All language subtitles for Ro.Go.Pa.G, 1963

Four stories by four writers who
confine themselves to recounting

the gay beginning of
the end of the world.

The modern man is very often
oppressed by indescribable anguish,

and facing the daily problems his
unconscious mind suggests him

a refuge which had once protected
and nurtured him: the mother's womb.

For this man who has lost
his own personality,

even love becomes a lamenting
search for a protecting womb.

We are going down.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are landing
at Don Muang airport, Bangkok.

What a wonderful pagoda!

I must take photographs tomorrow.

There'll be time, we'll be back
and forth for 2 months

between Sydney and Tokyo.

Just a minute.

I'm coming.

Yes?

Ah, it's you.

Aren't you ready?

Come and make a tour with us.

No, i must stay here.
I must write to my boyfriend.

- Wr...?? wh..??
- No, I'd rather...??

- Then i always...??
- ??

Would you do me a favor?

Will you shoot a bit of film?

It's quite easy, look through here.

See it ... ??
...you.... ??

Can you ... ?? me?

- ???
- No .....??

...ough???

Thanks.

I photograph ....ng i do.

Now you ... and stand at the window.

.... to see, wait a moment.

... everybody i meet ...

That way he can see my
life when i'm far away.

- And the bit that i did?
- I'll send it to him.

He writes to me nearly every day.

- Doesn't he send films of himself?
- Yes, want to see him?

There he is.

- You don't think he must be thinner?
- You find him fat?

I like him. He's beautiful.

Not bad, but a bit gross.

Let me see him!

No, i don't want to.

And you tell him
absolutely everything?

- What does he do?
- He's a lawyer.

His father's a magistrate.

They don't get on because he'd
rather ha had a state job.

- Southerner?
- Yes, Calabrian.

That'll be Caputi and Fambri,
say i'm coming down.

...announces flight for Tokyo.

Passengers are requested to embark.

Ladies and gentlemen.

As we said, we're flying at
an altitude of 9800 meters.

Should the pressurization
system breaks down,

a compartment in front of you
will open automatically.

And you should detach the oxygen mask,

this remains attached, and apply it
to the face breathing regularly.

While oxygen is being supplied,
no smoking. Thank you.

No, thanks.

Care for something else?

I'm thirsty.

What do you like?

- No, i don't think so.
- Something not so strong?

- That's a good idea.
- Orange juice?

No, i know what a want, a beer.

- A Rheingold beer.
- Yes, a beer.

One beer.

- Who ..??
- The beer?

I asked for a Rheingold beer,
do you know Rheingold beer?

That's right, i'm so sorry.
I'll change it at once.

That passenger wants a Rheingold.
Have we got it?

No. Never mind, i'll deal with it.

I'm sorry but we haven't got
Rheingold, here's the wine list.

Give me a double whisky
with no ice and a little water.

Seat belts...

- Are we landing?
- No, there's a wind.

It's odd that a girl like you
doesn't know Rheingold beer.

I don't drink.

You're a type that ought to know Rheingold.

I'll explain. Each year in the United
States we elect for Rheingold beer...

...the ideal girl that every boy would
like to marry and every mom wants.

Today's heroine who can ski, swim, ride

whom one can take around,
but who also stays at home.

Who doesn't cook sophisticated things
but hamburgers and hot dogs.

Who can drive and maybe
help wash the car.

- Interesting.
- Someone like you...

...would be ideal for Rheingold.

I don't wash cars.

Would you care for some champagne?

I need something to pick me up,
do you know why?

This oriental philosophy drives you nuts.

I go around these countries like
a crazy man to get these people...

...to install the TV i represent.

Here millions of people
have no cultural standards,

it's an underdeveloped world.

TV could be useful, but they're
backward, they live by traditions.

I don't get them.

Do you know our programs?

Which do you prefer?

I don't remember, i work...

The Perry Como Show,
I Love Lucy, Perry Mason?

- They're marvelous!
-Yes, they're wonderful, excuse me.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are
landing at Don Muang, Bangkok.

Please remain seated until the
engines are stopped. Thanks.

- I'm going to bed.
- Wait, we're coming too.

Crazy, that's what i am.

A great crazy idiot.

A blasted idiot!

You must bait the hook
to catch the fish.

There are six rules: Take interest
In the problems of others...

I haven't done that.

Smile.

I haven't smiled.

For a man or woman the sweetest
sounding name of all is his own.

I didn't ask her what her name was.

Know how to listen, let
others talk about themselves.

I've always talked about myself.

Learn to int??? ...our interlocutor.

She didn't understand what i said.

Help others to believe
they're important.

Did i?

I think so.

But it didn't work.

Now where have you taken us?

The floating market you said.

- I simply can't move on.
- Move away a bit.

What a smell there is...

What are you a..ing? Coming

Look, we're tired, we're going back.

I was afraid i wouldn't see you again.
You use this thing very well.

It's not very difficult.

For a Rheingold girl, everything ...??

