're all looking forward
to expanding your sentence.
37
00:01:57,509 --> 00:02:02,037
I did actually graduate from Brown
with a philosophy degree.
I might even have it somewhere.
38
00:02:02,147 --> 00:02:05,776
That is true. We're nearly finished
paying for that, aren't we?
39
00:02:05,884 --> 00:02:09,411
"Jaye, their youngest, holds
a philosophy degree from Brown.
40
00:02:09,521 --> 00:02:13,252
And works retail."
That's 1 2 more words.
41
00:02:13,358 --> 00:02:16,054
- Sharon.
- "And lives in a trailer park." That's five right there.
42
00:02:16,161 --> 00:02:21,064
- All right.
- Why not? Those things are all facts.
Should I be ashamed?
43
00:02:21,166 --> 00:02:25,728
- Ooh, ooh.
44
00:02:27,038 --> 00:02:29,336
It's me.
It's the hospital.
45
00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:33,400
Looks like I'm gonna have to cut out
of your celebratory dinner a little early. Sorry.
46
00:02:33,512 --> 00:02:36,242
Nonsense. We're finished here.
You have lives to save.
47
00:02:36,348 --> 00:02:39,044
I have my lunch launch tomorrow.
I need to go over my notes.
48
00:02:39,151 --> 00:02:41,051
- Who's gonna give me a ride?
- I'll drop you.
49
00:02:41,153 --> 00:02:43,781
I was about to head out. I gotta put in
some dissertation time tonight.
50
00:02:43,889 --> 00:02:46,289
I could take him.
Hospital's right near my gym.
51
00:02:46,391 --> 00:02:48,791
I wanted to get a little workout
before I prepare for court.
52
00:02:48,894 --> 00:02:51,385
You take the Mercedes.
I'll go home with Aaron.
53
00:02:51,496 --> 00:02:53,896
I'll probably just
hang out here and get drunk.
54
00:03:05,343 --> 00:03:07,743
S-Sorry. Sorry.
55
00:03:13,852 --> 00:03:15,945
- Hi.
- Hey.
56
00:03:16,054 --> 00:03:18,579
- Is that your family?
- Yep.
57
00:03:18,690 --> 00:03:21,284
You seem depressed.
58
00:03:21,393 --> 00:03:23,918
Not clinically. But my mother
published a new book...
59
00:03:24,029 --> 00:03:26,827
and I only got five words
in her bio blurb.
60
00:03:26,932 --> 00:03:30,197
- You got mentioned in a blurb?
- Hey.
61
00:03:30,302 --> 00:03:32,770
- Oh, God, no.
- Get her words out.
62
00:03:32,871 --> 00:03:36,204
- What do you care?
- Well, I think that's impressive.
63
00:03:36,308 --> 00:03:38,503
It's only actually
four words and a digit.
64
00:03:38,610 --> 00:03:41,704
My siblings got 5 1,
collectively.
65
00:03:41,813 --> 00:03:44,373
- Digits?
- Words.
66
00:03:44,483 --> 00:03:48,613
I didn't know your brother was on a
scholarship. Uh, you weren't though, were you?
67
00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:52,383
What if I only ever rate
four words and a digit?
68
00:03:52,491 --> 00:03:56,222
What if by the time my mother's next book
comes out, the sentence hasn't changed?
69
00:03:56,328 --> 00:03:59,525
It will. Well, the digit will.
70
00:04:02,501 --> 00:04:07,029
Or by then it'll say, "Their youngest daughter
was confined to a mental institution."
71
00:05:22,647 --> 00:05:24,046
Hmm.
72
00:05:33,825 --> 00:05:35,725
I got it.
73
00:05:35,827 --> 00:05:37,920
It's only Tuesday.
What's with all the busy?
74
00:05:38,029 --> 00:05:39,929
Boats aren't running.
Fogged in.
75
00:05:40,031 --> 00:05:42,898
Again? It's the Maid
of the Mist. Mist!
76
00:05:43,001 --> 00:05:46,437
Where's Leslie? Isn't she always whining
about not getting enough hours?
77
00:05:46,538 --> 00:05:48,631
- Yes. That's why she quit.
- Leslie quit?
78
00:05:48,740 --> 00:05:53,268
Last summer. I need more
enviro-friendly plastic bags.
79
00:05:53,378 --> 00:05:55,346
Konnichiwa.
80
00:05:58,216 --> 00:06:02,448
Excuse... m-me.
I-I think this is y-yours.
81
00:06:02,554 --> 00:06:04,920
Oh, yeah. Thanks.
I was looking for--
82
00:06:05,023 --> 00:06:07,423
Oh, my God!
It really is mine!
83
00:06:07,525 --> 00:06:10,460
I never even knew it was missing
or that I had cash.
84
00:06:10,562 --> 00:06:12,462
Where'd you find it?
85
00:06:12,564 --> 00:06:15,556
In your p-pocket last night.
86
00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:18,397
- You stole my wallet?
- My van broke down.
87
00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:21,529
I ran out of m-money.
I was d-desperate.
88
00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:23,540
Did you put this
eight dollars in here?
89
00:06:23,675 --> 00:06:26,735
It was all I h-had.
90
00:06:26,845 --> 00:06:30,178
I felt g-g-g-g--
91
00:06:30,281 --> 00:06:32,374
Get her words out.
92
00:06:32,484 --> 00:06:37,319
Oh, get her words out.
Uh, guilty?
93
00:06:37,422 --> 00:06:41,654
No harm done.
Is there anyone you could call?
94
00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:45,560
My p-parents live in F-Florida...
95
00:06:45,664 --> 00:06:49,361
but they think I'm in C-C-C--
96
00:06:49,467 --> 00:06:52,231
- Carolina? Kansas?
- C-C-C--
97
00:06:52,337 --> 00:06:55,500
Colorado? Kentucky?
Columbia? California?
98
00:06:55,607 --> 00:06:57,837
C-California!
99
00:06:57,942 --> 00:07:00,740
I told them I had a job waiting
for me there, but I d-don't.
100
00:07:00,845 --> 00:07:06,010
I can't get a job because
I have a stu-- a stu--
101
00:07:06,117 --> 00:07:08,677
- S. T. D?
- Stutter!
102
00:07:08,787 --> 00:07:13,281
I didn't want to be a b-burden.
They have enough problems.
103
00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:16,918
Dad's on an iron lu-- iron--
104
00:07:17,028 --> 00:07:19,428
Lung! Oh, God.
105
00:07:19,531 --> 00:07:24,093
My name's B-B-B-B--
106
00:07:26,171 --> 00:07:29,163
- B--
- Bianca? Barlow? Betty?
107
00:07:29,274 --> 00:07:31,572
- Yeah.
- Bianca?
108
00:07:31,676 --> 00:07:35,043
- Yeah.
- Huh.
109
00:07:35,146 --> 00:07:38,013
Uh, anyway,
I'm really s-sorry.
110
00:07:38,116 --> 00:07:41,574
Wait. I can't let you give me
your last eight dollars.
111
00:07:41,686 --> 00:07:44,416
- Here's five back.
-
112
00:07:44,522 --> 00:07:49,016
Jaye Tyler, report
to customer service. Jaye Tyler.
113
00:07:49,127 --> 00:07:52,790
Oh, I got you in t-t-t-trouble.
114
00:08:15,153 --> 00:08:18,748
That was the most amazing
bit of folding I have ever witnessed.
