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1
00:00:24,666 --> 00:00:27,209
- No.
- Mmmm hmmm.
2
00:00:27,250 --> 00:00:29,417
It's like 4 AM.
3
00:00:29,459 --> 00:00:30,958
It's 8:30.
4
00:00:31,666 --> 00:00:32,833
Fuck me!
5
00:00:32,875 --> 00:00:33,875
I'm trying.
6
00:00:35,292 --> 00:00:36,833
No, I'm supposed to be at the gallery.
7
00:00:36,875 --> 00:00:38,625
I was to open today.
8
00:00:38,666 --> 00:00:40,209
It's a lot of responsibility.
9
00:00:40,250 --> 00:00:42,708
- If I'm not there...
- What?
10
00:00:42,750 --> 00:00:44,083
Nobody will be there.
11
00:00:44,125 --> 00:00:46,583
Nobody is ever there. You
sell everything online.
12
00:00:48,209 --> 00:00:49,292
It's been like a week.
13
00:00:50,417 --> 00:00:52,000
Yeah, well...
14
00:00:52,042 --> 00:00:54,583
Today might be the day. Who knows?
15
00:00:54,625 --> 00:00:56,791
Doorbusters. People die.
16
00:00:56,833 --> 00:00:59,666
People get trampled.
I've seen YouTube videos.
17
00:01:00,833 --> 00:01:02,292
- I'll see you at lunch.
- Lunch?
18
00:01:04,417 --> 00:01:07,541
Yeah, Thom... Lunch.
19
00:01:07,583 --> 00:01:10,334
My mom's coming into town
and we're getting lunch.
20
00:01:10,375 --> 00:01:12,125
But I got scheduled for work.
21
00:01:12,167 --> 00:01:14,750
- You give it up.
- Nice try, but you give it up.
22
00:01:14,791 --> 00:01:17,334
You call somebody right now
and you give up your shift.
23
00:01:17,375 --> 00:01:18,541
Fine, I'll give it up.
24
00:01:18,583 --> 00:01:19,875
Yeah, you will.
25
00:01:21,583 --> 00:01:23,292
Nope! Nope, sorry.
26
00:01:50,209 --> 00:01:51,583
Hey, Mia.
27
00:01:51,625 --> 00:01:55,791
Hey, um, I was wondering
if you could take my...
28
00:01:55,833 --> 00:01:58,334
Yeah, I know it's lunch.
It's just you're my favorite.
29
00:02:01,209 --> 00:02:02,583
Alright, fine.
30
00:02:02,625 --> 00:02:03,917
Twenty bucks.
31
00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:20,555
Do we have any ice cream?
32
00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:23,472
No, sorry.
33
00:02:23,514 --> 00:02:25,639
What about pizza rolls?
Do we have pizza rolls?
34
00:02:25,721 --> 00:02:28,055
No, sorry.
35
00:02:28,097 --> 00:02:29,805
I think we have some kale.
36
00:02:29,846 --> 00:02:32,389
I always date hipsters.
37
00:02:32,430 --> 00:02:35,180
We're all the same to you, huh?
38
00:02:35,222 --> 00:02:36,846
Hey, no.
39
00:02:36,888 --> 00:02:39,805
This is like only my longest
relationship, you know?
40
00:02:39,846 --> 00:02:40,846
- It is?
- Mmm-hmm.
41
00:02:40,846 --> 00:02:42,805
It's shocking, right?
42
00:02:42,846 --> 00:02:45,013
- Well...
- Okay, come on.
43
00:02:45,055 --> 00:02:46,597
You know it's shocking.
44
00:02:46,639 --> 00:02:48,597
It's my shortest, actually.
45
00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:50,680
- Really?
- Yeah.
46
00:02:50,721 --> 00:02:52,680
- Two with Sara.
- Mmm-hmm.
47
00:02:52,721 --> 00:02:53,888
High school.
48
00:02:53,930 --> 00:02:56,055
Three with Chien-Ming.
49
00:02:56,097 --> 00:02:57,514
Two with Dawn.
50
00:02:57,555 --> 00:02:59,472
I mean, I don't really
date people so, you know.
51
00:02:59,514 --> 00:03:01,472
You dated another Asian girl?