I'm always wrong. ?? get it
out of focus with??

No, but let me see yours.

It's a wonderful camera,
very luminous lenses.

What film do you use?

- The same as mine.
- What happens to me?

I don't know. Here.

Let's see..

There, look there.

- Like this?
- ???

Not like that, with this light
you need a 16th.

That's it. Now try.

Try and photograph...

...?? giant over there.

Work it out ...?? infinity.

Wait a minute.

By the way, what's your name?

Anna Maria! A beautiful name.

It's late you know. I ought to go.
Goodbye.

Going to the hotel? Which one?

What a coincidence!
I'm there too. I'll take you.

No, i have friends waiting me
here, thanks, goodbye.

If you like...

Really i must go, it's late.

- Where are you going?
- To bed.

- Stay a bit.
- Didn't you order a beer?

Not important.

What do you want with me?

- All women are alike Marianna.
- Just found that out?

Anyhow, my name's Annamaria.

No, forgive me, please.

What are you doing?

Maybe i drank too much,
will you forgive me?

Yes, but then you must let me go.

First tell me you forgive me.

I forgive you.

If i'm forgiven, why are you going away?

Because i'm tired, i'm sleepy
and i want to go to bed.

Then leave me your scarf.

Take it!

Don't you understand, i love you?

You don't know what you're saying,
please leave me alone.

I'm in love with you Maria...

Let me go!

Please leave me alone!

Let me go!

Try to get up, come on.

Be good, calm down.

Quiet, you'll get everybody up.

Come on, be good

Try and get up, do.

That's the way, well done.

I'll help you, eh?

You must freshen up your face.

That's it, that's a good boy...

Be good... Be good...

Take off your coat.

That's the way...

Let my hands go...

Yes, i forgive you, but calm down.

See you tomorrow, go to bed.

We'll talk about it tomorrow,
go on like a good boy.

What are you doing?
Come on, get up.

I need ??

I feel terrible ?? help me.

Don't make a noise,
you'll wake everybody up.

Alright, i'll help you, calm down.
I'll help you.

- How do you feel? Better?
- Much better.

That's it, keep still.

I'll stay here, try and sleep.
Rest a little.

I shan't go away, i'll stay here.

Look at his face!

What are you doing? Let me
see or i can't understand.

Then go away and be quick about it.

Rotten swine!

Here, it's finished.

How do you stop this thing?

It's finished! Carlo!

Keep still. I've seen it.

- Do you want to see the other bit?
- No, that's enough.

Look, that American is psychopathic.

I'd call him "dirty-minded"!

There are various types of psychopaths,
you are one yourself. If this Joe...

Swine!

No, i'm talking about Joe.

Will you let me finish?

If, as i read, this Joe muddled
up names, it's evident.

It's a minimum but exact symptom.

Then there's the scarf, typical:
he's a fetishist.

Then: his carriage, one shoulder
lower than the other, his behavior,

the Rheingold girl, his crying,
his violence. In short,

the diagnosis is exact...

He's a psychopath with
an Oedipus Complex.

- A sex maniac?
- Yes, who instead of looking at films...

- prefers to get his hands on the original.
- Probably at this very moment.

Naturally, and he'll get drunk and cry,
undoubtly he has his own technique.

- He might kiss her!
- Or even strangle her.

America and Britain are full
of maniacal stranglers!

There is room for one more!

She must get her
friends to protect her.

- Or else...
- But no! She'd never do that!

She'd rather die than do such
a thing. What am i to do?

If you give me a chance,
i'll tell you.

Now: he, the American...

...is in love with Annamaria
because of her shyness,

because she's reserved, honest, clean,

maternal...

Certainly the job of hostess
has contributed.

Kindness, protective security.

- We could ask the ambassador's help.
- Why not appeal to the U.N.?!

Here: if Annamaria transforms
herself, changes her hair style,

the color of her hair,

and wears tight dresses to
show off her curves, you see?

To show off her figure?

But certainly, it's important!

The poor girl, it's not a fault...

she's so reserved, so decent,
above all with you...

But if she loses her chaste
appearance, her maternal airs...

- Then i'll leave her!
- ...Joe will scared and beat it.

You think he's attracted by her chastity?

Yes, just like you!

Annamaria! What have you done?

I was tired of the same face,
that's all!

- You look better!
- You look lovely, you really do.

Listen, what are you
doing hiding away?

Just a minute.

She's gone off her head.

What will happen when her
Calabrian fianc�e sees her like that?

Can i take a cigarette?

It's hot today, isn't it?

Want a drink?
What about a dance?

- What have you done?
- I'll tell you later.

Please stay close to me.

If you knew how ashamed i am.

This absurd story described the
consequences, both absurd and

unpredictable of an atomic feature
which may already have begun.

These are the effects we may find
without anybody realizing it.

Terrible explosions may
transform men insidiously...

...and from one moment to another
we too may be contaminated.

There will be small changes
which will inevitably destroy us.

The city hadn't changed,

but Alessandra had.