115
00:08:20,225 --> 00:08:23,319
Are these Gap corners?
Do you work at the galleria?
116
00:08:23,428 --> 00:08:27,125
Oh, no. I'm unem--
117
00:08:27,232 --> 00:08:30,429
- I'm unem--
- Get her words out.
118
00:08:30,535 --> 00:08:34,562
- I'm unem--
- Uh, Bianca's between jobs right now.
119
00:08:34,672 --> 00:08:37,766
Hey, we could use some help
around here, couldn't we?
120
00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:44,281
This'll just be temporary until
we get your real one stitched.
121
00:08:46,618 --> 00:08:49,519
- "Binky"?
- It's short for B-B--
122
00:08:49,621 --> 00:08:51,953
- Get her words out.
- Yeah, I get it.
123
00:08:54,259 --> 00:08:56,250
Tyler here is gonna
show you the ropes.
124
00:08:56,361 --> 00:08:58,761
Don't worry about her bark.
She knows the biz.
125
00:08:58,863 --> 00:09:00,763
She trained me,
and now I'm her boss.
126
00:09:00,865 --> 00:09:03,356
Don't worry about the folding.
She's got that down.
127
00:09:03,468 --> 00:09:06,301
Thanks for speaking up
for m-me before.
128
00:09:06,404 --> 00:09:11,137
And also for not telling him
I st-stole from y-you.
129
00:09:11,242 --> 00:09:15,941
So, in a way, I kind of helped you
by getting your words out?
130
00:09:16,047 --> 00:09:18,811
Oh, y-yes.
131
00:09:18,917 --> 00:09:20,885
Huh.
132
00:09:20,985 --> 00:09:23,351
Okay.
133
00:09:23,454 --> 00:09:26,252
So, can you count backwards?
134
00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:30,157
Sixteen, 1 5 and 1 0 is t-twenty.
135
00:09:30,261 --> 00:09:34,561
Thank you for sh-shopping
at Wonderfalls.
136
00:09:34,666 --> 00:09:37,499
- Thank you, sweetie.
- Come again.
137
00:09:37,602 --> 00:09:40,503
Don't encourage them.
138
00:09:40,605 --> 00:09:44,837
This is fun! You sure you don't
want to take over for a bit?
139
00:09:44,943 --> 00:09:48,811
Can't. Not allowed.
You're doing a really good job.
140
00:09:48,913 --> 00:09:51,245
- I am?
- Mm-hmm.
141
00:09:51,349 --> 00:09:55,911
It's like you've been at it your whole life
yet managed not to have your soul crushed.
142
00:09:56,020 --> 00:10:00,480
M-Maybe I should d-dust the shelves.
143
00:10:00,592 --> 00:10:02,560
Mm, I don't think so.
144
00:10:02,660 --> 00:10:05,561
- If you do one, then we'll
just have to do all of them.
- Oh.
145
00:10:05,663 --> 00:10:08,928
Now there's just kind of a nice, really
thin layer, so it's not really noticeable.
146
00:10:09,033 --> 00:10:13,493
Excuse me. I was told that you carry
a Niagara Falls motion lamp.
147
00:10:13,605 --> 00:10:15,869
- Did you see it out there?
- No.
148
00:10:15,974 --> 00:10:20,434
Then we don't have 'em.
Try Talismania across the quad.
149
00:10:20,545 --> 00:10:23,673
You know,
I thought I saw...
150
00:10:23,781 --> 00:10:27,012
those m-motion lamps
in the b-back.
151
00:10:27,118 --> 00:10:31,282
Exactly. In the back.
Up on a high shelf.
152
00:10:31,389 --> 00:10:34,381
If one of us were to fall,
it would affect workers' comp rates.
153
00:10:34,492 --> 00:10:36,960
We're not only
protecting our employer...
154
00:10:37,061 --> 00:10:39,962
but small businesses
everywhere.
155
00:10:45,403 --> 00:10:48,304
Thanks for everything t-today.
156
00:10:48,406 --> 00:10:51,341
I don't feel t-tired at all.
157
00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:53,672
Well, you're a quick study.
158
00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:57,236
I n-never had
a m-mentor before.
159
00:10:57,348 --> 00:11:02,149
A mentor? Please. I'm five-word
blurb girl who lives in a trailer.
160
00:11:02,253 --> 00:11:05,222
I live in a v-van.
161
00:11:09,861 --> 00:11:12,386
What are your feelings on beer?
162
00:11:17,268 --> 00:11:20,965
-
- This is actually more work than I've done all day.
163
00:11:21,072 --> 00:11:23,233
- Business slow?
- Normal.
164
00:11:23,341 --> 00:11:25,901
But we finally hired
some decent help.
165
00:11:26,010 --> 00:11:29,639
Eric, this is Bianca.
Bianca and I will both have a beer.
166
00:11:29,747 --> 00:11:31,977
Yes, p-please.
167
00:11:32,083 --> 00:11:34,517
Comin' up.
168
00:11:34,619 --> 00:11:39,249
He's c-c-c-- He's c-c--
169
00:11:39,357 --> 00:11:41,621
- He's--
- Cute.
170
00:11:41,726 --> 00:11:44,695
- Yeah.
-
171
00:11:44,796 --> 00:11:46,491
Anything else?
172
00:11:47,799 --> 00:11:49,699
I'll let you know.
173
00:11:54,872 --> 00:11:57,308
Okay, that was just tricky.
174
00:11:57,308 --> 00:11:57,569
Okay, that was just tricky.
175
00:12:03,715 --> 00:12:06,775
Thank you for shopping
at Wonderfalls.
176
00:12:09,187 --> 00:12:11,280
That was perfect.
177
00:12:11,389 --> 00:12:13,949
Polite but detached, right?
178
00:12:14,058 --> 00:12:16,720
No. Well, yeah, actually.
Your technique was spot-on.
179
00:12:16,828 --> 00:12:19,695
You got through that
whole sentence without--
180
00:12:19,797 --> 00:12:21,822
Hey, say
"polite but detached" again.
181
00:12:21,933 --> 00:12:24,163
Polite but detached.
182
00:12:27,171 --> 00:12:30,004
Bianca, I thought I asked you
to fold these T-shirts.
183
00:12:30,108 --> 00:12:31,876
Some people
messed them up again.
184
00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:32,740
Some people
messed them up again.
185
00:12:32,844 --> 00:12:35,574
Jaye, can I see you
for a minute?
186
00:12:38,983 --> 00:12:42,976
Excuse me. Hi. I bought
this yesterday, and it doesn't work.
187
00:12:43,087 --> 00:12:46,545
So I need to exchange it. But before I leave,
I need to make sure the new one works--
188
00:12:46,657 --> 00:12:50,024
- What did you do to her?
- I think I may have cured her.
189
00:12:50,128 --> 00:12:55,065
Of what? Her work ethic? I entrusted you
to teach her, not pass on your bad habits.
190
00:12:55,166 --> 00:12:58,499
- Whatever.
- I should've trained her myself.
191
00:12:58,603 --> 00:13:01,538
- Why didn't you?
- You saw how nervous she gets around me.
She barely ta--
192
00:13:06,711 --> 00:13:09,737
This one works.
193
00:13:11,549 --> 00:13:15,041
That is the most frightening
thing I have ever heard.
194
00:13:15,153 --> 00:13:18,247
- What? It was a rubber dart.
- Shot into a real eye!