52
00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:02,888
Oh, yeah.
53
00:03:02,930 --> 00:03:04,263
Is she Chinese?
54
00:03:04,305 --> 00:03:05,305
I don't know.
55
00:03:05,347 --> 00:03:06,680
Dawn and Sara were both Korean...
56
00:03:06,721 --> 00:03:07,763
Ugh!
57
00:03:09,721 --> 00:03:11,846
I could date you for two years, maybe.
58
00:03:11,888 --> 00:03:13,846
Yeah, I could do it. Maybe even three.
59
00:03:13,888 --> 00:03:15,389
I think I could do it.
60
00:03:16,888 --> 00:03:18,055
That's the limit, apparently.
61
00:03:18,097 --> 00:03:19,971
Maybe even more, I don't know.
62
00:03:23,305 --> 00:03:24,846
I think I'd like that, Kitty.
63
00:03:30,138 --> 00:03:31,930
Babe, what's the matter?
64
00:03:31,971 --> 00:03:33,138
Are you crying?
65
00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:35,597
No. Yes. Maybe.
66
00:03:35,639 --> 00:03:37,763
I just have a lot of emotions, okay?
67
00:03:37,805 --> 00:03:40,347
Don't pay any attention to me.
68
00:03:40,389 --> 00:03:42,180
Are you upset with me?
69
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:45,097
No. I have to go to the bathroom.
70
00:04:04,555 --> 00:04:06,055
Everything okay, babe?
71
00:04:08,597 --> 00:04:12,721
Yeah, I'm just, uh... really happy.
72
00:04:21,846 --> 00:04:23,013
Where is he?
73
00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:24,597
He's on his way; he just texted.
74
00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:26,639
He texted you? The two of you text?
75
00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:28,805
Well, we're not telepathic.
So, yes, we text.
76
00:04:28,846 --> 00:04:30,846
Your father and I, we never had to text.
77
00:04:30,888 --> 00:04:32,615
That's because texting
hadn't been invented yet.
78
00:04:32,639 --> 00:04:34,055
I beg your pardon.
79
00:04:34,097 --> 00:04:35,615
Texting was around for a
few years before the divorce,
80
00:04:35,639 --> 00:04:36,846
thank you very much.
81
00:04:36,888 --> 00:04:38,805
You know, I've always
been very tech savvy.
82
00:04:38,846 --> 00:04:40,888
I tweet, I have an iPad.
83
00:04:42,597 --> 00:04:44,180
Calvin, really.
84
00:04:44,222 --> 00:04:45,763
How are things between the two of you
85
00:04:45,805 --> 00:04:47,763
since Thom published his little expos�?
86
00:04:47,805 --> 00:04:49,180
Okay, it wasn't an expos�.
87
00:04:49,222 --> 00:04:51,472
An expos� is a form of
investigative journalism.
88
00:04:51,514 --> 00:04:53,971
He was certainly investigating
something, wasn't he?
89
00:04:54,013 --> 00:04:55,472
Ahh.
90
00:04:55,514 --> 00:04:57,639
- Hey.
- There he is!
91
00:04:57,680 --> 00:04:59,013
Hi.
92
00:04:59,055 --> 00:05:00,680
Let me look at you.
93
00:05:00,721 --> 00:05:02,430
That sweater is a brave choice.
94
00:05:02,472 --> 00:05:05,097
Thank you.
95
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,055
- You need a haircut.
- I know.
96
00:05:07,097 --> 00:05:09,263
- And you need a drink.
- I do.
97
00:05:09,305 --> 00:05:10,472
Another, darling?
98
00:05:10,514 --> 00:05:11,846
Oh, I'm okay, thanks.
99
00:05:11,888 --> 00:05:13,263
That's settled. Cynthia!
100
00:05:13,305 --> 00:05:16,555
Three gin martinis.
Extra dirty. Extra gin.
101
00:05:18,721 --> 00:05:20,846
- Oh, no, I'm okay.
- Cynthia!
102
00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:21,888
Cynthia!
103
00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:23,680
I love gin.
104
00:05:25,055 --> 00:05:26,138
Cynthia!
105
00:05:28,846 --> 00:05:30,430
I love California.