And i didn't know it yet.

It had been a year of fear,

or rather of feelings for which
there is no name on earth.

Prodigies and unusual happenings
had occurred,

on land and sea.

But on second thoughts
the city had changed.

And i hadn't realized it.

Of course it would take time
for me to notice the change.

But let's recount the facts
in order, simply and logically,

if simplicity and logic
still mean something.

I loved Alessandra deeply.

I had met her a few months before.

After that meeting,
my passion became fatal.

In spite of her sweetness,

Alessandra resisted me
for a long time.

At last one evening, it must have
been the end of November,

there was a freezing cold wind,

one evening in a quiet voice,

Alessandra admitted she loved me.

For many days,
i hadn't closed an eye.

That evening i fell
into a deep sleep...

...which lasted for two days.

ENORMOUS ATOMIC EXPLOSION
120,000 METERS ABOVE PARIS

ENORMOUS ATOMIC EXPLOSION
120,000 METERS ABOVE PARIS

After the terrible news,
in a panic of fear,

i telephoned to Alessandra.

But she was calm and we decided
to meet in a quarter of an hour.

I waited for her the whole morning.

I telephoned to her again,

but she had gone to the pool.

Little by little i became jealous,

Only now do i see how that
stopped me reasoning clearly.

I ought to have understood that all
this was only the consequences...

...of the end of the world.

We went home in silence.

She seemed subdued
as she prepared dinner.

Something had changed in her.

But if she didn't really loved me
any more, before separating,

i had to know the reason why.

And it seems normal to you?

There's some Coca Cola if you want.

Aren't you going to tell me
why you didn't come?

Didn't i come?

No, you didn't come.

Really, Alessandra, what's
happening, i don't understand.

What's happening?

I'm asking you.

I tell you i don't understand.

You might say something.

There's some Coca Cola if you want.

Won't you tell me
why you didn't come?

I told you, i went to the pool.

But you didn't say it.

I didn't know.

What didn't you know?

The appointment or the pool?

What didn't i know?

That's what i'm saying.

Yes, you're saying it.

Are you crazy?

Oh, i didn't hurt you.

You did hurt me.

Why don't you love me any more?

I ex-love you.

Who was that type at the pool?

The one i put my arms round?

I don't know, i never
saw him before.

Are you busy tomorrow morning?

No, i have nothing on.

Then you'll sleep here?

Absolutely.

Why "absolutely"?

One says "evidently".

Evidently?

What does that mean?

Clear, logical.

Logical? What does that mean?

And you...

Do you feel ex-love for me?

Yes.

Alessandra was with me again,
close and desirable.

And that was all i care about.

And so i decided to explain
things the next day.

So i went out early taking advantage
of Alessandra's sleepiness

to arrange some business and
come back and lie down by her.

And that's how i realized
the city had changed.

But i didn't realize exactly
what had taken place,

what damage the explosion
had caused,

what had changed in Alessandra.

Something strange had touched
the city, the streets, the cafes.

The people were seized
by a mysterious hysteria.

They made large use of pills
which were surely bad.

It was obvious that an obscure
and terrible ill was slowly...

...corrupting the human mind.

Even if everything seemed...

...to have stayed the same.

In the person i loved, every moral
sense had suddenly gone, or worse,

that sense of freedom was
lacking which yesterday,

the last of man still had.

Up already?

Absolutely.

- Have you something to do?
- Yes, i have to go out.

Last night you said...

NO DANGER AFTER
THE ATOMIC EXPLOSION

Where are you going?
To the pool?

No, not today.

Shall we have lunch together?

What are you looking for?

My lipstick.

Will you come?

I don't know.

But just now you said yes.

What are you going to do?

I have to see Elisabetta.

I don't believe you.

Call her up, you'll see.

Hello Elisabetta, one minute,
here is Alessandra.

At the opera?

Perhaps, alright.

Shall we eat together afterwards?

What? She'll come but she
doesn't know if she'll come?

Bye, see you soon.

Yes...

I... ex-love you.

And now for a good piece of news.

Everything leads us to hope
that nothing has changed.

Information will be given
in our next bulletin.

The new world has begun.

And a miracle has saved me.

But i too may be contaminated
to the ghastly mechanicalness,

the death of logic.

That's why i've written these
words in this notebook.

One day they'll be read
with curiosity as the last...

...testimony of the world of freedom.

It's not difficult to predict
for this story of mine

biased, ambiguous
and scandalized judgments.

In any case, I want to state here and now
that however La ricotta is taken,

the story of the Passion,
which La ricotta indirectly recalls,

is for me the greatest event
that has ever happened

and the books that recount it
the most sublime ever written.

Damn it.

Got a temperature?

Stracci, you're finished.

Yes, of course.

I slept outside Last night.
The garbage man woke me up.

Then you're not eating?

Not eating? Yeah, right.

Better hide your lunch,
or I'II eat that too.

What did you say?

That reminds me: The wife and kids
are coming to eat today.