195
00:13:18,356 --> 00:13:22,986
He's fine. Except for the detached retina.
We all got to leave early.
196
00:13:23,094 --> 00:13:25,255
Don't you find it odd
that this girl...
197
00:13:25,363 --> 00:13:28,298
is willing to blithely carry out
acts of violence on your behalf?
198
00:13:28,399 --> 00:13:30,299
She's like your own
personal Heinrich Himmler.
199
00:13:30,401 --> 00:13:32,733
There were no orders
to hurt or maim.
200
00:13:32,837 --> 00:13:36,068
Bianca's a free agent.
And she's fun.
201
00:13:36,174 --> 00:13:38,699
You should come out with us.
I thought we could take her clubbing.
202
00:13:38,810 --> 00:13:40,903
- Baby seals?
- You're overreacting.
203
00:13:41,012 --> 00:13:43,139
You'd like her
if you gave her a chance.
204
00:13:43,247 --> 00:13:47,149
"Can you hear the seals,
Clarice? They're screaming."
205
00:13:47,251 --> 00:13:49,515
-
- Oh, shut up.
206
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:52,487
She's sweet.
And perfectly normal.
207
00:13:52,590 --> 00:13:52,757
Sorry I'm late.
Thanks for covering for...
208
00:13:52,757 --> 00:13:57,126
Sorry I'm late.
Thanks for covering for...
209
00:13:58,563 --> 00:14:01,191
- Hey.
- ... me.
210
00:14:07,772 --> 00:14:11,173
- What?
- Your hair.
211
00:14:11,275 --> 00:14:12,902
It's my natural color.
So what?
212
00:14:13,010 --> 00:14:15,911
What's that scorched smell?
Did you iron it?
213
00:14:16,013 --> 00:14:18,607
- It's hair. Stop twitching.
- It's my hair.
214
00:14:18,716 --> 00:14:21,913
- "Whichever."
- Whatever.
215
00:14:22,019 --> 00:14:24,988
The word is "whatever."
216
00:14:27,792 --> 00:14:31,319
- Did you just write that down?
- No.
217
00:14:31,429 --> 00:14:35,991
Look, Bianca. I appreciate
that imitation...
218
00:14:36,100 --> 00:14:39,467
is the sincerest form of flattery,
et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
219
00:14:39,570 --> 00:14:43,802
but I go out of my way
to cultivate a unique look and persona...
220
00:14:43,908 --> 00:14:45,842
and, um, so should you.
221
00:14:45,943 --> 00:14:48,434
I don't know
what you're talking about.
222
00:14:48,546 --> 00:14:50,639
- Morning, Tyler.
- Morning.
223
00:14:52,150 --> 00:14:54,380
You let him think
you were me.
224
00:14:54,485 --> 00:14:58,854
He only has one good eye. You want me
to make him feel b-bad about it?
225
00:14:58,956 --> 00:15:01,891
Get her words out.
226
00:15:04,829 --> 00:15:07,889
- Morning, sweetheart.
- Morning, Dad.
227
00:15:07,999 --> 00:15:10,559
I mean, you're not my dad.
228
00:15:10,668 --> 00:15:13,000
Oh, I'm sorry.
I thought you were my daughter.
229
00:15:13,104 --> 00:15:15,004
Hello, sweetheart.
230
00:15:15,106 --> 00:15:18,007
Now would be a good time
to restock those motion lamps.
231
00:15:18,109 --> 00:15:20,168
Whatever.
232
00:15:20,278 --> 00:15:25,181
Hey, guess what.
Thumbing Through the Finger Lakes
is going into a second printing.
233
00:15:25,283 --> 00:15:27,478
- It sold out on Amazon. com.
- Really?
234
00:15:27,585 --> 00:15:29,485
- Mm-hmm.
- Good for Mom.
235
00:15:29,587 --> 00:15:32,351
Good for you. Your mother's
publisher is redoing the dust jacket.
236
00:15:32,456 --> 00:15:35,948
Sharon and Aaron have agreed
to give up five words each...
237
00:15:36,060 --> 00:15:38,426
which means you get 1 0 more.
238
00:15:38,529 --> 00:15:41,327
- That's 1 5 total.
- So, what is it gonna say?
239
00:15:41,432 --> 00:15:43,366
Whatever you want it to say.
240
00:15:43,467 --> 00:15:45,594
You want me to write
my own blurb?
241
00:15:45,703 --> 00:15:47,864
Sharon wrote hers.
242
00:15:47,972 --> 00:15:50,270
Oh, come on. Come on.
It'll be fun.
243
00:15:50,374 --> 00:15:52,569
Let those 1 5 words
show the world...
244
00:15:52,677 --> 00:15:56,545
just what kind of unique,
one-of-a-kind daughter I have.
245
00:16:02,787 --> 00:16:06,553
Did you sic Binky on your mother
so you'd get more words?
246
00:16:06,657 --> 00:16:09,558
- No. In this instance,
I believe guilt was my friend.
- Oh.
247
00:16:09,660 --> 00:16:13,391
Actually more like my "frenemy," 'cause now
I feel guilty over getting what I wanted.
248
00:16:13,497 --> 00:16:15,397
Then don't take the extra words.
249
00:16:15,499 --> 00:16:17,933
I don't feel that guilty.
250
00:16:18,035 --> 00:16:21,869
Oh, look. Here c-comes
c-crazy. Hi, crazy.
251
00:16:21,973 --> 00:16:26,205
Oh, my God. She's wearing
your work vest and-- Oh, God!
252
00:16:26,310 --> 00:16:29,802
She looks just like you.
And you said she was normal.
253
00:16:29,914 --> 00:16:32,781
Hi. You're wearing my vest.
That's my name.
254
00:16:32,883 --> 00:16:36,250
I spilled coffee on mine, so--
255
00:16:36,354 --> 00:16:39,323
Either way, you're wearing
a Wonderfalls vest. In public?
256
00:16:39,423 --> 00:16:41,891
I was in a hurry to leave.
257
00:16:41,993 --> 00:16:44,393
Mouth-breather was sucking
the life out of me.
258
00:16:44,495 --> 00:16:48,329
You'd think nearly losing an eye
would make him sympathetic.
259
00:16:48,432 --> 00:16:51,060
- Can I have one of those?
- Uh, sure.
260
00:16:51,168 --> 00:16:54,763
Oh, my God. She's like
a Jaye Tyler cover band.
261
00:16:54,872 --> 00:16:59,502
Oh, God, I'm sore.
I've been sleeping in a van too long.
262
00:16:59,610 --> 00:17:01,942
Would you pop my back for me?
263
00:17:02,046 --> 00:17:03,877
Uh, sure.
264
00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:06,506
You do realize he's not
a licensed chiropractor.
265
00:17:06,617 --> 00:17:08,517
He could very easily
paralyze you.
266
00:17:08,619 --> 00:17:10,985
-
- Now, uh, exhale.
267
00:17:11,088 --> 00:17:13,249
- Hold it for a sec.
-All right.
268
00:17:17,295 --> 00:17:20,162
- Perfect.
- I think maybe you're the cover band.
269
00:17:20,264 --> 00:17:22,232
She's a better you than you are.
270
00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:24,927
She didn't even have to giggle
or toss her hair.
271
00:17:25,036 --> 00:17:26,936
Also, she's not stutterin'.
272
00:17:27,038 --> 00:17:30,633
Yeah. I noticed.
273
00:17:30,741 --> 00:17:34,837
At first I thought I was helping her,
but now I'm not so sure.