106
00:05:30,472 --> 00:05:33,639
Just the weather, the
culture, the gay rights.
107
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:36,263
Well, technically the gay
rights aren't the best.
108
00:05:36,305 --> 00:05:38,097
Almost gay rights.
109
00:05:38,138 --> 00:05:40,138
Cal, I have an amazing idea.
110
00:05:40,180 --> 00:05:42,305
Why don't we all take a
trip next month up to Maine?
111
00:05:42,347 --> 00:05:43,573
I mean, it's beautiful
in the summertime,
112
00:05:43,597 --> 00:05:45,888
and you and Thom can get married.
113
00:05:45,930 --> 00:05:47,680
- Why Maine?
- Wait. What?
114
00:05:47,721 --> 00:05:49,680
Spooked you.
115
00:05:49,721 --> 00:05:51,097
But seriously though,
116
00:05:51,138 --> 00:05:52,514
I mean, I'm not surprised
117
00:05:52,555 --> 00:05:54,721
that the two of you are
opening up your relationship.
118
00:05:54,763 --> 00:05:56,138
We're what?
119
00:05:56,180 --> 00:05:58,888
Please, I read your little
expos� in France magazine.
120
00:05:58,930 --> 00:06:00,138
Mom...
121
00:06:00,180 --> 00:06:02,097
I think it's perfectly
natural that a man,
122
00:06:02,138 --> 00:06:03,514
certainly two men,
123
00:06:03,555 --> 00:06:05,763
would want to do something
a little different
124
00:06:05,805 --> 00:06:07,055
before settling down.
125
00:06:07,097 --> 00:06:08,263
Your father and I...
126
00:06:08,305 --> 00:06:09,680
Don't talk about having sex.
127
00:06:09,721 --> 00:06:11,073
I don't want to hear
about Dad having sex.
128
00:06:11,097 --> 00:06:12,846
Well, I have sex too.
129
00:06:12,888 --> 00:06:15,055
I'm a woman, and I have sex.
130
00:06:15,097 --> 00:06:16,888
Yes, we are very well aware of that.
131
00:06:16,930 --> 00:06:18,138
Damn good sex!
132
00:06:19,555 --> 00:06:21,721
Okay, for the record, I
just want you to know that...
133
00:06:21,763 --> 00:06:23,971
that that story was fiction.
134
00:06:24,013 --> 00:06:26,180
We're not opening up
our relationship, okay?
135
00:06:26,222 --> 00:06:28,347
Well, you're not cheating
on each other, right?
136
00:06:28,389 --> 00:06:30,347
Cause I cheated on your father,
137
00:06:30,389 --> 00:06:31,555
and it was the worst thing...
138
00:06:31,597 --> 00:06:33,971
Mom, stop saying things, please.
139
00:06:34,013 --> 00:06:35,989
Hey, just because you're
gay, doesn't mean every woman
140
00:06:36,013 --> 00:06:38,971
in America is gonna
stop having sex, okay?
141
00:06:39,013 --> 00:06:41,721
Wait. You're not saying that
you're breaking up, right?
142
00:06:41,763 --> 00:06:43,138
Oh, no, Val.
143
00:06:43,180 --> 00:06:45,971
Val, I promise, we are not breaking up.
144
00:06:46,013 --> 00:06:48,680
You know, because that
would actually crush me.
145
00:06:48,721 --> 00:06:49,930
It would just destroy me.
146
00:06:49,971 --> 00:06:52,097
- Mom, just stop.
- I love you, Thom.
147
00:06:52,138 --> 00:06:54,138
Stop, please. Stop, Mom, please.
148
00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:56,555
I can't believe I have to
drive back to Phoenix tonight.
149
00:06:56,597 --> 00:06:58,930
You're driving back to Phoenix tomorrow.
150
00:06:58,971 --> 00:07:00,305
I am?
151
00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:03,305
Well, that's good news.
152
00:07:05,222 --> 00:07:06,305
Cynthia!
153
00:07:08,430 --> 00:07:10,180
No. No. No.
154
00:07:10,222 --> 00:07:13,180
Sorry, sorry. Sorry.
155
00:07:13,222 --> 00:07:14,930
Yes! He's kidding.
156
00:07:50,055 --> 00:07:51,389
Gallery.