Who knows what saint will help me.

You've got your pick here today.

With all these saints,
it's like a museum around here!

Anything wrong with the saints?

St. Sly there stole from God
to feed the dog.

Just look how it eats:

caviar, steak...

Saints, did you eat
the whole Last Supper?

I'm a poor starving man.

Nothing left? You ate it all?

Shut up
or I'II excommunicate you.

The crown.

The crown!

Places, everyone! We're ready!

The record!

Not that one!

You're worse than the men
who rolled dice at the foot of the cross!

Publicans! Blasphemers!

The Scarlatti record!

Camera!

2050, take one.

Action!

Come on, prompter.
Do your job.

O sorrowing spirit.

O bewildered mother's son.

O desperate mother's son.

O martyred son.

O chaste, rose-pink son.

O peerless Son.

No, Valentina!

What's with that face?
This isn't the Com�die Fran�aise!

Action!

O sorrowing spirit.

O bewildered mother's son.

O bewildered mother's son.

O martyred son.

Get the Negro out of there!

Sonia, remember
you're at Christ's feet!

Stop thinking about your dog!

Camera!

2,050, take three.

Action.

Prompter, wake up!

O sorrowing spirit...

Half-wits! Now we'll have
to start all over again!

Sonia, step out please.
We've got to start again.

- Camera.
- 2,050, take four.

Action.

Amorosi, stop picking your nose
and take your position!

Giovanni, did you get some lunch?

Here it is.

Eat up.

- What about you?
- Me?

I'm out of luck, as usual.

What can you do?

Enjoy it.

Thanks, Giovanni.
See you tonight.

- Where are you going?
- I've got business.

I'm gonna get work as an extra.

- Where are you going?
- I've got business too.

Finished the whole thing already?

What an appetite!

I want to go to Terracina

And have lunch on the plain

I'll eat a cow whole
and a sheep still in its wool

You look like my dad.

Idiot.

Hey, you bastard!

That's my lunch!

Damn you!

Drop my lunch
or I'll throttle you,

you dirty thief!

Bastard!

Think that was a nice thing to do?

Think you're better than me
'cause you belong to a star?

May I have a word?

Excuse me.
I hope I'm not disturbing.

I'm a journalist.

Go on.

I'd like to get a little interview.

- No more than four questions.
- Thanks.

First: What do you mean to express
with this new work?

My intimate, profound,

archaic Catholicism.

What do you think
of Italian society?

The most illiterate masses

and the most ignorant
bourgeoisie in Europe.

And what do you think of death?

As a Marxist,
I never give it any thought.

Fourth and last question:

What do you think of
our great director Federico Fellini?

He dances.

He dances.

Thank you, congratulations
and good-bye.

"I am a force from the Past...''

It's a poem.

In the first part, the poet describes
certain ancient ruins

whose style and history
no one any longer understands,

and certain hideous modern buildings
that everyone understands.

Then he resumes:

"I am a force from the Past.

Tradition is my only love.

I come from the ruins, churches,

altarpieces, forgotten hamlets

in the Appenines
and the foothills of the Alps

where dwell our brothers.

I walk the Tuscolana Way
like a madman,

the Appian Way
like a dog without a master.

I behold the twilight,
the mornings over Rome,

over Ciociaria,

over the world,

like the first acts of post-history,

which I witness
by privilege of birth

from the utmost edge
of some buried age.

Monstrous is the man born

from the bowels of a dead woman.

And I,

adult fetus,

wander, more modern
than any modern...

in search of brothers...

who are no more.''

Did you understand anything?

Sure, a lot.

You walk the Tuscolana Way...

Write down what I tell you.

You understood nothing
because you're an average man, right?

Well, yeah.

But you don't know
what an average man is.

He's a monster.

A dangerous criminal.

Conformist,

colonialist,

racist,

slave trader,

a mediocrity!

Have you got a bad heart?

No, thank God.

Too bad, because if you
were to drop dead right here,

it'd be good publicity
for the film's release.

You don't exist anyway.

Capital acknowledges
the existence of labor

only insofar as it serves production.

And the producer of my film
is the owner of your paper as well.

Good-bye.

- What are you doing picking flowers?
- Nothing else to do.

Nothing else to do.

- And what are you waiting for?
- That's our business.

Your business.

What a nice dog.
What kind is it?

What breed is it?
A Pomeranian?

He's adorable.

What's his name?

Bastard.

He's so sweet.
If he could just talk, he'd be perfect.

You like him?

A lot!

- Want to make a deal?
- What kind of deal?

I'll sell him to you.

I don't have much on me.
Will you take a check?

Give me a thousand lira
and we'll call it even.

I've got a thousand lira.
Here.

Cheese man!

I'II buy all you've got!

The repentant thief!

Places please, we are late!

Get out of the wardrobe, hurry!

Record, please.

No, not that misbelievers,
no, not that!

Remember, the director
wants you motionless.

442, take one.

Action!