274
00:17:34,945 --> 00:17:39,348
I think what she needs
more than a friend is her family.
275
00:17:39,450 --> 00:17:43,181
She's a runaway. Her parents
are probably worried sick.
276
00:17:43,287 --> 00:17:47,485
They think she's on her way to California,
but this isn't California.
277
00:17:47,591 --> 00:17:50,856
- What do you want me to do about it?
- Well, I need a contact number.
278
00:17:50,961 --> 00:17:54,556
I have to tell them where their
daughter is, so they can come and get her.
279
00:17:54,665 --> 00:17:58,829
Her name is Bianca Knowles, so we're looking
for a Mr. and Mrs. Knowles in Florida.
280
00:17:58,936 --> 00:18:00,836
They'll be so grateful.
281
00:18:00,938 --> 00:18:03,532
Why are you doing this?
Is there a reward?
282
00:18:03,641 --> 00:18:06,735
I'm trying to reunite a family.
That's reward enough.
283
00:18:06,844 --> 00:18:09,506
Does this girl
even want a reunion?
284
00:18:09,613 --> 00:18:13,344
Her parents could be carnies.
285
00:18:13,451 --> 00:18:17,012
Or maybe she's like you, and she
does not enjoy her family's company.
286
00:18:17,121 --> 00:18:20,579
- I enjoy your company.
-
287
00:18:20,691 --> 00:18:24,058
I just prefer my family time
in short, controlled bursts.
288
00:18:26,664 --> 00:18:29,155
-
- Hello?
289
00:18:29,266 --> 00:18:32,793
- We need to upgrade the Bianca alert to orange.
- She's still there?
290
00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:35,428
Mm-hmm.
And she's sitting on your stool.
291
00:18:35,539 --> 00:18:38,007
Oh, there are just so many things
wrong about that sentence.
292
00:18:38,109 --> 00:18:41,237
- What is she doing?
- Pumping Eric.
293
00:18:41,345 --> 00:18:44,337
- On my stool?
- For information about you.
294
00:18:44,448 --> 00:18:47,349
She's all up in his grille, trying to
suck out any details she can about you.
295
00:18:47,451 --> 00:18:49,351
- Oh, my God!
- Yeah.
296
00:18:49,453 --> 00:18:53,355
And he's like one batted eyelash away
from giving up your Social Security number.
297
00:18:53,457 --> 00:18:55,425
Eric won't fall for her shtick.
298
00:18:55,559 --> 00:18:59,859
Oh, he is goin' down.
This girl is so his type.
299
00:18:59,964 --> 00:19:01,955
Jaye, she's you!
300
00:19:02,066 --> 00:19:03,795
You think I'm his type?
301
00:19:03,901 --> 00:19:06,028
You better get down here.
302
00:19:11,142 --> 00:19:13,167
You're coming with me.
303
00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:16,508
And try to look threatening.
More than usual.
304
00:19:29,493 --> 00:19:31,393
- There you go.
- Oh, okay.
305
00:19:31,495 --> 00:19:33,554
Uh, Jaye--
306
00:19:33,664 --> 00:19:36,326
-Just go like this?
- Yeah, that's right.
307
00:19:36,434 --> 00:19:38,163
- What's he popping now?
-Jaye!
308
00:19:38,269 --> 00:19:40,737
Eric was just telling me
how much you liked billiards.
309
00:19:40,838 --> 00:19:42,897
I mentioned
I never played, so--
310
00:19:43,007 --> 00:19:45,840
Yeah, well, you're done playing,
whatever your game is!
311
00:19:45,943 --> 00:19:48,912
Is this the girl from Florida?
She looks familiar.
312
00:19:49,013 --> 00:19:52,813
- Because she's me!
- I'm s-sorry.
313
00:19:52,917 --> 00:19:58,253
I was j-just trying
to b-be your f-friend.
314
00:19:58,355 --> 00:20:00,585
Well, there are laws
against stalking.
315
00:20:00,691 --> 00:20:02,921
And my sister,
a very successful lawyer...
316
00:20:03,027 --> 00:20:06,326
will see to it that your pale imitation
of my ass lands in jail.
317
00:20:06,430 --> 00:20:08,864
Buh-Buh--
318
00:20:08,966 --> 00:20:11,628
Buh-Buh-Buh-bye.
319
00:20:15,873 --> 00:20:19,206
Okay, that was totally uncalled for.
320
00:20:19,310 --> 00:20:21,369
What? That was totally called for.
321
00:20:21,479 --> 00:20:23,640
You're the one who called for it.
322
00:20:23,747 --> 00:20:26,307
Yeah. Um, I tried to call you back.
323
00:20:26,417 --> 00:20:31,514
Binky was just asking questions
'cause she wanted to help write your blurb
for the book jacket.
324
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:39,552
"DaughterJaye, a philosopher,
resides in Niagara Falls...
325
00:20:39,663 --> 00:20:43,292
where she inspires with effortless,
undemanding style."
326
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:46,631
Aw, a runaway wrote that?
327
00:20:46,737 --> 00:20:49,638
Wow. It's poignant.
328
00:20:49,740 --> 00:20:53,301
I better go check on her.
329
00:20:56,247 --> 00:20:56,347
Who writes poignant and incisive blurbs
about people they hardly know?
330
00:20:56,347 --> 00:20:59,510
Who writes poignant and incisive blurbs
about people they hardly know?
331
00:20:59,617 --> 00:21:02,347
She must be nuts
if she thinks you inspire.
332
00:21:02,453 --> 00:21:04,921
With effortless
and undemanding style.
333
00:21:05,022 --> 00:21:08,651
Oh, look at that.
You've inspired me to walk to my car.
334
00:21:08,759 --> 00:21:12,092
And now you've
inspired me to leave.
335
00:21:51,068 --> 00:21:54,560
Oh, my--
336
00:22:35,379 --> 00:22:38,143
- You've ruined everything.
-
337
00:22:43,454 --> 00:22:46,116
I know karate!
338
00:22:52,196 --> 00:22:55,097
You may have all my friends
snookered, but not me.
339
00:22:55,199 --> 00:22:56,860
You're like that girl
in that movie...
340
00:22:56,967 --> 00:22:59,492
who wanted to be that other girl
so much that she killed for it!
341
00:22:59,603 --> 00:23:02,697
- Grease?
- Single White Female!
342
00:23:02,806 --> 00:23:05,104
- No. I'm st-st--
- Stalking me?
343
00:23:05,209 --> 00:23:07,040
- I'm st-st--
- Stabbing me?
344
00:23:07,144 --> 00:23:10,944
- St-St--
- Stealing my organs after you stab me?
345
00:23:11,048 --> 00:23:15,348
- St-St--
- Stitching a skin suit
out of my dead corpse...
346
00:23:15,452 --> 00:23:17,443
after you stab me
and steal my organs?
347
00:23:17,554 --> 00:23:19,715
I'm studying you!
348
00:23:21,158 --> 00:23:23,456
Wh-Wha--
349
00:23:26,196 --> 00:23:26,363
You're an investigative
journalist?
350
00:23:26,363 --> 00:23:28,160
You're an investigative
journalist?
351
00:23:28,265 --> 00:23:32,793
I'm wr-writing a st-story
on disaffected 20-somethings.
352
00:23:32,903 --> 00:23:35,463
For who?
Total Makeover magazine?