157
00:07:51,430 --> 00:07:54,013
You didn't answer your phone, asshole.
158
00:07:54,055 --> 00:07:55,389
I'm working, asshole.
159
00:07:55,430 --> 00:07:56,805
So am I.
160
00:07:56,846 --> 00:07:58,222
I just got your mom upstairs.
161
00:07:58,263 --> 00:08:00,222
She's probably raiding the mini bar.
162
00:08:00,263 --> 00:08:02,430
My boss is staring at me.
163
00:08:02,472 --> 00:08:03,846
I bet he is.
164
00:08:03,888 --> 00:08:06,222
I bet he's, like,
undressing you with his eyes.
165
00:08:06,263 --> 00:08:07,639
Come on.
166
00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:09,013
I bet his eyes are, like,
167
00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:11,180
kissing their way down your neck.
168
00:08:11,222 --> 00:08:13,597
Your chest. Your six pack.
169
00:08:13,639 --> 00:08:15,180
I don't have a six pack.
170
00:08:15,222 --> 00:08:17,805
All the way down to your cock.
171
00:08:17,846 --> 00:08:19,448
Okay, after this
morning I sincerely doubt
172
00:08:19,472 --> 00:08:21,232
I'll ever be in the
mood for that ever again,
173
00:08:21,263 --> 00:08:22,639
thank you very much.
174
00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:26,514
Our hours are 9 AM to 5
PM, Monday through Friday.
175
00:08:26,555 --> 00:08:27,888
Five PM.
176
00:08:27,930 --> 00:08:29,888
Five PM and you come straight home,
177
00:08:29,930 --> 00:08:31,239
you nasty, naughty little piece of shit.
178
00:08:31,263 --> 00:08:32,656
Thank you vey much for your call, sir.
179
00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:33,880
We look forward to your visit.
180
00:08:39,097 --> 00:08:40,180
Cal?
181
00:08:49,514 --> 00:08:51,472
What are you doing here?
182
00:08:51,514 --> 00:08:54,222
Um, looking at the art.
183
00:08:54,263 --> 00:08:55,263
Why?
184
00:08:55,263 --> 00:08:56,805
This is an art gallery.
185
00:08:56,846 --> 00:08:58,639
Okay, this isn't a museum.
186
00:08:58,680 --> 00:09:00,222
This is a place of business.
187
00:09:00,263 --> 00:09:03,639
This my place of employment, actually.
188
00:09:03,680 --> 00:09:05,097
Mmm-hmm.
189
00:09:05,138 --> 00:09:07,930
Okay. Well, I don't
even know your last name.
190
00:09:07,971 --> 00:09:11,097
So excuse me if I didn't
know that you worked here.
191
00:09:11,138 --> 00:09:12,680
I just like art.
192
00:09:12,721 --> 00:09:15,097
Well, thank you...
193
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:17,055
for supporting the arts.
194
00:09:18,347 --> 00:09:20,305
You should probably be leaving.
195
00:09:20,347 --> 00:09:22,639
Well, what if I want to buy a painting?
196
00:09:24,347 --> 00:09:26,680
Okay, well, too bad.
This is a photograph.
197
00:09:26,721 --> 00:09:28,305
- Mmmm.
- So...
198
00:09:28,347 --> 00:09:30,013
Well, this one's interesting.
199
00:09:32,138 --> 00:09:33,180
So buy it.
200
00:09:34,347 --> 00:09:35,347
It's 800.
201
00:09:36,097 --> 00:09:38,263
Well, it's kind of awful.
202
00:09:38,305 --> 00:09:39,430
But I like it.
203
00:09:39,472 --> 00:09:41,263
Thanks.
204
00:09:41,305 --> 00:09:43,180
Thank you very much.
205
00:09:47,389 --> 00:09:48,888
Is that Thom?
206
00:09:50,180 --> 00:09:52,721
Did... Did you...
207
00:09:52,763 --> 00:09:54,763
Um...
208
00:09:54,805 --> 00:09:57,347
Did you take all of these?
209
00:09:57,389 --> 00:09:59,347
Oh, no. Just this one.
210
00:09:59,389 --> 00:10:01,055
Oh.