Not like that, do it again...
More rupture, more piety...

I told you to keep still!

Stop waving those arms around

You're a figure on an altarpiece.
You got that?

What a shame! What a shame!

I'll bash your heads in,
you lazy cowards!

You have no respect,
you blasphemers!

Yes, ma'am, yes.

Let's start again.

Camera!

Imploring, you hear?
And keep still!

- 442, take two.
- Action!

There goes the sun.

Farewell, Phoebus.

The repentant thief!

The repentant thief!

The repentant thief!
The repentant thief!

Nail them up.

- Nail them up!
- Here i am.

Come on slaves, nail me up.

Climb on and I'II nail
you down good.

Boy, i ate too much.
My stomach's about to explode.

- Did you eat, Stracci?
- What kind of question is that?

Here, Stracci, have a bite.

Carry the crosses up.

You thirsty? Want a drink?

Natalina!

Come here a minute.

What do you want?

Don't make a fuss.
Come here.

Listen, do us a favor.

Do a striptease for us.
See Stracci over there?

You have to do it in front of him.

It'll be worth it...

We'll pay you. Come on.

Give us a tune.

Play something Arabian.

What are you waiting for?

Start stripping.

Silence!

Musician, don't swallow
your instrument!

- Begone, she-devil!
- Flower of the orient!

Ali Baba's mistress!

Carry the crosses up.

Carry the crosses up.

Carry the crosses up.

Carry the crosses up.

Get a move on with those crosses!
You're like slugs this morning!

We ought to have a whip!

Run! Come on, run!

Start the record, please.

Come with me.

Ettore, you're some angel!
What are you doing?

I can try, can't i?

Spread your wings and we'll fly!

She's the one who should have
done the striptease.

What scene are you setting up?

Listen, darling, you shoot my scene
or I take off. Fair is fair.

Right. I'd forgotten.

- Do the other scene.
- Do the other scene.

- Do the other scene.
- Do the other scene.

- Do the other scene.
- Do the other scene.

Do the other scene.

Leave them nailed up.

Leave them nailed up.
Leave them nailed up.

Take it easy.

I'm hungry. I'm hungry.

Now i'm going to blaspheme.

Just try it and see what i give you.

A fine Christ you are. You think
I've got no right to grumble?

Suit yourself, but I won't take you
into the Kingdom of Heaven.

I could be okay in the
Kingdom of the Earth.

Especially now that
your party's in power.

As if yours is any better?
They're all the same.

I don't get you.
You're always hungry,

yet you stay with those who starve you.

Some have one calling,
others another.

My calling must have been to starve.

Unnail them.

Unnail them! Unnail them!

How funny!

It's "The Stracci Show''!

Give him something good to eat!

Suck on these!

Watch out for the little chicks!

Here, rinse your mouth out.

That's enough appetizers.
Have some spaghetti

The lightning and thunder!
Quick, you idiot!

Let's have some thunder now!

Wind! Now the wind!

So you finally found us
in this wasteland!

Hey, Stracci, you remember your line?

Don't mess up now!
AII the press from Rome is here!

The producer's here!
You understand?

Politicians, actors and actresses,
journalists...

Come on. Let's hear your line.

"Lord, remember me when
Thou comest into Thy Kingdom.''

Once again!

Come on!
What are you waiting for?

"Lord, remember me...

...when Thou comest into Thy Kingdom."

Quiet.

- Quiet! We're shooting!
- Quiet!

- Quiet!
- Quiet!

Camera.

2150, take one.

Action!

Action!

Come on, Stracci.

"Lord, remember me...

Action!

Action!

What's the matter with him?

He's dead.

Poor Stracci.

He had to die to remind us
that he too was alive.

As a stake sticketh fast in the midst
of the joining of stones, so also,

in the midst of selling and
buying sin shall stick fast.

Good morning. I'm a
member of the congress.

Prof. Pizzorno is an illustrious
coworker of Prof. Allen's.

In Italy, he intends to open
a Center of Applied Sociology

to the publicity sector of consumption.

The subject of his paper is,

Production development and
increase in consumption.

New perspectives offered
through knowledge...

...of the secret ego of the consumer.

We are grateful to him for
accepting our invitation,

in spite of a temporary affection
of the vocal chords

which impedes his
expressing himself.

And now, here's Prof. Pizzorno.

Who is the average consumer?

The italian of the economic
miracle, who in a few years,

has doubled his income and
overcome the psychological...

...impediment of saving.

Stimulated by the most
obvious incentives,

such as, example, emulation,
publicity, purchasing facilities.

This average consumer
is an incalculable reservoir

which may permit production
to maintain the levels achieved

and surpass them triumphantly,

provided he is constantly controlled

and studied, surveyed,

incited and driven.

Nineteen.

Twenty.

Twenty one.

Twenty two.

Twenty three.

And twenty four.

I am relying on you.

Rest assured, it's one of the
most successful models.

Got me!

Who are you today?
Sheppard? Nembo Kid?