353
00:23:35,572 --> 00:23:37,802
T-Today's Am-merica.
354
00:23:37,908 --> 00:23:41,674
I th-thought if I became more like you,
I'd understand you better.
355
00:23:41,779 --> 00:23:44,043
I-I really wanted
to get inside your head.
356
00:23:44,148 --> 00:23:47,117
You're not in my head.
You just have my hair.
357
00:23:47,217 --> 00:23:50,584
And why the phony stutter? Some people
might think it's offensive and not just funny.
358
00:23:50,688 --> 00:23:53,452
It's n-not ph-phony!
359
00:23:53,557 --> 00:23:58,358
It becomes more pronounced
when I'm under str-stress!
360
00:23:58,462 --> 00:24:01,659
Mm-hmm. Yeah, I'm not buying
the whole Mrs. Doubtfire thing.
361
00:24:01,765 --> 00:24:06,930
It's tr-true!
I-- I can p-prove it.
362
00:24:11,809 --> 00:24:14,539
It's all my correspondence
with my editor.
363
00:24:14,645 --> 00:24:18,081
The last f-few
are a little angry.
364
00:24:18,182 --> 00:24:21,117
He keeps w-wanting me
to s-send something...
365
00:24:21,218 --> 00:24:24,415
but I c-can't seem
to get st-started.
366
00:24:24,521 --> 00:24:28,685
"Regarding your article
on Gen-Y losers--"
367
00:24:28,792 --> 00:24:32,785
Losers? You're writing
an article on how I'm a loser?
368
00:24:32,896 --> 00:24:34,796
N-N-No.
369
00:24:34,898 --> 00:24:38,698
It's really about w-winners...
370
00:24:38,802 --> 00:24:41,032
who haven't w-won.
371
00:24:41,138 --> 00:24:44,801
Yet. Or ever.
372
00:24:46,276 --> 00:24:49,575
- I'm a nonwinner.
- B-But by choice.
373
00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:52,478
You're the prototypical
Gen Y-er.
374
00:24:52,583 --> 00:24:55,609
You represent a generation
of y-y-young people...
375
00:24:55,719 --> 00:24:58,244
who have been bl-blessed
with education and opportunity...
376
00:24:58,355 --> 00:25:02,223
who don't just fall through
the cracks but j-jump through.
377
00:25:02,326 --> 00:25:04,317
I'm not a crack jumper, lady.
378
00:25:04,461 --> 00:25:09,057
Ah, the w-w-witty wordplay,
the Ivy League irony.
379
00:25:09,166 --> 00:25:12,567
How do you know what league
my irony is?
380
00:25:12,669 --> 00:25:16,161
Were you stalking me at Brown?
Are you the girl who stole my meal card?
381
00:25:16,273 --> 00:25:19,970
I was a fr-freshman
when you were a senior.
382
00:25:20,077 --> 00:25:23,808
I found you when I did
a cross-sample of graduates...
383
00:25:23,914 --> 00:25:27,179
who failed to contribute to
society in any significant way.
384
00:25:28,852 --> 00:25:33,812
Th-That's not a j-judgment.
You're a victim of the system.
385
00:25:33,924 --> 00:25:37,155
So it's an article about me?
386
00:25:37,261 --> 00:25:40,492
You as a m-m-metaphor.
387
00:25:40,597 --> 00:25:44,931
But about me.
How many words?
388
00:25:45,035 --> 00:25:48,766
- Five thousand.
- Awesome.
389
00:25:48,872 --> 00:25:52,535
Yeah, would've been. But now the subject
is aware of my presence. My study is tainted.
390
00:25:52,643 --> 00:25:55,840
Uh, does that mean I'm
not getting my 5,000 words?
391
00:25:55,946 --> 00:26:01,509
There's not g-gonna be
any wo-wo-wo--
392
00:26:01,618 --> 00:26:04,018
- Get her words.
- I'm way ahead of you.
393
00:26:04,121 --> 00:26:07,648
Bianca, you can't quit now.
394
00:26:07,758 --> 00:26:10,522
People need to know
what it's like to be me...
395
00:26:10,627 --> 00:26:12,788
and that's gonna take words.
396
00:26:12,896 --> 00:26:15,990
Your words.
About 5,000 of'em.
397
00:26:16,099 --> 00:26:18,727
You need to get them out...
398
00:26:18,836 --> 00:26:21,862
and I'm gonna help you do it.
399
00:26:21,972 --> 00:26:24,133
H-How?
400
00:26:24,241 --> 00:26:26,971
By offering you
an all-access pass...
401
00:26:27,077 --> 00:26:29,272
to the life
of the prototypical Gen Y-er.
402
00:26:29,379 --> 00:26:32,712
- Anything you want to know.
- Full disclosure?
403
00:26:32,816 --> 00:26:35,182
I'll let you jump
right into my cracks.
404
00:26:37,187 --> 00:26:40,418
While their lives
may appear aimless and desultory...
405
00:26:40,524 --> 00:26:44,756
there's nothing random about the choices
the Gen-Ynonwinner makes.
406
00:26:44,862 --> 00:26:47,524
Everything they do
is for a single purpose.:
407
00:26:47,631 --> 00:26:50,566
to avoid engaging
with the world around them.
408
00:26:52,369 --> 00:26:55,031
- Hey, who has a map?
- So, why retail?
409
00:26:55,138 --> 00:26:58,266
Doesn't customer service
force you to interact with the public?
410
00:26:58,375 --> 00:27:01,674
Not necessarily.
Wonderfalls caters to tourists.
411
00:27:01,778 --> 00:27:04,212
Tourists are either coming or going.
They're not fixtures.
412
00:27:04,314 --> 00:27:08,080
So you're never in any real danger
of developing a rapport with them.
413
00:27:08,185 --> 00:27:11,450
Subject is reluctant to make
eye contact with children or the elderly.
414
00:27:11,555 --> 00:27:15,787
So a place like this allows you
to remain inward and uninvolved?
415
00:27:17,394 --> 00:27:21,057
- Huh.
- In theory.
416
00:27:21,164 --> 00:27:24,565
Subject routinely
affects slight slouch and subtle sneer...
417
00:27:24,668 --> 00:27:27,603
which seems designed
to repel others.
418
00:27:29,339 --> 00:27:31,603
A combination of body
language and 'tude...
419
00:27:31,708 --> 00:27:33,972
can create a kind of invisible
protective barrier...
420
00:27:34,077 --> 00:27:36,568
like rap music or that bubble
car the Pope drives around in.
421
00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:38,739
Interesting.
What about friends?
422
00:27:38,849 --> 00:27:41,909
You want to choose people who aren't
much more motivated than you are.
423
00:27:42,019 --> 00:27:44,078
But don't surround yourself
with total narcissists.
424
00:27:44,187 --> 00:27:47,213
Otherwise, things start to be
about something other than you.
425
00:27:47,324 --> 00:27:51,260
So do you think your life is a reaction
against the choices your family's made?
426
00:27:51,361 --> 00:27:54,990
- You're not the first to suggest that.
- Like living in this trailer.
427
00:27:55,098 --> 00:27:59,159
Well, it's affordable, and the park has a
guy that empties the refuse tank for free.
428
00:27:59,269 --> 00:28:01,897
Oh, but it is
so much more than that.
429
00:28:02,005 --> 00:28:06,965
If you mean it looks a little like
Jeannie's bottle, I get that a lot.
430
00:28:07,077 --> 00:28:10,171
Your home is a trailer.