211
00:10:01,097 --> 00:10:04,347
It's kind of the pity spot
reserved for the front desk guy.
212
00:10:04,389 --> 00:10:06,721
You know how to pick 'em...
213
00:10:06,763 --> 00:10:08,763
Apparently.
214
00:10:08,805 --> 00:10:11,930
Well, I do like it.
215
00:10:11,971 --> 00:10:13,514
I do.
216
00:10:13,555 --> 00:10:15,347
Well.
217
00:10:15,389 --> 00:10:16,721
You should probably be leaving...
218
00:10:16,763 --> 00:10:18,097
I should probably be leaving.
219
00:10:18,138 --> 00:10:19,305
Yeah, probably.
220
00:10:19,347 --> 00:10:20,930
You know, I...
221
00:10:20,971 --> 00:10:26,347
I haven't heard anything,
um, from Thom, um, in a...
222
00:10:26,389 --> 00:10:27,514
Swell.
223
00:10:28,389 --> 00:10:30,930
I thought you'd like to know.
224
00:10:32,639 --> 00:10:35,805
Between his phone, email
records and work schedule,
225
00:10:35,846 --> 00:10:38,222
I think I've got my
bases pretty covered...
226
00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:40,463
You know, short of getting
him micro-chipped at the vet.
227
00:10:42,805 --> 00:10:44,555
I'm not crazy.
228
00:10:44,597 --> 00:10:46,639
I'm not.
229
00:10:46,721 --> 00:10:49,763
I just don't see why
we can't be friends.
230
00:10:49,805 --> 00:10:51,389
Really?
231
00:10:51,430 --> 00:10:53,888
I'm sorry, are you...
You're fucking crazy.
232
00:10:55,222 --> 00:10:56,597
No.
233
00:10:56,639 --> 00:10:58,472
Yeah. You're fucking crazy.
234
00:11:02,555 --> 00:11:03,888
Sorry.
235
00:11:06,430 --> 00:11:07,763
You really hate me?
236
00:11:07,805 --> 00:11:08,805
Yeah.
237
00:11:09,430 --> 00:11:10,430
No.
238
00:11:13,846 --> 00:11:14,971
No.
239
00:11:20,097 --> 00:11:21,763
You should probably be leaving.
240
00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:33,805
Ex-boyfriend?
241
00:11:33,846 --> 00:11:34,846
Sorry?
242
00:11:34,846 --> 00:11:36,430
Rough breakup?
243
00:11:36,472 --> 00:11:38,430
Uh, kinda.
244
00:11:38,472 --> 00:11:40,180
Recent?
245
00:11:40,222 --> 00:11:42,180
- Sort of recent.
- Is he crazy?
246
00:11:42,222 --> 00:11:43,805
Uh, he might be crazy.
247
00:11:43,846 --> 00:11:46,430
Harassing you at work. Come on...
248
00:11:46,472 --> 00:11:47,846
He's desperate.
249
00:11:47,888 --> 00:11:50,180
And he should be;
you're a fucking catch.
250
00:11:51,472 --> 00:11:52,597
Thanks, boss.
251
00:11:54,305 --> 00:11:56,055
I mean it...
252
00:11:56,097 --> 00:11:57,389
Kiddo.
253
00:11:58,097 --> 00:12:00,097
Go back to, um...
254
00:12:00,138 --> 00:12:03,222
I don't know, whatever
it is you do around here.
255
00:12:14,097 --> 00:12:15,888
- Hi.
- Hi.
256
00:12:15,930 --> 00:12:17,680
Thanks for taking Mom back to the hotel.
257
00:12:17,721 --> 00:12:19,055
Oh, no problem.
258
00:12:19,097 --> 00:12:20,472
Pleasure.
259
00:12:20,514 --> 00:12:22,846
She made me do a shot from the mini bar.
260
00:12:22,888 --> 00:12:25,222
And then she made me
promise to cut my hair.
261
00:12:25,263 --> 00:12:26,430
That's Mom.
262
00:12:26,472 --> 00:12:27,888
How was work?
263
00:12:27,930 --> 00:12:30,013
Eh, non-eventful.
264
00:12:39,555 --> 00:12:41,430
Take your clothes off already.
265
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:57,000
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