You are the masked bandit.

- Buffalo Bill?
- Who's that?

Well, i give up.

I am Pasolini!

Splendid!

- It's terrific.
- It doesn't work.

- How come it doesn't work?
- You can only hear the sound.

Have you tried with
the remote control?

That's enough!

Will you stop it please?
Thanks.

You see? It's magnificent.

We'll watch the publicity with the
new set and then go to sleep.

Put it back.

Superduper!

How much did they
give for the old one?

Thirty thousand.

But it was almost new!

Superceded, we can be
glad they even took it.

Topo Gigio!

Mama, but it's cold.

You can't sleep in this
big town house.

You see it's like ours.

The house is so big,

The circumference is
too wide for me.

I'm going. I'm going
to break my lease.

Fore!

Topo Gigio's hurt himself.

- What a bash!
- No, look! He's got up.

Here, now it's different.
It'll do.

A bit wee, but very cosy.

No, you can't stay in here.

What on earth are you saying?

No, nobody has bought you
the new super television

Twenty Four! Easy to move,
ultra thin!

So you must put up with the
super television Thirty Three,

panoramic and gigantic.

Poor Topo Gigio...

Look what they've done to him.

The little house for the country.

Please kiddies, you help me...

I want to have a little
house that's smaller.

Daddy, look what they've
done to Topo Gigio.

Don't listen, he's an idiot!

The psychological ageing
of the product...

is perhaps the main
ally of our industry.

In a conjuncture such as the present,

which represents in large
strata of consumers...

the danger of a complete
glut on the market.

To underrate the danger...

would mean ignoring...

industry's problem number one.

which is to avoid at all costs...

a drop in production.

So you gentlemen must
always keep studying...

new publicity campaigns...

to arouse fresh desires
and fresh needs...

and provoke something
like a state of...

systematic discontent in the consumer.

If you get a box of "Tide"

your skin'll be your joy and pride.

What?

Pell mell! Fill up with "Shell".

Relief from pain, put
"Harpic" down the drain.

"Kraft" is draft.

If there's anything that gets my goat,
it's swilling "Lysol" down my throat.

Oh, put a sock in it, can't you?

Come on, we can't hear.

Here it is.

Well done.

And what's this?

Look at that! Fool, idiot!

Go to hell, potential killers!

I hope they have a smash.

Not kill themselves perhaps...

The car broken up anyhow.

And crippled for life.

There! That's what you're
mad about, the 1800.

How much could you
trade this in for?

Three hundred thousand.

Well, with this and a million...

Not enough. The 1800 costs
one million seven hundred.

Eight hundred and
thirty on the road.

Then we want the million for
the down payment on the land.

Why don't you pass
him, you slob!

Do you think the land's worth it?

No one can stop us looking
at it after the lunch.

Get a move on!

They go at walking speed
with a 1800, i'll settle him.

He doesn't even make a signal!

Swine!

Beast!

Damned old fool!

Typical old idiot who can't drive!

Go into an old folks' home!

Silly old fool.

Had to wait for a string
of cars before passing.

And what does he want?

You can't pass now.

Did the doctor order you to
pass me? Stay where you are.

He's alongside. Let him
pass or he'll be killed!

What do you want? Get on!

You've found the mug
who lets you pass!

Oh my god!

Don't look, keep calm,
he is going now.

What about the children?

Did they see?

Look, will you?

Was he young?

Typical cyclist. He must
have been dead.

I wouldn't have the nerve
to pick him up even.

You have to. Failure
to give assistance...

And the blood?

Soap and water takes
it off plastic seats.

The seats of the Mercedes
are made of stuff.

They'll pay him for damages.

They don't have to.
He did it voluntarily.

The corpse... The victim might say:

"Did i ask you to do it?"

They are stupid things
but they count.

Here's the toll road.

- Who are you today, Nembo Kid?
- Superman!

He was Dracula before.

You don't think
our son is mad?

- Here's the restaurant.
- Let's hope there's room.

Here's one free.

Sorry, is that table free?

You can't come in
this way, sir.

- Isn't that a door?

No, you have to go down
and come from the other side.

- But that table's free.
- No, sir, not this way.

-But why?
- Don' you see the sign?

- What sign?
- Don't you recognize it?

Who on earth cares
about the sign?

Alright, come on.

Let's hope we can go this way.

I think they're raving mad.

I'd like to see the man
who built this.

You have to go around
the whole building...

to go in at that door,
they are raving.

What's the matter?

I can't get it away from her.

Don't make a scene. We'll buy
it and say no more about it.

I want something too.

Well, take something but get on.

Come on, we'll do them all.

This...

And this one with the almonds.

The machine gun!

I might even have a present too.

They're alright for driving.

Get something yourself.

What's this?

Perhaps it's for bread or fruit.

An instrument perhaps.

Do you have to take it all?