431
00:28:11,548 --> 00:28:14,142
Don't you see the beautiful
poetry in that?
432
00:28:14,251 --> 00:28:17,345
It's a thing that's been
designed to go someplace...
433
00:28:17,454 --> 00:28:20,355
and yet the hitch
isn't hooked up to anything.
434
00:28:20,457 --> 00:28:23,620
So it just sits here, never
living up to its potential...
435
00:28:23,727 --> 00:28:26,355
but never in any danger
of breaking down either.
436
00:28:27,998 --> 00:28:31,866
You're sure not having any trouble
getting your words out tonight.
437
00:28:31,969 --> 00:28:34,870
You have really managed
to create a stressless...
438
00:28:34,972 --> 00:28:37,338
expectation-free
zone for yourself.
439
00:28:37,441 --> 00:28:40,740
Wow. I'm like a genius.
440
00:28:42,245 --> 00:28:44,645
So, are we almost done?
441
00:28:44,748 --> 00:28:47,808
'Cause surprisingly, I'm getting
tired of talking about myself.
442
00:28:47,918 --> 00:28:50,284
I think I have
everything I need.
443
00:28:56,526 --> 00:29:00,189
-
-
444
00:29:04,601 --> 00:29:07,035
Oh, crap!
445
00:29:18,815 --> 00:29:22,842
You're an hour late.
446
00:29:22,953 --> 00:29:25,353
My alarm didn't go off.
Where's my time card?
447
00:29:25,455 --> 00:29:27,355
Right here.
448
00:29:29,159 --> 00:29:32,822
Aren't those Bianca's notes?
449
00:29:32,929 --> 00:29:36,865
Yes. I found them
by the register this morning.
450
00:29:36,967 --> 00:29:39,561
Imagine my shock
when I discovered...
451
00:29:39,669 --> 00:29:42,263
the two of you weren't
doing inventory yesterday.
452
00:29:42,372 --> 00:29:46,775
Oh. Yeah.
I'm still training her.
453
00:29:46,877 --> 00:29:49,437
She already
admitted everything.
454
00:29:51,314 --> 00:29:54,010
Well, I don't know
what she said...
455
00:29:54,117 --> 00:29:56,813
but she's not
an investigative journalist.
456
00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:59,184
Her study's not tainted.
457
00:29:59,289 --> 00:30:02,918
She told me how you had her following you
around, writing everything you said...
458
00:30:03,026 --> 00:30:06,894
documenting life at Wonderfalls
for future generations.
459
00:30:06,997 --> 00:30:10,626
- Oh, right. That.
- She's very naive.
460
00:30:10,734 --> 00:30:13,931
She actually believed you when
you said there was a time capsule...
461
00:30:14,037 --> 00:30:17,632
under the Maid of the Mist fountain.
462
00:30:17,741 --> 00:30:21,837
Well, you know, some people
will swallow just about anything.
463
00:30:21,945 --> 00:30:26,609
Huh. Even if there was a time capsule,
which I seriously doubt...
464
00:30:26,716 --> 00:30:29,480
the Wonderfalls document
would not be all about you.
465
00:30:29,586 --> 00:30:33,215
- Did I say that?
- You said a lot of things.
466
00:30:33,323 --> 00:30:38,226
This part here where you
call me a... mouth-breather.
467
00:30:38,328 --> 00:30:42,822
- That's my favorite.
- That was taken out of context.
468
00:30:42,933 --> 00:30:45,629
And just so you know,
I have a deviated septum...
469
00:30:45,735 --> 00:30:48,135
and I have to wait three more years
for my cartilage to stop growing...
470
00:30:48,238 --> 00:30:50,468
before I can have the surgery.
471
00:30:50,574 --> 00:30:53,941
Well... three years, huh?
472
00:30:54,044 --> 00:30:56,308
So, in addition to lying...
473
00:30:56,413 --> 00:31:00,110
you've used Wonderfalls merchandise
and Wonderfalls resources...
474
00:31:00,217 --> 00:31:03,152
namely Bianca,
without authorization.
475
00:31:03,253 --> 00:31:06,848
Look. If you wanna write me up,
I'll totally understand.
476
00:31:06,957 --> 00:31:08,857
There won't be any need for that.
477
00:31:08,959 --> 00:31:11,553
I already spoke to Peggy.
478
00:31:11,661 --> 00:31:13,959
She gave me permission
to fire you.
479
00:31:15,932 --> 00:31:19,163
I'll need you to clean out your locker
and hand in your vest.
480
00:31:19,269 --> 00:31:23,000
I hope this doesn't
affect our friendship.
481
00:31:23,140 --> 00:31:28,476
- I got fired.
- Oh, sweetheart, I'm sorry.
482
00:31:28,578 --> 00:31:31,308
Sharon and Aaron
can have their words back.
483
00:31:31,414 --> 00:31:33,644
I won't be needing them.
Ever, apparently.
484
00:31:33,750 --> 00:31:37,083
Nonsense. You're gonna make
good use of those words.
485
00:31:37,187 --> 00:31:39,246
Think of this
as an opportunity.
486
00:31:39,356 --> 00:31:41,984
"Dubya" failed the first
time he ran for Congress.
487
00:31:42,092 --> 00:31:44,788
Look how far he got.
President of the United States.
488
00:31:44,895 --> 00:31:48,456
You don't seem terribly
surprised that I got fired.
489
00:31:51,601 --> 00:31:53,831
What's she doing here?
490
00:31:53,937 --> 00:31:55,996
It was my fault you got fired.
491
00:31:56,106 --> 00:31:59,132
I wanted to make sure
your family knew that.
492
00:31:59,242 --> 00:32:01,301
Binky feels horrible,
sweetheart.
493
00:32:01,411 --> 00:32:04,175
You should hear her out.
494
00:32:04,281 --> 00:32:08,684
And see the way she's got her hair
pulled back? You might try that.
495
00:32:08,785 --> 00:32:11,151
Darrin, come on.
Let's let the girls chat.
496
00:32:14,524 --> 00:32:16,822
I'm sorry you got fired.
497
00:32:16,927 --> 00:32:20,158
Well, what happened? How'd
the mouth-breather find your notes?
498
00:32:20,263 --> 00:32:22,993
I guess I kind of left them out.
499
00:32:23,099 --> 00:32:25,829
Forget it. Just finish your article so we
can tell the mouth-breather everything...
500
00:32:25,936 --> 00:32:27,836
and I'll get my job back.
501
00:32:27,938 --> 00:32:30,236
Um, I can't really do that.
502
00:32:30,340 --> 00:32:32,399
You can't do what?
503
00:32:32,509 --> 00:32:36,912
Any of it. Starting with writing
that article. I can't do it.
504
00:32:37,013 --> 00:32:41,780
What? Of course you can. You have to
get your words out. Remember?
505
00:32:41,885 --> 00:32:45,878
No, I c-can't.
It's too much p-pressure. See?
506
00:32:45,989 --> 00:32:47,889
Bianca.
507
00:32:49,226 --> 00:32:52,889
Binky, this is a huge
opportunity for you.
508
00:32:52,996 --> 00:32:55,089
You can't just pass it up.
509
00:32:55,198 --> 00:32:58,099
I used to think that too.
But I can pass it up.
510
00:32:58,201 --> 00:33:00,135
I'm going to.
511
00:33:00,237 --> 00:33:05,197
Jaye, all my life I've had
this horrible st-st-stutter...