It has been found...

that the absence of the physical
person of the intermediary,

that is the salesgirl,

eliminating the need
for prior choice...

and making the demand...

produces in consumer...

a feeling of liberation and
emotional happiness...

which permits the impulses
of the subconscious...

to outcrop without inhibitations...

and to be translated into purchases...

more often than not
superfluous or useless.

Perhaps common sense
prevails again...

at the cash desk...

but by then it's too late

How much?

Haven't you finished?

Just a minute. Here we've got
15,000 liras for biscuits.

Come and help me.

With the children?

Look, you're all covered in butter!

Where shall i put it?

Disgusting!

- Have you made up your mind?
- I've just got the menu.

- Anyway, i don't understand anything.
- We have two combinations, sir.

Number 1 : asparagus, ham, cantaloups,
baked meat, wine, bread, fruit and caramel.

Number 2: two fried eggs, wine,
bread, fruit, caramel.

- Is egg from barnyard chicken?
- Scientifically reared, sir.

If you don't mind, i'll serve
the others while you decide.

Daddy, what does barnyard mean?

What is it?

Now i'll explain.

The barnyard fowl is free,
it lives in the country...

as it likes without standards.

It eats when it can and
sleeps when it likes.

There are few left.

Not so the scientific one.
It just lives in a hutch,

and grows so much every day.

Why do you prefer
the barnyard one?

It's more tasty.

Perhaps because it eats
with more appetite,

it eats what it likes, even
dirt when it finds it.

And it doesn't eat
if it doesn't want to,

or else it gorges itself.

Then it's an intolerant
chicken, it runs,

goes with the hens,
pecks and flies away.

Like a coyote?

- A coyote?
- Yes, like a coyote.

In short, it's his free will..

that makes it more tasty.

Not so the scientifically reared
chicken. Just think...

from when it's little, a chick,

it's put in its cage and
accustomed to discipline.

It doesn't decide anything anymore,

it does what it's told to do.

Red light: wake, green light: eat.

Bell: that's enough.

And so on, do you see?

But its life is assured and
it fattens scientifically.

What works is its subconscious.

You don't understand. Anyway
it doesn't decide.

Perhaps that way it's less tasty.

Have you decided?

Yes, the second combination
but with just one egg.

Two eggs.

Well, bring me one.

The second combination
is with two eggs.

I'll pay for two, bring me one.

I'm sorry but i must bring two.

Well then, throw one of
them under the table.

Very well, sir.

I don't like her at all.

- Isn't it further on?
- It must be just here.

The Lombardy Switzerland

RESIDENTIAL CENTRE
LAST PLOTS FOR SALE

Look, blackamoors!

- And the lake?
- It's behind the mountain.

Excuse me, is this where
the plots on the lake are?

Belonging to a certain Mr. Cotto?

Can one see them?

Nasty, is he the owner?

Caretaker, you can see
he's not from these parts.

Good afternoon, Mr. Cotto?

Perhaps it's his car,
but where is he?

Must we look for him ourselves?

Certainly this can't increase sales.

I'll leave the children here.

Listen, is it dangerous
for the children here?

He shook his head.

Stay here and be good
and don't run away!

Wait for me!

With my legs bent like this
With my legs bent like this

I dance the twist.

Do you know why my hands
are whiter than yours?

Because they're washed with "Omo".

Then i'll wait for your
confirmation, bye.

Cotto!

Have you come for the plots?

The estate covers an area of
28,000 sq. meters...

subdivided into 24 plots of 1,000
to 1,100 and 1,200.

We shall provide the road and
water, light, power and all that.

Where have they got to?

Prices: 8, 9, 10 thousand
per square meter

8,000 low down, 9,000 half
way, 10,000 high up.

Payments in cash, in our interests
and those of the client.

Facilities: a third at once,
a third on signing.

For the remainder...

Stop him a minute please.

You must have been with Giant
Racers, there's a lady here.

Cotto, good afternoon, Madam.

Expenses cover enrolment
tax, deed of sale...

bond charges, interest
and mortgage.

Availability: scarce.

Just now land is going
like hot cakes,

they are going like wildfire.

There's something there,
half way, in the pine trees.

The stakes mark the 1,000 meter plot.

But look, nobody buys a thousand
meters, and i advise you,

not to buy the thousand, madam!

Why?

Because they've all taken
three, five and six thousand.

But you need the brass!

It's a question of psychology,
tomorrow you'll be uneasy...

with a thousand, discontented.

Look there, Prof. Sanvittorio,

has bought six thousand,
a fine plot!

There are two lots free
in the pines there.

Those...

Let's go and see.

We can't even cover the
charges with a million!

Why do we never have
enough for anything?

Do you suppose this
is the pine wood?

You could join two plots
together in one...

and have the view of the pine wood
with pretty well a private road to it.

Just think of the splendour
of this place in 30 years.

With these plantations,
it will be a paradise!

Yes, but the method of payment...

I don't know, we could
see for example,

a million down, and...
and perhaps the rest...

Yes, the remainder on signing.

No, a million down and the
remainder in small instalments.

I don't think the company would
agree to that proposition,

You see, for a choice clientele,

it's in your own interests.

With a million down payment,
any piece here...

could appeal to certain types.

I'd really advise against it.

The trend today...

is the opposite,
because of planning.

You know, one has to unload,

invest, invest,

provide for devaluation.

People are like that today,

they're afraid, money
burns in their hands!

Look what Prof. Sanvittorio did.

He pulled out his forty million...

like a shot! All down payment!

Certainly for a professor like him...

to write a cheque for 10 million...

for you or me would be like a
million. I'll show you the plot.

Why not tell him we've
only got a million?

You're mad. He might
not believe us.

You know the Professor?

Perhaps you know him better.
Madam, you go ahead.

Derma...

syphilopathologist...

A first class position,
he earns whatever he likes.

I'm told in confidence that
he has a very rich clientele.

Important people, professional
men, big names!

All with syphilis!

It's a general disease nowadays
with the new law...

which instead of reducing
has increased certain things.

It's all money for him.

Who is this Professor?

Certainly a man who earns
more than i do!

...the Lord be thanked!

There's money in the world,
i don't know how they make it.

They either steal or i'm mad.
It's damned cold here.

Have you forgotten
how it was before?

And where does the money go?
I know alright...

In your ideas of economy.

So it's my fault, is it?

Yours. You must admit you're
not so careful as you were,

when you used to make accounts.
What do you do with it?

It goes on your instalments!

Oh, mine and on yours for
your fur coat, don't forget.

This way.

There, look at the lake.

It's marvelous.

There's a wind.

It's nothing but a breeze.

That's where the Professor is
going to build his cottage.

What, have they been
sowing here?

He refuses to understand,
he's mad about planting.

The damned caretaker
is sabotaging me.

If the Professor comes
what shall i say to him?

What's happened?

What shall i say when he
finds a kitchen garden...

instead of his plot!

I'll sack that lazy brute!

Criminal! Lazy peasant! Swine!

Look how nice. What a shame...

Who's he got it in for?

The one who planted cabbages
on the skin doctor's land.

What's wrong with that?

Just think, planting cabbages
on the 12,000 lira land.

But they haven't built it yet.

Never mind,
it's the fact in itself.

Against historical sense,

to plant cabbages here means
understanding nothing.

Nothing of the ECM, the economic
miracle, the evolution of our times.

He's a man who doesn't
live in our period.

Let him get a job in a factory
where they need workers.

And then cabbages come
from Siberia, so what?

How he must have sweated,
poor man, to plant them?

He's played him a rotten trick,

what does he care about
these cabbages?

Or about our million?

Well, why don't we cock a
snook at him ourselves?

Yes, let him keep the land,
the lake, the mortgage,

the cottage, the agrarian
credit, who cares?

Really?

The syphilis merchant has 4 plots
on the lake, who cares!

Why should we ruin our Sunday?
And other days for 1000 filthy...

dirty, rotten, syphilitic square meters

of this putrid, stinking, boggy land.

Who cares?

Who cares?

Yes, talk as much as you like.

And now, who'll tell him?

You, not me.

No, of course not.

I can't after the time
i've made him waste.

He'll go off his head.

Come with me.

Pretend not to notice.

Let's get out of here,
don't let him see.

We don't know him and we shan't
see him again, who cares?

Don't look round, run. Hurry!

Come on, we're leaving.

What are you doing there still?

Come on!

Who are you today, Nembo Kid?

I saw him coming out of the lake
with wings a hundred yards long,

and flames in his eyes
and he flew away.

But who's he? Do you know?

The barnyard fowl.

It should never be forgotten
that the customer...

is only a mixture of impulses,

and unconscious motivations...

to direct towards consumption ends.

Often by relying too much
on the unconscious,

we underrate the conscious,
reason, prudence,

modesty, sentiment, common sense...

which are also factors
of the first order...

and we are faced with failures...

which we cannot understand.

In this case however,
it'll be unadvisable...

to fall a prey to pessimism...

and we must always bear in mind...

that by now the consumer
is conditioned by himself,

and that competitive drive...

that we have managed to impose
upon society, by now...

is part of his nature
and of his ego...

and stimulates him to higher
and higher goals...

Are you crying?

What? I can see you.

Are you cross?

Then why are you crying?

You're not cross?

I'd forgotten what you look
like when you cry.

How long is it since you cried?
Five or six years?

I don't remember.

Once you used to cry for nothing,

and you made me sad too.

Once it was better
than it is now.

Is that why we used to cry?

People think it's the
opposite, but it isn't.

You won't say i'm a sadist
if i say something?

I'm glad you're crying.

10,000 a square meter.

One million on signing.

A view of the lake.

At seventy still in Milan.

View of the Buisa.

Rest assured, the most
successful model of the year.

Cursed Topo Gigio.

Dip your lights!

1800 super light.

300,000 liras for crap
that doesn't go.

1800 super light.

Super light.

Super light!

Super light!

The German Consul.