512
00:33:05,308 --> 00:33:09,711
because I can't get
st-started... on anything.
513
00:33:09,813 --> 00:33:12,976
And now I never have to.
514
00:33:13,083 --> 00:33:16,109
- Of course you have to.
- No.
515
00:33:16,219 --> 00:33:19,416
You've shown me a new way.
516
00:33:19,522 --> 00:33:22,389
I can live in a pressureless,
expectation-free zone.
517
00:33:22,492 --> 00:33:25,893
That's my zone.
You're parked in my zone.
518
00:33:25,996 --> 00:33:28,988
And it's the only place
I'll ever be able to breathe.
519
00:33:29,099 --> 00:33:33,229
You didn't stutter at all
when you were getting me to sing.
520
00:33:33,336 --> 00:33:35,270
You planned this.
521
00:33:35,372 --> 00:33:37,101
- You suck!
- You suck!
522
00:33:37,207 --> 00:33:38,469
You suck!
523
00:33:38,575 --> 00:33:39,667
- Whatever!
- Whatever!
524
00:33:39,776 --> 00:33:40,834
Whatever!
525
00:33:40,944 --> 00:33:43,242
Oh, hello.
526
00:33:43,346 --> 00:33:45,610
That's the runaway.
527
00:33:45,715 --> 00:33:50,084
Mmm. Pizza's here. Girls, it's
pizza night. I hope you're staying.
528
00:33:50,186 --> 00:33:53,781
Thank you, Mrs. Tyler.
I'd love to stay.
529
00:34:02,032 --> 00:34:04,796
This is wonderful. Thank you.
530
00:34:04,901 --> 00:34:08,632
It's been a while since I've had
a family supper at a kitchen table.
531
00:34:08,738 --> 00:34:10,968
Normally we're in the dining room
when we have guests...
532
00:34:11,074 --> 00:34:13,702
but we do enjoy
pizza night in the kitchen.
533
00:34:13,810 --> 00:34:16,142
- Every Tuesday.
- It's kind of a tradition.
534
00:34:16,246 --> 00:34:20,876
Oh, it's lovely to see a family
who still honors the old values.
535
00:34:20,984 --> 00:34:25,887
- Where's your family, Binky?
- Oh, I don't really have anyone.
536
00:34:25,989 --> 00:34:29,857
My parents both passed away
when I was very young.
537
00:34:29,959 --> 00:34:33,861
I was raised in foster homes.
Nothing as nice as this.
538
00:34:33,963 --> 00:34:36,864
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
- No wonder you ran away.
539
00:34:36,966 --> 00:34:41,596
As I grew older, I sought answers
in various world religions.
540
00:34:41,705 --> 00:34:44,697
I guess I'm still seeking.
541
00:34:44,808 --> 00:34:47,743
I think that kind of a journey
is an ongoing one.
542
00:34:47,844 --> 00:34:50,938
Aaron is studying
comparative religion.
543
00:34:51,047 --> 00:34:53,015
He's working toward
a doctoral degree.
544
00:34:53,116 --> 00:34:56,984
- Two doctors in the house!
-
545
00:34:57,087 --> 00:34:59,021
One to heal the body,
and one the spirit.
546
00:34:59,122 --> 00:35:00,817
I'm a lawyer!
547
00:35:00,924 --> 00:35:04,655
This is the kind of family
I dream about having someday.
548
00:35:04,761 --> 00:35:08,197
All you need to do
is find the right partner.
549
00:35:08,298 --> 00:35:10,357
Bianca's a single white female.
550
00:35:11,668 --> 00:35:14,364
There is a certain bartender...
551
00:35:14,471 --> 00:35:16,371
I kind of have my eye on.
552
00:35:19,042 --> 00:35:21,636
- You don't have to do that.
- Oh, I don't mind.
553
00:35:21,745 --> 00:35:24,213
- Yeah, but I do.
- But I want to.
554
00:35:24,314 --> 00:35:26,509
It's my job to clear
on pizza night.
555
00:35:26,616 --> 00:35:28,743
You never come to pizza night.
556
00:35:37,193 --> 00:35:40,959
Now, it's okay, sweetheart.
It's okay. Never mind. You--
557
00:35:41,064 --> 00:35:43,897
You lost yourjob today.
You're upset. We understand.
558
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:46,298
We really do.
559
00:35:46,403 --> 00:35:50,464
You are not part
of the collective "we," okay?
560
00:35:50,573 --> 00:35:54,065
And you don't understand.
She's--
561
00:35:55,311 --> 00:35:57,370
She's an investigative
journalist!
562
00:36:00,683 --> 00:36:02,548
Oh, how marvelous.
Who do you write for?
563
00:36:02,652 --> 00:36:07,385
- What's she investigating?
- Me. She's investigating me.
564
00:36:07,490 --> 00:36:09,458
Is it a criminal investigation?
565
00:36:09,559 --> 00:36:12,790
She's writing an article
about my life...
566
00:36:12,896 --> 00:36:15,262
so the whole world can see
what a loser I'm not.
567
00:36:15,365 --> 00:36:19,461
Five thousand words
about me.
568
00:36:23,339 --> 00:36:26,797
Oh, this is my fault.
569
00:36:26,910 --> 00:36:31,745
Jaye, I thought you knew
I was kidding.
570
00:36:33,783 --> 00:36:37,310
She's upset because she only got
five words in Karen's blurb.
571
00:36:37,420 --> 00:36:42,153
I told her I was gonna get a job
on a major magazine and get her 5,000.
572
00:36:43,593 --> 00:36:47,359
But, Jaye, I'm just a retail clerk.
573
00:36:47,464 --> 00:36:50,092
-
- Like you...
574
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:52,430
used to be.
575
00:36:59,642 --> 00:37:01,610
I was an idiot!
576
00:37:01,711 --> 00:37:03,975
Can't believe I let her
get that close.
577
00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:07,516
Yeah, you don't usually do that, do you?
Let people get too close.
578
00:37:07,617 --> 00:37:09,812
Depends on the person.
579
00:37:12,956 --> 00:37:15,618
I was tricked. I never
should have listened to--
580
00:37:15,725 --> 00:37:19,320
Should've tossed her out
on her bu-bu-butt.
581
00:37:19,429 --> 00:37:21,556
Would you have been able
to do that?
582
00:37:21,664 --> 00:37:24,292
Generally, it wouldn't
really be a problem for me.
583
00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:26,163
So you must have seen
something in her.
584
00:37:26,269 --> 00:37:29,705
Ironically, I think maybe
I saw a little of myself.
585
00:37:29,806 --> 00:37:31,865
But that was before
she actually became me.
586
00:37:31,975 --> 00:37:34,500
- She's not you.
- She's not?
587
00:37:34,611 --> 00:37:38,513
No. I mean, she's trying to be you.
But can you really blame her?
588
00:37:38,615 --> 00:37:42,142
Blame her?
Diagnose her, maybe.
589
00:37:42,252 --> 00:37:45,380
I mean, my crappy life?
Lousy job I hate.
590
00:37:45,522 --> 00:37:48,548
Well-meaning but-- let's just say it--
overbearing parents.
591
00:37:48,658 --> 00:37:51,058
Disapproving sister.
A brother who lives at home...
592
00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:53,355
but is still considered
more successful than I am.
593
00:37:53,463 --> 00:37:56,091
Which could be because
I live in a trailer that...
594
00:37:56,199 --> 00:37:59,498
while it may look likeJeannie's bottle,
is actually slightly smaller.
595
00:37:59,602 --> 00:38:03,163
And a barstool that, frankly,
kind ofleaves a welt.
596
00:38:03,273 --> 00:38:05,605
Who'd choose that?
597
00:38:05,708 --> 00:38:08,541
Hell, who'd even want
to read about it?
598
00:38:08,645 --> 00:38:11,273
I would.
599
00:38:11,381 --> 00:38:14,248
You would?
600
00:38:14,350 --> 00:38:18,377
And if there were pictures,
I'd buy two copies.
601
00:38:21,891 --> 00:38:24,553
Hey. Get her words out.
602
00:38:24,661 --> 00:38:26,561
You just--
603
00:38:32,001 --> 00:38:37,735
You want to know about Gen "Y"?
I'll tell you about Gen "Y."
604
00:39:25,955 --> 00:39:28,788
Jaye, you shouldn't be here.
605
00:39:28,891 --> 00:39:32,657
Mouth-breather told me if I see you,
I should call security.
606
00:39:32,762 --> 00:39:34,753
You might want to call
your agent first.
607
00:39:34,864 --> 00:39:36,422
What's that?
608
00:39:36,532 --> 00:39:39,228
Today's America magazine's
acceptance letter.
609
00:39:39,335 --> 00:39:42,361
- They're printing your article.
- What?
610
00:39:42,472 --> 00:39:45,805
"Ms. Knowles, this is to inform you
that your riveting piece...
611
00:39:45,908 --> 00:39:49,742
portraying Gen-Y underachievers
has been accepted for publication."
612
00:39:49,846 --> 00:39:54,044
- This is a fake.
- No, you're the fake. The letter's real.
613
00:39:56,152 --> 00:39:59,553
Oh, my God!
You wrote the article?
614
00:39:59,656 --> 00:40:02,454
And put your name on it.
615
00:40:02,558 --> 00:40:05,152
Look, Bianca, this isn't you.
616
00:40:05,261 --> 00:40:07,855
And I'm a little horrified
to think it might actually be me.
617
00:40:07,964 --> 00:40:10,762
The point is,
you don't belong here.
618
00:40:10,867 --> 00:40:12,835
And at least
for the time being, I do.
619
00:40:12,935 --> 00:40:15,961
Which is why you're gonna call
Today's America magazine...
620
00:40:16,072 --> 00:40:19,041
and get on with your life
and let me have mine back.
621
00:40:19,142 --> 00:40:22,339
- But I c-c--
- Can.
622
00:40:22,445 --> 00:40:25,881
You said your trouble was
you couldn't get started.
623
00:40:25,982 --> 00:40:28,348
Well, now you don't have to.
I got it started for you.
624
00:40:28,451 --> 00:40:32,012
- But I didn't earn this.
- Exactly.
625
00:40:32,121 --> 00:40:34,055
Which makes you the real expert.
626
00:40:34,157 --> 00:40:36,250
You're gonna take credit
for something you didn't do.
627
00:40:36,359 --> 00:40:39,089
You don't get any more
Gen "Y" than that.
628
00:40:44,100 --> 00:40:47,866
See? You really are a slacker.
629
00:40:50,173 --> 00:40:52,937
Thank you.
630
00:40:53,042 --> 00:40:56,011
Leave. Wait.
631
00:40:56,112 --> 00:40:58,342
Tyler,
what are you doing here?
632
00:40:58,448 --> 00:41:01,042
Tell him.
633
00:41:01,150 --> 00:41:03,744
Um, yeah. Listen.
634
00:41:03,853 --> 00:41:06,413
I'm actually
an investigative journalist.
635
00:41:06,522 --> 00:41:08,922
I've written a piece
for Today's America magazine...
636
00:41:09,025 --> 00:41:11,425
which I think is likely
to be the definitive piece...
637
00:41:11,527 --> 00:41:14,189
on the disaffected
20-something generation.
638
00:41:14,297 --> 00:41:16,265
I think that's fair.
639
00:41:17,834 --> 00:41:20,894
I quit. Bye.
640
00:41:27,376 --> 00:41:29,276
She left.
641
00:41:29,378 --> 00:41:32,814
- And the boats aren't running.
-
642
00:41:34,617 --> 00:41:37,916
Hi. Welcome to Wonderfalls.
Did you find what you were looking for?
643
00:41:38,020 --> 00:41:40,318
Yep. Found everything.
644
00:41:46,562 --> 00:41:48,792
"Like the falls of Niagara...
645
00:41:48,898 --> 00:41:51,423
"which rage at the center
ofher little town...
646
00:41:51,534 --> 00:41:56,233
"some powerful force forever threatens
to sweepJen into roiling chaos.
647
00:41:56,339 --> 00:41:59,365
"It is a force
against which she struggles...
648
00:41:59,475 --> 00:42:01,636
"a power she cannot name.
649
00:42:01,744 --> 00:42:04,941
"Whether it is the undertow
of contemporary life...
650
00:42:05,047 --> 00:42:08,016
"or something more ancient,
life as it has always been...
651
00:42:08,117 --> 00:42:11,951
"Jen will continue to struggle,
to thrash and fight...
652
00:42:12,054 --> 00:42:14,249
"yet in her most personal,
unguarded moments...
653
00:42:14,357 --> 00:42:16,257
"she will speak of a calm pool...
654
00:42:16,359 --> 00:42:21,558
"a place where the waters become
still and the chaos abates...
655
00:42:21,664 --> 00:42:24,758
"a place where a father's wisdom...
656
00:42:24,867 --> 00:42:27,199
"a mother's compassion...
657
00:42:27,303 --> 00:42:29,703
"a brother's protection...
658
00:42:29,806 --> 00:42:32,604
"and a sister, 35...
659
00:42:32,708 --> 00:42:38,044
all combine to showJen
she is not alone. "
660
00:42:38,147 --> 00:42:40,877
Aw, sweetheart,
of course you're not.
661
00:42:40,983 --> 00:42:43,383
I am not 35!
662
00:42:43,486 --> 00:42:47,445
And you're not a lesbian either, but you can't
expect her to get every detail exactly perfect.
663
00:42:47,557 --> 00:42:51,084
- It-It doesn't say that.
- Well, it was implied.
664
00:42:51,194 --> 00:42:54,789
Your friend Bianca has
a lovely, crisp prose style.
665
00:42:54,897 --> 00:42:57,195
- What a talented girl.
- I hope we see her again.
666
00:42:57,300 --> 00:42:59,734
I doubt it.
667
00:42:59,836 --> 00:43:03,567
I was hoping we could have her
over Thursday for game night.
668
00:43:03,673 --> 00:43:07,131
- MaybeJaye will join us.
- Yeah, you should come for once.
669
00:43:07,243 --> 00:43:09,143
I'm busy.
670
00:43:09,245 --> 00:43:13,341
Oh, um, the prose probably
isn't as lovely and crisp...
671
00:43:13,449 --> 00:43:16,509
but I finally figured out
my 1 5 words.
672
00:43:16,619 --> 00:43:19,087
Hope it's okay.
673
00:43:19,188 --> 00:43:22,021
"DaughterJaye
lives in Niagara Falls.
674
00:43:22,124 --> 00:43:25,525
Her blurb and life
are a work in progress."
675
00:44:02,632 --> 00:44:04,532
Get the ball, Bud!
55217
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